AITAH for wanting to divorce my wife because she got a reduction? - Wife Responds
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- čas přidán 22. 04. 2024
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Story: AITAH for wanting to divorce my wife because she got a reduction? - Wife Responds
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Heard just the wife's side yesterday. Somehow, it got even worse. She needs SERIOUS therapy. This is some massive body dysmorphia.
At the same time, I remember from the post of her perspective, that before the surgery, she was at a G cup. For a man who likes women with big chests, having his wife drop to a B would kind of sting.
@@1Scimetar It also seems that the husband just doesn't like body modifications. I'm the same and I was pissed when my (now ex) girlfriend decided to have some cosmetic eyelid surgery without telling me about it. I knew she had has a bit of a complex about her eyelids for a long time. When I came back from a trip, she had already done her surgery and was happy by the results, but I was rather disappointed that she didn't even think about keeping me in the loop. I thought she looked beautiful before and I thought she looked beautiful after, but the thought of the surgery never stopped making me feel somewhat grossed out. It wasn't even about the scars (which weren't visible for the most part), just the knowledge that her face had been changed by cutting up her skin and stitching it up different.
Clearly. And his husband, instead of thinking about s3x, should talk about her trauma and support her and go to therapy. Including him. He cant stand scars? What if she has an accident or had to go on surgery for health issue or getting his child? Will he divorce ? Cheat?
Where can I heard her side of the story.??
@TheGrandy123 😂😂😂😂of course the man is at fault cuz she did something without thinking and now she doesn't want to face the consequences..
There is no way size G are not causing her pain. She would have needed surgery eventually.
At first, I was thinking the guy was superficial, but the more I listened, the more it self-centered the wife sounded. Not once did she consider her relationship or her husband over herself, which is a huge aspect of a relationship.
One thing that really solidifies this is "I knew he had a huge thing about scars, not even liking his own stitches, but I thought it would be fine until we had s.x."
For real she sounded like a rapist for trying to force sex in him.
Not to mention, using savings that were meant to go towards buying a house together. How selfish can you get
I don’t think saying you need to be attracted to a. Partner is superficial
@@hiya8722 no, but typically a breast reduction is used for people with back problems, so getting upset that they went from an H to an E becomes superficial, and that's how he introduced the story. But that intro gave the wrong impression.
@@Maninawig I can see what your saying if it was a H to E but he said she went to A and that’s not superficial even if she didn’t have scars. I like chubby women if my girl loses a lot of weight and becomes skinny for any other reason then health. Then I’m leaving.
After hearing both sides of the story. I think the main issue they have isn't that the wife got the reduction but that she tried to rush things too quickly. Both of them needed time to adjust and op needed time to get over it. Op still tried to spend time with her, cuddle her, etc but just didn't want to face her boobs while having sex for a while.
The wife shouldn’t have gotten the reduction to begin with. She spent their shared income on an expensive cosmetic surgery that made her less attractive to her partner and also triggered his issues regarding scars. Even if the other stuff wasn’t at play, OP would still be right to get a divorce.
@@jamestown8398 I mean, it's her choice and now she is facing the consequences of her actions? Idk if it's right or wrong since it's her own body but either way it had consequences
@@manhwa_life8102you're right , it's her body , but she choose to hide the Op, take money without communicating first, she choose to do this knowingly that he hates scars,he love her body the why it is, and he loves her also very much ....
But now he was to get over it ?
If he did a vasectomy without communicating with her cuz " it's his body" how she should react ?
"But.its not the same thing " we'll, it is , maybe not the same parts but the ideea it's the same
@@samueld3469 I mean yeah she should have communicated. That's why she is facing the consequences of her actions. Plus, even op mentioned that he needed time to adjust to it (somewhere in the video I think I remember-). Even if he couldn't accept it, I wouldn't blame him. As I said, it's her choice to do what she wants with her body but that doesn't mean she shouldn't face the consequences of her actions. If he gor a vasectomy, I would say the same thing, it's totally his choice but he might face the consequences of his actions. I'm not saying she was right at all, just saying she is facing the consequences of her actions
Communication broke down a long time ago. The debt alone would be enough to break things off. I also wonder if it was for another man the husband was the last thing she was thinking of.
It was for herself, as she states in her post
He’s hurt because she basically chose herself and strangers on the street over his input, this is definitely grounds for him to divorce her. It’s the lying for me, I get why both parties lied to one another but it still was unhealthy on both sides, he did sort of try more to help suggest more to stop his lying to try make his wife feel better though so props to him I suppose?
I think the wife deliberately got herself fired out of spite so he ends up getting screwed over with high alimony because she knows he's going to leave her.
yeah women suck men always are better and wise. why do women even bother
Smart girl
Never get married.
boo
Stop judging and take 5 min to think. Having a big breast is hard. You often have them young. As you are only a child, people only see you for that with looks that a child should not see in adults eyes. Friends, family, teachers, bf, gf, managers,...people look at them. You are the big breast girl. You are sexualized. Clearly she talked to him way more often that he says. She said she knew he wont support her.
Instead of thinking about hos d3ck he should have discuss with her about why and the trauma etc. Do you realize how far she went because she cant stand them anymore?? He should have been more clear with her and go to therapy.
What about his disgust about scars?? What if she has an accident or has to go under surgery for health issues or birth??
He also has to go to surgery. And if boobs are so important foe him, she should leave him and dind someone who loves her.
It is not a game "action has consequences". WTF?! We are talking about serious topics. Go and tell her clearly he will be disgusted and will stop f3cking her as usual. Then think of a solution with her and go to the therapy!
Therapy would have been the answers to deal with her body issues before surgery. I wouldn't trust her either after lying and hiding things, especially regarding joint savings and her manipulative behavior.
YEAH i'm actually a little surprised at least a few therapy visits weren't required by the surgeon before allowing her to proceed?? and honestly what irritates me so much about this is there's PLENTY to be ACTUALLY and fairly upset about, namely her hiding it from him and either taking on debt or straight up stealing joint savings, but the way the husband's posts read it's like those are entirely secondary to the fact her body has changed now and he doesn't like it? like it's so weird, even the therapy he talks about kind of centers more on "she majorly changed her body without consulting me" more than "she lied by omission/hid a major thing from me" or "she made a huge financial decision without even mentioning it"
She was a G cup, I’m not surprised that it was easier for her to get it done.
I'm kinda conflicted about it. I also wanted to get a reduction surgery at one point, but was advised to try other means first, like losing weight (I was obese) and yes, therapy as well. I think therapy should have been the first option here as well.
Isn't reduction like, a very problematic procedure that can turn out very badly? Or at least that's what I've heard
@@jairrodriguez7000 any surgery can have major risks, so its not a decision to take lightly
what if your guy got a penis reduction to 1 inch and just said "deal with it"
Bold of you to assume she didn't have a therapist. He had one, not that it made a lick of difference to his possessive sexist way of thinking. You don't get to say what your partner does with her body. That's baseline respect. I'll bet she was regularly catcalled and threatened before the surgery. She had surgery to reduce the amount of harassment she got from men, and the end result is a divorce because her husband was a goddamn toddler. If he likes big tits, he can get implants on his own damn chest!
Think twice my friend. reduced breast doesn't look good and have high risk of post op complications because the surgeon has to suture on adipose tissue. the adipose tissue has low metabolism, store toxin, hormones and obviously energy store. I do empathise with you, cause I lost 55 kg before meeting my partner. two of my cosmetic surgeries was booked and deposit paid for. I looked like a melted candle and needed the surgery. he didnt like it, and had to look after me since I had post op complications for 4 months. I suppose to go have a breast lift, but he made me change my mind, cause at the end, i dont dislike my breast that much, we have se% with the lights on all the time, i barely put clothe on now :). he changed my mind cause made me feel beautiful the way I am, and only his opinion as a man matter to me.
17:07 She writes as she considered getting another surgery. Which also begs the question of where she thinks she going to get the money from? Insurance won’t cover it so is she going to use more of their hard earned and saved money? Woman needs therapy not surgery.
In her post she said something about dipping into Funds that were going towards their future home. Idk if it's like a shared fund. Divorce money maybe 🤷♂️, probably not gonna be much considering how short the marriage was and that they don't have kids.
This stoty is similar to those wanting a tattoo while the partner objects. Then acts like suprised picachus they get dumbed for it meanwhile reddit cheering them on for having ruined the relationship
I can help thinking the mess might have been prevented if she had had some counceling before the surgery. I'm rather suprised that wasn't compusary, and think it probably should have been.
It should be compulsory but like everyone. surgeons just want money I dont think they care that much.
Plastic surgery preys on the vulnerable. Sane people don't want to chop themselves up for no reason.
@@earthstar7534 You're right in the "for no reason" part.
@@velentr vanity isn't a good reason. Anything short of cancer or deformity isn't a good reason. People need to accept how they look.
@@earthstar7534 I see. How do you feel about make-up, dieting and working out?
After hearing the whole thing...i dont blame him and i think divorce is honestly the only option now. She wants to fix it but i dont see how it can be fixed.
(ETA-hit send too soon)
She lied, hid this from him, used money that was being saved for a house, pressured him for more than he was ready to give and got angry when he tried to enforce boundaries or find a compromise, said intentionally hurtful things to him, and only considered therapy/finding a way to fix the relationship *after* she found out he was considering divorce. Plus she got fired during all of this as well.
Could he have done better? Yes. But she's not an innocent victim and it's not as clearcut he's the villain.
Not the Villain, he was still very much in love with her and was willing to make it work, but her lack of responsibility/awareness and poor choice making skills was what ultimately killed the relationship. I get the whole looking like a kid thing cause if she has a baby face it's just off putting especially if your into more mature features(He was still willing to work past it). And if you Google(incognito 🥸) the scars From G~B they are by no means small scars and they look Gnarly freshly stitched and are very noticable while healing(She knew 100% those kind of Scars makes him Squeamish/off put and mentions it in her own reddit post). To him it just ends up being the Sisyphus myth(going nowhere). He held onto a bit of hope that she'd admit to some sorta low self esteem and body dysmorphia and work it out through therapy, was crushed she wanted to double down that nothing was wrong.
Having a preference doesn't make one a villain. Had he straight up dumped her over getting them reduced cause he liked them big, then yeah he would 100% be the AH/villain.
@saltysnoey9213 I agree it doesn't, but people are acting like he's the worst person for even admitting he liked them better before and think he left for that reason only when he left for many reasons.
@@reneeharper84 yup,
1. His personal Squeamishness against surgery scars were ignored. In her own reddit she mentions she 100% knows about it, yet she's frustrated he is not into looking at them.
2. He wasn't mad about the reduction (HBHR), but was mad at her lack of trust in him. He mentioned how is he supposed to trust she won't just keep serious info from him until it ends up blowing in their faces.
3. She dipped into a fund that was meant for their future home, and acquired medical debt, all behind his back.
4. Due to her mental state she ended up being let go from her for refusing to go to work
5. She frustrates them both by only wanting to hear and feel that her decision was valid, and gets mad when he doesn't reassure her decision. In her own reddit post she mentions that he is always Completing her looks, and doing what a great partner would do.
4. She won't admit to Body dysmorphia despite clearly having huge signs of it, but would rather double down. She thought if she went into more medical debt(implants) he would just ignore everything else.
5. She played the guessing game.
Note. If you Google in incognito 🥸, you'll see that Surgery from G~B leaves huge and gnarly scars, and Very noticable when healing. ⚠️ Google at your own risk ⚠️
the wild thing is, i heard the wife's initial post first (there was another one different than the post in the video that she put up after she found husband's post) and thought she was a COMPLETE and total asshole and her husband was 100% faultless, but then in HIS OWN STORY he sounds like a MASSIVE shallow dickhead. like how even, normally people look BETTER in their own stories, how did BOTH of these people make themselves look as bad as possible lol
OK as a woman I do sympathize with the wife
Like she clearly has internalized Body image issues , like believe me, nobody with a healthy self image will Go through a surgery bc teehee felt like it
She stated that she felt trashy and over sexualized Which is a problem sadly a lot of women with that body type face , not mention the fact that she had depression so my hypothesis (because I’m not a psychologist) I think this surgery was a way for her to feel in control or something like that, I don’t know
Although I can sympathize with her, I can’t Say that she’s innocent or she didn’t do anything wrong because the fact that she hide it from her husband shows that she knows he’s not OK with it not to mention The money that she used was supposed to be for a house while also losing her job
Like I could’ve seen this situation going much better with compromise
Like actually going to therapy for a while then deciding After a while also discussing to what size she want the reduction The end resolved will be (like if the husband isn’t happy with a B (which is rude to call childish bro) maybe sizing down D so it’s still Big but not as big as before) like sis ur communication skills are zero
Also, I do not blame the husband for losing attraction it’s not something that he can control , and it’s right of people who they are attracted to Physically , some people do value physical appearance and some people do not and that’s OK just don’t be a dick about it
Like the husband tried to compromise even when he was put in the situation. He tried his best to be understanding, but it wasn’t reciprocated , honestly it’s not fair for the husband or the wife Stay with each other (at least right now) One of them is not attracted to the other and that sucks for both of them
Maybe try giving marriage counseling a shot then decide after that
She cant be trusted. she is irrational and doenst think of anyone other than her self and her own misguided impulses. who in their right damn mind would want to make a family with such an unstable irrational, selfish person? So lets just imagine your husband/boyfriend comes home and says he had a penile reduction of 75% when you thought his size was perfect, now you feel nothing during intimacy and he expects you to look at it and get intimate with it in spite of nasty scars and reduction in enjoyment? All because some women saw his buldge he gets an idea in his head all by himself that reducing it 75% will make him happy and he doesn't care what you say........yeah, you ar a LIAR if you tell me you would be sympathetic to him as you are with the lunatic woman in this story. Therapy cannot fix someone that mentally unstable and out of touch with reality and lacking any sense of their partners considerations before doing something so crazy and permanent and effecting in a relationship
WTF does HE get a say in the size of HER body? Hell no. He can shut the hell up. He's not the one dealing with the street abuse AND the abuse inside the marriage. She's better off without the whiny asshat.
There details that a man could never notice that makes me think the wife’s side is actually the wife
That’s what I was thinking
Play stupid games win stupid prizes.
You're free to do whatever you want but you just accept the consequences of those choices..
“You should just love me regardless of how I look”
Got it, then I’m going to get a giant face tattoo. I don’t care if you don’t find it attractive, you need to learn to love my giant face tattoo or else you’re the problem
She messed up by lying and hiding but at the same time i feel bad for her... Men don't understand how it feels like to be constantly sexualized by creepy guys and be considered a sl*t by women. It's really not flattering to be considered a walking pair of boobs. I had a friend in high school who was very big chested and she constantly heard weird, creepy comments no matter how baggy her shirts were. It doesn't help OPs wife that OP admits his attraction is towards larger breasts and his lack of attraction after the reduction even if it's the scars that turn him off the most. Imho they both need counselling if they want to make it work
I don’t think he has a single thing he should feel bad about.
Attraction to a partner is important to a lot of people. And she let her insecurities ruin his attraction to her. Maybe if she needed it for a reason I can understand
@hiya8722 being given creepy, sexual comments for your chest size and only loved for the giant watermelons doss NOT feel good...
It doesn't seem to me that breast reduction is the real issue. It seems there's something deeper, more like body image issues and self-love issues.
So he does not want her to be happy. Hope she finds someone better.
i feel like in a lot of these relationship issue posts, the main issue is always communication
talk to eachother people, thats the easiest way to share your opinions with eachother
hiding your feelings from eachother because you dont want to hurt someone's feelings will just hurt both of you more in the end
Nta like he said actions have consequences he’s not expected to while the same view of you if you change yourself without talking to him first I would divorce you too 😂
To answer her question, there is no coming back from this. Just take your lumps and move on. Next time, try to be more communicating with your future partner before you decide to use jointly saved funds earmarked for something else to do whatever you want.
Y'all need to get off reddit and start talking TO EACH OTHER. And to a therapist. Seriously, this is why good communication is a necessity for any successful marriage.
She also told him to just get over it as if his feelings don't matter.There's a lot of self centeredness there.
Why? HE obviously doesn't give a rat's ass how she feels. Her own body made her feel unsafe on the street. What's he going to do? Change society so ALL men keep their hands, comments, and dicks to themselves? No. He wants her to suffer so he has funbags to look at during sex. He's disgusting.
Thank god she’s single now , she’ll find better
Well it’s not your fault you are not attracted to her anymore.
I mean it was her decision she is now in debt and I think you should divorce.
As a size H I know that G is not comfortable. I think they need therapy .
This is a very weird situation on the wife’s part. I don’t think the husbands wrong, I don’t think I’d feel wonderful if my partner got massive cosmetic surgery and put himself into huge debt that would put us backwards on buying a house we really wanted.
I think comunication is the key to a healthy relationship.... And I understand the feeling of wanting to change your body to feel comfortoble!!!! The husband seems a bit petronizing (mostly because he talks about his wife as if he was her parent) The ,,fear" of the wife : ,,My husband only stays with me (finds me atractive) as long as I am thick" is understandable but no excuse to exclude him completly from the decision.... and not everyone needs therapy , it depends...
Both are not innocent and should seek their own happiness
I can't wait to get a reduction. One more baby to go then it happens.
This whole thing sounds like a mess. Both persons need counseling. Being strong willed is a beautiful when it works in your favor, but if you're the kind of person that's going to hide stuff and go behind your partner's back when it affects both persons. That is definitely gonna cost some conflicts.
They are both just awful
I feel like they should have had a proper talk before the surgery
No shit sherlock
After hearing both the husband and wifes sides of the story, I think ESH. The husband knew from the start that she had some issues but ignored it and didn't take it seriously, so it shouldn't have come as a surprise to him. Really though, thats the only thing he did wrong. She on the other hand failed to communicate this to him for 4 months, didn't think about how it would affect both of their finances and got upset with him when he didn't want to sleep with her. She actually attempted to force him to sleep with her, and both of them have recounted the manipulation she did. I'm not going to say it wasn't her right to do the surgery because it's her body and obviously she's had issues for years, but she really could have gone about this a better way.
How is he the AH? He literally said she should have gotten therapy for it
Yes, and she knew that he have a problem with scars and telling him to ”man up” isn’t right. He loves her and want to learn to love her new body but forcing him to do so quickly and not agree to wear something that will cover the scars are cruel.
@@justablackscreen9832 I didn't say he's the AH, I said everyone sucks in this situation. The only thing I think he did that was wrong is when they first met and she said she wanted to get a reduction because she felt sexualised he told her it was stupid to do that unless she was in pain. That seems kinda an AH move.
He shut her down the first discussion! Yeah she’s not gonna be forthcoming since then!
@@rice-hero-VS-hungry-monster they had one talk about it and never discussed it again. It would be one thing if she kept bringing it up and he keeps saying it's not a problem but having one talk and five years of nothing (about the topic) means he probably thought she moved on with it. The fact she sprung it on him the way she did and he still accepted her decision, proves he wasn't just dismissing her feelings
Anyone who says he's leaving because of her appearance needs to read the story again. She lied to her husband and essentially forced a change onto him without even discussing it. She also used the money they would have used to buy a house literally on herself. Nowhere did she even consider talking with her own husband about this much less therapy. If you have self esteem issues you talk to someone, not get cosmetic surgery.
The main issues were her feelings, low self-esteem, and inability to effectively communicate. After the surgery, the guy still was sleeping with her. There were a few modifications, but she wasn’t having it.
She demanded him to be turned on like a light. I’m willing to bet, that any post surgery praise would have resulted in more cosmetic surgery.
As for the guy, he should have put his foot down the first time. Let her known that her body type was perfect for him, and the surgery would most likely cause some issue.
As for the whole “ you should love me “ nonsense, he should been honest. If she gained an enormous amount of weight and refuse to implement health lifestyle changes, that a deal breaker. The same could be said if OP lost his job, or stopped being fit, that would cause relations issues.
People need to stop watching Hollywood movies and reading magazines, they give you nothing but bad information.
My god both of them are AH. He is only cares about looks and the wife has serious issues with herself. They both need therapy
Crazy
Weird because I read the wife's first and didn't agree with her due to the underhanded way she did the surgery in the first place and my husband agreed. She knew he liked curves and he had a thing about scars what did she expect....
That fact that she learned about the divorce from Reddit, what an AH. Op has the right to be angry, and all of that but tell your wife you want a divorce. You have already spoken to a lawyer….blind siding your wife
What? Her finding out from reddit was a genuine accident, and talking to your lawyer first is how things should be. I don't see what he did wrong here considering he was probably just waiting for the best timing.
Wow, making a big decision without telling the other person?!! So crazy!! How could he!!
He's not even fully sure it wasn't definite during that time
@@franciscoflamenco all of that is fine….tell your wife before you post it online.
@@sobeitone3336 that makes no sense. The question here would be whether to share it online or not. The timing between sharing something personal online anonymously and telling that to the person in question is irrelevant.
If your position was that people shouldn't share these things with Reddit, even anonymously, then I can see your point and kind of agree with it, albeit I wouldn't fault people for seeking advice and or support in that manner. But if you're fine with the sharing then it makes no sense to me to complain about the timing.
I want them to be able to improve, however at the same time the wife needs to go away. for like a month. Give the relationship a soft or hard reset and try to start from the ground up. Otherwise she has done nothing but doctor-assisted on the relationship.
The marriage is over and the husband should just cut his losses.
It’s obvious that he loved his wife but a cosmetic surgery is a very big change she didn’t do it to take away a scar or for health but for someone else.
He is right to not trust her as she has shown that she only care about herself and can’t compromise at all as he really tries to make it work but she just expects him to be 100% fine with it as if she haven’t changed her looks at all.
Who expects a person who gets ill by the sight of scares to look at them and expect the person to be turned on by them. He tried and asked for time to become comfortable with them but she refused so that shows that they are not compatible at all as she doesn’t value his feelings or thoughts
Honestly, i don't believe it's really wife's post. Def repeating og post without any additional information. And G cup is definitely backpain category, even if she didn't realise it, after surgery she would.
Girl just have some self respect and move on. You know you're beautiful and you'll find a real man in no time. We all (women) know there's no way G cup hurts. You're just 29. It may get even worse in your 40s.
This is the stupidest story I've heard in a while
Your marriage is over dear😮
That is so messed up. You don’t find your wife attractive or pretty because she doesn’t have big boobs. That’s really effed up
They're both AH in their own right, OP isn't ready for a long term relationship if he cant handle a woman going down a few cup sizes, clearly only considers looks. Told reddit about a divorce bfore his wife. Wife isn't trustworthy + needs therapy.
The wife's story is not her talking. Its 100% the husband.
Fr
I hope OP follows through with the divorce, keeps the cat, and gets a clean break.
His wife is extremely selfish and unreliable, and she deserves to spend the rest of her life with the knowledge that she’s 100% to blame for the breakdown of her marriage.
so she let others dictate how her entire life turned out, and ruined her marriage over it. women and accountabillity, man.... she fucked up and then she blames him
I hope the husband divorces her. She's shown she is not trustworthy
They never should have married. Also, he called her breasts, which are now a d "small" that is still above average in size, and let me tell you it is painful.
When you have breasts bigger than a D, they start weighing a lot.
Attach 5 - 7 pounds to hang from your chest all day every day for a week. Tell me how your shoulders and chest feel.
Also, when you have breasts that big, you will have men consistently "accidently" brushing against you, and if you speak up, you are called "overly sensitive", "toxic", "trying to cause comflict", "your so big there and it is impossible to avoid in a crowd", and my favorite "why do you always cross your arms over your breasts your insinuating your going to be groped".
I doubt it was just looks thrown her way. That is why they never should have married. She needed that surgery to feel comfortable and safe, and he needed her to look the same as when they married.
The discussion that took place before marriage when she expressed that feeling and he dismissed it, she should have left him, because what they want in life is different, and both of them deserve to feel comfortable.
@@key14fulI think he said b cup not d
Well, the wife needs a husband who LOVES! For who she is, not her body. He sounds like a creep, who only likes big chested wemon only ew
@@key14fulthe problem for him is not her chest size is her lack of accountability and her rash decision making. The root of.her problem is the lack of self esteem and the reluctance of resolve it. After her procedure he told her several options for them to have sex. But it was her way or the high way
YTA
she said that she wanted a reduction at the beginning of the relationship, you chose to stay despite that
And he told her she was beautiful as she was and she agreed. She had no right to steal THEIR savings later down the line to do it.
yikes
Somebody didn’t finish the story
Her being self conscious about her boobs led to all this don’t blame yourself. How can you love another person if you can’t love yourself?
glancings fine but when they staring at you like that dog lookn up at your plate at that (thanks to men) has been overly hypersexualized, YES it makes you uncomfortable. its not one or two men either, its a lot. ive thought about it. you only love her as a sexual object i hope she finds a less judgemental man wholl love her. also grow up on the scars thing. everyone has them.
Wife's story definitely reads like the crazed husband lying about what happened ngl
No it doesn’t. Just say you don’t want the wife to be in the wrong in all this.
@@natetsh lmao read the og post troglodyte not everything is a gender issue the writer mysteriously used the same language and spelt the same words wrong
No, it doesn’t. The wife took money they were saving for a house and didn’t care at all about what he wanted. When he made a boundary she decided to walk all over it to force him to like it. She sounds incredibly selfish and now has to live with the consequences
I just heard it before this one, it sounds EXACTLY the same as this story.
Two of them are crazy.
I honestly can't with thos guy. All his attraction was related to breast size? Alse the scar is pretty tame and as time goes by it's almost unnoticeable. Wife has some serious body issues, and this guy can only focus on attractiveness??? Body issues IS a valid reason as medical like back pain. Also, the description of how scars make him disgusted made ME disgusted.
I guess the OP doesn't understand that his wife is allowed to make unilateral decisions about her own body. They really do need to get a divorce.
Did we hear different stories? Because it seemed to me like he was very clear that he understood that part.
Brother she put them into debt.. and she got scared up very bad both them wrong but she worse
@@CesarDenver What did he do wrong?
@@franciscoflamenco am talking about the girl
@@CesarDenver You said both of them were wrong but nvm.
Shallow is correct.
YTA. Go to therapy 😅 you also brought this to yourself. She told you before. You should have told her clearly "if you do a réduction you will disgust me and i will hate look at you bust". Cause/consequence game?! It is not a teen. It is not a game. It is not a point to prove. Clearly it was a BIG issue for your wife if she went as far as getting a surgery. And clearly she didnt trust you enough to talk about it. It seems that you didnt take her and her issue seriously in the past. Instead of playing this game, you should have thought WITH her about this issue (breast trauma for her) and maybe helpt her with it and maybe adviced her to go to therapy. But when she says, i feel bad with it, you thought 1st about s3x instead of "wow it should really be a suffering for her. Let s discuss and understand and support her throught that and find a common ground". Having a big braist is very traumatising for a woman. When you are still a child (but with a woman-looking body), you have adults looking at your body with not good intentions. Children, parents, teachers, fathers, brothers, friends,...you feel dirty. You are still a child in your head. people not looking at you but at your breast etc. Boyfriends only there for that. It is very hard to be always sexualized. It is not only about how you look as an adult but all the traumas you have due to that. Stop thinking of your d3ck and go talk to her and her traumas. Talk to her and both go to therapy. You also have issues. What if you got children and she goes on surgery for that?. Or had to get surgery due to health issues?! Will you divorce? Cheat? Come on!! Act as an adult and a husband. Go talk to her and both go to therapy.
Honestly it sounds like this guy isnt build for long term relationships and should have stuck to sleeping around, scars and body changes are a part of life. She shouldn't have gotten with him if she knew he was like this and if she wanted to change her body.
Did you miss the part where she didn't allow him to process and get used to it at his pace? Where she was practically forcing him to look when she knew he had a problem with them?
She's the one that isn't fit for long term relationship if she cannot even be empathetic to her husband, she made every choice by herself, hell she practically stole from him when she took the money for the surgery from their savings.
There's a big difference between that happening naturally and doing it to yourself. If you want to change yourself because you're self conscious you get therapy not essentially use money behind your spouses back and forcing things upon them.
Well you couldn't force attraction on yourself or someone else so it's not really a him issue
Apart from this you've got her
- lying
- hiding
- bringing debt
- forcing him to sleep (which alone should be enough to end up in jail if you reverse roles)
- refusing compromise
- being inconsiderate and insensitive
the issue with her scars and reduced size was mostly within the bedroom.
@@vaxel0068 based on his first post he was back peddling.
This isn't his wife for sure. It's the same BS he is spouting the whole time... she needs to get out of there anf quick...
Okay look, wife should have told him about the surgery but she doesn’t need to justify why she did it. Therapy while being a great resource can’t help with everything. So should he be upset that she didn’t tell him? Yeah, yeah he should but she shouldn’t have to justify it and I believe that the only reason she thinks she regrets this decision is because of his response. Yes he should be able to be comfortable but she should feel comfortable to.
They're so immature.
Nta Ops wife isn't honest with her he should leave her coz she can't be trusted eith important stuff coz she's easily influenced and that's a genuine issue
She's easily influenced? What kind of moron are you? Curvy women *start* getting threatened and abused at about the age of 11. She's not influenced, she's fucking tired of being stalked, and catcalled and groped everywhere she goes because assholes like her husband don't see her as a person, they only see the rack. She told him she was getting a reduction before they got married and he decided to ignore her decision and then be a jerk when she actually did it. HER SAFETY and HER COMFORT in HER BODY are way more important than his fetish. He's the asshole.
He talked for 10 minutes but never acknowledged it she did it cz she felt bad or conscious, all he thinks it's her selfishness, she ruined the relationship. This man never once thought from her point of view. He made her feel bad about her body and then blame her when she felt bad
Irony is in the end he successfully manipulated her to think that she doesn’t like the surgery, hate it, hate her body!! Obviously she would, you end her marriage, divorcing her, create a toxic environment, said she looks like a child obviously now she's not gonna love something she wanted!! Congratulations he won!
At one note I'm happy they are divorcing She's gonna out of it and start therapy, may she learn to love her body above her b00bs and find a better man who doesn’t start "seeing" all the problems after her breast reduction surgery
Similar to a lot of trans stories.
Man needs to grow a pair
More like SHE needs to grow a pair.
Exactly! Embrace your new flat chested zippertit wife!!
... and divorce her.
and change what he's attracted to? you are a right imbecile if thats your belief.
@@viking_wolfWell she did and got rid of them.
Yes, big AH.
Didn’t you listen to the story? It’s not just that she got a breast reduction.
OP kinda the A hole. He should have told her that he found her very attractive. That her body type was perfect for him. Not to mention, that scars are something that psych him out.
Maybe suggesting couple therapy before the surgery, so they effectively communicate each other feeling.
As the for wife, she a pain in the ass. She gaslighting him, and shaming him. Not to mention going into debt , and disregarding the common goal of buying a house.
Some people make impulse decisions like getting cosmetic surgery. I known people that had an addiction to surgery.
One of hardest people to be in a relationship, is a person with low self-esteem. You have to constantly pump them up. If they have a bad day, you will held responsible.
West has so fu ed views of love ......not that wife is right but I mean if husband decided to drive while being drunk ( actions have consequences) and had scars andow sex drive later on after recovery......yeah it is not planned and all like the wife did but the financial trouble and attraction factor will come in play in this situation as well.....again wife is not right but husband is not all right as well wife is all wrong though........no matter what when u love someone u love everything..........if someone else started to do the same things like the person you love and if you fall in love with the other person as well then u don't know love and so it goes for sizes and all .........Hubby wants a divorce on basis of Deceit and illogical management of finances understandable but if the sole motive is not attracted to her because of surgery then stay away because in future if kids are there and all if cancer happens God forbid .......then again u will not feel attracted....if attraction is not there because when u look at her and u get angry because she didn't consult u then it is amazing if just because u don't like the scars or the size then Not😅😅😅😅.....hope u understand if op reads and other people who might read