right🤙🏾...I’m technically in my teenage years and it’s very hard for me to say no.. and I think it might stem from me always being told no (to this day) no matter the circumstance or with me being afraid of being disliked and just the conflict . Because I’ve noticed about myself that I really dislike confrontation and don’t want to be disliked. So to avoid these feelings I’ll just say yes or stay obedient, even at the cost of my own mental well-being ...
@@stephanieokoma i feel you. I was and I think I'm still like that but less than before. Because over the years, I developed a part of my personality which only care about my wellbeing. Which don't care if X isn't happy as long as I'm feel well. (But the part have a dark side, like I can be a tyran and mean if u dont respect my boundaries, therefore people leave me but I still don't care)
1- Your emotional health is linked to boundary setting 2- You deserved to be heard and understood 3- Sometimes situation calls for assertiveness 4- It allows for growth of self-awareness 5- They create healthy relationships
I'm 23 & what I've learned along my self-healing journey is that love should never cost me my physical, mental, or spiritual health. Loving someone else should never require me to betray myself.
Mochi and Turtles that is not what we are saying. It's like a few things in toxic relationships, people set the boundaries to help themselves. Think of this as being part of a religion but backwards. Normally we are supposed to put God first in this one but since we are doing reverse order, God is third in this dialogue since he is needed in the other two dialogues. Others- Of course it's important to think about others but pleasing others without self pleasing, in the case of boundaries, yes others can be pleased if you have proper boundaries. Yourself- If you don't realistic boundaries for yourself, you can't help the other two groups mentioned. Let's now go to examples of how boundaries can be crossed. Ableist behaviors- Think of it this way, it's usually most common with autistic adults but can happen with anyone with other disabilities. Stuff such as taking an emotional support animal or service animal away versus immediately registering a support animal or clear them to fly. Also an example, not thinking of the things the autistic individual wants you to focus and they say you don't want the thing and constantly trying to refer back to stuff the person wanted avoided at all costs. And not even promising the higher priority things the person wanted out of it. Asking for stuff- now I'm not saying it's bad to ask for stuff, it depends on what you ask for, but some things you sometimes ask someone who has a negative opinion, for example: Suppose you are waiting at a bus stop or another high traffic area, I'm not counting motor vehicles, and someone asks you for something to light the cigarette in front of the bus stall, they ask someone who wants smoking banned at bus stops, near buildings and other places similar and you refuse and explain you don't have one and you don't support smoking and thus will never carry one. And before the bus comes someone escorts you across the street so they can smoke and you miss the bus because that one person wanted to smoke.
As someone who speaks from experience who almost lost her best friend who is also her crush. Boundaries are really important. Even if you love them a lot you need to leave them alone at some point. I have never been a big fan of taking the time to focus on my myself for a bit but it’s never a bad idea to just take a few days and look over yourself.
Lalidesu Im in that situation, but like- I also know that that friend also have a crush on my other best friend. And as much as I like the person, they’re also my friend. And being that both of them are my friends, I’d like both of them to be happy, so instead I just... take a step back and support that friend I had a crush on. The thing is-, as much as they liked my other friend, they’re too heckin shy to act upon their feelings- which in my part hurts, since I have to deal with falling out immediately for them but they themselves won’t even help themselves ... I just- don’t know what to do anymore I guess. Everything is painful nowadays so what I do is try to ignore it by actually being “productive” and just “put myself first” - whatever that means- when it’s not related to that topic. I just- don’t know what else to do anymore, because honestly, I don’t blame my friend for liking my other friend. Cause even I could say she’s heckin amazing! She’s talented, smart, prettiER(even tho as a demisexual I can’t really tell for sure), actually has accomplishments to what her dream goals are (and in such a young age too) and to top all of that, extremely kind, polite and more... “lady like”. The thing is that she just doubts her amazing ness too much. But even so- she’s just... such an amazing person and I can clearly see why so many people like her. I just- don’t think I can compete with that. I’m not exactly that talented, or that smart, I don’t think I’m that pretty(in standards), I only even started to realize what I wanted to do in life like- only 3 years ago- and I still am trying to master the skills to do so. Then with the attitude- I am very outspoken, I won’t deny that I can get very rowdy, loud, irresponsible, messy, I can get annoying, it’s hard for me to figure out if I affect other people badly due to my actions (probably partly cause of my PDD-NOS)- then hurting their feelings in the process without even knowing, I try to hide that all of this doesn’t bother me by acting aloof or just trying to not think about it at the moment - although honestly I really am oblivious to most things when it comes to my batch-.I just- I’m such a mess compared to everybody to be honest that I... just don’t know anymore.
It's so important to set boundaries as I'm always the one taken advantage of in friendships. But I don't think it's just me, I need to be careful who I become friends with and what their intentions are in the friendship.
With toxic people that like to bounce in and out of my life I ignore their efforts on trying to communicate with me. Period. I refuse to entertain negativity in my adult life
✨It is so important that we start to put ourselves into the equation. Physical, mental, and emotional boundaries are essential and needed so that our own personal needs can be met, and so we don’t constantly put others in front of us. We need to offer ourselves the same love and understanding that we so freely give to others. I recently made a video on this exact topic! We matter. SO much. Boundaries are an expression of self love that we should NEVER feel guilty about. ♥️
Nena Lavonne Girl thanks for this you are absolutely right people use to tell me that i'm "too kind" because i can't say "no" to people or say something that it will hurt the feelings of someone even if it's what i want to say and i always end up feeling bad just to make others feel good :(
janinlly very relatable! Just remember that you are important and the guardian of your own life and emotions. Sometimes boundaries are very necessary. Take care of yourself always! ♥️😊🌸
Yesss! This is how I am now and I love it. I used to get bullied as a child and now that I have boundaries and stick up for myself, it’s so calming and peaceful. As a queen, you have to protect your peace. Otherwise, the world will stomp on you and not care how you feel.
1. Your emotional health is linked to boundary setting 1:15 2. You deserve to be heard and understood 2:00 3. Sometimes situations call for assertiveness 3:02 4. It allows for growth of self-awareness 3:47 5. They create healthy relationships 4:32
Boundaries are so important when it comes to your relationships with other people. When setting them, be true to yourself, but take the time to reflect on them. The boundaries we set are a reflection of our worth, just make sure that you are not using them as an excuse to avoid something. You could be impeding the very same self-love you're trying to cultivate.
I have trouble expressing what my boundaries are to people, especially to those I love and care about, because I'm afraid of their reactions to them. I'm scared they'll criticize me for them, invalidate them, or just not hear me. I feel this way, because it's happened too many times before, and I've also been in situations where people say they'll respect a certain boundary, act all understanding when I explain where I'm coming from, but still violate the boundary or boundaries I set.
Chances are if they do the things you're worried about, they're not worth your time/energy. Stop the stressing/worrying over "what if's", it shortens the enjoyment of living life. I'm sure this is easier said than done. You're life shouldn't be lived worrying about what others are going to think/say/do. If it doesn't mesh with you, tell them. If they keep pushing boundaries or breaking them, drop them like a piece of trash. The more chances you give someone to "change", really just means the more you're willing to suffer waiting for a "miracle". While miracles happen, they seem few and far between. Make your own miracle!
My parents have never respected my boundaries no matter how much I've tried to make them realize that what they've been doing is NOT okay. So yeah, because of that I don't believe in my own worth. Still, they're my parents so I won't throw them out of my life, but instead I will keep on insisting on my rights! However, if a so-called 'friend' would do that to me, I would very likely get rid of them, because you can't choose your family, but you CAN choose your friends.
My late father didn’t respect me when, I’m into adulthood either. And, my siblings avoided him too. Not honest about himself and divorced twice. And my mental issues mother didn’t do a thing on me since, we avoided her too.
Dang, I've always had problems with setting boundaries because I felt like I'd hurt someone. This video will really help me in the future, thank you Psych2Go. PS- yeah I know no one asked, but it feels good say it anyways.
Your ps shows how you truly dont want to hurt others. Like too much. People liked yiur comment which means they relate so you re pretty relevant. So why would you even think that? With that in mind.. i need to suggest making sure therr are no narcissists in your environment cause if there are they re teaching you to walk on eggshells. Please please educate yourself on narcissism. Dr grande is on YT
Before, It was very hard for me to say no because I was always aware of people’s feelings before my own. I changed for the better because some people took my kindness as a weakness and took advantage of me. I got treated like a door matt so many times, and now that I set boundaries a lot of people don’t like me for it. 🙃😓
I know how it feels to be too nice for your own good. Your needs go unmet. You start to resent the people you're nice to. You expect others to return your kindness in a certain way. People turn their backs on you once you stop doing favors for them. You go above and beyond to help people, but when they decide not to do the same for you, resentment starts to build up. I'm doing better now. I speak up more often. I have strong boundaries to prevent resentment from building.
Sometimes I freeze when someone shocks me with their statement and it makes it hard to set boundaries in that moment. I hate that I don't realize until later that I should've have set boundaries sooner.
My therapist has been 10-15 minutes late for each of our appointments since I started seeing her three months ago. I tried nicely explaining to her how it made me feel and why it's important to me not to waste my time. She never said sorry, and glossed over it, saying her other clients needed her. (Our sessions she ended scrupulously on time.) When she was 15 minutes late again yesterday, I expressed my anger. She immediately started talking to me like I was a little kid, which shocked me because she knows I was verbally abused by a female caregiver. It's like she used what she knew about me to hit me where it hurt. She asked, 'Do you really want to spend time on this, or move onto something else?' I didn't let her manipulate me into being silenced, but again expressed the things she'd ignored when I brought them up in past sessions. She was clearly furious that I called her out, and frustrated that her tactics to get me to feel too small to question her didn't work. I'm finding a new therapist! (She did initially help, but I found myself dismissing little things she did that made me feel wary, and then doubting my own feelings.) It was exhausting standing up for myself, but I feel empowered. The person or the importance of the relationship is not an excuse to accept toxic behavior. You can live without that person, be it family member, friend, partner, or even a therapist. *No one is exempt from respecting your boundaries.* If you're being attacked for setting boundaries, that person does not deserve to be close to you. You are your own best protector!
Hi there! I just read your comment, and just wanted to let you know that I'm so very proud of you for standing up for yourself! I'm also seeing a female therapist &, although I haven't had that experience with her, you sharing your experience reminds me that as I'm looking for a new therapist I should make sure to uphold my boundaries. Thank you so much for sharing your experience & I hope that you have a fulfilling experience finding a therapist you deserve. 💛 Best of luck on your journey!
@@5thdimensionrising Aww, thank you!! 💜 I have to remind myself that I need to have strong boundaries with *everyone*, even and especially when I'm being vulnerable with a person!
Omg first??! This video was perfectly timed as I made plans with my counselor yesterday to work on confidence in setting boundaries. Thank you for this! :)
I'm glad you've mentioned assertiveness because when they want to compell you to do something. It's best to speak out right away because it's best to speak out than to suffer in silence. That's one way of doing things. If someone feels threatened because you spoke out then that's a toxic individual. Because only a controlling individual feels in that manner. One has a right to speak-out and be heard.
There is such a thing as being too nice. Put your needs first. If you don't speak up for what you want and establish your boundaries, you will begin to accumulate resentment. Know your worth! From my childhood to adolescence, I couldn't say no. Although I treated my classmates kindly, they eventually started to ask too much of me, and they came to me for favors in class or at lunch. I started to resent the students I showed kindness to, and I found myself craving validation from my classmates. They went from asking me if they could borrow pencils from me, to asking me if they could copy off my homework. They also made me buy things for them. Don't be so nice that people start to take advantage of your niceness and use your good nature against you.
That was like throughout this year, I’ve been working at a school doing cleaning and l believed people didn’t appreciate that. One teacher turned off the lights on me while l was working cause l couldn’t see the ground, and l told her “don’t turn them off.” she apologised the next day, I believe she told one of the students to tell me that l was doing a “good job!”
As someone who literally started out with the thought of “my parents gave me life so I have to please them for all of eternity as a sign of my gratitude”, setting healthy boundaries took me years to understand. But I think I finally get it now.
I love this video. I temporarily moved in with my family (mom, stepdad, and younger sister) across the country because they asked me too and I was reluctant for 3 years. Just like before they dont respect my boundaries or my feelings. It's not like my parents treat my sister the same way either so it's not like it's just part of who they are. Despite ke being the older one, my sister is very disrespectful and hardly ever regards my feelings and even makes me look bad from time to time. If I ever voice my feelings or demand mutual respect or boundaries, I get verbally kicked down or kicked to the side. This video as always came right on time because my family and I had a confrontation to days ago and my dad kept saying something is mentally wrong with me, my mon kept saying she doesn't understand me (in a condescending way), and my sister already told my parents a lie that I slept in a bed with a guy I just met despite her behaviors. As an adult shouldn't have to explain myself, it's my life, but since I'm in their house, they treat me like a child. I've explained how I felt about the family dynamics numerous times in a calm tone, tearful tone, angry tone, and so on. Nothing gets through and it's frustrating. I'm reading to cut them off when I'm stable and move out. I love them but it's too much toxicity and inconsistency. That night I walked out, and broke down around the block. I stayed out walking for 4 hours. I'm tired of the emotional stress and drainage. I feel like just disappearing from them or for the sake of closure, faking my own death (no suicide) so they can mourn and move on and I move on (but that's just the more drastic thoughts that fly through my mind I'm not gonna do it). I just stay around others who are accepting of me and can be encouraging and pray for me.
Priscilla Jimenez I lived a similar situation with my inlaws. My advice is to distance yourself from them. As far away as you can. Stay strong, keep fighting!
just learned about this recently. I wish I knew about this earlier, as early as my teenage life. I was a doormat, a pushover, in my social life, i used to feel like I didn't had the right to express my anger, even though I was humiliated. some friends often yell at me yet I felt like I deserve that because of my shortcomings. looking back, with a better understanding of my own self, I realized that it was so wrong.
I have noticed that I'm not able to defend my boundaries when someone attacks them. It happened for example in my previous relationship where I many times showed and talked about my boundaries but yet they were still sometimes crossed. It made me feel unworthy and I couldn't say anything clearly enough to protect myself, I just accepted the situations because i didn't "want to make things worse". I was too kind to not say anything, although I should have been kind to myself and defend myself. But at least now I have learned that this is something I need to learn. I can't let people to jump into my face and not respect me.
I grew up not knowing personal boundaries only physical so now I'm in my teens and I don't know what my mental and emotional boundaries are so many people walk over me and when I try to stand up for myself I get called selfish.
Now I realize that I don't respect other people's boundaries because I don't have my own boundaries and I don't understand how important boundaries are. This is one of the reasons why I've let friends disrespect me. But I've also been extremely afraid of letting go of toxic friendships because I don't know how to make friends. I don't have many hobbies that other people share with me so I can't relate to people. And if I do make a good friend, they leave me because I don't respect their boundaries and thus the cycle repeats. The solution is to get more hobbies so I can make different friends and make sure to mention my boundaries at the beginning of the relationship. If they keep overstepping my boundaries, I can cut them off and find someone else.
My parents never made me a bedroom. I had to stay in a room-corridor of their bedroom untill the age of 21. I suffered a lot of that situation. I was feeling raped by my parents. It was horrible. Having had a private bedroom with a door would have changed all my life.
Boundaries are important to keep your relationship healthy and to function effectively. If you want strong and healthy relationship boundaries, you need to use these ideas: ✅ Communication ✅ Follow through with Set Consequences ✅ Respect, Trust and Support ✅ Knowing Yourselves 🙋♀ My advice is to establish serious boundaries when you notice things like being disrespected, feeling hurt, or being taken advantage of.
To the person reading this, repeat after me: Boundaries teach people how to love and care for me. It deepens intimacy and love. It's safe to set boundaries.
This video is highly recommend for students transiting from high school to collage or university. I was betrayed by my roommates who first promised to cooperate with me in house chores like cleaning the dishes and rooms also splitting money for groceries and shopping items, few months into this commitment turned downgrading for me as I used to take up some of their work to less burden them during my free time, they took this advantage to excel in achieving various things. As my mid-terms were approaching, I lagged behind in some topics included in my course term and I humbly requested them to take up some of my work and soon enough everyone rejected me. I couldn't blame them but this came as a lesson to me, I ended up failing my math course which I had to retake during my summer break
Curtistine Miller but what do you mean by not deal with them ? I relate but we all live in the same house, I see them almost everyday ! (I’m a HS freshmen)
You kinda feel like the guy at the beginning of the video standing in front of the line he's drawn, only to be stampeded by the countless A-holes who never met a boundary they didn't cross? Yeah, me too.
Setting boundaries really helps identifying real friends. They will always respect you. I've had a so called friend who used always make jokes on my study, would say my boyfriend is out of my league and on my weight. At first I was like...I know this is coming from a place of insecurity and jealousy, so i didn't respond much. But after nth time, I was like no more. It started to affect me. I thought setting boundaries would seem selfish but it is not....if they are costing your life energies. I totally understand that the person needs help. I tried to...by being an example , but same old stuff kept repeating. Some people are so far away from maturity it's worrying.
1- your emotional health is linked to boundary setting 2- you deserve to be heard and understood 3- sometimes situations call for assertiveness 4- it allows for growth of self-awareness 5- they create healthy relationships
In a previous video, we talked about the toxic things a parent says to their children and many of you requested tips on how to deal with that: czcams.com/video/GS_mATLF7BE/video.html In this video, we hope that it covers what you need!
Reminds me of that quote if you don't stand for something you'll fall for anything. If you don't stand up for your feelings/values and allow other people to step over your boundaries your bound to fall into discontent with your life.
Can you make a video on how to know when to set boundaries? I love to help people but I don't want to be taken advantage of. I never know where to draw the line
I tried to set boundaries with my abusive mother and she responded with violently stalking me for a year and sending me death threats from fake Facebook accounts. Been no contact for over 2 years. Have to leave my apartment of 3 years and get a new car. Deleted all social media too.
Since my bf comited suicide recently. People really need to learn the boundaries of someone. My bf's parents didnt respect those and made him have depression Well here's a video that helps and supports
I don't really understand why there's people who *totally* ignores boundaries that just pisses me off and more when things like that happen.(Ik im late) Sorry for your loss,i hope life is treating you better now
This video came out the same day my therapist told me that i should set boundaries. It's a bit hard for me to do so. Dealing with an unsupporting family is hell. Thank you for the video!
I feel like it's better for you to have a small, hard heart. As someone who had always had a big heart it's always been so hard for me to do anything for myself. I can't defend myself properly because I don't wanna hurt the other person. I can't stop toxic friendships because I'm too nice to ever hurt someone I know but it will likely never help me. I've always shown myself to be happy and satisfied with my life on the outside so whenever I try to tell anyone that Im having mental health issues no one every believe me. They just laugh or something. It's been so hard for me to ever express anything because I don't want anyone to worry about me and I know I can't be alone. There are probably more of you like me, who keep hurting themselves to help other people. And I don't even think this is worth it, the people I keep helping are climbing up due to me and I'm getting lower.
I’ve been searching for a video that could explain in depth about boundaries. Thank you sooooooooooo..... much for making this video. This has helped in a tremendous way!
Boundaries are actually important and I think I should tell people around me to not cross the line or it'll be harmful for our relationship you're right Psych2go how will they know unless I tell them.......
And those intruders act as if they weren't the enemy and pretend to calm you down,when you reach the point of being *fucking sick of them* and you start taking measures (just a nice way of saying it)
It’s called grey rock, if you’re in a position say at work where you can’t find another place to work, or even family where they don’t respect your boundaries or even bully you repeatedly, react minimally until you can find something else. With family you can still cut contact and make it clear what’s tolerable. With work you have to just grey rock until you can find a better place. Toxic people don’t often change.
Very recently, I had a toxic person who was demanding for rides... and I was not charging her for gas money. Last week I told her I was going to charge her for it and I asked her 3 times in three separate days WHEN she was going to pay me. She never answered me and she said I was nagging her. This Tuesday that just past, I cut her off... I was SUPER polite about it. She tried to guilt trip me, then she THREATENED me!! (Like it escalated quickly) So I saved the messages and I went to my job, and showed them the messages. I was scared, but I was done giving her rides. I felt physically threatened too, so I went to the police to find out my next step. I had a TWO day start on her. She tried to make her threat into action and it failed so quickly on her because I did something right away. I’m done being pushed around
Hey, just a tip, “awry” is pronounced “uh-RYE,” not “AHH-ree.” Otherwise, thanks for this video. Needed to hear this right now as I go into ending a dating situation.
Just wanted to add a note here that I wrote this comment when the title had nothing to do with toxic people/toxicity... the person is NOT toxic. What I meant was that I needed to hear that it’s ok for me to have boundaries.
correcting the video to say the word correctly, helps improve communication and makes the person not mess up embarrassingly in the future. anyone who is mad at the clarification of pronunciation, is a flake of snow.
I feel sorry, for the people in my life because I never understood boundaries, because i never had them I always wanted to help people even over my own health and when people set boundaries I didn’t understand i felt like I wasn’t enough, so this idea really helps
i just saw a random video about boundaries and realized i don’t even know what they are- so i’m trying to learn so i can make other feel comfortable and also keep myself safe 😅
Most parents nowadays don't believe their kids deserve respect or boundaries. And yet they wonder why suicide, depression, anxiety, and other such mental health conditions are on the rise... Selfish a-holes, the lot of 'em...
I have a friend. We got into a big fight recently because she crossed my boundaries. She constantly physically and psychologically hurt me. I don't know what to do anymore because she apologized and now we're friends again but every time I'm around her I'm scared. She even has again physically hurt me. Please don't cross others boundaries, especially if they tell you to stop. I have to constantly make up excuses to not hang out with her.
If only I had this resource in high school maybe I wouldn’t have suffered so much from people trying to tale advantage of me☺️but its always good to learn and reflect
I have a story, I know this person how would always cross my boundaries like making me join clubs I knew nothing about or had no interest in,constantly messing with my anxiety or depression, Ect. Sp he used to be my friend but when I found my girlfriend she would stand up to him but bow hes trying to pull me away from her and I watched your soulmate video and I realized that she was my soul mate so that really hurt me and he won't leave me alone I have told him I dont want to be friends before but he won't listen to me so now all I really have if my girlfriend and I go to a therapist for it so she could help me end my relationship.
I understand boundaries are healthy but in my family it doesn't work that way. I've been taught all my life to let people walk all over you, why beats me. So creating boundaries for me is not an option.
May I suggest saying to yourself "...has never been an option... until now". Your situation sounds exactly the same as my childhood was, which made my adult life very difficult to navigate and make sense of.
Exceptional stuff here. A related book I read recently had a major influence on me. "The Art of Saying No: Mastering Boundaries for a Fulfilling Life" by Samuel Dawn
You just have to tell others how you wanna be treated, if you let them run you over ....you are done! And your self steem will end up in the trash and depressed.
I don't even bother with people since I'm always misunderstood. I just keep to myself. If I got anything to say, I write it on my phone. In real life , I just keep my mouth shut.
I love your channel. It has beautiful education content with cute art that doesn’t make me feel boring. I learn a lot from every videos. Wish you guy all the best!
I have two major boundaries: don’t mess with my stuff without asking first and stay an arm’s length away from me as I HATE being touched... had someone (low IQ) not understand why I would always chase her away for not respecting my boundaries... just hearing her name is a trauma trigger for me now...
Timestamps 1:14 1. Your emotional health is linked to boundary setting 2:00 2. You deserved to be heard and understood 3:02 3. Sometimes situation calls for assertiveness 3:46 4. It allows for growth of self-awareness 4:31 5. They create healthy relationships
I'm immersed in this. I read a book with a similar theme, and I was completely immersed. "The Art of Saying No: Mastering Boundaries for a Fulfilling Life" by Samuel Dawn
It’s so hard when it’s your mother insisting on controlling your relationship. I try to set boundaries then she goes hard out on the guilt and shame and complains to the rest of the family how badly I treat her. They then get involved.
*If you don’t respect yourself, others will take your lead on that.*
That's very important. Thank you for sharing that! 😊
Spot on! This is important to remember!
ooh
"If you don't respect yourself, others will take your lead on that."
So true!!
It is unfortunate, but it is true.
I spent my childhood and teenage years without boundaries being always pushed around and not being able to say no.
How's now?
@@Psych2go I think it's better now thanks but it's good to know about these things.
right🤙🏾...I’m technically in my teenage years and it’s very hard for me to say no.. and I think it might stem from me always being told no (to this day) no matter the circumstance or with me being afraid of being disliked and just the conflict . Because I’ve noticed about myself that I really dislike confrontation and don’t want to be disliked. So to avoid these feelings I’ll just say yes or stay obedient, even at the cost of my own mental well-being ...
@@stephanieokoma i feel you. I was and I think I'm still like that but less than before. Because over the years, I developed a part of my personality which only care about my wellbeing. Which don't care if X isn't happy as long as I'm feel well. (But the part have a dark side, like I can be a tyran and mean if u dont respect my boundaries, therefore people leave me but I still don't care)
Ikr? I had no idea boundaries were a thing or something necessary, only that it was what my mum really wanted so I thought that was customary.
1- Your emotional health is linked to boundary setting
2- You deserved to be heard and understood
3- Sometimes situation calls for assertiveness
4- It allows for growth of self-awareness
5- They create healthy relationships
Thanks for putting this together. Is there anything that we miss?
❤
Yes thanks... there is no need to watch full video 😂
I'm 23 & what I've learned along my self-healing journey is that love should never cost me my physical, mental, or spiritual health. Loving someone else should never require me to betray myself.
MY BOUNDARIES 💜💜
Period !!
I hate it when people just don't get what boundaries are.
Yea iv gotta learn private space
"some people just don't understand boundaries".
Puss in boots, Shrek the third, 2007
@Mochi and Turtles that's not what i meant...
What i mean is, respect others boundaries
Mochi and Turtles that is not what we are saying. It's like a few things in toxic relationships, people set the boundaries to help themselves. Think of this as being part of a religion but backwards.
Normally we are supposed to put God first in this one but since we are doing reverse order, God is third in this dialogue since he is needed in the other two dialogues.
Others- Of course it's important to think about others but pleasing others without self pleasing, in the case of boundaries, yes others can be pleased if you have proper boundaries.
Yourself- If you don't realistic boundaries for yourself, you can't help the other two groups mentioned.
Let's now go to examples of how boundaries can be crossed.
Ableist behaviors- Think of it this way, it's usually most common with autistic adults but can happen with anyone with other disabilities. Stuff such as taking an emotional support animal or service animal away versus immediately registering a support animal or clear them to fly. Also an example, not thinking of the things the autistic individual wants you to focus and they say you don't want the thing and constantly trying to refer back to stuff the person wanted avoided at all costs. And not even promising the higher priority things the person wanted out of it.
Asking for stuff- now I'm not saying it's bad to ask for stuff, it depends on what you ask for, but some things you sometimes ask someone who has a negative opinion, for example:
Suppose you are waiting at a bus stop or another high traffic area, I'm not counting motor vehicles, and someone asks you for something to light the cigarette in front of the bus stall, they ask someone who wants smoking banned at bus stops, near buildings and other places similar and you refuse and explain you don't have one and you don't support smoking and thus will never carry one. And before the bus comes someone escorts you across the street so they can smoke and you miss the bus because that one person wanted to smoke.
Then when you cross their boundaries, they make a scene about it
As someone who speaks from experience who almost lost her best friend who is also her crush. Boundaries are really important. Even if you love them a lot you need to leave them alone at some point. I have never been a big fan of taking the time to focus on my myself for a bit but it’s never a bad idea to just take a few days and look over yourself.
Thanks for your comment! I couldn't agree more. Would you like to share more about your best friend?
Lalidesu Im in that situation, but like- I also know that that friend also have a crush on my other best friend. And as much as I like the person, they’re also my friend. And being that both of them are my friends, I’d like both of them to be happy, so instead I just... take a step back and support that friend I had a crush on. The thing is-, as much as they liked my other friend, they’re too heckin shy to act upon their feelings- which in my part hurts, since I have to deal with falling out immediately for them but they themselves won’t even help themselves ... I just- don’t know what to do anymore I guess. Everything is painful nowadays so what I do is try to ignore it by actually being “productive” and just “put myself first” - whatever that means- when it’s not related to that topic. I just- don’t know what else to do anymore, because honestly, I don’t blame my friend for liking my other friend. Cause even I could say she’s heckin amazing! She’s talented, smart, prettiER(even tho as a demisexual I can’t really tell for sure), actually has accomplishments to what her dream goals are (and in such a young age too) and to top all of that, extremely kind, polite and more... “lady like”. The thing is that she just doubts her amazing ness too much. But even so- she’s just... such an amazing person and I can clearly see why so many people like her. I just- don’t think I can compete with that. I’m not exactly that talented, or that smart, I don’t think I’m that pretty(in standards), I only even started to realize what I wanted to do in life like- only 3 years ago- and I still am trying to master the skills to do so. Then with the attitude- I am very outspoken, I won’t deny that I can get very rowdy, loud, irresponsible, messy, I can get annoying, it’s hard for me to figure out if I affect other people badly due to my actions (probably partly cause of my PDD-NOS)- then hurting their feelings in the process without even knowing, I try to hide that all of this doesn’t bother me by acting aloof or just trying to not think about it at the moment - although honestly I really am oblivious to most things when it comes to my batch-.I just- I’m such a mess compared to everybody to be honest that I... just don’t know anymore.
Agreed. 👍
I just realized about it lately.
I’m going through the same thing right now. I needed this thank you!
I am having a problem where I can't Cleary communicate when my boss is harsh and sarcastic how to address this
I've lost friends because I've insisted on people respecting my boundaries.
Andy McCurdy they don’t deserve you
Andy McCurdy
Congrats, you’re weeding out the imposters posing as your friends.
I admire you and strive to be like you in that respect. At least you'll know that the friends you do have are genuine.
If they were well and truly your friends they would've stuck by you and your wishes ❤
And I admire you doing that, I couldn't x
*5 Reasons Why Setting Boundaries are Important:*
1. So the Titans would stay out of the Wall
Duchi bruh the manga of AoT is getting me hyped
@@solamenoname7491, hopefully the hype back then from 2012 will make a comeback specially with the Finale!
Duchi man I’ve felt hyped more than ever, the best chapter I’ve seen ever is 123 I believe where they show the origins ;)
YEAH BOIII
Agreed
i've been a pushover for such a long time that i'm tired of living like this. i want to learn to stand up for myself.
So important! And you can learn it still. The earlier the better.
It’s never too late to learn. You can do it! ✊🏾✊🏾✊🏾
@@TrainMaster5097 thank you so much! it's been 8 months since i posted this comment and i've made a lot of progress :D
I dont mind cutting cords w disrespectful people even relatives for the sake of my mental health!
“You deserve to be heard and understood”
That hits me in my heart
It's so important to set boundaries as I'm always the one taken advantage of in friendships. But I don't think it's just me, I need to be careful who I become friends with and what their intentions are in the friendship.
Absolutely! Always remember that you need to feel good after that think about how you can make them feel good. Not the other way around.
With toxic people that like to bounce in and out of my life I ignore their efforts on trying to communicate with me. Period. I refuse to entertain negativity in my adult life
✨It is so important that we start to put ourselves into the equation. Physical, mental, and emotional boundaries are essential and needed so that our own personal needs can be met, and so we don’t constantly put others in front of us. We need to offer ourselves the same love and understanding that we so freely give to others. I recently made a video on this exact topic! We matter. SO much. Boundaries are an expression of self love that we should NEVER feel guilty about. ♥️
Nena Lavonne Girl thanks for this you are absolutely right people use to tell me that i'm "too kind" because i can't say "no" to people or say something that it will hurt the feelings of someone even if it's what i want to say and i always end up feeling bad just to make others feel good :(
janinlly very relatable! Just remember that you are important and the guardian of your own life and emotions. Sometimes boundaries are very necessary. Take care of yourself always! ♥️😊🌸
Nena Lavonne i will!!🤍
janinlly ♥️♥️♥️
@@NenaLavonne Thanks for sharing your wisdom with us! :)
As a child, I was treated like 💩 everyday from the outside world. As an adult, I put people in their place immediately. Excellent video!!!👍😎
I admire you more than words can say and strive to be like that in my own life. Much respect!
@@pamelameckley7308 Awww, thanks Pamela and may God bless you 💎😎
Teach us how to put people in their place! I have a zero BS tolerance meter, but I get panicky and shaky when I try to actually stand up for myself 🥴
Yesss! This is how I am now and I love it. I used to get bullied as a child and now that I have boundaries and stick up for myself, it’s so calming and peaceful. As a queen, you have to protect your peace. Otherwise, the world will stomp on you and not care how you feel.
1. Your emotional health is linked to boundary setting 1:15
2. You deserve to be heard and understood 2:00
3. Sometimes situations call for assertiveness 3:02
4. It allows for growth of self-awareness 3:47
5. They create healthy relationships 4:32
Thx
Thanks for putting this together! Any other points that should be included?
@@Psych2go could you make a video explaining what boundaries are and how to set them
Boundaries are so important when it comes to your relationships with other people. When setting them, be true to yourself, but take the time to reflect on them. The boundaries we set are a reflection of our worth, just make sure that you are not using them as an excuse to avoid something. You could be impeding the very same self-love you're trying to cultivate.
Well said!
Right!
Exactly. We need to abandon the need to please people to the extent of hurting ourselves.
*it's so important* because you never want to be taken advantage of 😣
This comment should be pinned to the top for *ALL* to see. 🥇🌟💯
@@pamelameckley7308 Bloody well said, Pamela!
I have trouble expressing what my boundaries are to people, especially to those I love and care about, because I'm afraid of their reactions to them. I'm scared they'll criticize me for them, invalidate them, or just not hear me. I feel this way, because it's happened too many times before, and I've also been in situations where people say they'll respect a certain boundary, act all understanding when I explain where I'm coming from, but still violate the boundary or boundaries I set.
Chances are if they do the things you're worried about, they're not worth your time/energy. Stop the stressing/worrying over "what if's", it shortens the enjoyment of living life.
I'm sure this is easier said than done. You're life shouldn't be lived worrying about what others are going to think/say/do. If it doesn't mesh with you, tell them. If they keep pushing boundaries or breaking them, drop them like a piece of trash.
The more chances you give someone to "change", really just means the more you're willing to suffer waiting for a "miracle".
While miracles happen, they seem few and far between.
Make your own miracle!
I feel the same. :""
My parents have never respected my boundaries no matter how much I've tried to make them realize that what they've been doing is NOT okay. So yeah, because of that I don't believe in my own worth. Still, they're my parents so I won't throw them out of my life, but instead I will keep on insisting on my rights! However, if a so-called 'friend' would do that to me, I would very likely get rid of them, because you can't choose your family, but you CAN choose your friends.
Setting boundaries and enforcing them is vital to your emotional health AND your self worth in my opinion. I'm working on it too.
You can also cut off toxic family members! You are your own best protector
My late father didn’t respect me when, I’m into adulthood either. And, my siblings avoided him too. Not honest about himself and divorced twice. And my mental issues mother didn’t do a thing on me since, we avoided her too.
Cosmosprayer you're right having a family is a blessing from God........ Maybe they think they're helping you but are making the situation worse
Im sorry your comments kind of.. Edgy
Setting boundaries does not work with toxic people. Cut them loose and move on!!!
Hard to do that when you live under the same roof
*The boundaries to what you can accept are your boundaries to freedom*
ADMIRE YOUR PAST, HUG YOUR PRESENT AND CHANGE YOUR FUTURE .
HUGS n KISSES from ABOVE, KEEP ON SMILING
Clearly not said by a trauma survivor.
My past is not admirable but I can admire my present now 🙂
Fuck my past.
I will continue to fight today.
As for the future, well, my first point is what makes the future exciting.
*Ain't buyin' that fam*
Dang, I've always had problems with setting boundaries because I felt like I'd hurt someone. This video will really help me in the future, thank you Psych2Go.
PS- yeah I know no one asked, but it feels good say it anyways.
Me too but I think it's Better to set boundaries than to hurt myself and others......
Your ps shows how you truly dont want to hurt others. Like too much.
People liked yiur comment which means they relate so you re pretty relevant.
So why would you even think that?
With that in mind.. i need to suggest making sure therr are no narcissists in your environment cause if there are they re teaching you to walk on eggshells. Please please educate yourself on narcissism. Dr grande is on YT
Before, It was very hard for me to say no because I was always aware of people’s feelings before my own. I changed for the better because some people took my kindness as a weakness and took advantage of me. I got treated like a door matt so many times, and now that I set boundaries a lot of people don’t like me for it. 🙃😓
I know how it feels to be too nice for your own good. Your needs go unmet. You start to resent the people you're nice to. You expect others to return your kindness in a certain way. People turn their backs on you once you stop doing favors for them. You go above and beyond to help people, but when they decide not to do the same for you, resentment starts to build up. I'm doing better now. I speak up more often. I have strong boundaries to prevent resentment from building.
Unfortunately toxic family members won't understand it even if you stand up for yourself instead you'll get physically abuse
This goes without saying. And it is not even just the family members it can be anyone you engage with. You are in the right. Gold star for you.👍🏼💯👏🏼🌟
Sometimes I freeze when someone shocks me with their statement and it makes it hard to set boundaries in that moment. I hate that I don't realize until later that I should've have set boundaries sooner.
My therapist has been 10-15 minutes late for each of our appointments since I started seeing her three months ago. I tried nicely explaining to her how it made me feel and why it's important to me not to waste my time. She never said sorry, and glossed over it, saying her other clients needed her. (Our sessions she ended scrupulously on time.) When she was 15 minutes late again yesterday, I expressed my anger. She immediately started talking to me like I was a little kid, which shocked me because she knows I was verbally abused by a female caregiver. It's like she used what she knew about me to hit me where it hurt. She asked, 'Do you really want to spend time on this, or move onto something else?' I didn't let her manipulate me into being silenced, but again expressed the things she'd ignored when I brought them up in past sessions. She was clearly furious that I called her out, and frustrated that her tactics to get me to feel too small to question her didn't work. I'm finding a new therapist! (She did initially help, but I found myself dismissing little things she did that made me feel wary, and then doubting my own feelings.) It was exhausting standing up for myself, but I feel empowered. The person or the importance of the relationship is not an excuse to accept toxic behavior. You can live without that person, be it family member, friend, partner, or even a therapist. *No one is exempt from respecting your boundaries.* If you're being attacked for setting boundaries, that person does not deserve to be close to you. You are your own best protector!
Hi there! I just read your comment, and just wanted to let you know that I'm so very proud of you for standing up for yourself! I'm also seeing a female therapist &, although I haven't had that experience with her, you sharing your experience reminds me that as I'm looking for a new therapist I should make sure to uphold my boundaries. Thank you so much for sharing your experience & I hope that you have a fulfilling experience finding a therapist you deserve. 💛 Best of luck on your journey!
@@5thdimensionrising Aww, thank you!! 💜 I have to remind myself that I need to have strong boundaries with *everyone*, even and especially when I'm being vulnerable with a person!
Omg first??! This video was perfectly timed as I made plans with my counselor yesterday to work on confidence in setting boundaries. Thank you for this! :)
Cupán Tae that’s so great! Good on you for having the courage to take the next step!
Feel free to share this video with your counsellor to see what they think too!
I'm glad you've mentioned assertiveness because when they want to compell you to do something. It's best to speak out right away because it's best to speak out than to suffer in silence. That's one way of doing things. If someone feels threatened because you spoke out then that's a toxic individual. Because only a controlling individual feels in that manner. One has a right to speak-out and be heard.
There is such a thing as being too nice. Put your needs first. If you don't speak up for what you want and establish your boundaries, you will begin to accumulate resentment. Know your worth! From my childhood to adolescence, I couldn't say no. Although I treated my classmates kindly, they eventually started to ask too much of me, and they came to me for favors in class or at lunch. I started to resent the students I showed kindness to, and I found myself craving validation from my classmates. They went from asking me if they could borrow pencils from me, to asking me if they could copy off my homework. They also made me buy things for them. Don't be so nice that people start to take advantage of your niceness and use your good nature against you.
That was like throughout this year, I’ve been working at a school doing cleaning and l believed people didn’t appreciate that. One teacher turned off the lights on me while l was working cause l couldn’t see the ground, and l told her “don’t turn them off.” she apologised the next day, I believe she told one of the students to tell me that l was doing a “good job!”
@@lukehart7225 I get that. I've had other students take advantage of my good nature. I started to resent the kids I was nice to.
@@drinasun6984 I’m sorry to hear, students didn’t give a hard time.. it’s the teachers, cause we’re just cleaners
@@lukehart7225 I see.
As someone who literally started out with the thought of “my parents gave me life so I have to please them for all of eternity as a sign of my gratitude”, setting healthy boundaries took me years to understand. But I think I finally get it now.
Video: 2 min ago
Some comments: 4 min ago
*Looks like time travel is real*
*am i right*
I love this video. I temporarily moved in with my family (mom, stepdad, and younger sister) across the country because they asked me too and I was reluctant for 3 years. Just like before they dont respect my boundaries or my feelings. It's not like my parents treat my sister the same way either so it's not like it's just part of who they are. Despite ke being the older one, my sister is very disrespectful and hardly ever regards my feelings and even makes me look bad from time to time. If I ever voice my feelings or demand mutual respect or boundaries, I get verbally kicked down or kicked to the side.
This video as always came right on time because my family and I had a confrontation to days ago and my dad kept saying something is mentally wrong with me, my mon kept saying she doesn't understand me (in a condescending way), and my sister already told my parents a lie that I slept in a bed with a guy I just met despite her behaviors. As an adult shouldn't have to explain myself, it's my life, but since I'm in their house, they treat me like a child. I've explained how I felt about the family dynamics numerous times in a calm tone, tearful tone, angry tone, and so on. Nothing gets through and it's frustrating. I'm reading to cut them off when I'm stable and move out. I love them but it's too much toxicity and inconsistency. That night I walked out, and broke down around the block. I stayed out walking for 4 hours.
I'm tired of the emotional stress and drainage. I feel like just disappearing from them or for the sake of closure, faking my own death (no suicide) so they can mourn and move on and I move on (but that's just the more drastic thoughts that fly through my mind I'm not gonna do it). I just stay around others who are accepting of me and can be encouraging and pray for me.
Priscilla Jimenez I lived a similar situation with my inlaws. My advice is to distance yourself from them. As far away as you can. Stay strong, keep fighting!
Reason 1: Without boundaries what will keep you safe from creepers in Minecraft
Pull the plug, read a book.
@@pamelameckley7308 you're smart.....
True dat
That’s.. actually a really good analogy
just learned about this recently. I wish I knew about this earlier, as early as my teenage life. I was a doormat, a pushover, in my social life, i used to feel like I didn't had the right to express my anger, even though I was humiliated. some friends often yell at me yet I felt like I deserve that because of my shortcomings. looking back, with a better understanding of my own self, I realized that it was so wrong.
Wow. My life
I have noticed that I'm not able to defend my boundaries when someone attacks them. It happened for example in my previous relationship where I many times showed and talked about my boundaries but yet they were still sometimes crossed. It made me feel unworthy and I couldn't say anything clearly enough to protect myself, I just accepted the situations because i didn't "want to make things worse". I was too kind to not say anything, although I should have been kind to myself and defend myself. But at least now I have learned that this is something I need to learn. I can't let people to jump into my face and not respect me.
I grew up not knowing personal boundaries only physical so now I'm in my teens and I don't know what my mental and emotional boundaries are so many people walk over me and when I try to stand up for myself I get called selfish.
Now I realize that I don't respect other people's boundaries because I don't have my own boundaries and I don't understand how important boundaries are. This is one of the reasons why I've let friends disrespect me. But I've also been extremely afraid of letting go of toxic friendships because I don't know how to make friends. I don't have many hobbies that other people share with me so I can't relate to people. And if I do make a good friend, they leave me because I don't respect their boundaries and thus the cycle repeats. The solution is to get more hobbies so I can make different friends and make sure to mention my boundaries at the beginning of the relationship. If they keep overstepping my boundaries, I can cut them off and find someone else.
I understand that. I grew up the same way and it hurts.
2:03 "And isn't the thought enough to lift you off of the ground?"
It's "Why setting boundaries *is* important", it's singular, as in "the act of setting boundaries".
My parents never made me a bedroom. I had to stay in a room-corridor of their bedroom untill the age of 21. I suffered a lot of that situation. I was feeling raped by my parents. It was horrible. Having had a private bedroom with a door would have changed all my life.
Boundaries are important to keep your relationship healthy and to function effectively.
If you want strong and healthy relationship boundaries, you need to use these ideas:
✅ Communication
✅ Follow through with Set Consequences
✅ Respect, Trust and Support
✅ Knowing Yourselves
🙋♀ My advice is to establish serious boundaries when you notice things like being disrespected, feeling hurt, or being taken advantage of.
Excellent explanation of what boundaries are, why they are important and how to take responsibility for your onw happiness.
To the person reading this, repeat after me:
Boundaries teach people how to love and care for me. It deepens intimacy and love. It's safe to set boundaries.
Thank you
thanks
This video is highly recommend for students transiting from high school to collage or university. I was betrayed by my roommates who first promised to cooperate with me in house chores like cleaning the dishes and rooms also splitting money for groceries and shopping items, few months into this commitment turned downgrading for me as I used to take up some of their work to less burden them during my free time, they took this advantage to excel in achieving various things. As my mid-terms were approaching, I lagged behind in some topics included in my course term and I humbly requested them to take up some of my work and soon enough everyone rejected me. I couldn't blame them but this came as a lesson to me, I ended up failing my math course which I had to retake during my summer break
When people are disrespectful of your boundaries ;don't deal with them;
usually family...
Curtistine Miller but what do you mean by not deal with them ? I relate but we all live in the same house, I see them almost everyday ! (I’m a HS freshmen)
@@stephanieokoma Well it would be kinda hard for you,but stay your distance from the toxic one's as much as you can...
It's hard to set boundaries if it is your family though :(
Yes it is and it's scary
True
Universal truth..
No one listens to me so me having boundaries doesn't matter
You kinda feel like the guy at the beginning of the video standing in front of the line he's drawn, only to be stampeded by the countless A-holes who never met a boundary they didn't cross? Yeah, me too.
if the boundaries are physical, self-defense is completely acceptable and noone can tell you otherwise going to martial arts and exercising helps this
Ikr. No matter what kind it is. Physical or emotional
Then dont keep up with the people that keeps breaking them
Then those people's rights to be in your life should be withdrawn immediately.
Setting boundaries really helps identifying real friends. They will always respect you. I've had a so called friend who used always make jokes on my study, would say my boyfriend is out of my league and on my weight. At first I was like...I know this is coming from a place of insecurity and jealousy, so i didn't respond much. But after nth time, I was like no more. It started to affect me. I thought setting boundaries would seem selfish but it is not....if they are costing your life energies. I totally understand that the person needs help. I tried to...by being an example , but same old stuff kept repeating. Some people are so far away from maturity it's worrying.
I spent years not understanding the concept of boundaries. Thank you, and I understand personal space that's not just physical but emotional
Excellent video! Limits are an essential need for human social interactions and adaptative relational experiences.
Everything needs moderation.
@@Psych2go, you got it! Even internalized limits needs moderation! :D
1- your emotional health is linked to boundary setting
2- you deserve to be heard and understood
3- sometimes situations call for assertiveness
4- it allows for growth of self-awareness
5- they create healthy relationships
In a previous video, we talked about the toxic things a parent says to their children and many of you requested tips on how to deal with that: czcams.com/video/GS_mATLF7BE/video.html In this video, we hope that it covers what you need!
Reminds me of that quote if you don't stand for something you'll fall for anything. If you don't stand up for your feelings/values and allow other people to step over your boundaries your bound to fall into discontent with your life.
Can you make a video on how to know when to set boundaries? I love to help people but I don't want to be taken advantage of. I never know where to draw the line
I tried to set boundaries with my abusive mother and she responded with violently stalking me for a year and sending me death threats from fake Facebook accounts.
Been no contact for over 2 years. Have to leave my apartment of 3 years and get a new car. Deleted all social media too.
Wow. Must have been a huge step. You are strong 💪🏽
Since my bf comited suicide recently. People really need to learn the boundaries of someone. My bf's parents didnt respect those and made him have depression
Well here's a video that helps and supports
Sorry to hear. We all need our space and unfortunately, not a lot of people know how to give that.
@@Psych2go sigh. Quite a shame
Aaron NinjaHunter : That must be awful for you - so sorry for your loss🙏🏻
@@pjesf 😣
I don't really understand why there's people who *totally* ignores boundaries that just pisses me off and more when things like that happen.(Ik im late) Sorry for your loss,i hope life is treating you better now
This video came out the same day my therapist told me that i should set boundaries. It's a bit hard for me to do so. Dealing with an unsupporting family is hell. Thank you for the video!
Respect is a must .
I feel like it's better for you to have a small, hard heart.
As someone who had always had a big heart it's always been so hard for me to do anything for myself. I can't defend myself properly because I don't wanna hurt the other person. I can't stop toxic friendships because I'm too nice to ever hurt someone I know but it will likely never help me. I've always shown myself to be happy and satisfied with my life on the outside so whenever I try to tell anyone that Im having mental health issues no one every believe me. They just laugh or something. It's been so hard for me to ever express anything because I don't want anyone to worry about me and I know I can't be alone. There are probably more of you like me, who keep hurting themselves to help other people. And I don't even think this is worth it, the people I keep helping are climbing up due to me and I'm getting lower.
I’ve been searching for a video that could explain in depth about boundaries. Thank you sooooooooooo..... much for making this video. This has helped in a tremendous way!
Boundaries are actually important and I think I should tell people around me to not cross the line or it'll be harmful for our relationship you're right Psych2go how will they know unless I tell them.......
Yeah. Its so important to secure yourself from the intruders that comes for a while and shake you out from the soul.... Maannnn that feeling.. aghh😐
Intruders? That's a nice way to put it lol. We had them as toxic people.
And those intruders act as if they weren't the enemy and pretend to calm you down,when you reach the point of being *fucking sick of them* and you start taking measures (just a nice way of saying it)
You deserve to be loved, so love yourself and respect yourself
It’s called grey rock, if you’re in a position say at work where you can’t find another place to work, or even family where they don’t respect your boundaries or even bully you repeatedly, react minimally until you can find something else. With family you can still cut contact and make it clear what’s tolerable. With work you have to just grey rock until you can find a better place. Toxic people don’t often change.
Very recently, I had a toxic person who was demanding for rides... and I was not charging her for gas money. Last week I told her I was going to charge her for it and I asked her 3 times in three separate days WHEN she was going to pay me. She never answered me and she said I was nagging her.
This Tuesday that just past, I cut her off... I was SUPER polite about it. She tried to guilt trip me, then she THREATENED me!! (Like it escalated quickly) So I saved the messages and I went to my job, and showed them the messages. I was scared, but I was done giving her rides. I felt physically threatened too, so I went to the police to find out my next step.
I had a TWO day start on her. She tried to make her threat into action and it failed so quickly on her because I did something right away. I’m done being pushed around
That music you have playing in the background is an absolute treasure, so soothing.
Hey, just a tip, “awry” is pronounced “uh-RYE,” not “AHH-ree.” Otherwise, thanks for this video. Needed to hear this right now as I go into ending a dating situation.
You can do it, honey! 💜
Just wanted to add a note here that I wrote this comment when the title had nothing to do with toxic people/toxicity... the person is NOT toxic. What I meant was that I needed to hear that it’s ok for me to have boundaries.
Came here to say the same about the mispronunciation. Hope you’re doing well after leaving your ex!
Daniel Embree She wasn’t mean at all.
correcting the video to say the word correctly, helps improve communication and makes the person not mess up embarrassingly in the future.
anyone who is mad at the clarification of pronunciation, is a flake of snow.
I have no boundaries, i dont even have standard's :'(
Same cause I have low self esteem and I'm poor
MoosicUwU You will one day! Keep working at it :).
I learned.Harsh lessons.Mistakes on my part.I'm better I'm stronger in the end.
I have found that I have pretty few boundaries. Combined with ASD, I have a really hard time understanding how far is too far.
I feel sorry, for the people in my life because I never understood boundaries, because i never had them I always wanted to help people even over my own health and when people set boundaries I didn’t understand i felt like I wasn’t enough, so this idea really helps
i just saw a random video about boundaries and realized i don’t even know what they are- so i’m trying to learn so i can make other feel comfortable and also keep myself safe 😅
Your channel is so helpful, thank you for making these videos💙
Most parents nowadays don't believe their kids deserve respect or boundaries. And yet they wonder why suicide, depression, anxiety, and other such mental health conditions are on the rise... Selfish a-holes, the lot of 'em...
Yep! Yep! Yep!💯💯👏🏼👏🏼👍🏼👍🏼 They call you selfish when they cannot take advantage of you. 💯👏🏼👍🏼Thank you!! You get it!!! 💯
As always Psych2Go nailed it! NEVER ALLOW ANOTHER PERSON TO CROSS YOUR BOUNDARY. It's there for a reason.
I have a friend. We got into a big fight recently because she crossed my boundaries. She constantly physically and psychologically hurt me. I don't know what to do anymore because she apologized and now we're friends again but every time I'm around her I'm scared. She even has again physically hurt me. Please don't cross others boundaries, especially if they tell you to stop. I have to constantly make up excuses to not hang out with her.
I agree 1000%
If only I had this resource in high school maybe I wouldn’t have suffered so much from people trying to tale advantage of me☺️but its always good to learn and reflect
Holy crap, your uploads are always so relevant to my life it's not even funny. Thank you so much for your hard work!
The reasons why to set boundaries are very helpful and I appreciate this channel for sharing, is there a video for how to set boundaries?
I have a story, I know this person how would always cross my boundaries like making me join clubs I knew nothing about or had no interest in,constantly messing with my anxiety or depression, Ect. Sp he used to be my friend but when I found my girlfriend she would stand up to him but bow hes trying to pull me away from her and I watched your soulmate video and I realized that she was my soul mate so that really hurt me and he won't leave me alone I have told him I dont want to be friends before but he won't listen to me so now all I really have if my girlfriend and I go to a therapist for it so she could help me end my relationship.
Sorry for all the spelling ereors
I understand boundaries are healthy but in my family it doesn't work that way. I've been taught all my life to let people walk all over you, why beats me. So creating boundaries for me is not an option.
Same I understand you. I suffer from severe depression and low self esteem and social anxiety. I don't know how to keep going 😢😢😢😢💔💔💔😭😭😭😭
Let's talk
May I suggest saying to yourself "...has never been an option... until now". Your situation sounds exactly the same as my childhood was, which made my adult life very difficult to navigate and make sense of.
@@IbarraAlejandro I'm here
@@lauragadille3384 you still here? How's it going with your family
Exceptional stuff here. A related book I read recently had a major influence on me. "The Art of Saying No: Mastering Boundaries for a Fulfilling Life" by Samuel Dawn
You just have to tell others how you wanna be treated, if you let them run you over ....you are done! And your self steem will end up in the trash and depressed.
I don't even bother with people since I'm always misunderstood. I just keep to myself. If I got anything to say, I write it on my phone. In real life , I just keep my mouth shut.
This video helped me understand bondres a lot more
Practically very apt to establish boundaries to safeguard our mental and emotional health.
I love your channel. It has beautiful education content with cute art that doesn’t make me feel boring. I learn a lot from every videos.
Wish you guy all the best!
Things like ridicule content and judgement can harm our emotions
Ltlickme: aight ima head out since y’all don’t appreciate my work
I have two major boundaries: don’t mess with my stuff without asking first and stay an arm’s length away from me as I HATE being touched... had someone (low IQ) not understand why I would always chase her away for not respecting my boundaries... just hearing her name is a trauma trigger for me now...
I understand you on the first boundary *very well*
You sound a lot like me I just try to bear it I don't chase my friend away
Timestamps
1:14 1. Your emotional health is linked to boundary setting
2:00 2. You deserved to be heard and understood
3:02 3. Sometimes situation calls for assertiveness
3:46 4. It allows for growth of self-awareness
4:31 5. They create healthy relationships
I'm immersed in this. I read a book with a similar theme, and I was completely immersed. "The Art of Saying No: Mastering Boundaries for a Fulfilling Life" by Samuel Dawn
Never cross the line
It’s so hard when it’s your mother insisting on controlling your relationship. I try to set boundaries then she goes hard out on the guilt and shame and complains to the rest of the family how badly I treat her. They then get involved.
Her: I know you have boundaries, but...
Me: Well, don't push them.
This was a hard one to watch, but I'm glad I did. Thank you.
As someone who is a bit too good at going up to a boundary, please just say it if something goes to far