Outrage And Anger Cannot Be Our Default
Vložit
- čas přidán 27. 05. 2024
- Hey everyone - hit like and subscribe to see what we produce next!
I'm an Anglican Priest in the Diocese of Nova Scotia and Prince Edward Island (my pronouns are he/him/his) and I get to serve in the Parish of St Margaret of Scotland, in the beautiful city of Halifax, NS, that sits on the ancestral and unceded territory of the Mi'kmaq people. Email me at rev.ed.onlineministry@gmail.com and I will do my best to respond.
You can support us through patreon... www.patreon.com/user?u=32426782
To make a donation to the parish - one time or monthly - just click
www.canadahelps.org/en/charit...
Looking for live stream church services... Follow us on Facebook at / stmargofscothfx
God bless you and keep you!
“Only in the darkness can you see the stars.” ~ Martin Luther King Jr.
I hope you all see a beautiful flower today🌻🌺🌹
🌸🏵️🌹🌹🌹💮🌼🥀
🎵🎶 I'm looking over a four-leafed clover that I've overlooked before...🎶🎵
Outrage & anger are like an addiction, the first step to inner peace is admitting you have a problem!
No, they are normal. Humans are wired for survival. Any opposition to that is seen as a threat. We used to have lions and tigers and bears. Today we have ideology that threatens our very existence. To say they are addictions is to a) misunderstand addiction and b) to misunderstand human nature. It's elevating to say that, isn't it. "IIII don't have anger but if you do, then you're addicted to it" is petty.
I am REALLY THANKFUL that I subscribed to this channel.
I am REALLY THANKFUL that you are REALLY THANKFUL that you subscribed to this channel.
And I say amen!
When I feel rage bubbling up inside me, I immediately go into prayer mode. It's better than counting to ten and usually results in an appropriate and Jesus-like response.
Being outraged all day is a waste. As we age how do you want to live? Outraged? Angry? Life is a mess live it how you best can.
Rev. Ed, I'm not a Christian, but for some reason, one of your videos popped up in my suggestions. I've become a huge fan. I don't view things in the "biblical Christian" sense, I view things in the "moral human" sense. You, sir, are a breath of fresh air in the way that you present your messages. Thank you for your content. I'll continue to watch your content - it inspires me to be better.
THIS!
THIS, THIS, THIS!
I call myself the friendly neighborhood atheist when I post. Some of the many reasons I left Christianity is it was exhausting to always be so outraged because hate and anger…
There’s a lot of us here listening to a Reverend preaching a religion we aren’t a part of…
Because the lack of hate is so refreshing…
The honesty is amazing.
And the Reverend is genuine.
@@EverettVinzant I see NOTHING in this man but love, respect, and kindness. He brings BOTH religion and politics to the simple HUMAN perspective. If you've never heard of her, look up the Lutheran pastor Nadia Bolz-Weber. She is also amazing.
@@StephenBlackWolf I totally agree with your assessment of the Reverend. When funds present themselves, I will look into your recommendation. Thank you.
Lol, The Reverend is human. He gets very angry about "Prosperity Gospel" preachers!
@@contrafax I’ll accept that. I have a low tolerance for bull sh… nonsense too.
I had one man go ballistic because I didn't know the exact tint formula for "Vikings purple". He demanded to talk to my manager. I wondered what example he was setting for the two small children he had with him. He needed the paint for a summertime game board. My mom had a favorite saying. "Tell them to go to Hell in such a way that they are looking forward to the trip". That would have been her way to "be nice to them".
Your friendly neighborhood atheist with an insight…
I AM OUTRAGED that you would say that anger cannot be our default…
HOW DARE YOU….
Now I am going to go back to sleeping furiously and rage sipping my coffee!
On this talk I almost want to ask… shouldn’t this be obvious?
But, I know I’ve been victim of missing the obvious, so I’m glad you offered this reminder.
Thanks Reverend.
Thank you Reverend, uplifted my spirit today. Love one another.
Outrage and anger are spontaneous reaction to perceived threat.
They both communicate more than individuals think they do.
They communicate fear and an internal evaluation of one’s own vulnerability.
That empowers the person with whom You are interacting.
We need to be on our own side.
Thank you so very much for your words.
I've shared this story in a longer form here a cpl years back so here's the short story: as a young teen I was courting a girl in my neighborhood. her father was often perturbed by his nextdoor neighbors who weren't "bad people " they just weren't church folk. He said to me, of them, in exasperation, "I hope they hit the lottery and can move to a better neighborhood!"
"Fall victim to anger" is a very good phrase to describe what happens to people. I always thought it was the adrenaline high that people seek.
Anger and outrage are SO MUCH easier than tolerance and patience. Besides which, it's addictive: for some people, it feels good and makes them feel powerful---even when all that fit-throwing accomplishes nothing. That still doesn't mean that we should give in to it.
An observation I’d like to offer.
Consider leaving out the word tolerance. No one likes to be tolerated. If it’s all the same to you, maybe the word acceptance would be a better one to consider.
I only point this out because I’m having to tell myself constantly, “acceptance and patience.” Not because I’m reminding myself to do this for others, but because I need it from others, and I hope by showing them acceptance and patience they will reciprocate. It’s selfishness for a good cause.
@@EverettVinzant You're right that nobody like to be tolerated---but there are things I will tolerate without accepting them, myself. I'm not sure I can find another word that means "put up with" but not "accept." Suggestions?
@@user-qj8uc4tb8n Would it help if we both narrowed acceptance to accepting a flawed human trying?
Their method may be questionable, sometimes people don’t know better, and we all perform better when we’re not being yelled at…
I’m not saying accept a threatening situation, I’m saying accept that sometimes our presumptions lead us to inaccurate conclusions?
Am I headed in a more acceptable direction?
@@EverettVinzant No one likes to be tolerated? I like being tolerated. As long as people don't chase me down the street with an axe, I'm good. I don't need them to welcome me into their lives or befriend me or anything. I don't need praise, only them to leave me alone and I'm the happiest I can be. You remind me of my managers asking what they could do to make the workplace better and that question always stunned me. As long as they leave me alone to do my job and don't yell or swear at me, I'm good. It seems excessive to me to ask for stuff like "we need a ping pong table" or anything else beyond a chair, a desk, a computer to do my job and peace and quiet.
@@octavianpopescu4776 Tolerance is putting up with a persons presence because you are required to. Acceptance is a choice. Some of what you described was acceptance (giving you what you need, not what other people think you need). Acceptance doesn’t require praise. You’ve jumped to conclusions, put words in my mouth, and smothered my comment in a layer of nonsense. That doesn’t mean I don’t accept you.
It seems to me that a lot of people love their anger and outrage, if for no other reason than it gives them an excuse for ruining someone else's day, thereby making them feel better about themselves.
Kindness and patience are becoming rare among some folks.
I love your channel, man ! Very appropriate and well-timed lesson , Reverend Ed! I used to get so angry 😠 😡 👿 😤 at the non-stop stream of news filled with violence, crime, political campaign season nonsense, and so forth ; however, I've been limiting my news viewing to 1-2 hours per day and it seems to help me remain calmer and more centered . Do I still feel emotional 🤧 😔 at all the injustices that occur each day ; of course, but every once in a while, I see good news and try to focus on that instead 😀! My local church has been growing by adding new souls into the family and we've been especially blessed by getting a new, younger preacher, who's very smart and delivers a very powerful sermon each Sunday morning service.
Amen Thanks Rev Ed great Rant!!!!!! ..Thru out life driving you always wander why people are in such a rush, Anger in driving is not good , Allways be a defensive driver...Its like drivers passing you they always hit a traffic 🚦 light they didn't gain anything, great message on anger.... Funny if he knew you were a Minister... God Bless 🕊️
Although I already know what Rev. Ed is saying and it is true, I need to be reminded. Thank you.
I enjoyed the reference to Road House -- (Patrick Swayze and Sam Elliott). I finally, after many years, started an ongoing conversation with the Almighty -- much like Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof. It seems strange after awhile to believe we can put Him out of our mind.
I am encouraged by His words to Cain: “Why are you angry? Why so downcast? 7 If you are doing what is good, shouldn’t you hold your head high? And if you don’t do what is good, sin is crouching at the door - it wants you, but you can rule over it.” You can rule over it. (Genesis 4:6-8)
Amen!
Amen❤
absolutely amen
I decided years ago that I don't have the luxury of immortal life to indulge in anger and outrage. What I learned was the body keeps the score. Besides, it's more fun to be kind. It's confuses the one feeling the anger.
Be nice? You mean go high? Screw that… Every time we go high, they take out our legs...
If you know that's their next move, you can still go high, but wear shin gaurds😉
"Go for the eyes, Boo! Go for the eyes!"
There's more to it than that. It's not about having some moral high ground in the eyes of others, it's about you maintaining your balance. You're hurting yourself by being angry. Let me give you an example: a while ago there was some guy who was mocking me in YT comments and I told him to go ahead and insult me, if it makes him feel any better. Why? He/she was angry at me and I wasn't doing it for some moral high ground, I was doing it because I realized it didn't really matter. Words on a screen don't hurt me and in the grand scheme of things: I honestly don't even remember what the argument was about exactly, I don't even remember the person's name. Something political. But that person still lost, he/she felt better for a moment and? He/she was still angry afterwards, because his/her problem was still there. So what exactly did that person win by venting his/her anger at me? Nothing. Not money, not status, nothing. So why would I respond in anger to someone who's only hurting himself/herself with a negative poisonous mindset? They said their piece and the sun still rises in the East, life goes on and there are more important things than social media outrage. I tend to treat YT comments like banter, but some treat it like a war or something. So, it's not just a matter of moral high ground, it's a matter of pragmatism.
🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️
Hi Rev Ed as a generally nice person, who'd absorbed Jesus' messages about turning the other cheek, and championing Peace 🕊️ from a very young age, because kids can be cruel, and bullying them becomes fun
I learned to withdraw and avoid conflict as often as possible
But these life lessons require someone to grow teeth and a spine and get a thicker skin out of necessity To survive and not be manipulated and trampled upon
So maintaining a turn the other cheek And being too meek Sadly doesn't make finding balance any easier
I heard a brief recollection by Harvey Korman of the Carol Burnett era recall a life lesson brought by Carol, as Harvey could be prickly to put it mildly So when Carol Burnett, who is known for her kindness, put him in his place one day, it scared 😳 the Hell out of him
Became kinder from that day forward
I’ve learned that it’s okay to be angry!!
As long as no one knows 🤣🤣
I saw a bumper sticker that read “Be Kind - We are all Idiots”.
I don't know about "us all", but I know that I am. My son hates when I say this about myself (and mean it).
Uli at the train-station was getting angry. Elena had been yelling at me for not giving her enough money. "How can you take this guff from her? You just brought her breakfast and everything." I explained that she probably had a bad day (life) and needs more than she knows to accomplish. I further stopped him from trying to enlist me in his anger-team. "She's not the one with whom I'm angry. Don't hang onto your anger about her anger. It's a maze without exit. You'll never get out of here that way." Love.
I hate when people do that: using the word "idiot" or "stupid". It's extremely rare for me to consider someone stupid (I think I've only ever met 5 people max I'd call idiots in all my life). It seems disrespectful. Plus, these words are always thrown around by people trying to get some psychological upper hand over others, like narcissists or psychopaths. That's why I always tell people: never allow anyone to talk to you like that, not even yourself. You make mistakes, sure, we all do, but you're not an idiot, we're not idiots.
"If you're outraged at everything, can you be really outraged about anything?" That is a REALLY good question to ask myself.
Amen
Just look how Jehovah got about Sabbath breaking, strange fire or Jericho loot, of course.
Left Him maybe, so worn out... he had no energy left, for slave trades, blood libels, or Inquisitions, later.
To, well - find as detestable, anyway.
Anger can be quite draining - and constant anger, more greatly so.
I've started playing a CD with Alan Jackson hymns when I drive. It helps me stay calmer and not mouth off so often at others.
Thank you Rev Ed Trevors. 😎 ❤ just a thought. Hug your puppy or cat or better yet. Think of Jesus. Remember what would Jesus do 😎
I remember a Thomas Sanders video where he completely ignores anxiety(one of his many characters based on emotions) and without anxiety he stops caring about what anyone thinks of him. It leads to him not caring about hygiene, or keeping promises, or being nice to his friends. The moral of the video was that all emotions are good in the right amounts.
When you said that some stress is good for a person, it just made me think of that and now I want to rewatch all the sanders sides videos☺
In the words of the great St. Isaias Cube: "Checketh thyself before you wrecketh thyself."
Sounds like the overall message is, don't be reactionary. Makes sure you act with deliberation, once you're in control of yourself.
I liked the part at the end about being outraged all the time. I'm the same with swears. I avoid using them too often, so people will notice when I do use them. When people swear all the time, it just becomes meaningless filler.
it's almost as if the balance was tipped during covid...not blaming the virus. just the circumstances surrounding life at the time. I'm also not giving outrage and anger an excuse - I think the sense of panic and helplessness burst the fragile bubble of assumed control. thanks, Rev!!
'Human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires' - how perfectly stated. Hopefully i quoted it right. Commenting here in am attempt to commit to memory.
Thank you.
Anger can feel like power, but it is weakness if allowed to run out of control. There was a meditation book I liked called 30 Days to Overcome Anger by Harper Daniels. People react with anger so much.
I tell you what, people like that are the reason I'm glad I can't drive. Road Rage gets people killed.
Pretty much everything now is so instant and fast-paced in general, it's become incredibly easy to find something to distract ourselves.
So "we're" not really working through whatever is going on. 😞
Thank you for this vid. It gets to the heart of the matter without anger or rancor. Outrage and anger develop hair triggers, hypersensitivity, continuously monitoring the environment. It becomes a way of life (if it can be called that). These emotions, and related emotions, strip life of its pleasures and joy. Outrage and anger become a way of life, guaranteed to drive away family and friends.
Worked for two partner's a long time, one would fly off the handle and blow snot bubbles at the slightest mistake, you'd think now what? His anger was his motivator. The other guy was quiet and didn't rattle easy, the worse the problem the lower his voice. When he whispered you knew you were in deep do-do. Only one of these men could be trusted and earned the respect and loyalty of his employee's.
for a long time, i felt primed for outrage all the time. It's so much one thing after another that i never felt like i had a chance to come down from one outrage before another came along. it's hard to get out of the anger habit, especially when righteous indignation is the most delicious thing in the universe.
We waste so much time being angry and negative. It can make us ignore the good things in our lives. It also makes us less likely to do the things we need to do.
Your example shows how it can be destructive. He was angry because you held him up. But rather than letting it go and moving on, he wasted even *more* time to follow you and yell at you. He could have saved himself a lot of time (and emotion) by moving on after once honking to remind you that the light was a green arrow.
I read an article about this yesterday that got me thinking about the negativity that keeps us from actually getting things done.
My cousin told me that he had no time to get angry - this 10 years before he died of old-age.
I think that you are wrong in your assessment: the driver wasn't angry because Ed held him up. That's a misreading. More likely is that he just was angry to begin with and Ed's behavior gave him an opportunity to lash his anger out. Only by understanding this was Ed able to accept his own mistake (the green arrow) and not get angry back. Love.
@@howardcohen6817 Ed was in his way. It doesn't matter if that was a physical obstruction or a time interference. He may have been angry already or on the edge of anger. He had a choice to ignore the situation and go on his way. He instead went out of his way to chastise Ed. He could have been understanding, but he chose negativity instead. So, I believe that you are mistaken in your assessment.
Wow another great video So True and I try to always think before I speak wait 3 seconds and say would I like this said to me? But I get angry a lot. I live in a where I don't know where the people got their Drivers License
Rev I'm sorry to hear about bad behavior in Canada, I always think you're nicer than us in the States. I always remember the lines of a song from fellow Canadians, Rush. "Quick to judge, quick to anger, slow to understand. Ignorance and prejudice and fear walk hand in hand. " I do think we all have to cultivate patience on a daily basis, it takes work but we can always get better. For many years I worked with people with disabilities and sometimes they would attack me pretty bad. But, how can you get mad at disabled people you're trying to help? I guess we can think of others as disabled by life circumstances and we have to practice self control at least.💖
Love.
Classic tragedy, when the hero's pursuit of justice without wisdom leads them to ruin. Stay balanced and keep your brain turned on. Remember what your real goal is, and don't let wrath become the goal.
Here’s a thinking outside the box perspective for you… Anger is a reaction. It does not occur without some sort of stimuli… The stimuli is necessarily a condition outside of your control… Meaning you have no confidence in the outcome… Now consider the precursors for FEAR!!!
Rage is the behavior of a coward.
Sounded like a coked up dentist. Their time is sooooo valuable. Sorry for the sarcasm.
Funny how most outrage is due to ignorance and confusion and how fast it disappears with a little patience and understanding.
💞💞💞
💜
Being calm and 'nice' to someone being a total jackass does a couple of things: it makes their foolishness obvious, and it throws them off. They expected a fight or yelling and had their response ready. "Sir/Ma'am, you need to leave" is not what they expect.
I was reading something about brains, human that is, and it may be that outrage and anger are our defaults. Basically, if you don't train the DLPFC or part of the frontal cortex to make healthy choices...it has an unfortunate habit of not down regulating anger or aggression in favor of more practical and socially useful choices. We have to train it, or have it be trained. In addition that area isn't fully matured until adulthood, and use of substances, either regulated or unregulated can lead to less "gyrification" of that area. Less area in which to learn how to immediately choose "reasonable" behaviors. A person who feels that another person is being unfair or hurting them can not only become angry, but want to use aggression to punish the other. It seems like that can be changed by making the person think no one is out to get them. The good news? It's not really about "self-control". Bad news? Your job, is fighting, without rage and frustration, the idea that the world is a dog-eat-dog kind of place. I know you are doing just that. I'm grateful. Keep going!
People are so impatient these days.
I recommend a video this week by MindShift called We Are All We Have. It puts anger and divisiveness and outrage into perspective in a simple and beautiful way.
Read the book "Unoffendable" by Brant Hansen. He says the same thing -- in depth. But it adds to this.
Please pray for the release of Leonard Peltier on June 10. It's been too long!
People have "weaponized" their cars. Everyone (believes) they must be in a hurry. It's blissful unconsciousness.
One thing I have learned from divisive politics is that anger is a weapon.
If properly utilized, anger can rouse a nation to its feet to protect the marginalized. However it can also be pointed at the marginalized, destroying what little they have.
We need to make sure it's aimed in such a way that's it's useful, and not merely destructive.
Was his four letter word “love”?
Traffic and unreasonable conduct seem synonymous.
lol, not excusing people getting angry, but that guy was probably not really mad at you. he was probably fed up with the thousand other people who did similar things that you did. as a person who is hyper aware when i drive, i am astounded to see most people driving in the clouds. still, i never yell at people or gesture. my town has been taken over by retirees and i just stopped driving. i have driven less than 1000mi/yr for the past couple of decades. now days, i just spend most of my time in my orchard and my workshops 🙂
my ex inlaws spent 20 assuming i was dumb, ignorant and not worty of the same respect as others...
a spent the first ±8 years not saying a thing and the next ±8 years trying explaining to them it was a problem...
i lost patience...
the last time i spoke with my ex mother in law, she said she would just accept the abuse [a fat fudging lie] and so should i.
i tried to be polite and acted as if she was truthfull and said she could do as she wanted, but i could not support it any longer. she said it two more times and i replied the same way.
she than said to my 49yo self that i said i wanted to be treated like other adult so that was what what she was doing.
she was visibly unawared that i'm a adult and that what she was doing was not treating me like others and already a tired running gag in 80's teen movies...
i snapped and insulted her and her husband [lack of] intellect, knowledge & politness.
you know what? they were insulted and still did not understand that insulting me was not O.K.
it was 8 months ago and i'm still shaking in rage writting this...
😢
I'm sorry, emmanuelb. It's tough needing to fight over an interpretation of a prejudice about a preconceived notion of what is. We don't need to, of course. And if someone wants to define who I am, I certainly needn't accept their definition which is often so far from my understanding that it's funny.
Someone else's anger does make me stop and reassess before I make a decision of my own. My own father's rage are things I still vividly remember about him - 40+ years after his death. Now that I'm much older than he had been, I'm able to let his "anger-lessons" go. Poor guy - victim of his own rage. Love.
yet it's been the norm for about the last 10 years... 😢
This is the default emotion for so many people today. I blame it on covid that made us less civil with one another because we were sequestered by ourselves. There is no patience with anyone's faults and yet we expect people to be patient with our own. Just amazing!
You are right about it being the default, but I'm inclined to think that all covid and what went with it did was accelerate what was already happening.
Think about the response so many people had at the beginning of the pandemic, refusing to follow basic guidelines - wear masks, stay 6 feet away from people, only go out when necessary, etc., because someone was telling them what to do and they didn't like it, like overgrown toddlers.
What was going on in the US in terms of lockdown was nowhere near as comprehensive as what people saw in other countries. Some friends of mine were stranded in Morocco at the beginning of the pandemic and through their lockdown. When they had to go out to the grocery store, only one of them could go at a time. Things like that.
Churchgoers whining about not being allowed to worship was a prime example. They didn't want to isolate, so they didn't. Church became a super spreader vehicle and a lot of people died as a result.
The US, in particular, was susceptible to the outrage machine because we'd already been living in it for almost four years, maybe longer, when the pandemic started.
I honestly can't say i have been smitten with actual anger or outrage. I can be really really annoyed, but haven't been consumed. I feel i don't have it in me.
The thing is, i seem to incur rage and anger in others only because i might say the wrong thing, or they percieve to be the wrong thing, because they are that sensitive. 🙄
I DO try to be more sensitive myself, but i sometimes dont get it right.🤔
Getting annoyed at something is not the same as coming to situations with anger and letting it out on the world. My getting angry is MY problem and not yours. Especially not if you are being sincere - which you are. Good to see you. Love.
Thankyou. ❤
SAM ELLIOTT is the name of the actor from RoadHouse.
Two minutes after uploading I remembered...
We misdirect our outrage at things that don’t matter. How about we direct it at hunger, homelessness and abuse in this grand country. Perhaps all that energy could fix some of these issues.
I love this piece! Although I would humbly submit one point which sounds like petty semantics, but isn't really. Perhaps what you're referring to is the fight/flight/freeze/fawn response? "Stress" is a nebulous term which can mean everything or nothing at all. F4 refers to a very specific set of neurologic and hormonal responses to a real or perceived life-threat. Professional outrage-generators have gotten especially skilled at hijacking the F4 response and applying it to these faux situations to the point that it's hard to tell the difference between a real life threat and the outrage talking points (until you've had a gVn waved in your face or been chased by an angry animal.) I think part of the solution here is to point to the difference between "outrage" and actual life-threats consistently and lovingly.
Will we use our words to pray, and speak life to things like Jesus said? Or will we magnify the circumstances and give the enemy greater power to kill, steal and destroy? Spread love ❤ Pray 🙏 Vote 💙
I blame you guys for my bad behavior because I really hate having personal responsibility.
The more intense the outrage of someone you encounter or the more intense a sense of outrage wells up within you the far more intense you should invoke the Presence of God in that situation.
Outrage blinds you from seeing the other person in the situation. Quick story: I was involved in a car accident a few days ago. We both hopped out of our cars. Talking trash, cursing, idle threats, one-upsmanship... We were saying *all* the things. Then there was a moment where we both just stopped and looked at each other. I didn't like the way I was behaving, and neither did he. So I said "Look, let's not escalate this any further. Let's just take our pictures and wait for the cops." He agreed.
A few minutes later, he came up to me and apologized, and I did the same. We talked about our perspectives on what happened without anger.
Turns out, he was a really nice guy. And because of my own outrage, I couldn't see that he was just reacting to a scary situation.
Outrage is only necessary during times of violence. But in fact, it's outrage during *interaction* that causes violence.
When you’re driving you should be attentive. Yes the man may have been overboard, but maybe you were the twentieth person who wasn’t paying attention. Driving is a serious business. Just like life, you’re in attention may cause stress. I’m always attentive of my surroundings so I rarely have to apologize for my indiscretions to others. So when confronted with an indiscretion and anger, accept your part and forgive him. Remember your actions caused his anger as well. Don’t blame forgive father.
As a card carrying member of the Satanic Temple, i approve of this message.
This video reminds me of another very good video called "You are evil and you must be destroyed" by Seth Andrews.
czcams.com/video/9fWL8NnuzoA/video.html
The video starts with a similar situation as yours, but it was Seth who was getting impatient with a guy at a toll booth. And it's mostly about what would it have cost him to stop and help, or how much time did he really lose? Very good.
Ed, if only more of your 'christian' bretheran would hear and understand your words.
If they did, there would be no need. Love.