INSIDE MY MIND PART. 1 | MY LAST HOPE | LET'S TALK | CLOSED CAPTIONS

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  • čas přidán 3. 07. 2024
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Komentáře • 393

  • @KawaiiKandikidPLURR
    @KawaiiKandikidPLURR Před 4 lety +5

    Thank you for spreading HONESTY not empty positivity

  • @SteviiLove
    @SteviiLove Před 4 lety +6

    I've been struggling a lot lately too honestly. It's not fun and it's made even more difficult when the people around you don't really get how difficult it can be. I know I may not be able to help, but know you're not alone ❤ here's a virtual hug 🤗

  • @mikee4462
    @mikee4462 Před 4 lety +3

    I love all the colors you use for makeup and your hair its just so beautiful and pleasing to watch

  • @whispersamungtrees
    @whispersamungtrees Před 4 lety +4

    This is an important message girl. Don't try to fix someone that's hurting, sulk with them, and listen.

  • @kdholden
    @kdholden Před 4 lety +3

    Hi Encina, thank you for sharing your honesty. Life is not always pretty. I am searching for happiness right now too and struggling. Thank you for making me feel like I'm not alone. And...make up always makes me feel better 🥰

  • @diamondintherough6276
    @diamondintherough6276 Před 4 lety +9

    This hit me so hard it gave me comfort and made me sad at the same time. comfort because im not alone. sad because i know this daily, weekly, hourly minute to minute battle. You work so hard climbing a mountain to reach some type of relief some type of better just to fall all the way back down to the bottom of the mountain again with not an ounce of energy left but have no choice but to get back at it up that damn mountain again. My greatest accomplishments are making it through another day and life shouldnt be that hard. God i hope you find some light to add to this dark world. Im searching for my light too. There has to be some relief somewhere. ill be thinking of you. I hope you get some peace ❤

  • @shelbynicole3386
    @shelbynicole3386 Před 4 lety +4

    sending you good vibes💞

  • @SandyWDZNI
    @SandyWDZNI Před 4 lety +4

    I don't want you to feel this way ... But it's nice to know someone feels the same way I do.
    Edit: you're gonna make me cry girl. I can't remember words in the way that you can't. Like not the way I should remember. Sometimes I forget what happened ten seconds ago and I can't remember.

  • @breannthorne-stanzell5990

    Thank you for being so real. It’s one thing to say, “It’s ok to not be ok.” It’s another to be real about the reality of what that means. We can know that, but do we ever really allow that? The best thing someone ever did for me was upon finding out I was having a bad brain thoughts day, they just said ok. No suggestions. No positive thoughts. Just accepting it. It made me feel better simply because I felt valid. I wasn’t ok. And that wasn’t a problem. It was acknowledged. I didn’t feel wrong. So, I see you. You’re not ok. And I’m here regardless of what that means for you. No other explanation needed. Just, I hear you’re struggling.

  • @canadianmum2040
    @canadianmum2040 Před 4 lety +2

    I relate to you way too much than I wish either of us was going thru I’m so sorry.
    Nobody in my city will even help me
    I’m at the end of my road.
    I hope you find someone to help you and I hope you have a friend or family that is at least supportive to you . I hope you are loved.

  • @DYKWINNING
    @DYKWINNING Před 4 lety +7

    Yeah it sucks when people try to be "supportive" but they're just reminding you of the pain.

  • @sandranorum6125
    @sandranorum6125 Před 4 lety +2

    I too hate when people say ”it’ll get better”. I know they mean well, I’m not mad at them. It’s hard to know what to say to someone who’s struggling. I really hope ECT will work for you 🙏🏻💕

  • @Bindybee130
    @Bindybee130 Před 4 lety +3

    I hope it goes well! I had ECT about 18 months ago and have just started having another round. Everyone reacts differently but ECT has been one of the best decisions of my life and I hope you achieve the same results

  • @AnnaNoel0287
    @AnnaNoel0287 Před 4 lety +3

    Wow, thank you Encina, I SO needed to hear this today! So glad this video popped up on my feed today, everything you said in this video resonated with me, as I too have had a lot of pain, struggle, and trauma in my life, and I too get the same kind of comments from ppl telling me “it’s ok things will get better, this too shall pass” blah blah blah, and I agree with you that sometime what you really wanna hear is the more empathetic response of “I’m so sorry you feel this way, I can’t imagine how hard that must be, is there anything I can do to help?” That always feels better than a half-assed “things will get batter” response, because most of the time it seems like ppl only say those things to like end the conversation because they actually DONT care or don’t wanna hear about what you’re going through, they just wanna ignore it and brush it under the rug, and that just doesn’t ever help. So thank you for your courage in speaking your truth, and I genuinely hope we both find something that will help make life a lil better for us both. Much love to you 💖

  • @ryk6207
    @ryk6207 Před 4 lety +3

    I’m sorry you feel that way. I can’t imagine how difficult it must be.
    The story of the girl with alopecia was a good example, I think.

  • @chantalwalton4886
    @chantalwalton4886 Před 4 lety +3

    Everything you said was spot on for me...good lord. *hugs* thank you. I'm so sad you've not been doing well...I can only watch and comment. But I hope you have success with the new therapy.

  • @deannafoster9721
    @deannafoster9721 Před 4 lety +3

    I get it. I know exactly what you're talking about. I'm not going to say it's going to get better. I just hope for all of us, it will. What I've come to know is a neutralized flatline of numbness that I will always accept. I will just always exist in nothingness - not hurt - not happy. Just floating through this life. What an odd life this has been. But I know other parts (alters) want so more. They are more ambitious. They believe they can have the world in the palm of their hand, yet won't fully take over because I think the reality of it not happening is too much to handle. They are also aware how the world can be. Some get more depressed than I get. More angry. Less numb. And when I am co-conscious with them the numb existence becomes existing...and I'm suddenly hit with the reality things aren't okay. We're always told it's okay not to be okay, but society doesn't allow for that. My family doesn't, either. Society wants everyone to be okay. To fit in. To have fun like they do. To be some kind of normal they can relate to. For us....it's never some middle ground or in between. It's an all over the place roller coaster that sometimes goes up, or down...or upside down. No matter what you are loved, Encina. You matter and are loved. ~ Junebug.

  • @sylvestr79
    @sylvestr79 Před 4 lety +3

    It’s a controversial therapy, but my grandmother had it back in the day and she lived an amazing life after

  • @EFantasic
    @EFantasic Před 4 lety +3

    Take care of yourself, dear. You have so much love being sent your way. Do what you feel will help you best. It's your mental health and no one else's.

  • @kathycarter2940
    @kathycarter2940 Před 4 lety +2

    I feel so sad for you and I Thank You for being so honest about how you are feeling. I wish there was more people like you who say it how it! You are one Very Strong Women! I wish you all the luck and I pray this treatment does help!! Thinking of you and sending you love from Australia. 😊💜💞

  • @nicolecourtney8688
    @nicolecourtney8688 Před 4 lety +2

    My mother in law has had ECT and it was the best thing ever according to her. No other therapies had worked for her and this did so i have high hope for you

  • @haveagoodday5737
    @haveagoodday5737 Před 4 lety +3

    I'm 52 I have DID, CPTSD, GAD, C-DEPRESSION, BPD. I was diagnosed at 15. I started getting molested and beat at 4 that is when my DID started. My life through all these years of psychiatrist, psychologist, medication, mental facilities, I have never gotten better. I have Severe cognitive issues I go to therapy every week for it. My depression is worse. I no longer leave my house except to see Doctor's and I stopped dating 4 yrs ago at the same time pushed all my friends out of my life. I have felt hopeless for so long that is the only way to describe it. I switch more often because like you it's too much to function.
    If this electric shock works for you I will be so happy for you. I can't wait to hear about it. Love & Light Beautiful 🦄💫💙💫🧚

  • @happymaskmajora8175
    @happymaskmajora8175 Před 4 lety +3

    Im sad that youre not doing well. I truly hope that changes for you soon. On a positive note... Your honesty about it has made me feel like I'm not alone. I feel alone a lot, and hearing you be so real about this.. I just feel less alone. So thank you for that 💖

  • @roxannetrepanier5320
    @roxannetrepanier5320 Před 4 lety +4

    Sending you good energies. You are one of the most beautiful human I have seen inside and out. Just know that everytime that I see your name, I get a smile ❤️

  • @joopyjazz1
    @joopyjazz1 Před 4 lety +2

    I’ve been so detached and dissociated. My therapist admitted that since we’ve tried so much, if it helps and doesn’t harm then it should be tried. Being completely disconnected is the only time I feel peace anymore.

  • @mandapanties
    @mandapanties Před 4 lety +2

    In my experience with the medical industry in America we really have to be our own advocates way too often. Like doctors, therapists, psychologists etc half the time haven't even figured out what's wrong with me/what I need, and don't take my needs seriously enough, until *i* provide the answer, and they do tests or whatever (depending on the situation) and realize I'm right. It's really frustrating. I'm not a doctor. But I get no help or answers so I do all the research I possibly can until I think I've solved the issue and I go back and I'm right! Why do we have to do that when we're paying INSANE amounts for people who are trained and PAID to do this for us. I really relate to this entire video, and I know you don't see it, but you DO have a really good way of explaining things. Also we love the exact same color combo. I'm obsessed with the blue/purple/pink spectrum.

  • @Horrorbotyt
    @Horrorbotyt Před 4 lety +2

    You are such an inspiration. I suffer from dissociative identity disorder as well, and your channel was one of the first ones I found after I was diagnosed. Your videos, whether they are related to DID or not, help me get through days when I'm feeling invalid or just a little lonely and sad. You have inspired my system and I to start our own DID awareness project (on insta, sadly we don't have the tools to do youtube at the moment) and I cannot thank you enough for that. You are an amazing person and you have an audience who cares about you. Stay strong

  • @caylatuckerman9986
    @caylatuckerman9986 Před 4 lety +2

    Sending you lots of love and prayers. You got this love 💕

  • @creative_panda_system2852
    @creative_panda_system2852 Před 4 lety +11

    I did ECT and my memory isn’t better in fact I forget thing as they happen. Literally I can pop my pills in my mouth and put the water down and I’m like did I just take my medication? Thank goodness I have a pill tray because if not I most likely would take me meds repeatedly because of how quickly it goes out my head. My doctor explain it’s because of the ECT I had 5 years ago.

  • @babbbysweetpea
    @babbbysweetpea Před 4 lety +4

    Woah, I haven’t checked up on you in a few months and I’m so sad to hear that you’re feeling hopeless. I’m right there with you. I feel extremely done with life

  • @louisel7515
    @louisel7515 Před 4 lety +2

    I got teary-eyed listening to you Encina. I truly hope this therapy will help you. Thinking of you 💜

  • @LuvBugBlaqkHart
    @LuvBugBlaqkHart Před 4 lety +1

    The memory loss, the inability to articulate clearly, the cringe of people saying "things will get better" when they have no evidence other than their wishful and dismissive attitude, the laundry list of treatments that didn't work, things getting worse and worse as I get older (even when I am trying my hardest), the lack of empathy from others, and the deep loss of hope... I can deeply relate to all of this. I am so sorry sweet one. You don't deserve this. I wish I could offer my strength but I barely have any myself. You're such a genuine person and I am so sorry you are going through this. I wish I could do something to help you and so many others going through similar things. I think that feeling just adds to the hopelessness. The only thing I can do is react out and let you know you're not alone in your suffering... as bittersweet as that is I'm glad to know that I'm not "crazy" / "abnormal" (knowing others are also feeling the same). Sending all of my love 💌

  • @patricialovelace9689
    @patricialovelace9689 Před 4 lety +3

    Encina, has anyone informed you about the drawbacks to ECT? There was a period of time when it was not being used because it caused short-term memory loss. I am actually surprised that it is back with a vengeance as an effective form of therapy. I'm not sure if this is what is causing your memory issues, but I am sure if it isn't that, then it is certainly not helping! In being a spiritual therapist, I had delved into the issues of trauma and developing the will to live. One of the key factors to having the desire to get out of bed and to LIVE is to realize you have a purpose and to live that purpose. Finding your purpose and finding what brings meaning into your life are all factors into feeling fulfilled. Viktor Frankl, a survivor of the Holocaust and a psychotherapist, started and did his work in Logotherapy (the therapy of meaning). His book, "Man's Search for Meaning" molded me in my life when I was a young teen and if you never had the opportunity to read it, I recommend doing so. I know you don't want to hear "more advice", but I also realize that you are experiencing suffering and would like to extend a way that may add to your comfort level.... Many blessings to you and peace! Patty L.

  • @sarahm8584
    @sarahm8584 Před 4 lety +2

    Gah this is the most honest I’ve ever hear anyone talk. I just found you and I’m so happy I did. Please let me know if you want to talk, whatever. This is how I feel as well and my heart just pours out to you and yours. Idk what to say but I’m so sorry and hugs. If I could I would take all the pain.. idk what to say other than I absolutely look up to you and if I’m not giving up y’all aren’t either. It really hurts me to see someone feel this way. You’re wonderful and unique and one of the few who are genuine and real and idk, I’m just so sorry. I hope everything goes well tomorrow and you have a real friend here. Pls update and keep your chin up. If I can help in any way. Much love and respect.

  • @michellea9471
    @michellea9471 Před 4 lety +2

    Fight for urself
    Ur so worth it !

  • @MissTLane89
    @MissTLane89 Před 3 lety +5

    My parents tell me that my dissociative state will get better. Little do they know it’s been 3 years of constant “autopilot”. I just want to experience the world again. Something as simple as clarity, and calmness seems so far away. I wish I personally had a friend that understood. Please keep us updated.

  • @katbland9149
    @katbland9149 Před 4 lety +4

    Thank you for sharing! looking forward to hearing more about your journey. I am sorry you haven't been feeling well lately. Sending you so much love and support.

  • @buongiorno6411
    @buongiorno6411 Před 4 lety +3

    Wishing you the best

  • @urmammy84
    @urmammy84 Před 4 lety +2

    Stay strong honey. Sending love and positive vibes your way. ♡

  • @MissVirmaCaramia
    @MissVirmaCaramia Před 4 lety +2

    Encina!!! I love you!!! I wish I could give you a hug! I hope all goes well! 💖 Lots of success on your way, you magical being 💖

    • @MissVirmaCaramia
      @MissVirmaCaramia Před 4 lety

      And you know what... it's true... things may get worse... Time goes by and as humans, we tend to deteriorate, physically, and psychologically. Some people have it easier than others... My intention is not to make you feel worse. Reality is a badass beotsch sometimes. Nevertheless - whenever you can - try to direct your focus on all that you have accomplished so far. All the miles stones. All the challenges and how you won them over.
      As you know, there will be some days that may feel slightly 'better' than others.
      Sometimes, as painful and torturing as it may feel, all we can/should do is sit with that feeling of emptiness, or total loss of self, belonging, or orientation. I have been trying to welcome the experience more instead of fighting it. Trying to feel it and let it be. It has worked 'better' than whenever I tried to fight it.
      Your strength and how you have managed to push through ALL this time are amazing. You may not realize it but you do have superpowers. 💖 I do not know personally but if you touch people's hearts in real life like you have touched mine online, you are a true gift to this world.
      The frustration and how trying to constantly "distract yourself from sadness" - Encina Severa) can and will take all of you... I hope you find it within to embrace all of you (yes, the pain too) and love it, accept and nurture it, as much as you can.
      All that I have written may sound useless... (I suffer from depression... I feel ya). I am just listening to my instinct telling me to write this.
      There is magic in you, Encina. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and creativity too!
      All that you are is valuable. Please, know it and remember it. Toi toi toi for tomorrow.

  • @veloxicality
    @veloxicality Před 4 lety +1

    I will say these videos embody some of the hardest moments for me to experience with others because its seeing someone who you know is a good person and care for only to see them struggle without any real way to help alleviate that pain. Its also seeing that they want to keep working on themselves and getting to that point of true happy for themselves and time and time again life happens in unfavorable ways and with it hopelessness that nothing changes arises. But at the end of the day you can only hope that at least even the small moments of joy and memories can help lighten the hardships... even if it is just in that moment.

  • @royaldiggy
    @royaldiggy Před 4 lety +2

    I hope ECT works well as a treatment for you. It is possible that your doctors have not offered it before because it is still quite controversial. 70-90% success rate is pretty good, I sincerely hope you will be successful. What you are going through seems incredibly hard and i can’t begin to imagine how you were able to make it through all this. You seem so nice and bright and bubbly, i hope the way you feel inside will reflect that after therapy❤️ good luck with your consultation tomorrow! ❤️

  • @Brooke.not.brook.
    @Brooke.not.brook. Před 4 lety +2

    I certainly cannot imagine what you are going through and I will never understand what you have had to endure in your life. But this video 100% made sense to me and I empathize so much. I've struggled for as long as I can remember as well with depression and anxiety. My anxiety is sky high right now with everything going on and I have had those moments of hopelessness as well, genuinely not knowing what to do.
    I really hope that this works for you and helps you. I'm here for you, and I truly am sorry you're going through this. I cannot imagine how tough it has been for you, and I cannot imagine the immense strength you have that has gotten you through it all.

  • @lacyross5211
    @lacyross5211 Před 4 lety +3

    “The desire for a more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience.” Alan Watts. I know this is what I needed to hear today. I spend so much time obsessing about change that I lose sight of my already existing experiences.

  • @hannahkear5630
    @hannahkear5630 Před 4 lety +2

    people are here for you! u are important and loved and have inspired so many people. u are so strong. u can get through anything.

    • @EncinaSevera
      @EncinaSevera  Před 4 lety

      Thank you so very much hun. You are amazing

  • @reniimuskovics
    @reniimuskovics Před 4 lety +3

    So excited for your videos!

  • @nachobabe1344
    @nachobabe1344 Před 4 lety +2

    7:02 This exactly. I totaly get what you're saying and I even understand the struggle to find words or remember things. It's all part of depression and I hate it so much. It makes me feel like I'm losing my intellect. And I am in therapy and I tried different medications, but it doesn't help. I hope ECT helps you and I hope that you can share your experience on here, if you're comfortable with it. Best wishes.

  • @iwfccla
    @iwfccla Před 4 lety +4

    I’m so sorry you are struggling- just remember you help a lot of people, even when you are feeling exhausted and tired and fed up and hopeless- you are not alone. 💚 I hope you get relief some day, hopefully soon! Love you dear💚💚

  • @harmonee_76
    @harmonee_76 Před 4 lety +4

    You did such a great job at explaining empathy! Pointing out the silver lining isn’t empathy!! Love and care to you!

  • @kazphae
    @kazphae Před 4 lety +2

    Take care of yourself. Sorry you're going through this 😢💙

  • @spearce133
    @spearce133 Před 4 lety +3

    You're a beautiful person, inside and out!

  • @sillyredhead1401
    @sillyredhead1401 Před 4 lety +2

    Encina, I am so sorry that you have been struggling for so long and you are really feeling little hope. My heart goes out to you that you are dealing with so much right now. I am so proud of you that despite all of it that you are moving forward with the best of your ability even if it is just the simple desire to have better. There is some part of you that recognizes how precious you are and knows that you dont deserve what you're experiencing. While I dont know the full extent of all that you have and are experiencing but I do know the pithole that deep depression is. You are not the depression, no matter how much it tries to lay blame on you. With all my heart I do pray your consultation goes well and it can be a catalyst to turning things around. Please, let us know if there is any way that we can support you best during this time. Hold on beautiful girl (inside and out). I wish that I could reach out and give you the biggest and most embracing hug of comfort. This may sound cheesy or weird, but my heart cries with yours. I dont think there are English words that can explain it any better.

  • @CandysChannel
    @CandysChannel Před 4 lety +2

    Encina, you’re so resilient for still being here after all your trauma and depression. Because of HIPAA’s laws of confidentiality, I doubt you will be able to film inside the office or anywhere in the office. I hope it goes super well for you and that ECT brings you much needed relief!!! 💚💜

    • @EncinaSevera
      @EncinaSevera  Před 4 lety +2

      HIPAA would make it to where I couldn't film where other patients were... If it was just me speaking to the doctors or if it was just me that was being filmed while the procedure was happening then the choice would be up to the doctor and if they were comfy with me filming or not. it's worth a shot to ask though. and thank you! I hope it helps as well.

  • @TheDolphinlady416
    @TheDolphinlady416 Před 4 lety +2

    Always here for you sweetie. And your so right none of us has a clue as to the long road you have traveled with what you endured and what it has done to you. I am keeping up good vibes this next step your taking works :-) Sending love and hugs. Looking forward to hear how it all goes.

  • @btru2urself
    @btru2urself Před 4 lety +6

    I did ECT and I don’t recommend it unless it’s life or death, you can get life long memory loss. Message me if you have questions

  • @sapphiregraver7906
    @sapphiregraver7906 Před 4 lety +2

    Hugs xx

  • @mariamatmos4506
    @mariamatmos4506 Před 4 lety +4

    ECT usually affects memory, so if you are already struggling with it, I am not sure that it’s going to be the best option...I really hope it works. Lots of love!

  • @lavenderlemonade4322
    @lavenderlemonade4322 Před 4 lety +2

    I’m sorry you’re going through all of that. Much love to you ❤️ Some things that MAY be a helpful adjunct to what you are doing - take omega 3’s and dark leafy greens, consider taking a b vitamin complex, and consider a probiotic. Nutrition plays a really really large role in mental health. I know for a fact the omegas will help the word finding difficulties. You may want to also look at nootropics (a good example is Lion’s Mane mushroom supplement).

  • @LongSoulSystem
    @LongSoulSystem Před 4 lety +2

    Sending lots of safe love and strength 💕

  • @ravencentral854
    @ravencentral854 Před 4 lety +3

    Good luck Encina. I am sending you all the support energy I can.

  • @titaslife2434
    @titaslife2434 Před 4 lety +2

    I love you Encina.

  • @FalynnFromGrace
    @FalynnFromGrace Před rokem +2

    What you’re describing is called toxic positivity. It’s detrimental to everyone’s mental well-being and folks should knock it off.
    Things don’t always get better but we can still lead fulfilling lives despite that fact!
    Toxic positivity makes the person preaching their nonsense feel better while making the person struggling (who only needed empathy in the first place) feel guilty. Empathy conquers all. When one displays true empathy, toxic positivity doesn’t even cross one’s mind.
    Don’t ever let anyone make you feel guilty for needing a shoulder. ❤

  • @dominiquesiwulich4746
    @dominiquesiwulich4746 Před 4 lety +2

    I just wanna hug you.. sending lots of love your way.. please hang in there.. we love you so much!

  • @094Dasha
    @094Dasha Před 4 lety +2

    Wow me too
    Im going through this too
    Shock therapy? Hmm....
    All the best to you Encina !
    I know exactly what you are going through...good luck on your journey!

    • @sirens4562
      @sirens4562 Před 4 lety +3

      I’m also going through this🥺

  • @caylatuckerman9986
    @caylatuckerman9986 Před 4 lety +2

    Good luck tomorrow love 💗

  • @melklomp6875
    @melklomp6875 Před 4 lety +2

    Life is fucking hard I hope you continue to put this type of video out. I think it important for people to hear. I truly hope this ECT helps you. Much RESPECT TO YOU 🤘🏳️‍🌈😎

  • @BeautySleepforsleepingbeauty

    Thank so much for sharing this! And thank you so much for enlightening on the fact that not everyone understands. Your explanation about the little girl it really sunk in to me. I've always tried to explain to my family why it's hard to stop feeling anxious. My brother and sister sometimes they don't understand how things they say hurt. My brother always tells me there is nothing to be afraid of or worry about and so on but what he doesn't get is that it's not a switch. I can't magically turn off my anxiety/depression. My sister sometimes will say things along the lines of I'm lazy or I'm not motivated enough or she'll push me to find a job when I'm already looking for one as it is. It's hard to describe to them what I'm feeling the fact is my social anxiety isn't going away and when I'm out and can have a panic attack it's not fun I've had seizures and done tests to see what's wrong but nothing was wrong with my brain. It's not easy to say to myself "go get a job" "be social" "be normal" but sometimes I do say those things. Even though sometimes there's not that hope left in you reminding yourself it's okay because nothing is wrong with not being okay it's not wrong to need more help or another way of looking at things.

  • @snert21
    @snert21 Před 4 lety +1

    Hi Encina! I have a chronic illness that makes me temporarily forget stuff and makes me lose my words (aphasia). It’s tough because you KNOW the words but they just won’t come out! Please just do your best to keep on keeping on. I’ve gone through a list as long as my arm for medications as well, failing 95% of them. And the ones that work don’t fix everything, and instead just keep me barely functioning. It’s so hard. It’s the hardest thing ever. I don’t have an answer for you on how to get better. I only wish that you don’t completely lose hope. I am happy to know of you in my life because it’s helped me to not feel so alone in my own illness. I can’t imagine what your struggles are like and I’m sorry you have to suffer so much. The only thing I can say is that you and your life have value, and you have added value to mine. I wish you luck with your treatment and I wish you the best. If you choose to continue making more videos, I’ll be there watching! Much love

  • @STARSTRUCKSTEVE0
    @STARSTRUCKSTEVE0 Před 4 lety +2

    You’re an inspiration.

  • @bellaninaslg1354
    @bellaninaslg1354 Před 4 lety +2

    Good luck!

  • @weaversystem9290
    @weaversystem9290 Před 4 lety +2

    Okay, I’m not even two minutes in and I relate so much already. Sorry your journey has been so rough, wish you didn’t have to suffer too but I’m grateful to know I’m not alone. I’ve done SO many types of meds/therapy and considered ECT. Hope it works for you! ❤️

  • @jennagitation
    @jennagitation Před 4 lety +6

    ECT can cause irreversible damage, but for those with self-harm issues I know it has been used successfully. You really need to weigh the pros and cons, then decide if you can live with the possible side-effects if it will help your mental health. I would also suggest looking up some studies on it, I'm sure there are people who will help explain the statistical bits if you're not familiar with how to interpret them.

    • @JenniferPage82
      @JenniferPage82 Před 4 lety

      And yes I agree I was just telling her to please look into it more because I have a cousin who has been doing it for years and he I don't recognize them anymore you no longer my cousin it has done so much damage to him that he does things I never thought in my life you would ever do

  • @insanitystrikes77
    @insanitystrikes77 Před 4 lety +2

    My husband had ECT for depression and schizophrenia. It helped some & was able to reduce the amount of meds he was taking. He did still have to stay on meds for both, but less meds and lower doses. It helped for several years, with the occasional slight schizophrenic episodes, usually only when he hadn’t slept very well in several days. But oh my at the memory loss. That was the worst part. He lost most of his memories for the previous year and still had short term memory loss for a long tome afterwards. Hopefully it will help you. Just be prepared for the memory loss bc apparently that is a huge side effect most ppl have. Which was never told to us by the doctors.

  • @charsparks2291
    @charsparks2291 Před 3 lety +4

    Hi Encina. I watched a couple of your videos with MedCircle. I feel compassion for what you are experiencing. You are very brave and strong. I also have some things I am dealing with, different than what you are walking through. I rely on the power of God through Jesus Christ to help me and heal me with everything in my life. I believe He is the real lover of our souls. May I suggest to you that while you are in doctors' care, to open your heart to Jesus. He is faithful and true. He is the source of Hope. Much love being sent your way Encina.

  • @justincase6068
    @justincase6068 Před 2 lety +2

    thank you for making these videos. I have no idea what DID is like but I get the feeling of false positivity that people unknowingly say about “it could be worse” mindset or the “it’ll get better” , it so is like well when is it going to be then? I just really resonated with that and my own traumas and self and I like to give my two cents if something really made me feel something. But much respect to being so honest and true with yourself because I can’t even do that. I truly hope you find something that works for you to be the happiest you can be💘

  • @veronihika
    @veronihika Před 3 lety +3

    The makeup is just so magical and mesmerizing!!! You are very brave

  • @nicolecourtney8688
    @nicolecourtney8688 Před 4 lety +2

    Also, Encina i hope you get through this ok 💓

  • @kirenjattan9885
    @kirenjattan9885 Před rokem +2

    I hate the it's going to get better, too.I get it a lot , especially the times sitting in a phych ward. Explaining to doctors that should know not to say this. I had shock therapy 10 years ago it helped for about 6 years. Then, I had to start meditation again

  • @laciebranza3591
    @laciebranza3591 Před 4 lety +2

    You’re right, your not perfect. BUT you’re YOU and I really fucking appreciate that. Thanks for being so honest about your struggles. It’s nice to know you’re not alone. 👑👍🏼💪🏼🙏🏼

    • @EncinaSevera
      @EncinaSevera  Před 4 lety

      I really appreciate your words. Seriously

  • @MeowMaids
    @MeowMaids Před 4 lety +2

    You are so vulnerable and inspiring. I'm so sorry you have been going through so much pain and uncertainty during your journey. I can only relate to those feelings as I struggle from CPTSD and know how frustrating it can feel to not feel okay on a continuous time frame. You are loved and cared for by so many and I just am hopeful for the next steps of your journey. Sending you lots of comfort. Also, your makeup is amazing and love how expressive you are and how you honor yourself by allowing yourself to express the depths of you 🌈❤️🤗

  • @LeanneZackowski
    @LeanneZackowski Před 4 lety +2

    I wish you all best and hope this electro shock therapy helps you. I was surprised you mentioned that and it had me a little worried because of the negative stigma behind it. If your doctors feels it will help you and you are 100% ok with doing it then I really do hope it helps you.

  • @nutelllica
    @nutelllica Před 4 lety +1

    Sending you love and light 💖💖💖 Thank you for sharing with us, I really hope ECT is exactly what you need!!

  • @KameoKit6963
    @KameoKit6963 Před 4 lety +5

    Sending lots of love. I'm not trying to be that guy lol, but, it may be worth talking with your doctor's about psychedelics. There's still not a ton of research, but the research that there is, is very promising for treatment of chronic / treatment resistant depression and anxiety. I haven't tried that yet but I'm willing to. My brother-in-law is constantly talking about how amazing they are.

    • @EncinaSevera
      @EncinaSevera  Před 4 lety +2

      yeah... doctors in Arizona don't consider that at all but let's just say, they haven't helped

  • @katlynmorford1231
    @katlynmorford1231 Před 4 lety +4

    I was raped the first time at 4, had bone cancer at 8 and 30 surgeries between ages 8-15, was on narcotics until 18 which were suddenly stopped and I was dependent. At 15 my dad died, then I had two bad car wrecks. Got stabbed three and a half years ago saving someone I don’t even like, cannot have children due to multiple medical issues. My colon and stomach barely work at all now and I’m always in pain. I have borderline personality disorder and PTSD, anxiety and depression. I can completely get what you are saying about being like numb and catatonic states and having to bring things up your doc should have suggested

    • @lori8885
      @lori8885 Před 4 lety +1

      Yr so strong I'm so sorry you went thorugh that weed might help but stay strong u made it this far 🙌🙌🙌🤗

  • @nammyohorengekyo3813
    @nammyohorengekyo3813 Před 4 lety +1

    I am so sorry you’ve been suffering for so long, Encina. I wish you the best of luck with your ECT consultation today!!!

  • @brenarosethorn8219
    @brenarosethorn8219 Před 4 lety +1

    Sending you all the love and Hope I have. ❤❤❤❤

  • @victoriarigby3625
    @victoriarigby3625 Před 4 lety +1

    Wishing you the absolute best tomorrow hun! I can’t even imagine what you are going through at the moment, I’m so sorry you aren’t feeling better, it just sucks :(

  • @Starcross_Productions
    @Starcross_Productions Před 4 lety +1

    Do as you want, and this video was clear. I personally might not know what your going through, but I’ll do my best to support your decisions. No matter what they are, you are loved, supported, and cared deeply for.

  • @PedroHenrique-xb4ur
    @PedroHenrique-xb4ur Před 4 lety +2

    sending lots of love all the way from Brazil, queen. Be strong as we all know you are!!! I love you

  • @margaretgross6217
    @margaretgross6217 Před 4 lety +2

    I have gone through ECT. I felt some joy or the feeling of, wow is this what it feels like to be normal. I could only have 6 treatments due to blood pressure issues and sever migraines. Unfortunately it only lasted 1month. You do have memory loss during this treatment and couldn't drive for 5weeks. Good luck with this. I really hope you benefit from it!

    • @karengrace6890
      @karengrace6890 Před 4 lety

      Hi Margaret! I'm glad it worked well for you. How much memory loss did you have and do you get your memory back?

    • @margaretgross6217
      @margaretgross6217 Před 4 lety

      @@karengrace6890 some most of it was the date, day and what I did at that time. You feel kind of foggy. I was fine after treatment stopped. One week maybe.

  • @CelestialSerendipity
    @CelestialSerendipity Před 4 lety +1

    I have a panic disorder, dysthymia and OCD. Everything you said was so relatable. You have my support.

  • @brittinie7917
    @brittinie7917 Před 4 lety +2

    Please let us know how it goes!! Im in the same boat, tried alot of therapy and pills and ptsd/depression still bad. Hope you find something that helps....dont give up hope 💜🖤

  • @bethkerr1249
    @bethkerr1249 Před 4 lety +2

    Encina ...you are the definition of a true warrior. Thank you for sharing your struggles. It’s actually really comforting to see someone else truly struggling. Please don’t pressure yourself to be positing ‘perfect’ videos..the real stuff is far more important and helps us all relate. Having DID and growing up in a world so ugly and unsafe can be so depressing. We needed to see this today, thank you it has given us a sense of not being so alone in this lifetime of a battle. I cannot imagine what you’re going through, how difficult it is for you in whatever you have in your life as well.. but I can tell you we are so grateful for your videos and sharing it all. You only have to be real, not happy, not well articulated, not anything.. just real :) ****HUGS**** good luck with the ECT i have a friend who found TMS much less side effects and still very positive results. Thinking of you and sending you strength, hold on.. you’re doing f’n amazing chick I :) xoxoxoxoxox

  • @ladyvallery2881
    @ladyvallery2881 Před 4 lety +2

    you've just described everything that i've been feeling

  • @BambiTimes
    @BambiTimes Před 4 lety +4

    Sitting here crying my eyes out because everything you said is exactly what's happened to me as well. I feel your pain,I love you,you are not alone! ♡♡

  • @avocadoll7285
    @avocadoll7285 Před 4 lety +1

    agreed- i also hate when people say that it’s going to get better. i’m so sorry you’re in pain. sending love

  • @lorenac3798
    @lorenac3798 Před 4 lety +3

    I hope your consultation went as you planned. Sending love from another girl giving it her best shot. ❤️

  • @dan_morgan
    @dan_morgan Před 4 lety +1

    Encina, you are an absolute warrior.. and such an inspiration. You are a great soul!

  • @wandering0wonderland
    @wandering0wonderland Před 4 lety +1

    I resonated with this so deeply especially with people promising that it will be okay, bad memory, and things getting worse as you get older. Wishing you all the best with the therapy and really hoping that things can finally start looking up for you 💕

  • @kosyakovna
    @kosyakovna Před 4 lety +1

    Please stay strong! We love you. You mean a lot to so many people.