“What you still need to know is this: before a dream is realized, the Soul of the World tests everything that was learned along the way. It does this not because it is evil, but so that we can, in addition to realizing our dreams, master the lessons we’ve learned as we’ve moved toward that dream. That’s the point at which, as we say in the language of the desert, one ‘dies of thirst just when the palm trees have appeared on the horizon.’ -Paulo Coelho The Alchemist
I think we all kinda lose our sense of “why” at some point. All we gotta do is keep going, no matter what we do, and the why will eventually get clearer. What’s the purpose of life? To live every second ✨🙌
I’ve had panic attacks before because I had no idea that I was anxious because I bottled it all up. Then I read that gratitude can help with anxiety, I tried gratitude meditation and I’ve not had them since. They say that it’s almost impossible to feel anxiety and gratitude at the same time. Thank you man! I’m forever grateful for your videos. You make us feel less alone.
@@Kat-fw5jo I guess it’s like a grounding exercise. I can see that. I will try that. I suffer severally of anxiety and panic attacks but I also have ptsd so it gets very ugly. But I’ll try this gratitude meditation!
can we appreciate how far he’s come. his content used to be all videography (which isn’t bad) and now there’s all this personal and intimate insight :’) it’s so nice to see the growth over the years.
Living with a narcissist is so emotionally exhausting. I've lived with one my whole life. It's all about them and their needs; stepping all over your sense of self and turning your self-esteem into dust is what they do best. I feel so disillusioned with life right now, like it's not worth living anymore, since I spent all those years trying to please that narc that I don't know who I am and what I really want to do. And I'm constantly pushing people away because I'd rather not be hurt in any way by anyone again.
I loved this video. It felt like just sitting down and chatting about the moments that have shaped us into who we are today. I think many of us have years or times that we can reflect back on like this. I know I look back on 25 like it was the worst year but the most productive year to show me what I deserve in life and what I don't. Thanks for the reminder that through pain comes growth if you're willing to walk ahead of the shadows!
Nathaniel is helping thousands of people work towards their goals in a way that promotes wellness, not sacrifices wellness. He is giving people a better chance at understanding their lives and making an honest evaluation of it. Very important; thank you Nathaniel.
I'm going through one of those bad periods in my life at the moment. Thank you for making this video. I'm trying to work really hard to fight through it right now and get to a better place and this video helps in a small way on my own journey.
@@alokrawatt Thank you for the encouragement, right now everything seems black and bleak because I'm in the middle of it. I'm taking steps to help myself by meditating and finally accepted that I need outside help by going to therapy.
I think that pain is something essential to our progress and evolution, it's the complement of pleasure, one can't exist without other. While suffering is optional and borns from attachment to pleasure or pain.
You’ve no idea how understood I felt while watching this video. I’m 20 years old and I have no clue of what the hell is going on. The hole past year is such a blur; I feel like I lost control of absolutely everything, but the worst part, and you put it into words, is that I lost the reasons and I lost the point of why I was doing the things that I was doing. I don’t know what’s going to happen and definitely not know where my life is headed, but is nice to hear that it will no always be this confusing. I guess you’re right, it’s a part of growing up. By the way, I’m sorry that you didn’t have a very pleasant time in Argentina, we would love to have you back!
I went through the same experience: 2019 was supposed to be one of the best years of my life, as I had begun a study abroad programme in Paris, but my year was spent recovering from burnout, suffering from depression and feeling numb inside. It was really difficult but it helped me begin my journey of personal development and taught me to take care of myself more
@@spunzel851 therapy and self-care. Giving myself time to rest and process everything that happened. Journalling is really good for processing things. Also try and identify what is causing your depression, as sometimes it is due to external factors - for me it was my studies. So once I finished my studies I felt so much better, as if a mountain had been lifted off my shoulders.
Thank you - listening to you describe a hard chapter of your own life which resonates with a period of my own life. Your honesty is inspiring - thank you ⭐️ I’m grateful for everyday that me and my kid live independently now. It’s not easy, battling self doubt whilst focussing on healing; however I wake up feeling safe now; feeing safe to create, to dream, to connect, and simply not giving up on myself.
I am suacide survivor and disabled 32yo male. Broke my body because of narcissistic abuse explained in your previous video. My self-conficence fall off the cliff. Felt so deep sence of shame that nobody is up to endure. I still suffer from PTSD and daily pain. It's very comforting to know that it can pass with time, although disablility cannot be undone. Thank you for seriousness here.
This affected me so deeply. I find myself on a parallel path-- workaways, narcissists, valuing reflection, travel. Suddenly out in the big bad world. What an articulate and thoughtful portrait of a past version of self. I hope that five years from now I can sit down and recount the connections and trials of life, and continue to strive forward. These sorts of videos make it measurable over time and prompt self awareness in others...myself included. Fantastic.
Having parents who are narcissists. Living in a "third world" country and being socially isolated contribute to the misery and hopelessness and the question "why" that complicate things more.
I'm 19 and I feel like I'm going through the worst year and the best at the same time, and it's sooo reassuring to hear someone who has grown out of it and can look back saying that it had to happen this way ❤️ thanks so much for opening up!!
I'm so sorry that the time you spent in Argentina was so hard. I know that this country can be very tough (actually, it's never been easy). But also I think that probably it was the time and place you have and will learnt more from, in due time. Nietsche made the famous quote: lo que no me destruye me fortalece. I hope if you ever come back you'll have a better time here. Your videos are consistenly better each time.
I'm 18, and I am experiencing the same experience that you had. I just graduated from high school. I decided to get a job first before entering college (i don't have a particular course in mind), and maybe, that way, I can connect with myself again. I don't have any idea about what's going on in my life right now. That's why I am so grateful for this video. I learned a lot. Thank you very much! Thank you for enlightening lost souls like me!😭
The level of genuine interaction I get from watching this channel is too real. Even though the video is a bit more relaxed, I feel like I am right there with you as a mate. Guess that just speaks to the power of storytelling right?
Wow... thank you for this video man! Not sure if you'll see this comment, or anyone else for that matter... but I've been going through a lot lately and definitely relate to a degree of that lost feeling and feeling like overwhelmed about the future etc.
Your vulnerability in this video is very inspirational! I think that many of us can relate to many elements of your story in one way or another. Thanks for sharing man!
This video is absolutely lovely. Hard times add depth to the human experience, they help grow the vital life skills of resilience and compassion (for ones self and others). Understanding the darker sides of the human psyche (including narcissism) and why they manifest themselves can not only aid in appreciating the genuinely positive people in ones life but, help in creating empathy for those who do harm themselves or others. Importantly, empathy and forgiveness for those individuals does not mean forgoing empathy and compassion for ones self. Boundaries and distance from negative behaviour is essential. Perhaps understanding that people are the way they are for a multitude of reasons including past events, genetics, etc, can help alleviate the pain felt internally, making it all seem a little less personal. To sooth the fear created by others, one must have boundaries for how they will be treated, reflecting respect and love for ones own life. These are just some thoughts tho haha, did not expect to ramble so much this morning. I hope you enjoyed my unedited stream of consciousness hahahah 😅
I actually feel like im in this place at 18 years old and its comforting to see that you aswell were in a dark period and ended up in such a great place not too long after. Always appreciate your videos man. We dont really know eachother but im sure speaking as a viewer you have many friends who appreciate your existence.
Listening to this felt like I'm talking to my friend sharing the pain and suffering. I fell liberated watching this video. I relate few of my life feeling with this story. Thanks for posting.
I totally agree with you on this! The darkest period of our lives shall be shared more, we shall be more vulnerable. Also its the darkest times that lead to points of breakthrough, reminds me of Nietzsche's quote "That which does not kill me, makes me stronger" Anyways great video man! Your videos are always the first thing I click on when I see them on my youtube feed lol
well this is probably the most relatable youtube video I have ever watched, thank you for sharing. It makes me feel a little less alone, grateful for what is and motivated to keep going.
I really needed to hear this right now. Not only have you validated my struggle but to see you on the other side of it, successful and happy, gives me alot of hope. Thank you for sharing.
I feel like i'm stuck. I decided to take off a semester of school do to burnout, and just feeling like crap. I plan on transferring to a new school but am just confused on what I want to do. This video is relatable.
"Streangth grows in the moments when you think you can't go on but you keep going anyway." Thank you nathaniel for putting this out you are mentally so strong. I have been feeling this way and your video really came at the right time. Please keep doing this storytime videos this will really help us.
I cannot explain how much I resonate with this video because of where I am now. I was in my kitchen the other day, crying because I have no idea what I'm doing with my life, and I happened to pick up a fortune cookie hanging around from an old takeout order. It said, "Do not wait for others to open the right doors for you." Thank you for encouraging us all to open our own doors. Excited to see what's in store for you :)
Thank you so much for sharing this with us Nathaniel! When I was 18, depression, anxiety and suicide attempts entered and devastated my world and everything I knew till that point. I was also abroad, also felt super alone, no friends and no one to speak with. So, hearing people share their disadventures really touches me in some type of way. So, thank you
Its nice to know that I am not the only one who went through something life changing in 2016-2017. Thank you for making this video. I am late comer to your channel but I am looking forward to watching your videos!
Nathaniel, I'm a teenager who has been watching your videos for almost a year and a half. I can't tell how much I've learnt from your experiences! especially this one, sometimes we live in a blurry world, you feel like if you're a stranger even if you were among your family and friends, but it's all ok because someday you'll realize that this period of your life was so important to your self-improvement. Thank you so much
I usually never comment on videos but this video struck a cord very deep, because i am going through the same things as you. I found you because i moved to France and saw your videos about France. I feel the exact same right now. Not being able to find a job, having lived in a toxic environment (in another country too), trying to find my reason for being and feeling very lonely. Thank you for the video, seeing someone in the same situation as me living well now gives me hope
Honestly, I'm amazed of your very clear language it's so smooth. You made me learn English, just by listening to your beautiful wise voice, thank you so much Nathaniel. I owe you everything.
Definitely loved the video, I totally resonate with what you're saying. I think I'm kind of in this unfortunately difficult phase of transformation in my life at the moment, and it's comforting to know I'm not alone in the experience. The format is nice. Just being vulnerable. I'd be interested in hearing how your recent move to Paris and that transition affected your perception of your life path too.
We really must give teens and young adult the tools to survive difficult and hostile environments. My young adults years were beyond horrible and it was because of the people I lived with. I have spent the past 5years healing from it. Blessings
I feel I am going through the same experience you just described. I struggled with two suicide attempts and many isolation issues before and during the pandemic. I felt that in the future making art or movies would feel like this immense library of content that isn't appreciated the way it should be. After that, I am now going back to writing, I'm learning to give speeches and talks, and I'm back into filmmaking. Thanks for having done this video. You are the best.
Thank you for sharing this. I am in a really similar situation right now. I’m currently 18 and an au pair in the US and also feel really lost in life. Hearing your story was really comforting and makes it a little easier to just accept where I’m at right now. Thank you
Thank you so much for this deep video about your experience. I think that it might be useful to create a sort of international holiday where the goal is not to be together for partying, but to be alone and reflect about what is going on in our life and if is in line with our aspirations, or something similar.
I feel you! When we go through a series of painful experiences/traumatic ones - it will change your nervous system up until you look within and do the work to release all feelings so your inner child can be seen, heard, accepted, loved, and feel safe again. It took me forty years to finally undo my belief system, thought patterns, feelings, and habits. Now, I feel safe, joyful, more loved, more seen, and home within myself. It is from our heart that comes true healing. But first... We have to be willing to sit with our pain, fear, ego, and old ways of living. Blessings to you and every human undoing the lies we were conditioned to believe. Telling the truth from your heart is always REAL. Good for you.
felt like i needed to hear this! i resonated a lot with it as last year at 18 I had decided to take a gap year, and have felt the exact same as you described it of feeling lonely and lost questioning if I made the right decision. i’m still learning and it’s just a season of my life but it was reaffirming to hear this. thank you and i’m very proud of you and inspired by you to see where you’ve come from and all that you’re creating.
I feel like I'm going through my toughest year of my life right know, sometimes feeling extra drained. Your story helped me to remind myself that even the most difficult times are worth living and could teach us a grest lessons ✨
Sorry that happened to you in Argentina. Hope you are open to come back whenever you feel ready or are interested in and find the right people. It would be great to meet you, both you and the guys from Yes Theory have a huge role in who I am today and are my inspiration. Thank you for sharing this.
Después de conocer medio mundo . LO ÚLTIMO QUE VA A HACER es volver a Argentina. Creemos que somos el centro del mundo . Y el mundo cree que somos Brasil.
I respect that you are comfortable to open up to share what so many of us have experienced in life. If more of us would be able to do this, the world would be a better place. Many find comfort just hearing others struggles, knowing that someone has made it to the "other side" of such issues. Thank you for being so open and vulnerable.
2016 was the worst year of my life too, so bad that I am confident that I will never feel such profound sadness, anxiety and just utter depression in my life, even the death of a loved one would not make me feel like that I believe. It’s incredible that I am healed from that feeling, no remnants of them and although it was incredibly bad for me at that time, i am glad to have gone through it cos now I appreciate happiness more. I also did the au pair program in the USA, had good host families but it’s a hard program to complete but I did and it has helped me see things and now I wanna travel more and just be the person I envision myself to be. Being young is hard but I am glad I am always applying myself, slowly but surely I am getting somewhere. Now I wanna get the financial/investment thing right cos that’s another story too but yea. You are doing well Nathan!!!!
I really appreciate you putting this video out and sharing some of your struggles. It’s the hard times that forge us. The hard times suck without a doubt but when we get through them we come out the other side with increased super powers, some good wisdoms, and some new “internal” strength. One thing that is so important is the that you didn’t give up! No matter if your pace slowed or paused or if all of it felt like a huge weight on your back pinning you down, you moved forward. Solid work brother. ✔️😊
Thank you. My father was a narcissist and it took me many (still) years to realize the lessons and overcoming such. I admire your approach to life I could have used such confidence.
Salut Nathaniel, je ne sais pas si tu liras un jour ce message. Merci pour ta vidéo. Je te suis depuis longtemps et j'apprécie ta démarche de te montrer comme tu es, un être qui souffre et qui a souffert, qui est passé par de mauvaises expériences sur le moment, mais qui s'en est sorti et qui ne dramatise pas ces moments-là, ni les rend tabou. Chaque nouvelle vidéo que tu fais me fait réfléchir, m'aide aussi à avancer, à apporter d'autres visions ou éléments de réponses aux questions que je me pose, fait écho quelque part. J'aime la vision que tu portes sur le monde, celle que tu transmets par ta caméra. Tu fais parti de ces personnes qu'on aimerait rencontrer et passer du temps avec pour discuter et échanger sur le monde, sur la vie. Hâte de continuer à te voir évoluer, je serai là !
You seem to be such a pure and genuine soul, Nathaniel. And you're so lucky for having grown in such a loving and comforting environment so you immediately could tell something was wrong and you were not around the right people. Some of us are so used to toxic behaviours that it's way harder to tell when we're not being treated properly. You have a way to put hard topics into words that is both captivating and inspiring. Thanks for sharing this.
woah, until this day I found out you are the same age as I am. I always thought you were older than me because you're so much wiser and mature in terms of the topics you discuss, I feel so dumb about things sometimes. I was those kids that went to college after high school trying to fight for a role that I didn't even like to begin with. I got a degree as society had expected me to so now I can finally feel like I can do things for myself.
While it's sad that you had to experience these things and pain... me at age 41 hearing a twen talking about his worst year of his life, all I can think is: I really hope you're right - that this had been your worst year. In my experience chances are low. To many the most painful year is when you say goodbye to a parent or the love of your life for the last time.
This was beautiful, Nathaniel. Your maturity is something that's always stood out for me. I've been going through this phase for the past year and a half, (I'm 37) and it's not easy. Taking it one day at a time and praying that the path will become clearer as I take the steps forward. Take care!
YASSSS, sooooo excited to watch another piece by Nathaniel, the best storyteller! Storytelling is one of the hardest things for me to do, yet he does it so easily, effortlessly, and wonderfully. Edit: I finished watching, thanks Nathaniel for being so vulnerable, I believe we all appreciate your vulnerability! Another video of good storytelling is produced.
i’ve been a subscriber of your channel for years now and i’ve enjoyed every single video you put out thus far. but i have to say by far this video really speaks to the heart for me. i found myself in a place like yours few years back and i felt so so hopeless. watching this video and looking back,i’m beyond grateful of where i am now. thank you for putting this out ❤️
Went through a super hard time in my life recently, a period of about 2 years, but I've grown so mich stronger, and resilient, and courageous, and intelligent, and human. I've found my meaning and my purpose and what I really want to do for the rest of my life, and what I want from life period, and what I want to give back. Sometimes you need to be at the bottom of the ravine, to truly see the meaning of the light.
It's pretty cool watching how much courage you have to share such personal stories on here. People clearly connect well with you. It's very inspiring to see what you create from such personal subject matter.
Wow this hit too close to home for me. As someone who is going through this period right now hearing this means a lot. Within the last year I dropped out of college to pursue my own creative career only to soon have my world shattered when my mom was diagnosed with a terminal illness (not to mention in the middle of the pandemic). I’ve never felt more lost. I’ve worked that barista job to pay the bills and be able to help my mom. All of it has made me want to give up on my aspirations and dreams. It’s been hard to see beyond this really dark time so really thank you so much Nate for giving this piece of inspiration and glimpse of hope at the end of the tunnel.
I really liked this. I'm in that stage of life right now where I feel lost and I need to figure out what kind of life I want to live. Thank you for letting me know that this was normal :) It really helps a lot
Thank you for sharing your experiences. I think everyone at some point in life needs to go through such hardships to find out what is the most important thing in life. I feel like I'm going through hard times whenever my life path changes, however I can't see it until it's over. I just went through an episode of (medically diagnosed) depression and now I feel like I'm standing on my two own feet again. It has been 2,5 years where I felt lost, at the edge of a panic attack all day every day. I didn't trust myself or my judgement. World didn't feel real to me but deep down I knew this is gonna be over one day. I went through so much already that I know I got this. Now is the time I finally feel like myself again and I'm excited for what my future holds as I'm only 26. Your videos make me feel like I'm not alone in this, so to you and to all watching this, I wish you the best personal growth so far. You are important and loved, you got this!
I'm 19 and I can completely understad the feeling you're talking about. this confusion is making me crazy. It's like a huge darkness that is swallowing all the hope and light in my soul!
This is a very helpful video, coming from someone who is 22 about to transfer for a degree he is unsure of. While watching peers already graduate. Pandemic is screwed up, I still feel like I am 20 years old. Feels very strange.
that's such an awful experience Nathaniel, i'm so sorry, so happy you're out the other side. i really enjoyed this format - you are an excellent storyteller :)
"Mar calmo não faz bom marinheiro", é o que penso quando passo por um momento de dificuldade. É relaxante e aconchegante ouvir um relato como esse, porque todos passamos por essas fases e esquecemos que faz parte. I love your videos, they're so inspiring! Have a nice day, Nathaniel ( :
I want to share this video with anyone who has yet to experience such difficulties, but I don't think they will get it. Watching this made me remember those years that I often don't want to think about. I recently had a conversation with a friend from Israel. I was telling him how taking care of my 22 year old niece has it's challenges but I wanted to spare her the harshness that we can experience out on our own for the first time. He told me that I cannot and would not be doing her any favors. I thought "why not?!". Why would I not want to spare her that kind of desperation and pain that I had experienced? I could tell he was struggling to find the words in English and then he finally said "Ethos". That I would not be who or where I am today without that horrible period of time that I managed to survive.
Thank you for opening up and sharing this with us all. A brave choice to be so vulnerable...bless be for that courage! And what lessons you've learned (and thankfully are sharing!) that have made you so very empathetic!
I have so much respect for what a worldshifting affect hard situations have on an individual. For you this was a phase, an excurse if you will. For many that is their baseline experience.
This is one of my top faves you have created. I totally relate, have been there countless times & you communicate beautifully on how these experience hits & shapes us. Thank you Nathaniel, I do not feel alone x
Feeling sadness can be so lethargic and took so much of our energy. I'm glad you're now in a good place, Drew! I love your videos and often replay it, for your deep thoughts & inspiring life journey!
I’m currently going through a tough time mentally and I’m learning to find the beauty in those struggles. Future me will be much stronger than before. Appreciate you sharing this means a lot to a lot of us. ♥️
"How hard it is to live with someone who doesn't like you and who doesn't make you feel safe." Thank you for that! I'm currently working through how incredibly painful it was to be living with a parental figure just like that.
the narcissistic abuse you suffered in Argentina is no small thing. It is designed to trigger insecurity and fear, and above all... self doubt. It mines the very core of your self perception of value and it can take months or sometimes years to recover. This is why we should be careful with whom we spend time and to acquire emotional tools as early as we can. I'm glad you got through this period, I admire your strong and kind heart/mind. :) I've learned to admire the most people who have gone through deep struggle and emotional abuse, and still got through with a kind, noble and warm heart towards the world....and your content is just... a delicacy to watch. Cheers from Mexico City.
Things take time….again and again and again this is something I realize in different parts of my life, and when I do I still get surprised. Pain when it happens feels unbearable, but pain when surpassed (or surmounted) given time changes your perspective. And this is true of any other feeling, happiness, security, insecurity, comfort, discomfort, etc. The important thing I guess is that we move on - not in a sense of forgetting or shoving things down - but we keep moving forward. Even if the last sliver of hope is that there will be a tomorrow, cling on to that. As always, thank you for being so introspective in your videos! Then and now it has allowed me to unpack my own journey, even if at any point in time I’m not understanding what’s happening. Cheers 🎉
I love watching your videos and the way you tell the story. I'm a lot older than you and I have never felt so lost about my life than now. I know in my heart that I want to make a drastic change but I don't have the energy to do the work.
loved this video nathaniel!!! really felt like I was sitting down and listening to a friend. I think intimate and vulnerable storytelling is your strength :) thank you for your beautiful content!
The hardest thing for me to swallow was the severe (torture) child/teenage abuse that I faced was there for a reason and gave me a lot of appreciation. Even to this day, it is hard for me to say that it was necessary to teach me compassion, and when I hear others, I question this every time. I was born compassionate, and I don't think I needed the torture to teach or show me this. It is evil in this world, and people who go through things they didn't need to struggle with "necessary" statements. I think this is also important to realize and spread to others. The "bad" actors should not be excused for their bad actions
You're wise bro! Thanks for sharing the ups and downs. My wife and I have moved abroad 3 times now and each time is difficult but so enriching! when I get back to America I think, "why don't more people move overseas?" Now we're in japan with 2 kids. It's the best yet and also harder than ever.
Damn, watching a human being open about so personal things is truly empowering. Huge respect man.
agreed! he's helping so many by sharing this
I love your poems man!! They've helped me get through some tough times.
100% agree with with comment
@@thecrisroldan Loved ittttt
its soemething called being real..
“What you still need to know is this: before a dream is realized, the Soul of the World tests everything that was learned along the way. It does this not because it is evil, but so that we can, in addition to realizing our dreams, master the lessons we’ve learned as we’ve moved toward that dream. That’s the point at which, as we say in the language of the desert, one ‘dies of thirst just when the palm trees have appeared on the horizon.’ -Paulo Coelho The Alchemist
I definitely gotta read it now! Thanks for sharing 🙏
I *LOVE* that book
The Alchemist is one of the best books ever, recommend everyone to read it, it is a must!
Wow!
I just saved this comment 👏🏼
I think we all kinda lose our sense of “why” at some point. All we gotta do is keep going, no matter what we do, and the why will eventually get clearer. What’s the purpose of life? To live every second ✨🙌
I was literally feeling this and saw your comment and made me feel so much better .. thank you so muchhhh 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻✨✨✨ have a lovely day aheadddd
@@TilikaVispute have a lovely day too ❤️ Thank you for being there 🙌✨
@@nawaldoghri 🥺🥺☺️☺️♥️♥️
I concur! I’m experiencing this now. Being patient through the experience is a challenge :0)
@@kmichalene yes a tough one! But we can still find ways through it, sending you all my positive energy ✨
I’ve had panic attacks before because I had no idea that I was anxious because I bottled it all up. Then I read that gratitude can help with anxiety, I tried gratitude meditation and I’ve not had them since. They say that it’s almost impossible to feel anxiety and gratitude at the same time.
Thank you man! I’m forever grateful for your videos. You make us feel less alone.
I want to try that gratitude meditation. How did you do it?
@@kita3256 Hey Kita! I just searched guided meditation for gratitude on CZcams and used those. Have a great day wherever you are!
@@kita3256 i noticed that whenever I was anxious in life, going through anxious times I always reminded myself what I'm great for in life
@@__jake.m thanks! Will definitely do that. I’m in California 😀 Have a great day too, wherever you are!
@@Kat-fw5jo I guess it’s like a grounding exercise. I can see that. I will try that. I suffer severally of anxiety and panic attacks but I also have ptsd so it gets very ugly. But I’ll try this gratitude meditation!
can we appreciate how far he’s come. his content used to be all videography (which isn’t bad) and now there’s all this personal and intimate insight :’) it’s so nice to see the growth over the years.
Living with a narcissist is so emotionally exhausting. I've lived with one my whole life. It's all about them and their needs; stepping all over your sense of self and turning your self-esteem into dust is what they do best. I feel so disillusioned with life right now, like it's not worth living anymore, since I spent all those years trying to please that narc that I don't know who I am and what I really want to do. And I'm constantly pushing people away because I'd rather not be hurt in any way by anyone again.
I loved this video. It felt like just sitting down and chatting about the moments that have shaped us into who we are today. I think many of us have years or times that we can reflect back on like this. I know I look back on 25 like it was the worst year but the most productive year to show me what I deserve in life and what I don't. Thanks for the reminder that through pain comes growth if you're willing to walk ahead of the shadows!
Ikr the video was awesome 👍
Truly inspiring
Nathaniel is helping thousands of people work towards their goals in a way that promotes wellness, not sacrifices wellness. He is giving people a better chance at understanding their lives and making an honest evaluation of it. Very important; thank you Nathaniel.
*”We have two lives. The second begins when we realise we only have one”* - Confucius
Love from a small CZcamsr 💙
Sit down storytimes are great! It's like sitting down with a friend with a cuppa. Thanks for sharing your journey. Really resonates sooo much!
I'm going through one of those bad periods in my life at the moment. Thank you for making this video. I'm trying to work really hard to fight through it right now and get to a better place and this video helps in a small way on my own journey.
hey, please never give up, you already know its gonna change for better. :)
@@alokrawatt Thank you for the encouragement, right now everything seems black and bleak because I'm in the middle of it. I'm taking steps to help myself by meditating and finally accepted that I need outside help by going to therapy.
@@overnightgrowth buddy I totally get you. I been through that phase and can understand every bit of it.
It almost feels like everyone has to go through some level of depression to figure out what we want from our life.
I think that pain is something essential to our progress and evolution, it's the complement of pleasure, one can't exist without other. While suffering is optional and borns from attachment to pleasure or pain.
I absolutely agree. My depression has given me the worst but it has also given me the gratitude and the astonishment with which I see the world.
One thing I've learned through my life is sometimes quitting (and letting go of something) is a good thing
You’ve no idea how understood I felt while watching this video. I’m 20 years old and I have no clue of what the hell is going on. The hole past year is such a blur; I feel like I lost control of absolutely everything, but the worst part, and you put it into words, is that I lost the reasons and I lost the point of why I was doing the things that I was doing. I don’t know what’s going to happen and definitely not know where my life is headed, but is nice to hear that it will no always be this confusing. I guess you’re right, it’s a part of growing up.
By the way, I’m sorry that you didn’t have a very pleasant time in Argentina, we would love to have you back!
Things will be better soon. Till then keep the faith, buddy.
Worst phase in our life teaches us most important lessons than a good phase in our lives .
I am experiencing it:)
Thankyou for sharing Nathaniel❤
Let's keep going and get through these tough times! 💪
More than 40% of the viewers of this video are going through the same including me
I went through the same experience: 2019 was supposed to be one of the best years of my life, as I had begun a study abroad programme in Paris, but my year was spent recovering from burnout, suffering from depression and feeling numb inside. It was really difficult but it helped me begin my journey of personal development and taught me to take care of myself more
How did you heal from depression?
@@spunzel851 therapy and self-care. Giving myself time to rest and process everything that happened. Journalling is really good for processing things. Also try and identify what is causing your depression, as sometimes it is due to external factors - for me it was my studies. So once I finished my studies I felt so much better, as if a mountain had been lifted off my shoulders.
@@romaiseb do you think it is link to Paris ? What idea did you have of the City before ?
Thank you - listening to you describe a hard chapter of your own life which resonates with a period of my own life. Your honesty is inspiring - thank you ⭐️
I’m grateful for everyday that me and my kid live independently now. It’s not easy, battling self doubt whilst focussing on healing; however I wake up feeling safe now; feeing safe to create, to dream, to connect, and simply not giving up on myself.
I am suacide survivor and disabled 32yo male. Broke my body because of narcissistic abuse explained in your previous video. My self-conficence fall off the cliff. Felt so deep sence of shame that nobody is up to endure. I still suffer from PTSD and daily pain. It's very comforting to know that it can pass with time, although disablility cannot be undone. Thank you for seriousness here.
This affected me so deeply.
I find myself on a parallel path-- workaways, narcissists, valuing reflection, travel. Suddenly out in the big bad world.
What an articulate and thoughtful portrait of a past version of self. I hope that five years from now I can sit down and recount the connections and trials of life, and continue to strive forward. These sorts of videos make it measurable over time and prompt self awareness in others...myself included.
Fantastic.
Whenever I watch your videos I feel like I'm becoming more and more wiser with every video.
-THANK YOU 🙂
“It’s okay to not be okay sometimes”
Really needed to hear it, thanks for sharing your story, man!
Having parents who are narcissists. Living in a "third world" country and being socially isolated contribute to the misery and hopelessness and the question "why" that complicate things more.
:(
OMG. That hit hard
I'm 19 and I feel like I'm going through the worst year and the best at the same time, and it's sooo reassuring to hear someone who has grown out of it and can look back saying that it had to happen this way ❤️ thanks so much for opening up!!
I'm so sorry that the time you spent in Argentina was so hard. I know that this country can be very tough (actually, it's never been easy). But also I think that probably it was the time and place you have and will learnt more from, in due time. Nietsche made the famous quote: lo que no me destruye me fortalece. I hope if you ever come back you'll have a better time here. Your videos are consistenly better each time.
I'm 18, and I am experiencing the same experience that you had. I just graduated from high school. I decided to get a job first before entering college (i don't have a particular course in mind), and maybe, that way, I can connect with myself again. I don't have any idea about what's going on in my life right now. That's why I am so grateful for this video. I learned a lot. Thank you very much! Thank you for enlightening lost souls like me!😭
The level of genuine interaction I get from watching this channel is too real. Even though the video is a bit more relaxed, I feel like I am right there with you as a mate. Guess that just speaks to the power of storytelling right?
I think what I’ve struggled with the most is that “why”, which is something still hard to make sense of but hopefully one day it will:/
Wow... thank you for this video man! Not sure if you'll see this comment, or anyone else for that matter... but I've been going through a lot lately and definitely relate to a degree of that lost feeling and feeling like overwhelmed about the future etc.
Your vulnerability in this video is very inspirational! I think that many of us can relate to many elements of your story in one way or another. Thanks for sharing man!
This video is absolutely lovely. Hard times add depth to the human experience, they help grow the vital life skills of resilience and compassion (for ones self and others). Understanding the darker sides of the human psyche (including narcissism) and why they manifest themselves can not only aid in appreciating the genuinely positive people in ones life but, help in creating empathy for those who do harm themselves or others. Importantly, empathy and forgiveness for those individuals does not mean forgoing empathy and compassion for ones self. Boundaries and distance from negative behaviour is essential. Perhaps understanding that people are the way they are for a multitude of reasons including past events, genetics, etc, can help alleviate the pain felt internally, making it all seem a little less personal. To sooth the fear created by others, one must have boundaries for how they will be treated, reflecting respect and love for ones own life. These are just some thoughts tho haha, did not expect to ramble so much this morning. I hope you enjoyed my unedited stream of consciousness hahahah 😅
I actually feel like im in this place at 18 years old and its comforting to see that you aswell were in a dark period and ended up in such a great place not too long after. Always appreciate your videos man. We dont really know eachother but im sure speaking as a viewer you have many friends who appreciate your existence.
Listening to this felt like I'm talking to my friend sharing the pain and suffering. I fell liberated watching this video. I relate few of my life feeling with this story. Thanks for posting.
I totally agree with you on this! The darkest period of our lives shall be shared more, we shall be more vulnerable. Also its the darkest times that lead to points of breakthrough, reminds me of Nietzsche's quote "That which does not kill me, makes me stronger"
Anyways great video man! Your videos are always the first thing I click on when I see them on my youtube feed lol
well this is probably the most relatable youtube video I have ever watched, thank you for sharing. It makes me feel a little less alone, grateful for what is and motivated to keep going.
I really needed to hear this right now. Not only have you validated my struggle but to see you on the other side of it, successful and happy, gives me alot of hope. Thank you for sharing.
I feel like i'm stuck. I decided to take off a semester of school do to burnout, and just feeling like crap. I plan on transferring to a new school but am just confused on what I want to do. This video is relatable.
"Streangth grows in the moments when you think you can't go on but you keep going anyway."
Thank you nathaniel for putting this out you are mentally so strong. I have been feeling this way and your video really came at the right time. Please keep doing this storytime videos this will really help us.
I cannot explain how much I resonate with this video because of where I am now.
I was in my kitchen the other day, crying because I have no idea what I'm doing with my life, and I happened to pick up a fortune cookie hanging around from an old takeout order. It said, "Do not wait for others to open the right doors for you."
Thank you for encouraging us all to open our own doors. Excited to see what's in store for you :)
Thank you so much for sharing this with us Nathaniel! When I was 18, depression, anxiety and suicide attempts entered and devastated my world and everything I knew till that point.
I was also abroad, also felt super alone, no friends and no one to speak with.
So, hearing people share their disadventures really touches me in some type of way. So, thank you
Its nice to know that I am not the only one who went through something life changing in 2016-2017. Thank you for making this video. I am late comer to your channel but I am looking forward to watching your videos!
Always deeply thoughtful. Enjoyed the harp music, too. Thank you.
Nathaniel, I'm a teenager who has been watching your videos for almost a year and a half. I can't tell how much I've learnt from your experiences! especially this one, sometimes we live in a blurry world, you feel like if you're a stranger even if you were among your family and friends, but it's all ok because someday you'll realize that this period of your life was so important to your self-improvement. Thank you so much
I usually never comment on videos but this video struck a cord very deep, because i am going through the same things as you. I found you because i moved to France and saw your videos about France. I feel the exact same right now. Not being able to find a job, having lived in a toxic environment (in another country too), trying to find my reason for being and feeling very lonely. Thank you for the video, seeing someone in the same situation as me living well now gives me hope
Felt the same thing in Bordeaux too
Honestly, I'm amazed of your very clear language it's so smooth.
You made me learn English, just by listening to your beautiful wise voice, thank you so much Nathaniel.
I owe you everything.
i agree.
It's refreshing to see someone speak of their experience as the observer, life unraveling itself to help him grow. Such an awesome video!
Definitely loved the video, I totally resonate with what you're saying. I think I'm kind of in this unfortunately difficult phase of transformation in my life at the moment, and it's comforting to know I'm not alone in the experience.
The format is nice. Just being vulnerable. I'd be interested in hearing how your recent move to Paris and that transition affected your perception of your life path too.
We really must give teens and young adult the tools to survive difficult and hostile environments. My young adults years were beyond horrible and it was because of the people I lived with. I have spent the past 5years healing from it.
Blessings
can we just appreciate the quality of the videos he makes!!!!
I feel I am going through the same experience you just described. I struggled with two suicide attempts and many isolation issues before and during the pandemic. I felt that in the future making art or movies would feel like this immense library of content that isn't appreciated the way it should be. After that, I am now going back to writing, I'm learning to give speeches and talks, and I'm back into filmmaking. Thanks for having done this video. You are the best.
Thank you for sharing this. I am in a really similar situation right now. I’m currently 18 and an au pair in the US and also feel really lost in life. Hearing your story was really comforting and makes it a little easier to just accept where I’m at right now. Thank you
Thank you so much for this deep video about your experience. I think that it might be useful to create a sort of international holiday where the goal is not to be together for partying, but to be alone and reflect about what is going on in our life and if is in line with our aspirations, or something similar.
Your honesty and authenticity is really encouraging. I love your videos!
I feel you! When we go through a series of painful experiences/traumatic ones - it will change your nervous system up until you look within and do the work to release all feelings so your inner child can be seen, heard, accepted, loved, and feel safe again. It took me forty years to finally undo my belief system, thought patterns, feelings, and habits. Now, I feel safe, joyful, more loved, more seen, and home within myself. It is from our heart that comes true healing. But first... We have to be willing to sit with our pain, fear, ego, and old ways of living.
Blessings to you and every human undoing the lies we were conditioned to believe. Telling the truth from your heart is always REAL. Good for you.
felt like i needed to hear this! i resonated a lot with it as last year at 18 I had decided to take a gap year, and have felt the exact same as you described it of feeling lonely and lost questioning if I made the right decision. i’m still learning and it’s just a season of my life but it was reaffirming to hear this. thank you and i’m very proud of you and inspired by you to see where you’ve come from and all that you’re creating.
I feel like I'm going through my toughest year of my life right know, sometimes feeling extra drained. Your story helped me to remind myself that even the most difficult times are worth living and could teach us a grest lessons ✨
I hope you feel better soon I love you 💕
Sorry that happened to you in Argentina. Hope you are open to come back whenever you feel ready or are interested in and find the right people. It would be great to meet you, both you and the guys from Yes Theory have a huge role in who I am today and are my inspiration. Thank you for sharing this.
Después de conocer medio mundo . LO ÚLTIMO QUE VA A HACER es volver a Argentina. Creemos que somos el centro del mundo . Y el mundo cree que somos Brasil.
I respect that you are comfortable to open up to share what so many of us have experienced in life. If more of us would be able to do this, the world would be a better place. Many find comfort just hearing others struggles, knowing that someone has made it to the "other side" of such issues. Thank you for being so open and vulnerable.
I sincerely hope that this is the only thing you ever have to go through in your life. It might have been the worst year but it wasn’t bad at all.
thank you for being real. Vulnerable and transparent. Real connection here Nathan.
2016 was the worst year of my life too, so bad that I am confident that I will never feel such profound sadness, anxiety and just utter depression in my life, even the death of a loved one would not make me feel like that I believe. It’s incredible that I am healed from that feeling, no remnants of them and although it was incredibly bad for me at that time, i am glad to have gone through it cos now I appreciate happiness more. I also did the au pair program in the USA, had good host families but it’s a hard program to complete but I did and it has helped me see things and now I wanna travel more and just be the person I envision myself to be. Being young is hard but I am glad I am always applying myself, slowly but surely I am getting somewhere. Now I wanna get the financial/investment thing right cos that’s another story too but yea. You are doing well Nathan!!!!
Thank you so much for this video Nathaniel!
I really can relate to your story here. Happy that you are living your dream now, it's so inspiring
"Pain is one of the biggest teacher in life" , couldn't agree more!! ❤️🖤🙃
true
I really appreciate you putting this video out and sharing some of your struggles. It’s the hard times that forge us. The hard times suck without a doubt but when we get through them we come out the other side with increased super powers, some good wisdoms, and some new “internal” strength. One thing that is so important is the that you didn’t give up! No matter if your pace slowed or paused or if all of it felt like a huge weight on your back pinning you down, you moved forward.
Solid work brother. ✔️😊
Thank you. My father was a narcissist and it took me many (still) years to realize the lessons and overcoming such. I admire your approach to life I could have used such confidence.
Salut Nathaniel, je ne sais pas si tu liras un jour ce message. Merci pour ta vidéo. Je te suis depuis longtemps et j'apprécie ta démarche de te montrer comme tu es, un être qui souffre et qui a souffert, qui est passé par de mauvaises expériences sur le moment, mais qui s'en est sorti et qui ne dramatise pas ces moments-là, ni les rend tabou. Chaque nouvelle vidéo que tu fais me fait réfléchir, m'aide aussi à avancer, à apporter d'autres visions ou éléments de réponses aux questions que je me pose, fait écho quelque part. J'aime la vision que tu portes sur le monde, celle que tu transmets par ta caméra. Tu fais parti de ces personnes qu'on aimerait rencontrer et passer du temps avec pour discuter et échanger sur le monde, sur la vie. Hâte de continuer à te voir évoluer, je serai là !
You seem to be such a pure and genuine soul, Nathaniel. And you're so lucky for having grown in such a loving and comforting environment so you immediately could tell something was wrong and you were not around the right people. Some of us are so used to toxic behaviours that it's way harder to tell when we're not being treated properly. You have a way to put hard topics into words that is both captivating and inspiring. Thanks for sharing this.
I really appreciate the way you describe your feelings; you describe them without sugar coating or exaggerating.
woah, until this day I found out you are the same age as I am. I always thought you were older than me because you're so much wiser and mature in terms of the topics you discuss, I feel so dumb about things sometimes. I was those kids that went to college after high school trying to fight for a role that I didn't even like to begin with. I got a degree as society had expected me to so now I can finally feel like I can do things for myself.
While it's sad that you had to experience these things and pain... me at age 41 hearing a twen talking about his worst year of his life, all I can think is: I really hope you're right - that this had been your worst year. In my experience chances are low. To many the most painful year is when you say goodbye to a parent or the love of your life for the last time.
I hear what you're saying but he clearly means "so far in his life"
This was beautiful, Nathaniel. Your maturity is something that's always stood out for me. I've been going through this phase for the past year and a half, (I'm 37) and it's not easy. Taking it one day at a time and praying that the path will become clearer as I take the steps forward. Take care!
YASSSS, sooooo excited to watch another piece by Nathaniel, the best storyteller! Storytelling is one of the hardest things for me to do, yet he does it so easily, effortlessly, and wonderfully.
Edit: I finished watching, thanks Nathaniel for being so vulnerable, I believe we all appreciate your vulnerability! Another video of good storytelling is produced.
i’ve been a subscriber of your channel for years now and i’ve enjoyed every single video you put out thus far. but i have to say by far this video really speaks to the heart for me. i found myself in a place like yours few years back and i felt so so hopeless. watching this video and looking back,i’m beyond grateful of where i am now. thank you for putting this out ❤️
There are so many parallels in my life and language I haven't had but needed that I'm literally sharing your videos. Thank you is an understatement.
Went through a super hard time in my life recently, a period of about 2 years, but I've grown so mich stronger, and resilient, and courageous, and intelligent, and human. I've found my meaning and my purpose and what I really want to do for the rest of my life, and what I want from life period, and what I want to give back. Sometimes you need to be at the bottom of the ravine, to truly see the meaning of the light.
It's pretty cool watching how much courage you have to share such personal stories on here. People clearly connect well with you. It's very inspiring to see what you create from such personal subject matter.
Wow this hit too close to home for me. As someone who is going through this period right now hearing this means a lot. Within the last year I dropped out of college to pursue my own creative career only to soon have my world shattered when my mom was diagnosed with a terminal illness (not to mention in the middle of the pandemic). I’ve never felt more lost. I’ve worked that barista job to pay the bills and be able to help my mom. All of it has made me want to give up on my aspirations and dreams. It’s been hard to see beyond this really dark time so really thank you so much Nate for giving this piece of inspiration and glimpse of hope at the end of the tunnel.
I watched the whole videos. What an amazing story . Thank you for sharing 🌷
I really liked this. I'm in that stage of life right now where I feel lost and I need to figure out what kind of life I want to live. Thank you for letting me know that this was normal :) It really helps a lot
Thank you for sharing your experiences. I think everyone at some point in life needs to go through such hardships to find out what is the most important thing in life. I feel like I'm going through hard times whenever my life path changes, however I can't see it until it's over. I just went through an episode of (medically diagnosed) depression and now I feel like I'm standing on my two own feet again. It has been 2,5 years where I felt lost, at the edge of a panic attack all day every day. I didn't trust myself or my judgement. World didn't feel real to me but deep down I knew this is gonna be over one day. I went through so much already that I know I got this. Now is the time I finally feel like myself again and I'm excited for what my future holds as I'm only 26. Your videos make me feel like I'm not alone in this, so to you and to all watching this, I wish you the best personal growth so far. You are important and loved, you got this!
I'm 19 and I can completely understad the feeling you're talking about. this confusion is making me crazy. It's like a huge darkness that is swallowing all the hope and light in my soul!
This is a very helpful video, coming from someone who is 22 about to transfer for a degree he is unsure of. While watching peers already graduate. Pandemic is screwed up, I still feel like I am 20 years old. Feels very strange.
that's such an awful experience Nathaniel, i'm so sorry, so happy you're out the other side. i really enjoyed this format - you are an excellent storyteller :)
Wow Nathaniel... Thanks for sharing so many of your worst moments in life, I believe we all appreciate your vulnerability!
"Mar calmo não faz bom marinheiro", é o que penso quando passo por um momento de dificuldade. É relaxante e aconchegante ouvir um relato como esse, porque todos passamos por essas fases e esquecemos que faz parte.
I love your videos, they're so inspiring! Have a nice day, Nathaniel ( :
I want to share this video with anyone who has yet to experience such difficulties, but I don't think they will get it. Watching this made me remember those years that I often don't want to think about. I recently had a conversation with a friend from Israel. I was telling him how taking care of my 22 year old niece has it's challenges but I wanted to spare her the harshness that we can experience out on our own for the first time. He told me that I cannot and would not be doing her any favors. I thought "why not?!". Why would I not want to spare her that kind of desperation and pain that I had experienced? I could tell he was struggling to find the words in English and then he finally said "Ethos". That I would not be who or where I am today without that horrible period of time that I managed to survive.
Thank you for opening up and sharing this with us all. A brave choice to be so vulnerable...bless be for that courage! And what lessons you've learned (and thankfully are sharing!) that have made you so very empathetic!
I have so much respect for what a worldshifting affect hard situations have on an individual. For you this was a phase, an excurse if you will. For many that is their baseline experience.
This is one of my top faves you have created. I totally relate, have been there countless times & you communicate beautifully on how these experience hits & shapes us. Thank you Nathaniel, I do not feel alone x
outside of your personal trauma and experiences , this whole video is sooooo relatable . Now that you mention it I've been going through this.
J'adore quand tu nous racontes ton cheminement, ça permet de voir que chaque parcours est différent et que tout est possible 🙋♀️🎉
Feeling sadness can be so lethargic and took so much of our energy. I'm glad you're now in a good place, Drew! I love your videos and often replay it, for your deep thoughts & inspiring life journey!
I’m currently going through a tough time mentally and I’m learning to find the beauty in those struggles. Future me will be much stronger than before. Appreciate you sharing this means a lot to a lot of us. ♥️
"How hard it is to live with someone who doesn't like you and who doesn't make you feel safe." Thank you for that! I'm currently working through how incredibly painful it was to be living with a parental figure just like that.
This resonated so much with me. The video felt like a warm comforting hug from a wise person I trust. Thank you
the narcissistic abuse you suffered in Argentina is no small thing. It is designed to trigger insecurity and fear, and above all... self doubt. It mines the very core of your self perception of value and it can take months or sometimes years to recover. This is why we should be careful with whom we spend time and to acquire emotional tools as early as we can. I'm glad you got through this period, I admire your strong and kind heart/mind. :) I've learned to admire the most people who have gone through deep struggle and emotional abuse, and still got through with a kind, noble and warm heart towards the world....and your content is just... a delicacy to watch. Cheers from Mexico City.
Things take time….again and again and again this is something I realize in different parts of my life, and when I do I still get surprised. Pain when it happens feels unbearable, but pain when surpassed (or surmounted) given time changes your perspective. And this is true of any other feeling, happiness, security, insecurity, comfort, discomfort, etc. The important thing I guess is that we move on - not in a sense of forgetting or shoving things down - but we keep moving forward. Even if the last sliver of hope is that there will be a tomorrow, cling on to that.
As always, thank you for being so introspective in your videos! Then and now it has allowed me to unpack my own journey, even if at any point in time I’m not understanding what’s happening. Cheers 🎉
I love watching your videos and the way you tell the story. I'm a lot older than you and I have never felt so lost about my life than now. I know in my heart that I want to make a drastic change but I don't have the energy to do the work.
loved this video nathaniel!!! really felt like I was sitting down and listening to a friend. I think intimate and vulnerable storytelling is your strength :) thank you for your beautiful content!
The hardest thing for me to swallow was the severe (torture) child/teenage abuse that I faced was there for a reason and gave me a lot of appreciation. Even to this day, it is hard for me to say that it was necessary to teach me compassion, and when I hear others, I question this every time. I was born compassionate, and I don't think I needed the torture to teach or show me this. It is evil in this world, and people who go through things they didn't need to struggle with "necessary" statements. I think this is also important to realize and spread to others. The "bad" actors should not be excused for their bad actions
You're wise bro! Thanks for sharing the ups and downs. My wife and I have moved abroad 3 times now and each time is difficult but so enriching! when I get back to America I think, "why don't more people move overseas?" Now we're in japan with 2 kids. It's the best yet and also harder than ever.