5 Psychological Tricks To READ ANYONE! | Evy Poumpouras & Chris Voss
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- čas přidán 15. 05. 2024
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0:00 - Intro
0:29 - How To Get The Truth Out Of Anyone
0:18:58 - Use This Formula To Read Someone
0:43:52 - How To Persuade Anyone
1:14:52 - The Steps To Being Influential
1:40:54 - How To Master Any Negotiation
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Nh
It’s interesting that very animated people are more honest than stoic people. Makes sense now.
Ohhhh
Yes agree, enjoying the wild hawkweed (Fox & Cubs) that are growing in my garden and also enjoy watching and listening to all the birds.
That's exactly what the other Lewis Howes told me!!!!!
" Never accept criticism from anyone you wouldn't want to trade places with ". That's great .😊
Yes!!! 💪💝🎶💃🎶🕺🎶💓
💖🙏💞
True
From the compound effect great book
"Don't take advice from anyone who isn't in a position you want to be in." - Wes Watson.
That's BS. Want to "trade places" is sometimes subjective.
My Brother taught me this many years ago. He had a gift for reading people within minutes of meeting them. He was 99.9% accurate most always. He loved to study human nature and knew what people would say before they said it. He was amazing . Mind blowing intuition.
Your brother had discernment; nothing paranormal about it, highly tuned skill that comes naturally to some, including myself; I'm a psychologist, it serves me well in my profession.
Discernment is what king Solomon had
I know you must be a busy person, could you teach me
He hasn’t met me yet. 😊
@@itsmidtrib1569 and Tom Sawyer?
My father was a polygraph examiner for the USAF. He says all the time that people do not beat polygraphs, they beat the examiners. I learned to ask questions of people in multiple ways to gauge their responses. Never thought about how my ability to detect lies is probably connected to having a dad who did it for a living. Lol Great episode.
Respect
You had a tough upbringing
There is a danger in reducing all communications to "Lies" and "Truth". The vast majority of the time neither concept is even involved in day to day communication.
I always think about the question being asked of me. There are words that have nuanced meanings (that's just in the dictionary definition). Above and beyond that people have "unofficial" meanings of some words in their head. Everyone speaks from their subculture. Therefore, if I am asked "the same" question again in a conversation I think, "I must have misinterpreted the initial question. Right? Because why else would you ask again if you had gotten the answer you were looking for? What else can they be asking? Then when I reframe the question from a different vantage point... Well that's a totally different question with a different answer. Then of course there is the external context that has to be considered. Only in text messages are words used in a vacuum. Which has caused a lot of issues with younger generations who communicate predominantly in text messages but that's a whole new tangent.
Let's say you walk up to me during my grandfather's funeral and say, "How you doin'?" I noticed you didn't use the word "are" but I assume you are inquiring about how I am coping emotionally with the death of my grandfather. However, those are not the actual words that you used. So I answer what i think your question is. Based on my interpretation of the question, the environment and my own internal state of mind.
Then you look confused and say, "No, how YOU doin'?!" (Like Chandler from friends). Now I'm confused. Are you hitting on me at my grandfather's funeral?!
Communication is more than playing around with words to discern if people are lying or telling the truth. Another example is. I run into a friend that I haven't seen in years. I say, "Hey there! I haven't seen you in forever! You look great!" Meanwhile I am thinking, "She lost a lot of weight and still dresses like a nun! That color is TOTALLY wrong for her complexion and I see she hasn't ditched her obnoxious husband yet either." I could say that but it will only hurt her feelings because (my thoughts) are just judgments and opinions. They are concentric to me. There is no hard and fast "truth" or "lie" in anything I thought... As the Jeffrey Lebowski put it (in The Big Lebowski), "Yeah, well, that's just, like, your opinion, man."
No offense, but you would annoy me asking the same question 15 different ways. I would feel you THINK I am lying and any chance of Relationship Building would be ruined.
Nowadays people can't beat an MRI no matter who the examiner is.
@@sostew7518 sounds like a PPI test.
Deception is a frequency. People that can decipher this energy are natural leaders. Everything consists of these subtle frequencies.
They are discerners.
“If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything.” Mark Twain
I don't agree with Mark Twain. Even the truth is often forgotten with time and age, during the process of recollection.
@@van182 So? Is that reason enough to go through life making up lies & speaking garbage? That's not productive, or a life worth living & would exclude any meaningful relationships.
But I also think I know what you are getting at. Our recollections can be, & are often faulty.
When I remember things out of the blue, often I see insights that hadn't occurred to be at the time.
I had a TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury) so I won't remember the lie...
@@cherylanderson3340 he didnt say that. He just said you forget the truth so the quote is wrong.
If you want to know where your wife wants to eat, all you have to say is : "guess where we are going to eat?..." 😆
🤣🤣🤣
Clever!
What if she answers by saying ‘where?’
Very clever! B
Haha. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻😜
Love Evy!! She helped me stay out of a toxic marriage! And your content has helped me rebuild. Big thanks to you both!! 🙏
My favorite part of this interview is when she suggests the best way to increase self-confidence is to go out there and take risks, knowing you will fail.
This feels counterproductive, but it makes perfect sense.
Thank you for this reminder. I have felt stuck, and this is exactly what I needed to hear. COVID gave me an excuse to get too comfortable and I’ve struggled to get back out of my comfort zone. I think I just need to get out there and feel a bit stupidly socially awkward!😂
You've got this!
i think it's to force-teach yourself that you will survive minor failures. when you get bopped in the nose (figuratively speaking) once or twice, it starts to hurt less
"take risks, knowing you will fail. This feels counterproductive, but it makes perfect sense. "
best to you breaking out of covid isolation comfort zone!
Don't expect to fail, try not to fail. Try for success, but if you try and fail, that's OK too. Get out there and try again at something.
Yes because if you are strong to failure you will also be strong to success.
Hi,
I hope this message finds you well, healthy, and most importantly ... Happy!!!
I honestly feel at this point in my life, if I'm not failing at things as much as I'm succeeding, I'm not at my best potential. It doesn't ever suck any less for me personally than it did 45 years ago, when my first business at 6 yrs old selling fishing bait that I harvested on my own failed. Even then though, I knew I did as much as I could have, and realized "I" didn't fail, the business did. And when you think realistically as opposed to a reality people want it to be. Failures are the BEST training grounds for creativity and teachers for success, at least iin my humble opinion ... as long as you don't go on tilt or self sabotage. You really NEED them in your plan. Unmitigated success breeds complacency, and is honestly boring AF, and makes ya, at times even worse off. For all intents and purposes, I gave away a >10M/yr Gross business so I didn't go batshit, but it was safe and ownership net was only at 1% 100k but took 100% of me, so I did the nutty thing and after a few more failures, some more stuff started working. If it hadn't been for all the times I got kicked in the teeth, I wouldn't be doing what I am now which gives any time I want with my kids, and raising them in peace is the ONLY thing I really wanted. Plus it's pretty Dope when someone being nosy about your bank acct and trying to disguise it with interest in you asks as MOST do, "What do you do?" and I can respond, "Anything I want". Those times when I was "livin in a Van down by the River" were just as important in that. For me I was smiling on either end of that spectrum, but obviously I'm a freakin' weirdo. I sincerely hope that in some small way this might help you keep your "roll" going while you're finding your groove, and/or not be a big dummy like me 😉
Much love!!! ✌
ϻя.ƹ
Happy to hear someone who has relevant experience confirming what I tried teaching my brothers about reading people to catch lies. Gotta understand who a person is, who they are as a person, more than just reading mannerisms to understand their honesty.
U are a great listener
I see you consistently writing in most of your podcasts. It's amazing watching her body language keep you in. It really adds an additional element to communication when it's as natural as she's made it.
I usually don't immediatly notice when people lie to me, but I'll notice a few wekks later xD. I've got a very good memory for details and liers talk a lot, they'll always tell the same story again but don't remember what exactly they said last time. It's kind of hilarious how many "wait... didn't you say that" moments I had this year allone.
They tell the truth and then I remember I thought you told me you quit not got fired lol. All these going on in my own head, but I NOTE it down.
*Every family has a person who breaks the chain of poverty. I hope you will be that person!!*
It's not always about provision it's more about connecting n grounding n being self aware
Yes I have ✨
I will, and with it I'll help so many people who need help 🙏🙏🌠🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋❤️💛🧡🔥🔥🕊️🕊️🔥🌟🌟🌟🙏🙏🙏
Not all families.People have a problem by predicting by using their own experiences ...Don't !
Yesssss I will 😍😎🙌🏾💯
People also change direction in a tough conversations as avoidance. They want you to be focused where they want you. Much like a magician.
Finding other ways to say No is great but there is no obligation to do so. I work so hard to build my boundaries and courage to say No, so my No is a way to respect my boundaries and others should be understanding. Taking things personally is a sign of lack of maturity. People will say No it is part of life, it is individual responsibility to learn best way to handle rejection.
She has an intellectual, mature charm about herself. Real classy, I love it
A yet over the top make-up... hiding behind a caked mask.
@@brianmyers2010 “caked mask” yet she’s probably more honest than u will ever be🤷🏽♀️
It’s just make up bro lol she’s not hurting anyone by wearing it
😂@@brianmyers2010
Lewis you’re amazing at conducting interviews! You’ve got such a gracious curiosity and I absolutely love the people you have on. Please don’t leave us 😭 #keepdoingwhaturdoing
Truly appreciate that Danelle! Thank you! 🙏😇
Agree 👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾
I hope that you are not leaving !
What is all that about and if you are where can we follow you ?
I fully agree. And I wonder, does lewis know before-hand all the questions he asks? Or are some out of the blue?
This comes to mind. Let your yes be yes and your no be no. Nobody got time to sweeten up a simple response ,explaining things or preserving relationships. If someone is so fragile that they collapse at a no or a plain and direct response,they need healing lol. Getting into people pleasing is a slippery slope trying to preserve everyones feelings and trying to always be agreeable. It takes away our individuality when we have to walk on eggshells or evade directness.
We ..I know I have at least..have suffered a great deal saying other things besides what I mean..also you can get into a weird mental space and identity crisis and compromise---when I indirectly say no, because I'm so nice and sweet,people think the doors are open for negotiations, and eventually I'm guilted,or swayed into doing something I didnt want to do because my NO was severely misinterpreted.
We can not care so much about what others think and feel that we contort to their needs or what we perceive they need rather than out own character,and personality and needs.
It's okay to say no and not provide an excuse. Not feel guilty and nor ask how people feel about our no. Anything besides a clear yes or no may lead to confusion and again someone being mislead.
Have you ever read the Cloud And Townsend book “Safe People”
One of my favs
Most of what you described are liberals who have a mental disorder.
In France, I think most of french are saying "No" properly. Though we might try to sweeten it afterwards like "No I'm tired just thinking about it" if anyone ask us to do something that we don't wanna do. If it's described as sweet lol.
saying a half ass no is what causes issues, your no should be unmovable, it's just an art to present that no to someone where they understand tht u don't hv any ill intention.. it's jst that this doesn't work fr u at all. let me tell u something, if you say a straight NO to someone and even if they pretend that it didn't bother them at all, if they get a chance they will hurt u sooner or later, consciously or unconsciously. It's basic human nature. Have a Nice Day.
Agree, I never said no, but now I have a sentence, no, not today...or no, not able to, no, in constant pains, doing stay home day...
When I I did resistance to interrogation training we were given instructions to counter questioning by acting as if we were telling the truth, or vice versa, but without any consistency. Essentially, attempting to break up any patterns in response, by both our speed of reply and the intensity or lack of it.
In Brazil, no one ever says no to anything as an direct answer, we always say it in another non offensive or indirect way not to hurt people's feelings, like "perhaps, I will think about it", "Maybe, I will check my schedule, then I tell you later", "not exactly..."
Anyway, it is so cultural here that it can be a problem for foreign people to understand if we say yes or no.
Lewis, Great Interview!!!!! Food for the Compassionate Soul, this holiday season. There's a reason why I've been tuning into your channel lately. We (empaths) are now able to broadcast positive vibrations, to help change the VIBE... Experience is the best teacher and these testimonies keep getting better!!!! Thank you, and your guests! Happy Holidays :)
I like Evy so much,
I always enjoy watching her, I learned something new about myself watching this one, he is a great interviewer as well.
I wanted to read a book by this lady and lo and behold I found one!! How to Become Bulletproof with Evy Poumpouras
Wow, this was excellent! I intended to listen in chunks, but ended up listening to the entire thing all at once. I appreciate the raw, honest conversation. It felt real. We need more interviews like this.
Amazing! Thank you so much!
This is what I do not understand about people that have affairs because it is so much work just to feel another person's touch and if you're that unhappy just leave
Lewis always brings on legitimate geniuses.
Sure seems that way. Enjoy his style of interviewing as well. More on the positive and curious side which is refreshing.
Thanks
@Lewis… I truly enjoy all your interviews. You bring in such amazing guests and always ask the right questions. ❤️
Appreciate you! 🙏
"When we don't have that ability to think 'how did I deliver this?'" - Absolutely love this line.
i love you Lewis, you have such an innocence about you and give so much of yourself too. keep up the good work xx
I love this channel...it's always so thought provoking & I think of all these things to say, as though I'm in the room, but then I usually don't comment, because it'd be such a thorough thought to type out...but I can say (easily), that I love how triggering it all is to deeper thought, which im prone to do anyway...Here; it's just a more guided exploration ECT., On specific areas. Thank you for all you do❤️👩🏾🌾🕊️
Another mega mix Lewis!❤ It blows my mind how much we could use these tools in any interaction and how many layers there are to mastering it. As a psych student I found this so interesting, thank you ❤
Hey Lewis, thank you for this beautiful!
He is such a great interviewer . ❤
This is powerful stuff. A lot of things you don’t think about in a conversation. Watching this you can learn a lot more from someone from reading reactions - brilliant 🤩
Amygdaloid complex does that kind of thinking.
less is more, the less you say....the better.....the less you know, the better. With great knowledge can come great sorrow, be careful what you ask for!
This was so entertaining and refreshing. Thank you for the unique but not so unique themed content. Very light but dove pretty deep into the human psyche
Deep and kind of emotional to listen to. To anyone who has ever been let down by me and my own selfish Needs and expectations, I'm sorry please forgive me for not being able to understand how to deal with you in difficult situations
Thank you for sharing. This is so helpful and interesting.
Thank you for sharing this!!!
Amen...Very well put! Love the adaptability part, lawyers are famous for this I feel lol. Everything's a perspective so hearing them out they want you to understand who they are. The best is we all are intuitive and when ur able to connect to that it is amazing what you can know and feel.
👍
We all have an amygdala that does that thinking for us.
People can behave differently. It's just like in the polygraph test. Ask a question that you know they'll lie about. Observe their behaviour. Then observe their behaviour on a truthful answer. There's your benchmark.
I can't begin to tell you how many times that I've watched this video! AMAZING! Phenomenal content Lewis! Love the channel brother.
So glad you enjoy the channel! Thanks for being here!
She gets to the point, I like that. At least what I've seen so far. Was in a situation recently I had to be silent things going in circles but I don't want my buddies learning this. I want to get onto another level so I can finally get better
Yes, there are people who are radically honest. It's a sign of high-functioning autism (ASD) previously known as Asperger's Syndrome. It is a serious struggle for many of us, and plays a large role in our social difficulties. Unfortunately this isn't common knowledge yet, but that's why autism awareness is so important
"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." - krishnamurti
I'm honest most of the time. It's just who I am. I have no idea if I'm on the spectrum. 😂
Mirror Neurons in your brain. Absolutely 💯. What you give out comes back. Why because we all love connection and not rejection. Yes, smile and let the whole world smile with you.
We are metaphorically stopping wearing masks. But deep down we wear a mask every day. This depends on a mood. This comes from our thoughts emotions and the result is our actions. Watch your actions because will attract, by mirroring the same back. ♡♡
Well as a psychologist or therapist you can’t be just instructional ; your job is to listen to your clients!
Have you considered that some people simply need instruction? And maybe don't even know the right questions to ask? I treasure the friend who observed my struggling with text messaging and pointed out the microphone function.
Yup that’s a good friend
Its interesting. The second guy gives all these tactical elements to give the other person a good feeling, opening up and building relationship for a business purpose.
I did this naturally, without deep analyze, when I was working with a lot of clients. I often had deep conversations, and my clients always felt heard. I sold not only a good product, but a GOOD TIME. A good conversation. So everytime my clients had to contact me they had a good feeling, even if problems occured. The problem was annoying, but the meeting with me wasn't. I fix the problem, nothing more to that, and our relationship is intact.
Its so important to be a human, in business. To not be a robot going on autopilot at work just grinding the stats. Its so important to show compassion and meeting the other persons basic human intellectual needs. When you master this - your sales go up the roof too.
Honestly I didn’t think I needed to watch this when it popped up but just the communication information is worth it so far thank you so much. I never realized that I was an identity based communicator I always thought of myself as short sweet for saying to get to the point but apparently not lol no wonder I drive everyone nuts :-)
Lewis has a thing for asking very interesting questions 👍🏽👍🏽
One of my favourite pod casts! Thank-you! 👍🏻❤️🇨🇦
You're welcome,thank you for being here 🧡
I agree that you should consider the feelings of others when telling them no but I don’t think you need to be dishonest if it’s a hard no. Like telling someone you’ll think about it, when you have no intention of thinking about it. The potential for false hope can have just as much sting as the no. I believe you can be honest without being hurtful.
Just Wow!! LOVED this!! Soo Illuminating! :))
thanks Lewis. I love her shared so much
You are a really great interviewer!
Absolutely brilliant video!
The crazy amazing thing is that I don't have to try, people of all walks of life just tell me anything or even everything. It's amazing.. And many times unwanted.
I’m the same way. My boss always says, people just open up to you. That’s just Gods favor.
We all lie by omission. Lying by omission is when a person leaves out important information or fails to correct a pre-existing misconception in order to hide the truth from others.
WOW, interestingly Amazing!
Yes radical honesty its POSSIBLE, but you need to have courage for that!
This is so inspiring. Thank you so much!!!
You're welcome,thank you for being here 🧡
Love this show👍
So glad I came across this. Wow! Amazing insight.
So happy you are enjoying the content. I would love for you to subscribe and leave me a review here:
podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id596047499
Amazing content. Thank you
The host grew on me (as the saying goes). Subscribed.
This is a great program guys.
How awesome the reading of the subtle....kinda like that TV show...Psyche!
I'm so happy I woke up to Christopher Voss. *Everything* he is saying are tricks I've learned, intuitively, coping and getting my from my malignant, covert, narcissist. And knowing this allows us, "sheep" to outsmart the wolf. They're actually not that smart! well, emotionally. I learned all this with a 1 year long marriage/refugee prison with one. I mean, internship. Painful, but, the silver lining is quite sparkly. check mate! Sam Vaknin terms tactical empathy as cognitive empathy. Also, I still love him so I am not saying this to slam him. Ethically manipulate the manipulator as Rebecca Zung coins it..it's empowering when you've been on the other end for too long. There's no realm harm intended.
Love to rewatch my favorite episodes 🙏🏻💖🌹
Love hearing this! ❤️What are some of your favorites you enjoy re-watching?
@@lewishowes I enjoy everything you do because it reflects your good heart , real interest , smart and caring questions 🙏🏻💖🌹
The interview helped me understanding how other people I work with on a daily basis use these techniques. I now recognize not that they can’t make a decision but rather are saying no without saying no! “ ok let’s just let me think about how we can work this out . You don’t really need to ask again.he/she is delaying .
👍
Well done, thanks
Excellent video!!
I love your program so much keep it up
Appreciate you and your support🧡
Excellent content!
I'd prefer to hear a straight no in most situations otherwise trust in that person might become an issue
This is awesome.
Absolutely awesome this content, thanks ❤
Thank you, appreciate you for watching!
Interesting 🔥🔥
I love what you do , mastering your craft , yes , thank you for the wealth of knowledge you are sharing , you are a healer like myself , 😇
So happy you are enjoying the content. I would love for you to subscribe and leave me a review here:
podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id596047499
She’s amazing 👏
I finally understand now why I never get rejected at interviews, and they always say they'll call me back to follow up and just never do...
Right, they kept your hopes up. Tell me how you felt when you realized they weren't getting back to you.
I had that experience with an interview and they called me 6 months later "are you still unemployed?".
They are stringing you along.
this is GOLD
Massive closing advice 😍😍😍😍😍😍
Good stuff lewis ❤️
Thank you! ❤️
Oh wow! I loved learning that you’re Christian Howes brother! He IS a world famous jazz violinist and I admire him a lot! ❤
Interestingly, "high emotional intelligence" sometimes comes as a neat byproduct of intense meditation
If the kind of meditation one does helps quiet the mind, we get some distance from our conditioning, and are more aware/present.
Thank you for this info. ❤️🤔👍
👍
Thank you so much Sir Lewis Howes
You're welcome,thank you for being here ❤️
Evy's book is amazing 👏 I have learned more about being "a MAN" from her book than I have from just about everyone else collectively in my life. It's moreso about how to "literally" become bulletproof. Thank you Mrs. Evy.
How
Omg I’ve been doing this my whole life. 🤗🤴🏾👍🏾🔥🙅🏾♂️🔔🤠
This is excellent 👌🏾👌🏾
👍
This is good content, great interview👊🏼😎
I'm both both identity and instructional that's why it's hard to keep relationships with other people because they run from it most of them don't really want to handle that type of aspect they just want to choose to handle their own aspect. But I'm well aware of that I'm both of these.
Im that radical honest person you asked about but im tired of being this way so im here trying to learn to protect myself💯
This will be a good one ☝🏾🤩🤗
Let me know what you learned!
thank for giving me hope for the future
You're welcome,thank you for watching🧡
Good program
Good guests
Good and interesting titles
if we are taught ör showen lying or pushed to it ,from childhood .And we are growen up and have this bad habbit can make trouble s in our lives.So we must realize or get help to make quaĺlity in lives by expressing our selves or the situation the correctly way istead of hiding behind something that is not true and for some reason trying to hide something by lying .
Nobody better than better you will ever criticize you---Great Statement.
I agree 100%. Relationship is not a partnership.
Thanks for your information regarding lies. One will never remember their lies regardless how good they're. The lies will eventually come out in mysterious ways. An example, a husband who has an affair with another woman 👩, his lies will come out in his sleep 💤, sleep talking. I hope you will appreciate my viewpoint. The solution is very simple 👌. Do not waste your time and energy on this issues. Thank you so much ♥. Mehrunnisa.
Hey bro 👏🏼 you and your team are doing great! many blessings &♥️🌻🖤