Is your stuff stopping you? | Elizabeth Dulemba | TEDxUniversityofEdinburgh
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- čas přidán 2. 06. 2024
- Award-winning author, illustrator, teacher and student Elizabeth Dulemba recently sold and gave away nearly everything she owned. And yet, she's no minimalist.
She'll walk you through how she did it, and share how you too can open yourself to opportunities by evaluating your stuff - debunking the illusion of value we place on material possessions.
This talk was delivered at Edinburgh's iconic Central Hall on Thursday, February 18th 2016 and was a part of series of talks given at the TEDxUniversityofEdinburgh 2016 Conference.
Elizabeth Dulemba is an award-winning children’s book author and illustrator, with two dozen titles to her credit. Her lifelong passion for drawing was fostered during kindergarten, something which quickly expanded to encompass creative writing. Her debut historical fiction mid-grade, ‘A Bird on Water Street’ has won five prestigious literary honors. Along with her extensive literary career, Elizabeth is currently studying an Illustration degree at the University of Edinburgh - fulfilling one of her lifelong ambitions.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx
Sometimes I treat stores as art galleries - I walk around and enjoy looking and studying something but I don't need to keep it in my home.
I’m doing the same now. We travel with a club. Lunch in a tourist shopping small town destination. I look but seldom buy, maybe a bar of custom soap if I’ve used up last one before. We were walking out of a kitchen store, ladies walking in astounded we were able to leave without buying anything. Easy I don’t need another gadget, fun to look at and sometimes figure out use.
Me too!
I walk through Tiffany’s as if it’s a museum.
Me too even tho the clerk at the high end speaker store makes a face every time I walk in lololol
Sweetie, that's called window shopping
Great talk. Thank you. Key thoughts:
1. Stuff makes us feel safe.
2. Stuff gives the illusion of permanence.
3. The Marketing Machine tells us we should have/keep/get more stuff.
4. We’re worth more than how society values us, which is how much we contribute to the economy.
5. Become a “conscious keeper”.
6. Donate your stuff.
7. Be honest about all of the costs of storage.
8. The relief of finally being liberated from stuff.
9. We are all “renting” in this life - we “own” nothing.
10. What happens when you are free of stuff - apartment in Blois overlooking the Loire, etc.
11. Realize that the stuff that we keep in our lives affects how we live our lives.
Thanks Dave for make it simple for the keynotes
Thank you
9 resonated strongly with me, especially as I often feel "less" than my siblings because I never bought a home (especially now I rent so called 'social housing')
DO NOT BUY A BIG HOUSE. The truth is you do not need it. More space = buying more furniture to fill it up, paying more for electricity and cleaning lady, more taxes, more mortgage, more repairs, more water to water the big yard etc.
You can hire a cleaning lady? Damnnn your rich?!?!
And that is the truth
My best friend always used to say, "A house is a lifetime hobby." So true... We don't need a bigger house, we need less junk!
Olga Dragomirova I only want a big house so I can help other children.
So true!
I am a stuff person, I love beautiful things. my husband is an experience person. We have a big house and one day he requested to be located to a different state and his boss agreed. We sold the house and almost everything we had... and took a break in the transition. 6 weeks living in Europe, with only 25L backpack each. Laundry each night and live so simple in hotels, airbnbs, we realize we could live only with a few shirts, socks, underwear, a smartphone and a boiling water pot for tea. It changed our lives forever, I no longer enjoy the mall and looking at/buying stuff but now enjoy spending time that promotes experience. Great talk!
Alice S what an absolute gift that you were able to have such an experience!
Wow! So proud of you. It must be wonderful to get to such an epifany.
Alice S Thank you for sharing that. It really us exciting and I am not being sarcastic. Life is for living.
THANKS for telling your story
Love this! Thanks for sharing story!!
The "stuff" vs. "experiences" contrast would be an interesting topic for a children's book. Kids today are sucked into the consumerism vortex at such an early age.
+Mark Northern I agree, Mark! Hmmm, must think on this... :) e
write that shit. should be easy enough. do it.
Mark Northern yes but if it's a book that is *stuff* LoL!!!!
I totally agree. I think it should be addressed at school. But then we would have to have the teacher’s mindset changed.
I’d read it - then pass it on 😀👍
Heh. We went through this a few months ago. 32 years of accumulation. 4 months of shedding, selling, giving away everything. No storage. Four travel bags. We had the “WTF did we just do?” after we got off the plane and were being driven to our first stay in rural Mexico. We walk everywhere, we don’t buy anything that we don’t need. We spend time on the beach. I still work but 100% remotely.
Life is great and, while there are some aspects of Canada that we miss, we have no plans on changing this as we realized that it was the stuff that was running our lives.
Good for you guys! I bet you are not missing the cold 🥶 weather right now! I’m in Ontario and winter is never ending.
In Europe is virtually impossible to store too much stuff because big cities density is super high and flats small compared to America. The average professional couple lives in a 55 mt2 flat or 500 ft2. That’s not much to play with. The thing is, it is liberating. In 9 years, I lived in France, Spain and Germany, learnt 2 languages and met hundreds of different people and cultures, including my husband. Now I have a much stable life in Berlin, but the sense of space and cleanliness at home gives me a sense of peace difficult to describe. We do shop in the supermarket every day what we’re going to cook for the following day, we both take our eco tote bag for doing our groceries so we never ever have to pay for bags, which are btw made of paper as plastic bags are banned. Small supermarkets are every 300 mts, filled with fresh food. The vast majority of Europeans in big cities follow this way of life. We don’t have a car, we have great public transport that takes us to our work and we have two amazing bikes that we use often as well. We take for our trips to the lakes on the weekends. Now we’re planning to move to Munich and guess what... we’ve 4 suitcases and two bikes to take with us. We’re now both 37, I’m an MBA with four languages, and my husband holds a PhD in finance. Our home is bit less than 80 mts2, pretty big as we have two full bathrooms!. When I go to the USA I feel so overwhelmed bombarded by the media, sales, stuff... my friends there accumulate so much... I do understand that the pressure for consumption is extreme in the USA, beautiful things everywhere, don’t get me wrong, I’d also love to go to Joe Malone store and spend 1000€ in 5 useless things, but my European mind would never allow me. I’d be really unhappy right after doing such thing. It’s non sense. Living with less opens your life to a broader opportunity to learn around the world, meeting cultures and people. I declutter every 6 months and its cathartic.
I' m jealous. I love bikes and food.
Realized a few years ago I had accumulated too much stuff in my apartment, plus the place was too big since my son moved out. I found a rented room walking distance to work, for literally a quarter of the price, that included utilities. I sold several collections of books, glasswear, art, four bicycles, donated lots of clothes and furniture, etc. Then I put everything in my SUV in two eight-mile round trips and moved! My life is so much better. I'm neither a hoarder nor a minimalist. I still have numerous footwear, books, etc. The difference is that I wear and read them, not just have them for the sake of having them! Let other people enjoy the books, the glasswear, and art. Like you, I also had a health issue that has improved with downsizing. I walk or ride my one bike to work three of five days a week, weather permitting. I come home to my micro-kitchen and cook the pre-planned dinner for the day. I buy food no more than two days ahead. Cleaning takes about 30 minutes per week! I've more time to pursue hobbies, go to museums, parks, or just curl up with music and a book. Everyone should periodically evaluate how they are living. Do your living conditions suit your life situation? If not, determine what will be a better fit and make changes accordingly. You won't regret it!
But Marie, you ARE a minimalist - you evaluated your life and the ways in which it no longer served you, took action (spreading a lot of blessings for others by pushing on the opportunity to have that rush of getting something new, different, maybe even special), and now you live your life purposefully. You've made it for your needs, and find value in that which you kept and choose to bring into your home and life. That's like minimalism defined! ❤️
You go girl
This lady had a beautiful soft pleasant voice!
True 👌
I'm an experience person and used to believe I could live out of a backpack. I became a stuff person when I became disabled and essentially a prisoner in my home. At that point, I knew that I needed to surround myself with beauty (or at least what I think is beautiful). I'd always had an eye, which was mainly exercised in second-hand stores, but I lost the ability to make the rounds. I now understand the emotional attachment to things. I enjoy my home and limit what I bring into it, and there's only so much stuff one can fit in a home and still be comfortable. Besides, I don't like waste; I don't believe in redecorating just because my mood or styles have changed. However, after making my home comfortable, I ended up doing like my mother before me when she became ill, I purchased clothes for an imagined me. I never understood what compelled her. We never talked about why she purchased those clothes she'd never have an opportunity to wear. I'm having to become unattached to the picture of the life I'd like to lead and using clothes as a fix for the discomfort I feel at my outer world becoming limited. Purchasing furniture that made my surroundings more pleasant improved my life; purchasing clothes I don't need depletes my account and points the way to lessons I need to learn yet in life.
Very compelling thoughts... I find myself facing some of the same issues regarding China, dishes, servingware ( beautiful objects) that I’ve collected for all of the beautiful Dinner parties and Holiday-gatherings that I’m going to have
“ someday”..... Time to say goodbye-to it all and brace my reality. Wishing you the best in your journey.
This is the best comment on here, including the rather obvious and formulaic Ttalk.
I don't know how poor your health is, but I would look into ways that you can still go out. I became disabled and stopped doing things. I later found, once I became used to living with pain, that I could do more than I realised.
Wishing you all the best.
She is a definition of a minimalist. Minimalism is streamlining your material possessions so that all of them have specific meaning and/or importance to you and nothing is extra. Keep your book collection, keep your CD collection, if it has specific meaning to you. Just be conscious of what you surround yourself with and what gives you joy.
I like your Marie Kondo version, but how do you do it with a companion that 'had to have it' (his stuff) and wants to throw out everything that is yours (pmf, my shite), including the things that I use to make him happy. He lives in my house, but doesn't want to see my stuff. 25 years, bad temper and poor health.
She is the definition of the NWO a propagandist. .
G Morgan consider his advice and and get of a lot of your shite gone - kick him out !
G Morgan, Kick him with his bad attitude and his shite to the curb. You will be much happier with him gone! Then you can have what ever you enjoy out to make you happy! Life is too short to waste precious time with a SOB, when you can use that wasted time on your own ambitions.
@@ecouturehandmades5166 - You assert yourself!
Great talk but I'd like to point out something else - your husband! He seems so cool. He kept track of your deepest dreams and desires and he was there to help you make the big decision which surely influenced his life enormously. It's amazing to have such person around, someone who reminds us who we can become while we're not there yet, someone who doesn't let us forget and lose ourselves. I believe you are grateful for him. Stay happy :)
Amazing, indeed!
Good point. My husband's main concern is his work and its all he does. 29 years later I can count on one hand things we've done that are non-work related or time spent together. I now realize I should have left, but always thought things would change and felt strongly about my vows. To any young woman a few years into a marriage where there is no/little forward movement - take my advice: run, as fast as you can.
@@kbld1 18 years in, wishing I had run...
Cq
W
This has to be the most comatose audience ever seen. Kudos for pressing forward with grace ! I appreciate you !
Let us know when Bill & Melinda Gates the Trumps, the VAtican give up their " stuff" .
Great talk it spells - Freedom! And our stuff cannot hug us or kiss us good night! Let go and get livinging your life! See the world🌎
Comatose 😂 perfect word choice
This talk took place in Edinburgh. Scottish people tend to be more reserved and less effusive.
But, still....NO laughter? Were they even awake? These TED Talks are usually more "interactive"....and Scottish people DO have a sense of humour....not even a head nod of understanding...they just sat there like statues!🙄
Kudos to her for soldiering on & not allowing the dullness of the room to dampen her enthusiasm or humour!
People should come with expiration dates on them. If we knew our "end dates", I suspect many of us would live our lives very differently.
waw how true... Me for first!
Good one!
Well said!👏 Agreed!👍
That’s Brillant
A good one!
That’s my professor!! She is amazing!!
Amazing how?
@@williamsnow112 Well she provides great feedback, she is very sweet. She listens when we have something wrong. She is a great person and professor. I’m lucky to have her.
Your lucky to worship a liar? Then God bless.
@@williamsnow112 may I ask why you think that? Lmao
Your 100 percent correct.
Qe sold a huge farm houses our kids qere gone we gave away so much , took to churchs, then qe rented a kittle house that I swear to you was 1 3rd of rhe sixe of the farm house. I gave books to the nursing homes ,
After living in the lirtle house a year I went threw stuff again and got read of alot of stuff again .
We recently purchased out deeam home 17 hundred square feet its smaller than my rental i am off ooading alot of stuff again, but I am buying all new furniture but I need it . It feels amazing to dpwn size and just have what I need .
What makes me happy is my little cat , 2 little dogs, my fish that make me happy I live walking on cool evening on the beach with my dogs I love sitting on my little deck with coffee .with my dogs ,cat on my lap at my side .I love my grandaughter living close who loves to walk on the beach holding nanas hand that makes me passes hapoy she lives ro cuddle on the couch and watch boss baby lol.
I love my little life 💛
"Is that lamp gonna cost me a dinner with my husband?" Hahaha, this is so perfect. So true.
Is the reason we don't go out to eat more because of my Aunt's lamp?! ;p Else, we pick up a cheese steak and eat it by the light of the lamp..... that's good for now. But this was a great message!
I`d rather buy a lamp that I can see every day than a dinner that is out of my system few hours later.
Its not too convenient carrying a lamp around in your holdall when you are travelling around collecting amazing experiences.
@@Jana0821 then imagine something smaller, not a lamp, a piece of jewelry maybe ?
Make a simple dinner at home and look for that favorite lamp used...there is a type of lamp I always wanted, but it's so expensive. I don't have to have it, but I would like it and I am waiting till I can find it used somewhere :)
I am in the process of de-cluttering. The hardest things are my children's things, because by giving them up, I feel like losing my babies...but they are just growing up, not dying!!!
I have Asperger's and I can't stand having much things around me. Most of my shelves are empty as are my closets and walls. I like it that way. Today that's very trendy, haha.
Yay, whoop! Yup it can be all or nothing for folk with Autism.
I've spent most of my life having to do without . Now here's someone from the other side of the fence saying " You haven't missed as much as you think . " I love it !
The solution: Pretend you're moving to Japan: A couple I knew here in the States got transferred to Tokyo. They were told to only bring with them what they needed to the new apartment and the rest of it was going to be packed in a shipping container which would be delivered 6 months later. So they move to Tokyo to their little apartment with just the necessities which they bough with them. They were perfectly happy. Then six months later comes the container from Connecticut and they thought, "What are we going to do with all this stuff???!!!"
Barbara Rivera 😂😂
Tout ce dont on peut se passer durant 22 mois... on n en a plus besoin. !!
Juste prise de conscience.
I'm thinking of all the bills I could have paid off if only I hadn't made all those purchases. 😢
Who do you think brainwashed you into buying all that stuff? TV radio, magazines, newspapers, circulars it's was the opposite of this propaganda that's who. Now they want you to give all your stuff away to charity who are all outcrops of large foundations. That is part of the agenda of the UN and the new world order, we little people are to own NOTHING.
You are not alone! We all regret things done in the past, It's a major cause of depression. We can't change it so the best thing to do is forgive yourself and move on. 😀
Never to late to realise. Just continue on from that realisation.
Thank you. I struggle every day with being what I call a "maximalist". The high of shopping for stuff gets replaced with being overwhelmed from managing all the stuff.
Someone once said "you don't own stuff, it owns you". So true. Clutter is depressing and taking care of it is stressful. Your talk gives me hope.
Me too I hate it
Tyler Durden, Fight Club
People have lost their memories and grip on what was good in our collective and personal past(s). This minimalistctrend is capitalisms way to create a market for us to eventually buy more, while filling the landfills with beloved memories. Scaring old people who deserve our respect. At the same time, breaks need to be put on accumulating more when I don't need more. But yesteryear is real to me. My home is a home and part museum of my real history. Please don't throw away your history. (I own and cherish children's books my 85 year old parent gave me recently she saved from our family in the previous century, among other treasures!!!)
She made good sense! There was a time that I recall my father saying to me, "You know, you'd have a lot of money if you didn't travel so much!". I said to him, "You're right, but I have all my experiences, and nobody can ever take THAT from me!". The money wasn't as important to me as it was to him. I loved having my wonderful memories! I really enjoyed your story Elizabeth!
I just cleaned my bedroom and tossed all the stuff I haven't worn in years. That was half of my clothes. It's just mind blowing to realize all the junk we tend to hoard.
“Good health is a gift...not a given” well put.
""I don't want everything in the world, where would I put it?" Steven Wright
Great talk. The unappreciative audience took nothing away from your talk. My husband and I began a similar journey but held onto the storage. You have inspired me to free myself of the remaining stuff. Thank you.
It's not that they were unappreciative, it's just a different culture. They listened quietly, which is a sign of appreciation. ;)
Many of the expressions she used are not in common use in Scotland (although understandable), and Brits don't live the American dream. Next to no one can afford houses that size. It's also a somewhat less consumerist society. So the 'before' life she referred to wasn't the experience of the audience. There's also a very different humour on this side of the Pond. :)
Goodluck
I'm thinking the people who would attend this talk are more thoughtful than many others. Maybe that's why their responses were minimalist;)
Yeah, tough audience. Maybe they were thinking she was a talking book
OMG thank you very much. For me, There is two best point on this tedx talk :
1. Are you stuff person or Are you experience person?
2. You can go every where if you have less stuff. Then makes ur self so mobile.
Thanks
Renaldi Wicaksono bbтхар
YES. it has been stopping me. It's the reason I've been down in the dumps on and off for the past 4+ years. :,(
Same
Then do it, get rid of it, use the money to do something great with someone you love!!! You don't need it😊😊😊👍👍👍
Gee tough crowd! She was fabulous. Great talk. Very inspiring x
So true! Was this talk given at midnight and were they all sleeping? Not a peep, a clap or a laugh. Yikes!
Haha this crowd cannot relate they love their stuff
Sorry, she’s in Scotland.! We are dour by nature, doesn’t mean she wasn’t appreciated x
She's in Edinburgh. The people are quite hard to please.
@@kbld1 Scottish.
Stuff vs. experience. This TedTalk gave me the closure I need from recently loosing all of my belongings due to not being able to pay my storage fee (semi-long story). I knew it was stuff that was just holding me back from my next phase in life. I too want to go back to school for my masters, travel the world, learn languages and live abroad and write many books. I’m glad I clicked play. You are very very very inspiring.😊
So thank you!...BIG THANK YOU!!!
You are so right. I lost everything in a house fire. It's all just stuff.
So true. I didn't lose stuff in the fire, but had to evacuate with just what I could fit in the back of my pickup. I've never felt more freedom in my life! So, now I'm selling anything I don't use on a monthly basis. Later this year, I hope to sell everything I don't use o a weekly basis!
So did I and the only thing I miss are my Bible and my children's pictures.
Sheri Frederiksen
🥰💕
When I was in my early twenties my childhood home burned. My parents and siblings and most of the pets got out. It gave me a different relationship to stuff earlier than my peers.
I used to collect lots of things. Minerals, old pottery etc. I had around 200 antique vases, now I'm slowly selling them. They don't sell for much, but I'm still able to get back the money what I spent on them. Why I decided to get rid of them? I realised we just had no space in our two bedroom flat, so much space was taken up by stuff which was never used by me or my husband. They just started to weight me down. I still love antique pottery, but now I want to own only few pieces, not couple of hundred.
Your health's your wealth. We need to shed the STUFF.
I've just realised I'm listening to this whilst doing some online browsing!!
is it a sign for me? we are in escrow buying this big beautiful house.. and now sitting in a garden in Bangkok & finding this randim video to watch.. really strange.. should i walk out before getting all the staff..
I started my "second life" a year ago after a serious concussion... none of us are promised tomorrow! Coming a bit too close to not having tomorrow or the possibly of not being able to remember any of my tomorrows has definitely changed my outlook on life. It's not that I didn't know, in theory, that I was finite - it's that I hadn't been forced to face it.
I recently had a brain tumour, operated on successfully, we moved house and I retired (read 'no income'). I don't know which of these events changed everything but it (or all of them) did. I no longer visit charity shops and buy knick-knacks and clothing and I no longer wander round towns looking for something to buy as a way to entertain myself.The desire to have, to own, and to fill the house has gone and I can let go of just about anything. I get pleasure from the things we have kept and enjoy colour and pattern around the house but it is not my life any more. It felt like I was trying to fill an empty space and now I realise that the empty space was inside of me. I have had to slow down, take things gently and get enjoyment from the simple things in life and there are plenty of them, I just couldn't see them for all the clutter
So true, the clutter blocks the view.
Well said, Angie!
Beautiful and inspiring.. thank you!
Good for you for surviving the tumour. Older people who have been through a health crisis naturally start to get rid of extra and stop purchasing, - however that's not what this " give it all away" agenda is about.
So many of us try to fill the emptiness inside with objects or try to avoid the Dark night of the soul. I applaud you, Angie, for realizing this and sharing your thoughts. Wishing you wellness.
When i watch hoarders i start looking around
and think to myself, what can i donate that i wouldn't miss all the stuff i planned donating stayed in my trunk till i no longer think about them then off to savers to deposit my donations and i dont look back or try to reorganize the bags i just hand them over and walk away and if its clothing i use those giant donation boxes outside which you can't change your mind and try to retrieve it only opens one way.
When they didn't laugh at the Steven Wright joke I realized the entire crowd is in a damn coma !!!
Max Maxwell we ainer
I don't know who Steven Wright is either.
@@catb8661 Welcome back from your coma
No, that's not fair. I didn't laugh either because I was absorbing what she'd said. And I totally agreed with the 'joke' which wasn't really a joke.
😂
Thanks for your talk Elizabeth!
I absolutely ADORE my clothes and pretty shoes. Lately though I've been looking at my stuff and feeling weighed down. Cannot believe this is me saying this.
I've had overwhelming urge to declutter. Decided to follow the impulse. Getting ready for a wonderful life experience.
Your adventure inspired me. This approach is scary and exciting ... and then scary again. Eeeek!
Good luck to everyone xxxx
Fan-TAS-tic talk. I was an Army brat for 23 years. Moved every 2.5-3 years. “Stuff” became the constant, the security, and my grandmothers’s stuff became comforting and a reminder of wonderful times and unwavering love. I’m 62, and trying to face this down.
Hello Nancy, how are you doing?
Great talk to a zombie audience ! Thankyou
So inspirational. I want to change my life in some big ways, not move continent but I've finally in my 40s met the man I know I want to spend the rest of my life with. We plan to move in together, me moving to his place first then us both finding a home that works for us. When he speaks of making more storage space I always reply with 'Let's just get rid of things we don't use or need'. I am prepared to get rid of pretty much everything other than the basics I need to function day to day, and a boxful of favourites. He's now pretty much on board with that too, and isn't a clutterbug.
When I think of my ex, his home was rammed full of his things and those of his deceased parents, some of it beautiful but much of it worthless (despite the old promise, it'll be worth money some day - it never is) as he discovered when he tried to sell things. It ultimately made us both miserable. I never want to be that person who leaves a guilt legacy of unwanted stuff for someone else to deal with.
The more I listen to talks like this the more I realize stuff is only holding my good man and me back from having the life we want. Thank you for sharing.
Hello, I hope you're safe over there? I hope this year brings happiness, prosperity, and love all over the world, I would love us to be good friends in honesty and in trust if you don't mind. I'm Doctor Christopher Johnson from San Francisco, California, where are you from if I may ask
Nice talk. myself and my wife sold everything we had, left our jobs and traveled around the world. Mostly air BNB we didn't rough it daily. People still say why would you do that you could have bought a car or a house. I can tell you it was the best decision ever made. Experiences we can share a lifetime. Do you remember the experience of buying your last pair of jeans or car?
Mike Hobson good for!!! I went back to school after age 67!
Roisin Because to each their own.
Roisin
I'm
Roisin h
LOL it's kind of hard to forget those experiences of buying cars.
Thank you! I bought my house in 2009 and have been miserable every sense. I'm so house poor that I have to constantly rent rooms to afford it @ only the small cost of my peace and sanity. I been saying for years now I should walk away from my house and everyone keep advising me against it, I have a goal of being a very successful arts and crafts maker in my area. I'm going to sell everything and start over, claim my house back and start a business in the basement. I want my house, peace, sanity and independence back. I have a small child so I can't follow your path but mine is much more clearer. Thank you so much.
You sound like me! I love craft making but it requires so much ‘stuff’! ‘Stuff’ is taking over our tiny home there’s no room for us four to literally live, let alone sit down together! Extremely sad!
You do it! What other people think (even me lol) is totally irrelevant to what's best for you. And only you know that. Besides finding reliable people as roomies is difficult - always is for me.
If you can, rent the house out. You will have either income from it, or an appreciating asset, that you can sell if you need to in order to support your 'stuff-free' dream. IMAO
@@stickerlady1774 Agreed. Craft DOES require loads of stuff, and to sell it, you have to have customers who want more stuff. Minimalists are the enemy of the potter.
Great talk! What’s up with the audience? So many opportunities for laughs, but she was rewarded with crickets.
It's amazing how great it feels when you realize how much you really need and even want. The freedom you get when you surround yourself with experiences instead of collecting things is priceless.
Last year, I cluttered all of my stuff into boxes. It was weird how I wanted to de-clutter everything! I got the room I imagined, empty and spacious. Then, I found this book a few days ago that explains about a minimalist life. And it clicks. That's me! I never realise how I'm unconsciously doing it. I still have those boxes outside my room and am ready to get rid of it. :)
This is why I live out of two small backpacks one for clothes one for everything else. I love the freedom
This year (2022) for Christmas, I didn't get my family material items, instead I offered to pay for an experience that me and that other person would enjoy. The note came with a hand-drawn card from me and what I would like to do with that person. I think that spending time with my family means more than any gift I could give them.
If everyone who watched this actually applied this, the world would change!
And how great it would be!
My father is dying of cancer and despite his rapidly deteriorating condition, he not only refuses to leave his home for more quality care, but has allowed papers and other "stuff" to literally take over. Your second point: "Stuff gives the illusion of permanence..." was SO very eye-opening to me, and helped to explain WHY he has hunkered down in the midst of it all. As a librarian who follows your web site and appreciates your "Coloring Page Tuesday" illustrations, I'd been looking so very forward to hearing your TED talk and was NOT disappointed! Thank you SO much for sharing!
that was exactly what resonated for me.....
We are moving, and I am selling 80% of what we accumulated for almost 20 years together as a family, and it feels goooood. The new house - as I decided - will be clean and only with things that have meaning, or handmade. I had my garage sale this weekend, and our old house feels so empty. All the pictures, wall hanging, majority of kitchen items.... all went yay! Yet, I just purchased new patio furniture for the new home... so we would not sit on the logs lol I am still thankful for all the good things we can have if we want. I grew up in poverty with one dress to wear in my childhood.... I won't the stuff take over my life, I know that, but still enjoy my stuff )) OK does this make any sense..?
I’m 48 and I’m so NOT a stuff person. My last two children, twins just turned 18 and after they are finished needing to live at home I’m getting rid of everything except what fits into a backpack and I’m going to travel and see the world. This is old and Covid is an issue now, but I’m going to travel as much as I can. We already are minimalists, so there isn’t much to begin with, but still it’s all going.
Although i do like experience, i also like stuff. But I'm not drowning in it. It's just, I have a few things, that I truly treasure, like some necklaces, some adorable mini figures, a couple bookmarks and sweet smelling chap stick. All of this fit in a small box. I believe that materialism is holding on to things that don't really serve a purpose or make you happy. It isn't usually much but stuff varies from person to person.
I agree with this, though I’d also add that being a nomad can still be expensive. We need a basic level of stuff. The amount that we value that stuff can actually shift even if we don’t have much. It’s also about maintaining meaning and connection. Also, having a place to call home (as long as it’s low cost or mortgage free) insulates us. Say when there is a pandemic.
I'm another *READER* and collector of my favourite books, literally hundreds upon hundreds of books, even now, after 3?Purges of BOOKS!(alone) so, given that I have a terminal illness, my 3 children have made me *promise* to make sure they wouldn't have to deal with the books, I still have even my old University texts, they're far from interested in Genetics, statistics,biology or chemistry, so...let alone psychiatry or psychology, regular or deviancies...
Fair enough, I'll just make a few trips to the library over a few weeks and take my (not so)little grocery cart that can lug almost 100 books at one time each trip. Given that EVERY book in my collection has been carefully selected, not simply swooped up as readable, I'm pretty certain they'll be as treasured as they have been for me.😉💝maybe that's hopeful thinking, but I KNOW they won't be chucked into a dumpster!
i love books too and I decided to start selling my books on Amazon FBA and donate to libraries , mini libraries, books and schools, donate to non profits outside of Goodwill
All my collections are hiding scared right now....
hahaha
@ChiliContestWinner I guess you found out you are a collector, not a minimalist! Enjoy!
LOL
I stopped collecting “things “ that I purchase but now I bring home sand from beaches. I put it in a nice jar with a label of where & date. I also have a little basket of stones or sea glass or whatever catches my fancy just to remember a place in time. When it comes time for us to downsize I’ll take a pic and then say goodbye to it all without feeling guilty. We will be full time RVer’s.
Minds Eye Visual Guitar Methods that’s funny. So are u going to war with ur stuff
to get rid of TV is very important I think. about 5 years ago I stopped watching TV and in a few months, I realized that I and my husband weren't going shopping as we used to before. we used to go shopping a lot and buy every needless stuff. I think subliminal commercials are much more effective than we think. If I wanna watch something, I only use the internet now and I buy only what I really need now.
I recently got rid of the tv. It feels really strange-and quiet! But this is going to allow me time to do important things.
@@laineygann7713 you can listen to music, instrumental, motivational, classical or whatever you like. I sometimes listen to Thomas hall's subliminal motivation videos or soft music with nature sounds, sometimes ABBA, or Chinese, Japanese music. They are relaxing and I can study something at the same time.
@@rosarosa3048 Thank you for this idea.
Three years ago I made a conscious decision to stop buying stuff and to get rid of as much as possible. Ebay to the re$cue. My house and my life are about as streamlined as they can get. And it feels great!
I'm 5 years into it and don't miss anything I've sold. Living debt free is the main thing, for those people here who are stuck on what to do after you sell. Do what fits your life and financial situation.
“The stuff we keep in our lives affects how we live our lives”.....so true.....perfect....Thanks.
Just what I needed to hear just as I am selling my home and moving to another state as a temporary stop to care for aging family before starting the 3rd chapter of my life! I have all of this cool antique stuff that feels like such a burden any more to own, let alone have to find new homes for-but as I do, I weigh less as each thing leaves. I realize that in some ways, I’ve been paralyzed by living a “stuff-based” life-style when this whole time I didn’t know I was an “experienced-based” person. Thanks for giving me the language! Great talk Elizabeth!!
Hi barbara rose! I love how you say "I weigh less" as each thing leaves. To use a 21st Century word, you have given me perhaps a way to "gamify" my letting beloved things go!!! I will weigh less!!!!
My husband and I had been saving to buy a house but we decided to rent in the meantime and Im so glad we did because I realized how much I hate it. Its a lot of work to keep clean, encourages me to buy more stuff and a lot of wasted space that we are paying for but not using. So we've decided to move back into an apartment and possibly look into buying a condo in a few years. I really want to travel the world so I dont want to be bogged down with a 30 year mortgage so this is just the validation I needed. Great talk!
Fantastic, e! My "stuff" moment came when I had two family estates to deal with after two deaths. Imagine dealing with other's stuff that was accumulated for decades and never purged. I admire your courage and dedication to honoring your path. Life experiences can be truly magical if we open ourselves to opportunities and engage them. ❤️
+Teresa Rolfe Kravtin That would definitely be a wake-up call! Thank you Teresa! :) e
Teresa Rolfe Kravtin the same thing scares and awaits me. my mother is hoarder and collects stuff for over 40 years... she is prisoner of all that.. she could live wuality life but she doesnt wants to give up her stuff. i finally accepted that its her choice and responsability. i am not gonna do that kind of mistake
That is a bummer . Disposing of a dead family member's accumulated stuff .
Step1 ) Get rid of all televisions in the home. 2) No unsupervised internet use. Ideas to start with. I dont understand why almost all kids have cell phones. ..young grade school ages even. If its a safety reason or no land line... get the old basic, simple flip phone with no internet.
Internet..a double edged sword. Children do not need a phone til they're old enough to need being able to contact u (vice versa) when they're away..at least middle school aged, and any internet access should be set w parental controls. The things children are able to experience on line otherwise is unacceptable and damaging. What really is an issue is sending them to school and other children having phones and unrestricted access..who knows what ur children are being exposed to thru those other children. It's a tough world these days, one society needs to reevaluate for sure.
I’m sitting here with a broken ankle, 5 unfinished books, wanting to be traveling and cooking in Italy!! I currently have 3 storage units of stuff and a cluttered home. WOW DID THIS hit me in the gut❤
You have helped me more than you'll ever know!!!!! You are such an Inspiration 💖
I want a few high quality things. I hate having a ton of medium to low quality CRAP. i would love a new macbook pro. But im fine with less than 10 books and 30 clothing items. Like clutter gives me anxiety and i just want to throw everyones stuff out bc i know they dont use t or actually care about it. Marie Kondo saved my life lol
PinkFurryHat same here I hate having all this crap around or stuff I only semi like and probably don't even use
does this bring me joy. what a great concept.
0:36 simply INCREDIBLE - the idea that you don't need to own some thing - that thing - for it to have value to you.
` Steven Wright & George Carlin both masters of the humor in stuff.
Great Video! I'm only 17 years old, but I can really understand you. I accomplished on thing on your list. I'm bilingual. I speak German and English. It's great if your'e not a native English speaker. You will definitely learn it at school.
Last year we downsize from 3740 sf home to 1150 ft, throw away 1/2 of our stuff we haven't use in years. We still have a lot to let go. I keep a list of items thow away / donate and any non-food items coming in the home every month. This keep me inspire
1. Stuff helps people remember experiences. 2. Experience is temporary and can become a crystalized dogmatic form. People in nursing homes need much more of their stuff around them. (Doctor's will figure this out decades from now. 3. Some stuff I have because it was acquired while emotional (like food). Your body is temporary but your Soul is immortal. I love stuff. But I am not attached to it. Someone wants to buy it I will sell it. My coat got stolen I still miss it. I am attached to people and pets as well. Are they stuff> Desire and stuff are only wrong if they make you feel trapped.
Excellent points here!
Tough crowd
A beautiful speech and beautifully spoken. Thank you for the message.
I am 54 married with 2 sons..ages 22 and 15......I have spent most of my life caring for others....raised modestly, in same city I still live in Savannah Georgia......
my modest home is 6 years away from being paid off......thinking that my youngest is almost grown, and they can call this home theirs, it will free us up to maybe travel some.. not financially able to yet, but knowing my kids have a home, creates a door for me to feel a sense of freedom......stuff has been my problem.....it's difficult to let go.....great talk.
So many people are commenting on the quiet audience.
1) No audience is that quiet, therefore it's likely that a filter has been used so we only hear the speaker.
This audience is polite and listening attentively (they aren't walking out), so it's incredibly unlikely that they wouldn't clap.
2) An audience in the UK is usually less effusive than one in America anyway.
3) Many people smile, rather than laugh, at witticisms. So, even if there's no noise filter, a quiet audience doesn't mean an unappreciative audience.
Some people don't think before they comment.
Loved the talk, but it kind of bugs me that she keeps saying she's not a minimalist, because this is exactly what minimalism is. she said something along the lines of "I'm not telling you to throw away all your stuff, I'm not a minimalist." Minimalists don't tell people to throw away all their stuff either... they basically say all of the same stuff that is said in this video.
Anyway, aside from that little peeve, I enjoyed the talk a lot. Lots of great stuff!
I don't think there is a set definition of minimalism.
I think she met at heart about being a minimalist. That was my take on it anyways. It was something she had to work at and not something that came naturally or easy for her.
I agree with you, as though it’s a bad term. I’m a minimalist. And it’s great.
Probably she sees it as the extreme of not having nothing except for what you need for today. Probably she has figurines and not need stuff that simple looked cute without harming her life plans. But I agree that there isn't a clear definition yet.
16:14 She said it herself. She had to make it sound attractive to the folks that follow the materialistic path and make herself easier to relate to, so her message can be taken on and understood. She is leading the minimalist way of life .
Three years ago I lost everything I owned when the flat I rented burnt down. It was has changed my life and the way I look at "stuff" forever. I realised that you do not need much to get by. Letting go of your stuff makes so much space in your life to focus on the things that really matter to you.
I am so glad to hear someone talk about the way I live. No technology, no great furniture, no closets full of shoes or clothes, just because I like the way they look. I do not place any value on material objects, but I do place a lot of value on my day to day experiences. I don't even go out with friends for the occasional coffee, why would I, when I have coffee at home???
Thank you!
I have downsized a few times in my life, and I'm kind of....ready to let go of a bit more... and of course was having difficulty at not getting the little furry friend, then letting go of the extra dozen towels, and ... etc.! Many of the dreams on my checklist had been fulfilled. So after watching your presentation, I was able to let go some more, and get back on track with my list of dreams. My book has been published, now The Grand Canyon. LP Nakonechny
this came in best time for me....my stuff holds me too much in the same place
its amazing i have been feeling this for a long time -and stumbling on this video is a confirmation-stuff!!! as george carlin put it so well!!! i keep on saying how many pairs of jeans,or shoes?we keep on wearing the same thing nearly...consumerism is prison!!!i want to get rid of everything!
yes volunteering its been on my mind,i wish i could just pack up a suitcase only and go!!!!
A few months ago, I had a radical shift in my thinking... I was no longer attached to my stuff. I am almost 50 years old and I can't wait to get rid of it.
LOL
monkeynumber nine About a year now. Still waiting to get rid of it, aren’t you? Not as easy as they say.
Smaller is sometimes better .
Thanks so much for sharing this, Elizabeth. It has been truly encouraging and just what I needed to hear. I keep watching it over and over for motivation. I'm truly grateful for your sharing your story. And the other commenter was right, a kids book about this subject would be brilliant and you are the perfect person to do it! Thanks again! I hope that you're continuing to stay healthy. :) Take care.
Well said, e! It's always useful to rethink one's priorities and assumptions. Another bonus...I always find that clearing up my studio leads to a burst of creativity.
+Loreen Leedy Awesome Loreen! :)
Absolutely amazing!! I’m a stuff person and an experience person and after these 18 months of Covid I realize I’ve been using my stuff to supplement my experiences!
Buying only cruelty-free (not tested on animals) products helped me NOT to buy tons of beauty/cleaning products and saved me thousands. Now I am more mindful, I read labels and look for that bunny symbol. No more impulse buys! If it is tested on animals, I just can't buy it, even if it is on 90% sale. I honestly thought that switching to only non-cruelty brands will be difficult. In fact, I love it, it helps to fight urge to buy cosmetics/cleaning products etc. Unexpected benefits!
she is so eloquent. the cherry on top to beginning my journey to give up consumerism. i need and want a change so badly.
This made me so emotional and I was so touched the whole time. I've been meaning to get tid of the clusters getting in my way and piles of clothes waiting to be sorted and let go of. I think I had doubts that I might regret making the choice to throw things out and miss them later on...I am really inspire to get on with it now starting with my kids clothes
1 80l backpack & 1 50l backpack is all the stuff i own and am bi coastal i live my life to the fullest
love my life
yes am a minimalist
If you get sick to the point that experiences are rarely possible, that's when 'stuff' becomes assumes importance. Makes it more difficult to get rid of very much.
I hesitate to contradict, but Elizabeth sounds very much like a minimalist to me! Minimalism doesn't mean having nothing, it means having only useful and value adding items in our lives - the precise values she used to measure what she kept up against. :)
Thanks for this talk. I need all the encouragement I can get. I was a "stuff person" and became a shopaholic hoarder until I ran out of money and space. About three years ago I switched and started getting rid of stuff. I don't want any of it. I want to sell the big house and get an RV and travel. But it is very difficult to get rid of as nobody seems to want it. I don't know if I'll make it but I keep working on it.
Keep trying to sell it online. Facebook, Craigslist, Nextdoor, or have a few friends join in and do a large yard sale. If you're not moving and don't need to give it away, just keep trying. You'll sell that stuff eventually. Or take a tax write off and donate large chunks if it brings more mental clarity 👍
Jesus... Just.... Jesus! That experience person being stuck in a stuff life... Holy.... Thank you! Thank you so much for all these thoughts that hit me at a depth I can't even process after the first time watching. I will revisit just to make process on all the topics addresses that pertain to me.
Fabulous talk Elizabeth! So inspiring. I did something similar in my 20's. Now I'm in my 40's and wondering if maybe a new adventure is calling me. Need to start writing my checklist and reflecting on if the way I live reflects my goals and dreams now. Thank you.
Have just retired from a 50 hour week job and your talk was exactly what I needed to hear. Finally have time to address the mess and dig out. Your explanation was so lucid and freeing. Thank you
Hello Linda, how are you doing?
you have the most common sense of all motivational speaker I have heard so far. I am in the transition now oder
for getting rid of stuff and moving away.
The happiest time in my life was when I was 20/21. I bought a two month bus pass and bused and backbacked cross the northern US and up into Canada. When the bus pass ran out a dear friend, second mother and mentor sent me $3000 to buy a used VW bus and I bused up into Canada over the Rockies to Vancouver down to Seattle. From there to San Francisco over to Yosemite were I worked in housekeeping for 20 days then came home.
I'm now 64, I inherited my parents house, mortgage and stuff. It's a nice Cape Cod in a nice neighborhood so I'm torn between staying and putting up with all the responsabilities or selling it buy a car with a teardrop trailor and taking off. But I'm not 21 and due to a past car accident not in the best physical condition, so at times I feel between a rock and a hard spot.
I'm an artist, want to start another business, publish short stories on Kindle and love to tell stories, but Elizabeth is right my stuff is holding me back. This program though has sparked new incentive, maybe I was meant to view it. Have a nice day and follow your bliss.
You lucked out and have inherited property ! I would keep the house( or opt for a condo ) to have for my upcoming senior years and take shorter trips . Wanderlust is a tough thing to control. I have it too
Thank you for this talk. Given my own health problems, I can't backpack the world a few weeks at a time or even a year. And given our age, we can't retire ;) So, my dream has been to live in different cities around the world 2 years at a time. An opportunity came up before we were ready, and it was hard because have a full house, in mid remodel mode, and a brand new mortgage! Well, we took the opportunity to move, or my husband did, but now we have get rid of all the stuff and wrap up the remodel, and move along to our next city. My love for owning a house has recently turned into wanting to be mobil. Your talk was so very right on and helpful. I keep dragging around a gorgeous very expensive contemporary dinnete set-wrought iron, tile, solid wood, made in North Carolina, where all the furniture companies went belly up-can you see it?? I love it!!- and I have it in storage house after house since two houses again. Combining your talk with "drawing my ideal life picture" exercise from another talk and yours, I am ready to take this on. Thank you!
We become possessed by our possessions. Thanks so much for this inspiring talk. I am going to use it to help part with things that no longer fit my lifestyle and are in that forgotten spot! Who knows maybe I will move to another country and find the courage to sell almost everything. I am beginning to learn Spanish!
Great, inspiring talk. The less we have, the freer we feel.
+KitKat86 Indeed!
guitar lessons blues
dobros
I have a very small budget in comparison to others in my age bracket ; this talk helped me to not feel so unaccomplished about not having all that "stuff " .