Handling a Narcissistic Grandmother - Terri Cole

Many of you ask me how to protect your children from a narcissistic mother because you don't want her to do to your kids what she did to you.
And yet...there is an element of guilt and shame involved for wanting to cut her off from her grandchildren.
Here's my two cents on what you should do (hint: I am all for prioritizing the safety of you and your kids!).
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About Terri Cole
Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, global relationship and empowerment expert, and the author of Boundary Boss-The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen and (Finally) Live Free.
For over two decades, Terri has worked with a diverse group of clients that includes everyone from stay-at-home moms to celebrities and Fortune 500 CEOs.
She has a gift for making complex psychological concepts accessible and actionable so that clients and students achieve sustainable change. She inspires over 450,000 people weekly through her blog, social media platform, signature courses, and her popular podcast, The Terri Cole Show. For more, see www.terricole.com/
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#narcissisticmother #narcissisticparent #narcissisticabuseawareness

[@mayamartin7359]

Thank you for this Terri. We really need more content on the narcissistic mother as a grandmother! And how to protect our children and navigate/mediate this relationship.
*Could you please elaborate on how to communicate with our children about their grandparent? How to avoid over sharing/overburdening them, and protect them in an age appropriate way - while still equipping them to notice what they must, to avoid getting sucked in and brainwashed/gaslighted?*

[@MiaLa16]

Yes please! I need the same advice

[@terri_cole]

I think this depends on the age of your children and their ability to understand their grandparent’s behavior. I would start from a position of asking the child what they notice and how they feel. You can then focus on validating your child’s feelings and helping them to set boundaries (both internal and external). This might mean less time with the grandparent or time with other people also around. You can do all of that (including the validation) without oversharing about the grandparent, making it about your experience with that parent, or even talking poorly about the parent in an indulgent way. This will also help your child to learn to listen to their own instincts and natural boundaries. I hope that helps ❤️

[@johnarc3856]

young children are not equipped for such complexities. they should be kept from manipulative and untrustworthy adults. -Lori

[@Angela-ud8lm]

This is me, I woke up too late in my thirties, and lost both of my adult children -two daughters, estranged to me five years ago. And even more tragically also estranged to each other due to my mother's covert brainwashing and manipulation. She's the matriarch and & i'm the black sheep. All but lost my whole family incl sinlings, in both directions (family of origin and my girls). What a trail of utter destruction her trauma has caused. A large part of a very long dark night of the soul. Thankyou for your important work Terri. 😊

[@terri_cole]

I am witnessing you with so much compassion and sending love to you, Angela 💕

[@briannatilden1740]

Thank you for this encouragement - for me and everyone in a similar situation. It is so hard. Narcissistic parents train you from birth to second guess yourself and your choices ad nauseam, so that you eventually give in to whatever they want. It’s so sticky, and I don’t know how anyone can do it without serious support from those without this “training” to help us see clearly. Thank you for being that for so many of us. ❤

[@terri_cole]

You are so welcome, and thank you for leaving this comment 💕

[@SamFoxStrong]

Thank you so much for this. I am care taking of my grandmother because there is no one else and I’m the grand daughter who’s breaking the generational bs.

[@terri_cole]

I see you 💕

[@LaLumina]

Thank you dear Terri for your healing loving kindness❤step by step, healthy boundry by boundry;-) we are embodying the change we wish to see in the world❤blessings

[@terri_cole]

Thank YOU for being here 💕

[@soulmatesis1]

💜

[@terri_cole]

❤️