The BEST way to handle an ANGRY person with emotional intelligence

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  • čas přidán 6. 09. 2024

Komentáře • 75

  • @Biglover29
    @Biglover29 Před 2 lety +32

    What if the person doesn't care about your limits and feels their anger is justified? Say you disagree on something that is very important to them, but you just can't see eye to eye on it. I've tried to use agree to disagree, but that doesn't work.

    • @TheDramacist
      @TheDramacist Před 2 lety +2

      This video didnt cover anything useful. Arguments happen due to being on opposing sides. I rarely want to be on their side and vice versa. Most anger you can only diffuse by pretending you agree. Gets you nowhere tho

    • @CalikoTube
      @CalikoTube Před 2 lety +2

      You walk away.

    • @mightyblaze9911
      @mightyblaze9911 Před 2 lety +1

      @@CalikoTube what if it's your boss or family member? It's an insult imo and they will get more aggressive, even I am having issues with this but want a good solution

    • @CalikoTube
      @CalikoTube Před 2 lety

      @@mightyblaze9911
      Can you get a new job if it’s a boss?

    • @mightyblaze9911
      @mightyblaze9911 Před 2 lety

      @@CalikoTube yes of course, but I am talking about the situation where boss insults(at that moment not walk away), I thought u meant the situation, nvm was just misunderstanding

  • @danielagelhornhiremagalur6891

    it happened to me today at a job interview. Apparently the guy got angry about the fact that I rescheduled our interview (letting him know in advance and telling him it was a family issue). He didn`t even look me in the eye while talking and tried to be evassive with sarcasm....I thought it was really childish an lacked empathy. I got super nervous, even my heart started pounding cause I felt his anger but realised that he clearly had issues confronting. I took a deep breath and asked him if he wanted me to come at a better timing for him. He instantly changed from anger to listening. I stayed up, opened my chest and straightened my back. I told him that I was sorry if something upsetted him about me coming ata different timing (although I told him so before) and he told me how he felt about people "playing with his valuable time". I adressed his motive as valid ( no point on explaining that this was agreed) and he calmed down. Of course I realised taht working with a boss like this was NOT a good idea and walked away.

    • @mirahsan2
      @mirahsan2 Před rokem +1

      Don’t forget. Saying no, walking out, and hanging up or ending the video call are always an option. Don’t let anyone ever disrespect you.

  • @LAOWayMusic
    @LAOWayMusic Před 2 lety +9

    I was so nervous talking to a customer on the phone today, they certainly weren't kind about their frustrations, they never are when there's a financial concern... 😭 but listening to your explanation helped a lot, its calming ME down at least haha

  • @ravenshane2753
    @ravenshane2753 Před 2 lety +8

    I actually felt this was important for me to watch. It definitely does depend on the situation, but I think that's what he meant by setting limits on how much bullshit you're willing to take from someone's anger. But if you come at it from a compassionate approach as opposed to feeling attacked and reacting your also taking back control by not losing control.

    • @djicebreaker80
      @djicebreaker80 Před rokem

      I agree, think about being compassionate & I felt attacked but offered my encouragement and support, I have a lot of patience, I give her space and I know I’m helping another female friend funding her also, with building project. and live eating myself

  • @fifthdimension326
    @fifthdimension326 Před 2 lety +6

    Don't confront anger as a threat? My advice, is leave quickly. If we all coddle the angry person, then the angry person will keep being angry for attention. And someone will physically get killed or hurt in the meantime.

  • @mirahsan2
    @mirahsan2 Před rokem +1

    Don’t forget. Saying no, walking out, and hanging up or ending the video call are always an option. Don’t let anyone ever disrespect you.

  • @therustyfisherman7922
    @therustyfisherman7922 Před 2 lety +13

    When is enough, enough? I have a family member with life long issues with anger towards myself while they change their character completely with others. Trying to deal with this family member because no one else can but the consequences is my own health so I take it and take it but it’s harder and harder. The belittling, aggressiveness and major mood swings are beginning to take a toll on me and breaking me down. I’m the one supporting him especially now since he just had a stroke and now it’s increased severely.
    I’m so tired I work 10hrs a day and come home to this. I feel like I’m going to break down and hurt myself in the process. I’ve sought professional help for them and it doesn’t work out because it reverts back to the same old tendencies. I’m so tired I’m just so so tired

    • @JyusiKkuchi
      @JyusiKkuchi Před 2 lety +3

      I’m sorry you are going through this. I am also dealing with a similar issue with my big brother who has the same anger issues and same actions. No matter what, he’s always in a stubborn bitter mood always. It’s very painful to deal with, it is not cute. I really hope things get better in your situation. 💜

    • @Elencho7777
      @Elencho7777 Před 2 lety +1

      I am literally going through the exact same thing. I have a family member who has has a long history of angry for so many reasons which he has every right to be angry, but my issue is that he has something against me. I honestly feel like he has an allergy against me or something. I feel like every time something happenS, he always has his anger and frustration targeted towards me. He is still going through a lot but it comes to a point that you need to address the issue. I can’t keep getting walked all over. I understand he’s angry and I’ve supported him so much and I still do emotionally until this day but he needs to really see that he’s pushing me away. He won’t admit his behavior is irrational . When is enough , enough? How much do I have to walk around eggshells around him just because he has issues running in his personal life. We all have issue and we are all dealing with problems everyday of our lives. As angry and frustrated as I am I will never take my frustration out on him. I’m just mentally tired of always being the nice guy and cutting it short and just taking it

    • @krissy9230
      @krissy9230 Před 2 lety +1

      @rusty.. I understand how you feel. I've had the unfortunate privilege of crossing paths with several difficult personalities and what I've found is sometimes you have to meet people where there at. If your met with an insult then you return the insult. It's very low vibe, however those who communicate as such ( insults, face making, demanding etc..) take better to that comm. Style. Sometimes logic and emo. validation isn't taken heed to and sometimes that's what's needed.

    • @krissy9230
      @krissy9230 Před 2 lety

      Try to have compassion for someone who has to live with such crippling misery. It's a painful place to be so thank God your not there. Hope that helps.

  • @panandscan4941
    @panandscan4941 Před 2 lety +5

    This is bad advice if used generally like he's advising. It's a real stab in the dark whether someone toxic like this is a narcissist/sociopath/borderline, and taking the appeasment approach is validating their toxic/abusive behaviour and basically enables them.

    • @philochristos
      @philochristos Před 2 lety +2

      I think I agree with you. I had the same thought.

    • @rotinhell6669
      @rotinhell6669 Před rokem +1

      He said in the beginning if ur experiencing abuse, seek help. This video is for isolated instances of anger, not continuous harassment.

  • @banzand
    @banzand Před 3 lety +11

    Please dial down the music.

    • @SixSeconds
      @SixSeconds  Před 3 lety

      sorry the music didn't work for you!

  • @rotinhell6669
    @rotinhell6669 Před rokem +1

    Thank you, it helps a lot to separate these as this makes it easier to focus on the heart of the problem.

  • @philochristos
    @philochristos Před 2 lety +4

    I think it depends on the situation. If you're dealing with a narcissist, for example, who gets his feeling of power by expressing over-the-top anger at his underlings (or those he perceives to be his underlings), berating them in the process, then validating his anger is probably the worst thing you can do because it encourages that kind of behavior. It's probably a bad idea to validate expressions of anger in a relationship, too. Of course that depends on how the anger is expressed. You can express sympathy for a person's anger while still holding them to some standards of behavior. You shouldn't justify somebody's behavior if, I in their anger, they are shouting obscenities at you.

    • @dianaverano7878
      @dianaverano7878 Před rokem +1

      Narcissist need anger everyday because it is the air they breathe. They look for anyone to verbally argue anytime of the day or that day is boring.
      This video is applicable to people who got upset for a time.
      Narcissists have that innate feeling that they could be under a threat by anyone anytime.
      They dont fully trust anyone, even friends. No matter how " charming" they are and tell you they trust you.
      I turned away from a lot of former friends. Because I cant get along with them, me being a calm person. I really thought they are angry people.
      When I watched psychologists youtube videos, I was surprised, their traits matched with a narcissist.
      A normal according to a psychologist should have a " agreeable personality" vs narcissist who blame people around them all the time, argue all the time/ disagreeable personality.

  • @laurapa2949
    @laurapa2949 Před 3 lety +14

    Doesn’t work on narcissism. NOTHING does.

    • @hmmmchybazmieniamnazwe9177
      @hmmmchybazmieniamnazwe9177 Před 3 lety +5

      And nothing will. It's even easier to handle a person with ASPD (aka my boyfriend). Narcissistic person will never consider their fault, if you deal with one - leave...

    • @markitaj90
      @markitaj90 Před 2 lety +7

      Yeah you can only deal with a narcissist by NOT dealing with them at all

    • @laurapa2949
      @laurapa2949 Před 2 lety

      @@hmmmchybazmieniamnazwe9177 what is ASPD?

    • @caiospinaramos4143
      @caiospinaramos4143 Před 2 lety

      @@laurapa2949 anti social personality disorder, sociopaths

    • @dianaverano7878
      @dianaverano7878 Před rokem

      Yes. This video is meant for people who got angry for a time
      I agree.
      Narcissists are angry all the time because anger is the air they breathe. They control people close to them, if you have an idea that is not the same? They are like kids that throw tantrums.
      Narcissists pick up a fight or that day is boring. They blame people close to them for little things that dont work in their life.
      Narcissists are empty inside and not happy with their life from the inside. Ever.

  • @JMAssainatorz
    @JMAssainatorz Před 2 lety +1

    I had this one guy today hence why im here. I was constantly trying to prove hey we are on the same team but there was no willingness to even consider that i could be a friend. the best responce here would be to back away and alas i dident. I ended up setting a limit saying im trying my best to listen and i belive we both want the same thing if you however shut me down without ability to show consideration a second time i will not respect it.

  • @professorjay439
    @professorjay439 Před 3 lety +5

    The feeling is a language of the body as thought is the langue of the mind.

  • @JasonMorgan1995
    @JasonMorgan1995 Před 2 lety +8

    The way I deal with stupid angry miserable people is not say anything. And I just laugh at them I been called every name in the book by a lot tougher people. Its honestly comedy to me

  • @user-yd8xt5tz6c
    @user-yd8xt5tz6c Před 3 lety +2

    Very true what you are saying, its lifts a load off just hearing what your saying. Thankyou so much.

  • @djicebreaker80
    @djicebreaker80 Před rokem

    Thanks, I know this person angry as she feels lost and she gets rejected by social media accounts, how ever she wants to cam model again and I’m trying to encourage her and help her the best way she can, nothing is going her way at moment and she has rent to pay and other bills, but she has to learn herself as she wants to be fully independent, I’m just helping her see the reality of the situation

  • @altermeasekendrick4662

    I will attempt to see the matter from the other person's point of view rather than the impact it's having on me. I will then attempt to affirm their feeling and try to be helpful in resolving the matter through support.

  • @70foolio
    @70foolio Před 2 lety +1

    Learning to Reject the thoughts and actions.

  • @andrewc.2952
    @andrewc.2952 Před 2 lety +1

    Lord I knows I need some help. I have someone who is very angry with me who is mad that I haven't been doing something that they never asked me to do. I've been spending the last three days trying to calm them down and to let me fix the issue now that I know. Even worse, its the person in charge of the place I rent. Help! It's like they're not listening to reason and I'm trying to tell them I'm not trying to take advantage. I'm trying to speak to their fears. It's setting my PTSD off really bad.

  • @RRLP007
    @RRLP007 Před rokem

    Sometime I always want to live this people behind and never make contact again with them... I don't know why I can't be angry on them Mena I can't shout on them 🙂

  • @sasquatl
    @sasquatl Před 2 lety

    If someone is in the pain body all the time u just have to ignore them. If u tell them where to go then they won't bother u anymore 🙂

  • @priyadharshni8450
    @priyadharshni8450 Před 3 lety +2

    That was great thank you

  • @johnrainsman6650
    @johnrainsman6650 Před 9 měsíci

    I have a question. Is it fair for me to be angry with my boss for *secretly* having a disrespectful perspective of me? She expressed herself at a hypnotist show. See, the hypnotist asked the participants to explain a complex philosophy they each have, and my boss talked about intelligence and hard work. She said she didn't believe that everyone was smart; that only certain people were while others were unintelligent. She also said that hard work does not always make people smart. She used my name as an example. She said some people were smart and hardworking, and thus were successful, e.g., in school. Some were smart but lazy and thus didn't manage what they _could've._ And finally that some people were hardworking...but not smart. She referenced me. She talked about how I was a slow learner at work, got things mixed up, and couldn't seem to do anything right alone. How she didn't think I could manage one-person shifts without someone to guide me. Especially after the time I set a wedding reception with black linens, not white, the official/usual color (though in my defense, black linens were used for *most other* events, so thus it was a natural psychological error.) She mentioned how I didn't have a driver's license and still lived at home with my boss in my late twenties.
    The hypnotist, who seemed surprised by her comments, said, "So just to clarify, you don't think he has much honor or dignity in him? That he's a dimwit and a joke?" And to my dismay, my boss said, "Yes, exactly." That hurt so much. So...do I have a right to be mad at her? She didn't say this consciously, let alone to my face, but she thinks that way. Even in private, I think that's disrespectful and shameless. Do you, guys?

    • @MH-gf1pu
      @MH-gf1pu Před 3 měsíci

      Confront her 1 on 1 and get the answer you need. analyze what you can do with the result. Its either you stay to tolerate this kind of behavior or leave and find a better opportunity. It's tough when handling your situation because it depends on the result of your confrontation. Remember that your peace matters too. All love comes from this message.

    • @johnrainsman6650
      @johnrainsman6650 Před 3 měsíci

      @@MH-gf1pu Thanks. Still, like I said, it's not like she ever _meant_ for me to find out. Her _secret_ perspective of me was revealed through hypnosis.

    • @johnrainsman6650
      @johnrainsman6650 Před 3 měsíci

      @@MH-gf1pu Also, I typed an error: I meant, "home with my mom", not "boss." Again, psychological error based on what I was subconsciously thinking

  • @-AnonymousUser
    @-AnonymousUser Před 2 lety

    Great to know thanks for the vid. 😊

  • @jjlatinopedia
    @jjlatinopedia Před 3 lety +9

    Being in the military and working with civilians kind of forces me to internalize emotions. A female nurse got loud & rambunctious with me over scheduling. I was embarrassed and really wanted to check her @ss and put her in her place. But instead, said nothing to her. I went home and had running thoughts on how I should've handled the situation differently.. ..or if I handled it right?

    • @paulpatriot1776
      @paulpatriot1776 Před 2 lety +6

      You demonstrated great strength. I was just verbally attacked by a angry coworker this week, he was yelling threatening, and I remained calm, (as long as it does not become a eminent physical threat)
      My response deesculated it and now, next week he will have an interesting meeting with HR.
      The art of fighting without fighting……learn how to master your emotions, ego and you will be a warrior.
      “He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty,
      And he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.” Proverbs 16:32

  • @jessicamathewson6771
    @jessicamathewson6771 Před 2 lety +1

    My husband is always raging with me and find anything as a reason to rage at me from the way the cheese is wrapped to how the washing is hung... it started developing anxiety in me... been through the system no solution ...

    • @the_okoh
      @the_okoh Před 2 lety +3

      When do intend making him your exhusband?

    • @karenvartan3508
      @karenvartan3508 Před rokem +2

      I went through the very same thing with my Ex-husband. He had me crying before my feet touched the floor in the morning. He would be mad if a food was on the wrong shelf in the refrigerator or if the thermostat had been touched or if his dinner was delayed by a meeting. I felt like I was always walking on eggshells in my own home. You can't see it when you're in the middle of it, but a husband who is a bully might have a mental illness or even a type of PTSD. I wish I had involved my mother-in-law; she might have given him a swift kick in the butt. Start recording his rantings in a journal or on your phone. Use your journal or your audio tape to get him to a psychologist or a divorce lawyer or both. And, if you haven't already, figure out how to accumulate a cash safety net.

    • @dianaverano7878
      @dianaverano7878 Před rokem

      That person has a controlling personality and you need a help of a professional psychologist.
      Real love means accepting your wife for the little mistakes.
      Im single and thid kind of comments make me really think, before I get a boyfriend or husband. To look at his character. If he is an angry person, it wont work on me.
      Im a calm person and I want to spend this life happily and calmly.

  • @skullbones7452
    @skullbones7452 Před 2 lety

    Beat the shit out of them! Just kiddin;I came here for answers and got them.Now i need to learn to set boundaries and practice placing myself on the side of the angry person and find solutions together.Like you said."See it as a message, not a thread."

  • @oneatatime4468
    @oneatatime4468 Před 2 lety

    Im angry man. When i become angry i feel like beeline. I don't know why !!!!

  • @TheDramacist
    @TheDramacist Před 2 lety

    No strategy?

  • @TopG20073
    @TopG20073 Před 9 měsíci

    Find the cause of it

  • @harevalkyrie5373
    @harevalkyrie5373 Před 2 lety

    Im kicking a soon to be ex out who i found out has mpd while truck driving with them. hes too agressive and has my dog whom i didnt have deposit for til now.
    Neighbor is 'mowing' with a pistol, grandfathers showing up to 'grab a tool', im genuinely sad for them, but it has to be done. Ive got history with violence and cant take them breaking everything.
    Ill tell you all how it goes today. Ill hold onto anything he cant, and do what i can.

  • @axelotoll
    @axelotoll Před 2 lety

    Do you know how to stop a sibling from trying to yell at you if you simply tap their jaw? Cause mine won’t stop and all I did was simply tap the underside of her jaw

  • @humboldtharvey4960
    @humboldtharvey4960 Před 2 lety

    My five Fs. Fight, Flight, Freeze, Facade or Flim-Flam.

  • @TheCorporateKitchen
    @TheCorporateKitchen Před 2 lety

    good working day

  • @Sky97260
    @Sky97260 Před 2 lety

    my mom is an alcoholic and always yelling lol

  • @taboovsknowledge1603
    @taboovsknowledge1603 Před 6 měsíci

    These people's advice on YT seem as if they can logic the issue away.
    A person with a functional mental disorder resulting in rage that has been their whole life is not going to be logically words fixed?
    You must get away from them.
    Rage is like a toy to them and they will not let anyone take their toy away, and I suggest don't play with their toy!

  • @samislam2746
    @samislam2746 Před 2 lety

    the music is so annoying

  • @beatawlodarczyk3405
    @beatawlodarczyk3405 Před rokem

    Don't like your way of thinking.