Stop Trying To Heal Other People Before You've Healed Yourself - Inner Work Library [159/500]
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- čas přidán 4. 07. 2024
- Stop trying to fix other people before you've fixed yourself - this is the central principle for teachers, therapists and coaches who are looking to help others heal trauma and live better lives. In this video I'll share seven psychology books and therapist books to help you become a better helper if you've devoted your life to helping others... while likewise avoiding some of the most common healing bypasses which affect professional helpers.
Don't miss out on this goldmine: buy the books.
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COURSE: Join me inside The Library:
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⏱️ TIMESTAMPS ⏱️
00:00 You Are The Biggest Pillar
01:42 1. Mommy Issues & Daddy Issues
06:29 2. Dating Issues & Intimacy Wounds
11:18 3. Money Trauma
14:55 4. Addiction & Sobriety
17:30 5. God, Faith & Spirituality
20:53 6. Childhood Trauma
25:04 Read These 7 Psychology Books
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Topics explored: trauma therapy; how to heal from trauma; childhood trauma; cptsd; trauma psychology; trauma; how to heal yourself; self healing; healing yourself; stop trying to fix others; stop trying to fix people; stop trying to heal others; stop trying to heal other people; heal yourself first; how to heal yourself first; how to heal yourself before healing others; heal yourself before healing others; help yourself before helping others; healing books; therapist books; books for therapists; books for coaches;
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📸 - Follow me on Instagram: / thorntontheory
DM me for 1:1 consultations & private mentoring.
#selfhealing #innerwork #shadowwork
*1-1 Mentorship Information: Price & Structure (Maximum Capacity = 20 Clients Per Year)*
It's an absolute pleasure to film these CZcams videos, and I feel fortunate to receive an abundance of meaningful messages every week, but I am unfortunately faced with the disappointing reality of turning away the vast majority of people who want to work together.
I have significantly limited availability and can only support twenty people per year because I do not offer one-off calls or drop-in consulting sessions.
Twenty individuals might not sound like maximum capacity, but the last few years of teaching have taught me the importance of maintaining tight energetic boundaries if I want to keep uploading these free videos in addition to serving my current clients to the best of my ability in 2024.
To minimise confusion and enhance transparency, I've spent several hours writing this ridiculously long comment to help you decide if my Inner Work Mentorship is the right choice for your development & what you could reasonably expect from working closely together.
Please take the time to read this service description before contacting me on Instagram… or feel free to stop reading right now if you’re not interested in my fees, session structure, client expectations, etc.
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*READ BEFORE SCROLLING FURTHER:*
I'm interested in long-term change and structural transformation, which is why I've never offered one-off sessions.
Complex issues cannot be resolved in a few hours, but we likewise need to define an upper limit for containment and collaboration.
I've learned that deep and enduring self-integration requires at least four months of immersive effort. Why four months? It's enough weekly contact for us to work through multiple complex issues and developmental possibilities, but short enough to mitigate against unconscious co-dependency and motivational stagnation.
I'm currently accepting a maximum of two new clients per month - message me after reading the following section to check my availability.
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*HOW I WORK & WHO I WORK WITH*
Unlike other coaches and teachers who take an understandably more relaxed approach to healing and integration, my mentorships are characteristically intense.
This is a highly-demanding, high-investment process which requires our consistent combined effort over a period of four months.
If we were to start working together, I would reasonably expect you to be excited to show up for a minimum of 10+ hours of self-motivated transformative practice per week (daily reading, fitness routine, creative exercises, spiritual reflection, etc.) while also maintaining full-sobriety (no drink, no drugs, no cigarettes, no vapes).
These strict standards of discipline and sobriety are plainly unsuitable for most people in most situations - even genuinely motivated individuals who resonate with my CZcams videos may not be the right match for four months of structured mentorship.
If you want to get deeper, I've noticed that there's a certain type of ‘temperament' & 'timing’ to get the most out of me.
I'm interested in alert, creative and purpose-driven individuals who aspire to exceptional standards of self-maturation and would enjoy the feeling of going through week-on-week of progressively stacked transformative experiences for a third of a year: my ideal client is somebody who is willing to bring forward their internal complexity with a sense of courage and transparency with the intention of nothing less than full-spectrum transformation & rapid acceleration on their personal path.
I am yet to discover another supportive figure who offers something comparable to this mentorship: a four-month, structured yet flexible 1-1 container which is simultaneously therapeutic, academic and action-oriented; with primary focus placed on tangible improvements in your felt sense of self-knowledge and self-integration; in addition to making consistent and meaningful progress towards your unique goals and mentorship aspirations.
I prioritise contact, compassion and accountability, which means that your work never really 'ends' at the end of your session. You can reasonably expect to be fed dozens of customised reading suggestions and follow-on perspectives outside of the formal sessions via friendly and informal messenger contact, where I am active and available four days per week to cultivate an intimate personal connection while likewise enhancing your positive momentum via accountability check-ins and additional support as required.
By way of conclusion for what feels like an extraordinarily long comment and service description, I feel compelled to once more emphasise that working directly with me is unrealistic for most people in most situations.
I often support people who are accustomed to wrestling with the emotional challenges associated with working through complex wounds in previous therapeutic relationships before we begin our coaching work together. Even individuals without 'hard trauma' can expect moments of pressurised darkness and heaviness during periods of shadow contact as you begin to restructure your personal unconscious. We will be exploring your psyche and soma at scale and depth, and it will be your responsibility to keep me informed about the emotional texture of your internal reality, especially if you encounter negatively charged experiences, and I will of course do everything in my power to support you through the hard times as we integrate the darkness and move forwards together.
CZcams is a wonderful place for me to share free research resources and offer accessible inner work invitations; my private mentorships, however, are the place for collaborative partnership and emotional security as we identify, navigate and restructure oftentimes confronting and challenging conscious and unconscious physical, emotional and mental material.
Ultimately, this is a highly-demanding but highly-rewarding process which requires the best of our shared intentions.
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*SESSION STRUCTURE & FEES:*
The total fee for an Inner Work Mentorship (including 12 x 2 hr sessions) is £7,400 GBP or approximately $9,400 USD. This is my only coaching programme, and my mentorship pricing is liable to adjustment over time.
Each private session lasts two hours, and is facilitated via Telegram video call at an ideal time for both of us. Your mentorship extends over a linear four-month period, with a total of twenty-four hours of structured session time, in addition to four days per week of unlimited messenger availability for accountability updates, voice note exchanges and informal calls upon occasion. I do not work on Mondays, Tuesdays or Wednesdays, but I am fully-available across all timezones for regular calls and messenger contact on Thursday - Sunday.
If you’ve scrolled this far, and resonate with what I’m offering, I invite you to message me on Instagram. It would be my pleasure to start exploring your goals and intentions in real-time.
IMPORTANT: I am an intentionally independent coach, and not a licensed therapist or associated with any professional bodies or coaching institutions, and therefore enjoy the freedom to collaborate with my clients across all areas of life in an intimate, direct and highly involved coaching style. I work with no more than twenty people per year, and am currently accepting a maximum of two new clients per month. I also manage my own inbox and do not use automated systems or employ people to pretend to be me on Instagram, which means that it usually takes four to six weeks for me to respond to new messages and begin the interview process. Although my approach takes time, I hope you ultimately appreciate my personal emphasis on authentic and confidential communication from the very beginning of our relationship. I once again encourage you to message me immediately if you want to start working together within the next two months - bump yourself to the top of my inbox, and I’ll send you some voice notes to get our conversation started.
Not a therapist, but interested in self improvement. Enjoyed this video. Thanks.
Great to meet a true human.
Another excellent insights! Thanks for this video, Jordan 🙏 So many reflection points I can do for my own life (and work)... And yes, agree on money trauma, that topic deserves a video on its own 😊
💯 Helping is trying to fill a void.
The Axiom is.
"The most helpful you can ever be to another is by accepting help yourself first."
I was expecting to watch this and come out the other side questioning everything about my career, but I was pleasantly surprised 😂 thank you, enlightening video! Definitely not 90% healed in all areas but the direction and progress is there.
Hey Jordan Thornton, I've been watching your videos lately and learning more about Carl Jung. This has led to a kind of awakening for me - I've realized that I am a lesbian. Now, I no longer see relationships with men as significant. Who cares about boys? I've completely disregarded all my past relationships with men as if they never even existed. It's worth noting that I do harbor some resentment toward both of my parents, similar to what Carl Jung mentioned regarding female homosexuality. I tried Jungian dream analysis, which hinted at a shift in perspective, but I wasn't prepared for this realization. Could you create a video on this topic? I'd really appreciate it. Have you experienced something similar, has anyone ???
PS: And a relationship with a women makes sense now for some reason .
😅😅😅
Excellent video. This needs to be talked about more. Please make an entire video about the point about financial healing in this context 🙏
This hits hard , the answer to my question that I was waiting for . Feels heavy .
Thank you, Jordan!
Amazing video. Thanks!
🎉
This isn't really related to the video but I wanna know if bioenergetics is short term relief/cope or does it work permanently? The book says the exercises won't resolve deep emotional problems, but that they might bring them up into awareness. So it follows that identifying, experiencing, working through, letting go of those emotions will relieve you of other psychological symptoms, right?
I haven't been. They've been forcing me against my consent.