Here's the video I've been promising for a while now! I know I said I'd do it on my own channel but I have scratched that idea... I hope you find it insightful and would love to hear your thoughts & experiences!
Summary: 1) Emotional check (whether you have any mental health issues) 2) Maintaining a sense of autonomy (do not do everything together) 3) Keep trying to impress each other (make effort, be the person you'd desire) 4) Avoid routine (predictability kills passion, break the routine sometimes, don't get lazy) 5) Quality time together (put away the phones! enjoy moments together!)
My partner has started turning to her phone after her day at work. She likes to socialize on the social apps and play games on her phone. The communication is all one sided. I’m the only one talking. I try to ask her questions to get her to communicate with me but all I get is short answers and a feeling that I’m bothering her. I’ve tried to talk about what I see is an issue but she says being on her phone helps her to relax. I’m at a loss. Neither of us really care to go out anywhere after spending so much time in the house under the C lockdown. We’re both feeling a little depressed. I’m seeking a counselor to speak with and I hope she will do the same but I know I can’t control her actions. Idk
There are several ideas for saving your partnership Try to talk more Cooperate with each other more Start to give and take more (I learned these and the reasons they work from Pavs partner pundit site )
Same here. Straight and married 30 years, marriage gets stale after this long, but I still have a spark for my husband and can remember feeling in love from our twenties. Watching you two triggers feelings from a long time ago and your advice is so on pointe and it works even after all these years.
My boyfriend of 4.5 years recently broke up with me, we since got back together and have realised the passion has gone. We both love each other but he has been quite distant as he doesn't have this 'fuzzy' feeling anymore. These videos have been very helpful and made me understand a lot more! Now to try and pass this info onto him... 😂 I don't think he realises it is normal to lose that initial feeling
Been with my wife 19 years and the passion has completely gone. We dont even have a group of friends no matter our own. We also have a autistic 4 year old which makes getting time alone hard. Haven't even slept in the same bed for a year as my depression meds make me sleep so deep I snore way to bad for my wife to sleep. But your right I need to try harder I have got way to lazy in my part of our relationship. Plus I came out as FTM trans so that's changed things a little. Thank you for the tips.😍
This is SUCH helpful information. As someone who is in year 5 of her relationship, I can attest that all of these symptoms have 100% come up throughout the years I've shared with my partner. There's such a strong mythology surrounding long term relationships, I think (which may or may not come from the "happily-ever-after" indoctrination we all seem to have gone through as children lol) which says that, if you can make it past one year, two years, or if you ultimately marry your partner, you reach (or "earn") a place of perfection where nothing can threaten the stability you've built with your person. This video is such an important reminder that a relationship is a living thing, made up of individual humans :) I'm sure that I will be coming back to these tips for years to come! Thank you
You,, you juts saved my whole life and i wanna thank you yyohh. I’m so happy i watched this video- I’m out here thinking that there is something wrong with me, with my head but it’s actually the nature of relationships when it fades. I really thought that i was the problem. Now it all makes sense. Thank you so much.
This video was so informative, helpful and inspiring, thank you so much for sharing it! ♥️ I'm super curious and excited already for the next one in this series. :D ☺️
my gf is struggeling with a lot of anxiety and it became a real problem in our relationship... she doesnt think that she is beautiful and attractive herself.. so she couldnt really show passion for a long time now. thank you for the video
(2): also we are in a long distance relationship at the moment. will see her again for the forst time in six weeks next week *-*. i will dress up like on our first date, bring her her favourite flowers and try to surprise her with something
Passion is maintained when intimacy is maintained. Communication prevents little stones from building up that eventually turn into a wall. It can get away from you because each little hurt can seem so small and insignificant. But it adds up till there is so many, you can't count. Don't let it get to this point.
Food for thought, certainly. Just wanted to mention that I love this slightly more disheveled look you have going on with your hair in this vlog Lilian. Very attractive 😊
I recognize a lot of Esther Perel’s work in what you’ve shared here, Lillian. Her work gave me the adjustment in thinking and expectations I needed. Great discussion and advice. Thanks ☺️
Good advice Lillian you are very good at this sort of thing keep the tips coming. You sound and look a bit unwell l wish you fast recovery and good health
You are so lovely. It is ridiculous how amazing you and your gf are. And how open minded you guys are. Unfortunately, I live in the SF Bay area where common sense about LGBT relationships are lost in the toxic politics of the community here. For example, all it takes here is to be silent about the all patriarchy thing, or BLM, or feminist shit. And people would forget how amazing the chemistry is, or how much TLC they got..... sorry for the long vent!
Passion is interesting cause relationship changes over time, and I agree passion has to be in that relationship and that’s up to be working at all times and thank you for this
I liked the way you spoke in this video, more softly & gentle than normal......btw. Anyhow, I would say that being aware of when things start to slide is key & nip it in the bud as soon as possible. It's harder trying to get passion back rather than not letting it go in the first place. Agreed, passion can slow as the years move on but the deeper knowledge one has of one's partner then can make sex more of the mind rather than the body......if you see what I mean.💕💕👍👍🇬🇧 🇬🇧
I’m not a psychologist but I studied Psychology for 6 years and did a lot of reading & research on relationships, so it’s something that I’m really interested in :)
@@nihalhathaway4089 Not necessarily. Becoming a psychologist requires a PhD or MPhil which is 4-6 years in itself and registration with the country's professional body. If some one does a Bachelors (4yrs) and a masters (2yrs) that makes 6 years without being a psychologist. Some people study psych and apply it in a corporate sector work (HR/ marketing/ business) and use psychology education as an additional qualification on top of other professional qualification. So studying psych doesn't always mean a carrier in clinical or therapy work.
@@thesarawickramasinghe5862 I mean, it depends on where you live, right? Because in France, I've just graduated with the title of clinical psychologist with only a masters+internships (I personally think it's insufficient training, but that's just my opinion!). And in North America I think you can be a therapist or councillor with an MA? I'm new enough to this channel that I'm not sure if Lilian studied or will work in Europe, but it really does depend!
Good question - I guess it depends on the kind of relationship you want. Passion leads to intimacy, and a relationship with passion and intimacy is generally how a romantic relationship is defined. But a lot of people are also fine, or prefer, a more companionate relationship, that resembles more a close friendship, where you may have intimacy and commitment, but not passion - so for that kind of relationship, it’s not necessary.
I'm highly sensitive and suffer from anxiety... and he's got ADHD. I'm at the bottom of his priority list. Every day. The catch: we have three kids together. What to do?
What happens when your partner doesn’t want to bring back the passion? They say they just don’t feel it anymore, and don’t really desire it anymore. But you’re willing to put in the effort. Is it worth it to put in the effort, or will you putting in more effort than them push them away?
if they seem like they really don't want to put in the effort after having a talk together...you shouldn't try and instead leave. In the end, it will seem like you put in more effort for nothing. That's what I would do. Have that deep convo with them and make sure how they feel about it. Observe their expressions and words.
Here's the video I've been promising for a while now! I know I said I'd do it on my own channel but I have scratched that idea... I hope you find it insightful and would love to hear your thoughts & experiences!
You have an own channel?!?!!?!
Knuws anyone the nane of her own channel
Summary:
1) Emotional check (whether you have any mental health issues)
2) Maintaining a sense of autonomy (do not do everything together)
3) Keep trying to impress each other (make effort, be the person you'd desire)
4) Avoid routine (predictability kills passion, break the routine sometimes, don't get lazy)
5) Quality time together (put away the phones! enjoy moments together!)
Passion got me to the relationship but communication keeps it going.
My partner has started turning to her phone after her day at work. She likes to socialize on the social apps and play games on her phone. The communication is all one sided. I’m the only one talking. I try to ask her questions to get her to communicate with me but all I get is short answers and a feeling that I’m bothering her. I’ve tried to talk about what I see is an issue but she says being on her phone helps her to relax. I’m at a loss. Neither of us really care to go out anywhere after spending so much time in the house under the C lockdown. We’re both feeling a little depressed. I’m seeking a counselor to speak with and I hope she will do the same but I know I can’t control her actions. Idk
I m straight... I m married but i m still listening to this... Its relevant for all...
There are several ideas for saving your partnership
Try to talk more
Cooperate with each other more
Start to give and take more
(I learned these and the reasons they work from Pavs partner pundit site )
@@patriciaanton7550 actually i hv no problem in my relationship... We are happily married... Anyway thanks for your advice...
Same here. Straight and married 30 years, marriage gets stale after this long, but I still have a spark for my husband and can remember feeling in love from our twenties. Watching you two triggers feelings from a long time ago and your advice is so on pointe and it works even after all these years.
My boyfriend of 4.5 years recently broke up with me, we since got back together and have realised the passion has gone. We both love each other but he has been quite distant as he doesn't have this 'fuzzy' feeling anymore. These videos have been very helpful and made me understand a lot more! Now to try and pass this info onto him... 😂 I don't think he realises it is normal to lose that initial feeling
Even if you are single this is so helpful there is a lot thing you can learn to recognize and avoid to do in a future.
Been with my wife 19 years and the passion has completely gone. We dont even have a group of friends no matter our own. We also have a autistic 4 year old which makes getting time alone hard. Haven't even slept in the same bed for a year as my depression meds make me sleep so deep I snore way to bad for my wife to sleep. But your right I need to try harder I have got way to lazy in my part of our relationship. Plus I came out as FTM trans so that's changed things a little. Thank you for the tips.😍
This is SUCH helpful information. As someone who is in year 5 of her relationship, I can attest that all of these symptoms have 100% come up throughout the years I've shared with my partner. There's such a strong mythology surrounding long term relationships, I think (which may or may not come from the "happily-ever-after" indoctrination we all seem to have gone through as children lol) which says that, if you can make it past one year, two years, or if you ultimately marry your partner, you reach (or "earn") a place of perfection where nothing can threaten the stability you've built with your person. This video is such an important reminder that a relationship is a living thing, made up of individual humans :) I'm sure that I will be coming back to these tips for years to come! Thank you
I think these advises not merely are helpful for the relationship but also for a healthy and productive itself. ✨✨✨
I was just thinking about losing passion in a long term relationship and how can you feel it again.
So this video came on time 👌
You,, you juts saved my whole life and i wanna thank you yyohh. I’m so happy i watched this video- I’m out here thinking that there is something wrong with me, with my head but it’s actually the nature of relationships when it fades. I really thought that i was the problem. Now it all makes sense. Thank you so much.
social anxiety and introversion make it hard
Sorry about that... hope you get better❤️
its happeing to me too, i hope you get better soon
This video was so informative, helpful and inspiring, thank you so much for sharing it! ♥️ I'm super curious and excited already for the next one in this series. :D ☺️
Aw thank you! I’m glad you liked it!
my gf is struggeling with a lot of anxiety and it became a real problem in our relationship... she doesnt think that she is beautiful and attractive herself.. so she couldnt really show passion for a long time now. thank you for the video
(2): also we are in a long distance relationship at the moment. will see her again for the forst time in six weeks next week *-*. i will dress up like on our first date, bring her her favourite flowers and try to surprise her with something
Passion is maintained when intimacy is maintained. Communication prevents little stones from building up that eventually turn into a wall. It can get away from you because each little hurt can seem so small and insignificant. But it adds up till there is so many, you can't count. Don't let it get to this point.
Communication is probably more important than trust.
Seriously
Food for thought, certainly. Just wanted to mention that I love this slightly more disheveled look you have going on with your hair in this vlog Lilian. Very attractive 😊
I recognize a lot of Esther Perel’s work in what you’ve shared here, Lillian. Her work gave me the adjustment in thinking and expectations I needed. Great discussion and advice. Thanks ☺️
Good advice Lillian you are very good at this sort of thing keep the tips coming. You sound and look a bit unwell l wish you fast recovery and good health
You are so lovely. It is ridiculous how amazing you and your gf are. And how open minded you guys are. Unfortunately, I live in the SF Bay area where common sense about LGBT relationships are lost in the toxic politics of the community here. For example, all it takes here is to be silent about the all patriarchy thing, or BLM, or feminist shit. And people would forget how amazing the chemistry is, or how much TLC they got..... sorry for the long vent!
Passion is interesting cause relationship changes over time, and I agree passion has to be in that relationship and that’s up to be working at all times and thank you for this
@Anna Bella Hi how are you today I live in Australia
I'm sooo happy to see ur hair back the way how it was before ! I love your hairstyle (the old one) you really rocked it !
I liked the way you spoke in this video, more softly & gentle than normal......btw. Anyhow, I would say that being aware of when things start to slide is key & nip it in the bud as soon as possible. It's harder trying to get passion back rather than not letting it go in the first place. Agreed, passion can slow as the years move on but the deeper knowledge one has of one's partner then can make sex more of the mind rather than the body......if you see what I mean.💕💕👍👍🇬🇧 🇬🇧
Very well done!
Thank you for the time and effort you spend to do these.
Thanks for this❤️❤️❤️
Yes so right but you are so beautiful couldn't imagine you not sparkling that as you say
Finally some clear answers
I don't even fall in love (expect in you two💕)
1:23 vintage lesbians - WHAT'S THIS MOVIE?!
Lots of good protips as usual! Maybe I'll be circling back here in several years. 🤔
Just wondering if you are a psychologist or something related to it? Anyway lovely video and tips x
I’m not a psychologist but I studied Psychology for 6 years and did a lot of reading & research on relationships, so it’s something that I’m really interested in :)
@@AlexisLilian sorry if I'm ignorant but isn't this the same when you studied psychology for 6 years?
@@nihalhathaway4089 Not necessarily. Becoming a psychologist requires a PhD or MPhil which is 4-6 years in itself and registration with the country's professional body. If some one does a Bachelors (4yrs) and a masters (2yrs) that makes 6 years without being a psychologist. Some people study psych and apply it in a corporate sector work (HR/ marketing/ business) and use psychology education as an additional qualification on top of other professional qualification. So studying psych doesn't always mean a carrier in clinical or therapy work.
@@thesarawickramasinghe5862 ahh okay thanks for explaining :)
@@thesarawickramasinghe5862 I mean, it depends on where you live, right? Because in France, I've just graduated with the title of clinical psychologist with only a masters+internships (I personally think it's insufficient training, but that's just my opinion!). And in North America I think you can be a therapist or councillor with an MA? I'm new enough to this channel that I'm not sure if Lilian studied or will work in Europe, but it really does depend!
your videos are amazing and they are quite helpful thanks
@Anna Bella is this a scam?
@Anna Bella okay, whats this about then?
thank you so much!!
Thanks!
Do I tell my partner that passion has faded?
Do you think that this kind of passion is like necessary in a relationship, even in the beginning?
Good question - I guess it depends on the kind of relationship you want. Passion leads to intimacy, and a relationship with passion and intimacy is generally how a romantic relationship is defined. But a lot of people are also fine, or prefer, a more companionate relationship, that resembles more a close friendship, where you may have intimacy and commitment, but not passion - so for that kind of relationship, it’s not necessary.
Love u guys ❤️
@Anna Bella i love u
@Anna Bella mm
love u and love your hair
I'm highly sensitive and suffer from anxiety... and he's got ADHD.
I'm at the bottom of his priority list. Every day.
The catch: we have three kids together.
What to do?
What happens when your partner doesn’t want to bring back the passion? They say they just don’t feel it anymore, and don’t really desire it anymore. But you’re willing to put in the effort. Is it worth it to put in the effort, or will you putting in more effort than them push them away?
if they seem like they really don't want to put in the effort after having a talk together...you shouldn't try and instead leave. In the end, it will seem like you put in more effort for nothing. That's what I would do. Have that deep convo with them and make sure how they feel about it. Observe their expressions and words.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🙋🙋
So cutee❤
@Anna Bella what nationality are you
@Anna Bella why you want
You may be fake