Mothica - forever fifteen (Official Music Video)
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- čas přidán 27. 02. 2021
- You are not alone.
forever fifteen ep - MARCH 19
presave here: ffm.to/foreverfifteen
Directed by Patrick Young & Powell Robinson
Cinematography by Powell Robinson
Produced by Our Secret Handshake
Starring Emily Angela
Colored by Kath Raisch
Gaffer - Hiram Borges
Key Grip - Nate Thomson
1st Ac: Adam Marquez
VFX - Ben Kadie
Styling Assistant - Drew Cockrell
Song credits: Mothica, Eva Honey, Alexandra Veltri, Lenii, David Burris
Follow me:
/ mothica
/ dearmothica
/ mothicamusic
/ mothicamusic
Spotify: open.spotify.com/artist/1JhiI... - Hudba
We need to give props to Momica for how beautiful her daughter both was and is.
Thank you! She’s an amazing daughter and person!
Momica! I love that!
We're referring to Mothica's mother as nothing else from now on
I'm voting to officially refer to mom as momica. This made my day
@@TheJunkFairy 🙃 I'm actually related to MacKenzie too! Nice to meet you, fellow Ellis!
“You’re too young to be this sad” and “I thought no one would miss me” hit hard. I too am a survivor. This whole song hit close to home. I’ve had five attempts. Thank you for this song. We love you.
Glad you’re still here, keep going!☺️
i’m so happy ur still here! sending a lot of love hoping ur doing great
Me too. I’m glad we made it.
Sending love and hugs to you. You are beautiful and strong ❤️❤️❤️
same. stay strong!
I'm crying. Imagining what your kiddo self would think of you if you ever did something to yourself makes me so emotional
This comment made me cry
@@bernk1642 Hey, I just wanna say I'm so proud of you for staying strong
I harmed myself when i was a kid myself because of family issues, i was trying to commit suicide because i felt like a burden since my mother said so but yeah as u can see I'm still here and I'm still in the same state. It's been 12 years. I'm just sharing my experience but i feel like im just attention seeking :/
@@lem0nk3t You're not attention seeking. I'm so proud of you for holding on and you're NOT a burden. Everyone has a place on this world and I hope you find yours. I hope you're doing better now. This world sucks but it's all we got, right
Ey you, building others up, I see you. I'm proud of you. Thank you for being a kind soul and creating a small safe space for complete strangers. You're important.
it hurts knowing that there's so many of us out there that have attempted or done s/h but seeing all of those faces of those of us who survived through it makes me proud that we're all still here
“You’re too young to be this sad” was THE MOST PAINFUL THING adults said to me when I was 11-16. I was hurting myself, starving myself, and all they would do is tell me I was “being dramatic - it’s not that serious.” 💔
I'm so sorry, that's sounds awful. I've dealt with similar things (but this isn't about me) and what I've learned is that your pain? It's valid. No matter what your family, your friends, your teachers, strangers, ANYONE says, only you know your heart and your mind. You know that you're struggling. You know you're in pain. You know that you need help. And it takes a long time, but eventually, that will be enough. You'll learn to validate and love yourself. And then? You'll find friends, or maybe a partner, who loves and cares about you. Who appreciates your valuable thoughts and contributions. Who honors your wishes, respects you, reminds you that you're enough. Who will be there for you when you're down, and up, and will love you despite your flaws, and encourage you to improve yourself if at points you choose to. Life will keep going, and going, and time will pass. You'll feel awful sometimes. But in between those bouts of pain? You'll be *happy*. You'll enjoy all of the positive experiences, fulfilling relationships, and silly times that you deserve. Because it gets better.
Take care ❤️
And then they wonder why they are so many messed up adults running around, we were ignored when we needed help.
Fuck me. You don't shy away from your issues that *everyone* needs to hear, to understand that we're not alone. Thank you for this.
More artists need to sing life.
You read my mind
My girlfriend and I are on Skype, watching this for the first time and sobbing. This is so important.
THR FACT THAT I AM IN THIS PICTURE MAKES ME EMOTIONAL
Just cried, for that sweet child, and for that strong woman.
i don’t know anyone who could watch this without crying
@@melamoli5244 I did but it's because I already ran out of tears for today 😢
We lost some of us and some pieces of ourselves on our way here. But the thing is that we're here now. We made it till here and I'm so fucking proud of you no matter what :) No matter who, where or when i hope this comment attracts the positive things and calls out the power in you. Have an amazing day :)
After watching this music video im in tears. Ever since I tried taking my life back when I was 9 years old, I always felt like I had that little girl by my side. The time where she never knew such pain and I have to hide her away from any pain I'm currently going through because I don't want her to lose that innocences. I feel like im fighting for my life just for her and feel that I can't disappoint her.
It's also in a sense feel like backage for me because I'm still holding on to that pain and to that childhood innocent that I once had. I just want to be at the point where I can just let it all go and close that part of my life.
I tried taking my life back when I was nine too. Only that, my father brought the weapon that I would try to off myself with.
You’re still that baby girl, just trying to feel okay & get her needs met. I feel the same about myself now that I’ve realized, wait a minute. That’s me. I’m still her and I want to protect & love her. She just wants to have fun and not hurt others, but help them. I hope one day you can fully cherish that part of yourself angel. You deserve the world. Sending all my love!!
i tried at 9 too, i never actually went through with it though, i wasn't brave enough and im still not
@@rcs009 That’s a good thing. That’s you knowing you want to feel better, deep down inside. Don’t listen to the shitty voices in your head, they want to steal your joy. Even small joys like music & art & your friends. You’re so incredibly loved my dear.
my family still makes a joke about my attempt because they thought i couldn’t ever go deep enough to actually leave. this song hits a lot of places and i’m glad you’re still here but also helping so many others by sharing your voice.
I hope you have someone else to talk to about your problems if your parents don't understand them. If you don't i'm sure a lot of people do want to talk even if you don't know them, like a lot of people in this comment section (including me but i get that it may be strange/uncomfortable).
I under stand how you feel I was 11 and my dad died I had depression and before he died my dad thought that I was just being dramatic and wanted attention but I almost did it the once and I'm so proud that I'm still here and I'm proud of the others to who stayed strong
MOTHICA IS UNDERRATED SHE NEED MORE🥺🌸✨
Seeing myself makes me so proud to still be here
We are also so proud of you, love. ❤️
@@blueindeed2226 thank you!
@@ezpeasylemonsqueezys of course lovely
@@ezpeasylemonsqueezys ♡
Story time:
I saw Mothica open for Coheed & Cambria a few months ago and the show was very important to me for a few reasons, but one that really stuck with me was because it was my cousins favorite band and I felt like I owed it to him to see them.
I never knew much or listened to Mothica before the show, and during her set she talks about her battles with depression and her attempted suicide. Hearing this song live and the atmosphere, it brought me back to 2015 when I lost my cousin.
He would be forever 30. How I didn't burst into tears at the show and just collapse was a personal miracle, but it was a message from Mothica that I needed to hear.
I'm nearing the 7 year anniversary of his passing, and I gotta tell myself every time: Be strong for everyone around you. People WILL miss you when you're gone.
To any moths that are still here, just know I'm proud of you and I hope you can continue to fight the fight.
Forever 30, Andrew "AJ" Kirk. Rest in Peace.
This song already helped me, today was the 2 year anniversary of my friend leaving us and this song reminded me of them
Thank you for this and everything else you do your music is a comfort to me, not only has it helped me stay positive in this day it keeps me hopeful I’ll be able to make it 1 year without hurting (7 months so far), you give me hope and comfort and I am thankful for every bit of it
I can't imagine that pain. My heart goes out to you and everyone effected. Keep on keeping on
I hope you made it to that one year! I hope your doing better and stay safe
There's nothing
Try, try to look a little older
So I can go
Down to the bar, there's someone waiting
To take me home
I can't take it, all the damage done
Wanna sink into oblivion
Could be anything or anyone
Anyone at al
He said, "Love that you're 15"
Ten shots of whiskey he brought to my bedside
Said, "Now you'll be alright"
When I was 15, I thought no one would miss me
They're all just pretending, so I wrote the ending
When they say that it's not that bad
You're too young to be this sad
Makes you wanna do something that you can't take back
And be forever 15
Would you have missed me at all?
Walk down the halls a little slower
So nobody knows
Oh, hold, hold my head a little lower
Just want to let it go
I can't take it, all the damage done
Wanna sink into oblivion
Could be anything or anyone
Anyone at all
He said, "Love that you're 15"
Ten shots of whiskey he brought to my bedside
Said, "Now you'll be alright"
When I was 15, I thought no one would miss me
They're all just pretending, so I wrote the ending
When they say that it's not that bad
You're too young to be this sad
Makes you wanna do something that you can't take back
And be forever 15
Would you have missed me at all?
Ophelia, think I see ya underwater
Ophelia, think I see ya underwater
He said, "Love that you're 15"
Ten shots of whiskey he brought to my bedside
Said, "Now you'll be alright"
When I was 15, I thought no one would miss me
They're all just pretending, so I wrote the ending
When they say that it's not that bad
You're too young to be this sad
Makes you wanna do something that you can't take back
And be forever 15
Would you have missed me at all?
The line 'you're too young to be this sad' hits me harder every time. It's almost verbatim what my parents said to me when they found out i was diagnosed with depression nearly three years ago now.
Your music makes me feel validated, thank you mothica
This is the exact same thing my parents said when I told them that I was suffering from depression.
I'm 15 and it's been 2 1/2 years since my last attempt. Thanks for showing me that living a good life despite the past is possible. I really love the song ❤
god this song makes me cryyyy,,, i am so very honoured to be featured in it. I'm in the rainbow jumper at 3:16. Makes me really warm to see other people who understand surrounding me. sending lots of love to everyone listening to this song and having to remember their worst moments. it gets better :)
you're so pretty omg
@@suraart6719 oh my god thank you so much ;-; that is so sweet
I'm sitting here crying just as much as I did the first time I listened to this song. Thank you Mothica, this song means so much.
I'm so glad you're still here today to help people with your music
I haven’t had an experience like this myself, but I have a lot of friends who suffer from severe depression since a young age and this moved me so much. I’m glad that you’re here to share your story, to give others courage, and to also tell them that it’s alright. 💙
Setting all the reminders so I'm right here when it premiers
I shouldn't be alive. I was a black sheep. And I'm a survivor. I went thru alot as a child. Never spoke. And lost my life several times. No matter what ending my life will not resolve anything. Thank you Mothica for this song. I'm ok now. It's not easy life. But each step is a journey closer to healing. Ur awesome!
I relate to this song so much. I was 15 when I hit my lowest point. I had attempted suicide and was in the hospital for 4 months. I survived but now I live with the scars as a daily reminder. It's been 5 years but I'm still struggling.
I'm happy that you're alive :) love you xo
Hang on! It'll be okay
"Your too young to be this sad" is a sentence that should have never existed.
Glad you're still here to share your story and talent with the world.
Back when I was in a psychiatric hospital I asked a girl that I hanged out with there “whats the saddest song you know?” And she told me this song. I rly miss you karan
I broke down crying watching this, I am coming close to three years clean from self-harm.
Hey! I know I'm late, but I wanted to congratulate you. I myself am 9 months clean, and that's a lot for me. Three years? That's an *incredible* amount of dedication, and hard work to get there. That's an immense achievement, and you should feel very proud of yourself for coming this far. I'm so glad you're still here, and that you have learned healthier coping strategies.
Take care ❤️
This song honestly is such a comfort place for me, even though the lyrics are heartbreaking the fact that I can hear these words and music today is because of the fact that Mothica is still here. Fighting. And it gives me so much hope because that means I can do it too. So, I love this song so much and thank you for sharing this story with us! ❤️❤️
I was there for the 8 minute premiere chat and everyone here is just so loving and kind and I'm so happy me and all of them find your music. It's truly inspiring and as shown through this video, beautiful. Thank you 💙💙🦋💙💙
i can’t imagine a world without you
The thing about thinking nobody will miss us is that we aren't considering the lost future. Maybe nobody actually would miss us when we're at our worst. But who knows what the future holds?
“they’re all just pretending, so i wrote the ending” gave me chills. i thought no one felt the same pain i did when i was young, that no one actually cared and i was just an annoyance in their eyes. this was and is a lie that my depression and anxiety told me. i was and am worthy of love, respect, kindness, space, and life itself. this is a beautiful song. thank you for sharing your story.
That video was rough, yo. Been there a lot. So glad all of you are here with us.
So glad I got to see her open for Coheed in Queens, too.
thank god that girl survived
the earth would have missed the best musician girl ever and such a great person.
i cant describe how much i love Mothica music
*virtual hugs for Monica* ❣
the little girl broke my soul especially at the end. the tears won’t stop coming😭
If you would have died I have never heard this amazing song. Thank you that you are still alive and create musics!!!❤
I’ve been listening to thing song since it came out and I’m still so damn obsessed. One day Mothica is gonna be huge but I’m so glad to have found her before that so I can say I’m so damn glad you’re alive. Your music has inspired me deeply.
THIS!! I can’t wait until more people who need her art discover this magnificent human. We can all heal and sob together 🥲😂
Nothing made me more emotional than seeing child mothica, then watching her put up the picture of mothica with everyone else. Got me choked up out here
I've tried before but I'm actually happy I'm here.
I’ve been falling back into that really dark place I was when I made my first attempt at 14 and I just want to say thank you for sharing your story and helping so many people cope in a way
I am glad that you were with us in Hungary! ~ 2023.11.20! BVB ~
I was in tears all the way through this song and you moved me, also with the way you talked about yourself during the breaks. I'm glad to have met you. I hope you come here again!
this song is so important to me, i can’t wait to watch the mv!!
Important message you have in this song thank you!!! Just want everyone reading these comments to know you aren't alone and you are loved
I put my pic and although I don’t see it. Lately I’ve had thoughts again. Seeing this helps. Saying my story to someone else helped. Thank you
this song is so important to me i cant waitt
this song showed up on my spotify discover and it hit me hard. i relate to the lyrics way too much. something very traumatic happened to me when i was 15 by someone i thought i could trust and attempted suicide. i'm 23 now and doing better. i'm glad this song came up on my spotify and allowed me to discover mothica.
Oh gee, this hit close to home. High school was a nightmare for me social-wise. I couldn’t relate to anyone, I had no close friends, and my depression was only getting worse. I thought nobody cared about me and that everyone would eventually forget me if I died. Every single kind deed directed towards me was just misconstrued as pity by my insecure mind. I heard this song come across my Spotify in the middle of my 12th year, and I found it really comforting that someone felt the same way I did and still survived after all that suffering.
Nowadays, my depression is nowhere near as bad as it used to be, but I still sometimes come back to this song because not only is it low-key a banger, but it gives me hope for the future.
It reminds me that I’m here and I’m okay.
Thank you for sharing your story with us, Mothica.
seeing all those survivors makes me so grateful and happy. Love you guys.
Hey. I just want to say, To anyone reading this: Im Proud of you staying here 💜💜 Your incredible. And if you have lost someone to this.... I want to tell you that you are strong. You are powerful. And Stay alive for them. If you die then the memories of them will die.
You are strong. Im proud. Im happy Your here...
“And they say that it’s not that bad, you’re too young to be this sad, makes you wanna do something that you can’t take back” I love this lyric
I hope you're no longer having those dark thoughts. This song made me cry. I found this song somewhat relatable , in regards to my own mental health.
You have...outdone yourself. The raw vulnerability here has brought me to tears. I am so honored to be featured on that wall. Thank you. Im so glad you're here. The impact you've had on me personally can't be captured in words.
Stan this girl✋
I really appreciate this video!! It’s such a beautiful song❤️ I hope a lot of people who are struggling will see this, and will see that they are not alone! You are such a beautiful person! Thank you all for sharing your story, Thank you for being you and Keep fighting💓
Im so excited about this, I love the song and have listened to it a lot ever since it came out on Spotify and CZcams.
I'm so proud of you, and I'm so glad you and everyone else is still here. This song is incredible and necessary.
Thank you for such an awesome song. Too many people, including myself, have been so terrified to speak up. Because our abusors are part of the family and we have been tasked to keep the secret.
I feel you, keep going!
you're not alone you're one of my most fav singers
so excited
Me too
I’m here from your suicide attempt story, decided to watch someone’s story rather than create my own, and it helped me make smart decisions in my time of pain. This is the first song I’ve heard of yours and honestly it’s amazing. You are so insanely talented and I’m so glad you’re alive.
As a 15 year old and someone who has gone through the same kinds of sh*ts hearing this hits real hard.
I wish people could understand us a little better.
Thank you, Mothica
Because of you and the people in the comments made me realise once again that I am not the only one suffering.
Oh man I’m crying so much rn, this is truly beautiful. I may have wrote my story knowing I’m still dealing with those thoughts but I think we all can agree it never can be a perfect recovery that each day can be a battle but if we still get up everyday and are still here I’d consider that a victory worth celebrating for.
if I could go back and give my younger self a hug and tell them I see how much they’re hurting, I would do it a thousand times over.
I’m still not sure how to feel - I still don’t quite feel like people would miss me if I were gone, but I’m trying to make the best of every day. It’s hard to be optimistic when you’re numb to everything. If thirteen year old me is somewhere in there, i feel like I should learn to love myself again and take care of myself for them.
If I don’t, who will? Who will tell them it’s okay?
you’ve created such a beautiful thing
This song is everything... I was literally in all the same life places right down to the lyric. After years of grooming and abuse in church I went way off the rails knowing I wouldn't survive it, now I'm 32, want to live, 2 years clean and have found myself with lawyers addressing my abuse and this just really brings back alot, but in a good way. Just to see how far out of that hole I've crawled and how much I've been able to get off my chest without crawling back.
I'm so proud of you and know that you're loved as much as you deserve by all of us. Stay strong, love. ❤️
You just saved lives!❤
When I was 14 my best friend died in front of me. It was an accidental gunshot done by our other idiot friend who broke into his dad’s gun cabinet.
The next year someone I was budding friends with attempted suicide. I was so, so angry at them. I didn’t understand the fact that they wanted to take their own life. I thought it was so selfish and fucked up, when my best friend died so young without a choice. I had never felt this type of anger before.
Years later I developed terrible depression. Only after my own trials did I realize the true mental struggles others go through.
I will never understand anyone’s personal struggles, but I will understand that everyone has them. Thank you for telling your story.
Incredibly emotive song. Sadly, very relateable for someone close to me who also, thakfully, survived. I'm glad you're still here. Stay strong; you're not alone.
oh my god. mothica is so strong, i wanna be like her when i grow up
I can't remember the last time a song made me cry but this one broke whatever streak I had. "I wrote the ending" and "makes you wanna do something that you can't take back" are lyrics that hit so hard. Knowing there are almost 3000 people who are feeling the same way I do helps me feel a little less alone.
this is amazing. ily so much, i’m so glad you’re here and thank you for this song :( ♡
Oh my god I am so grateful for a song like this. It has been 3 weeks since I last cut myself and just hearing this song has hit hard in all sorts of emotional ways. I love you mothica for opening up about your past and helping thousands of others.
As a survivor of attempts and as someone who was s/h-ing for years this resonates with me on a different level
Wow. Oh my god. I can’t wait until you get the full recognition you deserve, this helped me & so many others. I love you and I’m so thankful you’re still here.
I'm not a person that cries much when listening to music, unless I'm actually in a very depressed mood, I'm just feeling touched and sad. I'm actually doing quite okay right now, but watching this made me started crying so hard. I love this song and I love you so much for creating it. Thank you for being here.
Hi Makenzie,
My name is Aubrey. I am 31 (32 June 28th, 2023)
I've listened to and resonated with your music so much over the years.
As in I've been able to understand your struggle with addiction and escapism.
I thought I had all the answers and that I was self-aware enough to rationalize my own bad decisions that happen to be my newest excuses.
This song allows me to be real and honest with myself while also working through the anger that so often holds me back. Thank you for putting into words what so many of us couldn't.
Yayyyy so proud
I would have loved her music when I was younger. Still do!
I have honestly never heard a song or seen a music video that makes me tear up, until this. This is incredible. I have a past that i dont talk about but somehow this song is helping me deal with it so thank you 🙂
Mothica you did it again. I’m in tears 😭💜 this was beautiful
Everyone deserves to be happy, everyone deserves to live a long life, everyone deserves to be heard
God you’re such an amazing artist. This month was the 8 year anniversary of getting out of my teenage abusive relationship and this April will be 6 years clean from self harm. Your music is so touching and beautifully tragic and hopeful all at once. Thank you for staying alive. ❤️
I’m so proud of you and everything you’ve accomplished! This song and the music video are beautiful!
And to everyone else, you can get through this I love you🥰
Am i the only one who liked and unliked several times just to be able to like it multiple times because of how good it is???❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Congratulations Mothica, love that you won't be forever 15❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Watched it at Reading festival and burst into tears
This video...Wow...I'm crying...this song is sooooo important to me, I'm also a survivor. Mothica, THANK YOU, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND YOU ARE SUCH A WONDERFUL ARTIST. MOMICA....YOU BROUGHT A SUCH A JOY AND BLESSING OF A DAUGHTER TO THE WORLD!!! I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER NOW!!! 💙💙💙👑👑👑🦋
Love you queen you deserve so much because you have given people so much you are so important to me that...your my idol...keep doing what your doing and ...always know you have people with you
I keep coming back to this song. I feel like crying every time I look back at old photos of me. I was in so much pain, and I still am, but I always looked so sad. I'm glad I survived my attempt.
So glad to see you getting the recognition and love you deserve. Never stop doing what you do queen Moth.
I was consumed by my own judgement, I was too busy to see the better parts of myself, I kept being harsh on myself and this had become a cycle. And at times I wondered what would it be like to just leave. I took it that far to the point I saw my health deteriorating. I had people reach out to me when I posted a message. It was strange to see that they cared. I realized I had so much to be grateful for, so explore within myself and the mistakes I had made won't define my existence. Thank you for sharing your story ❤️
Why is all of this so underrated?
Beautiful. I’m so glad you are here.
I just recently came across your music, and this song really hit me in the gut. I was a self harmer for most of my teenage years, as a result of the abuse and trauma I endured, paired with constant bullying and untreated mental health issues. It's been 12 years since I laid in that very same position in a hospital bed, wondering how the hell I could even go on. I constantly fight an uphill and downhill battle with my mental health. Depression, PTSD, panic disorder, eating disorder, ADHD...
I feel like I'm watching my life through your music, and it's comforting to know that at least someone else "gets it". I'm glad you're still here, and I appreciate you sharing your dark vulnerable moments.
I would have been forever seventeen if my attempt was successful. Thank you for speaking for so many of us. So much love for you, Mothica
As a survivor from an attempt taken almost 5 months ago..this hit hard. I graduated class of 2020, I moved two hours away for college only for everything to be pushed to online classes. I lived in an apartment alone, I hated my job. Classes became a struggle. Housework..became a struggle. Soon I was making excuses to call into work, and email my professors saying I wouldn't be in class just because I didn't feel strong enough to get out of bed. October 13, 2020 will always be stuck with me forever, but I'm so happy that I made that call to my mom, two hours away. If I hadn't, I might have died there, alone. Thank you for sharing your story with us, this is such a beautiful song. ❤
This song really hits me, i was 13 years old when i did my first attempt because nobody wanted to help me. This because i was "too young to be this sad" , the line really hits me. I'm still fighting from this day on but i must say i'm proud of everyone that survived!! And thank you Mothica for creating such beautifull song!!