How a Fantasy Bond Forms
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- čas přidán 4. 05. 2018
- Author Tamsen Firestone describes how fantasy bonds can form early in life and go on to replace real love in an adult relationship.
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In order to get out of that fantasy bond relating as an adult, you have to grieve the fantasy that is never going to come true. The fantasy is unmet needs being met, and we can only meet these needs for ourselves.
😭😭😭😭😭😭. Yeah, it will hurt but I'm willing.
Unmet needs being met... yes. Absolutely. Being accepted, being given attention and care, holding a safe space.. going to do that to myself.
I wonder what her take is on the spiritual movements of soulmates and twin flames....🤐
Right?
Everyone is different. That's what I've learned. Don't bring baggage to the next relationship and don't make new lovers pay the price for past sins. Good luck out there.
I have many child trauma. When I was young, my father is abusive while my mom is neglectful. I'm very imaginative person and I use this imagination to shield myself from the trouble of outside world.
The QUESTION: Is fantasy bond REALLY BAD? Because without it I won't survive this world. Also if both couple have that they are more likely to stay together while those who don't have that are more likely to stray out from the relationship.
Does Fantasy bond related to companionate love (intimacy + commitment) or it is different?
I think having a fantasy bond is what keeps most couples together, ive been through similar life experiences as you described and yes, without fantasy i could not survive and be happy in this world, life is cruel, people are complicated and sometimes cruel manipulative and self centered, every person has a narcissistic part in them whether we want to admit it or not, people are not just black or white they're both but everyone has their own balance many are imbalanced, if we focused only on the negativities of each person in our lives then we would've never been able to love people. Nobody is perfect and sometimes really good people do very bad things because that's how we are in nature our brains are designed to fail us and loose sanity, we call ourselves humans because we're indeed very smart creatures but we all came from nature and animals, animals are cruel they just do anything to survive and make themselves happy, im not saying we don't have rational thinking and morals we do but many people just can't have good enough control of their minds as others who are more empathetic and generous, but even very kind and nice people make mistakes too and hurt others, so fantasy bond is plesent feeling which makes us focus on all the positive and nice things about our lover, friend or family member instead of always focusing on the times they hurt us, it doesn't mean we should blindly ignore all the toxic things they say or do, it just means we can forgive them if we can and want to or set aside our hurt and anger to work on ourselves and patiently let them realize their wrongdoings to improve themselves. I had to let go of alot of people who were my family because i realized that nobody have to tolerate abuse which is physical and mental, it's important to choose what is more important the pain or the person and how severe his/hers toxic behavior is, if we can tolerate it or not anymore, everyone is going to hurt us in one way or another.. 🎃 Fantasy bond can help people to stay longer together and wait to see if things get better or worse 😇👐
I wonder if sucking thumb is a sign of a soothing that shows the child feels unsafe/not nurtured? I've never heard it before, but it makes sense.. especially when it is done excessively and also when the child is getting older..
❤
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