When to get back with your ex and when NOT to...and why I DID
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- čas přidán 8. 05. 2023
- Welcome to my youtube page and 7th video in which I talk about when to get back with your ex and when not to, why you should first go "no contact", and what the research says about the best timeframe to get back with an ex and how many rekindled relationships end up happy.
I married my ex, but it was a great thing. We were the right people at the wrong time... when we reconnected we were very different people from the first time. We had matured greatly, and we've been back together 10 years in July and married 9 years in October and our relationship has only gotten better with time. He's my best friend.
I have always been on the side of "you broke up for a reason," but never considered that the reason could simply be timing
@@kevinhook8154 You STILL broke up...timing or no timing. Once it's over, it's over. My ex tried to get me back for years, after treating me like sh*t nearly the whole time we were together. It's like, "you didn't want me THEN suddenly you want me NOW? Get Lost"
How long did you need to grow as individuals before you were able to work on things again?
People can grow and change as they age, and depending on how long it's been since the break, you both might have changed towards each other.
Wonderful...nothing like "finding the right timing", like banging other people before you realized your ex was who you "really loved all along".....give me a break
Tried getting back with an ex, but as soon as I found out she slept with someone after two weeks, that was my deal breaker. It sucks, but it happens. Thank you, Emily. Always putting out top tier content!
I'm in a very similar situation. We were breaking up like 3 times for a short amount of time - we alternately initiated the breakups, then I finally decided that it's enough. She tried to contact me a few times, but I didn't respond. After two months I finally responded. We met just for a short walk and some talk. After a week we started to meet each other again, but I never regained the trust and had the feeling she must have been with someone else already. It came out true. For the first time I let everything out that bothered me with her - to my surprise she didn't go into passive defensive aggression like she used to, but was just apologizing... and this really got me into confusion. She told me that she only did this because she thought I'll never talk to her again, was super drunk and she needed someone... and here the confusion deepens even more, as cheating is a deal breaker for me, but can this be considered as cheating...?
I loved her like I loved no one before, but her actions made me lose that beautiful feeling towards her - not sure if entirely, but for sure I'd like to have her over anyone else. Then at the same time, when back then I struggled after not talking to her for an hour, now I don't feel the need to talk to her for entire days and if I do her previous actions just push me off from contacting her. Not to mention that all the signs in the world, including the start tell me to leave her behind...
@@barthez_sounds like the veil of idealism was lifted off your face. Now maybe you can make a well thought out, mature decision
@barthez_ She only considered you because the people she cheated on you with didn't work out. Never sell yourself short by believing the lies. It's good your gut feeling and intuition led you to the right path about her. It would have been disastrous hooking up again.
yea that’s a red flag. having a 2 week later-rebound by sleeping with them is completely evil when ur literally still stuck on ur ex. i feel bad for both guys in that situation.
I always figure we broke up for a reason...and you get reminded of that reason eventually
you always get reminded
That’s exactly what I told her when she tried getting back with me.
Sometimes that reason is just that you made a mistake because you were young and dumb.
@@Milehighsnake98 yea, and sometimes you both improve and can give it another shot, dont think all negative guys, improve
This is just my anecdotal experience but in my past relationships from a male perspective I found that getting back with an ex is a terrible idea 100% of the time. First, you have that if the relationship has degraded to the point you imagine life better without them, then it's time to move on. And unfortunately a bigger issue for men is that almost always when a woman breaks up it's because she has another man on the side who she thinks could potentially be better than you. She will always try to hide this fact but if you pay attention you can pick up on the signs. I have had girlfriends try to re enter my life sometimes after 2 weeks, sometimes after years and what I always discovered was that the man she dumped me for never panned out which is why she came back, not because she loved me or cared about me but because her ego couldn't accept being rejected so she goes back to someone to make her feel good about herself again.
Know your worth as a person and don't take someone back who treats you as disposable and only comes back when they feel lonely.
This is where I’m weighing in as well. Once you align yourself with some other person then I see no point in rekindling things
"in my past relationships" yeah looks like you are the problem
I agree . While men and women do it, I think women are more likely to have that other relationship they are building or managed to park some how... so they can dump you when they think its a go. Smart Guys know it can happen to them too. .. no guy is immune.
Agreed.
I think this is the exact scenario I went thru
Nice video. Went 10 months of no contact. She came out of the blue. We got back together for 90 days. On Thanksgiving day she said I need to distance myself from you. That was 3 years ago and she has ghosted ever since. Sure I miss her but it isn't worth the drama. We were married for 8 years and dated for 8 years. Hope she is happy being an alcoholic and diagnosed with BPD. One thing have learned whatever the issues were to break up these all resurface and its best to move on.
Jesus christ man, congrats on the divorce.
Hope you all the best, and that you find someone better.
Yeah cause who wouldnt be Happy beeing diagnosed with BPD😍 i can See why she gosted you and i Hope she never start to have any contact with you ever again🥰
@@lisa3341 Brainlet comment tbh. Dude gets ghosted but it's somehow it's fault?
I too hope she never talks to him again, leave the man in peace ffs.
An ex wants you back when she realizes nobody else wants her and her options have left the chat. She will be bitter and feel she settled for you. I’ve done it and never will again. When I’m gone I’m GONE.
Good man.
Lol, projecting much xD
@@whfh178 nope. Back to dating foreign women
@@theaspiecoach5934 oh...well idk where you're from, but im not from the usa and we're not like that in my country so 🤷🏻♀️
@@whfh178 precisely why I won't marry in the USA
A month?! Ahhh, it takes much longer than that to really reflect deeply on something, come up with ideas on how to address problems and implement the solutions to become habits that display real personal growth in areas that were lacking in the relationship. I’m not against getting back together with an ex but in my situation there was alcoholism involved and it’ll probably take her years to sort out the issues that have led to her drinking. I’m thinking a six month minimum of no contact before I would be open to a conversation. In that conversation, I need to hear the mind of a lot of changed perspectives and a more positive view on the things from her past that tormented her throughout our relationship. I’m expecting it to be a few years before I would consider giving it a second chance.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back
@@grotmg Wow, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?
@@jamessmith-ds1ww Her name is Chamani White, and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
@@grotmg Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
And this is probably why she left you. If you're this lost and needy without her then u probably were like this in the relationship
She most likely lost respect for u. It sucks homie...but you gotta get your spine back.
Magical spiritual counseling isn't going to help you homie. You need to qirk on yourself
Excellent content, super real as always. Your compassion, candor, and openness are incredibly rare on the Internet. Appreciate you helping everyone and exposing yourself to the negative side of the Internet. Positive thoughts for everyone close to you and you.
I like the fact that you said self reflection is key and that even a short time apart, a pause if you will, is not a bad thing. That gave me permission to have space without losing the relationship and the person I love. My whole outlook has changed because of that one statement. I always thought that if you need space the relationship is doomed if not at the moment but in the future as well. ❤❤❤
I honestly wasn’t sure what to surmise about you in the beginning but I feel you have some rock solid advice!! Thank you!
Turns out your a pro. Shit happens. You owned it. All good. We all want to be perfect, but it's a tough job that most ppl don't appreciate it. Thanks for your openness
I love the concept of "no contact" after a break-up, especially if it's permanent. 😸
Each situation has its own commonalities and it's own uniqueness. Generalizations are not a good idea. I'm only a few minutes into this vide
but am Thrilled that Emily is back with her ex. Personally I have never un-loved anyone I've loved. I've never thought "What was I thinkin????!!" when looking
back on past loves. Regardless of hard times and eventual partings, my fondness for the him remains.
Thank you Emily for all your wonderful shorts and videos. I am a white female elder who's been a defender of the male all my life. Discovering you
was the Eureka! I'd longed for. Understanding men, and holding my entitled sisters accountable is very high in value and interest.
I have been having difficulties with my marriage for sometimes now but with the help of this Sorceress, I have been able to put my marriage back together.
@Casey Muller Her name is Luana Kae Branigan.
Emily... Rule #1... There are NO RE-DOs... Period.
Damn skippy
I’m not against getting back with your ex if you know/understand the reasons you broke up, AND you both have done the necessary work to make yourselves better humans.
I’ve been divorced almost 2 years now and I’m hoping one day I can get back with my ex. I’ll admit I was not a good husband to her and didn’t treat her right, mainly because I never addressed the trauma I suffered as a child. Since my divorce, I’ve done nothing but work on myself and I’m hoping one day it’ll help me get back with her.
That being said, I am fully aware that the odds are not in my favor. However, that’s not going to stop me from continuing to better myself and put myself in a position for an amazing relationship, regardless if it’s with my ex or someone new. I’ll be honest though, a relationship with someone new (was with my ex for almost 15 years) is pretty scary to me.
good for u. most women don’t deal with men that are willing to change because of them and put in the effort. a lot of guys just want to find a woman that’ll “put up with them”. imagine how lucky a woman would be for a guy to change for her, a lot of women envy and are jealous of that when they see a man change like that for her.
Excellent convo. A great video to reference. 💯 about the reasons and stats. I’ve heard about no contact, but only in context of toxic, narcissistic or abusive relationships.
In my adult experience, the default option for failed and/or interrupted relationships has been, and always will be, not to reengage with an ex. For me personally, it has everything to do with self-respect, common sense, dignity and self-preservation.
That said, there are exceptions to every rule. I did briefly make the effort to rekindle an interrupted relationship with a wonderful young woman because the physical attraction was strong. In that post-college relationship, I was the "other guy" so my "ex-pectations" (pun intended) were relatively low and held in check by her inability/unwillingness to choose. She was genuinely conflicted, so I eventually tried to make her heart grow fonder with an absence. Didn't happen, so I gracefully bowed-out.
What I have seen in my life is, women who break up the relationship already has someone they are pursuing. When men and women spend more time together in the workplace than with their partner, the woman starts thinking she might be able to do better than her partner. In today's world, after a breakup, most women have at least one sexual encounter in less than a month.
Yessir.
I disagree, a low or mid quality woman will do this. A quality woman will go fins herself again instead of redirecting the pain.
Omg. Men have side chicks as a general rule. Sometimes several.
What??
Most women, who? The ones you go after?
Sounds like a you problem. I know plenty of women like myself that stay single for years after a break up. Maybe go after different options.
When you open the fridge to get that nice cold drink of milk only to find it’s gone sour, putting it back in the fridge for 1 week or 6 months is not going to change the fact that it’s sour.
I’ve gotten back into several broken relationships only to find out in the 1st 20 minutes why I broke up with them in the 1st place.
Lastly, WADR, I can’t see how someone can “change” in only 1 week… true change will take years and it comes in 3 stages:
1) Pain … enough pain that know that there needs to be a change.
2) Awareness… you have to take the time to get enough awareness of what needs changing
3) Courage.. This is the big one. So many get to (1) and (2), but just never have the courage to change.
After all, whatever needs changing is just as a much a part of you as your right arm.
And then there is the fact that maybe YOU are not the one that needs to change. 🤔
57 year old man here marrying for the first time next year.
Listen closely because I’m going to tell you something that is not only the truth, but will alter the trajectory of your life forever. Should you deny this truth, you will regret it and now that you have heard it you will always remember it and you are accountable for all the consequences.
Having sex before marriage is working against your own self and best interest.
That’s the rule. As a person who has done this (after a lifestyle of not), I’m telling you it is not only NOT difficult, it is beneficial beyond words or explanation. But, let’s address one thing you can relate to. The bonding of sex and the trauma, loss, suffering and pain when that relationship ends.
Repeating that causes changes in you that affects your future.
Once you and your partner are on board with the same value and it’s normal, the focus is on love and health. Sex is designed to bond and express love and commitment. And other use is abuse of self, the other and the action.
Try it and you will believe. It will change your life and your relationships. Stop the body counts and the self sabotage of your life and another’s.
it took a year to get over my ex. But after seeing your videos, I was 100% correct and glad it's over.
Thank you for this video I was thinking about getting back together with her until this video. She has been with multiple men and you have given me clarity for why not to❤
After watching this and thinking back through my past relationships, I've never thought of getting back with ex's. The break ups are for a reason. However, been in situations with some of them where we've ended sleeping together months or even years post break up and then go our separate ways again with no dramas. These were the ex's I had amicable splits with. Bizarrely we tended to get on well apart than as a couple back together.
I recently experienced love at first sight, which I wasn't sure I believed in before it happened to me. It was like a drug experience. The amount of Oxytocin my brain released was more than ever in my life. The feeling of walking away from her was like I had just experienced a break up with a year or longer girlfriend. The Oxytocin withdrawl hit me immediately as I left. I think now love is a drug, and sometimes we just want our fix. Which is why we'll try and get back with an ex because sometimes it's all about that chemical addiction.
Might she feel the same? Did you guys get to talk?
@@Apo12345 the second time I saw her we had another moment where we both started talking and then stopped so the other could talk, and just stood there looking into each others eyes. I finally asked her out later but she said no. Missed my moment.
No such thing. Thats lust/infatuation.
I think I have experienced love at first sight too…he was not sexy as he was wearing a halloween costume and his face was covered completely by painting
I love your videos on good men. Thank you for seeing the heart of a man.
I really like your attitude. Follow your heart. We are responsible for our actions and appreciate your advice. Thank you
Every relationship is different. A girl broke up with me, and a month or so later i dropped her stuff off that was at my house. That began a very enjoyable casual relationship for 6 months or so, because we had no hard feelings against each other. When my most recent ex broke up with me, i knew we would never get back together because of her steadfastness with decisions and because I knew i would never trust her again. Its really a case-by-case basis. Really enjoy your videos, keep it up!
Agreed, it all depends on persons core values, and those usually cant be changed.
I did..We've been married for 23 years now...gets better everyday. Truly
Wow ❤
Yes long time is good with no contract
I'm not even sure what will happen but it's worth the effort if you put in the work
You have lovely feminine energy and beautiful hair. Thanks for this great upload.
I think it's unhealthy to go no contact in a relationship where you love someone. You talk and work through problems instead of separating because of a problem, don't talk about it, and come back without fixing the original problem. Communication is vital. If it gets to the point where there is no contact, just leave it alone and move forward
Some relationships have poor communication tho, and usually one person wants to talk, and that is the person that wants to work on the relationship and fix issues, all while other person either disregards issues, tells the other person they are taking it too seriously or are making a bear out of a mouse.
In that case, after trying to communicate MULTIPLE and I mean 20+ times, and no change is being made, just go no contact.
Your voice sounds like Lillie Kane. She's another CZcamsr. She's a high energy, upbeat health and nutrition influencer. When I first saw your clips, I thought you were her. You have a great channel. Keep up the good work.
Thanks for sharing.
I'm not one for emotion-fueled rash decisions of that magnitude.
I'm a firm nay.
Nice video! Can you maybe put the study in the description? Its always nice to just skimm trough a mentioned study aswell. :)
Stay away from ex at all costs. No hope for anyone else. Staying single is much better.
Honestly, staying single is not healthy
@@ErinBoyce i wish someone could love me 😢❤️
The way to deal with a woman is if you really fallen in love with her leave her now only keep a woman around that you don't care if she leaves
If it's necessary to separate to find yourself, to heal without the partner, it means that it's better to stay alone, twice I was asked to have some time to think, so I broke up, if she wants someone better, she's free to chase. At first it's painful, but it's the only way.
There’s many channels with advice on how to heal and breakup advice.
My favorite is heal with Darlene.
Never reach back to an ex. NEVER. Heal, suffer and move on. Re-rig your fishing pole and cast again.
Yes. There is plenty of fish in the sea and if you're not willing to go fishing again you'll never now what great fish you could be missing out on.
To each their own. For me once it is over it is over forever.
It depends why you split up. I have had long distance relationships where only logistics go in the way and made it impractical. However, I would recommend you write down why you split up wiht someone - hence, if you do feel sentimental, you can take a reality check as it is very unlikely they will have changed if you get back together and you must have reasons that are clearly resolved, e.g. they now live closer to you!
Great video, and a most marvelous subject. Please talk to us more about "ghosting", please. Thank you, thank you, ma'am, if you hold it is relative here.
Went no contact for 4 months, hit her up to "bury a hatchet" from the relationship, starting catching up, then talking a little. Went on a date, scheduled another one for a Saturday night and she flaked last minute for a night out with someone else. Called her out for the flaking, she said I was acting like a prick and we ended it right there.
Lesson learned: Never try again with an ex.
You shouldn’t break no contact. She should contact you
Don’t you ever take anyone back after he/she treated you poorly. It was insulting to even hear that suggestion from my ex. He/she thinks you are the “perfect idiot” or believes his/her behavior shouldn’t have any consequences.
My ex broke up with me because she started meeting with someone else.. After 3 days no talking she asked me "how am I".. I didn't respond nothing.. She get angry and she "why I need to be like that".. For me is a big red flag of narcissistic behavior.. And after few weeks she started telling storys to everyone around how bad I am.. She jump already to another relationship when I am still trying to heal myself and figure it out what actually happened.. And try to understand it.. To move on and not make the same mistakes in future..
I support it, if the things that caused a split are being worked out and both miss each other, why not?
Never got through the trash after you have taken it to the curb. It's messy, The neighbors see you do it, and whatever you were looking for is never worth it - Rollo Tomassi.
Lol!!!!!! Thats a great way to put it!!!!
One issue you left out that I think is an important issue to address is that if one or both problems had alcohol or addiction issues... that can be a trecherous path with serious red flags that must be addressed!
First of all you BOTH need to be sober at least one year, no if ands or buts!!!
These can be potentially good relationships, but all the issues that were masked by the addiction MUST be addressed first!
Ugh, after 23 years-long relationship, we have been in no contact for 2 months... yes, I still want her back and have been focusing on improving myself so that when I do start dating not only will she think twice about it, but I will bring some serious value to my next relationship. Whether that be a future her or a new person entirely. Her biggest complaint was that I didn't deliver on my promises for our future goals. That... is an easy thing to fix. Also, it really depends statistics-wise because I know someone who broke up with their ex for four years and now they have a kid together and bought a house. Marriage being the next stop. The reason why the "get back together" crowd is so low is because typically speaking most people learn to outgrow their ex and in the end decide they no longer want their ex back, not because the majority of them failed to get their ex back.
I got back together with my college sweetheart because she asked to have me back, about three months after she broke up with me.
The second time around was fine for about five months, but then she ended up leaving me again.
I think that she was simply lonely and felt unloved, and I was available. So, there it went.
Looking back, I wish with all my heart that the second try had never happened. It cost me other opportunities, particularly one that I had just started to see when she took me back. So, what could I do except end things with that new gal and end the possibility of being with someone that I was really starting to like. But, I can't date two people at once, so I had to made a choice and I took the "safe" one.
And the second break up pretty much ruined me. It certainly ruined my senior year of college. And all in all, that second time took more than two years to get over at all. And in some ways, I never did. It certainly ended my belief in "true love," and I became more than a little cynical about relationships.
I’d say getting back with an ex depends what the reason was for the breakup, how long it’s been, and if both parties have matured to know better.
I sent my ex a letter on New Years eve apologising for the things I did wrong in the relationship (she emotionally abused me, but still I felt the need to put things rigjt, because we all fuck up every now and then). She was not amused. Reminded me with just one message, why we didn't work out. Manipulation, guilt tripping and belittling all in one message. Amazing feat, really, if you think about it.
At first when you first started talking about this, I thought you were talking about getting revenge on your ex.
You am a brilliant lady!!!
I always like your thoughts.
just to saying, when a girl break up with you and you know that isnt ur fault, never ever comeback neverrrrrrrr !
Many get back with an ex because of familiarity. They are an ex for a reason.
I LOL'd majority of your video! It was like you were holding in a major outburst during your recording, what was so funny!?😅 Great advice... i think. I can't stop laughing!
Men have no problem moving on with sleeping with someone else after a break up. So if they can't get their ex back it's probably because they moved on like that. No one likes being immediately replaced. The body count is both people's responsibility.
I think before considering going back you need to ask yourself if you are friends or can be friends again. Timing and working on yourselves is crucial.
Personally, I give the relationship every chance, every ability to do the work to fix things before it's time to let go. Both people need to work together at it because all relationships take work. If the other person gives up before ever trying healthy methods to get through stress and communication issues, then they will keep giving up. It's a bad habit people develop early on to never have accountability or to stay the victim. Quitters are cowards and will not fight with you to save something. They will run and leave you to carry it by yourself. That's not love.
Love is a choice we make everyday to accept the person, warts and all.
Just some ⛽⛽⛽ for the algorithm!
4 month relationship here. Bad timing, we both came out of long term relationships, so yeah. YT videos help learning what no contact is, and in practice thats NC + self improvement. I let her come to me now, and its working, not back together tho, but we are laughing again, flirting and thats what you want.
Be careful. A friend told me about a relationship where he broke up with her and then she wanted to get back with him and then she dumped him just to be able to say that she was the one who broke up with him. People are crazy.
Got back with my ex who I dated 8 years ago. We had no contact for about 5 years. Still in the early days and I think things are much better now than they ever were.
Dating is like an audition. Within about 1-5 minutes of conversation, I know enough about a girl/woman if I should make a cut or not. Same goes to the men if they are worthy to be friends with me. It's a dreadful waste of time to have meaningless conversations that go nowhere, or if I am along someone who is not right for me.
i've probably hung on for too long but when i do make that decision its final
Pretty certain my ex won’t reach out. What was messed up. She ended the relationship a week prior to my birthday. Then sends me a Happy Birthday message on my birthday.
It’s been 9 months now. Prior to ending it. She had been talking about visiting a so called friend several states away. Well, she did that a month after the ending. I was either a rebound for her. Or she wanted to have her cake and eat it also.
Who knows what the actual reason was. But there were warnings near the end. Almost like she wanted me to dump her. Small lies to her friends in front of me. Nothing huge. Saying she had found someone’s phone when I actually found it. Stuff like that. Snapping at me for simple things like where I left my keys. Or for letting the dogs out. Belittling what interested me. Then when I confronted her about anything bothering her. She would say nothing particular. Leaving me to wonder what else I could be doing to irritate her. Was I perfect?? Nope! Could I have done a few things differently?? Absolutely. I’m finally seeing her for what she really is. And it’s not pretty anymore.
There is a reason it’s called a “break up”, because it’s broken. Never go back.
Exactly.
100%
Thank you for the advice, but I have to say it, what's up with that wall painting all the way up to the ceiling? haha :)
Late twenties, more than six months apart, she already with a rebound for about 4-5 of those. We were six years together, but have all odds against. It’s over boys
Mine constantly accused me of infidelity, while we were together, and accused me of a lot of different, despicable stuff in her protective order. So she will never get the consideration of ever having me back. She could apologize every morning and night, and she'll never have my forgiveness or have closure
My wife left me on the eve of the millennia, I'd retired from the Marines, she'd got "the post office job she'd chased" for years. She was out of the house for a week and came back to me in tears. Our daughter wanted no return, our son supported the return and I ultimately accepted her back. We stayed together to her death four years ago, from long term multiple sclerosis. I'm glad we did despite the pain and difficulty. I miss her now, lonely, but no regrets for taking her back. We had a good marriage, overall. She expressed real sorrow and worked to regain my trust in the end.
Nice video
One month to improve yourself isn't very long at all. Improving yourself takes far longer then a month
Have I told you the definition of insanity?
Girl l seriously can't see how you could find your self in a situation where you aren't loved, l wish all women were like you and decent like my Mother, she is perfect in my eyes..
I think it really depends on what the relationship was like and why the break up occurred in the first place.
would love to hear you're thoughts on moving on. Just gone through our second breakup in six months after being together for two years. There is faults on both sides I'm old enough to accept that. But the trust is gone and I do not want to get hurt again even though I still have feelings for her.
If the trust is gone, there's no point in thinking it can come back. It's the biggest sign that your mind can give you that it will never work.
Yeah....its done. Find someone else.
I think you’re right.
I had a front row seat to a couple friends of mine who kept breaking up and getting back together. Neither cheated, as far as I know. He wanted kids and she didn't, and neither was willing to compromise. The difficult part was they owned a business together, so they couldn't avoid each other. He tried forcing her out a number of times. Eventually he met someone else and sold his half to her when he moved out of state.
The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. 🤣
Been there done that. Me and my ex been on again off again. And she even refuses to talk about problems in the past like she is avoiding consequences
People don’t change. Remember this, a snake sheds its skin not to change, but to become a bigger snake.
Good and true comparison.
This hits hard
Are you a snake?
On rebuilding trust: The question I've yet to have answered adequately... How do you trust someone you don't trust?
Yessss
Yeah, my relationship failed and i left her. We reconnected like a year later. I didnt intend on reconciling but we got back together. It took about 3 months to realize why i left in the first place. I was never a priority in her life, and as soon as she realized i was about to dip out she love bombed me to keep me around. I got tired of waiting for her to figure herself out so its been about 8 years. I dont have time to date, but im actually happy i dont have to deal with her again. She does pop up from time to time in my mind but i have more self respect to put myself in that misery again.
I just got out of a narcissistic relationship super toxic an draining he was extremely codependent
My ex left me bc she thought I wasn't putting in enough effort in the relationship, not only did I put I effort for her and her family (2 kids) I actively stepped in for her family when I knew I didn't have to. We didn't have a perfect relationship but after 6 years I thought we could handle most things together, but I guess her limit was being reached and she left me, devastated not only me but her kids.... they still keep in touch, but not her
I know that our relationship is fixable, and I know who I am and what I can give to her, and I obviously still love her and the kids, I just wished that she saw how much I tried for her
Similar situation with me.
Women that aren’t willing to understand what it takes from a man to support another man’s kids aren’t worth investing into.
Please believe me, you dodged a bullet and are better off without that in your life.
She's probably never going to be in a healthy relationship until she grows up - she's not an adult. Children shouldn't be raising children. The kids are going to need you to be there for them when she screws up worse.
My thoughts on this is, if you were not good enough the first time around the second time around is not any better. She is just gonna clean up what she didnt get the first time.
I was married 34 years, she pulled the plug because I could never be the spiritual leader of the family like her father was. We've been divorced 17 years now, I'm currently single, but I've had a couple of LTRs, she has not had any. We communicate often, mostly about our kids and grandkids, we live on opposite coasts, the last time we saw each other was at our oldest grandchild's wedding 18 months ago. I've dropped hints ever since that wedding that I'd be interested in getting back together, but she either doesn't pick up on them, or simply ignores them. I've loved her since the day I met her, and I still do - she's a wonderful woman. But, as much as I would love to get back together with her, I'm also terribly afraid of rejection.
Could be best to move on. There's a better girl out there for you!
Take the rejection ! Risk and ask ! We are different people at diff stages of life … time is running out !!!
@@georgeelder8415No there isnt 😂😂😂😂
Sorry, but she sounds like a crazy lady to me. Maybe a wonderful crazy lady but a crazy lady. There are a lot of people like that in the world and half of them are crazy men.
People talk themselves into anything they desire. It will fail again because he hurt you or you hurt him, either way someone got scared.
Drinking coffee Emily
I know it can work out for some people but I had a multi-year on-and-off toxic relationship with this girl she would get bored break up with me then come back when she couldn't find anyone never get back with an ex again
haven't watched the vid yet, just gonna dump my opinion her prior and see what you have to say, and wondering if you will agree...it fully depends on the issues and what they were and when. I fully believe that meeting the right person at the wrong time is nearly the same as meeting the wrong person. if you were just not I the right place mentally, physically, emotionally, and you BOTH have grown since then. no issue trying again. if they broke your trust in any way move on and don't look back. A woman that didn't respect you will NEVER learn to. A man wont either BTW.
I take wedding vows seriously even if separated for however still need to loyal /faithful and not get involved with another person especially if there is hopes of getting ack together but I imagine that's going to depend on the circumstances that creates the separation drugs criminal or fidelity and ability to forgive
Thank you for your video. They have been very helpful.
I broke up with my current partner 3 times, but she kept coming back to me. I made up my mind with the last break up, because I finally know who I am and what I wanted, but she is really making an effort for self improvement this time. I have no issue to being alone now or forever. I know the kind of partner I wanted. She have yet to prove to me that she isn't afraid to be alone, or not able to find someone else. Still too early to tell all the changes she made is sustainable.
LOL I love you girl. I hope you live forever happy.
A friend of mine married the same guy twice. They were together for a long time and had kids together, broke up for a long time but stayed in contact, got married again for a short time and got divorced quickly. What was wrong the first time was still wrong.
My cousin’s husband left her for someone else, or what he hoped would be someone else but ended up after all that, the other girl wasn’t interested in him. They were divorced for a year but their scheming 8 year old daughter got them talking again. They remarried - that second marriage was in 1989. They’re still married so… it’s different for everyone
Emily
You should read father Arsenie Boca : building a family
He describes everything and is best of the best advice for everyone
It was tough, but i never want to get back with my ex, broke up for a reason, move on and look forwrd to the next chapter, sooo many other girls out there
Ross from friend, “WE WERE ON A BREAK!” Lol
"you don't know yourself yet" the rally cry of those that age but do not grow..
I did it once, but never again! 🤷♂️