Your Toddler CAN Play By Themselves. Here’s How to Teach Them...
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- čas přidán 12. 12. 2023
- 🧸 Getting your toddler to play independently can be a real challenge. While screen time can sometimes be an extremely helpful tool, independent play without screentime is hugely beneficial for development and once your toddler gets the hang of it, it opens the door to endless hours of fun and exploration.
But our children don't naturally know how to play by themselves. They need to first have an environment that supports independent play, and then they need us to teach them how to do it. Once they get started, they will continue to learn and explore, but most need that little bit of help to start.
In this video you'll learn the strategies we use as Occupational Therapists to teach young children the skill of independent play. Once they've got this skill, you'll be able to get that all important time to yourself to get things done around the house, or just take a moment for yourself, without relying on screens if you don't want to.
I hope this helps!
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Thanks for watching! Is your little one able to play independently? Is there a special trick that you have used that I didn't mention? Don't forget to get your free Communication Milestones Chart here: brightestbeginning.com/communicationmilestoneschart/
The most important trick is to never interrupt their play unless they are doing something dangerous. Just say nothing. Sit back and observe. This helped my now almost 1 year old learn to play independently sometimes as long as 45min.
My son was able to play independent right from the start and prefered it. He had to learn to play with others.
My daughter took her time. Turned out she doesnt like to be/feel alone. As long I am in the same room she is fine.
I honestly LOVE this channel and all the content. Helps me enormously in parenting. Thank you!
Thanks so much! That is such a huge compliment❤
I have an almost 2 year old who is incredibly social. She wants to be with people and share in what she is doing. It’s hard work but that’s her nature. It doesn’t mean I use a device all the time. Sesame st is a treat. Recently she’s been slightly more independent and happy to read books by herself for 10 mins or so but most of the time I don’t get things done (at all or very efficiently) because she likes me to be with her or to “help” … before she goes off and wants to do something else. Can we also remember that kids can be extroverted, introverted, social or anti-social and not to suggest social kids are a result of parenting or something? There’s comments on here by parents bragging about their “independent” kid who probably just likes their own company because they’re introverted. Whoop de doo. My husband and mother in law get their energy by being around people (they are literally the extreme end of extroversion… they hate being alone)- so does my daughter. Doesn’t make her naughty.
Totally agree! 😊 my 16 month old loves to be around people and has become a little more attached to me as of late. It's hard to limit my productivity on everything else but your comment reminds us that all children are good and they just have different personalities ❤
This channel has been immensely helpful in guiding us through parenthood 🥰
Yeeesss!!! My daughter is the same way. I tried every tip and trick but ultimately my daughter is very social and wants to play with others the majority of the time. I found that if I take her to visit someone or have someone over for a significant amount of time (3 hrs or more) then she will be more likely to independently play for a short period of time afterwards.
My 22 month old is the total opposite, he can play on his own for hours at a time, which is great, but he recently started daycare and it’s been difficult, he loves playing with family and his older cousins but one month into daycare and just yesterday did he socialize with other kids for the first time, I’m ok with it, I feel it’s easier to teach them to play with others than on their own but it’s still hard watching him have a difficult time with other kids 🤷🏻♀️
@@pumpkinqueen3776isn’t 22 a bit old for daycare? ;)
@@LexiLadonna LOL 😅 one never knows! 🙈 fixed it, thnx
Emma you are THE BEST! I've been following you since my daughter was a month old and now she's almost 2 and a half! We are expecting another girl in a few months and your channel will continue to help my family learn and grow together. I love your work so much and I hope you know how much parents and caregivers benefit from what you do. I've got your baby and toddler courses and I'm looking forward to going back to the baby one soon enough ❤
Great suggestions as always helping both parents and their little ones, thank you so much
My baby isn't 1 yet but I've watched so many of your videos already! Your Monstera is thriving!
It is doing so well! So much better than the earlier videos - it's nearly getting too big to have in the videos😂
Toddlers can totally have independent play without any help from anyone. I don’t own a tv and there’s a few toys and the kitchen cupboards and he’s can happily play on his own for over an hour 😅 and now if we go to someone’s house with a tv going he’s not even interested but goes and plays he’s 19 months and has been doing this from the get go 😅
I have a three-nearly-four year old who struggles to play independently. She has a "Yes Space" and her toys are mostly right for her age and skills. I think she has possibly too many toys at once. I could do a toy rotation to keep her environment stimulating. I find playing with her difficult because she gets frustrated very easily and it's difficult for her to choose something to do that I can join her doing. She has a planning book with pictures of the activities she could choose to do and this can work sometimes. I think these steps will be good for me to try.
I love ur content ,always bang on correct. 😊❤
Emma always delivers! Thank you for important and interesting up-to-date helpful information at its essentials! Thank you❤
It's my pleasure! I hope this helps you get a few moments to yourself!
Love your videos! if you don't mind, what app/videos editor do you use to make your videos? Thank you🙂
Love your videos....straight to the point,educative, impactful
Thanks so much!
Came here for tips and these are stellar. I didn’t realize that we already do these things and that my toddler actually plays a long time (1-2 hours at a time). I’ll reset my expectations! 😂
Another great video Emma! I really love the suggestion of a “Yes Room” and rotating the toys. I will definitely implement these with my toddler.
I hope it helps!
Same my kiddos if happy for AGES 😅
Let kids do and figure this out for themselves. Sometimes show them but let them discover and they’ll be inquiring and independent cause they’ve done on their own/for themselves without you. We’ve never had a tv and when he sees one he’s totally bored and goes to play 😂
Hello Emma. Thank you for sharing such valuable information. I’d like to ask u, how do these rules differ in neurodivergent children ? Children who like being on the move a lot or spend time stimmimg, how can parents encourage them to play?
I'm so thankful for your videos
Thanks so much for trusting me and coming back.
The older they get they constantly need you to play with them
Thank you for this very interesting video!
My son is 12 months and I just learnt so many things and useful tips I had never heard of before
THANK YOU SO MUCH 😊
Glad it was helpful!
Hi Emma, I’m wondering if books count as one of the four toys? If so, how many books can I give to my almost one year old per play section? Thank you.
Hi, for which age is a playpen appropriate?
My baby is eight month old.i always introduce the toys to him as per your recommendation. Thank you Emma for your every educational vedio
It's my pleasure!
You're giving away all the Montessori tips! 😂 Great video as always ❤
Yes space is actually RIE not Montessori. It was coined by Janet Lansbury. And initially created by Magda Gerber & Dr Emmi Pikler.
My son is 15 months, still not able to stack up blocks, use shape sorter mostly throwing the toys is that normal ?
My son doesnt even sit still for screen time, so I don't give him screen time haha i do exactly what youve suggested here. Makes me feel like im having some wins!
That's great that you are already doing this. Definitely a win!
Thank you very much ma ❤❤❤❤
No worries❤
This is the greatest channel that i confidently introduced my Japanese friends in japan to raise their kids.
Thanks so much for trusting me and recommending me to your friends. It means a lot❤
Gave my kid a timer on the phone. He took the phone and didn't hear from him for an hour! Good tips 😉
Jk, good tips. It is kid dependent, my older could play for 5 minutes alone when he was 4 my youngest plays for 5-10 and his not 2 yet.
🤣
What if we create a perfect "yes space" and the kids just don't want to stay there? For example, we have a big comfy baby proofed room with awesome developmentally recommended toys. Yet our 1 year old twins just won't stay there for too long. They want to come out to explore, which means wanting to play with the cables, the trash bin etc. and all the other exciting forbidden stuff in our room. And they let us know what they want very efficiently by banging on the doors or really on anything so loud that we have to let them out. And I don't even want to confine them to a small space for too long. But the rest of the house can't be fully baby proofed, so when they're out we really do have to change to hawk mode.
Maybe they just wanna be where you are. I am not an expert cause my baby is playing alone maybe for three minutes, but when she does, she needs to be in a room with me like in a kitchen when I am cooking or bedroom while I am doing sth on my computer or even in bathroom when I am cleaning the bathroom. She is playing with her “coffee shop” it is basically four old ice cream caps and smalll bialetti machine and she is making coffee for everyone or using the old caps to pretend cook. She also likes playing with ropes for a longer period of time. She is 1,5. As long as I am in the room she plays but when i would leave the room she would stop the play and follow me.
@@Anna-dp8lf I think they just want to explore everything, they want to go out even when both of us are with them in the baby room. It can be a phase as well as they have recently started crawling so they might just want to fully exploit their new skills.
The age is what makes it hard. We never fully baby proofed our apartment. It was small enough that would have been impossible. So from around 11 to 15 months, it was constant redirection as well as some temporary barricades set up in front of certain things.
Like everything else in childhood, this too shall pass.
@@katiemccarty6351 we also live in a small apartment and noise is a concern, they can be so damn loud, screaming, banging etc. our neighbours are luckily quite tolerant and they have to tolerate a lot... yes spaces and baby proofing can go a long way but there's still the fundamental contradiction between wanting them to be "independent" and also not wanting them to cause trouble or hurt themselves.
We didnt do baby proofing. We explored with our children.
Love your content ❤❤❤
Thanks so much!
I want to teach my one year old this too, she doesn't understand words yet, therefore i can't tell her 'I'm going to cook for x mins', do you have any advice?
I never needed toys when I was younger. Had a bunch, hardly touched em. I mainly just played with my own hand puppets. 😁
Hello !I ve been dying to get your communication chart in my email but dunno what's going on...nothing in inbox or spam..I ve been checking for 2days..any idea about it?thank you!
Danke!
Thank you!!
My child is 10 months now. He can play by himself up to 50 minutes as long as I sit behind him. I'm wondering if his independent play is his ability or it is just that he's still a baby and doesn't need to interact with me that much? Will he be more demanding in the future? I like to play with him but I also want to develop his independent play so he can entertain himself.
I feel this is less about my 2-year-old and more about me... #DiagnosisedADHDParent
On that note, the channel "How to ADHD" is pregnant and publicly said they are looking to start a series on parenting techniques for parents with kids who are diagnosed with ADHD but more relevant to your content, parents with ADHD. It may be worth reaching out for a collab. Watching both of your channels helped immensely during the early days of our 2-year-old's life. Her channel for keeping my mind on track and yours for knowing what to do.
I follow that channel too! I've never been so excited to hear that CZcamsr is expecting 😊 I've never been formally diagnosed but her videos are really relatable 🤓 (and will be even more so now - we have a 16 month old)
@sandysanchez7151 I believe everything is a spectrum even the effects of ADHD. Mine are extreme and landed me in disability as I cannot focus on a work task for more than an hour. But even if you don't have or are only minorly inflicted the lessons learned from the ADHD community are just best practices for increasing productivity. My wife loves the channel too even though she is neurotypical and has since organized and labeled the entire house. I'd be lost without her. Thanks for saying hi Brain ;)
What do you do if you try to put the little one down in the playpen and walk away but they immediately cry?
Sit with them. Play for a while with them. Then leave a few minutes. After a few days- leave them a bit longer.
My toddler is in a hitting and throwing stage. No matter how many times we remind him that hands are for soft touches and for playing, or removing that thing or toy from his hands, he will find something around the house as mundane as his water cup or even a spoon to hit his sibling or me or my husband. I am not sure what to do.
It's great that you are reminding him of what he should do in the moment. But if the behaviour is still happening it's because there is a skill that he needs to learn. It might be sharing, or how to actually play with the toys. It's important to figure out why he is throwing and hitting and then work on developing this skill in the moments when he is calmer.
I hope that helps!
I’ve been teaching my daughter to breathe when she gets upset, I’ll tell her “let’s blow bubbles!” And it took some time but now she does it. After she’s calm, i tell her hey, instead of hitting mama can you be gentle? Like this. And have her pet my face or give me kisses.
She likes to wrestle so we also give her designated wrestle time. It all takes time and consistency
Trying to tell her what she can’t do when she’s upset just makes it worse
What about “you can play until the big hand on the clock over there gets to three??”
That one would work!
(Not even a parent here, I’m just watching these cuz I’m bored lol)
Do you have any advice for twins who always fight for a one toy even if they have the same toy twice, but want just the one which brother has? 😅
My twin Boys Are 2,5 yrs now. They love to play together - but it also easily turns into a bit of a fight/tantrum. I teached them also to cuddle/ make up and sing songs (easy songs about playing together f.i.) and we sing them while I am restoring their peace.
I also simply explain them their options: "You can have that- Brother has got this one."
I have a two year old and a three year old and it is very similar. They often fight. Today they fought again and I told them: If you are fighting, I don't wanna be around. So I left. They both gave in immediately.
Sometimes I think they just want to see which side I choose. But I had no nerves left today 😂
Hi mam.. my 2.5 yrs boy, often throwing toys,rotating tha toys, likewise he is playing . Is this right?. We should mind tat or let him play freely... Pls explain..
Hi! I would love to help but not really sure what you mean.
If he plays by throwing toys then it might be helpful to show him how to play with the toys. He might also be throwing them to gain your attention so I would just take note of how you respond when he does throw them. If he is trying to engage you then it might be helpful to start praising him for playing well with the toys.
@@EmmaHubbard oky mam..thank u.
@@mythilraj1685 no worries!
Plz help my 1 year old doesnt want to sleep
@@simonejohn7500maybe try looking at some books on the subject? I listened to "The helping babies sleep method" by Dr Sarah Mitchell and that was helpful for us 😊
I found my child played independently very well until maybe 16 months ..then things became more needy for some reason 🤷♀️
Separation anxiety peaks again at this age. So that might be why
@@EmmaHubbard yes it appears we are in the 18m sleep regression!
I cant believe that the toddler doesnt instantly attracted to the mobile phones and try to adjust the phone settngs.
What if the toddler doesn‘t play at all?
She gets everything out, „plays“ 5 minutes and then to the next one. Sometimes she just wanders around.. 😳😂
I'm not an expert but my approach would be to drastically reduce their toys to about 6-8 favorites and switching out toys that are not touched regularly.
I have an ikea kallax shelf with 1 activity/toy per cubby plus some teething things in my sons bedroom, about 3 toys in the living room and bedroom.
Hi Emma plz help me my 1 year old wakes up every 1 hour and does sleep well during the day
Since when? Maybe he's teething or sick? ear infection?
@@momosaku16 yes has most of his teeth his been teething since he was four months he’s not sick but as soon as I put him down he wakes up and want to play
Contact sleep in the bed. lay with them in bed and breastfeed/ give them formula until they fall asleep. Then sneak out of bed. My baby won't stay asleep if i don't do this.
@simonejohn7500
@@simonejohn7500 1 year, how many months exactly? Our daughter had a terrible regression when she was 18 months. also does your child still have two naps or has he moved to one nap? Have you tried physical exercise, is he walking yet? We take walks with our daughter (with her not being in her stroller but walking herself) to tire her out. Practicing climbing stairs, running, going to the park, etc works well for us too!
If they sleep well during the day, maybe they're getting too much daytime sleep?
There is a key phrase that instantly makes my 3yo able to play independently for any amount of time… it’s « sweety, dinner is ready! »
Jokes aside, thank you ! I will definitely send this to my husband who struggles with this more than me 😊
😂 so true!
First ❤❤
❤ Love it!
My son plays by himself all the time he’s only 11m. I never taught him how to do it. He just started doing it. If I’m not in the room and he needs me he will just come and get me.
My son too! 15 months old.
Mine too! He’s 15 months and I’m expecting another boy in March. I’m hoping he will be the same! I wonder if it’s just personality because I don’t feel like I did anything to teach him.
Yes, but she is referring to toddlers. My baby was very independent and the older she got the less independent she was when it came to plying. Def not trying to rain on your parades. Just sharing that it could change and that’s ok!
With all due respect, that probably means he’s an introvert and happy in his own company. My daughter wants to be with me all the time: she’s incredibly social, happy to be with anyone, but she prefers company. Doesn’t mean your kid is better than others.
Me too! My mom always is amazed at how independent my daughter (14 months) is. She loves her mommy, and she’s not really comfortable if I’m not in the room with her, but if I am she will happily just sit there and entertain herself for so long. She’s always been this way and it truly amazes me.