First 48 | Tom Segura Stand Up Comedy | "Completely Normal" on Netflix
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- čas přidán 27. 05. 2021
- Tom Segura talks about one of his favorite TV shows on A&E: First 48. Watch his full stand up comedy special "Completely Normal" streaming on Netflix
tomsegura.com/ - Komedie
The nicknames ( cricket and jellyfish) are 100% true. My family has had friends for decades and nobody knows the guy’s real name. 🤣
I learned this guy's real name after 17 years of knowing him! Everyone called him Tino; I thought it was his name! I was shocked!
Lol I hear ya. We had a older guy on my mom's side called Daddy Jack. We never found out his real name. He was a gray haired gangsta who sat at a table and played cards everyday. When I was 10 yr I asked Daddy Jack 'What do you do besides play cards. He said I kill people boy. After that I never questioned him and always let him win. :-p
Are y’all black? cuz props for not being offended by this. Segura is funny shit
I got first cousins that didn't know my real name until our 20's
Everyone calls me by my nickname. When my friend called me by my real name her husband, with a face like a slapped arse, asked her, "Who's Stephanie?". He was serious. He had no idea it was my real name.
As a black person, I know for a fact that "Dooky Shoes" is a name that would stick with a kid from the hood after he dropped out of kindergarten.
As a white person, I must admit there was this girl years back called poopshoe. Guess how she got the name...
i poop hard after whiskey.. hate it, can't ride my BIKE to work
@@essentailoilsbyjane3674 damn, switch to a different liquor.
Dooky Shoes is The Guy who stepped in Dog dooky while running from the police...When they caught him, the police made him take his shoes( air force ones) off and leave them on the scene...His name became " Dooky Shos" ...legend has it...😆 🤣 😂
You aint black. STFU
I was laughing so hard when he started listing all the white dude names then he finished it with mine and I was all “fuck you” in tears 😂
That is so true tho haha
I was ready for it, but I still felt it
+Connor Levay - you are still safe though, as Connors do not appear in the show.
Lmao!
Buddy my name is literally Chad. You’ll live 🤣
As a black guy I can tell you this impression is pretty accurate
As a white guy i agree with you.
If you didn’t vote for Biden, then you’re not…
@@hardassteel ?
@@Pauly421 He's talking about when creepy dementia Joe said that black folks aren't black unless they vote for him.
When I heard that voice I thought of Samuel Jackson in a time to kill
That "lawyer up" advice is something alot of people don't listen to lol
I ain't telling nothing to nobody 😄🙄
There is this lecture on CZcams from a law professor with the title "Don't talk to the police". I highly recommend to watch it :)
And the right to remain silent until that lawyer arrives
This is why I have CCW Safe CCWsafe.com ⚖. If you own a gun or have a ccw get a legal aid plan.
Leaned this from watching the JCSpsychology channel. Get a lawyer the moment they sit you down.
I named my cat after this bit... THAT'S CRICKET RIGHT THERE!!
That’s so fucking funny
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
IVE BEEN KNOWIN CRICKET 27 YEARS
Do you also call your cat in an agressive black voice?
@@Svoorhout85 in the most friendly of ways....yes.
I remember finding this on netflix and then searching toms name on youtube, what a rabbit hole.
Sameeee
do you wear 'em high and tight now?
Tom is involved in 2 of my 5 favorite podcasts ever. He's a soldier of comedy
I never heard of him before. Found YMH, hilarious. First time seeing his stand up.
@@tombystander what's your other 3 out of interest?
“I was standing here and he killed the dude… there!” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I love Tom. He’s hysterical. “You have the right to be offended, but not the right to expect me to care” 😂
Where is that from?
Sure, Tom came up with that….. get your head out your a$$ bruh.
cgc
@@therealostrich836 in
Baby
bruh this isnt political whos getting offended
I told my mom this joke and then she told me that there’s been multiple episodes of the first 48 filmed in our city. I locked the doors immediately
😂😂😂ok that is so fearful
There’s crime in every city so that’s silly
😂😂
Damn what city was you in
Lemme guess… Tulsa, Oklahoma
“I’ve seen THREE HUNDRED people get interrogated on this show, two of them were like ‘can I talk to a lawyer?’ And both times the detectives were like ‘FUCK!’”
That got me 😂
It's true tho 😂 I said the same thing watching that show like "why tf don't they ask for a lawyer"
Same thing for TCAP lol
They ended the show after a lady requested a lawyer..though they didn’t drop charges…..and she was Caucasian 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Giggity goo alright #goirish
This comment is so well dictated.
I _really_ need to use apostrophes more to avoid breaking up quotations.
This and Scared Straight is probably his best bits. Fucking amazing.
I also like the disabilies arent funny but some are bit
Best one for me is the Steven seagal one.
U gotta watch the GHB one
BIKES!?
He's got better. This is like his mainstream one.
"I been out here for a minute!" LMAO
I worked on the show in 2014, for about a year. I'd sit for hours watching the interrogations. Fascinating stuff.
Proly saw a lot a stupid stuff too right lol ?!
"That's just Cricket. I don't even know." Every👏🏽single👏🏽time👏🏽!
@3:46 “ I got a picture of you hangin out wit dookie shoes!”🤣🤣🤣I can’t breath!
And he killed that dude there. That foot stomp had me crying 😂
If you have ever watched the first 48 show you will know how incredibly accurate this is
.. yep
I love that Tim only lost all the weight just so he could confidently make fun of fat people again. Props big pimpin
Tim Pool
Tim Tebow
@San's Life Streams ehhhhh leave it to the comedians whytey
I know Tim. good guy
Tim lost so much weight that he went from an O to an I.
His stories are incredible, my favorite is the story he tells when he impersonates the 5 year old boy, who sucks at telling stories, cause he's only 5. My other favorite story is BIKES!
BIKES
Wha you stole?
Lmao
Shut up and hold my pocket. HOLD MY POCKET!
I don’t like breakfast
I still yell BIKES randomly in excited situations. No one has recognized it yet. One day though, one day.
He’s dressed like Steven Seagal in his last movie.
He's been dressing like that for 57 years.
Your mom dresses like Seagal.
He dressed like that because it was a diss to Bert but in a parody
Wow back when bunns was young and chunked up
@@WegotTheBOMB you just lost your job buddy
Holy shit I didn't know Burnt Chrysler could do such an impressive Tom Segura impression!
This comment wins everything. Internet. Life. Heaven. Hell. EVERYTHING.
Burnt what
Bert Kreischer
@@Revok7272 Chrysler. It's a car I think.
@@my95buick oh, You don’t understand the joke.. go on google if you can search better than a gingjew, look up times people ‘pronounced his name wrong’ Idk anyone that hasn’t enjoyed spectating this amazing universal spectacle that is the reality in which everyone messes up his whole name so bad it seems intentional. It’s an incredible commonality that just showcases horrible misreads.
“Did you or did you not know Dookie Shoes?” In all languages, from every year on this planet, this is the greatest assembly of words to ever exist.
His cricket guy impression felt like he was auditioning for a role as Tracy Morgan 😂
"AH BE KNOWIN' CRICKET TWENNEH-SEBBEN YEAR!!" will never not be funny.
I loved it when he said "stop being white and weird" 😂 comedy should have no limits or restrictions. This guy is hilarious
But most importantly, the impression was spot on. I had an uncle who sounded just like that.
And nooooooo, he didn't die on some First 48 type shit.
He OD'ed.
@@LembeckIsStaying R.I.P to your uncle
My favorite first 48 moment was when the dude says "the one I shot" when talking about the victim lol
Cricket’s name is Matthew Mara.he used to be a
Priest.
And a dog um... laid with his neck lol
Unless you've got crack. If you've got crack, then let's boogie.
Im sad more people do not get this reference!
If anyone ends up inside him, that’s gonna cost them a whole sixer!
Oh, you're talking about Street Rat!
Those names are spot on. I was on a jury for an attempted murder case one time, and all the names were like that. Eight Ball is the only one I remember, but L'il Stank, Dookie Shoes, Cricket would all fit in with that crowd.
"Hey Bryce, can we talk to you for a second..."🤣🤣🤣👍
Nah bro I’m at tanners house
@@bradleygonzalez1160 Because Prince is serving pancakes. Winner....blouses.
@@SailfishSoundSystemLOL!!! 😂 savage !
i wish Tom would yell like a black man more often
BIKES!!
Lol
His Black impressions are spot on in my opinion.👍 He must have grown up in or near a Black community.
He does a lot of code switching when he's around the inner city blacks
@@mayorjimmy HOL MAH POCKET... HOL.. MAH... POCKET...
My wife and I still reference this while watching The First 48.
when he says “I been out here for a MINUTE”
missed opportunity “witness states he’s been out here for at least 60 seconds” I love Tom Segura
First 48 producers: SOLVE FED SMOKERS MURDER
#JusticeForConald
Wouldn't be surprised if Garth Brooks was the prime suspect
Tim really looks like Brett here
Kreisnuzer?
That is Brett, he's just doing an impersonation
Brent Butt?
Cops: Hey Bryce, can we talk to you for a second?
Me: I ain't did shit to nobody
I’d never heard of this comedian before but he has made my morning! I can’t wait to hear more of his material. 😂
Check our “your moms house” podcast, it’s him and his wife. Nothing but comedy gold
@@mr_space_toastHis wife is mad annoying though…
This is too funny! Especially since I’ve been binging The First 48 LOL
The suspects also break down in tears immediately following mention of "they momma". It is remarkable.
I've seen this so many times but i just have to watch it
Facts
I can't stop watching this. I really like First 48 and this is spot on.
“There’s no Jim’s on the show” LMFAOOOOOO no lie hahaha
I approve this message.
Cause the "Jims" actually get away with murder. Or lawyer up in real life.
@@adrukova1407 Is Jim what the J stands for in O. J.?
@@seanscanlon9067 Nope, it stands for Juice. As in, $$$. Most of the time it's only the Jims have them. Every now & again though a Juice will have them too.
@@doktormcnasty Right, so it's about money then regardless.
They could save expenses and do a whole season of First 48 just sticking around Polk County, Florida. Sheriff Grady has a YT channel where he speaks directly from a lectern about the latest cases and the violent crimes never end. It's nuts.
This was the very first bit I ever watched of Tom. My buddy showed me this clip way back in the day when this special aired on Netflix. I died laughing and have been hooked ever since. #HighNTight
My first experience with Tim as well
...all charges against Teshaan were dropped.
I've seen almost every episode of the first 48 and there are so many cases that wouldn't have been solved/prosecuted if the assailant would have just shut their mouth
Goddamn never realized Tom Segura was hilarious, this was actually all gold.
So you were somehow familiar with Tom Segura, but somehow not aware he is funny? What did you see Tom Segura in where he isn't being funny?
@@a_single_white_female Naw I'm actually the same way. I've seen Tom on a few different podcasts and he seemed like a cool guy and all but he is way more hilarious in stand up and I just realized that today.
@Marcus Middleton The thing is I've seen him with Joe Rogan, Bill Burr and Joe DeRosa. Joe Rogan leads the conversation, Bill is the loud one and Joe DeRosa is the one that whines and argues with them. However Tom is the mild manner one. However in stand up he is hilarious. The way he sets up jokes is perfect. I didn't expect him to be up there with Bill Burr but he is.
Honestly this is the funniest set I've ever seen of him... #thefirst48 lol
As some who has a downstairs neighbor who’s named “Thundercat”, his depiction was spot on. Minus the neck brace. 😂
I don’t even remember how many times I’ve watched this but every time it’s still just as hilarious as it was the first time😂Tom’s timing and delivery is insane
Omg I just love Tom Segura he’s a riot! Hysterical like belly laughs guaranteed!
I deadass knew a Bryce, Tanner, Skyler and Connor back in high school.
Coming from a Tyler is the cherry on top. Cheers.
I didn't but I met them in the workplace and they never had a story like this one lol
Everyone who says "deadass" went to school with them.
Of course you did TY-LER…..
Slightly off but when I was younger, one of my friend's was named Kyler and he had a little brother named Bryson.
Even though I know all these jokes, I always feel like it's the first time I heard them. Some of the funniest stand up I've ever seen!!
Best show ever made. They never quit.
Bryce, Tanner, Skylar and Conor with the “sorry bro”..💯😂
One of my favorite jokes gotta watch every time
I even had to show the inlaws when they were watching first 48
Search Opie and Anthony first 48, that's where he got it from
Once again.. he's freaking delivery is just awesome..😂😂😂😂🤘
I first heard of Tom Segura on Pandora. On my Daniel Tosh station.
Been searching and watching everything he has out.
Man is one of my fav comedians.
You love him long time?
“I’m gonna talk to the cops and straighten this whole thing out.” You’re gonna do 25 to life, have fun with that.
This is unstoppably accurate 😂
My all time favorite routine of his hands down!! AMAZING!!
I love the First 48, and I love this bit more
Tom is just reminding us that if he knows he has to hide a body within 48 hours
Apparently by eating it
This happened on Monday. It’s Wednesday. We’re not gonna solve that shit!
This is my absolute favorite story from Tom. I went to County Lockup awhile ago and there was this chick that kept shitting herself and by the time I bonded out, I had given her the moniker "Dookie Shoes". After that, everyone in our pod called her "Dookie Shoes". She started answering to her new name. Heroine is a heluva drug.
I am impressed AF that you used the word moniker!!
@@debgordon6542 girl. I HAD to. Bwahaha 😂 I still have the letter I wrote my husband when I gave h her the name. Hilarious.
This is the first special of yours I watched and haven’t missed one since. You’re awesome
Cool story bro
Has someone who has a cousin who was bound gagged and executed, you hit the nail on the head. 15 years later we still get a call saying they haven't figured anything out. If it wasn't for comedians like you, conversations like this would be brutal. I appreciate your comedic relief
i’m so sorry. there aren’t words.
God I love realism. Fuggin hilarious.
OMFG!!! I can watch him over n over and still laugh as hard as I did the first time!! Love stand up and tom definitely got the gift......Bro Bro!!!! Lmao!!!
Need more Segura on Netflix! :D
My favorite bit of all time
I like the first 48. I think there have been more than 3 people who have lawyered up on that show, but still there are a lot of them who think they don't need one.
Let’s be honest, if Tom ever kills someone, he has MAYBE 48 minutes before Christina turns his ass in for the reward. Cant challenge the water champs title from maximum security prison.
Christina will turn in him so she can go back to Theo.
@@garyhost354 Theo fans are weird
@@chocolatecharley99 she was happier when she was with him
One of my favorite specials of all time.
I never heard of you bro...honestly 🤷🏻♂️ I'm from the UK, have had the shittiest week at work so far...came home went down the CZcams rabbit hole and found this channel..
You got me.laughing my arse off right now, thanks man 👍🏼
(I just subbed for more content 💪🏼)
This was great and spot on.
Best story teller of all time. His delivery just makes me laugh, no one has ever been able to do that except Jim Gaffigan.
Favourite comedian all time. Love your sense of humour Tom you always have me laughing in tears 😂
This gets me every time 😂 lets be honest theres no Jim's on the show 😂😂😂 nahmean
He's 100% right, i DO know that guy. Not Jellyfish, the other guy. Dookie-shoes. He quit the smoke 6 months ago though.
Glad I discovered this guy, he’s so funny.
He jus made me realize I been calling my freind G forever I don't even know his real name he never told me lmao
Tom is barely known here in the UK which is a crime, his stand up is superb
Another common theme of that show is the one move almost all the guilty dudes do:
Tucking their entire body into their tshirt. 100% guilty rate if you see it. It's not even a temperature thing as they've done it in Memphis, Baton Rouge, Seattle, NYC, Miami and Flint. Doesn't matter. AC or no AC, hot or cold climate, doesn't matter.
It's a strange defense mechanism where they subconsciously think they can escape the situation by hiding or running away into their shirts, lol.
It's not a defense mechanism. They keep those interrogation rooms ice cold so the suspect will be uncomfortable and confess faster.
@@billyvotaw7843 Lol. Beat me to it.
Do you go around pretending to be a forensic psychologist like as a bit?
Tell me you’ve never been to jail without telling my you haven’t been to jail.
Yeah, so you're all literally r*tarded and/or can't read lmao. That rules.
1. It is basic psychology. Children also often do this when in trouble.
2. No, they don't keep all of those rooms air conditioned. Some? Sure. Others they keep very warm for the same reason.
*quick aside* , hilarious how to a person you're like "ok, expert" while then delivering what you've learned via CZcams clips of interrogations. Again, you all rock.
Anyway, how do I know that climate isn't an issue with this behavior? My BIL is a police officer. He's done interrogations. We've actually spoke about this show and I'm repeating what he's said almost verbatim. Some rooms are cold, some hot and most are the same as every other room in the building. Some are 80, some are 60, most are about in the middle.
3. My other BIL? Works at the county jail!
So, you're scummy a** may have been to jail, lol. Cool! Good for you! I don't need to go to one to know what it's like and...
...
...psst ...come closed I have a secret...
...not all jails are the same. Yeah! Crazy, I know. One jail in Arizona famously makes prisoners wear pink jumpsuits and live outside. Are you dumb enough to think ALL jails are like that of that's the one you went to?!
So, again, you're all HILARIOUSLY r*tarded. Keep it up, stay smart and never learn how to read. You're crushing it. Keep rocking on!
This is peak Segura.
Love watching First 48 now. So true
Favorite comedy bit of all time.
I almost spit my beer all over my phone at "Dookie Shoes"
Still one of the best bits he’s ever done
Did you just gender identify?
@@mhthreeseventy5081 Excuse me IDK if you know but Tom came out as gender fluid. He identifies as male when doing comedy and astral gender when ze is DJ Dad Mouth dropping sick beats at the club and shadow boxing to prepare for zis big fight with Crazy Loc.
Love these old clips Timmy golden stuff
My favourite special from tom
Tommy Bunz... Classic man
I remember laughing my ass off at this then suddenly realizing.....i live in Tulsa, Oklahoma, yeah that Tulsa, where they filmed multiple seasons, hell i knew some of the people that got murdered, that shit's sobering as hell
Great bit
This is a absolute classic!! 😂
This is my favorite part of the set. Tom's black voice is definitely high and tight.
My best friend looked 17 was 44 blew me away every time his birthday came around 😂😂
Thanks for the video
This dudes my new favorite comedian !!!!
I knew a guy named Cricket. Super nice guy but at the same time I wouldn't doubt him committing any type of crime.
“It wasn’t me sgt Ashton it was cheeseburger”!
One of your best forsure man
This is really good!