An introvert's guide to social freedom | Kaspars Breidaks | TEDxRiga
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- čas přidán 2. 10. 2019
- Being social for a shy person is difficult already, let alone in a cold, Northern capital city wrought by a past of social mistrust under communist rule. With all the cards stacked against him, Kaspars Breidaks managed to break through the social barriers by following a set of five principles he put together himself. Highly influenced by his experience with improv, following these principles will lead to a kinder environment to live in, and certainly a good laugh every now and then. People who know Kaspars call him half-man, half-amazing. Kaspars seems to be made of pure positivity, charisma, enthusiasm, and humor. Kaspars is all in one: a radio show host, an actor, a co-founder of the Spiediens improvisation theatre, Improv Comedy Riga, and is a proud member of the "Ohana" European improvisation theater project that brings together 50 experienced improvisers from different cultures, countries, and backgrounds.
After performing at Chicago's The Second City Theater, known as the most influential comedy theater in the world, Kaspars returned to Latvia. Kaspars has represented Latvia in various international improvisation shows and at festivals in Portugal, Spain, France, Germany, Denmark, Finland, and Estonia. He is now on a mission to spread the art of improvisation in his own country. For Kaspars, life is theater and he always plays his best. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
"It's not about you"
As an overthinking introvert this is the best but also the hardest advice someone has ever told me
this set me free xo
1. Say yes to what you feel and think
2. Be vulnerable
3. Don’t try to be interesting, be interested/curious
4. If you want to be appreciated, appreciate others (thank others as often as you can)
5. It’s not about you, don’t take it personally.
Thanks for the advice buff shrek
thx shrek, also nice pectoral muscles
Thanks for the spark notes, hakuna matata
Thanks shreky
thanks for posting
Shyness and introversion are two different things. You can be an introvert and not be shy.
FACTS!!
And you can be a shy extrovert.
But they often go together.
@@dielicagold Not always and maybe it's less obvious if the introvert is outgoing.
@@Jo_Bond Doesn't 'often go together' imply not always? You're right, of course
Tips to train your small talk muscle - without small talk, there is not big talk 9:01
1. Say yes to what you feel or think (9:07)
- for anything to happen, we must accept each other’s ideas
2. We are not machines; it’s okay to be vulnerable (11:17)
- in trying to protect from the bad, walls also keep out the good
3. Stop trying to be interesting and be interesting (12:00)
- make whatever you say worth it by being genuine
4. If you want to be appreciated, appreciate others (12:56)
- cherish time and what you create; don’t go an hour without thanking someone
5. It’s not about you (15:34)
- if it doesn’t go how you planned, it more than likely has nothing to do with you; they may have something going on
👍🤩🎉 thank you
Thanks
I started my CZcams Channel for Introverts and those dealing with Anxiety because as an introvert I believe we need more people talking about introversion and anxiety in order to bring awareness and a sense of normalcy.
Well, I'm on the way to your channel !
amazing good for you thandeka
So true, Awesome! Ill be checking your channel out sis :)
The things he talked about have helped me immensely with my shyness as well. I especially try to remember that "it isn't about me" and to not dwell too much on when things don't work out.
It is such a pain to be an introvert and an HSP to interact with people who do not understand you. Worst is when people ask you personal questions and force you to socialize.
And the constant nagging in your brain about what people are thinking.
You should check the Myers Briggs personality test to see if you are indeed an INFJ the rarest personality in the world. Usually INFJ' are highly sensitive and introverted.
No you see, the worst is when you want them to ask personal questions but they don't care and you're too polite to blurt it out 😭
What is HSP? ( Hello from 2022) : )
@@David98004 that isn't an accurate test :o..O
I recently signed up for my first improv class after going to my first show and hanging out with the improv crew. As a heavily introverted person, I imagine this will be transformative... o_o
Congrats, have fun, and don't be too hard on yourself!
Good luck 🤗
Hey, how it's going?
Any goods result yet?
Update?
"we protect ourselves from the good" that one hit me. all the missed opportunities and relationships i bypassed makes me sad.
I congratulate you on facing your shyness. I'm glad you said what you did. I still have a ways to go to face mine. I like that you said, I don't do it to change the world, but I do it for me. I needed to hear that.
Verdade precisamos fazer por nos mesmos ... Eu tambem ja fui muito , ai resolvi gradativamente mudar isso. Não sou uma pessoa que virou a ser uma contadora de piada mais me transformei numa pessoa que não se preocupa tanto com o julgamento dos outros...
Thanks Kaspars, let's keep shining instead of living in shyness ☀️
I've made the experience that the most people can't be too long with us introverts because they can't handle the silence and get nervous very quickly. Everytime when I've sat in the coffee shop and people came to my desk they got nervous and left.
I really loved this!! You don't have an idea about how much I've been struggling with shyness, this was actully life-changing, this a new beginning in my life and thanks for this video!
Great talk!
Lessons in improv helped lift me out of my shyness. It was so much fun that I found myself laughing in ways that gave me confidence to let go, take chances and ty new things. Since. Since then, I no longer fear talking to strangers, and the lessons I learned about having fun have changed my life.
I love how this is getting recommended to us all during quarantine lmao
I love this!! Brings so much clarity to my introverted shy quiet personality.
I really enjoyed this. Quite funny! And great message that I'm sure a lot of us relate to. Pulls me out of my head a little bit and puts things into perspective.
Great talk. Living alone is very difficult sometimes. Connection may help create meaning in life.
exacluy!
This line to be grateful for the time and space we have.
"Give your best and dont expect the same".
I really loved your talk
thank you very much
Amazing, thank you...... from today i promise myself to share my powerful positive energy with the rest of the world
Great talk. Thank you very much Kaspars.
As an introvert from Lithuania I strongly relate to this talk lol
I enjoyed it a lot!
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences and all those valuable tips. The way you presented them was funny and charming, which helps when dealing with such a challenging topic.
This is the best Ted talk ever...and i love this guy
Most excellent thank you I needed this video very much.Introverts indeed suffer and it is a problem.Not YET so much better than NO not at all.Genius video man incredible.
This is really Excellent speech i,v ever heard i can relate in every experience he share.Peoples who are suffering with Avoident personality disorder and social anxiety can use these tips to come out of their comfort zone and enjoy their lives with meeting new peoples.
This is wholesome! Thanks for sharing thiss!!
Thank you for this speech.
this was very helpful thank so much. I'm an extreme introvert and this vidéo motivated me to write this
Wow! Such a wholesome talk.I'm blessed 😍🤩😇😇
Paldies for the great tips, Kaspars! I just came back from a trip in your beautiful country and I must say that Latvians are among the unfriendliest nations I've met. Must be hard to grow up as a shy person/introvert in a country where people don't even say hi to a shop clerk and where the smiling rate approximates 0.5%.
*Anybody else think he looks like Chris Pratt if you squished his head down a little???*
Great talk though! As an introvert and also sometimes a shy one, when I'm alone I'm the most outgoing, friendly and charming person in my head, but then in real social situations all my eagerness goes out the window.
Great insights here, Kaspars. Thank You.
Im doing Improv too, its great to improve social skills. I loved this talk, thank you Kaspar!
That elevator part gave me 2020 anxiety.
Brilliant, thank you.
"Each person is an island unto himself, in a very real sense; and he can only build bridges to other islands if he is first of all willing to be himself and permitted to be himself" - Carl Rogers
Shyness and introvert goes hand in hand. Not sure why people making such a distinction between two
Actually yes, shyness makes you an introvert "de facto" because you're more confortable being alone when you're shy
Not really. Introversion is just the way you get your energy. Introverts get drained from being around people. Shyness is about not being confident in yourself or to overly concerned with how other people will react.
No. Introversion describes how you react to stimuli, like meeting new people, talking in front of an audience etc. It is also closely linked to reactiveness and risk aversion. Depending on your response to certain neurotransmitters, you are introverted or extraverted (or a mixture).
Shyness is more closely linked to fears, like being rejected or embarrassing yourself.
@@Noah-zr7zd hmm interesting take on that, make sense
@@superswag3252 find that most shy people are extraverted because they have the desire to talk to people but just can't
That really made me think about my perspective when it comes to interacting with folk I don't know. I'd prefer not to but he makes it sound like it just might be ok.
great talk men it was so useful thank you and to ted that bring people like you. ♥️
Thank you!
Great talk!
i was a shy introvert. but i have improved a lot by the time i got in high school, and rn im already in the uni. And we re always told to create wider relations, so bcs the uni it's like a new start for me, i feel like i have to really step out and brace my self up. I always talk to ppl first, i want to make a good impression with new friends i meet in the uni. but im still me, even though i dont have any problem with startin the conversation, or meeting strangers, at some time i will be quiet so much and then my friends would ask me if im being okay. In fact, i dont really have a problem with performing my self in fron tof the ppl too (although sometimes the shyness feeling and anxious are still there, but i can manage it way better). The problem is that i feel so lazy now. i don tknow why, but everytime i'm going to talk to the ppl or performing my self there, i feel so sleepy and lazy in all of a sudden. anyone experiences the sam ething like this?
Me😂
Excellent!!
Quite a storyteller he is!
Fantastic!
I watched it at 1.5x and didn't realize till half of the video was over.
Thank u so much for this video. Really was interesting and helped me
Great thalks ❤
I will start to day doing theart to fighting my shyness .
I Will go to talke with each person without thinking so match because we can learn from everyone.
I can relate to a lot of the experiences. This is really great!
Mmm
It's possible to get rid of Shyness. Just need to put some extra efforts. Thanks for this amazing talk!
Thank you.... Man❤️❤️
Muchas gracias pa estas informaciones
Thánk you!!!!
This was such a good speech❤️🥰
Thankyou
this was very wise and the tips like how to not take it persoanly as its NOT ABOUT US is something i need to improv and download to ma brainn!
It's not about you 💯💯💯 Love it
I love the fact that the video guide for introverts begins with an explosion of loud, jarring music and bright, flashing lights.
The speaker may well understand us, but the video editor perhaps somewhat less so.
9:38 10:04 11:14 11:59
12:57 15:30
Nice
He’s hilarious. I mean, this is informative too but I love the comedy lol
nice dp lol
"Imagine you're at a party..." why? I never go to parties
Ikr people always want to imagine a party situation, like man I got other things to do.
omaga LOOOOOOOVE DIS
❤️
Labs! :)
You're a really beautiful person
This is about shyness, not introversion.
In most cases, it occurs together. The biggest problem an introvert has is lack of social skills. I am an introvert and shy person.
@@Trade1001 they're two different things. whether they can go together isn't the basis for whether they are different or not
Hit home.
tooth and back pain combined with a bullet in the shoulder…
sounds like a scandinavian noir…
from one shy monkey to another… kudos
Nice intro
Vdo starts at 8:45
My grandma still advises me not to talk to strangers…perhaps this is why, at 26 I’m still afraid to talk to people I don’t know.
Title is misleading. This is about shyness, not introversion.
ehh, introversion is a misleading label. Having your energy drained by social interaction is probably caused by fear. Shyness, fear, introversion, social anxiety are all interconnected. Our "over-civilized" mind just slaps a label on the problem and assumes that's just the way things are.
@@danylooo You can be an introvert and talk like that man there with all the confidence and you would say it's not a shy person but an introvert one it could be, then what? It just happens introvert people often are also shy because of low social skills. But you can be very confident in social-interactions and be introverted at the same time. Don't talk about something you probably haven't experienced.
@@marcnietocachinero if youre confident/comfortable in social interactions, why would you still feel drained by conversation (ain't this the hallmark of being introverted?)
Of course there are those heavy conversations that will drain anybody but introverts are supposed to be have their energy drained by all interactions?
@@danylooo I am super confident and comfortable in conversation with friends and even interesting strangers. I got labled an extrovert recently by a shy person. I was surprised, I came across as extroverted because I really really am extremely introverted. I am exhausted and tired after a few hours of great interaction with friends. Give me an hour alone in the woods or at home to recharge and I can keep going a bit longer that day, but the actual interaction times between needs for alone-time get shorter and shorter until I've had some more time to be on my own again.
@@danylooo fear isn't the only draining thing in the world
9:44, 20:50
Phitography good idea,invisible en paeties unico, habla buena idea -teatro improv - "no se trata de vos" - shy != int -
1. Say yes to what you say and feel, pruoritize yourself
2. Ok vulnerable [actual insecurity tho]
3. Interested > interesting
4.appreciate to be appreciated
5. Its not about you
Eventually yes stranger
Thought thumb nail was Chris Pratt
I hate the title of this video. Introversion does not always equal shyness. I'm an introvert - I am NOT shy and am often one of the first to speak up in various situations. I thought this video was going to be about how to navigate a world that expects you to be sociable when you don't WANT to be, not when you want to be but are afraid
People are strange when your a stranger
17:46 🌈
This speach is taken from "How to win friends and influence people"😘
I needed a camera
Introvert can instruct be creative mindful but when teaching engaging that is a different ball game. So standing there speaking is really not tooth ache
Here too early
0:34 uh oh stinky
I’m so unlucky I’m a introvert and 6’3 I grew my dreads to get the attention off me
Is Chris Pratt a shy guy? I didn't know.
This confuses introversion with social anxiety
You mean you talk to people in person using mouth-words??? How quaint.
Introvert ✋✋
Me too with high level of shyness
Ir par ko padomát
U r shy not introvert 🙁🙁🙁
He looks like rahul Gandhi 😂😂🇮🇳🇮🇳
..
Brazil!
hello
.?
??
He is certainly not an introvert now 😅
BORING
TED talks have really gone down hill. These aren't exactly ideas that are changing the world.
❤️