People want Jocko to talk about parenting. The reasons Jocko has for not wanting to talk about parenting are all the reasons why he he’s a great parent.
Ecactly. The worst thing you can do generally is assume you're a good parent. I'll go even further and say that even if your kids become successful it might not be because of your parenting. They might get successful despite your influence.
I loved Jocko's point at around the 9:35 mark, the bit about not trying to force your kids into being what you want them to be. I truly think that's why a lot of the more artistic, creative forces in our world never live out their potential. A lot of strict, controlling and not-so creative types of parents honestly do not know how to nurture these little forces of nature. They either drug them for ADHD, or refuse to indulge any possible natural talents or skills that are finely calibrated within their personality. So they end up screwing up school, never having latent talents and skills pulled out and invested in because they just seemed to 'weird' and 'not commercially viable to pursue'. So they end up as underachieving "losers", living criminally ordinary lives, never having the confidence in themselves (understandably) and they often exhibit obvious behavioural issues well into adulthood and may have other mental/emotional problems. It is desperately sad to acknowledge when this has happened to a person, but you often have to examine them closely to see that something beautiful was neglected due to parents not being equipped or even interested in dealing with a highly unusual, artistic, creative, challenging personality & mind. They just try to mould this kid into something else, blind to natural talents and skills that don't fit into the 'career path' options they imagine for them. How to be consistent but also recognise when your child is truly capable of being exceptional, an entrepreneur or an out-of-the-box thinker/creator and 'indulgence' and freedom to explore are critical for this little human to fully realise their potential?
I think good parenting comes down to the three things, lead by example, guidance and consistency. Growing up my father never told me how to act, how to carry myself or how to treat other people. I just simply learned from observing him through the years on how to do that. Nothing was really said, it was just learned through observation and by example. Behavior and self conduct starts at home.
The "I don't know if I have been successful or not. . . " statement is the truth. I have 6 children ages 22, 21, 18, 17 15, and 13. My oldest is medically challenged and will live with me for the rest of her life. My 21 year old is a year away from graduating from college and is most likely dating the young lady that he is going to marry, and I look at him, individually, and am proud of him and the decisions he has made to get him to where he is, but truly I still ask myself, could I have done things different, could I have been a better father for him and guided him better. I look and say what do I need to change for the continued raising of his siblings to give them the best chance at a successful life. It is a never ending review of my parenting and what I feel is working and what I feel needs to change. This isn't even mentioning that different children need different forms of raising in different areas. Yah it may be decades before I know if I was successful.
I had my first "Damn it Jocko" moment at 4:45 this morning. As I was going to bed I saw the 2 trash bags in the kitchen, and I asked my oldest son, who is 15 to take the garbage outside before he went to bed. We have a 6 month, almost housebroken, yellow Lab pup and an older well behaved chocolate lab. I woke up to, the older dog barking, AND then I heard the sound of the trash being torn apart. I went downstairs, and turned his my sons light on, and proceeded to wake him up with a frustrated tone, telling him HE didn't take the trash out last night and now HE needed to get out of bed, to take the 2 bags of garbage outside after HE picked it all up, and that I was going back to bed. Halfway up the stairs, I heard Jocko's voice say "WHOS FAULT IS IT?". A verbal "Damn it" sigh came out of my mouth, as I realized it was ultimately my fault, I could have just as easily taken it outside last night as he could have. HERE is when something really cool happened as a Dad. My son gets upstairs half asleep and irritated that I got him up and it's still dark to clean up trash. My wife is getting up, asking if everything is ok, I go to the bedroom and tell her me and him are gonna clean up the trash together and why. He is still thinking I just went back to bed and he was gonna have him do it all by himself. 95% of his negative attitude left when I came back to the kitchen and started helping him, explaining that I was at fault, and why. By the time we were done, we were both smiling, and he truly apologized for not doing it the night before stating he even looked at it and decided he could wait till the morning. He was telling me it was not my fault but his own. I saw him take ownership. I will finish by saying Thank you Jocko.
I agree totally that u don't know if u failed or succeeded in raising a child till u see how they fair as an adult. Your ultimate job as a parent is to prepare them for adulthood as best as u can .
My parents have a difficulty understanding I’m my own person. Thank God I wanted to go to college and desired a career in the STEM field but I’m not exactly who they want me to be. I am an adolescent who has a stupid curious mind with a lot of morals that go against completely what my parents believe in. I am also very ambitious and like pursuing a lot more than my desired career. For a very general understanding I just have a more optimistic view on the world and when I show that part of myself to them they get so frustrated and consider me unfocused, naive, and lazy. ( If I’m doing anything other than what they want me to do it’s laziness ). It’s just a very tough situation and I’m glad jocko understands that he can’t control what his kids want to do.
Plinko is a good analogy Echo. You have a goal as to what you want for them but so many unanticipated factors come into play that also shape them into who they will become. Life is crazy like that. You can’t foresee everything. All you can do is love them, give them your best and pray that is enough.
very new to the podcast, jocko sounds like an absolute inspiration. my nephew suffers from a severe form of autism which has affected his height. I know that he will be absolutely thrilled to listen to someone who not only has the same mental condition as he does, but who manages to stay so positive even through constant harassment for being a little person. jocko is a great dude, he should mabe consider having brad williams on and they could talk about the struggles that they go through
In my opinion all you can do for your children is set an example and by doing so impart values. If you value health and fitness, honesty, freedom, and self education your kids will most likely pick that up
I am seriously surprised Jocko didn't say anything about building your relationship with your kids then use the relationship to influence them to the right place.
He’s probably giving generalised advice that he knows he can talk about confidentially, he’s not a family consultant, he’s a leader, that what he knows best
I tell my 16 year old twin boys. I’m not your friend, I’m your dad and my job as a parent is to teach you how to be successful. And by successful I mean a good human being who contributes to society in a positive way. That is successful in my book.
As someone that doesnt have kids I still get what he is saying being in a leadership role. If you are in a management role and are responsible for ensuring your employees are getting home safe every day you are basically a parent. You cant always be there to babysit them so you need to use every tool available to ensure you've set them up for success.
9.50 into the video. Agree totally . Dont try to imprint yourself or expectations onto kids. There will be a meltdown at some point . You may well end up driving them away . They are them ; not you .. Give the guidance and explain the why so they can appreciate the lesson. well said there
The basic reason for not speaking about parenting is first the overall complexity of the parenting process - so many variables apply, including, for example, time [age] and perceptions [workable understandings]. Secondly, and even more importantly, we all should ask ourselves, as I have as a parent, what are the specific criteria for a 'successful' child-raising adventure? Without measurable objective criteria, how does one arrive at an effective "accomplishment" conclusion? I'll bet, from my experience listening to Jocko, that many ask him because they respect his overview of structure and ownership/responsibility - part of a successful outcome. From my own point of reference, I do think that excellent parenting criteria do exist but training opportunities remain dramatically overlooked and underdeveloped both for parents and the school system. Parenting, quite obviously, is a process of training kids for life - and as Jocko points out 'success' is, because the criteria are so vague, quite debatable. Here's a political bomb: I think the training objectives are not station [rank], or dollars, but the most relevant objectives embrace the foundations of self-esteem and successful coping strategies, period. Hit those marks well and the vagaries of life will provide further training opportunities. An objective concept to apply for 'success' is 'effective self-management.' Jocko teaches self-management and does a great job nailing fundamentals up there on his strategy board, but training for kids does require a different structure starting earlier, even in pre-school, for effective self-regulatory, self-management, and responsibility skills. Political? Because parents want to keep that process tuned to their own value systems, not to someone else's. That training must be tailored to the age of the child, the developmental challenges of that age range, to prepare them for leaving home, right from the start. Here is a video playlist for parents that will help answer some of these questions, and yes, Jocko, my distant colleague, you're definitely there on the list! corepsych.com/path This video collection of noteworthy wisdom seekers will help with a few more answers.
Hey can anyone tell me where I can find/download “The Thread” podcast series? I cannot find them anywhere?! I watched the first few episodes it’s the greatest podcast ever what happened to it?
Well said @jockwillink! I am a fan of Aletha Solter’s aware parenting. It is about looking at yourself first, so it is just like extreme ownership, she helped me save my child’s life (literally when I called her). I do not like consistency though @echocharles. Children are humans and life is inconsistent and anyone can influence it. Without rewards or punishments there is no point in doing something in secret! I can simply do and be me. Simple.
Wow. I had a moment today just like Jocko brought up. My 4 year.old daughter repeated me today and said I want to be like daddy. Must immediate response was, you don't need to bee like daddy. You can be who you are and have your own ideas. As a parent I preach basic values that must be adhered to. Everything else is for them to explore on their own. One simple rule that must never be broken, is don't lie to your parents.
There are things parents should not do, and EVERY PARENT (even Jocko) will make mistakes. There are good ideas for what parents should do. However, there is no set formula for how to raise a kid to be happy and successful, and you won’t know until you see the end result. Kudos for Jocko not caving in to giving some “formula” on how to raise kids. 👏👏👏
the grainy finish is cool, haha. Ok could you answer this at some point (in the near future, asap): can Origin create medical devices, other than masks? masks are great, but its not enough. kinda need to make other stuff now. bc ''viruses are the enemy'', and also bc im SO damn tired of thinking of cool things and being unable to actually MAKE them. everyone else seems a little too distracted right now, but would really like an answer.
Which podcast are these clips from I watch the main one but I seem to be missing these clips. Are they only on CZcams? (Edit) Are all of the CZcams clips just from old podcasts? I just saw that this one is an excerpt from episode 20.
Like you said, for you. The SAS has not seen anywhere near as much action as American Special Ops. We've been at war in the Middle East for about 20 years now. The SAS is severely outclassed now
Coming to stuff like this now is crazy to me when my parents had been divorced for several years and only came together to tell me I could trust them if I needed a ride home when drunk or high at 16. Even then I am describing it poorly, they independently decided that I was too sober for a 16 year old and offered to be a no questions ride to safety when out, completely independently from each other with a couple of months. Too be fair, at 16 my mom had been stealing cars and my dad had been making bombs, so doing meth would have been an improvement over their behavior. The fact that I was playing fighting games at the neighbors is just advertisement for a video game console at that point
That being said, my dad was good about getting me to think about how my actions affected others, and my mom was consistent on how controlling my emotions dictated my actions. So the message is that by controlling your emotions and recognizing what you're doing to other people, you'll beat ass in Soul Caliber. And if they are beatin ass they don't need anything else
I noticed that this was an excerpt from JOCKOPODCAST 20, which is about 4 years ago, so both Jocko’s and Echo’s kids are older (Jocko’s daughter should be in her 20’s now and is in College), I wonder how they are feeling about their parenting styles now...
There is a myth that many parents are clinging to that says "get the grades and get the job" and they'll be ok. The kids are checking all the boxes but beneath it they don't know who they are and only being adult will figure that out. I've seen kids hitting all the marks and one day the parents find out he's sending nude pics of himself to various girls. Character is being neglected. The parents want to be able to say, "He got these grades and he is going to this school to get this job." They cling to that like it's the end all. Meanwhile, much is being ignored.
Something that happens in farm communities, that anyone could do, is having your older teenager work for another farm. When your kid gets a bad attitude towards you and they start acting out, won't listen, etc., then you just send them to work on another farm (or a friend's business). They usually end up looking up to and learning from the other adults. Adults that you chose, Haha. It takes a village.
Kids are smarter than we think. If you treat them unfairly and you're inconsistent - they won't respect you. If you treat them like idiots and do everything for them - they won't grow up to be responsible. But if you give them responsibilities and treat them like adults, you're going to empower them.
My daughter is head strong resilient Tough and more principle as a 5 year old child than I am. I quickly figured out that all I have to do is try and impart all the life skills that I possibly can to her and stop her from driving off the cliff. She will figure out where she wants to go and how she wants to get there. It's so not up to me.
Well i would hv the kids to hv the good values.... but how they turn up... it is really not under my control. I can only do my best to teach and guide... even tho i feel im lacking in alot of ways. I gotta let go at certain point (or age) 😊 and let them make their own life.
Hi Jocko. Love your content. Can you talk about how to deal with someone extremely toxic and you have to work in team with him and he is the type of guy who constantly say « no you are wrong, you didnt do this » even when you are fucking right... I dont make fun of him when he is wrong and when he makes mistakes but he does make fun of me when Im wrong lmao, its not even funny, he is too arrogant and I hate people not humble like as you do. Being calm always is not easy man and he is always like that, like an asshole. One day, I had a very bad day, surgery operation, I was not feeling like I had to work but I did because I am fucking guy who grind every fucking day no matter the circumstances, but this evening, after my surgery when I was feeling bad, the guy wanted me to work on HIS work and I dont know shit what he was doing these last few days, I was doing my own work for the project, when I asked him can you explain why you did this and that and are you sure your model is correct (I was not ultra focused as usually I do, it was my first time). He doesnt explain as humble respectful person but as a dog with no respect and no patience and no humility whereas me I am always kind to him when I explain him something and I dont insult him when explaining, or tell cussings or something. I am very humble but he doesnt give a fuck and he acts like an asshole and is extremely toxic, he is like that every fucking day, but I, Im not this type of guy, I always try to be calm and kind and humble even after he was treating me like dog. Working with this kind of person 2 weeks more is a constant pain for your brain and your mind is constantly fucking poisoned. How do you deal mister Jocko?
The specific part of the conversation around the 5:09 mark only applies to rich kids. Kids that are brought up to be 'hippy-dippy-arty-travel-the-world-be-a-free-spirit' types, always told that 'your-feeling-and-YOUR-emotional-experience-trumps-all-express-yourself-get-neck-tattoos-at-16-WEEEEEE!', well they tend to have a financial safety net. You see this with kids who have successful artists, musicians or entertainers of some kind for parents. They are cringe inducing and painfully bereft of irony and understanding of true privilege whilst they go ungratefully stomping around foghorning about every SJW issue, self-righteously telling us adults what's-what. Hideous-- they're kids for god's sake. Not asking questions, but instead screaming about every possible injustice they perceive. And the sad thing is, the adults actually cower to these indulged, manipulative bullies. This is the third option for how such parenting could turn out.
Jocko I actually have to disagree with you for once... I think giving advice on parenting could help a lot of people, myself included. Even if your advice isn’t perfect I can imagine it is way better than 90%+ of what’s out there, or what people are doing now. I’ve only been a parent for 4 years, and my oldest kid is actually adopted, so she’s almost 10. It’s hard having a 10 year old while being 28 and only having 4 years of parenting experience. I need advice on how to be better. I do actively search out ways to be better from other men/parents, but I think just like the principles of being a great leader on the battlefield applies to being a great leader in business, it also applies to being a great leader at home. And you know leadership. I think saying that you’re unqualified to give parenting advice is selling yourself way short. But, then again I don’t know how your home life is like and you are quite a bit wiser than I am, so maybe I’m wrong. But I really hope you reconsider because I think a LOT of what you teach could carry over into being a leader at home, whether that’s a better parent or spouse.
Hmm.When you see someone commit a crime you dont laugh about it. I knew one guy who had a friend who was a date raper and he knew about it and would just laugh. It was their inside "joke." He was a military dude with power issues and didn't practice what he preached. Guess rapes aren't considered crimes in their eyes.
Speaking of why education matters, for kids as well as adults: Can someone tell me why trying to create government policy on non-facts is a bad idea? :) I read through the whole Green/climate deal thing, and while I think we can all agree that pollution problems are very much real....we do not seem to understand or all agree, and the concept of ''zero emmisions'' --- there is no such thing. It doesn not exist at all, in nature. This thing ppl do where they try to shape reality to meet their ''vision'' is not a good thing. And that's not a matter of opinion. Thats one of those pesky facts. The vast majorty of reactions in the atmosphere and in nature (of which we are a part) are equilibrium based. Homeostasis = good for our health and that of the planet. So in policy terms: can I introduce policy which better controls the waste products of energy production, manufacturing etc.....YES! I can control for CO2 gases, spills, heavy metals, carcinogens, etc. I can make sure they don;t end up contamination the environment. I can BALANCE those things out. Is there such a thing as trully ''clean'' fuel which does not product biproducts? NO! It does not exist. Why? Bc reactions in our environment are balance based reactions designed to maintain equilibrium. Can I potentially create an environment which will lead to balanced energy production? yes! Can I somehow declare things that don't exist and manifest them into reality?.....no. Definitely not. So the problems are real, but education is very important in order to figure out the best way to SOLVE them. Instead of spending the next decade just watching the biggest population crash....one way or another reality tends to win out over ''visions''. There is a rate of production and a rate of consumption. You can't just redefine terms and everything goes away, and your ''vision'' magically happens. And yes this is likely something you'll need to discuss with some teenagers at some point. The focus should be on identifying the most concentrated energy sources and the most balanced way to use them. You can use solar on your house for instance....but you can't use it to run a city. You can make better batteries.....which might help with your off grid cabins energy demands, but not to fly a plane. You can't supplement that with wood, bc it takes trees a VERY long with the grow. You can switch to nuclear. But you'll still need to deal with the biproducts bc it does produce radio active waste which takes a very long time to degrade. Fossil fuels are not inherantly evil, any more so than anything else. You just need to deal with the biproducts more efficiently. A LOT more efficiently. But above all else: please just teach your kids that information is their friend and they need ALL the facts, not just the ones they like. What anyone ''likes'' is secondary to reality. I might not LIKE to meet a lion in the jungle but that does not mean he doesn't exist. Bc one day they get a chance to write the rules, and that might seem super cool, but its actually a really tough job and if they get it wrong, there might not be a 2nd chance to get it right. And to not be afraid of math, or any subject bc that's just sad. Its just some books. Its definitely not the scariest thing out there. This stuff won't wait. I can't even fully express how disappointing it is that ppl cannot be bothered to actually look into facts and that its been years and we're still either in complete denial ...or in complete lala-land. There are consequences for mistakes, and for refusing to accept reality. In nature , completely free of reason or policy or advanced thinking -- a population grows in accordance with its resources and when it runs out of resources, it collapses. The end. There is no great tragedy, no one writes songs about it and the deer don't spend their days worrying about running out of grass. They just do. Eventually. We're more advanced than deer. But we still need resources to live. We still need homeostasis. Anyone with any understanding of sciences would be able to tell you that. A.B.C factors are pollutants, we need to control for them -- that's it. This has to be mandatory, bc we can't ''optionally'' poison ourselves. The temperature rise is a problem, yes --- remove the pollutants and the equilibrium swings in the other direction. Its not that complicated. The ice returns. Things go back to normal. Remove the heavy metals. Add sensors to water treatment to monitor for carcinogens. Take samples. It takes so little time to research this stuff. Its strange that people would rather debate fantasies....yet, they do. We figured out crop rotation....why can't be figure out ''energy balance''? Nature -- just is. There is nothing to argue with -- it just is. The main purpose of debate is to help clarify the best solutions to problems, not to make up fantasies of what you'd like the world to be like. Life just doesn't work that way. That's not a bad thing. Having a grounded approach to life is actually kind of necesary.
the planet has been through several massive climate change eras....several mass extinctions....either we figure out how to navigate these particular stormy waters....or we will eventually follow the dinosaurs. That too is just a fact of living. Eventually we die. Its not a reason to completely lose our minds, but still, it would be a lot more fun if we figured out how to ride the waves, right? :) We really need to get off the pity train and onto the reasonable action train. Just saying. Just my opinion (apart from the ''facts'' part - those are not opinions).
I have to disagree with jako that all his kids are raised my the same me. You are 25 with 1 kid is different than me at 32 with 3 kids ect. Kids are raised by different yous at different stages in life.
I don’t mean to be that guy but Jocko hasn’t spoken on police brutality, accountability, police reform. Had to unfollow him off Instagram because he just kept life going without talking about the elephant in the room, not looking for some fake sympathetic bullshit but something REAL something a LEADER would say... it’s his whole brand . What does he really think about what’s going on?
Haha but you are that guy tho. He just said at the beginning of this video that he doesn't like talking about things he isn't familiar with, maybe you should take that as your answer.
Catherine Kern he gave sum vague story of an incident in 1914... while the sentiment was nice, it had very little to do with what’s going on NOW, sure the message was stop seeing protesters as evil and stop seeing cops as evil we’re all people but what’s the solution? What happens moving forward to prevent it? That’s what I was getting at
People want Jocko to talk about parenting. The reasons Jocko has for not wanting to talk about parenting are all the reasons why he he’s a great parent.
Ecactly. The worst thing you can do generally is assume you're a good parent. I'll go even further and say that even if your kids become successful it might not be because of your parenting. They might get successful despite your influence.
Keep your daughters off the stripper pole, your sons out of prison then you can crack open a beer and call it a day.
Ha! I was thinking exactly the same thing
Humility > Pride. That's why this man is a great leader.
Jocko’s been in every Star Wars movie. He was the force.
....what if we made a ''force'' lightsaber for real.....O_O.
“Your kids will be who they are , not who you want them to be” Excellent Advice
EC was on point -- consistency is key.
I loved Jocko's point at around the 9:35 mark, the bit about not trying to force your kids into being what you want them to be. I truly think that's why a lot of the more artistic, creative forces in our world never live out their potential. A lot of strict, controlling and not-so creative types of parents honestly do not know how to nurture these little forces of nature. They either drug them for ADHD, or refuse to indulge any possible natural talents or skills that are finely calibrated within their personality. So they end up screwing up school, never having latent talents and skills pulled out and invested in because they just seemed to 'weird' and 'not commercially viable to pursue'. So they end up as underachieving "losers", living criminally ordinary lives, never having the confidence in themselves (understandably) and they often exhibit obvious behavioural issues well into adulthood and may have other mental/emotional problems. It is desperately sad to acknowledge when this has happened to a person, but you often have to examine them closely to see that something beautiful was neglected due to parents not being equipped or even interested in dealing with a highly unusual, artistic, creative, challenging personality & mind. They just try to mould this kid into something else, blind to natural talents and skills that don't fit into the 'career path' options they imagine for them. How to be consistent but also recognise when your child is truly capable of being exceptional, an entrepreneur or an out-of-the-box thinker/creator and 'indulgence' and freedom to explore are critical for this little human to fully realise their potential?
I think good parenting comes down to the three things, lead by example, guidance and consistency. Growing up my father never told me how to act, how to carry myself or how to treat other people. I just simply learned from observing him through the years on how to do that. Nothing was really said, it was just learned through observation and by example. Behavior and self conduct starts at home.
Right on the money, Echo, consistency is everything and kids WILL seek it out.
“Control leads to compliance; autonomy leads to engagement.”
― Daniel H. Pink
I would plead for guided and informed autonomy
Pink is a conman.
Plinko / parenting 😂 that was a perfect metaphor
"Listen to the desires of your children. Encourage them and then give them the autonomy to make their own decision."
--Denis Waitley
Denis Waitley must not have kids
The "I don't know if I have been successful or not. . . " statement is the truth. I have 6 children ages 22, 21, 18, 17 15, and 13. My oldest is medically challenged and will live with me for the rest of her life. My 21 year old is a year away from graduating from college and is most likely dating the young lady that he is going to marry, and I look at him, individually, and am proud of him and the decisions he has made to get him to where he is, but truly I still ask myself, could I have done things different, could I have been a better father for him and guided him better. I look and say what do I need to change for the continued raising of his siblings to give them the best chance at a successful life. It is a never ending review of my parenting and what I feel is working and what I feel needs to change. This isn't even mentioning that different children need different forms of raising in different areas. Yah it may be decades before I know if I was successful.
As a parent of now three adults - you are exactly right about how kids are different than yourself
That being said is one of my favorite Jocko sayings ever
This is the first time I've seen Echo Charles. Nice to put a face with the voice.
Most people comment on how YOKED or JACKED he is. So it is also nice to see a comment that does play to that.
Watch some of their old podcasts when they weren't in the dark
he;s in everything, how did you miss him before?
@@2011GETUP Im sad he removed the muscle tatoos or muscles on his muscles....that was going to be comedy gold for a while for me
I had my first "Damn it Jocko" moment at 4:45 this morning.
As I was going to bed I saw the 2 trash bags in the kitchen, and I asked my oldest son, who is 15 to take the garbage outside before he went to bed. We have a 6 month, almost housebroken, yellow Lab pup and an older well behaved chocolate lab. I woke up to, the older dog barking, AND then I heard the sound of the trash being torn apart. I went downstairs, and turned his my sons light on, and proceeded to wake him up with a frustrated tone, telling him HE didn't take the trash out last night and now HE needed to get out of bed, to take the 2 bags of garbage outside after HE picked it all up, and that I was going back to bed. Halfway up the stairs, I heard Jocko's voice say "WHOS FAULT IS IT?". A verbal "Damn it" sigh came out of my mouth, as I realized it was ultimately my fault, I could have just as easily taken it outside last night as he could have.
HERE is when something really cool happened as a Dad. My son gets upstairs half asleep and irritated that I got him up and it's still dark to clean up trash. My wife is getting up, asking if everything is ok, I go to the bedroom and tell her me and him are gonna clean up the trash together and why. He is still thinking I just went back to bed and he was gonna have him do it all by himself. 95% of his negative attitude left when I came back to the kitchen and started helping him, explaining that I was at fault, and why. By the time we were done, we were both smiling, and he truly apologized for not doing it the night before stating he even looked at it and decided he could wait till the morning.
He was telling me it was not my fault but his own. I saw him take ownership.
I will finish by saying Thank you Jocko.
I agree totally that u don't know if u failed or succeeded in raising a child till u see how they fair as an adult. Your ultimate job as a parent is to prepare them for adulthood as best as u can .
Mr. Charles knows his shit. Cheers to the father's out there that raise their kids and not just love them.
My parents have a difficulty understanding I’m my own person. Thank God I wanted to go to college and desired a career in the STEM field but I’m not exactly who they want me to be. I am an adolescent who has a stupid curious mind with a lot of morals that go against completely what my parents believe in. I am also very ambitious and like pursuing a lot more than my desired career. For a very general understanding I just have a more optimistic view on the world and when I show that part of myself to them they get so frustrated and consider me unfocused, naive, and lazy. ( If I’m doing anything other than what they want me to do it’s laziness ). It’s just a very tough situation and I’m glad jocko understands that he can’t control what his kids want to do.
He's absolutely right. I'm going through, what lack of consistency brings 1st hand. And it's not just with my nephew, it's with my whole family.
Echo trying to explain Plinko to Jocko is spectacular
Jocko I admire your humility in this matter.
Brilliant....as farther I understand and I now know that doing what I've been doing for 5 years feels right. Great pod cast fellas
Consistency is KEY !!!!!!!!!
Plinko is a good analogy Echo. You have a goal as to what you want for them but so many unanticipated factors come into play that also shape them into who they will become. Life is crazy like that. You can’t foresee everything. All you can do is love them, give them your best and pray that is enough.
very new to the podcast, jocko sounds like an absolute inspiration. my nephew suffers from a severe form of autism which has affected his height. I know that he will be absolutely thrilled to listen to someone who not only has the same mental condition as he does, but who manages to stay so positive even through constant harassment for being a little person. jocko is a great dude, he should mabe consider having brad williams on and they could talk about the struggles that they go through
So true echo. Consistency is the key. And let them be kids and find their own way.
The plinko was a brilliant analogy. Also consistency is always key, not for just reprimanding but also your actions
In my opinion all you can do for your children is set an example and by doing so impart values. If you value health and fitness, honesty, freedom, and self education your kids will most likely pick that up
I feel what you are saying Echo. I think consistency = respect.
Echo gets some words in... wonderful.
Love the humility.
I was not ready for the Plinko analogy. lol. And then..."Is this a long explanation?" Both are very funny.
I am seriously surprised Jocko didn't say anything about building your relationship with your kids then use the relationship to influence them to the right place.
If you mean be friends with your kids, idk that he would say that. But he doesn’t feel prepared to talk about it, I’m sure he has a lot more to say.
He’s probably giving generalised advice that he knows he can talk about confidentially, he’s not a family consultant, he’s a leader, that what he knows best
Probably because he doesn't know, or is unsure of, how go about that.
Thanks Jocko. Good job!
Always on point brothers
The true measure of success of a parent is whether the child loves the parent(s).
Great advice EC!
Well said Echo
Love from India sir....
You are my inspiration sir.
Well go out and sniff out them scammer call centres and do the world some justice
I tell my 16 year old twin boys. I’m not your friend, I’m your dad and my job as a parent is to teach you how to be successful. And by successful I mean a good human being who contributes to society in a positive way. That is successful in my book.
As someone that doesnt have kids I still get what he is saying being in a leadership role. If you are in a management role and are responsible for ensuring your employees are getting home safe every day you are basically a parent. You cant always be there to babysit them so you need to use every tool available to ensure you've set them up for success.
Thank you🇺🇲
9.50 into the video. Agree totally . Dont try to imprint yourself or expectations onto kids. There will be a meltdown at some point . You may well end up driving them away . They are them ; not you .. Give the guidance and explain the why so they can appreciate the lesson. well said there
Aw. Good old times. Civilian life is rougher than war.
The basic reason for not speaking about parenting is first the overall complexity of the parenting process - so many variables apply, including, for example, time [age] and perceptions [workable understandings]. Secondly, and even more importantly, we all should ask ourselves, as I have as a parent, what are the specific criteria for a 'successful' child-raising adventure? Without measurable objective criteria, how does one arrive at an effective "accomplishment" conclusion? I'll bet, from my experience listening to Jocko, that many ask him because they respect his overview of structure and ownership/responsibility - part of a successful outcome. From my own point of reference, I do think that excellent parenting criteria do exist but training opportunities remain dramatically overlooked and underdeveloped both for parents and the school system. Parenting, quite obviously, is a process of training kids for life - and as Jocko points out 'success' is, because the criteria are so vague, quite debatable. Here's a political bomb: I think the training objectives are not station [rank], or dollars, but the most relevant objectives embrace the foundations of self-esteem and successful coping strategies, period. Hit those marks well and the vagaries of life will provide further training opportunities. An objective concept to apply for 'success' is 'effective self-management.' Jocko teaches self-management and does a great job nailing fundamentals up there on his strategy board, but training for kids does require a different structure starting earlier, even in pre-school, for effective self-regulatory, self-management, and responsibility skills. Political? Because parents want to keep that process tuned to their own value systems, not to someone else's. That training must be tailored to the age of the child, the developmental challenges of that age range, to prepare them for leaving home, right from the start. Here is a video playlist for parents that will help answer some of these questions, and yes, Jocko, my distant colleague, you're definitely there on the list! corepsych.com/path This video collection of noteworthy wisdom seekers will help with a few more answers.
9:06 so on point
Hey can anyone tell me where I can find/download “The Thread” podcast series? I cannot find them anywhere?! I watched the first few episodes it’s the greatest podcast ever what happened to it?
Good job echo.
Well said @jockwillink! I am a fan of Aletha Solter’s aware parenting. It is about looking at yourself first, so it is just like extreme ownership, she helped me save my child’s life (literally when I called her).
I do not like consistency though @echocharles. Children are humans and life is inconsistent and anyone can influence it. Without rewards or punishments there is no point in doing something in secret! I can simply do and be me. Simple.
“Plinko Parenting” - unexpected, great analogy
Wow. I had a moment today just like Jocko brought up. My 4 year.old daughter repeated me today and said I want to be like daddy. Must immediate response was, you don't need to bee like daddy. You can be who you are and have your own ideas. As a parent I preach basic values that must be adhered to. Everything else is for them to explore on their own. One simple rule that must never be broken, is don't lie to your parents.
Yes
Epic answer
There are things parents should not do, and EVERY PARENT (even Jocko) will make mistakes. There are good ideas for what parents should do. However, there is no set formula for how to raise a kid to be happy and successful, and you won’t know until you see the end result. Kudos for Jocko not caving in to giving some “formula” on how to raise kids. 👏👏👏
Jocko’s daughter sounds more manly than most men I know
JOCKO 2016 (bumpersticker) Let's Get America back On The Path!
Catherine Kern 2024 since it’s a bit late?
That's awesome, I've been using that Plinko example for years. Now I know I'm insane LOL. But, it's still a good analogy
I love echo
I need it in the BANC
the grainy finish is cool, haha.
Ok could you answer this at some point (in the near future, asap): can Origin create medical devices, other than masks? masks are great, but its not enough. kinda need to make other stuff now. bc ''viruses are the enemy'', and also bc im SO damn tired of thinking of cool things and being unable to actually MAKE them. everyone else seems a little too distracted right now, but would really like an answer.
Can i use this speech on my video sir ?
Which podcast are these clips from I watch the main one but I seem to be missing these clips. Are they only on CZcams? (Edit) Are all of the CZcams clips just from old podcasts? I just saw that this one is an excerpt from episode 20.
Can you do a podcast on your thoughts on the British SAS and SBS?
For me, they are the special forces that all other special forces are judged by
Like you said, for you. The SAS has not seen anywhere near as much action as American Special Ops. We've been at war in the Middle East for about 20 years now. The SAS is severely outclassed now
Plinko Price is Right Analogy is dope AF. However Jocko was underwhelmed.
Coming to stuff like this now is crazy to me when my parents had been divorced for several years and only came together to tell me I could trust them if I needed a ride home when drunk or high at 16. Even then I am describing it poorly, they independently decided that I was too sober for a 16 year old and offered to be a no questions ride to safety when out, completely independently from each other with a couple of months. Too be fair, at 16 my mom had been stealing cars and my dad had been making bombs, so doing meth would have been an improvement over their behavior. The fact that I was playing fighting games at the neighbors is just advertisement for a video game console at that point
That being said, my dad was good about getting me to think about how my actions affected others, and my mom was consistent on how controlling my emotions dictated my actions. So the message is that by controlling your emotions and recognizing what you're doing to other people, you'll beat ass in Soul Caliber. And if they are beatin ass they don't need anything else
Planko analogy was pretty solid I thought
I noticed that this was an excerpt from JOCKOPODCAST 20, which is about 4 years ago, so both Jocko’s and Echo’s kids are older (Jocko’s daughter should be in her 20’s now and is in College), I wonder how they are feeling about their parenting styles now...
Lol'd at the title.
There is a myth that many parents are clinging to that says "get the grades and get the job" and they'll be ok. The kids are checking all the boxes but beneath it they don't know who they are and only being adult will figure that out. I've seen kids hitting all the marks and one day the parents find out he's sending nude pics of himself to various girls. Character is being neglected. The parents want to be able to say, "He got these grades and he is going to this school to get this job." They cling to that like it's the end all. Meanwhile, much is being ignored.
If your kids want you to take care of their kids... You will know that you were a good parent.
Something that happens in farm communities, that anyone could do, is having your older teenager work for another farm. When your kid gets a bad attitude towards you and they start acting out, won't listen, etc., then you just send them to work on another farm (or a friend's business). They usually end up looking up to and learning from the other adults. Adults that you chose, Haha. It takes a village.
👍🏻👍🏻
genius title
The Dichotomy of Parenting.
Yall got any good home workouts for a 16 y/o like myself?
search "full body bodyweight workout"
You don't raise kids, you raise adults.
Yep...plinko.
Kids are smarter than we think.
If you treat them unfairly and you're inconsistent - they won't respect you. If you treat them like idiots and do everything for them - they won't grow up to be responsible.
But if you give them responsibilities and treat them like adults, you're going to empower them.
Same goes for subordinates
My daughter is head strong resilient Tough and more principle as a 5 year old child than I am. I quickly figured out that all I have to do is try and impart all the life skills that I possibly can to her and stop her from driving off the cliff. She will figure out where she wants to go and how she wants to get there. It's so not up to me.
Wow... great point. Who would want to listen to yourself at 16
Parenting = Plink-O :😃
Life is Plinko.
Well i would hv the kids to hv the good values.... but how they turn up... it is really not under my control. I can only do my best to teach and guide... even tho i feel im lacking in alot of ways. I gotta let go at certain point (or age) 😊 and let them make their own life.
Jocko is about as willing to talk about parenting as he is to talk about BUDS...
Hi Jocko. Love your content. Can you talk about how to deal with someone extremely toxic and you have to work in team with him and he is the type of guy who constantly say « no you are wrong, you didnt do this » even when you are fucking right... I dont make fun of him when he is wrong and when he makes mistakes but he does make fun of me when Im wrong lmao, its not even funny, he is too arrogant and I hate people not humble like as you do. Being calm always is not easy man and he is always like that, like an asshole. One day, I had a very bad day, surgery operation, I was not feeling like I had to work but I did because I am fucking guy who grind every fucking day no matter the circumstances, but this evening, after my surgery when I was feeling bad, the guy wanted me to work on HIS work and I dont know shit what he was doing these last few days, I was doing my own work for the project, when I asked him can you explain why you did this and that and are you sure your model is correct (I was not ultra focused as usually I do, it was my first time). He doesnt explain as humble respectful person but as a dog with no respect and no patience and no humility whereas me I am always kind to him when I explain him something and I dont insult him when explaining, or tell cussings or something. I am very humble but he doesnt give a fuck and he acts like an asshole and is extremely toxic, he is like that every fucking day, but I, Im not this type of guy, I always try to be calm and kind and humble even after he was treating me like dog. Working with this kind of person 2 weeks more is a constant pain for your brain and your mind is constantly fucking poisoned. How do you deal mister Jocko?
Lmao is there any problem Jocko can't dissect and fix?
Jocko 2024
was this recorded with a pencil
I get his hesitation... parenting is very subjective and it would be too easy to say the wrong thing (at least in some sensitive souls eyes)
His daughters boyfriends must be badass to be approved of by Jocko
I’d love to hear his thoughts on Seattle and what he thinks we should do to these traitors
The specific part of the conversation around the 5:09 mark only applies to rich kids. Kids that are brought up to be 'hippy-dippy-arty-travel-the-world-be-a-free-spirit' types, always told that 'your-feeling-and-YOUR-emotional-experience-trumps-all-express-yourself-get-neck-tattoos-at-16-WEEEEEE!', well they tend to have a financial safety net. You see this with kids who have successful artists, musicians or entertainers of some kind for parents. They are cringe inducing and painfully bereft of irony and understanding of true privilege whilst they go ungratefully stomping around foghorning about every SJW issue, self-righteously telling us adults what's-what. Hideous-- they're kids for god's sake. Not asking questions, but instead screaming about every possible injustice they perceive. And the sad thing is, the adults actually cower to these indulged, manipulative bullies. This is the third option for how such parenting could turn out.
Echo has been listening to Joe rogan lol
Jocko I actually have to disagree with you for once...
I think giving advice on parenting could help a lot of people, myself included. Even if your advice isn’t perfect I can imagine it is way better than 90%+ of what’s out there, or what people are doing now.
I’ve only been a parent for 4 years, and my oldest kid is actually adopted, so she’s almost 10. It’s hard having a 10 year old while being 28 and only having 4 years of parenting experience. I need advice on how to be better.
I do actively search out ways to be better from other men/parents, but I think just like the principles of being a great leader on the battlefield applies to being a great leader in business, it also applies to being a great leader at home. And you know leadership.
I think saying that you’re unqualified to give parenting advice is selling yourself way short. But, then again I don’t know how your home life is like and you are quite a bit wiser than I am, so maybe I’m wrong. But I really hope you reconsider because I think a LOT of what you teach could carry over into being a leader at home, whether that’s a better parent or spouse.
Jocko is over four feet tall.
they are successful if they love and fear the lord!
Hmm.When you see someone commit a crime you dont laugh about it. I knew one guy who had a friend who was a date raper and he knew about it and would just laugh. It was their inside "joke." He was a military dude with power issues and didn't practice what he preached. Guess rapes aren't considered crimes in their eyes.
Speaking of why education matters, for kids as well as adults: Can someone tell me why trying to create government policy on non-facts is a bad idea? :)
I read through the whole Green/climate deal thing, and while I think we can all agree that pollution problems are very much real....we do not seem to understand or all agree, and the concept of ''zero emmisions'' --- there is no such thing. It doesn not exist at all, in nature. This thing ppl do where they try to shape reality to meet their ''vision'' is not a good thing. And that's not a matter of opinion. Thats one of those pesky facts. The vast majorty of reactions in the atmosphere and in nature (of which we are a part) are equilibrium based. Homeostasis = good for our health and that of the planet. So in policy terms: can I introduce policy which better controls the waste products of energy production, manufacturing etc.....YES! I can control for CO2 gases, spills, heavy metals, carcinogens, etc. I can make sure they don;t end up contamination the environment. I can BALANCE those things out.
Is there such a thing as trully ''clean'' fuel which does not product biproducts? NO! It does not exist. Why? Bc reactions in our environment are balance based reactions designed to maintain equilibrium. Can I potentially create an environment which will lead to balanced energy production? yes! Can I somehow declare things that don't exist and manifest them into reality?.....no. Definitely not. So the problems are real, but education is very important in order to figure out the best way to SOLVE them. Instead of spending the next decade just watching the biggest population crash....one way or another reality tends to win out over ''visions''. There is a rate of production and a rate of consumption. You can't just redefine terms and everything goes away, and your ''vision'' magically happens. And yes this is likely something you'll need to discuss with some teenagers at some point.
The focus should be on identifying the most concentrated energy sources and the most balanced way to use them. You can use solar on your house for instance....but you can't use it to run a city. You can make better batteries.....which might help with your off grid cabins energy demands, but not to fly a plane. You can't supplement that with wood, bc it takes trees a VERY long with the grow. You can switch to nuclear. But you'll still need to deal with the biproducts bc it does produce radio active waste which takes a very long time to degrade. Fossil fuels are not inherantly evil, any more so than anything else. You just need to deal with the biproducts more efficiently. A LOT more efficiently.
But above all else: please just teach your kids that information is their friend and they need ALL the facts, not just the ones they like. What anyone ''likes'' is secondary to reality. I might not LIKE to meet a lion in the jungle but that does not mean he doesn't exist.
Bc one day they get a chance to write the rules, and that might seem super cool, but its actually a really tough job and if they get it wrong, there might not be a 2nd chance to get it right. And to not be afraid of math, or any subject bc that's just sad. Its just some books. Its definitely not the scariest thing out there.
This stuff won't wait. I can't even fully express how disappointing it is that ppl cannot be bothered to actually look into facts and that its been years and we're still either in complete denial ...or in complete lala-land. There are consequences for mistakes, and for refusing to accept reality. In nature , completely free of reason or policy or advanced thinking -- a population grows in accordance with its resources and when it runs out of resources, it collapses. The end. There is no great tragedy, no one writes songs about it and the deer don't spend their days worrying about running out of grass. They just do. Eventually. We're more advanced than deer. But we still need resources to live. We still need homeostasis.
Anyone with any understanding of sciences would be able to tell you that. A.B.C factors are pollutants, we need to control for them -- that's it. This has to be mandatory, bc we can't ''optionally'' poison ourselves. The temperature rise is a problem, yes --- remove the pollutants and the equilibrium swings in the other direction. Its not that complicated. The ice returns. Things go back to normal. Remove the heavy metals. Add sensors to water treatment to monitor for carcinogens. Take samples. It takes so little time to research this stuff. Its strange that people would rather debate fantasies....yet, they do. We figured out crop rotation....why can't be figure out ''energy balance''? Nature -- just is. There is nothing to argue with -- it just is. The main purpose of debate is to help clarify the best solutions to problems, not to make up fantasies of what you'd like the world to be like. Life just doesn't work that way. That's not a bad thing. Having a grounded approach to life is actually kind of necesary.
the planet has been through several massive climate change eras....several mass extinctions....either we figure out how to navigate these particular stormy waters....or we will eventually follow the dinosaurs. That too is just a fact of living. Eventually we die. Its not a reason to completely lose our minds, but still, it would be a lot more fun if we figured out how to ride the waves, right? :) We really need to get off the pity train and onto the reasonable action train. Just saying. Just my opinion (apart from the ''facts'' part - those are not opinions).
I have to disagree with jako that all his kids are raised my the same me. You are 25 with 1 kid is different than me at 32 with 3 kids ect.
Kids are raised by different yous at different stages in life.
Deploying children into the world. 😂
I don’t mean to be that guy but Jocko hasn’t spoken on police brutality, accountability, police reform. Had to unfollow him off Instagram because he just kept life going without talking about the elephant in the room, not looking for some fake sympathetic bullshit but something REAL something a LEADER would say... it’s his whole brand . What does he really think about what’s going on?
Haha but you are that guy tho. He just said at the beginning of this video that he doesn't like talking about things he isn't familiar with, maybe you should take that as your answer.
He's a Navy Seal, he works for a machine. Military, Police, Gov.. All work together. He can't talk about it because he's part of it.
Catherine Kern he gave sum vague story of an incident in 1914... while the sentiment was nice, it had very little to do with what’s going on NOW, sure the message was stop seeing protesters as evil and stop seeing cops as evil we’re all people but what’s the solution? What happens moving forward to prevent it? That’s what I was getting at
Good call on not bringing your kids on the podcast.