Alaska - Nostalgia Critic
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- čas přidán 5. 09. 2015
- Charlton Heston trying to gun down a Polar Bear? You sure this is fiction?
Originally aired on 8/22/2011.
Alaska is a 1996 American adventure survival film directed by Fraser Clarke Heston and produced by Andy Burg.
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"I looked up and saw an eagle."
"Does he deliver mail faster than you?"
*cues air horn*
"You know what the eagle is also a symbol of? The Post Office" lost my shit
I lost it when he quietly flipped the guy off.^^
GIMME MY MAIL, YOU FUCKING OLD MAN!
"Hey, did you hear something?"
"You mean that blood-curdling scream?"
"Yeah"
"No"
I love that part
fun fact: Polar Bears are one of the few animals on earth that actively stalk and hunt humans for food when given the opportunity. Anyone who thinks a bear, which is basically a land dwelling shark, is a cuddly misunderstood creature is INSANE. Yeah I am talking about the grizzly man.
Bears are my favorite animal and let me tell you this now. You are absolutely right. Bears, much like a lot of animals, are not playful. They are predators, some are even in the apex predators class. Grizzly man was a fool. I however am not. I know these animals and how dangerous they are if disturbed.
You think a Grizzly is dangerous, imagine how dangerous Grizzly 2 is.
@@geoffreysorkin5774 dire bears are more dangerous. They are like regular bears but they're dire.
@@geoffreysorkin5774 2 Grizzly, 2 Bear
Aw, but they're sooooo cute.
Seeing the baby bear trying to lick his mom's face is just heartbreaking. :'(
Yeah that bit is so horrible and unnecessary in the movie. The critc seemed disgusted
Yeah the critics face @7:02 is an obvious sign that tells you that these guys a nothing but a sick, vile, worthless pieces of pathetic garbage.
That should have not been in a family movie!
It could have worked if the movie was an R-rated thriller in which the bear avenges his mother's death and reclaims his title as the king of Alaska.
Yeah, that was a cheap way to estabilish those characters as hate sinks.
In a kind of roundabout way, isn't this kind of the plot of Brother Bear? Think about it:
1. A 'spiritual journey' involving bears
2. A cub's mother is killed
3. A snowy, mountainous setting
4. Wise, old Native American/Inuit characters
5. A primary character hunting a bear
6. A search for missing parents as a central plot point
There's probably even others...
You are so right
All this movie needs now is Phil Collins on the soundtrack
At least Brother Bear is a better movie. Not perfect but more heartfelt than this. And it didn't have a scene where the cub tries to lick his mother's face while she was already dead and skinned!
@@shwahgamer sad to see this is where Face ended up after The A-Team and Dani after Hocus Pocus and puberty.
Balto...2...kinda...?
It has 1, 3, 4(?) and 6.
7:02 i literally had the exact same face while watching that scene, that was just absolutely horrifying
Even Charlton Heston is disgusted by that and honestly I can’t blame them
"What am I supposed to do with a compass?"
Me: "Find your way to Chicago."
Nonsense! He has to trust the bear to get to Chicago :P
Dad I’m off to follow a dangerous wild animal across country to an area the animal can’t survive the conditions of
I don’t think that’s a good idea
Spirit journey
Oh ok
This is not over. Bears!
Damn, NC has pipes, that 'clear' part blew me away :o
Made me laugh.
Well, his mother was an opera singer.
I thought the same thing!!
Haha I was just wondering if anyone else was genuinely pretty impressed.
Ah, it's great to see these classic reviews back after about a month or so.
I've literally never heard of this movie though although I love hos reviews regardless.
SomethingCireMovies
Yeah, ho reviews are great.
HIs mother was probably ether attacked by a killer plot-point or she died of Not-Important-Enough-Character-itis
"adapted to the most hostile planet on earth"
no one proofread this did they
+Joshua Rosenthal
he said "climate."
I swear I heard “planet,” too.
There's a Mama polar bear skin, what do you think?
In the vein hope of stopping people from asking again and again and again, I shall clarify; Charleton Heston's character is NOT using a shotgun. That is a double-barreled, breech-loading rifle, which appears to be chambered in .577 Nitro Express, one of the largest big-game calibers out there.
I watched this movie at my granny's place as a kid and I thought it was good at the time. Now it just feels too silly, although I love the way Charlton Heston says the word bear. The Nostalgia Critic's bear joke cracks me up every time.
that scene of the son saying "well I wish you had died and not her" was actually also in a recent film called Southpaw and I thought of this film. Jake Gyllenhaal's daughter gets angry at him and shouts "you should have died, not her". It was weird seeing it in another film. Though to be fair, she had more reason to be angry than this kid.
The biggest issue with this film is that it teaches kids TO TRUST BEARS!!!
You forgot to mention "MAN!"
13:10 - Jesus! That kid nailed himself on the rock pretty damn good, that's not a "shake it off in a few minutes" strike that's a "HOLY COW, MAN! You just cracked your skull and likely gave yourself a serious brain injury! We need to get you to the hospital, NOW! No, no! Resist the temptation to fall asleep!.... Oh, you're okay? Just going to walk it off? Okay."
14:22 - Almost drowns because he has a SERIOUS BRAIN INJURY and likely doesn't have good command of his motor skills or clear awareness of his surroundings!
clear clear clear cleeeeeeaaaaaaarrr
Clear.
Clear.
Clear.
Cleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaarrr
@@colbym.2180 your CLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAR
"Sarah Palin is stupid." It's amazing how timeless that joke has currently become.
Date*
TheDreweMaster Shes not as stupid as Piper Palin
Totally pointless and has nothing to do with reviewing the movie.
It just hit me. They were waving a polar bear corpse (fake or not) in front of a bear cub's face. Ummmm...I think that might have a certain effect on that little cub...maybe I'm wrong
animals can have ptsd too.
just look at elephants for example.
just freaking sick wtf
We can only hope that they had the cub’s mother on hand in between filming. Or would that have helped at all?
If it helps at all, the cub would have been able to tell by the scent that it wasn't another bear. They got it to lick the fake head by putting peanut butter on the nose.
This is not over! BEARS!!!!!
Is no one going to point out that one of the actors is named Gordon Tootoosis?
Tootoosis. Imagine going through school with a name like that.
He was Ketaka in Pocahontas. Rest In Peace.
Doug is a comedic genius. Plain and simple 😂👍🏾
Yeah he is, and he's _consistently_ good! Not all comedians can say that. In fact, most can't.
Super comedic genius! I wish I was too.
He thinks his opinion matters
Agreed.^^
The running joke with “the bear” never gets old
I love how Doug pointed out the facts side by side with the fiction. Bears aren't nice animals until they're ready to hibernate, and even then they're not something to wear your welcome out around.
Yeah. Humans hunting for Fun but some Animals are even worse than the cruelest Hunters. Doug is a Men of Facts.
I used to be a poacher... Until I took a bear to the knee...
To be fair, that'd end just about any career.
Old meme is old
@@viemarirunoa indeed. Posted 7 years ago. Old.
What?
@@nationalinstituteofcheese3012 old meme.
My cinematography teacher in film school was Tony Westman, he shot this film. Apparently he was only supposed to be 1st unit DP but the wildlife DP got attacked by Polar Bears so then he went to shoot all the bear stuff too. He gave a really cool lecture about the whole thing.
Now, just imagine this film as an animated film by the same people who did the iron giant.
2:08, WAS THAT A FUCKING SHOTGUN???? Was Charlton Heston really trying to snipe a polar bear with a SHOTGUN?? How do you even get a scope for one???
I think that wasn't a shotgun, i believe that was a hunting rifle. Sorry for my english
Hunting rifles don't have two barrels though.
+Spenser Sowards Double barrel rifle is a thing.
Will Ferrous Do they really? Huh, I didn't know that.
Spenser Sowards
That's fine. Most don't as they are kinda rare, and only ever used for big game hunting. And even then most just use single barrel rifles with silly huge calibers, like .50, .700 and 20mm cannons. Double barrel has it's advantages but obviously have to chamber a smaller caliber else it'll just hurt the hunter.
Heston: I want that BEAAAR!
Darkheart: Time for a game for disappearing bears!
Christopher Walken: It's not over...
BEEAAARRSS!
Speaking of polar bears, for those who are aware of "We Bare Bears," if Grizzly is a grizzly bear and Panda is a panda bear, then why isn't Ice Bear called Polar?
Probably short, sweet, and to the point, it's one syllable less.
Not quirky enough.
Interestingly enough, Vincent Cartheiser would go on to star on the TV series Angel about five years after this film playing another unlikable character.
Oh shit, that was Connor. He is great at playing asshole kids and teens you want to see die.
I laughed out loud at the Care Bears movie 2 reference!
You though this interpretation of Alaska was bad, wait 'til you see commercials from Canada...
Don't you put it in your mouth
BEAR!
THEYRE NOT AS CUTE AS ON CARTOON NETWORK OH GAWD.
BEARJIRAAAA!!!!
WE CAN'T BAIR BEARS
AND ALASKA
+Tareltonlives
That pictures matches the comment perfectly!
BEAR !!!
Hammond should have just send SG-1... they would found him
Indeed.
"This is the 90's, old man."
It sounds like this movie was...
Un-BEAR-able!
Wow. That comment was BEARY stupid.
Should I be Em-BEAR-essed?
BE BEARY emBEARessed.
+MAZZ0Murder someone have bad bear day
I BEARLY liked this movie
"Sarah Palin is stupid." INSTANT LIKE
Does anyone else think Doug has a pretty damn good voice when he's singing about being Clear? XD
Every Disney move ever is just
Father: Sorry Timmy, we can’t have McDonald’s today-
Timmy: MOM WOULD’VE GIVEN US MCDONALD’S!
That indian guy is the magical native american trope come to life.
It's Face from A-Team.
Interesting enough in the 2006 Disney movie, "Bambi II" Bambi said that line "I wish Mother was here instead of you" to his dad, when he found out he was sending him away to be raised by a surrogate doe, but that was before the final climax of the movie at the far end of the story not the beginning, that was what made him relate-able.
Lol my cinematography teacher in University was the cinematographer of this film. Wish I had shown this in class.
That's actually pretty cool. What university did you go to?
Emily Carr Uni. His name was Tony Westman.
Tyson L He did a fine job. Its the writing team that slacked.
To be fair, the sweeping shots of Alaska are quite beautiful. Seems he did his job well
From what I saw, this film looks pretty damn good. I think I'll use Stephen King's analogy for the Shining for this film "a beautiful car without an engine"
holy shit doug, i was eating!
why the fuck did you have to show a polar bear ripping someone apart?!
Deal with it.
+Tim Buhrs watching that only makes me hungrier
Cuz polar bears eating are like the most appetizing view ever.
+Tyrone Lannister that profile pic fits perfectly with what you said
Time stamp please?
Ya know..
Me already feeling emotions WAY too intensely due to a mental disorder, seeing the cub, not only trying to get close to the mother corpse, but LICKING HER FACE was too much for me.. how the fuck did that scene make the cut!?? That was so cruel I’m actually playing with my dog right now, and not continuing the review because that was so unexpected I actually wanted to tear up. I refuse though cause that will give the movie a some sort of credit, I don’t fucking know..
I just know that that scene should’ve *NEVER* made the final cut.
Jesus fucking Christ that made devastated
I used to say BEAR! a lot.
How many bears did you come across...
a lot... like a ton!
i used to say bear a lot, but then i took an arrow in the knee
+Nikke 2800 I thought I will never hear this one again Q.Q THANK YOU !
6:58 OH MY GOD WHO WROTE THIS THING? How come no one said: "Now listen, people, I know you wann show these people are aholes but this is sick!"
That "clear" joke was hysterical.
As an Australian I loved this movie for years and years and years
The timing for the card glow at 2:43 is pitch perfect!
In the vain hope of stopping people from asking again and again and again, I shall clarify; Charlton Heston's character is NOT using a shotgun. That is a double-barreled, breech-loading rifle, which appears to be chambered in .577 Nitro Express, one of the largest big-game calibers out there.
A few points:
- I agree the kid is way more harsh then he needed to be at the beginning to get the point across, buuuutt at the same time it's not the worst idea to have him mad at his dad and then for the dad to go missing. In more capable hands it could have really worked. But I agree it didn't.
- The mail man reminds me of an eskimo version of Michael Caine from Dark Knight.
- I never noticed this movie had Face from A-Team, Hammond from Stargate SG-1, AND Pete from MacGuyver. Crazy.
- Is he seriously saying Street Fighter wasn't popular? I'm confused. I thought that was the most popular fighting video game ever aside from maybe Mortal Kombat.
- Charleton Heston in this movie is amazing. Badly wriiten. But hilarious.
That was Street Fighter the movie game, which was not popular. Street Fighter was.
+Thatguywhoplaysguitarandsingsonthatcornerdowntown Now that makes sense I suppose.
Guys SHUT UP about the bear puns! It's emBEARassing!
2:43 I liked how the card shined in the light when he began his corny speech. Matched well with the music and his voice.
Hey, Jimmy!
Oh hey!
So, I guess you can't BEAR this movie?
King Harkinian, you’ll need a Triforce of Courage to protect you from this movie!
It was unBEARable to sit through.
1:14 *Sniff* That was beautiful! *Wipes tear from eye*
I love how the music from Dracula plays every time he says BEAR!
Doug did you know that this polar bear attack with the woman happened at zoo because she went too close to pen to take a picture but she was grabbed by the leg.
I wish this movie said Alaska was a Canadian Province. THAT would have made it memorable.
There's being mean,
and there's being the devil.
The poacher was...
a *mean devil!*
16:37 God bless you, Doug. God bless you.
Ugh I hope there was a law suit against Disney over the Polar Bear dead mom and son scene. If this was supposed to be messed up and R rated then ok but not a movie for kids that's like PG at most.
Why Disney? Granted, they are still supporting Tim Allen's career in bad films, but that's nothing to sue over. (In other words, Columbia made the film)
A lawsuit over showing dead animals? Good God man, calm down. You act like they were showing sexual assault or something.
Do you realize what exactly the scene showed?
yeah...that scene was sick!how did the cub feel about this?! did tey ever think of the psychological damage that scene could inflict?!
If a bear, who do you find more threatening?
1.) Charlton Heston
2.) Christopher Walken
3.) Darkheart
fun fact: polar bears are the only animals that will actively hunt and kill humans for fun
Out of curiosity, how is that known? I ask because there’s a lack of arrogant polar bear selfies with human corpses on Facebook. How can we put that kind of motivation to animal behaviour?
There are MANY others, including black bears
@@JimmySteller They don't eat the human, showing that it was done for sport rather than food
@@bashboi4074 or maybe because they are territorial.
@@JimmySteller David Attenborough talked about a film crew that was having difficulty trying to get footage of a polar bear that was popping its head up through various holes in the ice. They realized later that the bear was trying to hunt the film crew
I like you Critic. You are the proof that not all Americans are like television it represents.
well...duhhhhh
Who takes television at face value? Heck not even the news can be taken at face value
Doug actually has the singing talents of some of the better classical singers out there.
That part where he plays with the mother's corpse in front of the baby has scarred me...again.
Oh my God, that cutepolar bear scene near the beginning was freaking HILARIOUS
😂🤣😂🤣
The BEAR *dramatic music w/lightning & thunder*
I loved this movie as a kid. It was one of the movies my sister and I agreed on.
1:25, is it me or when our cuddly-wuddly, fluffy ball of cuteness slides halfway down that slope there's a little blood staining the snow? I really hope the bear hadn't injured itself... :(
Btw, loving the review!
I only remember the preview for this film because I watched my VHS copy of "Jumanji" a lot (Announcer: _On June 7th, Jake Barnes disappeared into the Alaskan wilderness..._ is permanently etched into my fleshy hard drive). Because of that, I think it made me resent it. They way I saw it, the trailer was in the way of the fun time to be had with Robin Williams.
Did anyone notice that he said the most hostile PLANET on EARTH at 2:14.
Climate*
Wtf. The fact that that's an ACTUAL POLAR BEAR SEEING A SKINNED POLAR BEAR is fucking disgusting.
My mom loves polar bears so she got me this movie when I was younger. I loved it
The really unbelievable part is how that plane just crash landed perfectly on the rim of that mountain.
5:05
Is that the mustache pulling sound effect from Peter Pan?
Want a good laugh? Say 9/11 to Siri. It's hilarious
Hi,john here,doug is my fave comedian and I gave him my respect for having a great respect for the past from the 80's to 90's,including everybody's childhood..And,. He's virtually right to all movies,both good and bad. I wonder nostalgia critic can review happily ever after, a 1993 movie
0:59 CLEAR!!!!!!
1:22 never judge a book by its cover. ESPECIALLY WITH POLAR BEARS!!!!!!!
WHAT THE HELL! THE HELL KIND OF MOVIE SHOWS THAT POLAR BEAR PARENT SKINNED AND USED AS A TOY TO TEASE ITS CHILD?!?! THAT'S SOME R RATED STUFF! FAMILY PICTURE MY BUTT
3:45 They couldn't just put Street Fighter II (SNES or Sega Genesis) on?
wait they actually made a game on street fighter the movie
@@pinkiepierocks6360 "OF COURSE!"
5:42 I lost my mother last year myself. And frankly, after what had happened to me, I said the same thing about my dad...but I've been kicking myself in the foot for thinking that. Neither of them needed to die, and even though I loved my mom more, it didn't mean I didn't love my dad either. That entire scene, from someone who's lost a mother, was just in incredibly poor taste. I would say something worse, but I think Doug summed it up best.
Surprised he didn't mention how the rescue pilots said they were low on fuel when asked to circle again, yet somehow managed to fly around long enough to coincidentally come across the family at the top of the mountain.
Despite Jessie being the strong, adventurous, outdoorsy one Shawn gets the polar bear spirit animal thing
Hmm, sounds like that contrived “Chosen one” shit
It could have been worse. It could have been a bunch of magical toys instead of a polar bear.
Critic makes a good point about the boy in this movie as well as characters who behave in such a manner. All I need to hate this movie is the scene with the polar bear pelt. You could write the boy as not a jerk who loves his dad, still has a mother, loves Alaska, and the whole movie is adorable as hell. You could do every possible thing imaginable to make the movie great, nigh on Shakespearian but still include that scene and I would still hate this movie in all its entirety.
Total Side-Note: My favorite kind of bear is the Panda. ^_^
I thought i've seen every NC review! I'm so glad he's posting the classics that i've missed.
1:33 Calm down Critic , they were filming a doc when that happened it's gallons of corn syrup and latex. :D
(Love your videos!)
I liked this movie as a kid, but only because of the polar bear. I love anything with polar bears, even if it's kinda stupid. Anyway, the rest is pretty bland.
I know its stock music that has been used many times before but that music was really weird for the mock golden crisp ad at 12:35
*kids goes into room & spontaneously explodes* We need that more often in movies.
That sound when he sticks up his middle finger!! i laughed my ass of when i saw that the first time xD
Me too!
It's the sound effect when Peter Pan pulled at Captain Hook's mustache from Disney's Peter Pan.
I want that bear: What Nick Cage told the producers of Wicker Man 😂😂
Fun fact, Charlton Heston's son is the director of this movie.
Okay Critic, you've aid some crazy things before, but to say that Street Fighter was never a popular game?
...................................................ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE?!?!?!!!!!!!
+Jarrett Smith it's Street Fighter the game based on Street Fighter the movie...from what I heard it was really bland and was in fact never a popular game
calm down, he was talking about the street fighter movie game(which sucks), not the franchise as a whole, he makes constant references to street fighter, there's no way he could hate it.
+Overlord Mao Of course!
He did not AID that the series was unpopular he AID that specific game.