Asking someone why they got divorced is all fine, and dandy, but most people will unfortunately not be telling you major character flaws. They are trying to WOO you. Research, research, research. Talk to friends, acquaintances, etc.
Simply put, use discernment. I dated someone who had been married 3 times before... i asked one simple question... if anything...what do you feel you could have done differently to preserve any of your previous relationships? When he said "nothing, i did everything i could, i did everything right" i ran for the hills. It told me he doesn't think he does anything wrong, he has an issue with being accountable for his behavior or actions... I'm straight with that!
@@jennyoneill8879 but I think Israel made Adrienne feel loved and special in a way that Lenny didn’t. So I don’t think it was actually about the being previously married, but rather, how they were able to love her through those insecurities. I’ve had similar experiences where relationship-ending insecurities seemed SO small once I received a love that was grand and beyond what I ever thought was possible.
Those were my deal-breakers: 1.) He can't be divorced. 2.) He can't have kids. I want to start fresh with someone. I want to go through all the motions and experience all the first with him, and vice versa. There's nothing wrong with that.
You never know who you'll fall in love with :) We have to remember that we aren't perfect either, and we wouldn't want to be judged by things that happened in the past.
I had a list of must haves and deal breakers also when I met my fiancé and divorced wasn’t on my dealbreakers, but children were. I wanted children of my own, not to raise someone else’s. I was very honest with him from our first date on what I was looking for and what I wouldn’t stand for and my relationship has been much better for it. There’s nothing wrong with knowing what you just can’t put up with for sure.
Adding that he was divorced and that was VERY hard for me to get past, but he had no children with her and that made it easier for me because she’s not around.
Hell, some women put up with it for years and STILL don't report it so it doesn't hurt to ask! Just saying. You don't have to ask the guy, ask his friends/famly. They would know. If the ex wife didn't report it, you won't find it online.
She didn't say he would, she said to ask QUESTIONS and (obviously) the way he answers (re: how candid he is, what he leaves out, how comfortable he looks/his manner in answering) would give you the information. The inquiry is how you get the information. Its really easy to spot an abuser (physical/emotional etc) if you educate yourself. Every woman and man should look out for this and ask those questions. 100% with Tamera. You've got to do the deep probe.
Zhane Doe That's the point though. The WAY they answer (re: their manner - defensiveness or openness...what they share and what you can read between the lines....women and men need to look critically and do that deep inquiry.
I recently dated a man that was married 3xs ... and divorced 3xs. He said they were all crazy. We eventually broke up. I am assured he says the same thing, now ... about me.
Tamar's advice was unintelligent. The perfect example of why Tamar is wrong is Ciara's relationship. Although Future was never a husband, he had 3 baby mamas before Ciara and she should've paid attention to all of those failed relationships. It is definitely important to see if the husband is separated b/c he's a cheater, abusive, or if his wives are "disappearing."
I would say that's true for the most part. However my current boyfriend who is divorced plays the victim, however I think he's telling the truth because his ex has gotten into our relationship and made me lose trust in him because she faked him as a liar and a cheater. Over time it was obvious what she was doing and that he really was telling the truth about not cheating and that he was truthful when he said commitment type things to me. So because I've experienced her pyschoness, I believe that she is one and he probably did play a part in the divorce, but I would be hard pressed to believe that it was mostly or half of his fault because of how she acts and how he acts.
I can now see why Adrienne didn't go through the marriage . This is like the second time she brought this up. It's better to be safe than sorry. I hope she happy now & soon finds the love of her life .
I personally wouldn't get married to a man that has already been married before! Its just too much history and unnecessary drama for me! And plus, if he was in love with someone else at one point and managed to pack up and leave her without looking back, how do I know he won't eventually leave me!
AmbitiousJemz I wouldn't even let myself develop those unbreakable feelings in the first place, unless he hid the fact that he had an ex wife from me for like years, and even then I would walk away!! I just can't condition myself to love someone and be 100% happy in a relationship knowing that he has been married before and has loved someone else.
I think that shows a hint of insecurity you may not know why he left. . .what if his wife cheated? or what is she left him? Or maybe they fell out of love. I think you to judge and have a prejudice against divorce men is fair in your own right to have but it is still prejudice and you might miss out on someone awesome just cause he got divorced. Besides unless he did something like cheat/beat his wife etc his past marriage isnt your business and it shouldnt concern you unless he has kids with her.
Ju'Nelle Brown It absolutely positively is my business if he has previous marriages!!! Are you kidding? Thats a big deal to me! I come from a very religious and conservative family, my parents have been married for over 25 years and are still happily married! Divorce is not an option for me, hence, I'm not dating/ or marrying anyone that has been married to anyone other than me..End of discussion.
Ju'Nelle Brown And there is nothing insecure about that! My idea of marriage is to fall in love with someone and spend the rest of my life with that person! I want to be the only one that my husband has ever had that type of history with. And again, if he can fall out of love with his other wife or beat her or whatever the case was I'm not 100% sure that he won't do that to me one day, and I don't have time to waste on a marriage that will potentially fizzle out, marriage shouldn't be temporary! When you take your vows and walk down that isle it should be an unbreakable bond;for better or for worse, till death do us part!
***** Honestly a man that has been married before is like any other man to me. But a man that has cheated while in a relationship? Guurllll , aint nobody got time for that
Jenna Smith Hmm ... if I have my own grown ass kids and he has his own grown kids then that's fine . But I guess it all has to do with the preference :)
BadIndie An: if you go looking, you will surely find something even where there is nothing to be found. Remember, you are the engine that drives your insecurities.
IMO there's nothing wrong with dating a man who was married before but if the man was married 3-5 times before that is unacceptable. If a man who was married 3-5 times before, that shows me that he's not ready for a committed marriage, he's not serious about marriage, and he just wants to play around and have fun. If a man who was married once before, I will like ask him questions on why it didn't his previous marriage work out so I can see if that will be a problem in the future.
+promprom, I've always considered Adrienne to be too loose when it comes to relationships.....she appears to me as a person that goes from one person to the next ; and she doesn't allow herself time to be alone after a failed relationship. Is it true that she is now dating a one of Lenny's (her ex) friends.....Adrienne can be such an air-head....she needs to buy herself a blonde wig.
I was wondering that. I saw an interview she did with Sway and she had dated someone else for 7 years prior to Lenny, then Lenny for 10 and hopefully she ends up marrying her current boyfriend. That's a lot of years to waste.
Pretty Gorgeous , I doubt if it will be the one she is currently dating, he just got divorced from being married for a while.....he may just want to be alone, without being tied to a piece of paper.....hopefully, one day, Adrienne will get married....she does deserve to be married.
Fair enough but if a marriage is no longer working and issues cannot be resolved getting divorced is better than wasting years in an unhappy marriage. Sometimes marriages do not work, staying in one won't help things.
Gizmo Gremlin abuse, infidelity, and anything to do with children ok. but i honestly feel as though ANYTHING else can be worked out. instead of putting forth the effort to change for the better of your relationship, it's easier to just divorce and say "things didn't work out." Like? What? Marriage is not a game that doesn't "work out." You gotta work it out!
Reign Xo Yes you do have to work at marriage but if issues can't be resolved, staying in a unhappy marriage is not for everyone. Some people get married and over time things change & stuff cannot be worked out.
experience271 Not everyone is religious though. And people should be married because they are happy and want to be together. Being religious is fair enough but a marriage is between 2 people. Staying together for god is not an option for many people. Many people used to stay together in the past because they were scared to get divorced or couldn't. In certain religious communities women have no say in getting divorced even if they are being abused. They have no rights at all. Fact is some people should not get married and marriage is a contract. The idea of marriage started so people would get assets if their loved ones died If you want to believe marriage is a spiritual thing that is good for you. It did not start like that. People also abuse their partners under the disguise of religion. Plently of men treat their wives badly and claim because the bible tells them this & that. They justify treating their wives as slaves & keeping them in their place by using the bible. Alot of people choose not to marry these days and i think that is a good thing personally. You can just as committed and not be married.
His past relationship shouldn't define him, and it's not fair to judge Israel or Adrienne when we don't know the full story. We don't know and we never will because it's none of our business.
Amanda Tracey well... we do know he cheated on his wife and got kids outside of the mariage coz he admitted to it so... it's awkward but if she's ok with it O guess it's alright. I don't like to judge but let's be honest if she was one of my friend I would have advised her not to inject herself in such a messy situation
I'm kinda going through this rn because the man I'm with was married before and I always talk about wanting to get married but he doesn't seem to care. He does talk about his past marriage and how beautiful it was and it breaks my heart because I know the man I'm in love with, already experienced his first time with someone else. while I'm here wanting to marry him and experience it for the first time..
I did originally seek out a man that already had children to avoid them wanting children with me but I finally found my husband (previously married but no children) that doesn't want children EVER 😍
I agree with Adrienne regarding asking the questions about the previous wedding. My husband had been married before. Thank goodness his mother remembered the colors of the wedding. My favorite color blue was the previous bride's choice. My color scheme quickly changed to royal and divine, deep dark purple and rich red for a Christmas season wedding.
+SuperSasha1969, is it true that Adrienne is now dating one of Lenny's friends? She is to loose with her affection.....she needs to get somewhere and meditate and be alone for a little while.
I don't really think towards dating someone whose been married before, I always feel like the ex-wife never really disappears, Like I'll always be trying to compete with her; If she died, I have to make sure Im better or just as good her while not doing something she wouldn't have done, if she was horrible every little mistake reminds him of the horrible ex-wife and how Im turning into her. Even if her might never say it to my face.
Bylee Malox: Everyone has a love history you included. Not many people marry their first love and most people never forget their first love. If you are looking for a clean slate of love, you are bound to fail. Anyway, you are young but as you age, you will be stunned by how unrealistic your young self sees the world coz dear, life is a b*tch!
wanelly Ever dated a divorced person ? Their baggage will cause so many unnecessary problems and most times it’s very hard to move forward with that person. Their ex spouse is always there to haunt you. No one wants to be second best in a relationship.
Love Muffin: Life is not a competition. But it takes maturity to appreciate this fact. That said, once you are mature you understand there’s no competition to be had and you just enjoy whomever you are with irregardless of how many ex’s they may have had. I know you are young and you are not there yet but it will all sink in as you age and mature.
wanelly it’s not about competition here, it’s the fact that exes can negatively affect your own relationship! And yes the amount of exes your current partner has had is an indicator of their poor choices in the past.
Love Muffin: there is a saying “change is the only constant thing in life” as you mature, you realize your yesterday’s excellent choices are today’s worst choices. This phenomenon happens in every sphere of life including relationship. If you partner has had many ex’s, it proves that he has grown overtime and he knows what he wants and is not shy of letting go those “the poor relationships” that he may have had over time. Plus he/she brings along experiences and maturity. Anyone can be an ex and majority of people are other people’s ex’s. Enjoy whomever you are with.
I just have to say Tamera is getting more and more beautiful the more pregnant she gets and peach looks so good on her... and the baby bump- LOL Blessings to Mrs Housley.
My grandma said when I start to date and I find a guy that I'm interested in, she said I should go on what she calls "informative dates" which is a series of dates consisting of straight conversation and dialogue. She said we should go on 5 informative dates and really get to know each other and ask all the questions that are important for us to know. She said after the five dates, if everything equals out, I should then consider getting in a relationship with him. She said give the relationship a 6 month trial. If things go smooth in the relationship, we should then try living together so we can study each other's good and bad habits to see if they can be tolerated or not. The rest can be history after that.
This made me feel better I’m 23 and my boyfriend is 30 he’s been married before and im hearing things that he might be proposing and I was feeling EXACTLY how adrianna feeling I even ask about his old wedding colors and stuff and he says “ I don’t remember” too 🤦🏽♀️
Tamera is absolutely correct! We all have had those experiences at one point or another where you are dating someone and you move on to find that you end up with the same person in a different package over and over again until you really stop to figure out why you are attracting the same kind of person.. This is something like that. There are some people out there that treat marriage like dating.. They think well, if it doesn't work out, we can just get a divorce.. What if you choose to over look something like that and the minute things start to get a little heated after you are married, he wants to try to file for a divorce, or separate and go have some chick on the side.. These things are important to know.. If I don't know exactly why you got divorced, I cannot take you seriously as a potential husband.. Marriage is not a game, for some people, its still considered a sacred life time commitment.. I'm NOT about to marry a stranger and have him make a liar out of me before God, my family and friends.. Marriage is serious business.
It can be a little bit difficult and things dont get better the 2nd time around its actually higher rates of failure for the next and the next marriage.
I don't know why these women are so against asking about your SO past life. I think that's very important because god knows who they could truly be. Perhaps criminal past or violent history or lots of infidelity. These things stem from serious issues and something could very well carry on into your relationship. I like questions and I like answers.
Asking questions is very important and part of getting to know someone but who is really gonna be honest about being a chronic cheater or a woman beater? Better learn how to do background checks on folks and realize that Google is your friend.
Well I don't think I need to know every single detail about their marriage or their wedding, but I do think it is important to find out some information of why the marriage failed. Especially, if you want to be married someday it's important to know if they are really past it and you won't be waiting or paying the price for their emotional scars. Or if it's a character flaw or mistake of that person they can't escape and that you can accept/live with.
I'm dating a divorced man right now and I was incredibly curious about why they split because I don't want to make the same mistakes she did. So I've asked him and he's essentially said because she cheated. It sounds like there's so much more to the story though because he says different things, like she changed up after their daughter was born and he grew up but she didn't. I just hope I know at least the real story, even if it's an overview and not detailed before we get married.
I used to judge people on why they had failed marriages, no more!! Unless you YOURSELF are in that marriage, you have no idea what it is like to be married to that person. My ex was previously married. it was my first marriage. He taught me a bit. He knew some things about compromise and about home life. However. . . I found out exactly why his previous wife left him and never looked back once. Eventually I left too for the same reasons. I think it is very important to dig deep and find out why previous marriages didn't work out. It is important. I just took face value what his mom and brother said to me, and how he acted. I had no idea this person would ruin so much of my life, ruin everything. My parents threw us an amazing memorable wedding too, I can't even have that to look back on as a sweet memory anymore. . . Anyway, more and more people are getting divorced. Also the older you are the less likely you are going to find someone who wasn't previously married. I think it is important to live with someone first. See how they live before tying your boat to them legally. You learn a lot.
Minda Fraser honestly I agree. I'm only 21 living with the father of both my kids and I already say I do not want to get married. lol it's different when you live together and start a family. Things change and you start seeing their true colors.
I agree completely. a lot of them show their colors hen you start living together because there are a lot of things you cant hide when you cohabiting living together before marriage just gives you a preview on how things will be if you get married
I’m open to dating a man who has been married before. It just depends on his answer to my 2 questions: Why did you get married? What was the turning point that led to the divorce? If you can pinpoint and understand what went wrong, you can see the signs in your next marriage to prevent them. If you said yes or proposed, I want to know that you truly saw a future with that person and didn’t marry for the wrong reasons.
Wouldn't it be a kii if on Adrienne's wedding night, Lennie rolled off of her, laughed and said: "I must have a type because you chose the exact same colour scheme for the wedding as my ex-wife". Lol
I find it crazy how Adrienne and I think so much alike. Whenever I hear her opinions, I'm like oh my gosh, I've said that before and there's even a time where I answered a question watching this show and she answered the same way right after, maybe it has to do with the fact that we're both Scorpios. 👀
Yeah. With Tamera on this one. Big surprise right!? Lol anyway I think it's important knowing why their divorced because as she said it could javelin easily been because of something they did and just because it was in a previous relationship doesn't mean jack squat. Lol its not like they get a divorce and everything they've done is cleared and nonexistent.
watching this now makes me understand y Adrienne has always been uncomfortable and kept asking all these questions lol. If you feel funny n have doubt 99% of the time you are right lol
I agree with Tamera that there are certain things you should know about someone if they've been married before (especially if he's a wifebeater or something else crazy!), but I also agree with Tamar and Adrienne on the fact that a previous relationship shouldn't matter. That was BEFORE you and a woman or man should focus on what's happening in their relationship in the present moment.
I just want to thank her for being honest about how she felt because I feel that way and I'm just dating him I'm not even sure if I can allow myself to go down that road just because he was already married this is going to be my first time I feel like she she felt
hellll no. I'm not getting into a relationship with a divorced man. most of them tend to think they got it all figured out just because they've been there, but still a selfish, sly, controlling jerk. the reason most of them got divorced in the first place. something went wrong. I don't wanna know why. I ain't dating you.
I won’t date someone that has been married before. I also wouldn’t be with someone that has kids. I want to start fresh. I also would have so many questions as to why the divorce occurred.
Tamera confuses me sometimes... U dnt wanna know how many women he's slept with but u want to kno why he's no longer married? Marriage can end for alot of reasons and it may never be at the fault of a man.
No actually theres a huge difference between wanting to know how many woman he's slept with, that doesnt concern her she shouldnt need to know that. But what does concern her is what went wrong in the previous marriage and if its bad enough for her not to marry him. For example "wife beater", and so on...
Amellia Lilly any man or woman can lie about y their marriage did not work but if i am going to allow you to sleep with me I need to know where you have been and if its medically safe to do so. U could have stds and all and if we go and get checked and it turns out u do have something, im gonna wanna know from who and when did u get it. ur right its totally different.
His sexual history has nothing to do with her, however like she said, if he were a wife beater or something negative about his personality that he would carry on into his new relationship she should know so she can dodge that bullet if need be, No contradictions there!
Tamar is dead wrong. Why the man's past marriage failed IS relevant to the new woman because she's with that same man. The new woman would be wise to figure out what happened and to assess what the man learned and how he's grown since then. Obviously a marriage is between two people, so the man had a part in it. It is very relevant to the new woman.
Adrienne definitely has a type... I hope that her dreams of being married and having kids does come true for her someday because she's not going to get it from men who have divorced their wives with kids after years of marriage. Not in this day and age. I'm sorry A I love yoy...but I really feel for you in the love department! You still have time to get it right!
Leah Hannah ,why?I mean,why stay in an awful situation, due to children. me,personally, I don't care,long as you're at least making the effort to change,be involved in your child's life,can at least be civil to your ex.yes,there likely was a whole lot of unpleasantness in the end,but why put children in the middle? I don't care if the person I'm with was in a relationship/has children, or not.
i dont think thats nothing wrong with marry a man thats been married before... but i think if youu havê never been married and if you are much younger than the guy ,you should choose one that has never been married or at least that doesnt have any kids
I kinda want a man whose been married before bc like Loni said, he's already trained. Lol and not just that but he knows how to handle arguments and will probably work a little harder to NOT go through a divorce again
My friend is divorced now b/c her husband was beating her and thankfully she is one of the ones lucky enough to able to walk away with her life and her sanity, so there are reasons like that for divorce and I doubt that man is going to go into his next relationship telling that to anyone so you can't always trust what someone is saying about what really happened in a divorce. I suppose you can look up the reasons in public records and such, but someone said it in their comments that even if the reasons weren't that scary, no one is going to be quick to point out their own faults and flaws as to the reason their marriage ended, but on the same token, in a relationship you have to develop that trust and sometimes take a leap of faith because you may find a diamond in the rough.
I have fallen for a man that is divorced. We have been friends for a year and as of a few months ago started stepping over that line into something that resembles dating. I say resembles because no commitment has been made and he prefers to label it as something casual. He claims he isn't really quite ready. It's frustrating because I want to be patient and let things evolve or not. I know in my heart, we would be good together. Don't ask me how, but I do. Yet, I'm too old to be waiting around for something that may never progress. I'm faced with three options. 1 - just focus on him, keep things the same 2 - let things continue how they are, but keeping myself open to other possibilities 3 - walk away and if he ever decides he wants something more with me and I'm available then reasses and go from there. Anyway, this was definitely good to hear and will aide me in my decision.
I think it can be good, because I kind want someone with a little experienced, but all I need to know is, are you going to do better than your last... if it was your fault.
It should bother her that his kids come first? Most women will love to find a man who takes care of his kids and puts them first. Kids should always come first.
But it's nothing wrong with wanting a man who on your level with no kids and has never been married before. For some men and women it's easier that way.
Kaitlin Mills There's nothing wrong with his children coming first. It is however detrimental to a relationship, and it's something she wouldn't have to worry about with a man without children.
Kaitlin Mills well they are not my kids and he had them with someone else... And why would be leave someone who he created life with? It might be nice but it could be a patten of not wanting permanent responsibility... No matter what story the tell you no two people are the same
My boyfriend has been married before and it didn’t work out and he’s unsure if he wants to again. So I am in that place were in three to four years I want to get married. I don’t want to wait around for him for that long and not get a ring because he still doesn’t want to get married.
I kind of disagree with Tamar, anytime there's been failed relationships or a failed marriage, i would want to know what the reason being was. Whatever errors he may have made in his previous relationship could be transfer on into our relationship. Like Tamera said what if he was a woman beater? Or maybe even had anger issues? Certain things I just need to know so I know what I'm dealing with and whether or not I want to take things any further. Yes everyone has a past and people do change, but it is possible for people to revert back to their old ways and habits, and it is possible for a person's previous issues to resurface. I'd definitely ask.
It matters to me. But I also think age has something to do with it. I'm 21, so I'm quite young and in the pool of men my own age, it's much easier for me to realistically say that I'd rather not date someone who's been married before or who has kids. Now, if I were in my late 30s or something, wanting to date men in my age group, that expectation becomes much more unrealistic. Anyway, I agree about knowing why. I don't like surprises & I don't want to find out that you got some sociopath for an ex-wife or that you was runnin around hiring hookers or some ish....
My friend says that too, about wanting someone without a kid or never been married. We're 23. But she says it's hard because a lot of the guys she's interested are dads already. I remember when I was 19 and wanted to casually date, I would find guys who were divorced at a young age because they either married their high school sweetheart or were in a rush to marry after high school.
Yes!! Thank you for saying that I just had this talk with other people. I just turn 21 and there guys out there with no kids or ex-wife. As I get older and that dating pool gets smaller than thats something I would look at but I'm to young for that drama.
I think both sides of this argument are valid. Though in extreme cases (such as physical abuse) I would want to know why it didn't work out but otherwise it's none of my business. Leave the past in the past and let's work on US in the PRESENT DAY
Asking someone why they got divorced is all fine, and dandy, but most people will unfortunately not be telling you major character flaws. They are trying to WOO you. Research, research, research. Talk to friends, acquaintances, etc.
FACTS!
The same thing happens when you ask them why you broke up..so true
Zhane Doe Agreed
Expect ppl to tell you lies or half truths. But the signs are always there, they can't hide for long.
+Danielle Danielle There is no such thing as a half truth. Something is either true or untrue. Period
everytime Jeannie uses her hand gestures omg it makes me so jealous of her beautiful hands and on point nails 😍
I like her hands but the two finger raise irks me
Same
Yes! I always look at her nails and hands and admire :)
Dilek Sen omg I feel the same lmao. I don’t like when she does that
@@dilekben lol. I thought I was the only one! The 2 fingers bugs me too
Simply put, use discernment. I dated someone who had been married 3 times before... i asked one simple question... if anything...what do you feel you could have done differently to preserve any of your previous relationships? When he said
"nothing, i did everything i could, i did everything right" i ran for the hills. It told me he doesn't think he does anything wrong, he has an issue with being accountable for his behavior or actions... I'm straight with that!
Wow! Such a simple but insightful question. On target 🎯
It kinda felt like Adrienne was trying to convince herself rather then telling us the story.. 🙈
Then she got with another guy who was married before
So ..there's nothing wrong with that
@@jennyoneill8879 but I think Israel made Adrienne feel loved and special in a way that Lenny didn’t. So I don’t think it was actually about the being previously married, but rather, how they were able to love her through those insecurities. I’ve had similar experiences where relationship-ending insecurities seemed SO small once I received a love that was grand and beyond what I ever thought was possible.
I agree, she should be asking herself the question, I feel like Adrienne was asking her friends advice with this conversation.
Those were my deal-breakers:
1.) He can't be divorced.
2.) He can't have kids.
I want to start fresh with someone. I want to go through all the motions and experience all the first with him, and vice versa. There's nothing wrong with that.
im the same way. i dont want him to have ties with his ex because of marriage or kids and i want to do everything together and build a family together
You never know who you'll fall in love with :) We have to remember that we aren't perfect either, and we wouldn't want to be judged by things that happened in the past.
I had a list of must haves and deal breakers also when I met my fiancé and divorced wasn’t on my dealbreakers, but children were. I wanted children of my own, not to raise someone else’s. I was very honest with him from our first date on what I was looking for and what I wouldn’t stand for and my relationship has been much better for it. There’s nothing wrong with knowing what you just can’t put up with for sure.
Adding that he was divorced and that was VERY hard for me to get past, but he had no children with her and that made it easier for me because she’s not around.
Those were mine until I ended up being currently in arelationship with someone contrary to all that lmao
I'd only date a man who has been married before if they're wife is dead or they've been divorced for a long time.
How old are you lol? After a certain age it will be hard to find men looking for marriage that haven't already been married...
@@FriendshipIsMagic6214 hard but not impossible, I was 31 when I met my husband and he was in his 40 and not married before
no ex wife / baby mama dramas don't want it 🙅🙅🙅🙅🙅
lol thought she was talking abt Israel until they said Lenny 😳😳
Same.
D Mell same amazing how time flew from lenny to Israel. and now she's a happy married woman
D Mell all within a year lmaooo
Evelyn Ramirez she has magic believe me
D Mell wow i didn't even realise they said lenny I had to go back and check 😳😰 damn
My hubby was married once before but he is the best thing that ever happened to me🙂 we are going on 6 years🙂🙂
You really think the guy is gonna tell he was a wifebeater Tamera? ...
Hell, some women put up with it for years and STILL don't report it so it doesn't hurt to ask! Just saying. You don't have to ask the guy, ask his friends/famly. They would know. If the ex wife didn't report it, you won't find it online.
Kayla Belle Someone like that is devoid of moral character, so what makes you think they'll be honest?
She didn't say he would, she said to ask QUESTIONS and (obviously) the way he answers (re: how candid he is, what he leaves out, how comfortable he looks/his manner in answering) would give you the information. The inquiry is how you get the information. Its really easy to spot an abuser (physical/emotional etc) if you educate yourself. Every woman and man should look out for this and ask those questions. 100% with Tamera. You've got to do the deep probe.
I, Adaora Exactly. Been there, done that! There are always ways to find out who you are dealing with!
Zhane Doe That's the point though. The WAY they answer (re: their manner - defensiveness or openness...what they share and what you can read between the lines....women and men need to look critically and do that deep inquiry.
I recently dated a man that was married 3xs ... and divorced 3xs. He said they were all crazy. We eventually broke up. I am assured he says the same thing, now ... about me.
Tamar's advice was unintelligent. The perfect example of why Tamar is wrong is Ciara's relationship. Although Future was never a husband, he had 3 baby mamas before Ciara and she should've paid attention to all of those failed relationships. It is definitely important to see if the husband is separated b/c he's a cheater, abusive, or if his wives are "disappearing."
Most times the person who plays the victim is usually the one responsible, so don't rush and always take your time knowing who you're with.
I will take that into consideration.
I would say that's true for the most part. However my current boyfriend who is divorced plays the victim, however I think he's telling the truth because his ex has gotten into our relationship and made me lose trust in him because she faked him as a liar and a cheater. Over time it was obvious what she was doing and that he really was telling the truth about not cheating and that he was truthful when he said commitment type things to me. So because I've experienced her pyschoness, I believe that she is one and he probably did play a part in the divorce, but I would be hard pressed to believe that it was mostly or half of his fault because of how she acts and how he acts.
ironically she's married to someone who's previously been married.
I can now see why Adrienne didn't go through the marriage . This is like the second time she brought this up. It's better to be safe than sorry. I hope she happy now & soon finds the love of her life .
But then she married a guy who was married before and just got divorced
I personally wouldn't get married to a man that has already been married before! Its just too much history and unnecessary drama for me! And plus, if he was in love with someone else at one point and managed to pack up and leave her without looking back, how do I know he won't eventually leave me!
I dont think you can control you feelings. If you truly love someone their past wont stop your relationship.
AmbitiousJemz I wouldn't even let myself develop those unbreakable feelings in the first place, unless he hid the fact that he had an ex wife from me for like years, and even then I would walk away!! I just can't condition myself to love someone and be 100% happy in a relationship knowing that he has been married before and has loved someone else.
I think that shows a hint of insecurity you may not know why he left. . .what if his wife cheated? or what is she left him? Or maybe they fell out of love. I think you to judge and have a prejudice against divorce men is fair in your own right to have but it is still prejudice and you might miss out on someone awesome just cause he got divorced. Besides unless he did something like cheat/beat his wife etc his past marriage isnt your business and it shouldnt concern you unless he has kids with her.
Ju'Nelle Brown It absolutely positively is my business if he has previous marriages!!! Are you kidding? Thats a big deal to me! I come from a very religious and conservative family, my parents have been married for over 25 years and are still happily married! Divorce is not an option for me, hence, I'm not dating/ or marrying anyone that has been married to anyone other than me..End of discussion.
Ju'Nelle Brown And there is nothing insecure about that! My idea of marriage is to fall in love with someone and spend the rest of my life with that person! I want to be the only one that my husband has ever had that type of history with. And again, if he can fall out of love with his other wife or beat her or whatever the case was I'm not 100% sure that he won't do that to me one day, and I don't have time to waste on a marriage that will potentially fizzle out, marriage shouldn't be temporary! When you take your vows and walk down that isle it should be an unbreakable bond;for better or for worse, till death do us part!
She's not afraid in sharing her experience of dating a man who's already been married before and I admire you so much for that, Adrienne.
You’re just an advertiser trying to get men’s money.
these women realize it takes two for a marriage to fail....its not just one person's fault
In some case NOT all. Nobody MAKES somebody cheat or hit them. It takes one to ruin but BOTH parties MUST want to make it work.
i wasn't saying all cases....I was referring to the topic they were talking about
NikkiB2005 People can simply fall out of love with each other not just because someone cheated or abuse someone.
Joshua McDowell D-U-H.
***** this was a year ago you just now want to comment lmao!
I don't see a problem with dating a man that has been married before . However , I can not see myself dating a man with kids.
***** Honestly a man that has been married before is like any other man to me. But a man that has cheated while in a relationship? Guurllll , aint nobody got time for that
Jenna Smith Hmm ... if I have my own grown ass kids and he has his own grown kids then that's fine . But I guess it all has to do with the preference :)
Sabrina Pinada 😄preach
Ok.
BadIndie An: if you go looking, you will surely find something even where there is nothing to be found. Remember, you are the engine that drives your insecurities.
This is weird because she is dating someone who was married and cheated on his wife.
Sit down it has nothing to do with their relationship.
Oh really? Did we not watch the same video. I was not trying to be judgemental but it was something I saw.
+Ashley J Bless her heart. I hope she finds what she deserves
You are right what makes her think he won't do the same thing to her. Sometimes we are so naive.
Morgan Dawn Me too. She is really sweet deep down.
IMO there's nothing wrong with dating a man who was married before but if the man was married 3-5 times before that is unacceptable. If a man who was married 3-5 times before, that shows me that he's not ready for a committed marriage, he's not serious about marriage, and he just wants to play around and have fun. If a man who was married once before, I will like ask him questions on why it didn't his previous marriage work out so I can see if that will be a problem in the future.
Idk... Just like dating someone with a child, it's not for everybody & it's certainly not for me. To each his own tho.
Adrienne looks gorgeous
Adrienne has a type. men who have cheated or will cheat on her. smh
The thing she did an interview on
Breakfast club with Tamar and said Lenny has never been married
+promprom, I've always considered Adrienne to be too loose when it comes to relationships.....she appears to me as a person that goes from one person to the next ; and she doesn't allow herself time to be alone after a failed relationship. Is it true that she is now dating a one of Lenny's (her ex) friends.....Adrienne can be such an air-head....she needs to buy herself a blonde wig.
I was wondering that. I saw an interview she did with Sway and she had dated someone else for 7 years prior to Lenny, then Lenny for 10 and hopefully she ends up marrying her current boyfriend. That's a lot of years to waste.
Pretty Gorgeous
, I doubt if it will be the one she is currently dating, he just got divorced from being married for a while.....he may just want to be alone, without being tied to a piece of paper.....hopefully, one day, Adrienne will get married....she does deserve to be married.
Penny B yeah, i think she should too! I think she just looks at the wrong men. Hopefully they do end up married.
Call me old school but I just feel like unless something like abuse or infidelity takes place there is absolutely NO reason for divorce. Like idc
Fair enough but if a marriage is no longer working and issues cannot be resolved getting divorced is better than wasting years in an unhappy marriage. Sometimes marriages do not work, staying in one won't help things.
Gizmo Gremlin abuse, infidelity, and anything to do with children ok. but i honestly feel as though ANYTHING else can be worked out. instead of putting forth the effort to change for the better of your relationship, it's easier to just divorce and say "things didn't work out." Like? What? Marriage is not a game that doesn't "work out." You gotta work it out!
Reign Xo Yes you do have to work at marriage but if issues can't be resolved, staying in a unhappy marriage is not for everyone. Some people get married and over time things change & stuff cannot be worked out.
Nope, there r many other reasons to get a divorce
experience271 Not everyone is religious though. And people should be married because they are happy and want to be together. Being religious is fair enough but a marriage is between 2 people. Staying together for god is not an option for many people.
Many people used to stay together in the past because they were scared to get divorced or couldn't. In certain religious communities women have no say in getting divorced even if they are being abused. They have no rights at all.
Fact is some people should not get married and marriage is a contract. The idea of marriage started so people would get assets if their loved ones died If you want to believe marriage is a spiritual thing that is good for you. It did not start like that.
People also abuse their partners under the disguise of religion. Plently of men treat their wives badly and claim because the bible tells them this & that. They justify treating their wives as slaves & keeping them in their place by using the bible.
Alot of people choose not to marry these days and i think that is a good thing personally. You can just as committed and not be married.
Watching this in December 2016 feels awkward. Given that Adrienne married Israel with all that baggage 👀
His past relationship shouldn't define him, and it's not fair to judge Israel or Adrienne when we don't know the full story. We don't know and we never will because it's none of our business.
Amanda Tracey well... we do know he cheated on his wife and got kids outside of the mariage coz he admitted to it so... it's awkward but if she's ok with it O guess it's alright. I don't like to judge but let's be honest if she was one of my friend I would have advised her not to inject herself in such a messy situation
Brit Lee 😂😂😂😂😂
I'm kinda going through this rn because the man I'm with was married before and I always talk about wanting to get married but he doesn't seem to care. He does talk about his past marriage and how beautiful it was and it breaks my heart because I know the man I'm in love with, already experienced his first time with someone else. while I'm here wanting to marry him and experience it for the first time..
Any update on this? Kinda find myself in this situation.....
I did originally seek out a man that already had children to avoid them wanting children with me but I finally found my husband (previously married but no children) that doesn't want children EVER 😍
I agree with Adrienne regarding asking the questions about the previous wedding. My husband had been married before. Thank goodness his mother remembered the colors of the wedding. My favorite color blue was the previous bride's choice. My color scheme quickly changed to royal and divine, deep dark purple and rich red for a Christmas season wedding.
So now she's dating someone that was married and cheated on his wife??? Girl bye! ✌️
+SuperSasha1969, is it true that Adrienne is now dating one of Lenny's friends? She is to loose with her affection.....she needs to get somewhere and meditate and be alone for a little while.
kinda like how chyna is engaged to rob Also a cheater! 😂😂😂 lol ...
Lol
I don't really think towards dating someone whose been married before, I always feel like the ex-wife never really disappears, Like I'll always be trying to compete with her; If she died, I have to make sure Im better or just as good her while not doing something she wouldn't have done, if she was horrible every little mistake reminds him of the horrible ex-wife and how Im turning into her. Even if her might never say it to my face.
Bylee Malox: Everyone has a love history you included. Not many people marry their first love and most people never forget their first love. If you are looking for a clean slate of love, you are bound to fail. Anyway, you are young but as you age, you will be stunned by how unrealistic your young self sees the world coz dear, life is a b*tch!
wanelly Ever dated a divorced person ? Their baggage will cause so many unnecessary problems and most times it’s very hard to move forward with that person. Their ex spouse is always there to haunt you. No one wants to be second best in a relationship.
Love Muffin: Life is not a competition. But it takes maturity to appreciate this fact. That said, once you are mature you understand there’s no competition to be had and you just enjoy whomever you are with irregardless of how many ex’s they may have had. I know you are young and you are not there yet but it will all sink in as you age and mature.
wanelly it’s not about competition here, it’s the fact that exes can negatively affect your own relationship! And yes the amount of exes your current partner has had is an indicator of their poor choices in the past.
Love Muffin: there is a saying “change is the only constant thing in life” as you mature, you realize your yesterday’s excellent choices are today’s worst choices. This phenomenon happens in every sphere of life including relationship. If you partner has had many ex’s, it proves that he has grown overtime and he knows what he wants and is not shy of letting go those “the poor relationships” that he may have had over time. Plus he/she brings along experiences and maturity. Anyone can be an ex and majority of people are other people’s ex’s. Enjoy whomever you are with.
I just have to say Tamera is getting more and more beautiful the more pregnant she gets and peach looks so good on her... and the baby bump- LOL Blessings to Mrs Housley.
My grandma said when I start to date and I find a guy that I'm interested in, she said I should go on what she calls "informative dates" which is a series of dates consisting of straight conversation and dialogue. She said we should go on 5 informative dates and really get to know each other and ask all the questions that are important for us to know. She said after the five dates, if everything equals out, I should then consider getting in a relationship with him. She said give the relationship a 6 month trial. If things go smooth in the relationship, we should then try living together so we can study each other's good and bad habits to see if they can be tolerated or not. The rest can be history after that.
People don't wanna listen to the person making the most sense up there....TAMERA!
I love Tamera's hair here!
+Brea Wortman Me too
& Tamar's curls
This made me feel better I’m 23 and my boyfriend is 30 he’s been married before and im hearing things that he might be proposing and I was feeling EXACTLY how adrianna feeling I even ask about his old wedding colors and stuff and he says “ I don’t remember” too 🤦🏽♀️
Jeanie is SPOT ON. But any past relationship experience needs to be known. What's the baggage! We all have baggage.
Tamera is absolutely correct! We all have had those experiences at one point or another where you are dating someone and you move on to find that you end up with the same person in a different package over and over again until you really stop to figure out why you are attracting the same kind of person.. This is something like that. There are some people out there that treat marriage like dating.. They think well, if it doesn't work out, we can just get a divorce..
What if you choose to over look something like that and the minute things start to get a little heated after you are married, he wants to try to file for a divorce, or separate and go have some chick on the side.. These things are important to know.. If I don't know exactly why you got divorced, I cannot take you seriously as a potential husband..
Marriage is not a game, for some people, its still considered a sacred life time commitment.. I'm NOT about to marry a stranger and have him make a liar out of me before God, my family and friends.. Marriage is serious business.
they need to talk about dating married man whos damage from there last relationship (marriage)
It's not always about if he has been married before. Sometimes it's about how he speaks of his exes. If he calls them crazy that's a red flag.
It can be a little bit difficult and things dont get better the 2nd time around its actually higher rates of failure for the next and the next marriage.
I don't know why these women are so against asking about your SO past life. I think that's very important because god knows who they could truly be. Perhaps criminal past or violent history or lots of infidelity. These things stem from serious issues and something could very well carry on into your relationship.
I like questions and I like answers.
Agreed. I want to know EVERYTHING.
Asking questions is very important and part of getting to know someone but who is really gonna be honest about being a chronic cheater or a woman beater? Better learn how to do background checks on folks and realize that Google is your friend.
I needed this episode about a year ago.
Well I don't think I need to know every single detail about their marriage or their wedding, but I do think it is important to find out some information of why the marriage failed. Especially, if you want to be married someday it's important to know if they are really past it and you won't be waiting or paying the price for their emotional scars. Or if it's a character flaw or mistake of that person they can't escape and that you can accept/live with.
I'm dating a divorced man right now and I was incredibly curious about why they split because I don't want to make the same mistakes she did. So I've asked him and he's essentially said because she cheated. It sounds like there's so much more to the story though because he says different things, like she changed up after their daughter was born and he grew up but she didn't. I just hope I know at least the real story, even if it's an overview and not detailed before we get married.
Update???
I love Adrian. she's like the little baby of the group. Lol
I used to judge people on why they had failed marriages, no more!! Unless you YOURSELF are in that marriage, you have no idea what it is like to be married to that person. My ex was previously married. it was my first marriage. He taught me a bit. He knew some things about compromise and about home life. However. . . I found out exactly why his previous wife left him and never looked back once. Eventually I left too for the same reasons. I think it is very important to dig deep and find out why previous marriages didn't work out. It is important. I just took face value what his mom and brother said to me, and how he acted. I had no idea this person would ruin so much of my life, ruin everything. My parents threw us an amazing memorable wedding too, I can't even have that to look back on as a sweet memory anymore. . . Anyway, more and more people are getting divorced. Also the older you are the less likely you are going to find someone who wasn't previously married. I think it is important to live with someone first. See how they live before tying your boat to them legally. You learn a lot.
thank you babe. ill keep this mind xoxo ;)
Minda Fraser I know u we're trying to not give away too much but this left everyone curious on what was the reason you and ex left his ass lol
Minda Fraser honestly I agree. I'm only 21 living with the father of both my kids and I already say I do not want to get married. lol it's different when you live together and start a family. Things change and you start seeing their true colors.
thats true. but why have 2 kids then decide if you wanna stay
I agree completely. a lot of them show their colors hen you start living together because there are a lot of things you cant hide when you cohabiting
living together before marriage just gives you a preview on how things will be if you get married
I’m open to dating a man who has been married before. It just depends on his answer to my 2 questions: Why did you get married? What was the turning point that led to the divorce?
If you can pinpoint and understand what went wrong, you can see the signs in your next marriage to prevent them. If you said yes or proposed, I want to know that you truly saw a future with that person and didn’t marry for the wrong reasons.
Thanks for making me feel better
just bcuz a person do one thing with or to someone else does not mean that they will do it to you💞💞
Wow! Didnt know there was a difference whether he's been married or not! I believe in just starting anew, leave the past in the past and thats it!
Adrienne literally always looks good, she's just getting more beautiful
Wouldn't it be a kii if on Adrienne's wedding night, Lennie rolled off of her, laughed and said: "I must have a type because you chose the exact same colour scheme for the wedding as my ex-wife". Lol
im dead XD
Too bad they didn’t make it to the wedding
I find it crazy how Adrienne and I think so much alike. Whenever I hear her opinions, I'm like oh my gosh, I've said that before and there's even a time where I answered a question watching this show and she answered the same way right after, maybe it has to do with the fact that we're both Scorpios. 👀
Yeah. With Tamera on this one. Big surprise right!? Lol anyway I think it's important knowing why their divorced because as she said it could javelin easily been because of something they did and just because it was in a previous relationship doesn't mean jack squat. Lol its not like they get a divorce and everything they've done is cleared and nonexistent.
watching this now makes me understand y Adrienne has always been uncomfortable and kept asking all these questions lol. If you feel funny n have doubt 99% of the time you are right lol
O snap! Someone else is sharing an interesting detailed story today besides jeanie!!👏👏👏
I agree with Tamera that there are certain things you should know about someone if they've been married before (especially if he's a wifebeater or something else crazy!), but I also agree with Tamar and Adrienne on the fact that a previous relationship shouldn't matter. That was BEFORE you and a woman or man should focus on what's happening in their relationship in the present moment.
Very good info!
I just want to thank her for being honest about how she felt because I feel that way and I'm just dating him I'm not even sure if I can allow myself to go down that road just because he was already married this is going to be my first time I feel like she she felt
Good topic!👍
LOVE Adrienne's look
hellll no. I'm not getting into a relationship with a divorced man. most of them tend to think they got it all figured out just because they've been there, but still a selfish, sly, controlling jerk. the reason most of them got divorced in the first place. something went wrong. I don't wanna know why. I ain't dating you.
Can we have longer episodes? Really good show!
I won’t date someone that has been married before. I also wouldn’t be with someone that has kids. I want to start fresh. I also would have so many questions as to why the divorce occurred.
I think this why Adrienne really ended their engagement. She still feels some type of way about him being married before
"It doesn't matter" Yes. Adrienne was sounding a little crazy toward the end :P
If I marry a man he can at least say he is my first and only husband!😤
Tamera confuses me sometimes... U dnt wanna know how many women he's slept with but u want to kno why he's no longer married? Marriage can end for alot of reasons and it may never be at the fault of a man.
She does contradict herself sometimes.
No actually theres a huge difference between wanting to know how many woman he's slept with, that doesnt concern her she shouldnt need to know that. But what does concern her is what went wrong in the previous marriage and if its bad enough for her not to marry him. For example "wife beater", and so on...
Amellia Lilly any man or woman can lie about y their marriage did not work but if i am going to allow you to sleep with me I need to know where you have been and if its medically safe to do so. U could have stds and all and if we go and get checked and it turns out u do have something, im gonna wanna know from who and when did u get it. ur right its totally different.
His sexual history has nothing to do with her, however like she said, if he were a wife beater or something negative about his personality that he would carry on into his new relationship she should know so she can dodge that bullet if need be, No contradictions there!
thatkidd jennifer If he has an STD and gives it to her, it does have something to do with her.
Loni used "it's a sign of the times" in the wrong context and I hate that it's bugging me so much!!! :(
Right I'm like huh how
Lol and I think she said alleading (?) instead of alluding.
How'd she use it wrong ?
Don't even know what it means
Oh I see.. How come I never heard this expression before? Hmm.. But thanx ModernLily 😊
2:38 Adrienne's voice went up a whole octave or two lol!
Tamar is dead wrong. Why the man's past marriage failed IS relevant to the new woman because she's with that same man. The new woman would be wise to figure out what happened and to assess what the man learned and how he's grown since then. Obviously a marriage is between two people, so the man had a part in it. It is very relevant to the new woman.
Adrienne definitely has a type... I hope that her dreams of being married and having kids does come true for her someday because she's not going to get it from men who have divorced their wives with kids after years of marriage. Not in this day and age. I'm sorry A I love yoy...but I really feel for you in the love department! You still have time to get it right!
I mean it could happen but they will have kids with you and expect you to do everything bc they have been there done that
Leah Hannah wedding is November 11 best of luck to her lol
I am so happy for her msjuicy lol... Guess she finally got it right.
Leah Hannah ,why?I mean,why stay in an awful situation, due to children. me,personally, I don't care,long as you're at least making the effort to change,be involved in your child's life,can at least be civil to your ex.yes,there likely was a whole lot of unpleasantness in the end,but why put children in the middle? I don't care if the person I'm with was in a relationship/has children, or not.
Jeannie's manicure and hand jewellery are so cute I only half listened to her
i dont think thats nothing wrong with marry a man thats been married before... but i think if youu havê never been married and if you are much younger than the guy ,you should choose one that has never been married or at least that doesnt have any kids
I kinda want a man whose been married before bc like Loni said, he's already trained. Lol and not just that but he knows how to handle arguments and will probably work a little harder to NOT go through a divorce again
My friend is divorced now b/c her husband was beating her and thankfully she is one of the ones lucky enough to able to walk away with her life and her sanity, so there are reasons like that for divorce and I doubt that man is going to go into his next relationship telling that to anyone so you can't always trust what someone is saying about what really happened in a divorce. I suppose you can look up the reasons in public records and such, but someone said it in their comments that even if the reasons weren't that scary, no one is going to be quick to point out their own faults and flaws as to the reason their marriage ended, but on the same token, in a relationship you have to develop that trust and sometimes take a leap of faith because you may find a diamond in the rough.
There you have it Tamar disagreed with someone other than Jeannie. Now y'all can breathe... :)
😂😂😂😂
Make sure the ex-spouse isn't crazy!! Lol
Being single is awesome. This is what I've learned
Adrienne makeup on point!
I have fallen for a man that is divorced. We have been friends for a year and as of a few months ago started stepping over that line into something that resembles dating. I say resembles because no commitment has been made and he prefers to label it as something casual.
He claims he isn't really quite ready.
It's frustrating because I want to be patient and let things evolve or not. I know in my heart, we would be good together. Don't ask me how, but I do.
Yet, I'm too old to be waiting around for something that may never progress.
I'm faced with three options.
1 - just focus on him, keep things the same
2 - let things continue how they are, but keeping myself open to other possibilities
3 - walk away and if he ever decides he wants something more with me and I'm available then reasses and go from there.
Anyway, this was definitely good to hear and will aide me in my decision.
What did you end up deciding?
Tamara you would have to go to a really close source like the previous wife to find that kinda stuff out
Totally NOT feeling Jeanie's outfit today...no honey, no!
😂😂😂😂
Me either.
I agree completely with Adrienne's actions
im loving adrienne with darker hair
I agree with Tamar. What happened in that relationship is none of my business and I don't wanna know. I wanna focus on us.
Once he's my husband, he's going to ALWAYS BE MY HUSBAND! LOL
When loni said "sign of the times" I remember harry styles song.
Love Jeannie's makeup!
All 5 women keep getting prettier! Shout-out to The Real's stylists and makeup artists!
Aslong he has no kids or has no shared custody and the Baby mama lives far away then I don't see the problem.
I think it can be good, because I kind want someone with a little experienced, but all I need to know is, are you going to do better than your last... if it was your fault.
I struggle with dating a man with children because I have none... And have kept myself.... Is it wrong to think that way?
NO, you aren't wrong! They will always come first, and that should bother you.
It should bother her that his kids come first? Most women will love to find a man who takes care of his kids and puts them first. Kids should always come first.
But it's nothing wrong with wanting a man who on your level with no kids and has never been married before. For some men and women it's easier that way.
Kaitlin Mills There's nothing wrong with his children coming first. It is however detrimental to a relationship, and it's something she wouldn't have to worry about with a man without children.
Kaitlin Mills well they are not my kids and he had them with someone else... And why would be leave someone who he created life with? It might be nice but it could be a patten of not wanting permanent responsibility... No matter what story the tell you no two people are the same
There were 4 bridesmaids and they wore a lilac/turquoise color.
Where can I see Adrienne's outfits? She always looks nice. :)
My boyfriend has been married before and it didn’t work out and he’s unsure if he wants to again. So I am in that place were in three to four years I want to get married. I don’t want to wait around for him for that long and not get a ring because he still doesn’t want to get married.
Adrienne's clueless.. and its endearing.. side note: She looks great in black...and pretty much anything else.
I kind of disagree with Tamar, anytime there's been failed relationships or a failed marriage, i would want to know what the reason being was. Whatever errors he may have made in his previous relationship could be transfer on into our relationship. Like Tamera said what if he was a woman beater? Or maybe even had anger issues? Certain things I just need to know so I know what I'm dealing with and whether or not I want to take things any further. Yes everyone has a past and people do change, but it is possible for people to revert back to their old ways and habits, and it is possible for a person's previous issues to resurface. I'd definitely ask.
It matters to me. But I also think age has something to do with it. I'm 21, so I'm quite young and in the pool of men my own age, it's much easier for me to realistically say that I'd rather not date someone who's been married before or who has kids.
Now, if I were in my late 30s or something, wanting to date men in my age group, that expectation becomes much more unrealistic.
Anyway, I agree about knowing why. I don't like surprises & I don't want to find out that you got some sociopath for an ex-wife or that you was runnin around hiring hookers or some ish....
My friend says that too, about wanting someone without a kid or never been married. We're 23. But she says it's hard because a lot of the guys she's interested are dads already. I remember when I was 19 and wanted to casually date, I would find guys who were divorced at a young age because they either married their high school sweetheart or were in a rush to marry after high school.
Yes!! Thank you for saying that I just had this talk with other people. I just turn 21 and there guys out there with no kids or ex-wife. As I get older and that dating pool gets smaller than thats something I would look at but I'm to young for that drama.
SmileyLizzie04
I think both sides of this argument are valid. Though in extreme cases (such as physical abuse) I would want to know why it didn't work out but otherwise it's none of my business. Leave the past in the past and let's work on US in the PRESENT DAY