MSSP - Sending Desperate Messages
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- čas přidán 1. 09. 2022
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From Matt and Shane's secret podcast ep 49 - Komedie
I wrote a short story after my ex broke up with me where she was a flower and I neglected to water her. My face is burning just thinking about how corny it was
Yo dawg I might have to steal that one lol
@@chilliwraslin2510 you’ll regret it lmao
My soul hurt just reading that.
God damn but it’s kind of sweet
Lmao
When I was 19 and home from college, I went to a house party and saw my HS crush hanging out. I ended up getting black out drunk and lecturing her for 20 minutes about how her boyfriend in high school was a loser and how superior I was in every way. She just stared at me the entire time and said nothing. I still hate myself to this day when I think about it. I’m 35
She got wet bro
I can feel the cringe😭😭. Alcohol is the worst lol
She was probably soaking wet for you dude
Oh man. Welcome.to the team dawg
Ew
I audibly scream and cover my eyes when I'm home alone and I think of my behavior in the past, cring PTSD is real
Reading these comments seriously makes me feel better about doing something similar. I'm not joking it's funny but not a joke
@DeadArmed You're not alone dawg stay up player
I've done that too. 😂 Glad to know we're all in this together. I remember writing some poem when I was 17-18 to some girl, and it had a line about hoping the night would end sooner so I could see my sunshine the next day. Ugh. I just shuddered thinking about it again.
You have to make friends with the dark brah
Thanks this made me lol, I do the same thing
The worst thing you can hear on an MSSP: "Where are we at time-wise?"...
Seriously
"We're at an hr? Alright well let's wrap this up."
I once wrote a girl I loved a poem and emailed it to her. When she didn’t reply I sent it again thinking she hadn’t got it….
That's bad
How old were you? I'm more curious about the "she didn't get it" conclusion.
That’s the mind of the dawg at work
i audibly gasped
😂
A friend of mine was drunk and got in a fight with the bouncer. As the police pinned him to the ground, he looked up and saw a co-worker of his and confessed his undying love for her. He quit the next day. There was no other choice.
No looking back.
So gay dude
What’s more embarrassing is NOT having a story like this. Get out there and take some risks.
full respect for mentioning the other side of the coin, bro.
You're coping hard. Just admit you regret it
@@jpk9902 depends on which time we’re talking about…
Whatever makes you feel better
@@ianprescott7924sleeping at night is important
When my highschool sweetheart broke up with me, she did it at Target on one of those outside benches. FF to the crying and I said something along the lines of, " I hope you find someone better" then ran off into the parking lot sobbing. Ran past my car and had to awkwardly walk back to it.😂
Were you slowly running with open palms; purse swinging from the speed?
im sorry dude
Damm ur gay!
When ur first love brakes up with u you’re just supposed to go on a plucking spree until u don’t feeling crying anymore
That was a gallant and dignified thing to say!
@@murkartik indubitably
When I was 19 and living on a deflated air mattress in a house with three middle aged alcoholics, I used to get hammered and send "yo what up?" to damn near every single girl I was Facebook friends with. It only worked once; hundreds of messages, one time.
Every time I come back to this clip I remember a new one, goddammit
That's not that bad
But if it works it works…
That's a good move bro, I mean I respect the hell out of that grind. Stay up king, you'll get some snizz eventually
You were / are an alcoholic also
At 30 I'm always depressed that I wasted so many chances with women because I am a coward and never had the balls to even send them a fb text.
Thanks to you now I get that I would have gotten the same sad response you got, maybe worse, and that makes feel less suicidal, I might not even think about it today, thanks
Reminds me of the time when I was 16 and I got broken up with for the first time so I very emotionally rode my bike to her house and placed a rose I spray painted black on her front porch. Gives me heartburn thinking about it.
When I was deployed a few years ago I got a bit of the desert madness and started convincing myself I was still in love with my former high school sweetheart. Got to the point I was even dreaming about how I messed up ending it with her years ago.
I eventually ended up sending this super cringe message saying that I still had feelings and wanted to try again if she was willing.
She apparently wrote out a very long and thoughtful response, but it remains unread still almost 4 years later because the sentence preview was enough to know it was a definite no- something like “no, but I know you will find someone for you who…..”
Man. Seeing anything that wasn’t a “yes me too” instantly snapped me back to reality and the cringe whiplash took a decade off my life. Immediately though “what the fuck am I doing?” And never thought about her like that again lmao. God it still kills me to think about that misstep.
I’d get absolutely hammered drunk alone at my house and read it near blackout. Take the sting off that way
desert madness is real as fuck dawg
In an alternate timeline she responded positively and y’all got back together, and now you’re a father of 2 with a decent paying job as an hvac technician. You’re secretly depressed and addicted to opioids and constantly fantasize about pulling a Chris Benoit
Joining the military was a bigger misstep
@@Brett101792 You sound like a giant pussy, LOL
Oh we admitting embarrassing things? One time a girl dumped me and I sent her a link to a Bruno Mars song🤣🤣
bro… i would be more embarrassed that you listened to bruno mars at all
@@dallassunderland... thats the point bud. You should look up sometimes might miss things flying over your head.
I’m glad you didn’t keep this thought bottled up.
Similar ... I tried to confess my love to a girl by sending her a link of the song "with you" by Chris brown (or I think it's the name of the song lol) and she was like why you sending me this ? And I was like it remind me of you and she said ok and kept on talking to me like nothing happened I was crushed
Should have sent that boys2men joint
It’s weird until you get head might be one of Matt’s best quotes
he has so many but this one always makes me laugh and think at the same time
It’s okay, dawgs. Men truly are the romantic ones. Men are romantics pretending to be realists and women are realists pretending to be romantics
Truth
Men try
Well said my dawg, very true.
Truer words my man
Men wrote 95% of all poetry and music in the world.
Women write lists.
we’ve all been there dawgz, no worries you’re not alone dude. also i love how Shane’s only admittance about his poems is “mechanical hound” LOL
fahrenheit 451? lol
@@Derek_Keenanhas to be
@@limabeats2389 451 in the love letter is honestly wild he really must be a wordsmith to make that make sense
Pinned for this is the biggest compliment and burn at the same time lol, props
I’m 30 and like 3 years ago I had a few to many brewskis and sent a Hawthorne heights song to the emo girl I dated through high school .. she’s Married with 2 kids .. took me a while to come back from that lol
Lmao, as a former scene ladyboy I feel you. It was Ohio is for Lovers wasn't it?
@@poon_don bingo lol
Ffffuuuuuuhhhhhhck, dude
My hs sweetheart and I are still great friends, she has 2 kids and a divorce. Even though we would speak all the time somehow I got drunk and said I'd marry you blah blah. Started crying. Oof. Tough one to think about.
Fk them kids bro and her husband, go get your queen. Lol
"It's weird UNTIL you get head"
Sent my high school ex-girlfriend a Killswitch Engage song + a heartfelt plea as a public Facebook post right after we broke up for the second time. Several people we both knew saw it.
Boy did I hit my dad's johnny walker extra hard that night, damn near wet my girl jeans
Dawg. That is the best thing I’ve heard. You’re such a champ.
My guy literally can't love any harder.
@@DemoAccount0001 thanks homie, the gay seed still unfortunately lies within me but I don't water it nearly as often
@@yesman9792 it's true, both my heart and loins still burst with fervency and fury
The worst part about it is making it public.
One thing my Dad taught me a long, long time ago was, Never write or record anything that you don’t want other people to read/hear. Shit like that you say it in in private. This was before smart phones and everyone filming everything, always. I’ve always tried to stick to that one though. It has prevented me from experiencing a decent amount of humiliation.
Wise man
Great advice. The move if you absolutely can’t help it, is to send it to yourself first and then wait a bit. I guarantee it won’t be long before the cringe becomes apparent
Smart dad
Nothing worse than crying on a drunk voicemail
There needs to be an AI to prevent this. "Embarrassing voicemail detected, your future self may regret this, are you sure you wish to send?"
@@bardsamok9221youre drunk selfs definitely hittin yes 100% of the time
@@solodolo6044100% … which is why it should make you type the alphabet backwards on the number pad before you can send anything ..😂
@@solodolo6044”she needs to hear this”
Best thing about Shane is he says he's mortified of something he's done in the past, would be mortified if the world found out, and then tells us exactly what it is
It's like the gay dream "I will literally never divulge", then he immediately told us the dream 🤣🤣
We have got to get these Shane poems at all costs.
Hahaha if you haven’t been here before…you haven’t been in love…so embarrassing and equally hilarious in hindsight
Exactly hahaha
My guy Shane writing love poems about Farenhight 451 💀💀💀
My face burns with embarrassment even thinking about how gay I was
"Mechanical hound"
*Bbg melts
“…Pounding your mound.”
honestly i think that whole thing about girls being more sensitive and thoughtful is just a myth. if anything, the opposite is true. you rarely hear about girls doing this type of shit. meanwhile, every guy in here has a story like the ones you see in this comments section
So true but they are sensitive and thoughtful in the “I will keep this man” way not the “I will court this man” way
Bruh I've been saying this shit for years. I believe even Matt once said there's nobody as romantic as a 17 year old boy
Women were sensitive until feminism lol
Apparently every dude has some Maya Angelo inside of them. I've scrolled past at least 20 "I wrote this poem..." posts. It's all part of growing up and out of boyhood ignorance. That's a good spin to avoid saying I was a douchey kid with love filled eyes.
Girls only do this before they get their heart broken
Man…when I was in like 8th grade I sent a love poem I wrote for a girl through the MySpace messenger thing. I still think about that when I’m trying to fall asleep sometimes lol
How'd it go you remember?
@DeadArmed she responded in kind and that night he got the name thrashman3000 for what occurred between them
They probably laughed, the entire group of girls who read his message
@@deadarmd she just never responded and we didn’t acknowledge it at all lol funny enough we ended up “dating” a little later in the school year tho
@@jkake2434 I’m sure they did lol. That’s the point of being embarrassed by it.
Bruh I fuckin wrote raps to girls about what our life was gonna be while on triple c’s. Embarassing
Goddamn this got me good, I'm gonna robotrip and think about babes right now
I wrote this super fine BBG in my creative writing class a poem back in the day. I asked her to prom at the end of it, I asked her to read it and give me some feed back. I felt like a baller when she said yes😎 she texted me later that night saying no actually lol
Oh my god 😂
That's not terrible
@@CatnamedMittens it wasn’t a good time though lol
buddy was on top of the world for those few hours
@@iCookCrystalMeth he was feeling himself Shakespeare
I like the idea of Matt tracking down these ex-girlfriend and they’re found the notes and they’re laughing at how embarrassing is about to be recording it and they start to read it and as they go through you see them holding back tears by the time they’re finished they can barely talk from holding back tears from how beautiful the poem was. Then mats like “yeah that was totally gay I thought it would be.”
Worst is when you think of something so embarrassing you just shiver and make a weird out loud noise. Keeps you humble
Shoutout to all the bbg's 🐺🧠
🐶🧠 love a hungry 🐱🐷 wweeeEEE!
Oh dude the dawgs get me so f**king fired up.
Duuuude I love my BBG
Wolf brain alpha status
🐶 🧠 ❤️
in college i wrote a hand written poem for my bbg once and put it as my MySpace background picture 😆😂
Holy fuckin cringe haha
down bad
bbg what’s that?
@@MyNameIsBVD babygirl
The fact that I immediately knew what bbg stood for makes me sick
Glad I’m not the only one that Googles people I vaguely knew 15 years ago 😂😂😂
Matt should join the next save your parks
I think Joe would spend a good amount of time letting Matt’s genius go over his head.
@@williamhenderson2661 for sure
@@williamhenderson2661 a constant stream of
“Wait why” “what do you mean”
“Why is that funny” from St Rogies
Matt needs to go in solo or with Eddie bravo
YAAAAS 🤓
I wrote a "you're a princess and I want to have you in my tower" message in middle school.
That is the worst one I have ever heard. I feel like it has infected my psyche and now I have lived that experience and will take it to my death bed.
@@user-gy1pu3gq3d at least you weren't the one who said it. I'm pretty sure my bestie still has a copy
I once wrote a hate comment on CZcams and it got on the local news, each of the state news sites, and the national news. What I hated most about the public shaming, the losing of the job, the losing of friends, is that I never was given a chance to explain what I meant.
Seriously?? You mind sharing?
Need the news story link
@@14jlewis1 just google my name and add “CZcams threat” to the search. Ask me anything.
That's crazy. Wow
@@davidswanson5669I’ll ask then… what did you mean?
My ex had trust issues with me…at least that is what she scribbled in her diary
Where'd you steal that from
@@cbappa2 Drake Sather stand-up from 40 years ago lol
I have left that same message but I just had a cold and I was leaving a voicemail for my dawg
Ok I didn't have a cold.
Well this just made me remember all my horrid middle/highschool poetry, I'm sick to my stomach now, thanks guys lol
currently a senior in highschool and i occasionally write bae a love letter. I know it's cringe but it's fun and It'll be silly to look back on :)
Is ‘bae’ a thing people say unironically?
@@Dapryor lmao thankfully not anymore 😅
My oldest brother his freshmen year of high school would write sexually charged letters to his gf at the time, and obviously she would write them back… but my ultra religious parents found the letters in his sock drawer 😂😂😂😊
@@047Kenny😂😂😂 if your parents go to church, you have to do better than the sock drawer
When was 24 and I sent a text to my ex telling her I want to be with her forever and just play halo with her all day... I want to go back in time and kick the shit outta myself.
Ok that's pretty bad at 24. I'm so sorry lol
there’s nothing worse than reading ANY old messages when you’re flirting . anytime i come across them i absolutely hate myself 😂😂
“Mechanical hound” neat to know one of his fav books is Fahrenheit 451.
I wrote a girl a song. She was in a relationship... and I wrote her a song to convince her to give me a chance. Physical pain
Doesnt it seem like such a good idea at the time lol
Eric Clapton did this and got the girl
I was on me knees in the tub while the water was hitting me praying she would come back.
Everytime I think about it I cringe sooo hard
Keep feathering it Shane
He’s following protocol
At the Falcon Car Wash.
ahahahaha
Godlike thumbnail game
My handwriting was so embarrassing to me i had an Asian girl write out my feelings for my girlfriend it was a long beautiful soliloquy but all she wrote was "me love you long time"
Good one lol
Ruv* Rong*
Lmao this got me
....Niceee
Lmao, im dead. I want this to be real so bad hahahah.
The only thing that would make this better is if she wrote ``i ruv you`` instead.
I don't cringe anymore, I say to myself "This is why Jesus had to die for me"
I dated this Indian immigrant for a few years and I remember showing her To Catch a Predator and she was a little offended by it lol
She was like, this would not fly in India. She said there would probably be riots over it 😂😂😂 I can’t even begin to understand what that’s about.
😮 whaaaaaat 😂
as in, they fuck kids on the regular over there? XD
When my first girlfriend of 2 weeks dumped me in 8th grade I changed my Myspace page song to “Gives You Hell” by The All American Rejects….Im sure that really ripped her up inside
You joke about Anne Frank being in a love poem, but Neutral Milk Hotel has a thing or two to say about that.
Dude by the end of high school I was so good at it I had a PHD in FriendZone
God damn I’m dying laughing at Shane’s shame of the love poems. Mostly because it’s so relatable, ohh my
This podcast is happiness for some of us in the most miserable situations. God Bless America 🇺🇸
After 25, if someone is doing coke around you, the proper response is, "Get the fuck away from me."
bro what the fuck im at work high as fuck with an airpod in was not expecting an actual representation🤣🤣🤣
FAHRENHEIT 451 LOVE LETTERS ARE CRAZYYY😭😭😭
I was only in 4th grade but I always think about this, I wrote a poem for a girl and gave it to my friend to give to her. The poem had a note at the end where I told her to meet me at a specific spot in the recess yard, I was hiding behind a tree and I was gonna come out and confess my love to her but she brought her friends to the spot and I had no clue what to do. With my incredible decision-making skills, I decided that running away and screaming was the best choice to make.
This is one of my all time favorite mssp clips 😂
Thank *GOD* there was no Internet when I was in high school to eternally save my shame...
Mechanical hound gotta be a reference to Fahrenheit 451
"Listener, do you have any gay poems?"
Too many, Shane, too many 😔
Every one of those poems ends up making crinkly noises as she rides the new bull😄
I wrote a poem for my first gf about the night we met (we were very drunk) and I compared it to being on a sinking ship (foreshadowing).
In 5th grade I wrote a love letter to some girl. It was bad. Im still friends with her to this day and she brings it up when hanging out and I just say ..STOP. I'm a grown ass man now ..I can't have people out here knowing about that shit.
I was talking to this girl for about a month when she asks me to go to this get together with her and her friends. I get drunk for the first time and become unbearable. I had some goji berries and repeatedly kept asking her if she wanted gooch berries, that’s when I heard her say under her breath in the most annoyed voice “Jesus this was a mistake”, and my response was to talk to her in private and apologize while crying. I’m cringing as I type this.
1996 in 6th grade, I gave a girl handwritten lyrics to “Love Bites” by Def Leppard. I had no idea what in the fuck I was doing, and she never brought it up.
I never wrote poetry but I did write a Minecraft fanfiction when I was 13. I wish I had it just so I could destroy it.
I wrote a girl I knew for 4 months a 9 page, handwritten letter on full-size notebook paper when I was 21. Funny, I write "when I was 21" as if I'm not currently 22. In my defense, it was well received and had it's intended effect.
For only being 22 you have an excellent grasp of punctuation and prose. Most kids I know your age can’t even type words out in text messages.
The difference between cringe and romantic is the same as the difference between high risk arbitrage and financial fraud
Don’t worry there will be more things to look back on and cringe when you turn 23
I wrote a girl poetry one time and read it to her. This was way too recently. I ended up marrying her but it still keeps me up at night.
The dogs are on the trail now 😂
When I was in middle school I was the kid that smoked weed at wayyyy to young of an age and thought I was cool af. I have probably done something like this but luckily my brain has buried it
These were the best days of the pod
Broke into an exs locker and left flowers and a love letter😭😭😭i was a senior in highschool. Im still embarrassed.
Giving 'Line' coach a whole new meaning.
my god… in seventh grade and 8th i swore i was a poet 😭😭 i used to write poems for this Now slut back then and everytime i think abt it i wanna die
God damn, I cannot listen to this and smoke bongs... Fucking bong water everywhere out the stem 😂😂😂😭😭😭
Man, I had a bad impression of Shane at first, but he seems like a good dude
Us dawgs are on the trail already dont worry bud.
fun fact he’s now the Offensive line coach for the 49ers
the worst i did was in a weird drunken depressive episode.
asked a girl to take me back, then called her an evil bitch, then cried and asked for forgiveness. All in the span of an hour over 3 back to back voicemails.
I blocked her number the next day and nearly died of cringe.
A "Line" coach. It was right there!!
Little under a year ago I was getting a lil hype listening to patrice O neal and after a few brewskis I messaged a crush of mine that lived in another state talking I like you and this and this. Literally In my mind I was like worst she could say is no and we move on. Not only did she say no she offered to introduce me to her ugly ass boyfriend. Reality at its finest. I didnt even respond just was kinda shook🤣 if you fucked up an opportunity or relationship let it be unless you know for sure🤣🤣
supportive story about my own life that is related to this clip.
Incredible photoshop
“Internet dating is weird until you get head and then it’s like ‘whoa, this is sick’“
On my way to my football game, but had to squeeze in the fellas on the bus ride 😎
That guys our coordinator now lol
I am dying listening to this, story of my recent life 😂😂
I think Shane’s poems are so Romantic. What a sweet guy. 🥰
Best photoshop to date😂
Shane wrote some "pomes" lmao
In Detroit during the Kwame Kilpatrick days, the news was gold. “The mayor responds: “hell yeah””
"Is weird until you get head" hahaha
Do the thing that's gonna embarrass you so you develop leather skin, it sucks when it happens but you get to a point where you find it absolutely hilarious lol
"Mechanical Hound"- Shane Gillis...with love 😂😂😂
It’s funny he said “I know we can’t do this cause your gonna keep the baby” like what😂