Five Manners Everyone Should Know - Back Porch Bickerin'
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- čas přidán 2. 08. 2018
- Calli and Talia come up with their list of top five Southern manners in this episode of Back Porch Bickerin'...er...Back Porch Polite Discussion.
Check out our shirt store! store.southernthing.com - Komedie
"Yes, Sir" and "Yes, Mamm" explained :
When you say "Yes, Sir" or "Yes, Mamm" to someone older than you it is a sign of respect.
When you say "Yes, Sir" or "Yes, Mamm" to someone YOUNGER than you it is SETTING THE EXAMPLE.
Ken Chappell Love it God Bless
100% agree!
You sir, are a true Southern gentleman and I'm proud to agree with you completely. Thank you!
Unless your Mexican and a southerner. For us if you say yes or yes ma'am or yes sir youd be in trouble we have to say mande really it's our version of that
Forced respect is never sincere
Pulling over for funeral processions, ambulances, fire trucks etc. I know that's not done everywhere.
Once up north I saw a person driving actually cut right through a funeral procession. I couldn't believe it. Not pulling over for emergency vehicles is so wrong, I assumed it was taught everywhere but apparently not.
Van Vasko unfortunately it's not. I got flipped off because I stopped to allow them a clear way. It have several times before I realized oh wow, people don't do that here.
Wow, that is so rude!
In Oregon it is illegal not to.
Most folks don't know that when a funeral passes you are suppose to stop AND get out of the car and stand as it passes. (Weather permitting of course) I admit that I don't do it and haven't seen it in a very long time now.
When someone lets my car in when we are in traffic, not only do I have to do the wave, I also have to mouth "thank you!" They can't see me, but I have to do it.
That is just making driving a little nicer for everyone.
I do the same thing!!
Honey, I am all "waving like a maniac" - and I promise you I move on. I don't "take the courtesy and then make you late because I want to dawdle."
Sadly, when I do the wave I realize they can't see it with my tinted windows (from the factory and legal) so have to roll down my window and almost wreck letting them know I appreciated it! LOL!!
But not exclusively "southern" on letting a car in front of you.
I’m a 16 year old southern boy and I’ve been taught all of these and still live by these.
Good for you lad! Bless your heart!
I'm a 17 year old Yankee Pharaoh and I've have no idea wut y'all talkin bout, JK South is great
I'm not a southern but my family is from the old country and we are from also a military family and it's ingrain in US and if I see someone with a few things they can get in front of me or will open doors if to much. And always say hi and be safe.
@@debkellar715 im a southern and i do the same thing at my coner store but i usually by cigarettes so i let people go in front of me i tell them i aint in no hurry i stay right down yander i aint even 5 mins from the house its just a little thing called respect and being polite and having manners what every human being should try to do in life is have manner thats whats wrong with a bunch of people now a days they aint got no manner i was born in 1998 my momma and grandparents made sure i was raised with manners and im making sure my son is especially when he comes to my house i hope his momma make him have manner but damn it if she aint im doing thats for sure the south is just a different breed of people always have been always will be we will be thats for sure and im proud to be southern
"Yes ma'am" and "Yes sir" know no age. I say it to everyone, even children.
I use ma'am and sir toward my 11 yr old niece and my 9 yr old nephew to show them that I value their presence and respect them as a fellow human. They were floored when they noticed I do this and I told them why. They were so touched that I never have issues with them not respecting me in return.
I don’t say “yes ma’am “ or “ yes sir “ to anyone
Isabel Tirado Well, it's just sad that you weren't raised right. Bless your heart.
MtlCstr it doesn’t mean i wasn’t raised right it just means I was raised differently where everyone is my equal .
Isabel Tirado everyones equal, but that don't mean you can't be respectful, "sir" and "ma'am" are forms of respect, not equality, I don't even know why you went on and brought that into this
They should have a regular show. It's the Rhett & Link of Southern women.
Big_Tex lol you’re so right
...or A podcast
S Haddan yea but they’re not women...😂
Yep, Rhett and Link are from North Carolina!!
Ma'am show
An Elder told me Why Spread Vinegar, When you can spread Honey. Pray Y'all Have a Blessed day
I never heard that saying before is very sweet and it sounds a lot better than "You catch more flies with honey than you do vinegar."
My uncle, Vietnam vet from Vermont, visiting GA, was wearing his Retired Army hat, and a 9 yo girl held the door for him and thanked him for his service. A NINE YEAR OLD GIRL. He was stunned, and hasnt stopped talking about it. That girl and her parents give me hope for our future.
I was out with my girlfriend & one of her friends who'd brought her 6 year old son along.
I kept whispering hints to the boy,"Hold the door for them" or "Pull the chair out for your Mom"...
He picked up on it & the ladies were impressed that he was such a young gentleman.
He's going to be way ahead of the other boys when he gets interested in girls.
doughesson
great example keep spreading the knowledge
doughesson ...And even if he never gets interested in girls. People of all kinds can be motivated to be courteous.
Or boys?
Good job! I always look them in the eye with a smile and say "Thank you young man".
He gonna get laid too!!!
I held the door for a blind guy once. He felt around with his stick and opened the door right next to the one I was holding. I died
Or just said that you had the door.
Lewie McNeely well that's what made me feel stupid was the fact that I didn't even make the connection that he wouldn't see me holding the door. Completely slipped my mind
Sweat it not, Sis. It happens to us all.............or will. It's not like you hold the door for blind folks every day. I'd be doing the same as you except I'm deaf-ish and might've hollered at the person thinking if they couldn't see they might not hear so good too!
Lewie McNeely thank you. Also I'm a dude just to clarify any misunderstanding.
10/4 and THANKS, Pal! I hate to get somebody fuzzed up if I can help it!
Thanks for the show. I might add that a Mexican author (of a book about manners) said manners are the practical expression of the love taught by the gospel. Is the way I express love and grace to you. Thank you!
Talia’s “bless her heart” at the end is perfection.
My mama told me to be kind, always, to everyone. Because EVERYONE has a story.
My mother told me to especially be kind when someone is being unpleasant to you - it makes you the good guy and REALLY ticks them off.
Renee Mulherin amen! that's simply the truth
@@tomleonard830 Yeah, that's what I want to do when somebody is already belligerent - tick them off. Good idea. :/
@@tomleonard830 I find that it's usually effective to just back off. Don't engage, and don't be overly pleasant (which some perpetually angry people read as insincere/duplicitous). Either of those things can escalate an already tense situation. My sister always tries the overly pleasant route and I've seen that backfire badly.
The first thing that they should teach you at southern DMVs is the “thank you” wave!
In California, they teach a different wave. :-/
Tom Leonard good one
@@tomleonard830 Yes, in California we are just thankful we made it out before we died of old age....
I am a retired truck( Semi ) driver and I still see truckers give a thank you wave to 4 wheelers who let them in on a crowded rode or change lane. I still do it myself. I live in Alabama and my mother taught us to always be curtious.
I thought it was just a Wisconsin thing to wave "thank you" to people while driving. We do it as we let them go first at 4-way stops too...and merging...and to pedestrians...lol
Waiting to make sure that someone you dropped off gets into the house before driving away.
Or a friend's car starts before you pull away.
I had a friend who would walk me to my great-aunt's house after school, just a little way past his own house. His mom would be outside most days and wave as we went by. "You make sure to take her all the way to the door." "Yes, ma'am." He's still one of the sweetest guys I know.
Exactly! I never drive off or leave someone at the door until they get in alright.
And hand in hand with that is going up to the door and knocking to pick someone up, NOT beeping the horn.
Good one!
Walking women out to their car at night, especially if living in a city. It can also be a nice thing to do for men, depending on the neighborhood and the man.
When I was in my 20s (this was the 1970s) a young lady in the office where I worked had either a cold or a bad allergy one day and was sneezing constantly. After every single sneeze she said "Excuse me!" After 5-10 minutes of this I started saying "Bless you" knowing she would HAVE to say "Thank you" and so it went:
"Achoo! Excuse me!"
"Bless you!"
"Thank you!"
"You're welcome!"
"Achoo! Excuse me..."
On and on till someone asked us both please to stop.
😂😂😂
This is akin to a Midwest nice-off!
@@AmandaKMason True but if I were Midwestern I'd have been genuinely trying to be nice, but I'm not so I was being evil in a sneaky way - knowing if we drove everybody crazy enough she'd be forced to shut up!😈
LOL, ROTFL, tears in my eyes, and coffee sputtered on my phone screen!
😂 The person who asked you to stop was rude! 😂
I'm 73; I was taught & taught my children that a child DOES NOT call an elderly person by their first name! With their permission it's okay to say Miss Milly or Mr. Jack but so many older folks correct my grandkids & tell them to just call them by their first name. The kids look horrified. Lol And in my family younger folks still stand & give older folks their chair.
When I was growing up, Any friend of your parents was "Aunt X" or "Uncle Y", instead of Mr. or Mrs.
Linda Smith
The mister, miss, or Mrs followed by first name is definitely a southern thing. Kinda sucked when I had a boss named Bill. I just called him sir.
daddyquatro, Hahaha I get your point.
I'm 27 born and raised in Germany. We called the close friends of our family "Aunt" or "Uncle" and everybody else with "Mr" or "Mrs" I understand your grandchildren because I was confused when the parents of my friends told me to call them by their first name! I didn't want to be impolite. I still stand for anyone that seems to be older than me in the bus/train and offer my seat to them. I still value my table manners, knowing how to properly use knife and fork (and unfortunately I see more and more children that don't seem to know how to do that), having my napkin on my lap, saying prayers, passing food around, waiting for everyone to have food before I start ect.
I think certain pleasantries like these just make life easier and nicer for everyone around and it doesn't kill you to be polite!
That also includes holding the door open for other people, saying thank you/ you're welcome and a proper "yes" or "no"
GentlewomanMcUnknown, you sound like someone I would love to know!
table manners are super important too! Waiting for everyone to be served, keeping your napkin in your lap, chewing with your mouth closed, swallowing before speaking, elbows off the table, knowing how to set a table, passing food around the table before anyone asks for something, and (one that I sometimes accidentally forget) if you're eating with a family for the first time, waiting to eat in case they say grace, and if you want to be EXTRA AWESOME help with dishes afterwards, especially if you haven't done any cooking
My mom shooed a female guest out of our kitchen specifically because she was washing dishes. My policy is...if you are a guest ask first. If they don't want your help (and show it) you don't have to give it.
That last one....I've been trying for 10 years to teach my daughters to do that to no avail. Oh my word it irritates the snot out of me when we go to my mom's house and they dont help with dishes. 😡😡😡😡😡
Where I'm from (and perhaps it's the asian influence) We don't mind if you speak with a small amount of food, as long as you cover your mouth with your hands. Heck, I cover my mouth even when I'm not speaking sometimes.
This is huge to me too. I will find an excuse walk out if the table manners are awful. It’s the worst thing ever.
I do everything except elbows off the table when was that a thing
When my New Yorker husband first moved here to the South, he freaked out because, "Some man waved at me!" He thought the guy was trying to pick him up. I died laughing. That was the funniest thing until he said about my sister's horses, the first ones he'd seen in real life, "They're happy. They're wagging their tails." We all fell over about that one.
I married a northerner, too. Except, I moved up to Washington state with him. I waved at a police officer coming in the other lane, and he grabbed my hand and pulled it down. He won't go in the grocery store with me because I talk to strangers and let the kids eat tortillas in the store. He says I shouldn't say, "ma'am" to the waitress. Northerners really are a grouchy, sad, lonely bunch that never have any tail wavin' fun.
@@thisgraceylife7389 Mine was somewhat that way, but not too bad. It was usually when we were in a city. I did see him go full New Yorker to a homeless guy in St Louis once. Thing is, the homeless guy was really polite and I kind of felt badly for him.
"She didn't even send a thank you card!" "*gasp* "Bless her heart." LOLOLOL
Manners aren't totally dying. Went to Joanns a couple weeks ago and a young man who couldn't have been more than 14 went out of his way to open the door for me. Made my day. And from the huge grin on his face when I thanked him, it just might've made his day, too. Kudos to the Mama and Grandma who've been raising him right! (They were checking out as I came in. 😁)
Laura Davies my youngest son is 17. My wife and I regularly get compliments on how polite he is, (sometimes even from strangers). It makes us feel good to know that something we did stuck.
Hey! How do you know it was the Mama and Grandma who've been raising him right? Maybe it was the Papa and Grandpa...
Us guys can teach our young men to do right too, you know. :)
☺️☺️ this is heart-warming
@@anonimuso of course you can teach the children too. And you should! She was referring to his mom and grandma because like she said they were the ones with him. They were checking out in the store when he opened the door. So she was taking her cues from the the facts that were right in front of her.
@pierusofpella I'm a woman and I open doors for absolutely everybody. Relax.
I’m a old man and say yes ma’am to the 16 year old girl at McDonald’s
Yep. Me too. It’s just an ingrained habit.
I support this! I think everyone should always show respect to everyone, regardless of their age.
You cant be THAT old if you eat McDonald's on a regular basis. 🤣 Of course I am just kidding, sir.
I'm 61 and yeah same here.also if I make a mess getting coffee at a shell I clean up my mess.if I didn't my mama would come out of her grave n get me.grandma be right behind her 😖
@@2ndarmoredhellonwheels106 all of this is "common courtesy" or "southern manners"..... it is really sad that it is lost on kids these days. My son (21 in a few days) was raised right, and he is an amazing young man.... hopefully all isnt lost on the generation after him. I feel you on "mama and grandma coming to get you".... Mom always says "God will get you for that", same thing 😂
U two are my favorites!!
Also waiting with car headlights on for someone to get inside their house...or walking them to the door. Had to do the latter every time for my Aunt after church from the time I was a small boy
Born and raised in So. Cal. , I feel those rules apply EVERYWHERE, not just in the South
I guess here it's the standard where in places like NJ, NY(I'm just mentioning them because they're just places I lived in for a while) they're considered the extra mile. I mean they still do this in trailer parks here in the Carolinas and you wouldn't think that such poor places. That they would still keep this tradition in their hearts considering their circumstances.
I lived in So. cal as a child and the only reason I ever said yes ma’am sir was because my parents were Southern. Most children didn’t and I didn’t in school or to non-family.
I love this! I really do feel like southerners try to always go the extra mile for others. I think most of it is treat others how you would like to be treated and always be willing to help people.
It's interesting how different ones perceptions are depending on where they live. I'm from Maine, I blew a tire while in Maine at 10PM, I had 5 people stop and offer to help plus 3 different cops. All were supper nice and asked if I was ok. In VA I hit a deer at noon time, front end of my car looked awful, had 20+ cars pass me, all just stared at me, never stopped to see if they could help or to check to see if I was injured or offered to call someone. Finally a cop came, and all he said to me was I shouldn't have been parked on the shoulder and that I should have changed over in license plate by now, even though I had only just moved there 2 weeks before. Didn't seem to care about the fact that the front end of my car was totaled or to ask if I was injured.
That's Virginia, though. They live for fines and fees. Also, breaking down/accidents in VA all depends on where you're at. Sometimes you'll have the same experience you had in Maine plus some and sometimes people won't stop to help for hours. Virginia is an odd state.
Obviously you were in Northern Virginia, which is Yankee all the way (I'm from there but now live in the actual south - Floyd VA). That wouldn't happen here, but in NOVA, I'm surprised you lived and weren't run over or mugged. Which is why I'm *from* there - I left as quick as I could.
I was living in Roanoke/Trouteville.
Abigail Randall north VA isn’t southern
Actually, the reason a man walks closest to the road while on the sidewalk/boardwalk goes back to Victorian (and earlier) times, when roads were muddy and often had large puddles. Carriages would go by and splash the people on the sidewalk. The man walked next to the road so that he caught the brunt of the splashing mud, thereby ostensibly keeping the woman from getting her elaborate Victorian clothing dirty.
Everything else was spot on. Mmmmmhhhmmmm drives me *bonkers*, especially when a server does it at a restaurant. It's rude. It's just as easy to say, "You're welcome" as it is to just make random grunting sounds.
S K Thank you got this!! I came to the comments to post this and you had already done it!!
I would add that it was also because of chamber pots, which were thrown out farther towards the roads and gutters, so if a woman was on the inside, she was less likely to get splashed with any of those contents.
S K
What?
Sorry. I'm a guy and I disagree. I always walk closest to the road because... Duh.
In every house we've ever lived in, I always sleep closest to the door because... Duh.
Way before there were Victorian mud puddles there were dangers in the world and it's the guy's job to get between danger and his mate.
It's a southern thing.
daddyquatro Did you read the whole thing? I said (and earlier times). It’s not just a Southern thing. It’s been around longer than the South. We just happen to keep up the tradition, as we should. It’s chivalrous, gentlemanly and just plain polite. Disagree all you want. Doesn’t mean the facts are wrong.
S K
Sorry if I came across as ill tempered. It's late and I should be sleeping. Of course it's not just a southern thing. It's a racial (as in human) thing. Guys will always get between danger and their mate.
I just thought is was a bit of a stretch to attribute this behavior to Victorian era mud puddles.
It's out pleasure to serve you! Where my CFA homies at?
A college friend years ago moved to Australia when she got married. She moved back to Louisiana with her family because she said her sons needed some southern manners bad. She said her momma was appalled by their lack of manners. In no time, they were saying “yes, ma’am.” Just like they’d always lived in the South. It’s in the genes.
It's not in the genes. It's from the teaching. If it were in the genes, it would happened in Australia without needing to move back to Louisiana.
Wave at everyone you pass on the back roads. Rude not to wave
Moved from texas to california I do all these things and hardly ever get a thank you. Also people think I'm trying to call them old by saying sir and ma'am. My son was born out here but im raising him southern!
California, so then you've learned that hell is indeed real.
Good for you for trying still and for raising your son southern, and THANK YOU. I was raised by a southerner and I'm north of you...my parents got compliments on how polite I was as a child and I've passed it forward.
@@l.smythe6602 I live in California but my father was from Oklahoma and taught all his daughters to have good manners. I passed it on to my son.
I mean, when Rome do as the romans do. If you’re being told being called sir and ma’am is an insult- the polite thing to do is listen. It’s pretty rude to ignore the customs of the region and think yours is superior.
As a Californian, why tf would you move here? Lmao no offense
Although I'm not southern I was taught good manners. I was walking to class at a state University when I noticed the girl in front of me had a huge stack of books so I ran up to door and opened the door. She cursed me out and told me I was being a male chauvinist pig. I told the Lady that while I was being a gentleman I saw her big stack of books and was just trying to be nice...whether it would have been a male or female I would have opened the door. She just Kind of humphed and walked off.. I said you're welcome loudly!! Another girl who caught up to me said....Geez! Some people! That was nice of you! I thanked her. To un-nice lady..I hoped she was just having a rough day and wasn't like that all the time. She obviously had a chip on her shoulder and may have been hurt badly by a man...so I ended up just praying for her.
I love that you prayed for her! And I love that chivalry isn't completely dead! From a woman who appreciates gentlemen, thank you for keeping up that standard in a generation where manners is quickly dying!
Girls like that suck!
There is one they forgot. Bless them.
David Talkington unfortunately I think that’s the society we live in. Men can’t hold the door open for women because it’s seen as “toxic masculinity” maybe. I don’t actually know their thinking behind it. I’m southern I could never see not opening a door for people period. I’ve noticed because of our society changing the way it has a lot of men don’t hold the door for me anymore. They can’t tell the difference between me and some feminist nut job! Poor men!
Nikki Ezzell it’s not toxic masculinity at all. Toxic masculinity definitely exists, like when men refuse to go to the doctor when they’re super sick because men just deal with it or when boys bully another boy for being sensitive... that’s toxic masculinity. I’m as feminist as it gets and when a man opens a door for me I simply assume that their momma taught them manners. I think feminists that get upset over holding doors and stuff like that are either man haters or just completely ridiculous.
I'm a 78 year old northern and we were taught all those things. Sadly it seems most everyone but southerners have forgotten all these lovely manners. Southerners sure living a more gracious life.
Yeah, doing something nice, like holding the door, and they don't acknowledge you or the act. Just grinds my teeth. Miss Talia did the correct thing, "You're welcome."
I'm 66 YO. I still say "Yes, ma'am. Yes, sir." I was raised that way (military family). I was in the USAF for over 10 years. It's ingrained.
Talia knows exactly how to be perfectly cute n sweet without overdoing it. Bless her adorable heart.
Ladies, I just love y'all. I'm a Southerner in the Pacific Northwest and you're making me homesick! Thanks for doing this channel.
Me, too! Oregonians are rude. My brother-in-law lived in Texas for a little while and he said he was so uncomfortable that people at his work asked him about where he went to church etc, and I said “they are trying to be polite and welcome you to the community” but he didn’t understand and thought everyone was too nosey and personal.
Thank you, ladies for having this little talk! You are both completely correct! I grew up in the northwest and I still expect and practice these things because I feel like it's a show of respect to all people. Just COMMON courtesy. It drives me crazy when people don't practice this!! Not just a southern thing, should be an everywhere thing! There, I said it! 😂
Good manners are nothing but a series of small sacrifices. They do not cost you a cent, but they do show your character.
So true. Love my Southern manners.
Love this so much. The world needs more manners.
I say ma’am and sir to everyone, no matter the age. I see it as a sign of respect. Also, I think it helps teach younger generations to use it.
Awwww. Y'all ladies are sooo sweet, Ah do declare! I am 80 (on the outside, 17 on the inside) and I say "Yes Mam" & "Yes Sir" still, cause it just sounds so nice. I used to hste the awful "NO PROBLEM!!!" instead of You're welcome but it's young people, so why stress out. Love you guys. Sending you mental sweet tea & cookies to your porch. Thank you.
I'm from Baltimore and took a trip South. Let me tell you, I was freaked out by manners! There aren't many people with them so the guy holding the door for me made me think he wanted money or something. I really got used to the common courtesy! Thank you for having manners!
As a Baltimore native (and senior) who now lives in South Carolina, I can tell you for certain that Baltimore used to be this way too! It was until about the 80's, and it was a nicer place to be. Bless your heart, and welcome back to the South any time! ;)
Southern manners also have a darker side: We enforce said manners in a sometimes passive-aggressive way. "bless your heart" is the most common way but there's also the loud "you're welcome" when you are not thanked for your exercise of manners. Talia mentioned that one.
I've also been known to sit at a four-way stop indefinitely because when I say "you first", by god you're going to go first. I've got all day.
LOL!! That four way stop madness cracks me up .
On the subject of ma’am and sir, everything rides on your tone of voice. What’s in your heart is in your face and voice. By the way, some one called me “Ms” and I laughed and told him I had spent more time on my “Mrs.” than my “Ms” (Master of Science) degree. One took 4 years and the other is taking 49 years to date. He chuckled and made my day.
You're never too old to say yes sir and yes ma'am!
Patchouli Colt thank you! My jaw dropped when she said that!
Super reminders for everyone! Love that you put Thank You notes. Common courtesy for brides to send out Thank you notes to those who gave or sent gifts.
Waving at people. I had friends in the Navy that would ask me why I was waving at people all the time. My only response was it's just something we do back home.
I’m Californian born and raised but I recently moved to North Carolina and in the process of adapting/learning my new surroundings I found this channel and I LOVE it. Instant subscribe.
Keep up the great work!!
What part of NC did you move to? The triangle and Charlotte are more of a melting pot. Southern manners exist there but are not as prevalent as less urban parts of the state.
@@TheMallen07 I think its funny that people from California think that NORTH Carolina is southern. lol
@@googleuser2426 I consider NC southern, just not the big cities. Any small town in the piedmont, coastal plain or mountains have the accent culture and other traits one thinks of as southern. But no, we're not AL or MS. NC is more like GA these days. Actually the south in general is changing fast. SC will be like NC in 10-15 years.
@@googleuser2426 North Carolina is southern. Not like the Deep South (AL, MS, LA), but it's definitely a southern state.
@@xeldronx my family haled from NC when it was VERY Southern, and I was taught manners. We ate Southern, and they definitely THOUGHT Southern. Places have changed but Southern values and traditions are very ingrained in those raised up DOWN HOME. If you dared to even suggest they weren't Southern them be feuding words for sure!!!
Bless her heart!
I have to say, I’m not even a Southerner (Californian) but when you are polite, you can move mountains!! For instance: in a doctors office, if you treat the front office staff with indifference there’s no telling what can happen to your chart....BUT if you treat that person like you believe they are special, things get DONE!
You nailed it on the head Talia, Common Courtesy!
This channel is ROCKIN’!!! Great work on ALL your videos!!!
Thanks everyone!
Lauri
The only thing is with "ma'am" and "sir" in California is you have a certain percentage of Californians who react as if you're insulting them when you call them "sir" or "ma'am" - like you're calling them old.
Sir is just what I say to my fellow men. My dad called me Sir so it is just in my brain. Ma'am is also in my brain but I use it measured. Funny that those my age 50 or younger don't chide me for it but when I was younger those 10 years and older than me just might complain.
*+therasheck* I get told constantly how odd it is that I refer to my children as ma'am and sir. I'm glad to know that I'm not alone. My children will _not_ address an adult without the proper salutation under any circumstances. Their teachers inform me that their politeness is not only 100% consistent, but that when they were younger it was infectious and moved to some of the other children. I'm rather proud of this, and of them.
Young Frankenstein
Thank you for your reply, I have always wondered why I got the golden rule so effectively established in my brain. I think that my Fathers respect and example (he was never out of place, he could hobnob with the rich then have a smoke with their help) of how to treat others put me on the right track. I am grateful you are setting that example for the next generation!
P.S. love your name as it was a movie both my Father and I loved dearly!
I thought her name was Diana Edwards Isbol.... cuz the monograming DIE..
I was raised in Kansas and was taught all of these things. So I'm m not sure if they're just southern manners or good basic manners.
I think maybe the one about a guy walking next to the road started back in the day when streets were unpaved and sometimes dusty or muddy. It helped women protect their dresses and shoes from getting soiled.
Love your videos. God bless you all!
I'm from Australia and I was raised like that :)
Southern manners are so entwined in who we are, that you don't think about it. They are also a huge point of anxiety.
Door holding:
• First person there
• Younger person
• Person with less burden
(Hands full, kids to wrangle, stroller/walker, etc.)
One of my favorite replies to "thank you" is "my pleasure".
It's always been my understanding that the reason why a man walks on the road side of the sidewalk is to take any splash of water that might come from the road, or prevent a woman from getting hit by a tossed cigarette or something.
I am 66 and say please and thank you, sir and ma'am to everyone who gives me service. It's not southern, it's polite for goodness sakes. Sometimes the look of surprise and big smile I get lets me know just how little appreciation they get in their work. It costs me nothing and gives them the respect and kindness they deserve. Bless your heart.
In Latvia older people, every parent or grand parent is teaching manners to younger people like my self and actually many of us are very polite because of our parents
Walter L As fellow Latvian I totally agree! We are very "Southern" in this context.
Using Ma'am and Sir is not about age! It's all about showing respect to someone.
I thought it was about age
I remember the first time I said Sir to someone in Ohio I thought he was going to have a hissy fit ' Don't call ME SIR I'm not in the army '. Wow 😳.
😭😭😭 I miss all of this so much!!! I am stuck in Ca and no one over here is like this , I get all the time you must be from the south! Because I hold door, I say yes ma’am and yes sir, I say please and thank you to EVERYONE! I miss home so bad!
I’m originally from the North, came down here to the South, and got me some manners. Thank you very much, and bless your heart!
I am 43, and I use Sir and Ma'am regardless. If it is a person I don't know, they are sir or ma'am. It is not age dependent. Please and thank you should be a no brainer, but in this day and age, sadly it isn't. Even when dealing with a vendor, when I am sending a request for them to fulfill their primary function, please and thank you goes a long way.
Darth Platypus i second that notion good sir. Ain't no shame in saying sir or ma'am if you don't know their name
I'll even use ma'am with my girlfriend at times or sir with a best buddy. Even with young adults half my age. Born in L.A. to a Midwest mama and in the Bay Area now...
I have a real good friend of mine who still gets mad at me for saying ma’am to her.
I'm 58 and I say, "please" and "thank you", and I say, "yes sir" and "no sir" and "yes ma'am" and "no ma'am".
Seeing as I'm knighted, you have to say "Sir" twice 😊
Actually, the gentleman walking to the street-side of the lady is more to shield her from splashes, spatters, and flying debris, than to "die first".
That's just *MORBID*, bless y'all's hearts!
JW McCabe Exactly. That's where and how it originated, though it still can be quite valid today - especially in inclement weather.
Hello ladies, I’m originally from Colombia, South America… I was raised with this manners and I feel so happy to fit right in the south 😊
Wish the whole world had southern manners. I do my best and always use please and thank you.
I am of Southern Descent (1st generation removed), and I was taught all those things. In fact, I was just taught those were good manners, not Southern good manners, although I agree manners have fallen off, in general, around the country, as I have gotten older. One of the things I remember my mother taught me was to: enunciate: "Don't talk with mush in your mouth." It has always stood me in good stead. My father always responded to his parents with "Yes, Sir", or "No, Ma'am", regardless of how old he was. It was a sign of respect to them from him. (It was not as noticeable from my mother, as she did not live close to her kin. But she was always respectful.)
Preach it girls! Haha
Talia mentioned she no longer says "ma'am" and "sir" to people who aren't her elders. I'm now so old I haven't got all that many elders. So I say "yes ma'am" and "no ma'am" to a woman even if she's 16 (less than one-fourth my age) - not every time she speaks but often enough to let her know she's a ma'am. If a man (no matter what age) calls me "sir" I immediately start trying to out-sir him till either he quits it or we've clearly fought it to a draw. I don't even know why I do these things, I'm a Texan and Texas isn't in the South (except East Texas).
Dang this bicker was cute - keep Talia, she's a darlin'. So is Calli of course.
I agree with all of the examples in this video. I would add that it is the hallmark of excellent manners to never criticize the manners of another. I was once placed in the awkward position of having to (privately) explain this once. Thank you for sharing with us.
So happy to see Talia! Biggest crush....lord have mercy
Abbygale420 Guin me too
If I was her age, I would have a big gay crush on her. But she's not gay, so I would just suffer in silence.
Much to my dismay, I wasn't born in the south 😢, but I was taught manners to say please, thank you etc. It's not that hard,but yet people can't do it and I've done what Talia did a couple times with holding the door! Lol! I love your videos, as they make my day! 🙂♥️♥️
Your gonna miss it when it's gone, is what I keep hearing in my head every time I watch a video from this channel. What Im meaning is as each year passes a little more of those southern traditions tend to disappear for ever. I'm a 50 year old man born and breed in the upper south and for the most part southern people are the nicest people you'll ever have the pleasure of meeting, people who'll literally give you the shirt off their back if your in need. People who'll go out of their way to help someone the don't even like simply because it's the right thing to do and we are mature enough to set personal feelings aside when the circumstances call for it. That said we'll damn sure kick your ass if you need your attitude adjusted!
I was raised to hug everyone at least in my family. Once i arrive and before i leave to go home
Welcome to the back porch Talia.
I love you guys!! My children were brought up that way and we are from Ontario, Canada. It is definitely common sense and appreciation that brings you all together❣️🇨🇦
With regards to "The Golden Rule": Luke 6:31 "Treat others the same way you want them to treat you.
NASB translation
Matthew 7:12 "In everything, treat people the same way you want them to treat you, for this is the Law of the Prophets".
NASB translation
“Tsze-kung asked, saying, ‘Is there one word which may serve as a rule of practice for all one’s life?’ The Master said, ‘Is not Reciprocity such a word? What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others.’”
Confucian Analects, Book XV. xxiii (circa 350 B.C.)
You can get more with Honey then vinger' is what my mom always said.
I always say "yes ma'am" and "yes sir". I am a teacher and I require my students to use these as well. One year and student's father told me, "That's just a southern thing". I replied that it's a "respectful thing"!
Thank you!
this was the most polite bickering ever
Yes, southern ladies will bicker, very politely and with a smile. It's a southern thing.
5 rules all southern manners
1 Hello & Good morning or afternoon
2 Yes ma'am plus yes Sir
3 Holding door for Ladies
4 Thank you & please
5 Common coursety
I hold the door (or hold it open and pass it on) for Guys and Girls
Calli and Talia are treasures..... I love these ladies!
My southern momma taught me well (at the end of a wooden spoon). Manners are for anyone from anywhere!
Talia has such pretty handwriting!!!! :-D
Listersmate2 yep
I'm amazed at how many different perspectives there are when it comes to manners. Granted, most of it is obvious. Just treat others as you'd want to be treated. I am one of the most polite people (at least I strive to be) but I am one of those that says "mhmm" or "sure" after someone says Thank You. I guess I do it because I feel a little awkward about the thank you and it never EVER occurred to me that it's rude. And yes I was taught manners growing up. I heard someone one time complaining about people who don't put the little divider thing down on the belt at the check out in the store. I do it automatically for the people in line behind me just to be helpful but I've never considered it rude if someone doesn't do it. I also view making eye contact and saying hello as you pass someone as being polite but I've met people who are freaked out about it. Different strokes I guess.
The divider thingy at the store is just a thoughtful kindness.
The person behind you can't reach it, and without it, they must stand there helplessly until enough belt space has passed after your last item.
By you placing the divider on the belt, you are helping them to be more efficient and get through that line just that much quicker.
People not responding to your greetings are just sad examples of how this world has changed for the worst in recent decades.
If we all continue with our politeness, perhaps things will improve! We can only hope.
Being a southerner myself and having spent 30 years as a cop to boot, the "Yes Sir/Ma'am" thing is as natural to me as breathing. I'll say "Yes Ma'am" to a woman or man 40 years younger than me:).
I was born and raised down I'm Georgia . I thought chivalry was dead . But the two of you might be the only ones keeping it alive. God bless both of you and thank you. Many people should see this and learn from your example.
I love this channel so much! Im english and loads of this stuff on the channel is so relatable. Like who knew that british and southern culture was so similar?
Matt Wilkinson, many Southerners did. 😉
Ha ha... I made a trip (vacation/trip of a lifetime) to England. There I learned that Southerners are more English than any other part of the USA. Many people thought I was English. (except for the waving and trying to chat with people on the Tube.)
One time I was on a blind date & I held the door open for her. She said "I can open my own door" & I was "I hope you can pay for your own cab, bye" Opening doors isn't sexist, it's just good manners. Also, what's with this whole "you have a blessed day" thing? What was wrong with "have a nice day? "
I agree
Hannah Li You missed the point, Hannah! Read again his comment
Kevin Riley Kevin, did you really responded that to her? :O
Kevin christians say have a blessed day it’s letting people know you are christian and your asking God to bless their day. If someone says have a blessed day to me I know they are Christian if they have a nice or good day they are being polite and wishing my day to be nice or good
Mel B I say because I really want your day to be blessed and also I'm a Follower of our Lord and savior. Have A Blessed day☺😀
Thank everyone of yourselves & your cast mates for creating such wonderful "feel good" content. I can always rely on either a tickled chuckle or heartfelt sigh...
As a senior southern man in my 60's it's always a delight to flash back to the times of my youth and be grateful for my parents and their friends who helped me understand the importance of "gentleness of spirit" as the demonstrated to me as a southern boy on his way to becoming (hopefully in others eyes) a southern gentleman.
Much happiness and continued success to every one of you.
Respectfully,
Timothy
Funny story. When I was like 5 or 6 my family went to the mall and being the upstanding little man I was I held the door for my family. And the people behind us, and the people leaving.
I must have stood there for five minutes holding the door but I couldnt bring myself to close cause they just kept coming.
My mom: "What are you doing!?!?!"
Me: "Mom help I'm stuck!!"
Then this old lady came and took the door for me and I went in.
Hahahaha! Yep!
I did that in high school getting off the bus and entering into the cafeteria, a hundred people would pass through the door I was holding - thankfully most people said thank you, or did the polite head nod of acknowledgement.
Eventually it was like the British changing of the guard and someone would free me from the duty of door holding! (It was always a guy so that was really cool! I'd remark with a smile "I knew chivalry wasn't dead!" and thank them.
I just love this channel! I was and raised in south Carolina all my life but a month ago I moved to California for college and y'all I'm telling ya this channel is what keeps me from going crazy! y'all should have your own separate channels! I mean the girls got as much good stuff as the fellas do!
Love the south everyone is so nice and they always smile at me !! When I’m in north it’s the total opposite people are so cold most of the time !!
I must say that when I visited NY, NY everyone was kind and helpful. It was a pleasant surprise and made me realize that you can find kind and polite people everywhere.
I don't know what my favorite southern manners are, but my favorite southern phrase is bless your heart because, obviously, Gomer Pyle says it a lot and it sounds like something to be loved for.
I've only recently discovered this channel. I am the oldest Southern woman in the room (whom you look to for guidance in matters of etiquette). Thank you, THANK YOU for addressing one of my pet peeves, young clerks who, when I thank them for their help, reply, "No problem." As if I am a problem to them for patronizing the place where they work? Correct answers: "You're welcome" or "It was my pleasure".
I am from Ohio. I was raised with these manners. My mama use to make me sit at the table for an hour to write thank you notes. I hated it then but realized it is important. People where I live in rural Ohio are very friendly and would give you the shirt off their back. They are way friendlier in Ohio than many other places I’ve been
I'm from Ohio as well. I still say yes sir and no ma'am to this day.
I was born and raised in the south but my mother was from the west coast so she didn’t teach me ANY of these. I picked up all of them from my friends and their families. I use ma’am and sir all the time, especially with my kids cause I want them to use the right words. Show your teachers some respect children! We’re a military family living in Nebraska right now and some people get huffy or put off sometimes but it’s rare. Instead, when I’m really annoyed with poor service or a friend being rude (up here), I’ll say mhmm instead of you’re welcome/no problem/my pleasure. They don’t know I’m being rude but *I* know that I just slighted them. ;) I would never try to pull that when I’m home though! As for doors, I ALWAYS hold the door no matter who is coming up behind me. Still working on the kids doing it since sometimes they think I’m holding the door for them, lol. My little one likes to hold the door open for us which is just so sweet. She’s a good egg.
These two together is too much charm and adorableness in one video! 😅
The young to stand up for the elders to sit-down, or someone that maybe in distress, disabled, ya know teach'em young.
Always write a thank you note. Add this to the list: when someone mails you a card or thank you note, let them know you received it. (Loved the monogrammed cards hanging in the wreath, they are perfect for thank you notes.) 😊
I'm not offended by "yeah" because it's only an accented version of the appropriate "yah" from our ancestors who came from European countries where this is how they say yes. My elderly relatives still retained that more authentic old "yah" in their Southern "yeah." I don't think we Southerners realize where some of our words actually came from. However, a "pet peeve" I do have is when we Southerners steal the other person's moment of generosity / courtesy to us. I've witnessed the "door stand off" and the awkward who will walk in first. For goodness sakes, I just smile and say thank you and walk through that door first and allow the other person to have that feeling of generosity. I actually revel in that I allowed that person to exhibit good manners and feel good about himself or herself. By the way, the Golden Rule origins - the Bible. (For shame, where are your Southern roots?!)
Yeah is a pet peeve of mine, at least say yes. As a southerner I still prefer ma’am and sir.
I must respectfully disagree, sir. "Yeah" is a curse and a cancer that should be swept from our culture entirely.
I think responding yeah is rude/bad manners.
@@anndeecosita3586 research it's origins 😁
There are a few of us in California (born and raised) that hold doors, say thank you and show respect/kindness for people.
I know it was due to my parents (both British); but it's a delight when I meet up with someone who understands and appreciates common courtesy
(Yes, I always RSVP, although, I'm not perfect on thank you notes - but I am getting better at those :-)
Beautiful young ladies. You are both great examples of southern charm.
"How do you deem someone as obviously being older than you"
When their memories are in B&W.
Can i make a quick addendum to the yes ma'am no ma'am. Its not generally used for everybody its mostly used as a way of showing respect to someone older than you or for someone who is providing a service for you.
I learn so much from your videos. Thanks for everything. I love the habits of southerners
Chick-fil-a raised the bar in southern manners with the "My pleasure." By far the better response then "no problem" or "your welcome." Deserves a honorable mention.