What Your Momma Never Told You About Childbirth | Marianne Ryan | TEDxWilmingtonSalon
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- čas přidán 5. 09. 2024
- Pregnancy and childhood can be an amazing experience. Unfortunately there are ongoing physical problems that remain long after childbirth. Marianne explains why modern maturity leaves are too short and what recent mothers should do to ensure they fully recover a healthy body.
MARIANNE RYAN PT, OCS is a physical therapist, board-certified orthopedic clinical specialist and a mom. She has over 30 years experience treating pregnant and postpartum women in her Manhattan based physical therapy practice. Ryan is an award-winning author of the best-selling book, "Baby Bod - Turn Flab to Fab in 12 Weeks Flat" and is a former spokesperson for the American Physical Therapy Association. Marianne taught at Columbia University School of Nursing and New York University. She has appeared on dozens of national TV and radio shows and has been featured in Redbook, Fitness, USA Today and the Wall Street Journal. Marianne is passionate about helping women reclaim their bodies after childbirth and developed the online Baby Bod Coaching Program.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx
it makes me really angry when i think of all the women suffering from child birth for so long and all that they get is "it's normal" as responds
I agree. We are really behind in offering good postnatal care, especially if you compare the US to other countries like France.
Baby Bod Marianne Ryan PT i talked with my grandma about this issue and she expirienced the same. but this was in the 60s. that doesn't make it any less bad but its sad that postnatal care in the US isnt any different today (we life in germany and it seems to be improved here by know)
Thanks for your feedback Ann (sorry for the late reply) Yes, it is sad that women are told and believe that it is "normal" to have many problems after childbirth... I would love to spread the message that it may be COMMON to have pain or other problems as a result of childbirth, but it is not NORMAL to live with them!
True
@scott sanger says the man who will never give birth 😂 you ate clueless and hilarious!
My first pregnancy was great and so was the birth, but in UK healthcare it's all about baby and mothers are an afterthought. I breastfed because I was told that it was going to speed up my recovery, but it did the opposite. I was never told to take supplements so my body started deteriorating. All the nutrients were going into the milk and there was nothing left for me. We need to help young mothers look after themselves and stop women from feeling that they have to be martyrs in order to be good mothers. We deserve to look after ourselves.
This! Yes. O, the heavenly breastfeed. The pressure on women to breastfeed. I bled from my nipples for weeks, was miserable, in pain and all I kept hearing from so called professionals is: keep going, you are such a fantastic mother. Shut up. I was on the brink of depression. This was 16 years ago, but I can vividly remember how I felt. Switched to formula after 6 weeks, was completely exhausted, felt like a failure, until finally my baby stopped crying. He relaxed when he got a bottle, he felt my stress all this time.
I'm so furious how often women are dismissed by medical professionals during pregnancy. They're all too quick to say pre and post pregnancy issues are normal. This lead to my daughter's preterm birth because I was told that my pelvic pain was normal. Well, it wasn't normal, I had an infection and my daughter was born at 24 weeks.
I’m so sorry to hear of your experience. I hope you find peace & healing, in time. 💕
I don’t want children. Thankfully.
Me either and at 43 it’s off the table
We asians encourage new mothers to sit back for 1 month or sometimes 44 days before going back to pre-pregnancy activities. We also eats herbal chicken soup and get hot herbal bath for 1 month. If gave birth by caesarean, we encourage to sit back for 3 months. What I meant by sit back is, we dont do house tasks, not going out for at least 44 days, and limit our activities just to hold the baby. All other tasks, we leave it to out husband or to our mother in law or our family member.
I'm not Asian but I pretty much do this! Problem is in the U.S mother's and fathers don't have the time they need off work to allow bonding and healing. And they don't receive the education they need on how to recover from child birth. Doctors just worry about the baby and don't say anything to the mother unless they say something is wrong at their check up. Just because these things happen doesn't mean we should be afraid of bearing children. I firmly believe that women need to educate themselves and be their own advocates because the information is out there if we look and there needs to be changes made in the workplace for parents with newborns!
We do the same things in small towns in Mexico.
Sounds good to me.
That sounds like the story of Meghan in the video
Here in the west women have to do everything by themselves as family here don't support each other the same way
I’m preparing to have my first child and my professor gave me this to watch this semester as part of my Lifespan Development class for Psychology, and I am so glad she did. Wow. Wooow. All my LIFE I WAS TOLD THAT WAS NORMAL!!!
I'm glad there's a way for women to recover after childbirth. But for me, hearing what can happen, just made me more determined not to go into that. If I ever feel the desire to be a mom-I will adopt. Simple as that.
ReStOrEdLiFe88 same here!
ReStOrEdLiFe88 me too . Also it seems I stay single for a longer time anyway and then my time slot is done :(
me too
That's sad. You let fear keep you from the greatest joy in life. And yes, having your own pregnancy and birth IS the greatest. Adoption is incredible too, but not the same. Although we need parents to adopt the children without parents..
@@SolidSiren Giving birth might be the greatest joy for YOU. It's not the same for everyone. Let people decide their happiness and act according to it. Stop making such blanket statements.
With my first child I had no issues at all. The birth was awful 26 hours long.. within a week I felt great. almost better then before the baby! After my second baby however that was not the case.. my second birth was wonderful, almost painless and was over in 9 hours! I ended up pulling a disk in my back. I had incontinence and extreme bleeding for months. It too nearly 2 years of work to get back to normal. More people should do like this lady says! Going to physical therapy was the best thing I ever did.
That is just part of the deal, each birth can be very different. Glad you are feeling better:)
Melserable 😢😱😱😱 - glad you’re better now
No one talks about the prolapsed organs, trouble shooting breastfeeding, let alone be faced with returning to with within a month of delivery.
I'm a nurse and I've never heard of this treatment option! This video started out scary but ended on a positive note
Thanks Cleo:)
In some European countries midwifes and physiotherapists get training for training the pelvic diaphragm, which works together with your stabilising back and abdominal muscles - so it is good to train if you have back problems without giving birth either.
The answer is even more simple: It's expensive and rarely covered by insurance. They don't have the money to take care of themselves. My doctor wanted me to do physical therapy for pelvic floor dysfunction. The treatment was three days a week for two months, at $210 per visit. That is FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS, people!
I love my mother and I respect moms but I cannot have kids, I'm sorry I won't do it.
I am sorry you can't have kids :(
KALEIDO jess Is it because you physically can't have kids or because you don't want kids? If you physically can't have biological kids you could always adopt a child already in need of a mother. If you don't want children at all then that's great, you are helping population control 😅
KALEIDO jess totally agree with you! I absolutely have NO desire to have kids, and this talk just confirms my decision.
Women are extremely strong. Not having a support system during and after pregnancy makes it even harder but it isn't impossible. Granted we are female and our bodies can do these amazing things, but there are bigger risks than a few temporary/ bodily changes, you could die in childbirth and no doctors dont tell you that. There are more deaths during childbirth in hospitals than in home births because of all the so called precautionary standards. Now, just because I said that doesnt mean if you get pregnant there's a 50% chance you're going to die. It's just a possibility! A lot of healthy women have such easy births and pregnancies they don't even have a scratch or stretch mark. Fear just isn't a noble reason to not experience the most satisfying job in existence. I was very afraid because I didn't have supportive information by family or doctors. People are selfish and you really have to have discipline and understanding on how to care for yourself no matter what. Bottom line, not everyone should conceive for plenty of reasons.
She means WON'T have kids-I'm sure she could if she wanted to
My heart goes out to the women who were brave enough to reproduce, but I'll tell you what it isn't for me.
So glad you're sharing this important info, Marianne Ryan! Thanks TEDx for bringing such great topics to life.
Most people here in the USA don’t have health insurance, and if they do have it, it may not cover post partum physical therapy, so that’s the difference between us and many other developed European, and Asian countries that offer special programs not only for moms, but for both parents. We need big changes in the American healthcare system. We need universal health care like all Scandinavian countries.
Ummm....doctors or your mother don't tell you these things because if you knew you might decide not to have kids. Moms want grand-kids and doctors want your business, they have an agenda for not telling you and some mothers may say to themselves that it's uncommon that it will happen to her so why worry her but they are not being honest with themselves about withholding that info. I was recently talking to a woman about all the things no one tells you about childbirth. She said all the time she had talking to her mom, talking to her doctor, talking to her friends, they would always talk about the baby or child rearing tips or finding baby sitters etc. But they never would mention anything about her body or what could happen to her or ask her questions about the changes she experiencing. It was only when she was having a major issue that she would find out about these specific bodily function changes and she was so surprised and unprepared for it she didn't understand why no one not even her doctor mentioned her that "some women experience this or that" she would have felt more prepared and not so mystified or freaked out when it did happen to her.
Yes, very true. What needs to happen is not warning women, but offering them health care options to prevent or reverse (or at least make better) the changes that occurs from childbirth. And lets all tell them that it is not normal to be in pain, or leaking urine - a women's health physical therapist can help them and they deserve it.
Exaxtly. I believe nowadays, with all the information available, it's only the uneducated who will continue having children.
Why are women still telling each other that our “problems” after childbirth are normal? So glad I found this video now that I’m pregnant!
By now you gave birth. How did everything go?
@@physicaltherapyformoms196 it went well and my babe is 10 weeks! I am starting PT for pelvic floor this week! My specialist also said just because it’s common doesn’t mean it’s normal.
She’s amazing!
This is the reason why men and women need to respect women that doesn't want a child
I respect all the breeder caste
Exactly. God. When I was in my 20s and told people I didn't want kids, I was called selfish! What is more selfish than contributing to the overpopulation of our planet by popping out a mini-me 🙄 the narrative seems to be changing now, thankfully.
@@rhythmandblues_alibi having kids is selfisg
SAME for women recovering from hysterectomy or other abdominal surgery. My back and pelvic pain are much better after pelvic floor physio, following the (much needed) hyst, yet it was my own research and initiative that caused me to pursue physio. It should be standard care, it’s so important for basic functioning, and it is inexpensive! (Compared to surgery)
Glad you recovery is going will. Yes, pelvic physical therapy should be standard care for post-surgical pelvic and abdominal surgery.
Off Topic but the beautiful cat in your picture looks exactly like mine ;-)
I don’t understand why government or corporates don’t sympathize with a working mother and not give her one year paid leave ! It is such a toll on postpartum mother and this apart years down the lane, it actually increases healthcare prices !!!
I highly doubt that, since 90% of the US politicians are males, and think that we can mindcontrol our periods, and shut down pregnancies by will alone. Also, we are only women, humans second class.
Marianne Ryan PT promptly shared this video to my friends the moment I saw the video, it’s very educative, although at first it does looks like promoting physical therapy business but at the end of the day, it is indeed essential for all mothers to really take care of themselves and to give their body some attention that is required and physical therapy does the job of relaxing all those torn, worn and bruised muscles! I have been to physical therapy and have always have had good results and also took my baby too for some physical therapy for stiff neck muscle and she seems to have responded well...
Simone Bayer then they say that USA is very advanced country ! How can it be advanced when the corporates in that country fear the loss of productivity or economy if a mother takes paid leave for one year! How backward those first class man is!
USA is so screwed up in the healthcare department. In Estonia you can get 3 years off work (18 months of it is paid leave) to take care of your child once they're born. In USA women have to scrounge together sick days and vacation time to take 2-3 months off work.
Archana Nagarajan it’s Common in Germany :)
26 going on 27 and I’m on the fence between having kids and stuff like this pushes me to the no zone big time...
fortunatelyfortunate Same man..idk I’m unsure
It's going to be gory either way. Even if you have no issues. Birth is not pretty.
@@zuzanazuscinova5209 another untold story...
I was on the fence in my early 30s. The thing that made up my mind is if you do have one and find that being a parent is not for you, you can't shove it back in and ask for a refund. To me, if there's any doubt, then the answer has to be no. I would hate to have a child and then resent them for how they changed my life and my body, when they didn't choose to be born.
All the more reason for me to stay childfree.
Same
One doesn't need any more reason than the fact that pronatalism is child abuse.
Amen! 🙌
I was in Labour for three days, eventually baby was pulled out. I had three failed epidurals and ended up with 17 stitches as I was torn so badly. Then straight into almost a year of no longer than two hours sleep at a time. I went back to work after six weeks on top of all of that. I was so stressed I thought I was going to go mad. It does depend how much help a woman has too. Having a bit supportive network to allow a mother to rest is key. Much love to all new mums it’s so very hard and it does get better once they sleep x
Great seeing so many males in the audience.
I do NOT want children. I do NOT want to go through pregnancy, painful labour, sleepless nights (for 2 years), post natal and pre-natal depression, angry moods, financial worries (for 21 years), school applications and home tutoring at nights!
Good for you!
Men are so lucky they never have to go through pregnancy
Sarani Bhattacharya Most women don’t have to go through it either. It’s a choice.
Women don't have to either.
Men have their own problems. The grass is never greener on the other side.
@@millennialodyssey5956 Yep. True.
@@millennialodyssey5956 but they are always have biological advantage
In my culture when a woman gives birth she is being care by her mother and mother in law for a month. This means she doesn’t do anything but rest until her body and mind is fully recovered from giving birth, trauma. We are on a strict diet, eating only homemade food, hot soup and chicken with lots of herbs. I agree with this dr. Don’t do too much especially physical activities after birth, your body and mind needs rest.
I think it is great that your culture takes postpartum recovery seriously and that moms are supported by their mothers and mother-in-laws. The only thing I disagree with is that some cultures believe that women need total bedrest for 30 days after delivery and I think that women should be encouraged to move as much as possible, like taking mini walks and gentle stretching exercises for the first week or two and if they have the right supervision they can start gentle strengthening exercises at week two.
Thank you for sharing this information. I agree that we need to take the taboo out of post pregnancy conditions. This has been very insightful and I’m sharing it with all my friends who are new mothers. I’ll make sure my husband sees this too.
Good for you and all the women you will help by making them aware!
Not only the French.... sorry I was watching it, as a German I thought the full time, are they really not going to pelvic floor training after birth. Sorry, but for me it's essential. I am shocked, that it seems not normal in other countries
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Yes, pelvic floor physiotherapy after childbirth is become standard in many countries, with the US way behind in awareness and taking care of postpartum women.
I am currently in pelvic floor PT in US and I am shocked at what I learned AFTER child birth and disturbed at US for being so behind on this but not one bit surprised. We have a severely flawed healthcare system. I was only sent to this PT because my amazing midwives suggested .
And don’t get me started on the time off thing.... people would only complain about it coming out of they’re taxes anyway . It’s a true shame. My husband works as a nurse 70 hours a week so I can be home with our baby .
kackerlakensalat im German too, not planning to become mother soon (single), and I am working /Training my pelvic floor all the time. One can do it sitting on the loo during peeing.. ;) and during yoga :)
Great talk. I though that she is trying to scared women, but actually she just pointet out that after childbirth you take care of your pelvic floor . There you go.
I’m pregnant right now. Love this😊
I just had my first, my son, 4.5 months ago. I had minimal tearing but I had pelvic ligament separation during pregnancy that was exacerbated by birth. I received ZERO information about physical therapy, in 2018! Luckily, my bursitis diagnoses as a teenager taught me long ago to know better, and I knew what stretches and positions that would help me.
I'm sure money also plays a part in not seeking help. Insurance may not cover much, if any, of the costs of physical therapy.
This problems are often caused by wrong treatment of the medical staff. When a women must lay down during labor and is told to push hard it can cause damage to herself and the baby. It is so important to insist on a natural and comfortable Birth position and to patiently wait for the last Contractions that delivers the baby with minimal pushing and helps the baby to come out in a way that is safer for the baby and for the mother's organs. I know those contractions are the most painful but they are also the most important for safe labor and also for the recovery, they help Restore the muscles and organs and shape of the mother's body back , I know, I felt it on myself. And besides that of course it is crucial that the mother will get enough rest and nutrition, before and after the birth as long as she kneeds to heal. Google Physiological birth...and congratulations! Enjoy your little bundle of joy 💞
Or, those problems may be often caused during giving birth, but sometimes during the pregnancy itself, more accurate - the second half of it.
Very insightful and well stated points. What women can do with our bodies is magical.
This is such unique information, nobody is told this! Even my midwife and lactation consultant never told me anything beyond "get a massage" after giving birth. In the US we are told that women all over the world are hardier than we are, and just birth their babies and go on with their work. In my case my coordination was off after giving birth, and I fell down the stairs carrying a tray of food.
So necessary for this information to get out to new moms everywhere!
Glad someone discussing it and its downright mean if women don't tell each other these things.
What struck me is these symptoms sound like what can happen during massive nutrient deficiencies of some sort, and that is what makes the most sense here since the mother gave everything to the child.
So a course of action might be to first of all figure out if you already have any of these symptoms, how to correct them because you know it'll be more of the same probably for the same reasons
It would be great if we could solve these problems with diet and nutrition, but there is more going on that needs addressing.
'Physical therapy' ... 'recovery' ... makes it sound like childbirth is like experiencing a horrific accident. I sure dont regret not having kids, those of you who did, wow... sudden new appreciation.
You’re organs get moved and crushed by a baby... what did you think would happen?
It is very much a trauma experience for your body. I love my son more than life, but I wish I had been sent to a physical therapist post-partum.
It is major injury.
@@beth8775 I find it a bit sad that women always have to emphasize the love for their children when talking about the effects of pregnancy.
It is like having an accident... your organs are moved around. Bones shifted. Things stretched. Hormones all out of wack. It's a major event. People break bones, rip muscles, have aneurysms, heart attacks, and so on. This isn't ok
Mama wannabes, join your local La Leche League WHILE YOU ARE PREGNANT if you want to breastfeed. There's SO MUCH to know, and if you hear other mama's experiences of the process before Baby comes, you will have a toolbox of info/techniques should you encounter problems. You will also have a free breastfeeding counselor to call who already knows you.
PS - My digestive organs didn't feel like they got back into their rightful places until DS was 2 yrs old! So, Marianne is on the right track.
im physiotherapist. i never wanted kids but acter studies im even more disturbe how it efects you. its really hard want kids with all these knowleges 😕
I have to come back to this talk. I had a few births. I had training always after, of course. My mother told me. But now first kid is 20, youngest is 6, I realized I do need training again. I couldn't find a course which would be for women like me. Only new mothers . After some research I found hula hoop. It's great cheap. Do it.
After experiencing some of the things Ms. Ryan described in her Ted Talk, I chose not to have another child. The whole process of morning sickness and other physical changes & ailments turned me off.
I can't imagine having organs falling out of a hole. I'd be traumatized for life. That's scary
We live in a country where insurance does not cover the cost of PT. Answer is national healthcare.
I am TTC currently and am very thankful for this information.
I seriously don’t wanna have any children after this video.
Oh, I think it was a fine talk and some fear is unavoidable with this topic - it's just a lot for the body. From someone who's quite vary of the topic, I just maybe have a recommendation. Some examples picked (like the one of the woman doing too much too soon) were very drastic. I felt like the story wasn't told to complete the picture but to pick a krass example to compare to, which was empathized in the way you talked off the story. I think you can't please everyone on this topic, some people are just going to get scared - and telling the truth about this topic is far more important - if any of these things are to happen, I'd rather know that and make an informed choice about potential pregnancy. However, after the talk I had to remind myself of all the women I am surrounded by and who somehow survived childbirth more or less alright, and I don't really think that is the feeling I was supposed to be left with.
@Marianne Ryan PT your presentation was very useful, wish we had the same specialists in my country who can help women after childbirth.
I’m almost 30 and I’ve never wanted children. This talk gave even more weight to my decision lol
Marianne Ryan PT Actually hearing Megan's story was a good warning for me. I had no idea that could happen to younger women. Thought it was something only elderly women experienced (those that had lots of children). I'll definitely be more careful with my body after childbirth now & be open to physical therapy
@Marianne Ryan PT @Pauline is very right. The topic was important to bring an attention to and talk about but the way it has been done and even the tone were unnecessarily dramatic. When doctors will talk about it with the mothers to be to make them prepared and take care of themselves, I hope they will do it differently. There is no need to make women being in state of fear while pregnant (and in general), otherwise there will more likely become the subjects of postpartum depression.
To be clear, I am a 56 yo women, mother of 2 sons, and do understand what's is about. Also in Israel, where I am from, the medical care system is more concentrated on children then on women. Still.... What I've just said above
one of the best ted talks.
I'm sure the nun in the front row felt relieved that she doesn't have to worry about any of this. Lol
Anyways, I'm glad I watched this video. Currently pregnant with my rainbow baby and trying to get educated in every aspect of this new chapter in my life. Thank you Marianne Ryan!
@@marianneryanpt6714 @Marianne Ryan PT Yes, I delivered my baby almost 7 weeks ago. I'm extremely happy and relieved that everything turned out well. Unfortunately, a few weeks after delivery I got appendicitis. I'm now still trying to recover from the surgery. But all okay. Thank you for asking, Marianne. I hope you're well!
So happy for you. I hope all goes well with the birth of your rainbow baby.
Very informative and candid, great job!
You are talking about normal childbirth not c sections they take a lot longer too recover from. Also add. A scar too that
That's what the BOOK most OBs give you is for. Although avoid obsession over the last few chapters (birth defects, etc). It will terrify you.
I broke my tail bone during my first childbirth, it still cracks back and forth if I sit down the wrong way
Sorry to hear that. You might want to have a physical therapist who has advanced training in pelvic health evaluate your pelvis and coccyx. I have successfully treated many women who develop pain in the coccyx area, it is "common but not normal to just live with it".
+Baby Bod Marianne Ryan PT it is bad, I'll take your advice. Thank you
:,(
Thank you for sharing this, Marianne. Your heartful speech has helped bring together the things I had learned. This advice has definitely reinforced my belief in proper care for all women even after birth and delivery. Having a great birth and pregnancy is not the fairytale's ending. We are only halfway there.
Yes!
I'm scared to be pregnant and go through labor and give birth...if I ever have kids I'll most likely adopt
There's definitely lots of kids of all ages that need good homes! ✌💚
The sad thing is women have to be educated and their own advocates … I remember the terrible back pain and doctors just saying yep … it happens … it was years of back pain before I was pushed into physical therapy .
I think she needs to change her approach. What women really need is education and support, not fear. Women need better birth, not more fear. Medical birth is what causes most of these issues. I have had 5 children and I am 31 and I can tell everyone it's all about how you take care of your self. I agree with physical therapy, taking it slow, and chiropractor care. But her fear driven talk is not a way to change things.
@Marianne Ryan PT "I did not want to make women fearful of childbirth." But you did, unfortunately. Look on some of the comments coming from young women. Don't get me wrong, the topic was very important, and the talk was needed. But the manner it was delivered, from the very beginning was way too dramatic. Sorry, this is how I felt.
God, how I wish I knew this with my pregnancies! If I did, perhaps I wouldn't have all the issues I am having now at 47 (fit and otherwise healthy!).
I noticed the sacroiliac belt and the pelvic floor support belt on your website -- but doctors don't really know about these -- they tell women that support like that would only weaken muscles, like a crutch.
well, people of that generation probably didn't feel comfortable talking about post-partum body horror, that's probably most of it. but it should be more widely discussed now, it is true! in all the pregnancy literature i've come across, VERY little of the aftermath is ever discussed.
I wonder if the "standing-supported" birthing position advocated by Dr. Michel Odent (had birthing center in Pithvier France) is healthier for the mother's pelvic floor and other muscles. Or water birth? Do you recommend a birthing position which has less physical strain for the mother?
This made me felt more safe and confident about child birth! Thank you so much
I am glad it helped you!
How do you go to all these physio appointments with a baby??????????
katherine hughes if you have good support system should be easy. If you dint then probably SOL
Is there a certain kind of physical therapist who is specially trained for this? Is this in your book -- what kind of therapy/exercises they do in France?
There totally are, but you'll probably have to hunt.
This is why I don’t have kids. 😬🙈
Ana Lozada Amen!!
Yeah, that's exactly what my friends thought many many years ago. Now we're all around fifty and the ones who didn't have children (by choice) all start to cry whenever the subject comes up. No judgement here, just be aware that it can become a very deep sorrow.
@@mcdoodle158 you can adopt
Someone with Tokophobia might not want to watch this. Now I'm also terrified of postpartum, as well as the labor and delivery.
Hi. I am sorry if this talk scared you. The point I was trying to talk about is that women can fully recover from childbirth if they take the right steps and don't do too much too soon.
same here
Kynthia Johnston I hope you are feeling less worried now? Our bodies create miracles! But, right after we hold our Beautiful miracle, we stop taking care of us! You just want to make sure you take care of you. That little miracle needs you for many years to come. And you might even create more miracles.
Kynthia Johnston It is also fully okay to not want and have children of your own
oh my word me too im adopting my kids no way no how am i doing that not going to talk about it too much for both of our sakes but when i was five i saw some videos by accident and long story short your personally forms under age six and i have a phobia i cant stop i used to hate my self for it i thought no would want to marry me i though adoptive parents could not truly be parents but through therapy i relised something i did not magically get over all my fears rather i learned something much more important if someone could not understand my fears and be supportive they did not truly love me and even more importantly that frankly kids have horribly abusive parents and need to be removed from their homes while some have amazing loving parents and couldn't be happier most kids that get out of abusive homes do not see their "parents" as their mom and dad. what i mean is this: who your parents are is not decided by who gives birth to you but who takes care of you and loves you unconditionally
In my next birth I’d like to be a guy ....
Working 2 jobs and dying at 60? Ok. Deal !
@@k.p.636 right, because doing the majority/all of the housework, working, and taking on most of the childrearing is a walk in the park. yall are so weak and would hate to have our expectations and responsibilities.
Thank you so much
Please spread the message that women need more medical support after childbirth.
This video makes me not as scared about childbirth knowing that there is something I can do about the normal problems
There is a saying - it comes 9 months, it goes 9 months.
Don't the midwife tell the becoming mothers what to do after birth?
Not all midwives have the extended time that is required to help the moms. I think there should be postpartum care doctors and nurses to help women through the entire first year after birth.
This is just so important! New mums have loads of problems that they just put up with, that could have been avoided. In Finland where I live, one physical therapy lesson is offered in hospital after birth. Most mums are too tired to remember much, though. Last time around I did a lot of own research and built up my body gradually - by 6 months I had pretty much recovered, and could start my hobbies again (football, running, weight-lifting).This time, I don't have time for a lot of research, so I plan to buy an online post partum exercise course.
Where she get those boots!? 😍😍
I’m glad to watch this and share the wisdom !
I think China has a very strong sense of postpartum rehab.
You are so right!! Only after my second birth when the pain was awful ( lower back pain, pelvic pain ) I went to physical therapy. I am six months after birth and still having pain although it improved significantly. I am sorry I didn't go to physiotherapy after my first birth ( I had back pain but it was not as severe). Unfortunately, seeking treatment after birth in not the norm, still when I talk to my friends I feel weird because non of them takes the time to check themselves after giving birth. I hope going for PT will become standard procedure after giving birth to improve the quality of life of many women and avoid unnecessary pain.
I feel like the epidural and csections cause a lot of these issues
Good luck getting actual treatment for any of this with the medical patriarchy going on.
I have 2 daughters I think I’m going to take your advice.
I have hemorrhoids sense I was 16 weeks pregnant and it's been 3 years idk what to do and the doctors have told me it's normal which clearly it isn't and how do you help back pain it's absolutely ridiculous how much it hurts and they just say it's normal I went to physical therapy and it has not helped at all
HI KB sorry you are in so much pain. For Hemorrhoids I would go to a Gastroenterologist for an evaluation and ask for a treatment program. (you may need surgery to resolve it). As far as physical therapy goes, why don't you try going to another practice? (make sure to speak to the owner of the PT practice prior to making an appointment and ask if there is a therapist available with advanced manual skills and has a lot of experience treating the spine and pelvis.)
I have gone back but I wasn't able to pay for it they gave me thing to help tho and I've tried to keep up with it but I can't always do then and also I forgot this one but ever sense I gave birth in able to pop something in my pelvic area it doesn't hurt but it's not normal
A little over a year after giving birth I injured my lumbar spine - lifting a pot of spaghetti. If this advice about physical therapy were standard medical practice, I would be able to pick up my almost 2 year old son today. I'm really pissed off that it's not!
A pregnant mother should learn about yoga during pregnancy
very moving talk. thank you
I think Marianne is possibly Megan.
LOL.
i wish i was a seahorse so i could give birth so women dont have to. they should not have to go thru that. 🥺
The American model of childbirth contributes significantly to pelvic floor damage. The Valsalva maneuver while in the lithotomy position (aka purple pushing while laying on your back) is TERRIBLE for the pelvic muscles. Throw in episiotomies, epidurals (can't feel what your body is doing) and the catheters that come with the epidural and it's a perfect storm of damage, even in the most "uncomplicated" of births. Throw in the lack of postnatal support for American mom's who feel the need to take care of baby, kids, and home the second they walk in the door and you have already over worked muscles that never have the chance to recover.
As BTDT mothers, we really need to break down the walls of isolation, and reach out to help our new sisters. Even if it's just by bringing over dinner, and throwing a load of laundry in the wash. As new mothers, we *don't* need to do it all, and it's ok to ask for help.
I love this video, great job.
Thank you!
But how can I afford it?
Good question. More and more hospitals are offering group classes for free or at a low cost.
I'd be interested to know how many of the women in the statistics had epidurals and c-sections. I didn't snap back, but I wouldn't change anything. Well, I wish I'd been healthier, but I wasn't 😀 I am totally for not doing too much too soon etc... I still have some pelvic pain from having my last baby; she's five.
I wonder if it's slightly easier for women who are fit or muscular?I know birth experience is for the most part completely random, but does it maybe have an effect?
xMissPegasusx i'm sure if you're healthier going in, Katy Bowman has talked about abdominal strength and pelvic floor training beforehand
Yes, studies show that women who exercise during pregnancy have better outcome during childbirth and after. But, some women who are in great shape can still develop problems and should not feel like it is their fault.
Throw that out the window if you have c-sections. Those supportive muscles get cut and that's it. You are now owner of a baby pouch.
And here I am acting up infront of my mom and not doing everything I possibly can to make her happy. May Allah forgive us all and grant her Paradise, Ameen
@@user-zx1ii7vf2z it was, partially.
14:51
Nice to know about this.
20-30x(maybe 100x) :don't do too much, after'yo baby-birth...
But i recomend, do always inner bottom training, in every minute,yo re in yo sence for body health,& energy(pump it)...Eternity Source!
My brother Dinsdale was born in February 1929, and again two weeks later.
I had 2 natural home births. Yes there are certain tolls that childbirth takes but if you take care of yourself and not stress yourself too much you will be very likely just fine. Childbirth is only a little percentage of motherhood. The main thing is that the mother needs to take care of herself too. Don't hold your pee, do kegels etc.
I was 30 with my first and 36 with my second. I was absolutely normal after both. Probably your mother was too. I had back pain after the baby reached 20 pounds. Doctor said husband should run vacuum and lift baby from crib. That solved problem. Husband became world’s greatest vacuumist. My sister had prolapse but had surgery and is fine now.
That's great news Barbara. No, my mother was not absolutely normal after childbirth and is suffering with several problems related to giving birth to 5 kids. The attitude was, it is normal to have these problems after childbirth and a women needs to learn to live with it.
Our 'mommas didn't tell us' because they didn't know what to expect. They were just told that they had to do it. Thank God for the digital age of technology! I now have a choice and it's to bypass pregnancy and childbirth. There's no way in heck that I'll ever put my body through any of that!
9:43 reality can be way horrific than a horror movie. That is to say truth is stranger than fiction.
Thank you ♡
So what is too much too soon
I want to get pregnant next year. I have tokophobia... This didnt help :(
Please do not be scared of pregnancy and birth. Everyone’s experience is different. Just make sure you have a doctor that you are comfortable with. Child birth is not terrible for everyone. I suffered from pelvis floor pain for years before I had a baby. I was able to have a great birth and checked up with my physio at 6 weeks after to start working on things again and they weren’t too bad. I feel like she is trying to scare women in this video. Self care is important. But women also have to fight for their health and be persistent or find a different doctor if they are not getting the help they need. And women need to open up with other women about these things.
Sorry