Like A Game Of 'Risk' - NATO Countries Mobilize As Biden Mulls Sending Troops To Ukraine

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  • čas přidán 20. 05. 2024
  • Russia's buildup of troops on the Ukraine border has NATO countries scrambling their fighter planes and President Biden considering the use of ground troops. #Colbert #Comedy #Monologue
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Komentáře • 2,2K

  • @gamepapa1211
    @gamepapa1211 Před 2 lety +53

    "Crab Eating Macaque" is also the Secret Service's codename for Eric.

    • @kingjamos2422
      @kingjamos2422 Před 2 lety +2

      Shit. And all of this time I thought it was "Dung Beatle"..

    • @cryptnick_
      @cryptnick_ Před 2 lety +2

      "Crap Spewing Macaque" would have a nice ring to it.

    • @A0A4ful
      @A0A4ful Před 2 lety +1

      Crab Shooting Macaque-
      Wait!- Crabs are not endangered yet!

    • @gamepapa1211
      @gamepapa1211 Před 2 lety

      @gelas lawas reported for porn.

    • @julie804
      @julie804 Před 2 lety

      You win the Internet😆

  • @LeandroVelez7
    @LeandroVelez7 Před 2 lety +268

    We still have a pro Russian leader in the Senate.
    A he’s a little Mitch.

    • @jeschinstad
      @jeschinstad Před 2 lety +4

      I thought Chuck Schumer was leader of the Senate now?

    • @asheer9114
      @asheer9114 Před 2 lety +18

      @@jeschinstad Thanks to two D. I. N. Os (Manchin, Sinema) Moscow Mitch still pulls the strings in the Senate... 🤬

    • @cleatusbarncoat8642
      @cleatusbarncoat8642 Před 2 lety +4

      Save America: Spike Moscow Mitch’s moscow mule with something really bad. Something radioactive, KGB bad.

    • @dr.g3860
      @dr.g3860 Před 2 lety +5

      @@jeschinstad Chuck Schumer is the majority leader, Moscow Mitch is the minority leader.

    • @daghostxxx1797
      @daghostxxx1797 Před 2 lety +5

      @@dr.g3860 The point was/is, that with Machin & Sinema still claiming to be democrats but voting otherwise, the voting power still goes Republican......so, who's the majority leader ?

  • @aderi31415
    @aderi31415 Před 2 lety +10

    Here's what a "crisis" might look like. I work in a hospital lab. In our virology section, the people that do the covid testing, all but one person is out with covid. We still have three open ICU beds but we don't have nurses to staff them so we're on divert status. So is every hospital in the city. This is exhausting.

  • @bl5752
    @bl5752 Před 2 lety +72

    I want the elderly poll worker to be a recuring character so bad. 😂

  • @cynthiahofer2903
    @cynthiahofer2903 Před 2 lety +459

    So there is definitely a problem. Workers should not have to work when they are sick. Period.

    • @andrewharper1609
      @andrewharper1609 Před 2 lety +11

      Henry Ford wouldn't have agreed with you. He had a hospital for Ford workers where he gave them work they could do to 'help take their mind off it'.

    • @salyluz6535
      @salyluz6535 Před 2 lety +21

      Lovely idea! But in over 30 years of working, I’ve never yet had one job where I could stay home when I was sick- evidently that’s a luxury available only to the wealthy, or people with more letters after their names.

    • @FallenPhoenix86
      @FallenPhoenix86 Před 2 lety +32

      @@salyluz6535
      Its really not, its basic common sense for employers to provide sick leave. If staff come in sick they risk getting everyone else sick so productivity goes down. Better to lose one person than 20.

    • @salyluz6535
      @salyluz6535 Před 2 lety +39

      @PhoenixSc: Don’t misunderstand me, I’m all for sick leave!! It’s just that it’s not an option for Millions and millions of US employees. That should change!!

    • @alalalala57
      @alalalala57 Před 2 lety +1

      @@andrewharper1609 Lol, like companies these days have that at least.

  • @cicichambers3887
    @cicichambers3887 Před 2 lety +633

    Nurses aren’t the only staff, it’s takes all staff not just nurses and docs. Gratitude to all.

    • @slcpunk2740
      @slcpunk2740 Před 2 lety +7

      Na uh, those other staff are like 100 monkeys that you have to chase around the hospital while you're trying to nurse. They find them in people's beds, stealing their generic jello.

    • @YouTubeCensorsEverything
      @YouTubeCensorsEverything Před 2 lety +33

      Lab techs. MVPs of medical science.

    • @gadabraham7855
      @gadabraham7855 Před 2 lety +29

      Nurses aren’t the only staff, but they have been treated horribly by hospital administrators.

    • @amberts180
      @amberts180 Před 2 lety +18

      Amen! Thanks to all. Specialists, support staff, and technicians are also super critical.

    • @Beruthiel45
      @Beruthiel45 Před 2 lety +19

      @Cony Budding Your logic chip has malfunctioned. Please return to Bay OMG for a replacement.

  • @rneumeye
    @rneumeye Před 2 lety +206

    Hot take: "Elderly poll worker/your grandmother trying to use social media" is Stephen Colbert's best character. 👵🏼
    The glasses on the edge of the nose and voice are just flawless. 😌🏆

    • @c.h.5389
      @c.h.5389 Před 2 lety +18

      I think his Bernie Sanders impression about the lean cut of pastrami from Zabar's, and the two soups, etc. were spot-on, one of his best, and funniest..

    • @gamepapa1211
      @gamepapa1211 Před 2 lety +10

      @@c.h.5389 "Where's my soup!?" never failed to get a laugh out of me.

    • @ivoivanusa1387
      @ivoivanusa1387 Před 2 lety

      He is a democrat right? Because blind man can see Trump was waay better than Biden 😂

    • @vtrbswarmachine
      @vtrbswarmachine Před 2 lety +1

      It's too much. The reality is perfect yet it's really fucked up. Can't legit can't try to talk about anything. With my own family.

  • @Bees123Knees
    @Bees123Knees Před 2 lety +11

    Laughter is the best medicine. Thanks Stephen and crew.

  • @naturenuggets4613
    @naturenuggets4613 Před 2 lety +364

    Last Saturday my wife and we’re in a shop in Mount Dora Fl we overheard people talking about how the election was “stolen” and shop owner said “don’t worry because the military will step in next time!” Scary 😟

    • @AntFarm-ih1wf
      @AntFarm-ih1wf Před 2 lety +11

      @@Balletified Whats in Mount Dora that would make it questionable??

    • @joshrabatin
      @joshrabatin Před 2 lety +9

      Dress rehearsal

    • @mmkay6638
      @mmkay6638 Před 2 lety +43

      Yeah those people are basically narcing on themselves...they live shameless now and will be made fun of for it in the future

    • @starshake8998
      @starshake8998 Před 2 lety +17

      I think I would have interjected, "Dude! That is NOT reassuring!"

    • @Surge1077
      @Surge1077 Před 2 lety +30

      Were they talking about the military or DeSatan's planned election police farce?

  • @allycat2836
    @allycat2836 Před 2 lety +229

    Watching Stephen's monolgue reminds me I'm not the only sane person left in this world lol. Sometimes it just seems like it.

    • @nugboy420
      @nugboy420 Před 2 lety +19

      There’s still a few of us left here. Running to our ritual like monologues*

    • @gamepapa1211
      @gamepapa1211 Před 2 lety +18

      You're not alone, sistah. Remember that.

    • @cybercat29
      @cybercat29 Před 2 lety +17

      You are not alone and there are many sane people here in Canada ❤🇨🇦

    • @chegemuiruri939
      @chegemuiruri939 Před 2 lety +1

      Many sane in Kenya 👋

    • @stinkytits6025
      @stinkytits6025 Před 2 lety +1

      Hahahahahahahahaha

  • @PrairieMom
    @PrairieMom Před 2 lety +17

    Oh my gosh that impression Stephen did of the elderly poll worker!!!! I have worked at many elections in Canada and can attest to the fact that this impression is very accurate! I nearly spat out my morning coffee on the laptop screen. (video is too funny, should come with warning).

    • @QUICKBOOKS1
      @QUICKBOOKS1 Před 2 lety

      I have learned, the hard way, to put my coffee to the side! And yes, I heard the Accent, too!

    • @christinamartin9049
      @christinamartin9049 Před 2 lety

      Stephen is literally the funniest person on the planet, sadly he's a white privileged cis Jewish man. If he were a black trans individual I'd value his opinion a lot more.
      But yeah, he is funny.

    • @hb4196
      @hb4196 Před 2 lety

      @@christinamartin9049 Stephen is not Jewish; he was raised Catholic and has mostly Irish background. And yes he is funny and it doesn't matter WHAT his background is; nothing sad about it. Talent is talent.

    • @christinamartin9049
      @christinamartin9049 Před 2 lety

      @@hb4196 If race and beliefs didn't matter why do we have our white privileged president picking a token black woman as a new court justice based on such matters?
      Get woke or gtfo

    • @christinamartin9049
      @christinamartin9049 Před 2 lety

      @@hb4196 Look up White Fragility by Robin DeAngelo then reply back okay?

  • @mariaaita77
    @mariaaita77 Před 2 lety +6

    He is so funny 🤣🤣 as a nurse I just can’t stop laughing 😂
    Way to go Stephen!! 🙏🏻

  • @rankat1841
    @rankat1841 Před 2 lety +441

    We had a nut job enter our level 1 trauma hospital yesterday saying she was COVID positive and she was here to "infect everybody".
    We offered psyche help but she refused. We kicked her out. 👍

    • @shahnulislam9897
      @shahnulislam9897 Před 2 lety +35

      They have a right to be stoopid and you have the right to exist

    • @shawnnewell4541
      @shawnnewell4541 Před 2 lety +111

      My sincerest condolences. You guys don't need that. You work too hard already. Thank you for all you do.

    • @fenrisunchained1926
      @fenrisunchained1926 Před 2 lety +2

      No you didn't and you can never prove it. Stop messing with people.

    • @shahnulislam9897
      @shahnulislam9897 Před 2 lety +54

      @Fenris Unchained lol You must be the one guy in the world who hides his head in the sand when there's trouble... please entertain me more

    • @dekai7992
      @dekai7992 Před 2 lety +59

      @@shahnulislam9897 It becomes a problem when their stupidity endangers the wellbeing of others.

  • @NewMessage
    @NewMessage Před 2 lety +93

    We're surprised? They actually DID seize mail sorting machines and drop-boxes. I mean, sheesh!

    • @margo3367
      @margo3367 Před 2 lety +2

      Not the military.

    • @Ann-snowshoeingonEnceladus
      @Ann-snowshoeingonEnceladus Před 2 lety +1

      Yep, and DeJoy should be removed, and charged with destruction of government property asap.

    • @johndododoe1411
      @johndododoe1411 Před 2 lety +1

      @@Ann-snowshoeingonEnceladus Wait, he hasn't been replaced yet?

    • @maxdoubt5219
      @maxdoubt5219 Před 2 lety +1

      Yeah, NM. Par for the course!

    • @Ann-snowshoeingonEnceladus
      @Ann-snowshoeingonEnceladus Před 2 lety +1

      @@johndododoe1411 Nope, only the board of governors that appointed DeJoy can fire him. But the citizens can demand that he resign; there's a petition through Citizens United we can all sign.

  • @catmom1322
    @catmom1322 Před 2 lety +55

    I was terrified by Dorothy's flying monkeys.
    On another note. Stephen playing the Fighting Irish was stunning!
    I love Jon Baptiste.
    And, I have infinite empathy for my colleagues still working in hospitals, where care is no longer practiced.

    • @squamish4244
      @squamish4244 Před 2 lety

      The hospitals are doing their best in the worst scenario hospitals have faced in 100 years, and today there's a lot more we try and do for people because we can do a lot more. What should they do better, considering the circumstances?

    • @queensrule4450
      @queensrule4450 Před 2 lety +1

      One would suggest a review of your last sentence. It does not appear to say what you likely believe it to say.

  • @jackl4laughs
    @jackl4laughs Před 2 lety +71

    Thank you to all the medical workers still being overworked because of the pandemic, I for one didn't forget you and I wanted to say thank you.

    • @user-wn6vu5wm7t
      @user-wn6vu5wm7t Před 2 lety

      They are overworked because much of the staff was fired for refusing the vaccine.

    • @angeiomnito
      @angeiomnito Před 2 lety +2

      No, they're overworked because the healthcare system was already acting with a shortage of providers stressing the system and then the pandemic increased the volume and acuity of patients while knocking out a bunch of the limited staff they did have. So hospitals reached out desperately for travel provider contracts that pay employees way more than typical employment. Which caused even more providers to leave their hospitals to get that extra money and put those who remained in an even worse situation while driving up hospital costs. And so I get to watch my RN wife come home defeated each shift after carrying an overcrowded ER worth of problems on her shoulders with 90+ admitted patients waiting for hospital rooms or ICU beds and new patients waiting for hours in the waiting room because they have no one available to treat them. Saying thank you like Jack is the least we can do for them as they receive verbal, mental, emotional, and often even physical abuse on a daily basis. So thank you for being appreciative and supportive.

    • @ferox965
      @ferox965 Před 2 lety

      @@user-wn6vu5wm7t As they should have been.

  • @terrasilvershade5678
    @terrasilvershade5678 Před 2 lety +65

    As an unfortunate resident of Florida, I love when he mentions how much of a dumpster fire it is down here. Send help and an industrial sized container of hand sanitizer I can swim in after going to the grocery

    • @gamepapa1211
      @gamepapa1211 Před 2 lety +6

      Hang in there, sistah. There aren't many well-reasoned folks in Florida but they do exist. Remember that you're not alone and that the majority of the country thinks the same way as you do. You just happen to live in the area where all the minorities flocked to.

    • @UTubekookdetector
      @UTubekookdetector Před 2 lety +2

      @TERRA: Several states in the Northeast (NY, NJ, CT, MA, DC, RI) have much higher death rates & much more unemployment (see the 1st link in my channel banner where I cover this in great detail) than the states that never had a shelter in place order (IA, ND, SD, UT, WY, NE, AR). Where do you get your info from? Fake news Colbert? In addition, the survival rate for the 49 and under group is ~99.9014% & for the 17 and under group it is >99.999%. So, if you are old & overweight, go get the COVID shot (it is not a vaccine, when was the last time you got a polio booster), it's a case of risk vs. reward & folks under 50 like myself who are totally healthy need not get the COVID shot.
      Stop reading bumper stickers & maybe pick up a book

    • @ZakTheRipper18
      @ZakTheRipper18 Před 2 lety +9

      @@UTubekookdetector Excuse me, doctor--but how does the fact that a particular vaccine doesn't last forever, requiring boosters, make it not a vaccine? That premise is fallacious.

    • @brandonm949
      @brandonm949 Před 2 lety +1

      @@UTubekookdetector But most of the deaths in the Northeast happened at the beginning of the pandemic when we sucked at treating it. They did better over time. States like Mississippi and Alabama (the top 2 states in deaths per capita) got worse over time. They peaked after we learned how to handle Covid. Their high rates are purely because people refused to take precautions.
      And I got a DTaP booster in 2017. It requires a booster every 10 years, and the initial vaccination requires 5 doses over 4 years. Is DTaP not a vaccine? Or are you just starting at "Covid vaccine bad" and making up your logic from there?

    • @backcountrynomad5109
      @backcountrynomad5109 Před 2 lety +3

      @@UTubekookdetector lol. NY, alone, has a larger population than IA, ND, SD, UT, WY combined. Please stop posting this nonsense. You're embarrassing your parent.

  • @akshatsiuuu
    @akshatsiuuu Před 2 lety +406

    I wait for the Colbert's monologue everyday

    • @relaxursouls
      @relaxursouls Před 2 lety +10

      Same literally watch it before sleep… aaaahhh love night terrors

    • @roxy6883
      @roxy6883 Před 2 lety +9

      It is the highlight of my day! 👏

    • @akshatsiuuu
      @akshatsiuuu Před 2 lety +13

      It's literally the best thing on the internet ❤️

    • @evelyneparisien8483
      @evelyneparisien8483 Před 2 lety +8

      Me too.

    • @stephaniec9539
      @stephaniec9539 Před 2 lety +8

      I normally like it with my morning coffee but couldn't wait

  • @KC-603
    @KC-603 Před 2 lety +2

    Thank you for the laughs Steven!

  • @theverhohnepeople8934
    @theverhohnepeople8934 Před 2 lety +62

    Brilliant acting on that senior with a binder. As a volunteer on election days, had to watch it twice. 😘

  • @rv8-m948
    @rv8-m948 Před 2 lety +80

    Given the insanity, or should I say Hannity, of our times, it really helps to have blistering satire to help us through the night.

    • @yvo4497
      @yvo4497 Před 2 lety +4

      Lol, the InHannity of our times, that is priceless!🥰

    • @roni6215
      @roni6215 Před 2 lety +1

      @@yvo4497 At least, late night satire has not been outlawed, yet !

  • @lizzyyc6594
    @lizzyyc6594 Před 2 lety +140

    Haha “ we just got a rid of our pro Russian leader and he was a disaster”

    • @chasthanhburns123
      @chasthanhburns123 Před 2 lety

      NUKE THE COMMIES!

    • @lenawagenfuehr53
      @lenawagenfuehr53 Před 2 lety

      It's been done before! Ukraine had a revolution in 2005, the Orange Revolution. After a few years, they decided the politicians they pinned their hopes on were corrupt, and promptly elected the pro Russian candidates they were initially grumbling about.

    • @jaybo137
      @jaybo137 Před 2 lety

      Lmao. Yeah, because we're in great shape now. Bidens build back better has been a complete success.

    • @jaybo137
      @jaybo137 Před 2 lety +5

      @Cony Budding lol. Gee. That's quite the fantasy you have built up in your head.

    • @antonina8337
      @antonina8337 Před 2 lety +1

      ​@@lenawagenfuehr53as a Ukrainian, I can say the geographical factor played a major role in that presidential election. Tymoshenko, the candidate who lost, was favoured in western and central parts of country, and also among foreign voters all across the world. Yanukovych, the pro-Russian one, was favoured in eastern parts, he made lots of promises to voters there. Those regions had larger population than other parts of Ukraine, which was enough for 3,5% difference in results

  • @DailySource
    @DailySource Před 2 lety +31

    Stephen is a national gem. I am so glad he is the host of a show.

  • @sealyoness
    @sealyoness Před 2 lety +27

    Stephen's 'A distance of 6 feet' reminds me of how our hospitals handled workers injured on the job... 'light duty' is fine if you injured your knee and have a desk job. If you work direct care, however, there is no 'light duty'.

    • @bunzeebear2973
      @bunzeebear2973 Před 2 lety

      There is light duty in direct care in Rehab and in the last section where you are just using a bed and are not "hooked up" or medicated anymore (I am not certain of the name of that section but basically they are "waiting for you to die" cause they have used all the options and NONE OF THEM WORKED. Opposite of a maternity ward. I did not get to ask what ward it was as no one was there.(maybe out for coffee?)

  • @retired4365
    @retired4365 Před 2 lety +129

    The writers are on point. Thanks for those laughs.

  • @debi1451
    @debi1451 Před 2 lety +40

    The Man with the yellow hat part had me rolling!. Love you Stephen.

  • @calinasagilitypartner4444

    "Everything is a crisis now! ... the green M&M is slightly less sexy! How am I supposed to eat a candy I don't want to bone." Tucker Carlson is extremely angry about M&Mrs he needs help.

    • @poietes7337
      @poietes7337 Před 2 lety

      Good ol" Tucker. We can always count on him to focus on the most ridiculous element at play.

  • @paulinetaylor451
    @paulinetaylor451 Před 2 lety +5

    "Hatred and Fear blind us
    We no longer see each other
    We only see the faces of monsters,
    and that gives us the courage to destroy each other."
    Thich Nhat Hanh, Buddhist master and teacher and beautiful leader and soul, who passed away this week, aged 95. May we all see the love in each other. I am you and you are me. We are one.

  • @xmen9916
    @xmen9916 Před 2 lety +48

    This is crazy how is he allowed to run for office again? This is insane!!

    • @jakemcnulty
      @jakemcnulty Před 2 lety +13

      Which also doesn’t make sense, because I’m pretty sure domestic terrorists would be disqualified from being able to run for any kind office

    • @jstnxprsn
      @jstnxprsn Před 2 lety +2

      He's not.
      Amendment 14 Section 3

    • @jstnxprsn
      @jstnxprsn Před 2 lety

      @@jakemcnulty See my response to the comment.

    • @chrisdevon9467
      @chrisdevon9467 Před 2 lety +1

      LETS GO BRANDON

    • @paulklp8262
      @paulklp8262 Před 2 lety +1

      @@chrisdevon9467 Brandon's pretty cool isn't he? 😎

  • @spaceman9599
    @spaceman9599 Před 2 lety +60

    I see that "12 monkeys" is also subject to inflation. Fortunately, they did not fly out of a butt

  • @gamesnstuff657
    @gamesnstuff657 Před 2 lety +29

    Remember when Romney said that Russia was our biggest geopolitical foe and he was laughed out of the room? How time makes fools of us all.

    • @save_theworld
      @save_theworld Před 2 lety +2

      Don't look for trouble where there's none. Your biggest for is right in the US government

    • @LPnerd
      @LPnerd Před 2 lety +1

      He wasn't laughed out of the room, he was told environmental issues was first. everyone knows Russia is a huge threat, everyone BUT Trump.

    • @PadraigTomas
      @PadraigTomas Před 2 lety

      It is still a joke.

    • @vpervaccino2775
      @vpervaccino2775 Před 2 lety

      @@LPnerd it s lovely how us people still lives in the 80's cold war

    • @oscardzhaugashtiev9573
      @oscardzhaugashtiev9573 Před 2 lety

      Russian's never did something bad for you, Americans mother lovers. But you...

  • @Phantom9252
    @Phantom9252 Před 2 lety +21

    As a production assistant who is trained in sound I can tell you, yep, someone in that control room quit. Lmfao.

    • @patientzero5685
      @patientzero5685 Před 2 lety

      Lol. I don’t have at sound experience but was still thinking the same!

    • @eric2500
      @eric2500 Před 2 lety

      It's a great sound though. Did they do a difficult but amazing job processing it?

    • @Phantom9252
      @Phantom9252 Před 2 lety +1

      @@eric2500 basically unless Colbert was wearing two mics, one for voice one for nat sound (the sound of hitting the pot) then whoever was doing audio would need lightning fast reflexes so that the pot noise wouldn't blow out the mic, since it was so much louder than his voice. But if he was wearing two mics they could just set one mic to his voice and one mic to the pot noise & mute the voice mic whenever Colbert moved to hit the pot, as it's faster to push a button than move a slider.

  • @BaMenace
    @BaMenace Před 2 lety +19

    10:10 "someone just quit in the control room..."
    Maybe they could get a job as a nurse!🤣😂

  • @gamepapa1211
    @gamepapa1211 Před 2 lety +138

    Man, Florida is like that one guy who says "Yes" to everything even when the offers were like "Would you like to kiss an alligator?" or "Hey can I stab you real quick?"

    • @jayluck8047
      @jayluck8047 Před 2 lety +11

      @Cony Budding - Swing an’ a miss. WTF dude?

    • @YukonBloamie
      @YukonBloamie Před 2 lety

      I just watched a beloved Netflix movie "Don't Look Up", We should probably just nuke the Russians and Chinese rather than let the astroid do it.

    • @YukonBloamie
      @YukonBloamie Před 2 lety

      @@jayluck8047 eschatology is not a fringe ideology, dude

    • @PuppetXeno
      @PuppetXeno Před 2 lety +9

      @@jayluck8047 that's the next level of the Russian troll farms at work. Pro-war opinionating, increase an outcry for violent military action.
      Sane people understand that war itself is a Loss situation, only causing misery, death, destruction for all parties involved. The Russian troops on the border of Ukraine understand that too. Very few are actually eager to fight - morale is incredibly low. The iron grip will send them forward, but modern information age gives them so much more outlook on life than dying from wound infections in a trench for a cause they know is not going to help them or their families forward in any capacity...

    • @maxquimby4695
      @maxquimby4695 Před 2 lety +2

      Florida: if the USMC was a state

  • @michaelamankwaa706
    @michaelamankwaa706 Před 2 lety +2

    Watching this now as the invasion starts is surreal and chilling. Stand with Ukraine 🇺🇦

  • @summerbarton-taylor2637
    @summerbarton-taylor2637 Před 2 lety +4

    Stephen Colbert thank you for finding ways to make us laugh as we continue to fight fascist takeover. Godspeed. You work is important!!!

  • @chrisk1128
    @chrisk1128 Před 2 lety +27

    The monkeys destination was a research lab in Florida for those that were wondering.

    • @kellysouter4381
      @kellysouter4381 Před 2 lety +10

      I was wondering. That's awful. Pity they couldn't make good their escape.

    • @francinamanning2320
      @francinamanning2320 Před 2 lety +14

      Steven most likely knew where the monkeys were heading. I don't know if he pretended not to know but this is his first show I ever gave a thumbs down for. And I never miss his show. Poor monkeys when are they going to stop doing research with them. Years ago I learned from a scientist that they don't need to do research using animals.

    • @davidmansoor1364
      @davidmansoor1364 Před 2 lety +8

      @@francinamanning2320 I was searching through to see if anyone would say this. I heard 3 of the monkeys had to be euthanized. And some were injured badly. Disgusting to know they are transporting mass monkeys.

    • @sunshine3914
      @sunshine3914 Před 2 lety +5

      He knew... he couldn’t help but know, & said nothing just for the sake of a joke. No balls.

    • @davidmansoor1364
      @davidmansoor1364 Před 2 lety +2

      @@kellysouter4381 they found one and shot it 3 times. Apparently they told the lady that on scene that got bit to monitor for flu like symptoms from the monkey. What on earth are they doing?

  • @terrencethomas2954
    @terrencethomas2954 Před 2 lety +18

    Flying monkeys do exist! I lived next door to their owner for 32 years. Every time she took off on her bike the music would follow her down the block.

  • @katushawatkins1922
    @katushawatkins1922 Před 2 lety +4

    Stephen Colbert's impersonations are always EXCELLENT!! Wonderful. So much fun!

  • @thomasmccaffrey264
    @thomasmccaffrey264 Před 2 lety +5

    Every time they say covid is starting to wain… everyone stops any type of containment and we go right back to square one

  • @omoyescorner
    @omoyescorner Před 2 lety +8

    "100 men in 100 hats" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. I enjoyed this very much. Thanks for the laugh

  • @JerkzCrewInc
    @JerkzCrewInc Před 2 lety +129

    SUCH AN AWESOME EPISODE. I always look forward to seeing your uploads!! Makes me feel peace ✌️

    • @sunshine3914
      @sunshine3914 Před 2 lety

      You’re missing out....

    • @allisonjames2923
      @allisonjames2923 Před 2 lety

      I love Stephen’s work normally, but the impending Russian invasion of Ukraine is not funny. At all! This is an impending war about to be started by a megalomaniac

  • @TheRealTimMeredith
    @TheRealTimMeredith Před 2 lety +59

    When he said Omicron appears to have peaked and then had to hold for applause, I flashed back to watching high school football where the crowd didn't really know how the game worked and whenever our team gave up like a 50 yard run, they would still get a huge cheer for eventually tackling the guy.

  • @jennalusche
    @jennalusche Před 2 lety +2

    "Exactly what you thought but worse than you imagined" 😅

  • @heyheytaytay
    @heyheytaytay Před 2 lety +23

    Apparently Spanish fighter pilots wear matador outfits when they fly XD nice touch
    2:31

  • @robertbruce2840
    @robertbruce2840 Před 2 lety +8

    "Spain's "Tappas Gun" &
    M. Y. Pillow - Stephen's on
    🔥🤣

    • @Andie1951
      @Andie1951 Před 2 lety

      My phone wants to translate this to English
      🤣😂🤣😂

  • @cherylwilkinson3228
    @cherylwilkinson3228 Před 2 lety +261

    I always find Stephen funny, but I laughed so hard through this clip that I was crying. Now I'm wondering if it was even funnier than usual or if the stress of the last few years is just making me hysterical.

    • @thepresence365
      @thepresence365 Před 2 lety +11

      I have asked myself the same question...I think that's our hint 😅

    • @matthewsharp1178
      @matthewsharp1178 Před 2 lety +10

      The jokes recently have been getting a lot punchier and OnPoint, I think they hired a new Writer

    • @poietes7337
      @poietes7337 Před 2 lety +12

      He's funny, but it's definitely the stress.....

    • @Mondfischli
      @Mondfischli Před 2 lety +9

      ...too many green M&Ms maybe 🤔

    • @7octillionatoms476
      @7octillionatoms476 Před 2 lety +1

      He’s punchier, not necessarily funnier.

  • @amag140696
    @amag140696 Před 2 lety +16

    I thought when you were talking about the nurses you were fixing to segue into the insane ThedaCare case where they somehow got a judge to file an injunction to keep 7 nurses from starting work at a new hospital until ThedaCare had found replacements. Absolutely absurd the idea that a company could keep their employees from quitting to find better employment when companies are free to fire people at will. They thankfully failed and the injunction was dismissed, but wow.

  • @missdarque
    @missdarque Před 2 lety +84

    The game Stephen should have gone with was “Corn hole”

    • @greenderp
      @greenderp Před 2 lety +14

      Stephen, hire this woman now! XD

    • @televinv8062
      @televinv8062 Před 2 lety +2

      🤣😂😅🤣😂

    • @dl8065
      @dl8065 Před 2 lety +1

      The great corn holio!

    • @kimberlyanne8549
      @kimberlyanne8549 Před 2 lety +1

      I was thinking darts, but cornhole is much better! 🤣

    • @joefuentes2977
      @joefuentes2977 Před 2 lety +1

      There's an even more fun version of cornhole you should try!

  • @misz3
    @misz3 Před 2 lety +137

    I love how we went from being terrified of COVID peaks to waiting for them so that we can pray it was the last wave and cases will go back down

    • @yomamaa4932
      @yomamaa4932 Před 2 lety +9

      @@UTubekookdetector the next way is obviously here... The unvaccinated are the ones that tax the poor healthcare workers, and most likely die.

    • @porfiriato84
      @porfiriato84 Před 2 lety +16

      @Cony Budding dude
      Stop copying & pasting your same BS comment. Troll

    • @Omni0404
      @Omni0404 Před 2 lety +8

      @@porfiriato84 Use the report button

    • @Death0Row
      @Death0Row Před 2 lety +3

      Until u watch john oliver's Segment on The Next pandemic😂

    • @SeansModelBuilds
      @SeansModelBuilds Před 2 lety +2

      As Captain Picard said in First Contact: "Plenty of letters left in the Alphabet." As far as COVID Variants are concerned.

  • @tamzinbrown9384
    @tamzinbrown9384 Před 2 lety +13

    As an elderly poll worker, I approve this message!

  • @brileighcookie3860
    @brileighcookie3860 Před 2 lety +4

    I've had a co-worker, an RN, working all week with Covid. Hospital said it was ok. She is seeing patients also that don't have Covid. She has been wearing her N95.

  • @gamepapa1211
    @gamepapa1211 Před 2 lety +94

    Me: "Aah what a nice day! Let's see what's on the news today."
    The News: "NATO IS MOBILIZING TROOPS TO THE UKRAINE AND POTENTIALLY START A NEW COLD WAR"
    Me: "Welp, that's enough news for today."

    • @MonkeyJedi99
      @MonkeyJedi99 Před 2 lety +23

      We can only HOPE that this one stays "cold".

    • @TheBioExplorer
      @TheBioExplorer Před 2 lety +19

      A cold war is fine. We did okay during the last cold war.... and it bankrupted the Soviet Union to the point it fell apart. It's a hot war that worries me more.

    • @KGBSpyGeorgeCostanza
      @KGBSpyGeorgeCostanza Před 2 lety +1

      As a citizen of the Russian Federation, i'd father not get into a cold war, but if NATO decided to continue a pact we will take action

    • @lexslate2476
      @lexslate2476 Před 2 lety +17

      @@TheBioExplorer It also built a very, very large funnel from the US treasury to the pockets of defence contractors. And let's be real, if you described the modern US economy to someone from the fifties (an endless sea of dead-end jobs, can barely make ends meet with both parents working overtime, cities withering because their industries all left, a tiny number of people holding virtually all the money), they'd assume the US lost the cold war. And badly.

    • @andmos1001
      @andmos1001 Před 2 lety +4

      @@TheBioExplorer three words: Cuban missile crisis

  • @donaldstorm4959
    @donaldstorm4959 Před 2 lety +38

    The best late night show that we have in this country thank you Stephen Colbert for all the great laughs unfortunately all the great truth

    • @sunshine3914
      @sunshine3914 Před 2 lety

      Obviously you haven’t watched any recently.

    • @JackLyons00
      @JackLyons00 Před 2 lety

      Ty, I needed a laugh

    • @christinamartin9049
      @christinamartin9049 Před 2 lety

      More like world, Stephen is probably the most talented person in the world other than the president and vice president.

  • @drybonesmalone6974
    @drybonesmalone6974 Před 2 lety +2

    Jon really never misses a moment to be heard off camera scream laughing and randomly starring into the camera

  • @roni6215
    @roni6215 Před 2 lety +33

    My life has come full circle ! From school, war drills , hiding under our desks , nuclear, fall-out shelters , another Russian Kruschev .

    • @Bill_Garthright
      @Bill_Garthright Před 2 lety +6

      _My life has come full circle_
      Mine, too. I remember getting Civil Defense pamphlets in my _grade school._ I dutifully took them home, then wondered why my parents wouldn't build a bomb shelter! Heh, heh.
      Admittedly, I never expected so many of my fellow Americans to be on the side of the _Nazis_ in the 21st Century - or for Republicans to be so openly pro-Russia, either. It's a very weird future, I must say!
      The racism? Yeah, I expected that. But not that the Republican Party would be so willing to do _anything_ for political power. Back when I was a kid, there were _some_ standards, at least (not when it came to racism, admittedly).

    • @roni6215
      @roni6215 Před 2 lety +3

      @@Bill_Garthright I know ! History repeating .

    • @daghostxxx1797
      @daghostxxx1797 Před 2 lety +5

      @@Bill_Garthright Totally agree !

    • @eric2500
      @eric2500 Před 2 lety +5

      RIGHT?! As a younger Boomer I remember some of this, but mostly how the Right Wing kept up the fear level against Russia because Commies! Now that Russian government is all about paranoia and imperialist expansionism, they like it okay.
      *I think they feel an emotional kinship.*

  • @care2think611
    @care2think611 Před 2 lety +13

    The Colbert Show always surprises me how it keeps staying fabulous while unflinchingly shining a spotlight on the important issues. A national treasure!

    • @ubertones
      @ubertones Před 2 lety

      A bunch of crazy geniuses. 😄

  • @NewMessage
    @NewMessage Před 2 lety +14

    No matter the game, I'm sure we'll all be Sorry!

    • @kconry3078
      @kconry3078 Před 2 lety +6

      You don't know we might sink there Battleship!

  • @joncouch6981
    @joncouch6981 Před 2 lety +1

    This whole situation has me feeling like Ralph Wiggum
    *Chuckles* We're in danger 🙃

    • @poietes7337
      @poietes7337 Před 2 lety

      Now that's a blast from the past!

  • @mknsh66
    @mknsh66 Před 2 lety +1

    😁And the Irish are sending fishermen with signs "Down with this sort of thing "

  • @vinceedwards3978
    @vinceedwards3978 Před 2 lety +7

    I used to play Monopoly with the thimble all the time!!!!

  • @OkayOkcomics
    @OkayOkcomics Před 2 lety +10

    i can't imagine going through all the prep for a hospital procedure and then being told by the doctor who's about to operate on you that they have covid.

    • @heimdalvonodin4876
      @heimdalvonodin4876 Před 2 lety

      You can't imagine it because it's not fucking true. Doctors and nurses are not being asked to work if they are sick with an infectious virus. Give your fucking head a shake. You are watching a propagandist from the far left doing a great job at convincing you that this pandemic is the reason you should give up your freedoms. Wake the fuck up.

    • @SchoolforHackers
      @SchoolforHackers Před 2 lety +1

      @@heimdalvonodin4876 Which freedoms?

    • @heimdalvonodin4876
      @heimdalvonodin4876 Před 2 lety

      @@SchoolforHackers You could start with freedom of movement. Any state that is telling you to produce a "vaccine" card, to enter a public building, for starters. The freedom to conduct private business? California, for example along with other blue state run shitholes. Doesn't matter much, Even left wing nut jobs are done with Covid so we'll see if this war with Russia is enough of a distraction for you to not notice the Dem's are destroying your way of life.

    • @christinamartin9049
      @christinamartin9049 Před 2 lety +1

      @@heimdalvonodin4876 What the hell is freedom if Covid kills us all genius? You do realize the constitution was written by racist slave owners right?
      Millions of people in the USA are dying from Covid every single day. Thankfully we have vaccines to prevent catching and spreading Covid so people like you don't kill us all.
      You probably like Trump too huh? You do realize he is a satanist right?

    • @heimdalvonodin4876
      @heimdalvonodin4876 Před 2 lety

      @@christinamartin9049 I'm working under the assumption that you are around the age of 13 years because clearly an educated adult would not say anything like this.
      Firstly, James Adams was the main author of The Constitution. He never owned a slave. Franklin was the other main contributor. He owned two during his early life but became a strong abolitionist because of the Constitution and what it meant to be American, black or white. The problem, at the time it was written though was that the Democrat Party had to be appeased and they would not give up slavery, Anyone who reads the historical documents and personal letters of the founding fathers will know this to be true. The new country could not go straight to civil war. It would take another 90 years before men fought and died for the end of slavery, all thanks to Democrats. And I would have to say this, The Constitution could have been written by blood thirsty cannibals and it would still be one of the greatest documents of political governance to ever be written. Some of the founding father did own slaves, that is true but I bet if you go back through your family tree, far enough, you have ancestors that owned slaves. Does that make everything your family has ever done evil and racist?
      Now lets cover your leftist, hyperbolic statements about Covid..
      Covid won't kill us all. There is a 98.8 chance that you will survive the virus with your own immune system.
      Second, the virus has yet to kill a million Americans and it's been here for two years. If a million are dying of Covid every single day, no one would be left in less than a year. You do see why you are sounding like a brainwashed cult member, right? Get your facts, straight before you talk.
      Thirdly, your vaccines (how many are we up to now?) are not preventing catching and spreading Covid. As a matter of fact, the virus is believed to have simply mutated faster in those who took the vaccine and then spreading it. I don't know where you are on this but even the CDC is no longer claiming the vaccines stop you from catching and spreading the virus. It stopped saying that about four months ago but you run along and get your third, fourth, fifth, experimental jab. Let me know how you are feeling in five years.
      Lastly, Trump is a satanist? I don't know but it sounds like you are discriminatory toward peoples religion. Do you have a problem with satanists?

  • @Jessmess112
    @Jessmess112 Před 2 lety

    Jon's laugh takes me out each time! 🤣

  • @milissaellan6805
    @milissaellan6805 Před 2 lety +1

    I LOVE John's jacket!

  • @Kuew01
    @Kuew01 Před 2 lety +3

    Can we please just evolve to a point where we stop trying to kill each other over imaginary boundries??

  • @SilentRain97
    @SilentRain97 Před 2 lety +50

    Just a little thought: maybe you could use the military and its resources, not to overthrow democracy and free and fair elections, but rather to support local hospitals in crisis? Wasn't that a thing at the beginning of the pandemic? At least where I live, it was.

    • @cathieludemann5879
      @cathieludemann5879 Před 2 lety +3

      They are already doing that in some more populace areas. Been on the news the last few days.

    • @calinasagilitypartner4444
      @calinasagilitypartner4444 Před 2 lety +3

      It still is. I know fir a fact that there are military docs and nurses at the Cleveland Clinic.

    • @beth8775
      @beth8775 Před 2 lety +2

      A friend of ours is in the National Guard, and his unit is getting called up for hospital assistance.

  • @chrisadish
    @chrisadish Před 2 lety

    The guy laughing in the background cracks me up!!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @MichelleIbarraMHAEdD
    @MichelleIbarraMHAEdD Před 2 lety +1

    His skittles shaming 🤣🤣😂

  • @CHAOSmusic-2019
    @CHAOSmusic-2019 Před 2 lety +336

    hahahaha "Oh Ukraine you don't want that, we just got rid of our pro Russian leader, and he was a disaster" What a good joke 😂

    • @joe47771
      @joe47771 Před 2 lety +10

      haha I just timestamped it 3:20

    • @vvohvaelez9277
      @vvohvaelez9277 Před 2 lety +24

      We all know if T was still President, he;d say that he spoke to Putin and believes him when he says there are 0 Russian troops on the border and that he was very "forceful in his denial" lmfao

    • @CHAOSmusic-2019
      @CHAOSmusic-2019 Před 2 lety +7

      @@joe47771 haha thanks man 👍

    • @CHAOSmusic-2019
      @CHAOSmusic-2019 Před 2 lety +17

      @@vvohvaelez9277 haha or imagine T saying to Putin "I'm going to build a big wall between Ukraine and Russia, and you gonna pay for it" haha

    • @pizzarollking4397
      @pizzarollking4397 Před 2 lety +3

      You know nothing about Ukraine or Eastern Europe. You won't see the bodies of dead Russians from Khokhols. American Imperalist!

  • @KA-ey9sc
    @KA-ey9sc Před 2 lety +16

    With China and Russia working together, this is REALLY bad. China wants Taiwan, Russia wants Ukraine.
    Two nuclear powers working together against a crippled US? Personally, I’m sick of unprecedented times….

    • @LIamaLlama554
      @LIamaLlama554 Před 2 lety +2

      Makes you wonder if Covid was all part of a plan to destabilize West prior to these moves…

    • @eric2500
      @eric2500 Před 2 lety

      I hear you. I'd be perfectly willing to have only ONE horrible worldwide problem. Like climate change.

    • @eric2500
      @eric2500 Před 2 lety

      @@LIamaLlama554 And you point to another ridiculous miserable problem, worldwide paranoia, that is .Too bad you are pointing at yourself.
      Why one earth would China let a virus out that killed so many of its own people? It would not. Get your head together and live in the real world- we need to be paying attention to facts, which are already bad enough, thanks!

  • @IAmJustR
    @IAmJustR Před 2 lety +1

    Ok so someone started Jumanji.... THAT explains EVERYTHING 😂

  • @Tormund_Giantsbrain
    @Tormund_Giantsbrain Před 2 lety +7

    Defending liberal democracy abroad is imperative if we want to keep liberal democracy alive at home. They're not mutually exclusive. You can't isolate yourself away from Global Autocracy that's on the march.

  • @slh950
    @slh950 Před 2 lety +3

    Monkeys were on way to a lab for experimentation ... torture basically

  • @dianaclark3698
    @dianaclark3698 Před 2 lety +3

    I seriously need to know where Jon Batiste got his suit/shirt combo from because I need that outfit in my wardrobe a-stat.

  • @djjonnybong
    @djjonnybong Před 2 lety

    It's as over as going to rake leaves during the eye of a hurricane. 🤣

  • @free2express08
    @free2express08 Před 2 lety

    Tapas Gun and that Florida joke got me 😂😂😂

  • @byGDur
    @byGDur Před 2 lety +3

    Stephens impressions are on point!

  • @MandoMonge
    @MandoMonge Před 2 lety +181

    “How will the US military seize control of a democratic election?” Central America will be more than happy to answer that question

    • @krejados1
      @krejados1 Před 2 lety +13

      You are aware that the US provoked Central and South American coups, right?

    • @MandoMonge
      @MandoMonge Před 2 lety +23

      @@krejados1 that’s what I meant

    • @krejados1
      @krejados1 Před 2 lety +7

      @@MandoMonge Ah, sorry. I misinterpreted your comment. Thanks for clearing things up. Cheers.

    • @jamiebrown1235
      @jamiebrown1235 Před 2 lety +6

      We can send a memo from Africa too

    • @bryandimery6509
      @bryandimery6509 Před 2 lety +5

      Also....notice hiw EVERY country we "help" is wrecked....like dems in black communities...please STOP helping

  • @monkeyfeed908
    @monkeyfeed908 Před 2 lety +1

    They found me, can confirm.
    lured me in with those dang cheddar baked biscuits.

  • @PepeLePhrogg
    @PepeLePhrogg Před 2 lety +13

    We’re literally on the precipice of WW3 and we’re all collectively nervous laughing…..
    God help us…

    • @grmpEqweer
      @grmpEqweer Před 2 lety +1

      Laugh at the horrorshow. It works for me.
      ....Dystopia...let me be your guide...

  • @SynthgodXXX
    @SynthgodXXX Před 2 lety +3

    Fantastic opening! The control room joke @ 09:53 about split my sides! 😀

  • @kerry1551
    @kerry1551 Před 2 lety +6

    "We're all going to die, all of us, what a circus! That alone should make us love each other but it doesn't. We are terrorized and flattened by trivialities, we are eaten up by nothing."
    Charles Bukowski

    • @poietes7337
      @poietes7337 Před 2 lety

      Bukowski's stark words are actually quite apropos these days.

  • @mdphotography8676
    @mdphotography8676 Před 2 lety +2

    The monkeys were most likely sold from one research facility to another. Worked at research facility where we had a breading program so shipped them off to smaller labs in the US.
    Hope that paints a picture..

  • @jemppumalkki8619
    @jemppumalkki8619 Před 2 lety

    Guys in the sound booth 'love it' just as much as the household as I binge these at night.

  • @marklowry8662
    @marklowry8662 Před 2 lety +6

    That might have been the best joke I ever heard.

    • @stevechance150
      @stevechance150 Před 2 lety +3

      You need to be more specific Mark. How about giving us the timestamp. Like this, 3:25.

    • @justinneddie9437
      @justinneddie9437 Před 2 lety

      Whatever it was it must've been good

    • @poietes7337
      @poietes7337 Před 2 lety

      Which one? All of them!

  • @tedrick1691
    @tedrick1691 Před 2 lety +4

    I love Stephen Colbert

  • @joannejohnson7006
    @joannejohnson7006 Před 2 lety

    Lololol, running strong !!! You are simply the best 😁

  • @dactylntrochee
    @dactylntrochee Před 2 lety +3

    I loved (and was amazed by) how fast the Fighting Irish and River Dance references registered on me. It's not like I follow football or theater, but those things are apparently universal enough to ring the bell in everyone instantly -- and Stephen or one of his crew knows that. Very clever. Very, very clever.

  • @silkcitysocialist420
    @silkcitysocialist420 Před 2 lety +3

    Thanks Stephen! Now I want cheddar cheese biscuits.....

  • @emilyhart2252
    @emilyhart2252 Před 2 lety +22

    When Stephen did his ivanka urges monkeys to fly bit I felt truly fulfilled.

  • @andyrobertson1300
    @andyrobertson1300 Před 2 lety +2

    Steven is not and never will be as funny as he was his show was perfect and his performance was perfect as well!

  • @jjt1881
    @jjt1881 Před 2 lety +2

    3:28 "We just got rid of our Pro-Russian leader..." 🤣😂

  • @tylerdurden4563
    @tylerdurden4563 Před 2 lety +11

    This Colbert guy is a pretty good actor. Give him the Oscar!

  • @lw3269
    @lw3269 Před 2 lety +36

    Whelp... we went five months without a war. The defense contractors are winning again.

    • @sgshumblecrumb6046
      @sgshumblecrumb6046 Před 2 lety +2

      And the people are laughing and cheering. What a war rally this show is.

    • @itookallthenames
      @itookallthenames Před 2 lety +1

      Laughs in Yemen

    • @SeansModelBuilds
      @SeansModelBuilds Před 2 lety

      Did America forget Afghanistan already?

    • @itookallthenames
      @itookallthenames Před 2 lety +1

      @@SeansModelBuilds yep lol

    • @SeansModelBuilds
      @SeansModelBuilds Před 2 lety

      @@itookallthenames Unfortunate. You would think after 60 years, that they would learn that they can never win on the Eurasian Continent.

  • @obi-wankenobi8462
    @obi-wankenobi8462 Před 2 lety +1

    Smoke a joint, go to jail, start a coup….nothing.

  • @PanthasEmpressOracle
    @PanthasEmpressOracle Před 2 lety +1

    Why the fk was there A TRUCK WITH 100 MONKEYS IN CRATES….wtf!!?!?!?🤯📞

  • @Taijifufu
    @Taijifufu Před 2 lety +44

    I expected the Russian ideas in writing to be a crumpled piece of paper with a skidmark on it.

  • @DaDunge
    @DaDunge Před 2 lety +9

    4:15 And funny enough it was worse than that. They wanted NATO out of all former soviet states. Which includes several Nato members. Estonia Latvia and Lithuania as memory serves me.

  • @frankwhite2072
    @frankwhite2072 Před 2 lety

    Mr. B's suite jacket is on point.

  • @GaiaGhost
    @GaiaGhost Před 2 lety

    "But I've played a lot of ski ball" 🤣