BONUS EPISODE Q&A: What's your greatest relationship frustration?
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- čas přidán 30. 06. 2024
- Suzanne answers questions from listeners, email subscribers, and even former coaching clients about their biggest relationship concerns.
MARRIAGE OR RELATIONSHIP TROUBLES? Sign up here for coaching with Suzanne: www.suzannevenker.com/coaching/
This particular video is SO telling of the times we are living in. The first girl loves the guy she is with and wants to have kids with him, but is concerned about his income. $60k is pretty standard. But going back to a recent video you did, she most likely doesn't want to make any sacrifices to have those kids.
The second is the opposite. She doesn't love the guy, but he is stable (most likely financially)
The end question is the culmination of all of this. Going back to the 3rd question about religion, to the point you made about boomers not wanting to be parents. Something I can personally verify. My boomer mom ALWAYS used to tell me "don't ever get married or have kids". We don't know how to have relationships because we weren't taught how to.
So what you get is the end listeners question. The result of young people not knowing what to do, and turning to any source they can to try and figure this out.
What a mess this has all become. I give you credit for trying, Susan. But it is certainly difficult to be optimistic about the future of relationships between men & women.
Why pay for a masters degree if you want to be a stay home mom - What's the percentage of happy women with a man that makes much less than she does?
An option that Susan even mentioned is to run a business while at home. Women going to grad school and then becoming stay at home moms are nothing new. It had been more popular in higher society. Also, people can have a change of heart. They could also have met their future spouse in grad school.
$60k isn't bad at all unless they're living in a high cost of living area.
Also..she’s 25 so he’s what, 27? He’s definitely above average for his age. Expectations too high
Great format!
8:19 My great aunt / my grandma sister became a millionaire before the age of 30 in the late 1940 or early 1950s. She sold a snack food business and sold it to Frito-Lay and then invested her money into Coke and Pepsi and still had time to have a family and have 5 kids.
Where was her husband?
@@chuck1052 I don't know a whole lot since I was not born yet! But he was there with the family until he got kill in the 1960s in his jet. They lived on the Lake in Lake Michigan. She was not as materialistic she lived a modest life after he died. I spent time with her till 2016 when she died at 99
If you are not attracted to him, there is no desire? Get out, let him go. I stayed with someone whom now i see that she wasn’t that into me. Ws should have stopped dating after year 1 instead of wasting 5 years.
Your four C’s are interesting. Chemistry, compatibility, communication, and commitment. I don’t disagree. I’ve always phrased it as three C’s. Cohabitation, companionship, and coparenting.
It's not 3 C's anymore. In The Tick-Tock era. it's the three S's 6 inch penis, six pack abs, and 6 Figure income
In the past I would have jumped to conclusions about caller 1 and wrote her off as materialistic. Now I just have questions.
Personally, if I was her age. I would rather be with a guy who makes $60k and says he supports my decision to be a SAHM than one who makes more, like $80-100k, and still insists I “pull my weight” by staying in a full time job even once the kids come. These same men seem completely clueless as to what the juggle entails and don’t contribute equally to the household and childcare duties. They want the stereotypical “girl boss” who is also the default parent and homemaker.
On to my questions: does the caller not believe her boyfriend when he says he supports her decision to be a SAHM? Does she believe he’s simply telling her what she wants to hear? Does her boyfriend seem complacent with his earnings with no plans for advancement? Why is she investing in a Master’s Degree when she knows she wants to be a SAHM? Does the think it might help with homeschooling? Does she want to maximize her earnings before the kids come?
She might have unrealistic expectations for household income or she may have some very legitimate concerns about the compatibility with her boyfriend. My guess is she suspects he’s telling her what she wants to hear and she doesn’t completely trust his words. If that’s the case, she could be right.
Wow! $60k is a lot of money. How is that not enough to be a stay at home mom? We make it work on much less. Interesting
Yup, be a Wife, and he Will bring more.
I think a lot of young couples want to have a home before they have kids. I wouldn't want to raise kids in an apartment building.
And I live in a smaller Midwestern town there's no cheap housing here anymore. You can't hardly Get a fixer-upper for less than $200,000.
@sitka49 I’m a 25 year old young man and my fiancé and I had a discussion on this yesterday. We were counting on getting a house before we had kids but thankfully I listened to Suzanne when she said “don’t make decisions that require 2 incomes when you’re only going to have 1”. We want kids soon, and we want my fiancé to be able to stay home, so we’re really going to be cutting it only on my salary which is about 45k. Needless to say, 45k isn’t gonna get you a house. She was pretty upset to hear that we wouldn’t be able to afford one right away. But it made sense to her that we can’t have a house and her stop working.
Now as the man it is my responsibility to work more once we have kids (only work 40hrs right now) so I’m more than willing to bump that up to 55-60 to provide for us, but long story short we’re going to have to live in the RV for awhile longer until my income increases. I’m 25 so I don’t have any crazy expectations for myself or guilt about not earning more at my age (which many women have the expectation of) because most men really start earning from 35-40.
You likely live in a lower cost of living area. Even in a modest cost of living area, I think the 2 of them could live off of his salary while she works full time for 1 or 2 years before having kids and banks her entire take home pay. She claims her earning potential is higher than his. But potential isn’t a guarantee.
I’m left wondering if she has some gut feeling that this guy simply isn’t compatible with her for whatever reason. Maybe he’s complacent with 60k and doesn’t have any belief or desire to earn more. Maybe he’s telling her what she wants to hear about supporting her decision to stay home and could change his mind after “tying her down”.
@@AngelaMastrodonato The average salary nationwide in the US, according to a study done by Forbes as of 2022 $59,428 average income.12% of *households* have income between $75k and $99,999.
I think I heard it was like 64% of people make at or under median income. Because it doesn't take as many high earner individuals to throw the number's off.
( Not everyone can be a engineers' or doctor's. We need auto mechanics, factory workers, school teaches too.)
So her boyfriend fiance is making average salary in the US. maybe if he's willing to get a second job? If he's a teacher and off in the summer he could do something like landscaping,or seasonal work?
It seems that families are borrowing money out their retirement more than ever.The number of people taking hardship distributions increased 36% year-over-year, after increases in the first quarter this year.
I don't honestly know how families make ends meet now days?
A i will take care of these collece degrees good iuck ladies
Woman #1: a man’s good character is irrelevant, until he earns notably above the average salary. It’s all about the MONEY!
I hope that good man finds a more worthy woman.
I'm not sure it's as much about the money as it is lifestyle, and I honestly thnk money correlates with that.
There was another woman on another episode of Susan Venker, disappointed because before her and her husband got married, he said he supported her decision to be a SAHM, only for him to backpedal after they got married.
Caller 1 could be dealing with subconscious concerns about her boyfriend’s character but can’t put her finger on what her concern is. Her gut could be suggesting this guys not sincere or he seems too complacent in his career path. Or she could have unrealistic lifestyle expectations. There are too many unknowns to say for sure
Just lea e u have already made ur choi e average kncome 40,ooo a year
Masters degree in what?? Social work with tons of debt??? She sounds delusional. I hope that man finds better. Please don’t damage more men.
It depends. My wife has an MSW with an Elementary Education certificate and is one of the highest paid in the school district.
No debt either.
Of course, we are close to retirement. But she's not been earning poverty wages for the past 20 years.
@@buffuniballer I had a bachelors in social work in NYC, the only women who i knew with Masters degrees in social work that were happy, were married and their husband paid their bills.
@@fionared8240 okay?
I was speaking more about the pay aspect of things.
I do think my wife's life has been better since we met 19 years ago. We both had former spouses who were "problematic" to be brief.
Yet we were both in our late 30s to early 40s when we married. So we both had established careers, etc.
My point isn't about what it takes to find happiness. I would question anyone who is selling a "one size fits all" approach.
My wife will retire with a pension in the next year or two, and me shortly after that.
Kids are gone and we get to travel when not working. Even more travel when we both retire.
That last woman needs to live on her own.
Even if she's going to be with that man (I doubt it) she needs to know she can do this on her own before she pairs with a man.
She was 18 when she met this guy given she said she was 20 now. She needs to know who SHE is. Sounds like her home life wasn't good.
Is she just jumping from one bad situation to another?
Live on her own so she knows what she wants/needs before hitching her wagon to the first man who will take her in.