How To Respond To Insults - Q&A Episode #1
Vložit
- čas přidán 17. 08. 2016
- How To Respond To Insults - The first of our new Q&A series!
Reading is like taking a supplement for your mind
Get any Free audiobook at: www.audibletrial.com/Improveme...
Join My Newsletter For Monthly Emails About (Health, Wealth, Love, And/Or Happiness Related Subjects):
bit.ly/2jnsoxh
Not responding doesn't necessarily imply you agree with them and are insecure, it could be that others words simply no longer bother you and responding is a waste of time and energy. Good video anyway!
Exactly, sometimes ur silence is the best answer!
that's what it may mean to you but to the rest of the group or audience... it still looks like you are agreeing that it's okay for them to offend you
No. Not responding is always a bad thing.The problem is, *you* might think "I don't care. Why would I bother?" but that doesn't count for the other person. There are many ways one can interpret silence but none of them is positive.
Even if you really don't care, you should react. You can do something as simple as saying "Ok, if you think so." and then just walk away. This way you will ignore them. It's not even much more but the effect is a whole different.
Most typically, people will count silence as a victory (in what ever they're trying to achieve...). And that might even make things worse.
However, if you react and then move on, you show them "yeah I heared you but I don't care.".
Sbeast I agree. Those who know how to speak, know also when.
elgato9o Don't care about what other people think. Don't let others influence your actions. Do it for you, not them. Silence is probably better.
When people insult me I don't respond and instead become a godfather planning how to destroy their lives lol 😅😅
Sameee
Me too
i would just say “okay?”
Well you could just do that. 😂😂😂😂
Planning now !
There's a lot of people who laugh off an insult and respond the "confident" way, suggested in this video. And deep down, behind their fake laugh, they are feeling hurt. I think the third method also allows people to insult you and tells them that it's acceptable behavior. I remember when I was young I never knew I was insulting my sister's friends and our cousins because they would laugh it off. Until their moms would call my mom talking about how distressed we made their daughters feel by our jokes. I think it's better to correct the person by letting them know that they made an inappropriate remark and it doesn't and it does not deserve the dignity of a response.
Moromo Music I do what he says, laugh it off and joke about it if it’s not that bad. But there are times when you have to be firm about what you dislike and really just don’t care about. I believe that is what he should also include in the video. Because you shouldn’t let everything offend you but you shouldn’t brush off stuff that means a lot to you.
but arent you being too nice to assholes by just telling they hurt you? Assholes should be hurt more than they did to you imo. Only problem is - how to not get hurt even more from some people after that :( I think that way goes to killing people sometimes.
@@shhuayb woah let’s calm down brother 😂
Hey it's been a long time.... ah, uhm, almost 1 year... How are ya'll
Humor it.. that's it. youre welcome.
Politically correct speech isn't my thing, fk off your name is longer than ur comment :P
lmao!!
XD
It's not so easy for me. I think I'm not smart enough for that.
Ikr I have no idea why people think it’s so difficult
What about option 4 which is punching the insulter in the face and letting them know you are not one to be fucked with?
i like that
You just stooped yourself WAY below the insulter's level.
You'll break your arm and end up looking like a weakling. The human skull is the hardest part of the body and your hand is the weakest. You do the math.
***** exactly the reason why you shouldn't get emotional. Most people have never punched anyone before, and if they do it ends up in their wrist being injured. Reality sucks, but hey...what can you do? Emotional idiots are going to be emotional.
ya mom swallows kids on the daily That's not good. Ive used that method every time someone insults me, it's not good people start getting scared and avoiding you.
the thing is about somebody being insulting is they gain power out of the situation. They enjoy pissing you off and get a kick out of it. The video shows one way to take their enjoyment away because you laugh it off. However with some people, such as passive aggressives, this laughing it off is a declaration of war and they will come at you all the more because they'll say you can take it and laugh it off.
This is when things get more interesting because you've got deal with not just their rude comments but also the underlying bullying. The best way is to remember that they're doing for kicks so you take the fun or of it by owning the insult (shown in video) and give it back to them.
You look like you've put on weight.
Yea I have, you inspired me, lol
The idea is they stop insulting you when they realise it's being reflected back on themselves.
Thanks for this man
Reflecting it back is what I'm struggle with... I Can't really insult people... I lack content...!!!
What to do??
naib singh narwal I’m in the same boat as you, buddy.
genius
I agree. I always was the quiet person that would just laugh it off but suddenly realized the same person would continue to attack me.... i would pretend i'm not hurt but I actually am and replay what they said in my head.
I think there is not a one size fits all -- you have to know generally who the person doing the insulting is and what insult is it, I believe.
I'm always insulted because I'm Asian and I can't speak well and in home i cry. so I decided to watch this and it really helped. Thanks man
cocolove 0730 that’s called them being racist don’t give them a reaction just be like “okay”
Love you coco! Listen to some comedy, adopt a dog, dedicate yourself to drawing
If people dont like you so what :)
Life is what you make of it :)
I feel you... Came to Germany when I was 13 and now I'm 18 but still kinda self-conscious about my German...
Same i always get called short
@@justsomelilimposter8103 just say great things come in small packages
i'm the aggresive type. when someone insults they go to the dentist :D
JohnyMST u r great enough don't change
😂😂
Looool thats what i like lmaooo😂😂😂
Why to the dentist?
JohnyMST I’m the 2nd type. I hold everything in. Help me out please.
I rarely have people insult me. But when I do, I literally laugh and genuine struggle to take it seriously if the insult holds no real weight xD If its constructive criticism, I happily take it and remove any emotion from the equation. It was awesome seeing your perspective. Keep the videos coming, you really got something here.
Here's one: you're an idiot
OnePercentBetter here's an insult for you
XDDDD
OnePercentBetter same here m’dude
Shannen Canton omg did you just guess their gender wooooow
just messing with you lol 😂
Insults online are given out like candy on Halloween my friend. Stay a while longer lol
Aren't you just opening the door for someone to be rude on a daily basis.
Zexion98 That's what I was thinking.
Zexion98 This video was intended for people who get offended easily when the other person means no offense. Dealing with someone who is actually trying to offend you might be a different topic.
If you are staying silent you open the door more... They notice that they can do it without any response, feeling a dominant position where they use it against you, basically how bullying works...
no you're actually befriending him. now that you have replied to his insult in positive manner, you too can insult him next time without offending him.
mcsnurtle that is so insulting and fucking boring at the same time that halfway of the sentence, person who insulted you will just go away and never talk to you neither positively nor negatively.
*hater* :"You suck!"
*me* ;"Honey, I also swallow"
awsomwgirlbr lol good one!
I am the agree and amplify type of person, but I still feel hurt and replay the situation. Can someone help?
Feeling hurt is necessary to help you agree to the insult. Just agree what they said and work on it. Because you're hurt, you'll be motivated to do whatever it takes so they no longer can insult you on the thing they insulted you on before.....
No no no you stop it at its source at the beginning your basically asking them to keep evolving their strategies come on there's no pacifist way out of this
niecers Thank you for that :)
***** You're obviously not from Philly.
Say something back
i have hard time responding to insults as well. Usually when someone insults me i stay quiet and i take it too personally. but next time i'll try this method.
MimicTheFakeTreasureChest Hey man, you are not cool! Wachu gonna do about it?
Milenatureza. well. eh your right. im not cool, but popularity really doesn't matter to me.
MimicTheFakeTreasureChest Hey dude, you were suppose to joke about it...
Milenatureza oh. dammit! i did it again!
i stay quiet too except i don't really get offended......just think most ppl opinions are pointless and even if they are true so what i know my weaknesses way better than anyone ........it's like they are telling me that the sky is blue or sumthing
disagree and amplify works pretty well too.
how would that look like in the given scenario of "hej, you gained some weight!" ?
hahaha. They're all situational and it's a bit hard to make a disagree and amplify on that scenario.
no I didn't gain any weight, but alot of it!
yeah i got so fucking fat I don't know how to look at myself anywhere below my boobs.
no I actually been fasting - no food for 3 days. I'm proud of myself - now i can fit into clothes not especially made for me :). and I'm getting even better thanks for worrying about me though.
Thank you....I was just being bullied online by some people I thought were my friends... I shut off my computer in sadness and regret..... I got my phone to go on CZcams because that always cheers me up. I saw this video in my recommended and watched it. It helped so much. Thanks you!
I like it a lot! I really liked it when you said: "The way that you re-act is creating the frame".
Such a power thing. Thank you for this video.
I once was in a family reunion and a number of my relatives wouldn't stop commenting on how much weight I have put in. Initially I laughed it off, joked about it with them and did not show them that I was offended. They kept coming at me all throughout the day (we arrived in the morning, and was there until around 9 PM, so yeah) repeating the same comments everytime they see me or pass by me. It drained me so much I ended up crying in a room and feeling so depressed. It caused me to not meet anyone of my relatives for more than a year and that's when they realized that they were wrong. The whole incident scarred me until now, traumatized me so much I avoid social gatherings altogether as much as I can. Sometimes there are just some people who wouldn't stop until they see you break, no matter how much you agree or disagree with them.
All when someone thought you gained weight... Waoh
This video is a lot of help, but I'm not very good at responding to complements either. they make me feel awkward and I'm never really sure what to say besides thanks.
what if they complement with question like why are you so smart? And further more , if they are smart persons too,.
Gta5410 u dumb fuk, your english is not good that doesn't imply that Indians are not good at it, infact if u research u'll find that indians r among the top best english speaking people. leave alone the benefits u've got from this video in ur 3rd class college.
when you get a compliment just look them in the eye and say thank you. (perfect)
thanks for noticing ( a bit arrogant)
you think so? I always though you're the smart one. (insecure)
ookay?(unappreciative,rude or not accepting the compliment)
if it's like a questions you start with thanks and then you actually answer if you dont really know you can say something like
thanks. though i don't know I guess I was born this way. (slightly funny and arrogant.)
thank you. my intelligence comes from lots and lots of books(short simple)
thank you. i try to improve myself a lot including biography books, movies, tutorials for which i spend at least 3 hours every day.(long and easy to continue if the person you speak with wants to know more.)
Kim Jinhwan Exactly lol
actually I thought it was really kind and thoughtful of you to answer someone's question and help us to deal with abusive people in a humerous way that doesn't hurt anyone. thank you
I cannot thank you enough for this channel, channels like yours, and charisma on command have really changed my life.. Thank you!
I'm like the second one.
I keep quiet, put it in my head. lol
"lol"?
Seriously?
@@shawarmageddonit I also just keep quiet because I don’t know any insults
As of recently, I've just started lambasting them in my head. It's not a bad strategy
Time flies...
It's just hurt so much whenever if we think about it
literally no matter what negative things someone says to me my response is always thanks I appreciate it
I enjoy the thoughts that you make me think. It's like giving me the power to take the buildings/structures in my mind and lift them up and sweep under them. Thank you
I had been an Option 2 for so long. Thanks for the insight. This video actually help me understand myself more. I will change now. This is quality content.
I would disagree and amplify. You want the insulter to be stigmatized for being rude...otherwise they won't conform to unspoken social rules, thus becoming a rude person altogether
Gabneyy example
What do you mean? We need more
This happens to me most of the time and I’m always freaking out! I kept quiet every time people insulted me not until they crossed the line. 😅 Thank you for making this vid! Such a huge help buddy!
I am a pychologist and i can say that depends of three factors of how you could react: 1) Who is the person who says that. 2)The magnitude of the insult. 3)The context of the situation or your day.
I carry a pocket knife wherever I go.
*I'll just leave it at that.*
Nah that can put you in trouble
The best way is to become a bodybuilder
I bet no one will ever insult u
Mee too
@@lopkiza5935 not really
And my dick swings past my knees
imagine trying to act hard in the yt comment section lol
this was unbelievably on point
nice Video!
the one who asked for this video is actually proving he's superior, as he wishes to learn
This can actually send the message that your flaws are funny and it's ok for your friends to mock them.
You don’t know how much this has helped me in school, especially in late middle school. Thx
When somebody says something and says it again later, like your so ugly, and then later they say it again, just say, “You already said that” and if the person gets pissed off easily say, You already said that, do not repeat yourself” and then say the same thing again repeating yourself and they will be confused, pissed, annoyed, or will just give up, it is so simple and effective.
but they can beat you then if they are pissed. Its kind of conflict. On one hand you want to piss them and annoy them because they did it to you. But if they can hurt you physically - you do not want that. How to deal with that?
@@Name-lt2tz i thinl this strategy is only use for youtube comment
this guy deserves more subs
Thankyou for this video,
I had realized this a while ago. It's nice to hear it in a video. I used to be quiet whenever someone said something offensive. I still do sometimes, but im learning to agree and amplify.
thanks IMPROVEMENT PILL for this awesome video i got insulted by other people but i never understood why i usually got insulted and people start making fun of me now i get it bcoz of my way of dealing it with by staying quiet thanks a lot man keep making this video
Oh god... please no more of the generic vlogger background music
yeah agree
use czech vibes... best on yt
AustrianKronos I gave this a dislike for no fucking reason oh my allah....
Yeah!
That was soooo good. Subscribed.
Same, this is the third video I saw and I am impressed by how interesting and easy to understand all your videos are
Improvement Pill hey man I have a question.I am usually the funny kid in each of my classes until one day there was just someone who beat me to it; now when ever I say something it doesn't even seem to be funny anymore because the other guy is the one making all the jokes and stealing my mojo.I feel like I can't be be the funny one when someone else is doing it better.Any tips on how I can make my jokes flow with his or top his?
Moses Chavarria 👍
Moses Chavarria make em your bff 😂👏
Great video, gave me a lot to think about. Indefinitely have stayed silent in the past and appeared as a pushover...not to mention having it bottle up inside me. Looking forward to practicing Agree & Amplify!
this video this channel is a gem I've found, thank you improvement pill, you've changed my life... I've become a stronger person bcoz of u... you're my virtual bestie ♥️♥️
Just ask gordon ramsay for insult ideas
Unique Bacon Hair Idiot sandwich is the best one
THIS BEEF IS SO RAW IT'S EATING THE SALAD
Good video, but you don't want to continously accept their frame when they keep on insults you. You also want to draw some boundaries if it continues.
If their main purpose in insulting you to piss you off and you keep undermining their comments like this video has taught they will stop insulting you. Easy! Agree and Amplify will always work.
Officially, my number 1 chanel on youtube. And i'm thinking, maybe even the best psychology chanel also.
this video literally speaks to how I am personally, especially option 2, i normally just tell people who insult me like "okay" or" think what you want", however what they say keep playing over and over in my head and makes me angry.
when someone insults me I just say: well, thanks like your opinion man.
Always gets them xD
Jacob Williamson Unfortunately when I say that, they try to “correct” me and say “No its not a opinion its a fact”. I tell them well it’s your opinion that your opinion is a fact, until they get confused and give up.
niw10pro just respond "yeah just like how bad your grammar is"
I don't agree with this video. Here, you are talking about jokes between (most of the time) friends. I am interested about how to react to someone who insults you in a way he disrespects you and whants a fight. Someone who challanges you. So not about jokes.
Tell him you are on a tight schedule:-P
Usually i just be sarcastic lol
Ignore or be sarcastic as he said^
DJDobrev you just need to understand sarcasm to agree
The best way to hit inside the one that offended u is using sarcasm that does not appear offending in the outside. But in tbe inside. It will make ur opponent looking like a fool of he reacts to much of it. And u can just say.. I didnt say that. U the one who thoughy about it hahaha
I used to stay quiet when people would insult me in their joking/ but not really joking way, and sometimes I would try to go along and make a joke, It's the worst thing to do, if someone insults you and its deliberate, let them know right away that it's rude and you don't appreciate it. Agreeing and playing it off or keeping quiet makes you a target for bullying.
My question how to respond when people go way below the belt with a comment? This seems to be the norm today? It's very childish, immature and disrespectful, it's ok laughing and joking with friends but let's say you have a dog, you have it from a pup and it passes away at a ripe old age, now this dog has been with you through thick and thin, the good the bad and some one outside your circle makes a wise crack? Like it's just a dog get over it? That's just one off the top of my head, I find this from the younger generations, ego, image, getting that last one in kind of attitude, now I'm not saying all are like this but in my line of work this is common place? Life can take some real shitty turns for some people and a below the belt comment when people are at a all time low is not needed? What's the best way to deal with such people?
Greg Rodgers Punch them in the face.
+Greg Rodgers By asking them questions that decode their behaviour and makes them self reflect. In your example with the dog you can ask:
"Why have you said that it is "just a dog?" " He/she might reply: "Because the lives of dogs don't matter so much"
"Why don't they matter so much?"
"Because they are less developed species than us" . . .
"So are you saying that a less developed being has lesser value than a more advanced one?"
"Yes"
"Why?"
"..."
If you keep asking these types of questions you will get to the truth why that person is doing what is doing; whether that person has a different belief system from you or whether that person is just plain mean.
Then you can decide for yourself if he/she has a point or not. If he has, you can acknowledge their right and shift your perspective, if you want to. If not, then he/she might self reflect and change point of view(if that person is not a fool). Either way, problem solved.
If you keep practising this strategy, you will reach a point where when people cross the line, you will immediately know the answer to their behaviour and don't even bother about it. It will be their problem, not yours.
Greguar12345 thanks for that really helpful insight how to deal with this kind of reply, really appreciate it
+Greguar12345 If you ask "Do lesser developped species deserve less rights?" and they answer "Yes", then just say: "In that case, you obviously don't warrant the right of my attention" and walk away.
End of story.
+anythingnew The same goes with me . .
dude i this is the first time i seen the video but i have been doing the 3rd option even before.
but sometimes when i do this other people would continue insulting me even more about the topic and as a result ill go to option 2.
I know a few channels like this and i must say, this is extremely useful, i really got to thank you
The way you respond to insults depends on the audience. If the audience is a friend then this video is perfect. if the audience is a stranger then a few other optimal options come to mind: asking "why do you think that?" and potentially showing vulnerability as you ask for feedback, or saying "bother someone else!", or making a game of it and sparring by saying "Yeah, I might catch up with you!".
People who are vulnerable get hurt more often, but they also are happier overall, and they are much more resilient to bad stuff happening.
Hi, I just watched your FORD video with Practical Psychology. I really like the way you animate your videos and wanted to say keep up the good work. Not subscribing for now (since most of your videos seem to be male-focused), but you've got some quality stuff.
okashi10 ...yes, nice animation.
Hey man firt awesome content and second could you do a video on how to trat emotion abuse or how to respond to en abuser?
Thanks man, I've never thought about it that way.
Ohhh my gawd mine is option 2 and it's so true n I'm glad he pointed that out
I assume many people watched this video because they are insecure about themselves, or they do not know how to deal with insults. Well, a good comeback should not just absorb whatever was said. That's a very shallow interpretation. A good comeback should be true, both to the situation, and to the context. In other words, do not just retort nonsense about the other person, because that makes you look like a fool. Furthermore, if you are going to insult another person, at least come up with a real insult, one that is actually true. That is how you truly insult another person. A good retort should be specially suited to the person and circumstance, so do not memorize rhetoric from an online website. It is not poetry class! Remember to be dynamic and knowledgable. A knowledgable is invincible when it comes to rhetoric. Read a lot of rhetoric and witticisms. And do not go around looking to engage in fights, just so you can practice some jargon.
Unless were just talking about cracks amongst friends... honestly this might be your worst video, if you respond like that it sends the message that your ok with it much more so than even the second option. Only use option 3 if you found the insult and the person saying it, so beneath you that you GENUINELY find it humorous.
bro thanks a lot ....I was going through the 2nd option but now im very confident ...thanks a lot
subscribed
Thanks,now I know how to respond to my judgemental family members and relatives.
If someone insults you, use your golden weapon:
No, u
you know the lessons are gonna be wise when they come from shikamaru
kevin gonzalez damnit man, that's what I was thinking
😅 right
I'm glad yotube recommend me this
finally something useful
Thanks bro ,you taught so much about my life in just 4 minutes.
Tysm
amplifying is hard.. i just say somethin stupid.. that makes me look more douchebag
John Proud but your comment is actually funny.😂
And then people start insulting you with the insult you said to yourself when someone insulted you.
Not cool...
Exactly!!
I guess it comes down to your ability to creatively come up with an alternative of what to say, based off your experience with conversations like that. Someone outgoing and always in a group talking will firstly be less likely to be the focus of an insult, and will also have experienced it happen to other people and know how it feels too. All these social experiences allow you to decide creatively about your response. Try and try again. If you say something stupid and get dropped on because of what you said to yourself make your answer a little less believable and try again next time it happens. Don't let this become a big concern every time you go out with friends
I knew a guy who would reply to a insult with something so fucked up you wouldn't know what to say
But I mean, fat is an easy example to laugh off.
Not that easy.....
THANK YOU SO MUCH , SO TRUE
Thank for the insight, great vid.
some people call me something which i am not ..how should i respond to them ....i try to ignore them but their words keep hurting me from inside ..what should i do
Freddy Brainy I did this, he responded with “ Yeah, he tells himself that” goes to show that that response doesn’t work all the time.
When you realize you've been doing option2 for most of your life
your right bro and thanks for video ,very helpfull.
Excellent. I really got a lot of this!!
I got a life but don't have a life so people can say what ever cause God put me here as a mistake
Trust me bro. You're not a mistake. You have some sort of purpose in this crazy life. I too have questioned why I'm here. It's a very difficult question to answer but if you find your purpose, you'll feel better.
what to do to earn everyone's respect?
So u mean to say that ur achievements make the real difference rather than ur personality
I love you so much thank you very much I needed this knowledge I have a horrible problem reacting to insults but this is real cool stuff thanks
TY for your examples.
What should ya say when someone says "so funny I forgot to laugh"
Agree and amplify
Option 4-Use the meme army and get them harambed
i would have sad that my mom cooks food very tasty thats why i am fat u as
@@shashankmall6077 does not sound like effective.
Yes I love this!
I use this all the time!!!! People love it ! It makes the conversation so much fun :D
I’ve noticed a lot of red pill teachings in his videos
Damn his voice is so sexy
man how should I insult someone in a rap please tell me brother.....
Improvement Pill thanks man
I would really appreciate if u analyse all techniques needed to rap and make a video
I gotta spit sick bars
hit them really hard
as hard as a fart
bombard ....haha lol
Sarbjit Singh hey thats pretty good
Nikola Kraev o thanks hahhaaa where u from buddy
Sarbjit Singh im from Bulgaria,and you?
Oh my God.This vedeo changed my life.Thank you.
you're the best man. thanks !!!!!!
thank you, great video.
And another great video!!!! Keep it up bro!
HEY i love your vids your so genuine and so much true
Silence has been working great so far for me.
now i open my eyes, and new ways to improve my social skills.
Thank you very much for this video❤
I used to be Option A. Later on, I was option B. But thanx to this vid, I will try my best to be option C, to do whatever it takes to not get offended by whenever my friends insult me. Thank U once again.✌
I have been called a nerd or Weaboo or much worse thing but I have been subconsciously doing this to everyone for the last few years, and I don’t have any majors issues or depression because if you do this then you come off as a better person to both the Bully and the people watching. Then you can meet people because they think that your funny. This technique really increases your strength as a person in all ways.
You can also agree/disagree and call out their rudeness in a calm way, that always puts people back on their heels
Thanks,u inspired me a lot
Hi bro because of u I am able to handle insults without taking psychological pain
Thank you so much 😊😊😊😊
We need more videos like this !!!!
Dear Improvement Pill,
I'd like to ask you to make a video to my following questions :
- What to do to not to be racially abused or commented on?
- How to stay awake to focus on studying for examples?
- How to gain youtube videos views?
- What's the best way to study?
Thanks in advance.
Your videos are so intellectually helpful!!!
this video is so helpful, i loved how you easily made understand the topic
thank you soo much this helped a lot!!!
Thank you very much. . This one really helped me.
With me it's quite different but mixed with option 3. If someone really wants to insult me I usually stay calm and kind of say nothing and start laughing. This leaves them confused and all parties see them as the ones who take things to personally.