I Overheard My Husband Say I’m Not Attractive
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- čas přidán 28. 06. 2022
- I Overheard My Husband Say I’m Not Attractive
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Being with no one is better than being with the wrong one.
PRECISELY!!!!!!!!!
Tell your cats lol
@andrewbradley3305 they agree. Men are useless. Just takers. Takers of energy, time, and resources.
Hear hear
@@andrewbradley3305gladly 😂 that's not even an insult!
NEVER speak poorly about your spouse to anyone. First rule of a marriage.
My mom did all time they stay married for life, My grandmother said the reason she married a short man is so she could beat his ass if had to, they stayed married for life. I see a double standards here I hear women trash their husband all the time.
@@captainsisko7629 both are wrong 100%
@@noblegirl1991 🤦♀️
@@noblegirl1991 you go to therapy. What good will it do when you only trash your spouse without dealing with the issue. I praise my husband in public. I don’t need to put him down. We all have flaws. Those flaws will stay between us.
@@captainsisko7629 Both are wrong. It's a way manipulative people keep others from knowing their worth. The unattractive partner is supposed to shut it down.
That wasn’t a “mistake” that she forgot something @ the house. That was God showing her who her husband really was✨
What about when this doesn’t happen, does God just not pay attention
@@Juicersen so, being an internet tr0ll, don't you have a bridge somewhere to cr@wl back under?
It wasn't god, but it wasn't a mistake either. What could she have forgotten for a walk? Her shoes? Her feet? She was spying. It's a damn good thing she was, but still, there is nothing to forget on a walk.
@@gregjones9901 lol.. May be😁
So why did god let her marry this prick in the first place?
"Can he really love me if I'm not attractive?" That just broke my heart. Poor woman.
She says it like it's objectively true that she either is or isn't attractive. Because society treats it like that. But this is about him finding her attractive. She isn't unattractive to every single person in the world, I promise.
HOPEFULLY, she'll meet someone who finds her jaw dropping gorgeous and attractive that will treat her like a QUEEN. So the now husband can find himself in a shithole :-)
Yes my heart broke when I heard that.
It broke my heart too
Someone can. Maybe not him.
I literally cried for this woman after hearing only the first sentence… “I overheard my husband and his friends making fun of me.”
That is so cruel. She deserves better.
Girl I was trying to hold it back but as it kept going I had to let it out. How do you keep waking up to himmmm. That hurts so much.
This is terrible, can't imagine overhearing my girlfriend or wife talking about me like that. I feel so bad for this woman.
I'm new here..do we ever get updates?
Geez. Newly married as well. Should have walked in on this conversation before the wedding as it’s clear the husband has been discussing his ‘issues’ with her for awhile beforehand
She will never be the same again, with him or in any other relationship. She will always have that doubt now. 😢
She's very timid. You can hear it in her voice and by her blaming herself for walking in and overhearing him. I commend her for calling. It took bravery to reach out.
She is super eloquent absolutely adore it 😍
Or: She lied and was eavesdropping. Notice she went back for "Something." And then proceeded to listen to minutes more of conversation
@@user-uk8ln9yz2lwomen can do no wrong on this channel. She was already in the wrong by being overweight and expecting to have a husband who lies to her. But as John does, he coddles
@@ceelothatmane9421what is wrong with you. Go listen to fresh and fit and keep on disappointing your mother and wife.
@@tako2212 being obese is not okay. 🤷🏽♂️
The fact that her husband didn’t defend her says everything about him
Defend her? That girl asked him if it was STILL a problem. He was talking smack before. Ugh, so sad.
He was in on the conversation. He’s been talking about her to his friends like this all the time. They were just having a conversation that they were used to having. It’s All on Him, not his friends. They can only say what he allows them to say about his wife. It’s his character and awful treatment of his new bride. This is horrible!
What do you call "but she makes me happy" and "she is beautiful on the inside"? Was that him attacking her character?
The fact that you only hear what you want to hear and not what was actually said.
Pls don't vote
@@ttoclawtv you want women's standards in h*ll.
Why would the husband defend her if the husband is against her
The fact his “friends” have been empowered by him to speak so freely about her looks says so much about his lack of character. She should leave and never look back.
You didn’t make a mistake… you were 10000% meant to turn back and hear that disrespect first hand.
RIGHT!! First thing I said when I heard that
I'm sure he has said something to indicate she is not his choice. She ignored it.
Exactly. She still has a way out early on. She can find someone who truly appreciates and loves her.
Sounds like the guy moves from one relationship to another insanely quickly and was settling? Hands down, god knew she was supposed to hear that!
It was a GIFT. Eye opening.
Girl you have no kids walk away immediately. It only gets worse!
Why does it always have to be the woman leaving. He needs to walk away if he’s uncomfortable otherwise he should deal with her being ugly. He chose her despite her ugliness right. So then he should deal with it. I’d have a conversation with him and report this to someone he hold in high regard
So he can feel embarrassed. He needs to be accountable to someone. That’s the only way I’ll have my peace. He needs to have boundaries with his friends and get rid of his female friends smh. The nerve for them to ask such questions.
Being ok with being alone is the most important leverage to a healthy relationship if any and just a healthy life in general.
@@erejo3274 You must really hate yourself to want to stay with someone like him. Settling for not even the bare minimum.
Why not just realize that the husband sees his wife as ugly but sees her overall as being amazing and great? Not everyone is gonna win in the looks department, but are great everywhere else and the fact that he married her despite her looking like an ogre is because he loves her ...ugly spouses are the best spouses anyway because they work harder and you dont have to worry about anyone stealing them away. "Hot" wives are narcissistic and will leave you when something better comes along, they are not wife material. Just my two cents
@@sew_gal7340 what she looks like isn’t the point. The point is he shouldn’t be talking about his wife like that or sitting listening to others speak of her like that. Someone doesn’t have to be like a model for the person who loves them to see them as beautiful. To find it acceptable for his ‘friend’ to ask about their honeymoon and her attractiveness is disloyal and cruelIt isn’t possible to have a happy marriage and talk about your partner in a derogatory and personal way like that. A happy marriage is based on love, respect and trust. What happens when we get old? Does love end? No, because real love has little to do with looks apart from the initial attraction.
She sounds like a beautiful person to me and she deserves so much better than a jerk who would let these bitches talk about his wife like that. She needs an upgrade. Give him back his worthless ring. You can do better ❤
He’s gonna try to gaslight her.
that is almost guaranteed What a terrible man!
I don’t think I could’ve overheard my husband speak about me like that & waited even 5 seconds before confronting him.
“hello, wife standing here right behind you!”
(I did that at a job once, & my boss made me apologize to the people that were talking about me behind my back 🤬)
Seriously? He made YOU apologize? Did you? How did that pan out?@@anitapricecheck9554
Same here. I would’ve busted that whole conversation wide open and they would ALL know I knew.
Completely agree
I'm with you guys! This jerk would hear everything in two seconds
Her husband and these so called friends are used to talking about her behind her back while smiling in her face. How sickening.
This. 😢
HA, I know this feeling real well - happened to me. I was sick to my stomach. Yikes!
Yeah, this is not the first time. Husband and friends are toxic people. Sad situation for her. Maybe she can get an annulment?
That's what I was thinking. Very shallow disloyal friends. Cowardly husband.
I've been there and it hurts so bad
The worst part about this is she was LEAVING THE HOUSE TO GET SOME EXERCISE and he let his friends body shame her.
Walking isn't exercise
@@G.Bfit.93 It is for an overweight person. I do believe the experts call it "cardio".
@@G.Bfit.93Bruh, you high. Walking is an exercise.
Very good point! To say this while she's trying her best is just 💔
@@G.Bfit.93walk everywhere you gotta go and see what happens to ya legs and calf’s in a year then.
The high of being a newlywed coming back from your honey moon to the low of overhearing this
For real this sucks so much
This is how evil character arch stories revenge stories begin 😢
💔💔💔
I know exactly how she feels.. My ex told my best friends husband that he was only staying with me until he found someone better, I had been with him for 8 years and we had 2 children..I was so good to him, always doting on him, making sure he had the best birthdays and Christmas, always cooking him home cooked meals, Im a very good cook btw, getting up with him at 4:00 in the morning making him hot lunches for his thermos before work, and for him to say that, broke me..I was so fortunate that God had my back because I was so in love with him..One night I was sitting in the bathroom crying uncontrollably, begging God to take my feelings for him away and at that very moment God relieved me of that pain, I was no longer in love with him, infact he repulsed me..God had delivered me from that horrible heartbreak!! I never thought of him again and I moved on.. It was the best day of my life! Thank you again Jesus for all you do for me ❤
❤❤❤
Yes!! Amen! 🙏🏻
All I can I say good luck to him finding a women like you in this day age is impossible no one waking up to cook no man meal in morning 😂😂
@@naisin5607 😂 he actually did find someone else, but continued to call and tell me how much he loved and missed me..But those feelings were long gone because God delivered me from the love I felt for him.. yes it was his loss, thank you 😇🥰
@@naisin5607 I do
Im a chubbier girl and my bf is extremely fit. I told him i wanted to work on loosing weight and bf hoped up giving me great workouts and advice. We sat down and he made a journal with me. He was about to give it to me but stoped saying. "Before i give this to you, i want you to know that right now i love you just the way you are. I love you and your body. Dont do any of this for me, do it for you." Yeah he is definitely the one for me, find someone that loves you for you.
My husband always says that he loves me, all of me. But if I am not happy with the way I look, I am the only one who can do anything about it. And that I should do it for myself and not for him.
Man I love that. My wife put a bit of weight on whilst being locked down through covid and being prescribed some medication that fucked up her hormones. She almost hates who she sees in the mirror and she tells me the only thing that keeps her going sometimes is knowing how deeply I love her way beyond anything to do with our flesh suit. She feels this way because it's true. She's my wife! My person. I'm pretty sure what she is going through is temporary and she is determined enough to become the woman she wants to be but nothing will change for me. Everything is just a stage and who she is is why I chose to spend my life with her. Emma's husband is an idiot. I hope she's ok.
Wow! I love your comment!
That's so sweet it almost hurts haha I have a man like that now too.
You are extremely attractive though
What kind of "friends" would think it's okay to make fun of their friend's wife???? Sickening.
Who, over the age of 15, tells somebody "You can do better, s/he's not attractive enough to be one of us?"
His "friend" who he used to sleep with or his current girlfriend.
Colorists? Racists?
Your right! It’s gross.
@@YahsLoveisEnough - He’s DEFinitely colorist.
The brokenness in her voice breaks my heart. He hurt her to her core and she is so wounded. Words like that are soul-crushing.
If a guy does not think that I am the best as far as he is concerned - I am OUT. I refuse to knowingly be someone's option. I am NOT scared of being alone.
Absolutely agree. I feel like I have so much love to give, and I'd love to grow old with someone. After a few humiliating relationships...I protect my peace in solitude.
Have you ever noticed that a lot of these men who criticize a woman's looks are not so handsome or hot themselves?
Yeah he’s probably a fuggin slob with a beer belly and no hair. Even if he’s prime time, it’s still unacceptable behavior.
Maybe, but men are judged on different criteria
@@jzwalz51robin45 literally it’s not fair
@@yorhaunit21o32 AND????
@@jzwalz51robin45 no we like a nice looking man as well but who cares what the woman wants…….at least how society sees us
Your husband is meant to be your protector, not a source of harm. This is tragic and she doesn’t deserve it
💯
Exactly! Im out that’s it
Best thing I have ever read!!!
Early on in my marriage, my Dad gave me the best marriage advice I've probably ever received directly. My husband and I had some arguments, and we both needed some guidance, so we talked to my Dad. My dad is probably the most neutral person to talk to about interpersonal conflict in both my and my husband's life. And he told us this during our conversation " Every time you speak to each other, remember, some words can never be taken back. And some things said can be forgiven but not forgotten. " The idea of saying something that hurts someone you love that they won't forget about brings a whole new perspective to the longevity of our words.
There are only 3 things you cannot take back: time, death and words
This is wisdom. Name calling. You can never take that back.
I don’t think there’s any way back from this. She’ll never feel like she’s enough and that’s his fault. He’s not a good guy and this is actually a blessing that she was shown his true colors and can find someone who will love her for who she is.
There truly isn’t. It’s a total lack of attraction which means he truly doesn’t love her, and value her. Plus the massive disrespect on top of it by going about it behind her back. This sham of a marriage isn’t even slightly salvageable.
I don’t feel like you have to have attraction to make a marriage work. I married for “attraction” and it hasn’t worked out. In order to keep from fighting, we just keep to ourselves for the sake of the kids.
He wasn’t who he purported himself to be. I would gladly marry for character if God gave me a chance to marry again. I don’t need attraction. I would rather have respect. Love is nice to have as well but attraction has nothing to do with love.
@@meganr9280 everyone is different, but for most people, I think hearing your husband, or wife talk about your appearance to other people in a negative way would kill a large part of one’s self esteem. I think it would make almost everyone feel disregarded. I know for myself I would have filed for divorce within days if my finances would allow me to. If I couldn’t afford to go my own way I’d save up and leave as soon as I could.
Yes it is truly a blessing. She went back in at the correct moment. God moment.
To talk negative about your spouse is like treason.
Best Comment award! 🏆
Truer words never spoken!👏👍
I know people who do this and I don't want them as my friends. Yikes!
What crappy, shallow "friends" of his to bring that up! Especially discussing it with him in her home right after their wedding/honeymoon. Disgusting!
Women literally do it allll the time and y’all don’t blink an eye. Relax simp.
There's no fixing this. You can't unring a bell. She is never going to believe he is attracted to her. What an awful thing to happen to her.
Exactly
So true. The trust has been broken because of deceit and public shaming
EXACTLY!!
I would always wonder whenever they all got together, if they were still talking about me. That trust has been destroyed.
Such people as him will never be happy, looks or not looks, the reason being that he is low-quality himself. Drop him and forget .
He is embarrassed about being married to her -> how heartbreaking. She should leave and move on.
That’d be the last day we were friends if any of my friends talked ANYTHING negative about my wife
That's beautiful, and I wish that everyone was that way.
Exactly
She didn't hear that convo by accident. She was delivered and given a glimpse into the real person she married. And why are they so comfortable gossiping about her? Poor girl
100%. That was a blessing from God
Yep. I hope she ended up leaving. Because it is better to be single and happy. Then be someone else’s second choice. Because that is what she is, had her husband been able to make his relationship work with the kind of woman that he has attracted to he would’ve never looked twice at her.
Exactly
Word
The real person she married values her personality and character above her looks. Ya dunce.
My last relationship taught me something I’ve heard too often, but never understood until now. “Go to where you are wanted and valued… NOT TOLERATED.”
Ah yes - "Go where you are celebrated, not where you are tolerated"
TRUTH
but what if the best i can get is "toleration"? 🙁
@@jacksquadreturns7827 That's tricky. You may have to settle for it, if you really don't mind, like many people have.
@@pyrophoresist1497 Thanks for being honest. I sort of do mind because ive seen how bad it gets when one cant tolerate the other any more... For example it takes little for my mother to get pissed at my father because she thinks he's a loser. Or how my uncle bullies my aunt calling her lazy whenever she makes a small mistake.
I dont ever want to reach a point like that.😕
“Are her looks STILL a problem for him.”
STILL means this husband brought this up before.
Stop blaming the friends. The friends are not mocking the wife. The friends are following up on what HE SAID.
This is on him and him alone.
Any good Friend is going to follow up on the things we say about our partner.
It’s up to the partner to watch what they tell their friends.
WRONG!!!🙄😒🥴😐
Not even close. These are bad friends.
She need to run now before kids are involved and causing this to drag on and be a million times more difficult
Imagine they have a daughter who looks like her, how will she feel if her father says something like this? Im sick to my stomach
You can hear deep, irreversible pain in her voice.
Girl, run. Nothing is worth feeling that way.
I can imagine that she feels as though she’ll never get married again or even find someone that finds her attractive.
Agreed
I feel so sorry for her🥺 so terrible
He doesn't love her. Not one time did he tell his friend(s) how he felt abt her at the time. As a matter of fact from what she said the friend asked him if her looks were "still" a problem for him. That leads me to think of a few things: he is ashamed of her since his friends do not like her, he is an insecure man in which can turn out to be a dangerous man (controlling that could turn into physical abuse) or he is benefitting from her financially. It sounds like she has already made up her mind bc it's been 5 weeks and she said she should accept it and move on. My question is how come she married someone whom she is afraid of talking to without having fears, in which they are in her voice, of losing him? Tbh she is not going to tell him anything. He knows she is vulnerable and passive. I will pray for her. 🙏🏽
You can't just run from marriage. Those vows are serious and they mean something.
His female coworkers asked him "are her looks still a problem?" Key word being "STILL". This woman needs to find someone else as her husband has CLEARLY never found her attractive and has obviously voiced this TO his female coworkers.
I caught that, too. He has clearly spoken about her looks beeing a problem to another woman before. That would break me. I feel so sorry for her.
I heard that too. I was like STILL?! Meaning that they JUST GOT MARRIED AND HE WASNT FEELING IT BEFORE? it’s one thing if there was a sudden change like people who kinda let themselves go during COVID. Sure. Okay still terrible but sorta understandable as people didn’t realize how they would react to being quarantined but this?? Nnooooooooo maaaaaaaammmm
Yes! I’m pretty sure there’s more to the situation, like why would you marry someone whose looks you had a “problem” with since before the marriage? Also she mention her skin color and that’s just too much, she needs to divorce this dude.
Most men marry whoever they feel will give them the most in a marriage, and then continue to cheat with those they consider attractive but they know would never give much of themselves in the marriage.
@@Die_GrimmI thought this was bad when I thought it was him taking to his male friends.
Somehow it’s so much worse that he’s saying these things to women.
And also , shame on all of those terrible people talking about her, and somehow I feel double shame on those women
My husband is an amateur body builder and I was chubby af when we met. He loved me no matter what. After a few years of unconditional support, he inspired me to lose 70 pounds and get healthy. Your husband doesn’t deserve you. He is shallow and emotionally immature.
Women are a million times more shallow than the average man how is it ok when you guys do it
Just after the honeymoon?? Serve that divorce paper , your self respect is worth so much more than that man.
You walked in on a weak man revealing himself. Sis, you deserve a strong husband who knows your value.
👏👏👏
It's time for her to leave him.
He would feel bad if she told him?
He should.
Not a reason to stay.
Him and his friends are not good people.
Amen
So well put!!!
Exactly
The fact that his friends had the audacity to talk about his wife in such a manner shows that this was not the first time he spoke ill about his wife to others . They know he doesn’t respect her and hence feel comfortable disrespecting her
This video actually made me cry my heart felt so sad for her. I can't help wonder if she already knew this by the way she answered she's considering staying to ask a question do you think that he would still love me even though I'm not attractive it just tells me a lot I feel that this was an issue before I feel that she may have had a history of being told she wasn't attractive which lowered herself esteem and the first man that showed her anything different was the one she married. I do believe that there is some financial gain in this for him because that wasn't brought up but I do believe it. The part I'm having trouble with now is God forbid if they have children is he really going to want anybody hurt if you feel she's that unattractive and I believe he does feel she is that unattractive she just didn't want to make himself she like more than a jerk that he already is. There would be no ultimatum about who his friends are and what they are in his life. The hard conversation would be how we can immolately divide our assets and move on I would divorce him immediately. I truly believe this will happen again the women in men that he were talking to you clearly feels she's not attractive because more than one mentioned it and he stood by it you can tell that her looks were the topic of conversation before get rid of him and you get rid of all his friends. Pray on it as God to help you while you're healing move on and when the time is right the wrong place someone in your life that he's chosen especially for you
I'm sorry there was some misspelling in there but you guys get the gist of what I'm saying I talk text and I have an accent lol
These are not his friends
IMHO, she may want to consider preparing quietly for an exit. Speak with a lawyer. What her husband did is abusive. No one should put up with abuse. It is only going to escalate from there. It would help if she consulted with a therapist to get through this period, and perhaps as she settles in her new life.
First, he's had these conversations with them before the marriage. He don't love her. She better leave. I don't see this as a win situations.
I hope she was able to get the marriage annulled. Physical attraction is very important in a relationship. The husband sounds like he settled. He was talking trash behind her back. This was totally unacceptable and disrespectful. She should cut her losses while she can and have the marriage annulled.
What absolutely vile people. This caller deserves better than the entire lot of these hateful, disgraceful people.
Just her thinking she made a mistake by overhearing this accidentally, tells me she has low self-esteem. Her husband is in the wrong here. He should have protected her and put his “friends” in their place.
Right 😔 she’s so apologetic over something she has every right to do - walk back inside her own home.
Exactly because I would have WENT OFF. You deserve to exist in a room HONEY
He’s not in the wrong. He loves her for her inside, is that not what women say they want?
@@dekev7503 he in the wrong because why would he let his friends troll his wife like that? Super disrespectful. And yes, thats part of it but women also want to be desired and attractive to their man. Thats common sense.
@@dekev7503 Why didn't he say that to his wife's face? Why is he degrading his wife behind her back, and infront of his friends? Why are his frinds allowed to comment on his wife like this? Why didn't he stand up for his wife?
Don't men tell women not degrade their husbands to their friends? Especially male friends?
If I overheard my husband say he wasn't attracted to me, he'd overhear me talking to divorce lawyer.
😂
Right?!? MULTIPLE conversations at that… i’d grab that thing I left at the house, walk out and never speak to him directly again.
😂🤣😂😩😩😩😩😂😂😂
Grand opening/grand closing! 💅🏾🤣
Same !
This poor woman deserves so much better. Heartbreaking.
That female friend of his has to go. She's the one saying, "Are her looks still a problem" and "Do you feel like you downgraded". She's purposely being catty. The husband should have corrected her, but at the same time, the company you keep says a lot about the person you are. We choose our friends. He chose friends that disrespected his wife. I'm bothered that these are his friends. If your friends have low character, there's a good chance you do too.
The whole man needs to go. Forget the female - she is just excess baggage
That just sounds like they have slept together or tension is building to
My ex actually told me after having two kids in two years “you can’t tell me every woman who’s had a kid looks like that?” I was 5’ 4” and weighed 135 after having the 2 kids. I had been 120 before. When he finally left me when the kids were one and three, he said it was to teach me a lesson that “you will find out I’m the best thing that ever happened to you.” Um….nope….I thank God every day that he wanted to teach me a lesson. When he tried to come back, I told him no.
What an a…hole. Wtf is wrong with people???? You will find your mate.
👏👏❤
They think they are Brad Pitt or what??? Seriously?
sounds like a narc 🙄
What a horribly shallow man! One day he may be bald with more hair growing out his ears than anywhere else, and not be able to get it up anymore - it will be a come to jesus moment for him to realize how terribly he acted to you after bearing his children. I'm glad you told him no, honestly:)
The issue here is not if she's pretty or ugly. The issue is that the husband feels too comfortable disrespecting his wife to others behind her back. If it's not her ugliness that's the topic of conversation, it will be her attractiveness. Any person that shares TMI about their personal life is not to be trusted.
And this is a discussion he seems to have had with them before.
so weird too. We all are shallow to some extent but love makes you see flaws as beautiful, in my opinion. I would never disrespect the man I love and his looks because he may not look like my past. I certainly wouldn't discuss my spouses looks or body to my friends.
The issue is he hasn’t been honest with his wife, not that he’s overshared with his friends. Everyone needs an outlet but your spouse should come first.
Literally what women do. They share the most intimate details with their friends. Just like you, I genuinely believe most women lack self awareness and only understand things are wrong when it's happening to them
@@camelio10 I've never met a woman or been apart of a group of women whom called their spouses unattractive, most especially with other men present.
Stop acting like men don't talk in their in group they 100% do. This video was a clear example.
We have a saying in our culture. Spouses are eachothers clothes. Meaning you cover, protect, and make your spouses looks good for each other and in front of other people. Like a good clothes you wear for your body.
What culture is this? Can you write the saying in your language? It’s perfect!
@@duvessa2003" هُنَّ لِبَاسٌۭ لَّكُمْ وَأَنتُمْ لِبَاسٌۭ لَّهُنَّ ۗ"
Your spouses are a garment1 for you as you are for them (Garment” (libâs) is a metaphor for comfort, chastity, and protection)
It's from Quran surah 2 ayah 187.
@@ruuoxithat's wonderful
I hope she finds the courage to leave him
*This is an oops that cannot be fixed*
Once a woman knows her man isn’t attracted to her- the fun of a relationship is over.
Why even be in a relationship with someone your not attracted too, thats half the point
Boom 💥
@@one3DoiNWoRk I have to agree. I think sometimes people actually underestimate the importance of at least some physical attraction.
This is so accurate
YUP. He's probably using her to take care of him. He sounds like a POS.
As a woman, I don’t think I can ever recover from overhearing something like that. I’m in tears just listening to her speak about this. 😢
Same. It's equivalent to someone cheating.
how ? woman call their partner medium ugly all the time
@@nohome12 men's look are not that important to women. It's not the same at all.
@@Daniela-pr7rzit is! No one likes to be called ugly.
@@antnam4406 no it isn't, looks do not give men value in the eyes of women. Strength of character does.
Low self esteem plays a big role here
Perhaps, but he made them lower with the conversation.
I agree but at the same time if the person I married said I wasn’t attractive behind my back, idk I think I would lose some of my self confidence as well.
I don't think I've ever heard a husband or a wife say that about their spouse. It's May, 2024 and I'm feeling totally sick inside for this lovely lady. No one, not family, friends, acquaintances, workmates should ever, ever come tween a man and his wife. EVER!!! One day, this will all come back on him for being less than a man and not standing up for his precious one 💙😪
Guys, I once dated a girl who was not up to "Instagram" standards. But in my eyes she was attractive and she had a GREAT sense of humor. A few times I would be seen with her by people I know. I t never failed "bro what are you doing?" Or "eldred, you can do way better" AND EVERY SINGLE TIME I IMMEDIATELY STOOD UP FOR HER. And she wasn't even my wife. If someone asks me if I'm attracted to my wife, as in insinuating she ain't pretty, they're cut from life immediately.
Yeah those people are fucked up for that. They aren’t real friends.
That's a teammate and partner. Good on you mate
Admirable, love people like this. People have to be held accountable for being morons 🍀👍
Applause for you, my mate.
Good man!!!!
She is NOT the fault. The colorism in the black community IS racism. On top of that, he allowed his friends to disrespect you?! That's more dangerous. His job is to protect you, protect his home.
You are right! He is colorist and racist. I’m so tired of people trying to ignore how common this is. It’s disgusting and women have to deal with this trash a lot.
People should marry within their own race
Andrew, they are not an interracial couple. They are black. He is a colorist and should be ashamed of himself.
People should marry who loves them and who they love. There are many interracial couples that have real love… the thing that is wrong is racism, in any form
@@GodWinsInTheEnd it's not about you lady. and where did they say you ware not allowed to be attracted to whomever you're attracted to? where did they say there is something wrong with that?
you have no idea what you're talking about, and instead of listening, you're gaslighting and insulting the intelligence of poeple who are part of these communities and have been victims of colorism
it's not about you and who you are attracted to, comparing hair and eye color with skin color, smh, of course those things have the same history of discimination smh
freaking unbelievable!!
I wish there were updates to these shows sometimes where we can learn about what happened after.
You can tell this caller is really sweet. It’s too bad about who she married
The most messed up part is that this cruel conversation seems to have previous context.
Since the "friends" brought up the husband's dissatisfaction with her looks, it's clear he's mentioned such before.
It's terrible that he doesn't find her attractive, but I think it's even worse that he openly dishonors his wife and allows others to do the same, as if she's some running a gag or something.
Not cool.
It’s the worse part. My heart is breaking for her
The troubling thing is a group of peers old enough to legally marry and still seem to have an attitude of "Bro, she's not pretty enough or cool enough to hang with us." Shouldn't they have outgrown this sometime in high school? It shouldn't be *just* the husband defending her - if *anyone* said this, wouldn't any other mature person call him/her out? They're *all* so shallow this kind of thing is okay?
@@oldgeezer2780 100% they're acting like high school mean girls.
@@oldgeezer2780 great point, was thinking same; proves the level of immaturity there.
@@fotismichael1877 nah she just got fat and still expects the guy to pretend to get hot about the idea of throwing some flour on her and hunting for the wet spot
I would be divorced faster than Kim Kardashian if I ever heard my husband say that about me to his friends. Girl, go where you are loved.
👍👍👍👍👍👍
If you spend majority of your life going through disappointment,, and loneliness,,, sich man become "better than nothing"
He said she makes him happy.
Wow this is a sign of his character I would leave. Or have a conversation with him and a marriage counselor.
That doesn't mean you leave.
she sounds so hurt, and who wouldnt be ! my heart goes to this beautiful woman and her heart
He’s literally like a friend to everyone he talks to. His kindness just makes me want to cry ❤
Oh hell no , any man who doesnt shut that down immediately is not a good person . How revolting.
Hubby may not be a ‘bad ‘ person and in fact this is not necessarily “how he truly feels” but he is a weak person & lacks character! He was I think a bit embarrassed by his friends questions who should never presume to ask such things!! But neither did he really stand up against them !!
She can & does need to ask him for some clarification about genuine feelings and your relationship & ask for some decency and loyalty with regard to so called ‘friends’ … and how he and you move forward ! This is not ‘ dating ‘ but working at a marriage so make the effort to at least have the discussion and see what he has to say face to face!! A lot of good may come from sorting these things out!! Remember no one here is Angelina Jolie or Brad Pitt . He needs to redeem himself as your safe place! And you set some clear ground rules about privacy loyalty and to whom you talk about each other & your relationship. And over time these non- friends will be edged & fade out as leftovers of former times while your happy married life takes over!!
As an older teen , My brother realized he got lots of attention by telling wild stories about me, his little sister. I had long blonde hair and was shy, and it didn’t take long for stories to be spread and exaggerated. my reputation was destroyed because everyone enjoyed the bonding and the camaraderie gossip provides.
Objectively, things like this can have other dynamics at play that are NOT PERSONAL, and we should Not feel bad about( although anyone would) THOSE WHO DON’T RESPECT YOU ENOUGH TO VALUE YOUR GOOD QUALITIES CAN RUIN YOUR LIFE. A partner who doesn’t defend you doesn’t deserve you. She needs to DUMP this two- faced man ( he won’t change) and be with someone who appreciates and cherishes her for everything she is.
Cowardly.
@@icu3869well said🌟
That guy just doesn’t know how to control his rude friends and teach them some manners
When she asked “but can he really love me even if I’m not attractive”?
My heart broke 💔💔💔
Girl, DO NOT TOLERATE someone saying you are not beautiful. Are you kidding me!! Start your exit plan. You are beautiful inside and out. Start saving some money, get a therapist and run!!! You’re husband SHOULD think you are beautiful… he is not worth it.
🥺 mine too!
@@dmiller2055 Gosh I hope she read All these comments and RAN!!!
@@brianikole just sad 💔
So did his :(
This is why having good self-esteem is critical. Someone’s dislike for you being you isn’t YOUR problem, it’s THEIRS.
The humiliation she must have felt. Poor girl.
After I had my second child, my husband caught me looking very upset about my weight in the mirror. He began to cry and told me to never look at myself like that again. He told me I was beautiful no matter what. She deserves the same! I hate that her husband has destroyed her self esteem…
Her self-esteem was in tatters long before this goon of a husband entered the picture.
Why I’m I crying with this message, that’s sooo beautiful 🥹🥹
That’s beautiful. Mine told me I was no longer attractive. To be fair I gained too much weight. So I lost it all and got in the best shape of my life. Then I left him. (Not just because of that but because of so many issues).
@@vsand9798 I’m so sorry he said that to you. I hope you’re thriving and doing amazing now ❤️
Thats so sweet
I would never want to be intimate with my husband ever again if he did this
On what basis can any self respecting woman hear this with her own ears and decide to sleep with the offender afterwards?
@@fisf.2148 well said
Honestly, I don't feel bad for her one bit. This is what I would do if i were her. She said she may be a bit chubby. Make the decision today that I'm going to get fit. I'm going to make a permanent change in my life. I'm going to talk to my doctor to get on a nutrition plan. I'm going to get on a fitness plan and stick to it. I'm going to show myself and the world what I'm made of. Whatever it takes. I'm not going to feel pitty for myself and be a victim. I'm going to put in the work on myself. There is an amazing opportunity here. Turn a negitive into a positive. She does that and in 18 months she's going to look in the mirror and won't be able to believe what she's done for herself. I wonder how she will feel then?
Imagine I called into this show and i said Dr. John, I walked in on my wife talking online with her friends and my wife said she finds me unattractive and her friends were making fun of me for being shorter than her ex and and I'm hurt and I don't know what to do. Then I tell Dr. John I'm overweight and I'm making minimum wage at my job. Dr. John what they said about me I don't think I'll ever be able to get over. I've been so sad for the last few weeks. What should be the proper advise given to me? Do you think that Dr. John is going to be like. Oh man Jeffrey, this is sooo tough for you. You have every right to not feel safe in your own home now. You poor poor baby.
@@jeffreyo5331 Yeah but you're not a woman. If you had woman's hormones you'd develope a complex and eating disorder. No joke.
The proper way is to develop health in all three aspects of life. Spiritual, physical and mental.
Mental health will encourage yourself. That your beautiful regardless size. That your thankful of all yourself flaws and all.
Physical health encourages good hormones and good physical health.
Spiritual health gives somewhere to go when nobody is around to understand. Among giving a snese of peace.
It takes all theee to be healthy.
Most people who only focus on physical health miss out on a healthy mentality. Sort of like those people who keep getting Botox etc.
Imma bet you she’s pretty as heck. Usually how it goes sadly. Poor girl doesn’t deserve that
Why in the world did he get married to her if he finds her unattractive only to tear her down that too with strangers? This is during their honeymoon!!! My heart breaks for this woman. I hope she leaves him. He doesn't deserve her.
Many men will settle for women who have more resources. Some have gotten older and notice they can no longer pull the type of women they want or simply want to settle down for status reasons. They will find a woman that would make a good wife, but not someone they are attracted to. Usually they will cheat to get their needs met. In their mind they believe they are doing the unattractive woman a favor by "choosing" her without committing. It's insanely insidious. Notice how during the call he says that she makes him happy. He likes what she can do and provide for him, but he does not love or admire her. It's very very very common for women who are not conventionally attractive.
As a married man, this was gut wrenching to hear. There is no possible universe where I would demean or disrespect my wife like that, and ESPECIALLY not to an EX! My heart breaks for her!
It wasn’t to an ex tho
I could not imagine my husband saying that about me. So heartbreaking.
Maybe she is not attractive. Doesn't mean it doesn't like her, he is simply being objective.
@@NyakzOTSD Well that should be discussed with the wife, not behind her back.
I feel like there is so much pressure on women to look beautiful, and many are self conscious as it is. To hear or find out, that your husband thinks you are ugly, would be crushing. Speaking from personal experience, there are things that still make me self conscious, because some a-hole guy made fun of me as a teenager. If you want to make the woman in your life feel good and secure, make her feel pretty and wanted.
PLEASE do an update call with this lady. This is NOT OK. I want to hear what happened with her and what she decided to do after hearing all of this….
Yes, I was just thinking the same thing.
Yes please, we need to know. This shattered my heart
There's a big chance she wasn't able to leave especially because he makes her feel inferior. Sad.
Same thought here.
It’s not okay for her to be so fat she’s breathing heavy on a phone call either🤣🎯
This Dr is so so so freaking compassionate to his callers like his hearts all in . What a special therapist and man.
I LOVE the part where he told her to write her reality down as she can easily gaslight herself
this happens WAAY too often
This marriage isn't going to last. If she stays it will destroy her self esteem
Agreed. BUT we all need to own our self esteem.
She should leave...running!
I bet this is not the first red flag....she may just have disregarded others
@@JLJ8039 agreed
Her self esteem is already shot and I’m not trying to be funny!
I don't believe in divorce so I hope they work it out. I don't think that a person has to look like a model. Her husband must've married her for other reasons besides beauty. They can work this out, but they'll need really strong communication, and they'll have to work on building trust.
The worst is the lack of loyalty. He’s having conversations with friends (some of the women) more intimate than his relationship with his wife. He’s placed them above her.
This! She isn't the most important person in his life. Emma... leave his ass.
This is because he truly doesn’t love his wife, but she is useful to him in some way shape or form because he married her. His wife is more like a utility.
Absolutely. I would never go back to this man just for the disloyalty. Never, ever talk down to your spouse with and around other people.
1000%... A real lack of appropriate boundaries
@@rcmurphy5986just like every woman marries a man. For example When woman makes money they want to be independent
Omg…I love how John talked to this beautiful woman who overheard her idiot husband that betrayed his wife with STRANGERS!!! 💙
Dr. John said exactly what I was thinking…the husband is supposed to be her protector & not embarrass her
Once a woman feels ugly in the eyes of the man she loves, it's done. She'll never get over it deep down. It's the same for a man if the woman he loves makes him feel unneeded. Feelings will forever change.
its true
If I had to guess its probably the same feeling a guy would get if his wife made a disparaging comment about his performance in bed or size or something like that. Something that just slowly eats at you in the back of your mind. This dude is a fucking piece of work.
Absolutely. My God this is hard to listen to
So true , been there myself but my ex said in my face still hurts this day
This marriage is over.:-( She deserves someone who makes her feel amazing!
His friends wouldn’t know he has an issue with her looks unless he told them that.
They know because he’s type or he’s exes do not look like her.
Well that's a given. The girl asked if he STILL had an issue with her looks.
Yes, the way she talked, it was "do you still have a problem" type of conversation.
Not necessarily true. They may have brought it up because they’re cruel and petty!
@@elainelight9286 only you give people power of talking down on your spouse or partners , he definitely initiated this as his issues and they were all acting like a therapy as it's his biggest problem . He disrespected first which allowed outsiders have an opinion about her , he is not protective of her , it's scary to be with a man like that when you don't even know if he respects or protects your honor , I don't pray that on my enemies either .
Emma we can literally hear how beautiful you are just over the phone! Your a total gem and its his loss. You did not fail expectations on any part, he did!
This one hits way too close to home. I'm so sorry this has happened, it hurts so much. Even if he tries to be a "good husband" and not hurt your feelings, he will always send out that energy in every interaction.
Colorism is real in the Black community.
I am a dark-skinned woman and have been treated in a worse fashion in MY OWN COMMUNITY due to colorism. (Treatment included terminated engagements and questions of potential future children's skin color)
I am deeply saddened for this woman.
I would not keep a man like that.
You shouldn't have to put up with that none from anyone. When are we going to love each other for who God created us to be?
Yup I’ve seen it both ways… either the person isn’t dark enough to be black discriminating esp against mixed race people or the person is too dark skinned. Rude comments about mixed race couples. It’s horrible!
My sister is having a baby with her bf who is half-white half-black and we’re so excited to see Baby Bean soon - what will her hair and eye color be? Ginger or brown or a bit of both? She’ll be beautiful no matter what. Bc her parents are amazing people - I know she will be, too.
Some of the kindest souls I’ve met have not been the most beautiful. And some of the ugliest personalities look like super models. And it’s had nothing to do with skin color. Good people come from any background.
Sorry you have experienced that. *hug*
@@schuylergeery-zink1923 it does not go both ways and if you are mixed you are both black and white. Unless you’re a neo nazi who believes black ancestry erases white ancestry.
Colorism exists in the Asian community also, this is a class thing with Asians. If you're darker skin it's because you labor outside for a living, so you're considered lower class and blue collar. Light skin denotes an indoors privileged lifestyle, which is why women are obsessed with skin lightening creams in Asian countries.
@@Lil-Whiskies same in India. People also bleach their skins in the phillipines
"Can he really love me if I'm not attractive?" the real question needs to be "Can he really love me if he constantly talks disrespectfully about me to his friends?" and the answer is no.
But if you actually listen to her recounting of the conversation, basically he was defending her by pointing out the qualities of hers he liked. He only admitted that the ex was more attractive, not out of disrespect but because it was simply true.
KD but then again it was his „truth“, it so fking subjective.. I thought my ex was „the most handsome man alive“ well guess what? My friend says he looks like a horse and ugly af… so like for real it’s not even his opinion that the issue here you missed the whole point.. it’s the fact that HE was discussing her with other people behind her back and it’s disrespectful and if he really had feelings for her he would discuss her weight issue with her instead of behind her back also some people can’t lose weight for example one girl I knew had heart condition and can NOT exercise so what she is not worth of love? This is retarded to say the least
@didles123 ya but that's super messed up to say. I would be devastated if my husband said that his ex was prettier than me. You just don't say that to your partner even if you feel like it is true.
@@didles123And no he was not defending her he started that conversation with the friends
@@kimberlyjones8152but he was asked by his friends. So in case the ex was prettier than you should he just say "no Kimberly, is the prettiest?"
I'm so glad that you told her that her spirit is stunning. She needed to hear that and not doubt herself.
You are the best.
Just leave him their is 7billions people out there and you are beautiful
My jaw was literally coming UNHINGED during this call. Get out, woman. You deserve way better.
She ought to do an annulment.
If she gets a divorce she's probably not gonna be able to remarry.
If she's not attractive and has self confidence issues then a better guy is not gonna happen for her.
She will never trust him again.
Or maybe no guy for that matter....
You are right, she didn't. She posted on reddit and there are updates
@@lunilunitaluna9070did she leave him?
How could she? When someone shows you their real selves believe them. She can't unsee that snake's real face, and she shouldn't. She can do so much better, so so so much better. His "friends" sound just as vile as him.
They deleted my answer? There is an update and I posted the link😮 now it is gone?
For the sound of it, it appears that he was trying to impress the other women in the call by bushing his wife. Unfortunately, the damage is done and it will take a lot of work to heal this marriage. She sounds like a very beautiful woman inside out with a kind heart and soul!!
I just found this channel and been binge watching all day, I love how compassionate this man is, giving great advice and also the comment section is A+!!!
I’m getting married in 6 months, and all I know is that NOBODY is going to be allowed to bad mouth my future wife in front of me. That will be shut down immediately. Luckily, my friends and family are all people that would never do something like that. Her husband’s “friends” are not true friends.
Amen !!!
🙌❤
@tigress63 You aren't a abd friend. We all need more honesty from our friends.
@@miriamespinoza3766 everything you said is perfectly fine. Honesty out of love and concern for your friends is admirable and right. I guess my original post has to do with “friends” that deliberately go out of their way to diminish your spouse in front of you. Just spouting hurtful things like “dude your wife is soooo ugly and fat, how can you be attracted to her!?” Those people will have no place in my life, if they ever show themselves
Then you are a true man, my friend! Congrats on your upcoming wedding! 🎉
The very thought of my wife being in any pain makes me physically ill.
I hope that never changes
a true protector
But you’ll let her eat until she’s 240 pounds and can’t walk up a set of stairs without almost dying. That’s not love
A real man
@@mybestnugget7514 what
Sweet and gentle Emma, you're willing to bear betrayal and contempt from a weak man who looks down on you; the while overlooking your beloved one; Is your heart not hurting?
Hear me, we may think we're undeserving of the goodly things of life because of some inherent defect/lowliness, it is difficult to see ourselves as worthy of love and respect.
Know this, your Lord is He who fashioned you from nothingness and into maturity and wisdom; He knows your true worth. Have faith, in that the mechanism that brought you bitter truth could also produce blessings. Mercy is knowing the hard-truth instead of suffering slowly while blaming yourself. May you find healing and may life grant you better than you could possibly desire!
What a compassionate, smart and amazing response from Dr. John Delony. As a new viewer, I am so impressed!
I lost it when she said : can he love me if « I’m not attractive » as opposed to « if he does not find me attractive ». That means it’s already affecting the way she sees herself and I hate that
Homely girls need love too.
Yea, I caught that too. My heart hurts for her. Sounds like she had it in her head that she isn’t attractive. She sounds like she wants to stay with him. If he can talk about that stuff with his friends, imagine what else he tells them about her behind her back.
Yes I picked up on it and corrected her out loud! “Not attractive to HIM” is what she should have said. She deserves better than that.
@@soulRegal08 yes!!! The person she loves most potentially validated lifelong insecurities
But interestingly enough he already said he loved her.
Thus marriage is over. No woman can process the emotional wreckage of hearing the man you have chosen as a life partner demeaning your looks and laughing about it with his friends.
Your reply to the woman with the husband talking behind her back, she needed to hear those words and how much u meant them. I could hear it in her voice. Poor thing! You are honestly the best person she could have confided in. Thanks for helping her. My emotional maturity is tanking on this guy. She sounds so nice too 😢
This is horrific! I would rather be alone, I wouldn’t be able to be intimate or anything with my significant other knowing this. The fact that his so-called “friends” would even feel comfortable saying that is beyond…
He should have shut down any conversation about his wife ... his so called friends disrespecting his wife is also disrespecting him ... Imagine when they are off the phone what they say about HIM 🙄
@@clarkclarke Good point! I agree!
@@clarkclarke Well clearly he welcomed the conversation at a previous time or they wouldn’t be bringing it up again. You’re right he lacks self respect, so I presume he doesn’t know how extend respect to his spouse…
@@calikeisha365 exactly
I agree! And I am alone and will continue to be alone until I meet someone compatible.
God made her turn back for a reason. She needs to be strong and decide her next step forward.
💯
I really hope she takes the out.
@@angelawesselsdo you want a partner that loves your character and finds your looks decent. Or one that loves your looks and finds your character decent. Look it’s is not easy to find a guy that loves you for you and is willing to let go of his physical requirements.
@@honestfriend767 apparently its also not easy to find someone who respects his wife enough to not talk trash about her to his idiot 'friends'
This 👏👏👏
I’m willing to bet a lot that the husband looks like a troll.
Oh my god, i really need to know what happened next. I'm just heartbroken for this lady, she sounds so lovely.
If a man talks bad about you (right after they came back from the honeymoon!) to other women... he does not love or respect you. Get an annulment
👏🏼absolutely.
I got out within three weeks. He never asked me once what was wrong.
Exactly my thoughts
@PhwanRegSop what happened?