5 Subtle Traits of Autism, Do you have these? Autism Vlog 16
Vložit
- čas přidán 8. 10. 2023
- In this weekly autism video, I'll show you my morning routine along with a new hairstyle. We will talk about subtle traits of autism. Let's talk about masking, social cues and inflexible routines that those of us on the spectrum may experience.
Great video! I dedicate less time as possible getting ready. I'm just grateful that society doesn't expect men to wear makeup, I can't stand lotions or any sustance on my skin 🫠 I just freak out.
We are renovating the bathrooms, and I can feel how the dirt in the air gets on my skin.
Yes, lucky you. LOL I think there are many women who choose not to wear makeup. It's just a personal choice. I have blonde eyebrows and blonde eyelashes. So, I feel I need a little color to my face because I would look too pale otherwise. I don't like to put base (that's what goes under powder) I don't use it at all because the way it feels. Good luck on your bathroom renovation! :)
I absolutely relate to your masking experiences Jenny. I think it's one of the main reasons we often feel the need to be alone - for peace in our minds for a while so that we can get back out there again 💕💕
My Counselor told me to join in at lunch every so often with my co-workers. But I haven't done it yet. I find too much peace sitting in my car enjoying nature. They don't even ask me anymore and I'm ok with that. I know they know about my autism and accept me anyway. Thank you Liz! :)
@jennyaspie I 100% relate Jenny. At my work there wasnt any nature, but I found that sitting on the stairs gave me more peace than the staff room! 🤣🤣
Jenny, this is the main reason I've started tell more and more people I know about my Autism. @@autisticjenny
@@cupofteawithpoetry yes! We just really do need it! :)
@@scherzo12222 it gives a since of freedom doesn't it, to be yourself. To me, it feels weird at first after telling people, but after several ineractions, I don't feel that way and I feel like I can be me and they understand.
Another really good one Jenni! Would it sound extreme if I said I relate to all? 😂
Fun fact about me, I’ve been cutting my own hair for 4 years now. I used to be a hairdresser so that’s an advantage.. I blow dry my hair with a large round brush and get volume and smoothness that way. I’ve lost patience for curling my hair since I typically put it in a clip at some point like if I’m cleaning, can’t stand it hanging in my face.
Have a great week!
Thank you! Yes, that's definitely an advantage...😄 I've never tried to cut my own hair. I know I would do terrible. I bought a large round brush that's a hairdryer for blow-outs. I got it an Unclaimed Baggage. I tried it once and I was like "that's too much work." It took forever. I don't like hair in my face either but I've been seriously considering bangs for a while now. Also, it covers wrinkles! LOL
Hi Jenny---thank you for another inspiring video. I so look forward to them! About hair-styling, I have never been able to comfortably wear my mid-back length long hair any way but hanging down, and still do at age 71. I do use a curling iron a little when going out in public, and it looks pretty good. I have never in my life worn a ponytail. Not only would that feel too tight and pulling, but I would feel uncomfortably "exposed"! About masking in conversations, on our recent major (monthly) grocery trip to Walmart, shortly after we got there we bumped into a friend who had recently remarried, but we hadn't yet met this gal, who cornered me my while my husband was engaged with our friend. I learned quickly that she's an extroverted, talkative person who I probably have little in common with. As she chattered, a part of me kept thinking "Am I standing in a weird way? What should I do with my hands? Am I making enough eye contact, and the right expressions, saying the right things?, saying too much about myself? How on earth can I get out of this situation??" When we were finally able to break it off I felt so drained I wanted to go home, and had a headache. But we still had ALL the shopping to do, and a long ride home. It was a thoroughly exhausting evening. And now she wants to invite us for dinner at their house, soon! 🤔🤨😵💫
Thank you Gwennie. I didn't know if anyone would like it. LOL Thank you for commenting. :) Yes, that is a good point because when your hair is in a ponytail and for some, it can make you feel exposed. I definitely get what you are saying. Sometimes we like to hide behind our hair. And I totally get the situation you went through (dialogue in your head as she's talking) but she wanted to invite you to dinner so she didn't think anything but good things about your interaction. :) Sometimes I say "ahh, to be an extrovert. How nice that must be! 😄
@@autisticjenny The fact that she thought all was fine with our conversation means that I'm pretty good at masking, which I ought to be with so many years of experience and practice. But it still takes its toll. If I can't get out of the dinner invitation (if it happens) I think I should be totally frank with my opinions (like I am with immediate family and certain people I know well) and that might cool her off a bit (I hope!). I'm tired of the mask, Jenny. All the more so since my diagnosis, it seems.
The therapist when I was a teenager complained that I hid behind my long hair. I have long pretty straight hair. I usually wear it down. I have to wear my hair in a ponytail if I am walking outside. I hate it when the wind blows the hair in my mouth.
I try to avoid walks on super windy days---I hate hair in my face too. I do my walks most days though, so I wear a hat if the wind's a problem, even totally stuffing my hair up inside knitted (non-itchy) hats in winter. We live in a wilderness area so I don't have to worry so much about "hiding" 😄@@Catlily5
@scherzo12222 "I learned quickly that she's an extroverted, talkative person who I probably have little in common with. [...] And now she wants to invite us for dinner at their house, soon!"
That's one of the problems with masking. If you mask too good, then people really like you--- and then there is major pressure to keep masking.
The struggle is real with sounds and smells for me too. Also, I’ve been learning to mask less but have to mask at church and other places. The current church we are at, many understand differences and I feel I can be myself more than ever. It still isn’t easy because there are many who still pass judgement, even if they are trying to understand. I come home and shut down due to all the sensory and subtle masking I still find myself trying to fit in. It’s exhausting and all I can do is get in a dark room and listen to music through my AirPods. I’m 56 yrs old and yes the struggle is real with asd1, adhd, ocd tendencies and Cptsd. I can also relate to your social gathering difficulties videos. Thank you for sharing. My husband is also neurodivergent, and our two children. Communication is a hot mess express with us.
I find that I don't mask at all during the service and it's great to be able to relax my face. But after and before, that's another story. Did you tell them of your autism? I haven't done that yet. At least we are trying our best. I haven't been staying for sunday school, it's too much for me. I think I have ocd tendencies too. I find myself mouthing words over and over when I am trying to remember something. Not to mention my issues with germs lately. I know communication is hard with 2 autistic spouses. My husband's not officially diagnosed, but he is autistic and we do struggle with words. I find I best express to my husband how I feel through notes or cards.
Your kitchen looks nice! 👍
Thank you Lily..I filmed that a few days ago. It doesn't look like that today. I have some dirty dishes in the sink! LOL I'll get back to it tomorrow....
Yeah I can relate when you're hurt or something else has more priority in the autistic pyramid then the masking is one of the first things to go and why not most people are allowed to have an experience it just sucks when autistic folks aren't allowed to have an experience the same way they must do so much to try to control it sometimes
I agree.
I hate strong plastic smells, chemical smells, candles, air fresheners, gasoline and some cleaning supplies. 😫
Yes...gasoline. I also hate skunk smells!
@@autisticjenny My state legalized marijuana and there is a type called skunk weed that really smells like a skunk! 🤢 🦨
@@Catlily5 I can imagine how much that stinks!
@@autisticjenny Yeah, I am not a fan...
I'm late... I got so busy I didn't have time to watch youtube the last few days... I relate to all . About misunderstanding, it's not only me misunderstanding, but also being misunderstood, because NT people think I'm communicating like them, saying one thing while thinking something else. Many times, I decide to stay quiet just to avoid misunderstanding.
It's very interesting you called those autistic traits "subtle". For NT people, they are absolutely subtle, but to me, they are very obvious. That's funny how a different point of view can make such a difference !
I hope you had a very nice weekend and you and your family are fine ! 💕
Didn't you originally put "late to the party?" It gave me a good chuckle. No problem and no pressure Cecile. I worked over the weekend. So I was off Monday and that's why I had a video Monday. We might go on a train ride this weekend. I hope you are well!
@@autisticjenny When I came back to youtube, your video was the first one I watched, it was good news to see you posted one !
I love train rides ! I hope you'll enjoy it as much as I would !!!
@@cecile-p Thank you! It looks like we may have rain Saturday. We are still deciding what to do for the weekend. I'm definitely still procrastinating on my paper hoard. LOL
I have to wear a loose low pony tail. Claw clips and high pony tails or loose buns too high do hurt my head if worn too long. I keep it straight and straightened with flat iron most of the time, easier. I have wanted to learn how to curl with the flat iron. So thanks for sharing that.
You're welcome! Thinking about cutting my hair shorter. It curls better when it's shorter. I used to wear a bob haircut. But I don't like when it's growing out and starts touching the top of my shoulders or neck.
I am not good at masking.
I am still learning things that I had no idea why I did them and just thought I was a messed up human. However, I believe I mask alot but have no idea how to Unmask. Im not sure if I should or if it takes time to learn. I just know I am extremely exhausted often. In particular after peopling. I love and adore my family but I have to just sit by myself for at least 2 hours after I get everyone to bed or I simply just dont function well the next day. Sounds weird but I somehow have to just be all by myself to recuperate. It doesnt even work if they just dont talk to me, have to be all on my own.
Yes, isn't it hard Stacy? I've been making for decades. So, it's hard to let go of that feeling like I won't be other people's version of what I need to be. Like at work. I work with seniors and I feel like they need a smiley happy person. Sometimes after I smile and say hello and walk away, I hear them comment "She's the sweetest, nicest girl." If only they knew! Because that's not who I really am. In a way, it's like being Jekyl and Hyde.
Now its 1 in 36 kids?!?!? In California, its (supposedly) 1 in 22. This is getting ridiculous. What is it going to be next? 1 in 10???
There is something going on here. It can't just be better detection--- there must some kind of change in the environment, causing an actual increase.
I agree with you. It seems ridiculous. But, can I image myself any other way than I am? Then I wouldn't be me. I love my ability to hyperfocus and attention to details. Sometimes I like the fact that I'm not like everyone else. But, I digress...but it is enough to make us wonder...why.
@@autisticjenny I find the 1 in 22 figure (for California) to be crazy. I graduated high school in California in 1984. Looking back, could 1 in 22 of my classmates really have been autistic?
Assuming a 3 to 2 male to female ratio, it would mean that 1 in 14 (or so) of the boys are autistic. I'm autistic. But who were these other boys? Looking back, I simply don't see them.
I think the figure should be around 1 in 100. The CDC used to say 1 in 88, which makes more sense.
@@MrDaydreamer1584 There's no telling. Because a lot of autistic traits aren't noticable to others. So, very likely there were more people struggling than you realize.
I have number 1 to 4, When it comes to number 5 some time ago i have decided that i will try not to mask as possible as i can and was surprised at my job it does not bother anyone 🥲 12:40 it is a nice kitchen 👍
Thanks Tomas! It doesn't look like that right now. LOL I filmed that a few days ago. Honesty....an autistic trait. 😆