9 Habits that Make People Instantly Dislike You - How to NOT Win Friends and Influence People
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- čas přidán 11. 09. 2024
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What's up guys! :) Thought I'd revisit this book and talk about the most important ideas... The steps are based on the following principles:
Step 1: Be a good listener.
Step 2: Don't criticize, condemn or complain.
Step 3: Instead of criticism, use encouragement and appreciation.
Step 4: Smile.
Step 5: Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
Step 6: Become genuinely interested in other people.
Step 7: Make the other person feel important.
Step 8: If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
Step 9: Talk in terms of the other person's interests / arouse in the other person an eager want / try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.
If you want to get the book, affiliate link: amzn.to/1V0pI5z
Cheers! :)
hey man love your videos. liking the new style in this one.
is this video a response video of SeeKen channel?
love this book and your channel!!
I liked the video. Keep up the good work. Innovative way of expressing thoughts
+FightMediocrity Awesome as usual :) The title has a nice ring too it :P Thanks for clarifying the points here, I had a hard time reversing what was being said haha
The sarcasm is real in this one.
spurs4lyf2006 maybe he was pissed ?
Lol lol lol lol lolllllll
I love the point you made in number 6. I spent a lot of time reading books, not doing anything and feeling like I made progress, and than I convinced myself that I was now superior to others because I knew things they didn't, it was just a cycle of mental masturbation. In reality I needed more action and far less theory.
As a superhero in training, I fully endorse this video. Showing the books principles in reverse is an effective way in showing people that their shooting themselves in the foot by being negative and self centered. By the way, I love this channel. One of the many that inspired me to create my channel. Keep up the great work!
+Heroic Concepts "... in showing people that their shooting themselves in the foot by being negative and self centered."
Amen. I wish more people would understand this.
+Heroic Concepts a superhero eh? whats your power?
The power to help people to win the internal war we all face on a daily basis. I use the term "superhero" as a metaphor for rising above the norm and being the best version of yourself. It's not something that you are, but rather something that you strive to be when the time calls for it.
Heroic Concepts ah youre not a vigilante, just vigilant
cruhg Yeah that's pretty accurate, cruhg.
Loved the way you focused on doing everything the other way round.
it is almost funny to hear things from this perspective, or maybe sad, but its the way many people live
Right? When I think about how many people I have encountered like this it’s sad! But this video is so funny!
This was the most appealing video for me in a while. I was to hard focused on work and now I realize I've probably hurt a lot of people in my circle of friends. Thank you
That point..
If you're a sociopath you can do most of this and still make people love you. They have it all
The reason for this is that sociopaths generally have personalities that are like forces of nature and are very entertaining. Outside of a professional environment, probably the worst thing a person can be (socially speaking) is boring. Of course sociopaths (or narcissists) generally lose their appeal once the glamour wears off.
Crap. I can count a few that i do.
Sam
then why dont you change them? as strivvers said, an amazing reply. dont lose hope ever.
+Jimmy Papas Yeah, we all got to take action to get better!
+Ancient laws
Step 2: Don't ... complain.
+Ancient laws
so can I xD
I think there's a point to be made that everyone does these things occasionally; we all have our ups and downs, and just because one tries to be good doesn't mean that he or she will successful in that pursuit in every situation.
OMG..... This describes a lot of people ' I know'. A lot! I see it all the time.
You are describing 99% of Generation Y.
This showed me how much I need to work on myself as a person.
Or find work✔
We love the new hand-drawn whiteboard "animations". Great videos!
I prefer the old animation style but the content is as good as always!
+ObtainEudaimonia Exactly!
this is way better animation. the old style was crappy clipart and the same generic clips had to be reused again and again. this is much better
Legend says if u r early, fight mediocrity will reply to ur comment. !!
+Chirag Jeswani
+FightMediocrity Great vid as always! Left a comment on one of your previous videos about small business consulting. Do you offer it? If yes, please contact me at doc@drphoenyx.com. I'd love to speak with you.
+FightMediocrity hey awesome guy, sorry for interrupting you but.... everything ok with your career decisions?
+Chirag Jeswani Yes Legend does say that
Forgetting people's names is one of my biggest weaknesses. Need to work extra hard on this one.
+Joe Buza What I do is as soon as someone tells me their name I try to immediately associate it with a famous celebrity or such. I also try to drop it a few times later in the night to make it stick and show them I took the time to remember it.
What the hell are you talking about? The comment was about meeting people and remembering names. Give him some tips, not condemn him for not knowing people on a "non verbal level."
I like the new dry erase look! I watched your other videos on this book (even binged your channel) , but this one really drives the point home. Please keep up the awesome work and know that you are impacting others positively. Thank you.
great video! I am guilty of saying "I am not good with names." lol
Lol same
+Mirza Borogovac A good fix is to reframe your sentence every time you catch yourself saying/thinking your old problem-focused thoughts or words. "I'm not good with names ... but I am working hard to fix that." (if you catch yourself at the end), or "I'm getting better at remembering other people's names every day!".
The other trick when you learn a name is to really try and imagine what it would be like if you were that person. What would it feel like to be them? What was their day like? What's important to them? I'm telling ya it helps :)
P.S. I normally try and ask people if they want my opinion before doing the more rude thing and just giving it, but this forum doesn't really allow for easy flow of back-and-forth conversation. Hope some of this is helpful and not just annoying, brother!
Christopher Wild Thank you. Best method I found to remember someone's name is to actually pay attention and then to repeat it. Some visualization also helps. I use those methods much of the time, but. as with many things, I need to make it a habit.
I am going to try your method of imagining myself being that person.
Its sad that there are videos out there with billions of views, yet this video can change someone's life but doesn't even hit a quarter of one million. That to me is insane. I hope that there is more awareness soon, this is so helpful.
Progression is key. listen even when you don't want to listen. Learn even if you think you know. Be humble in your lifelong journey. #MP
That was awesome! I loved the different perspective on things. Thanks!
Literally LOL'd at the "Sorry, I'm not good with names" part. People really do see it as a "magic sentence"... it's used so much it's cliche!
Awesome video. A new perspective of the same book is great! Very cool to see my name in your video too! :)
Finally! Watched all of your videos already and I am happy to see another one. Keep it up brother
+Angelo Est (gelo) One of the best channels I know.
Love the format of this lol Actually reminds me a lot of growing up in the Yugoslavia war times, and how people interacted with each other.
Wow, I actually caught myself doing some of these towards the end so thank you for making this video. It was more helpful than the former for me.
Great Video!
This perspective of "what not to do", helps to understand what you might be doing wrong when dealing with people, even better.
You seem like a very honest and genuine person, you even mention that your links are affiliate links.
Thanks.
Thanks so much! I have been grappling with the idea of authenticity and the techniques in How to Win Friends and the 48 Laws of Power. I'm not sure how or if they're supposed to work together. This video put it in a different light :)
Hi there,
You're doing an awesome work, flipping it so that people could really see themselves in it is a good idea. I think I'm not the only one that loves your videos! Can you please think of making one for the book "Rework" by Jason Fried.
I have most of your videos on my tablet, and I watch them very often. They help me revise quickly and accurately a book. Just keep on doing what you're doing and one day you'll be at the 1million subscribers plato and will be featured in many television shows. Good stuffs speaks for themselves!
Hey man, I was watching your videos for a good of 4 hours now. THIS one is my favorite by far! LOL Amazing videos and profitable incredible knowledge all over! Thanks for putting these together! It's really great :) Keep on doing that ! - Pat
Step 5 is something I have a genuine issue with, I always remember a face but names have always eluded me, and it’s not through a lack of effort or interest.
One of the best and most successful bosses I've ever had could remember every customer's name along with all of their kid's names. It was a sight to behold. She was one of the most charismatic people I've ever met. She left a long lasting impression on me of how to run a business.
I followed all of your advice and I lost my only two friends and also got demoted at work. Wow, this stuff seriously works!
I'm NOT good with names, and whenever I asked someone's name more than twice, I usually feel way too embarassed to request it yet again. I secretly and anxiously wait for someone else to eventually mention it instead. It's not like I'm not trying!
This is perfect reminder to check yourself. I've been working on a large, difficult project recently and I've started to behave a bit like this. Thanks for the wake up call!
I'm guilty of a few of these... Depression and anxiety have been a huge burden for so long, it's time own my flaws and get better
This is a good one, a little different but gets the same point across as your other video on this subject. Actually it's a little easier to put myself in these shoes and ask if I do these things.
This is my favorite channel on CZcams, keep up the good work!
This is actually great advice! I truly find people lately are monotonous, mediocre and ultimately will turn on you, so why try to gain their approval?
This made me laugh so hard!!! Congratulations bro, this new negative perspective makes things even more obvious... And the animation is excellent too!!!
That made the steps stick to my head even more.....great job, it really became easier to remember what the book is about.
Thanks my queen for sending me this video, you're absolutely right, the original concepts of the original book now sticks by contrast
Hi @FightMediocrity you are an inspiration to me. I am trying to become as good as you are. Thank you for all your videos :)
and Keep up the good work man!
at first i was thinking that this video would b useless but it is quite the contrary. it makes u understand the lessons in the book even more.
well done brother, great video
Welcome back. I liked the idea of talking about what "not" to do. Animation is fantastic!
indeed optimize
indeed optimize
The book that changed my life forever. Thanks Dale Carnegie.
My weakest one is undoubtable the first one.
I have a bad tendecy to forget listening and use others speaking time to prepare for what genius thing I'm going to say once they're done.
I am extremely happy there is another video from you! Any chance we can get an upload schedule?
Great to have you back man!
Thank you! i was having many problems, very small tickets or non at all, very large raises, people always want to be around me because i was genuinely interested in thier passions and honestly wanted to help them solve their problems. .not expecting anything in return. i am reading a book now by Donald on how to be greedy and always selfish, its helping a lot as well. i would recommend it. its called " How to get what you want by telling people what they want to hear..but not the truth "
Reverse psychology is the best didactic aproach EVER!
Thanks!
I've literally watched all of your videos and read some of the books. Have a book reading list on progress. And this reciprocal approach to the idea is more impacting that the original one. It states what people tend to actually do but giving you a sense of analysis on how negative it can be. Good job though
Your videos are some of the most consistently inspiring/thought provoking videos I have ever seen on youtube.
Honestly, I fell in love with what you´re teaching in your videos... great job!
I need to be better with remembering peoples names. It's tough for me, but it is important.
Me too. 😩😩😩
***** That's are some good ideas. Thanks Strivvers!
Hey man I love your videos. I would be incredibly appreciative if you were to post the music you use on a separate video. It's very relaxing and I feel like it would be excellent for homework and studying. Keep up the great work man
I discovered this channel today and I love it now.
This was an excellent video. I actually had to think about the concepts more because of the format you took. Pretty neat !
another great video, so glad you started posting again, waited for a long time lol
last year in grade 8 I had little friends and it's beacause I was kind of like that now following the advice everything has changes
U know... this is actually a slap in the face. I actually can recognize a few of these points. Not all, but yeah who knows if I am blind for those few points I missed. But until now I attract people in a weird way and don't push them away.
Thanks for this video. Now I can go out there and loose all my friends and connections!
I enjoyed number 7, while drinking a beer. Yeah, it's true that even if you don't like the authorities, you gotta speak their language at times rather than rant toward those you don't like. Villainizing others, authorities or not, will make them villains in your world. Relentless complaining gets you nowhere, but if you want to get ahead, working on the vernacular is important. :)
I really love this channel. Its truly changed me as a person. Keep up the fantastic work and I hope to see you get the recognition you deserve.
I want to hear your thought on the issue of being too personable. In the past year or so, using many of the resources you have recommended, I now have a lot of people vying for my attention and time. I'd love to talk to all of them and be as personable as I can be, but it's getting to be too much. What resources or experiences can you share on choosing how to say "no" to people in the social sense, like "I'm sorry, I just don't have the time." Thank you so much, please keep up the awesome work!
A novel, amusing, and brilliantly conceived perspective on Carnegie's sage teachings!👍🏽
I don't FORGET someone's name. Sometimes I just can't REMEMBER at that moment.. it can even be a person I've known since a young age and haven't seen them in years!
Big problem about "being good with names": in my country there is a list of about 300 names, and that's all that is legal to use. When I go to conventions or academic events, I know everyone's nickname. EVERYONE. And they are pretty big communities comparing to the 30 people I have class with everyday, but to me, memorizing 3 Johns, 9 Annes and 6 Mariannes is simply ridiculous (THIS IS A TRUE STORY). I know their faces but not their names because there is no individuality at all to them! Specially in college! Who is Rita! There is like 10 of them! And next year I'm changing classes and 10 more Ritas will come! Sometimes I even give them nicknames to people in my head to make some sense! I don't know how to solve this!
Thanks for your creative ways of showing how to add value. FightMedocrity, you're awesome!
I once had the bizarre experience of having a guy spend an entire evening telling me all about how he is such a good listener!
Great video!
My English teacher at the university used to say to the students: "I won't even try to remember your names, I'd rather remember new english words".
Oh shit, that mad me think now! Love this new format of show what to do if you want to be unsucessful! This shows direct when you behave somewhere wrong! (:
LIKED BEFORE I WATCHED
THATS HOW GOOD THIS CHANNEL IS
this is a great way to teach this stuff! maybe sometimes it clicks better for us humans when we hear the "how not to" instead of the "how to"
well done
so amazing. your work is better and better every time u post. you ate so creative and helpful. BTW I'm currently reading that book.
Holy crap. I just realised how much of a horrible person I am. Thanks FightMediocrity, I really needed this.
You are spot on point about names! Does anyone know that when a solicitor calls you, they start off having to know your name? And the more they say your name, the less resistant you become to their offers. Also when I talk to a customer of mine, I say their name for two reasons. First is because they desire it once they know me. And also, it creates a more personal relationship. But in my world, it is on a one by one basis unlike the internet marketing formula. Very insightful video!
He's spot off about names too, there's nothing horrible about having a lot on your mind and forgetting 2 out of 10 people's names when you don't see them often. In fact to get upset by that is really life among the weak fragile types only.
Did you start drawing the animation yourself? Looks much better than re-using stock images over and over again. Good job.
Concerning the thing about remembering names. How does one get better at that? This is something I constantly struggle with.
Fantastic video, Malkhaz! Ihave also revisited this video after reading it. Great video, I like the new animation style very much, with the white board!!! Keep up the good work, friend!
Dude, this is the most creative way to actually make friends :) very clever from you @FightMediocrity
Thank you for your spectacular service creating these videos, I've watched 5 already and will watch all 70 in the next week. Keep up your great, valuable work.
Must admit, that commentary about other people's hobbies, especially if it's their profession, is pretty true. Can't imagine a person being a bigger pawn in life than making the choice to do sports (which isn't the same as exercise, just to be clear). Yes, I certainly wouldn't win those people as friends; you're right. This applies to any people with significant differences. Point being, not sure it's a relevant example, unless the suggestion is to be absolutely fake with everybody.
I like the new drawing style! Keep up the great work :)
I've missed your videos! Thanks for uploading!!!
Hahaha I like the way you talk about this topic. It's nice to see you try something different in your videos and the cynicism depicted is a great way to make people understand the concept of the book
Always get excited to see a new video from you, great job again.
Great review of Dale Carnegie's book. These techniques to interact with other people are totally true, and will really improve your life in many ways. (Based on real life experiences)
clicked the video because I was hoping this was a critical view of a book that I hate and instead I got this passive agressive message that basically tells people to be manipulative and untruthful.
Wow man, just came across your channel and is just incredible, good work!
very good video brother, it's always good to upgrade your method of animating and do something different :)
I like the reverse psychology . Very funny, yet important steps not to do. Great vid. Thank you.
I'm diggin the dry erase! quality content as always
I'm a Fan of your channel, after watching this video. You got some great content there, mate. All the best for future.
The problem with this book is that it is hard to read at public places. People assume that you're a persom w/o friends. That's really the only problem I can't read this book outside :/
LMFAO how sarcastic :'D It was more like comedy to me. Well done, man! I am in love with your channel
I've read the book. And I feel that this point of view is v effective to get things across to the viewer. It made me realise tiny mistakes that I'm still committing.
Thank you @fightmediocrity
I LOVE the animation style in this one! Hopefully future videos will look this good. Love this content.
The last step was by far the most important!
I've watched a couple of your videos man. This, by far, was one of the best
hiii bro, nice that you are back. i missed your videos
Good to see you back.
Brilliant Idea to turn it around. It makes more sense to me now. Is that strange FightMediocrity?
Thanks. I've always wondered how I can lose peoples respect and push people away. What good are people anyway?