Mothica - everything at once (Official Music Video)
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- čas přidán 19. 07. 2020
- forever fifteen ep - MARCH 19
presave here: ffm.to/foreverfifteen
Shot / Directed / Edited / Colored by Mothica
Thanks to Momica for holding the camera for a few shots!
Concept: I wanted to show two sides: on the left, me following all the advice that people give me to deal with depression. For example, eat healthy! wake up early! exercise! read! go outside! And on the right, all the things my brain wants me to do. Lay in bed all day, stare at my phone, and feel depleted.
Follow me: linktr.ee/mothica
(and links to merch!)
Thank you for all the support recently. It means the world to me.
I feel like this describes how it feels to have “good” days mentally vs “bad” days mentally so well. No matter if you have a “good” or “bad” day you still feel depressed/numb/everything at once. It’s wild how accurate this is.
totally agree
You couldnt have said this better!
I feel like that's the result you get from not treating major depression properly...
I was just thinking the same thing.
Agreed
"Said I'm fine but we both know I'm fakin' " I felt that a lot
Most songs talk about how people are numb when depressed, they feel dead inside. But when I’m having an episode I don’t feel numb I feel overwhelmed with anxiety and the hopelessness of my depression. I always pretend to be fine but honestly, I’m not, and I’m not breaking down because I’m legitimately too anxious to cry. Thank you for this song, it really helped me understand myself a bit better
This is gonna sound a bit outta pocket but anxious depression is often a sign it might be actually mixed bipolar episodes.
I hate when they say it's an aesthetic I have attempted and I felt alot don't tell aizawa sensei
I remember one time I was having a really rough day, started having thoughts of suicide. My grandmother happened to text and asked if I wanted to call. Normally I would say I'm fine but I guess the joke of everyone feeling like they can tell her everything is true. It was a short call, but after we hung up I cried harder than I have in a long time.
“I’m coming off apathetic I play it off as an aesthetic , clearly I care to much” same
This whole YEAR got me feeling everything at once
RT
This whole life got me feeling anything at once
Yeah 😔
Yep
This literally portrayed my mania vs depression and I’m actually crying this spoke to me on such a personal level. You are so incredibly talented!
Yep Bipolar stuff right here.
Also cool tattoos
@@yoohoodrinker566 Yesssss. Having Borderline, this is basically my new anthem?
Mine too.
Facts
Lyrics
I can't cry, I'm too anxious
Restless mind, I can't shake this
Said I'm fine, but we both know I'm fakin'
I'm not feeling numb
I'm just feeling everything at once
Hate when you ask how I'm doin'
I know that you're just assumin'
I'm better now, not bleeding out
Get outta bed on a good day
Lately that's all I can do, hey
I go through hell to hide myself
I think about new ways to hurt me
But don't want my mother to see
It's not that I feel undeserving
Just blame it on the chemistry
That's why
I can't cry, I'm too anxious
Restless mind, I can't shake this
Said I'm fine, but we both know I'm fakin'
I'm not feeling numb
I'm just feeling everything at once
Oh-oh, oh-oh
I'm just feeling everything at once
Oh-oh, oh-oh
I'm just feeling everything
Whatever I do, I can't slow down
Please, don't leave me alone now
'Cause when I stop, my demons talk
I'm comin' off apathetic
I play it off like it's anesthetic
Clearly I care too much, but I'm foolin' everyone
Oh, I think about new ways to hurt me
But don't want my mother to see
It's not that I feel undeserving
Just blame it on the chemistry
That's why
I can't cry, I'm too anxious
Restless mind, I can't shake this
Said I'm fine, but we both know I'm faking
I'm not feeling numb
I'm just feeling everything at once (Once)
Oh-oh, oh-oh
I'm just feeling everything at once
Oh-oh, oh-oh
I'm just feeling everything at once
Oh-oh, oh-oh
I'm just feeling everything at once
Oh-oh, oh-oh
I'm just feeling everything at once
Coincidence: this song came out in 2020 where we feeling everything at once 25 HOURS TO WAIT WTF
“I thought you already got over this. You chose to be unhappy.” - my parents to me
Mothica is the only artist that has made songs that actually say everything i feel. Like other singers talk about things i feel but usually its a song towards a boy that hurt them but a boy has never broken my heart because my heart was never whole to begin with...
this song is still something i listen to on repeat. i was just sitting here, hiding away in the quietest, darkest room of my house. you cant escape from the feelings no matter what you do. i dont want to sit on my phone scrolling through the same things every day. i wish i could do more than the same 2 things. i wish showers made me feel better like they used to. i wish hanging out with people helped. i wish exercise and healthy food fixed it all. everything is draining and theres no knowing who you are anymore. thank you for expressing this through music. you finally got me to cry while my body has refused to all day
This is exactly how I feel, nothing works anymore. I try to do things I love but it does not feel the same anymore. I try to be better and do more but still can’t feel enough. Now I just stay in bed all day, can’t even cry anymore. I feel too much all at once, which seems like I’m numb cause it’s all locked inside me. I can’t express my emotions right now. I just stay quiet and in my head. Can’t even fake a smile. I don’t know how to feel better. Lost my appetite, lost my interest, lost hope, I feel helpless. I’m not always like this. I usually see the best things in life but now I feel like I live a lie.
Drug free therapy and meditation
Helped me
If there's a video to ever describe how I constantly feel thanks to my mental illnesses, it's THIS.
Getting up and doing everyday things like the side on the left but mentally feeling like the side on the left, as if I'm not actually up and doing things but I'm just still in bed doing nothing.
I love this. You captured exactly how I feel vs. what everyone thinks you should do. Definitely a repeat song for me. Thank you Mothica
You’re the first singer I have ever felt in my entire life “these songs are written for me”
Oh this is beautiful
I wonder what people’s bad days were like without the wide use of technology...
I know that when I am in a mentally bad place, I waste my whole day on my phone/laptop.
I often get lost in a book with a captivating story and a happy ending so that I forget this world exisits.
Can't wait! Premiere is 2am my time. Sleep is overated anyways.
Ghana
Just found this song and it made me break down in tears. Ive never related to a song so much. Im doing really bad right now with my mental health after literal years of clawing to the surface. Quarantine has made me do a 180. I use to go to the gym, eat healthy, visit my therapist every week and was managing my anxiety so well for the first time in my life.
Now my therapist suddenly took a new position so i cant even talk to her through email, i have only left my house twice since march and feel like im the only one struggling right now because my anxiety has made me agoraphobic and.. idk this song just makes me feel so seen.
I know im just a stranger on the internet but from deep down in my heart thank you so much! i cant wait for blue hour to drop💕
Tina i’m so sorry you’re having a hard time right now :-( you are definitely not alone! We will get through this. 💙 don’t give up
@@Mothica thank you so much, you replying honestly means so much to me❤
This song reminds me of how mental health really is and what everyone deals with
I feel everything at once and nothing at all at the same time, it is hard to explain but this song really spoke to me just like loads of others in the comments but what makes me appreciate this so much is the fact that you can see the emotion put into her songs and videos and she is helping a lot of people see that they are not alone and never will be
I was diagnosed with Borderline last week. I've been trying to figure out how it's affected my life and what it feels like to have this when this song popped in my life. Everything at once. This song's taken on a new meaning for me, thank you
Im glad I found a artist who really knows how I feel
Sometimes I feel like I'm faking my deppression and anxiety bc I'm fine one day and it's horrible the next
Yes I have been diagnosed with both from a doctor I have medicine for it,
Cried while watching this.. thank you for speaking out about something that’s so real yet people push it under the rug. Mental health needs more awareness.
I love the portrayal of the scale and the candies during “I think of new ways to hurt me.” Because the truth is that even when you’re “okay”, if you struggle with yourself, such as an eating disorder or weight or anxiety or just physical thoughts, that scale’s number can be harmful. So the “healthy” side of this video shows a bit of unhealthy too.
Ive felt like this so much in my life. Everyone has their moments with their depression and anxiety. I was so anxious yesterday and now I'm crashing lol. It happens to the best of us! Do some selfcare, eat and relax ❤️
I don’t think I’ve ever felt so understood before. This song literally gift wraps my feelings on a daily basis into a neat little digestible package for my ears. So thank you. You’re amazing, as are many of your songs
I’m literally tearing up because the way this portrays high functioning individuals is so accurate because even tho she seems better she is literally just as hurt and is struggling just as much as the other girl. You’re music is so impactful and I can’t wait to see everything that you’re gonna do.
I just want to say thank you. Your music saved my life.
I struggle pretty bad with depression spurts and then a burst of energy to clean then I crash back into my dark depressing place. I try hard to get over the bump but it never seems to end.
I don’t know what you do but this song is exactly how I feel day in and day out and seeing it on video and how you portrayed it hit me with immense emotion. Thank you 💚
This song really speaks to me on a personal level. Thank you for making music that others can relate to and find comfort in💖💕
The fact that she has a drawer of mini snickers and that’s like my favorite chocolate. I can become obsessed with eating them. I literally have been forcing myself to feel better about myself and do the left instead of the right for the sake my health and my kids. I didn’t even realize this was the video when I used this for my Tik tok about rebirthing your mind to switch from thoughts of depression and thoughts of self love and worthiness.
I love this. I feel like one side is about her good days and the other is the bad ones. I can certainly relate I have more bad days then good these days. I love how she shows the medication which is so stigmatized and my doc now wants me on meds and I feel bad for taking them. It just shows depression and her songs always stick with me and make me feel heard. Her songs are like reaching out and saying I understand you're not alone. Been listening to her for years she's sooooo fire. Love you mothica ❤️
IM SO EXCITED IVE BEEN WAITING SINCE I SAW THE TIKTOK ABOUT YOU WORKING ON IT AAAHHHHHHH
Me too Xd
On the daily I don't feel anything except anger and frustration...but I've been listening to this song a lot in the previous months.
No matter how much you feel good temporarily, depression is always there, two days or a week are a pretty good achievement...but you're not at the finish line.
Thanks for portraying so many feelings in a way everyone can understand. I hope your talent, songs and passion will reach more people in the future.
(I know that you probably won't read this, but it means a lot to leave a comment under this video anyways)
"Feeling everything at once" helped me understand myself just a little bit more
I never thought a song could capture my childhood and teenage emotions.
Left side; what you want to do, vs right side; what you actually do. Your mind can cripple you. As much as you want to be better all you can do is exist. So you imagine what you could be doing to better yourself and dissociate for a while, as you wait for the time to pass. And try to keep believing that time will mend the war that wages inside of your mind. You wish to be so much more, but don't possess the belief system in yourself, mental and physical energy, and motivation to drag yourself out of the abyss. So you float in and out of reality and allow the time to pass until your head hits that pillow once again for as many hours life will allow you to seek relief.
Whole being: Incapable of keeping meaningful, lengthy relationships
Right: Engaging in relationships in the short term and feeling good about them.
Left: Having nagging doubts, abandoning, driving the other person away.
When your feeling down people often tell you to shut up and calm your self down when really you should just let it all out and music is a great way to do that
Such a great video, this had me in my feels. (Also, I can't not say anything about how cute that Pom was)
People talk about being numb when they are feeling at their worst. I feel numb when I'm feeling "stable".
This song describes me but yet I still cry.
Soooooo ready! You’re amazing ❤️
Me during a sensory overload is literally this whole song
I love this!!!! The song is so catchy and well written. But it also has all the insinuations and meaning of how people live through so much....a lot of that being something versus another.
I love the duality of the video and that was portrayed perfectly!!!
I just found you as an artist recently and I’m so, so glad I did!!! You are such a huge inspiration!!!
Cannot wait to see what the future has for you!!!
Forever a part of the “swarm” (if that is the fan base name 😉).....but also forever a fan!!!
Love it!! Amazing! 💙💙💙
On repeat daily, blessings ! Lost my BF over NYE... Rip Matt Burt
My daughter loves your music (well, the songs she can listen to, she's only 6). Thanks for making such good songs, and in 6 years when puberty depression hits, I plan to use this song to help her understand what she's facing.
This video is a great representation of the struggle a lot of us are going through. I love what you did with it
Premieres on my birthday?!?! Omfg yaaaaasssssss!!! Thank you for giving me something to look forward to. ♡♡
Same here lol birthday twins!!!!!!
@@jaydenemcgregor5862 happy birthday then ^.^
happy birthday :D lol
happy birthday
Thank you, cuties!!
The depression hoodie really is a mood
These songs hit different now after watching the video of your life story
I love the way she says "numb" 😩🖤
"I go though hell to hide myself" I felt that lyric a little too much
Spend 2020 on the left & was doing well, now I’m stuck on the right with depression almost every day & just feel empty.
Ik this isn't exactly the visual, but to me one side shows what people think depression looks like and the other side where she's going through her daily life, is what depression can sometimes look like if needed to be hidden
This song shows exactly what depression feels like
This video is an artistically brilliant depiction of the simultaneous conflicting desire to do nothing at the same time as wanting to get to a healthier place.
The scale next to the box of candy was so accurate, on good days I'll get on the scale, and on bad days I'll eat a lot of candy. Not only the video but the lyrics were so fitting. everything about this song helps me feel better on my good days and helps me understand myself more on my bad days. Thank you Mothica/Mckenzie!
When was the moment you realized Mothica was THE artist? For me it was this music video. The duality, the mirror scene, the hands reaching for the sky, the way it perfectly encapsulates how it feel. Art
This song fucks me up and heals me at the same time.
All I can say is thank you for staying alive
Your amazing and I respect your courage to put shit out there others are afraid to lyrically. Totally relate
This is beautiful. So glad your music was recommended to me. Your music is so pretty and nice to listen to, but you aren't afraid to get into dark and gritty topics. Thank you for being so open and creating this song and video. Hope to see you go far!
1:20 with ‘Forever Fifteen’ blocked out on the left felt really powerful
Wow. This video describes me completely in ways I am not able to portray. I feel this so deeply.
I'm just feeling everything at once
I’m still sober thanks to Mothmom. I’m still alive thanks to Mothmom.
I’m out and love myself thanks to Mothmom.
If you can’t do it for yourself right now, find any (healthy) reason to keep going. It gets better, it’s worth it.
Love all the music I’ve heard so far! You’re a great artist, I connect so deeply with this song.
This actually took my breath away. Thank you for making something so powerful.
My NEW favorite artist omg thank you for being so real.
i like how both sides are still feeling these feelings, because certainly its good to have these things incorporated in your life, it does not erase the fact that you are dealing with a mental illness. amazing work once again!
Your music is painfully relatable.
this is seriously stuck in my head randomly. Good job :D
This song gives me chills every time I listen to it 🥺
This is exactly how I feel with my anxiety and with whatever else is going on. This is just, spot on.
This song just hits me hard. I love it. It honestly describes how I feel and is kind of like how most of the time I do let my depression get to me and I push everything down and then those times suddenly I’m feeling everything that I’ve tucked away.
BEST MUSIV VIDEO EVER. Also best song ever. Thank you so much for making this...it’s jus. It’s so wonderful and pretty. Thank you for making it. Thank you for writing the song. It’s my next favorite song that I will listen on repeat
So much meaning in one video. I love this so much! Good job McKenzie💙
Most... Underrated...Artist....Ever.
The video for this fit this song perfectly. It really fits the mentality of everything hitting at once and the two sides of it. There was no glamorizing it, it was just so simplistic and well done. I love it.
this is my favorite on the album
Love it! Really spoke to me. Thank you
Ready for this I listened to vices on repeat for days after it came out. Most likely going to do that again
I love this song so much. It’s probably my favorite of yours. I had a good week but the two weeks prior were SO rough. I just rewatched this video and can’t help but cry 😣
one of my favorite songs for sure
youtube just recommended this to me and I have to say, it rarely happens that it recommends something so good to me, I can relate so much to this and it actually brings me to tears, thanks for this masterpiece
This just hit me so deep. Like I never knew I was the only way to feel like this
So so so amazing omg when you released on tic toc that you were going to make this I was so happy!! And I ligit put you on my notifications. This is such an incredible song❤️🥰 can someone please sign her so we can hear these bangers on the radio at work😂❤️🙏🏼 biggest fan hands DOWN!!
Im loving your music more and more each day 💜 im obsessed at this point!!! Congratz on your success 💜
Im literally the side with the hoodie today and I needed this. This is my depression versus my mania.
Such a queen, honestly love this video
Also, Bless Momica, I appreciate her so much
Wow so glad Vices blew up on Tik Tok to find you cause this and the rest of your work is amazing❣you're gonna do mind-blowing things💕
This and Vices are literally so genius and I can’t wait for the album!
This is so good!! This song just makes me feel so seen.
As always, Thankyou!
You can really see the work y'all put into this. Absolutely incredible.
I keep hitting replay! The relatability and depth behind this video/song. 💙🖤💙🖤 Moth Queen slays again
Hard relate, beautiful, beautiful song
Such a cool concept...💛
This really explained how I’ve been feeling for the past few months and I don’t think I could’ve ever explained it better than this song💙
This means a lot to me, thank you for capturing the essence