Turning Lust into Love:How to harness the energy in lust to become pure.
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- čas přidán 5. 11. 2020
- Lust is a powerful passion which overwhelms many people. How does a person overcome lust? It is by harnessing the energy that is in lust, or any powerful passion or sin and turning it towards good. We talk about this in detail. This is the answer to a question that was posed by a caller who had listened to a sermon on Ancient Faith radio, from the redeeming the time podcast:www.ancientfaith.com/podcasts...
/the_ladder_of_divine_ascent_step_05.26_turning_lust_into_love
(Also at:www.orthodox.net/sermons/ladde...)
This video is at: CZcams: • Turning Lust into Love...
Facebook: fb.watch/1BuFisvsi0/
Once a Russian nun explained to us that this process is called "сублимация" ( sort of sublimation). Monks and nuns use the internal energy to pray more fervently and to do more prostrations. It works! And not only for monks, but for anyone. Instead of lamenting about having impure thoughts, it is wise to immediately jump to converting the inner flame into a fervent prayer. It works only if one is not lukewarm and has a zeal to follow Christ.
This is a fantastic comment! Thank you! It is a principle I have learned, but never knew what to call it. Priest Seraphim
@@rvbagshawepilot8387 I'm not so much one to be teaching others, but in my experience, it has been helpful to establish a prayer rule (even better to receive one from a spiritual father, and then force oneself (by violence against your passion!) to follow that rule. The rule needs to work you, like a physical workout does. You don't want to injure your spiritual muscles (they are weak), but you do want to exercise them so they can grow strong. If you experience resistance that tries to dissuade you from doing it, then that is good; it means your passions are opposing you. Pushing against that resistance and overcoming it, one occasion at a time, lifts the weight that oppresses the soul, and builds your endurance. Repeat until resistance diminishes, then increase the work load. So I have been taught, and have found help. God bless you in your efforts.
In the Tales of a russian pilgrim he exactly gives such advise all the time to people he encounters on his travels! God bless all!
I was very angry today and wanted to get back at a loved one for their hurtful words and show them their hypocrisy etc. I went out to buy something at the corner store and by the time I got back I was even angrier and ready to type something back but I knew I could not do that because anything I could think of was nasty or hurtful in some way. I fervently prayed and all the anger dissipated for the rest of the evening. Blessed be God ☦🛐
Is zeal the same as emotional?
I struggle with lust immemsenly. Haven grown up in a culture where porn is socially acceptable, it is very hard to shake off these sinful habits. Sometimes I can go weeks without commiting this sin, but then i can easily fall into it again.
Same here my friend. I will keep you in my prayers☦️
@@nikothegr8 Thanks a lot, friend. That means a lot. I will do the same for you ❤️
“Pornography is the devil’s iconography.” -Fr. Seraphim Rose
Same here bro but we just have to keep getting back up and picking up our cross. We have to maintain a brotherhood of being St. Simon (helped Jesus carry cross) to each other by helping each other carry our crosses. I think men need to be part of an intimate group and I think it is key that every Orthodox parish should have a men’s group that also offers support and resource on managing pornography and masturbation.
One thing that helped me is FASTING and praying , fast and pray , fast from meat and diary , be aware of ur thoughts and feelings , read the bible everyday and pray everyday . Porn gives pleasure to the mind but chokes the soul . Go to the gym also
Now we know why people got married at 16-17 and women used to wear less revealing clothes. Its absolutely ridiculous in our time. Not only are they wearing these things in public, but we are absolutely bombarded with it on the internet.
I'm Orthodox. It took me long time to realize that I've been lusting and not thinking straight and succumbing to other people's opinions.
Once I've prayed and received holy communion I started remember good and positive things, I entered church and in my eyes I started seeing the icons clear and with no fear. I'll continue praying this thing gets away from me because I just don't wanna stay like this. I plan on having a family so I wanna stay away from lust 'cause it's keeping me away from that goal and making myself a better person.
Thanks God! Stay strong!
Please pray for my ability to overcome the temptation of lust and that I may live a chaste and pure life. Amen 🙏
🙏
Remember James 1:12 Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.
Please pray for me too. I think having someone help you put website and app blockers on your phone is perfectly appropriate given that everyone has weak moments no matter how discipined we are.
🙏
Please pray for me to end my struggle with lust🙏
Amen a very important message in the current culture of the world
I am glad you liked it. Please spread it around! Priest Seraphim seraphim@orthodox.net
Good morning, my name is Carlos. Please send me the prayers for purity I have been lost to lust most of my life and need help.I don't want to live this way anymore.
3:02 Powerful Passion Out of Control, Consuming You!
4:08 Turn this energy of passion to a better source.
5:03 Be aggressive against your sin. Choose to NOT do sinful things.
6:16 Capacity from within to sin, 6:48 You have to struggle to NOT do sinful things.
6:55 Learning from secular sources can teach about God.
• A bodybuilder competition
+ a bodybuilder dedicated his life to winning that contest. But he made it his dedication to doing everything to achieve his victory.
8:13 Times where were good, times where we’re struggling worse.
9:11 Put out Bad Fire with Water 💧
• Prayer
• Fast
• (Put away from your life what causes the Lust)
10:22 Conquer Your Lust Violently, through Stuggling and Conquering the passions.
Thank you timestamp guy! I sometimes do timestamps but it's completely a manual process perhaps you have a better process. I'd love to know about it. Priest Seraphim Holland seraphim@orthodox.net
Lust = selfishness. Love = self-less-ness.
"LORD if it's about money I can deal with that.. but I thought the lesson of life = LOVE...guide us through the nonsense that so many preach. It is not a yellow brick road to Oz, it's a painful journey home. Bless all who want to know you.
And bless those who haven't got a clue or don't care. They need you even more.
AMEN".
Excellent insight, can you send me the prayers.
I’ve been a Roman Catholic and now I’m going Byzantine Catholic church. I get so much more from the Byzantine church and I did through my nine years of Catholic school. Lust has been a problem in the past for me as I am working on it diligently. Thank you for your wisdom, it’s very needed in this crazy world of ours. God bless you father.👍🏻🙏🏼
Having the Grace is also very important in spiritual warfare which is why God Established His Orthodox Church to aid us. Being in schism means we lack the grace to be able to fight the good fight
Great spiritual insight Father! God bless!
Thank you Father! Very helpful video! Pray for me, a sinner.
I needed this. Been struggling with this for a long time. Thank you for the information
Thank you for making this video, Father.
Thank you, Father. These lessons are much needed
Thank you father for great mesage may God bless you ,our love from Melbourne
Thank you for this great video. Your words really help.
Oh yes indeed! Amen! Thank you Father for this important message!
Please spread it around! Priest Seraphim seraphim@orthodox.net
Thank you father for your advice.
thank you for your videos, great advise and wisdom
Thank you so much for this video.
Thank you.. I would be grateful to receive the purity prayer. Kind regards Ryan
Thank you for this video. I have been battling against this for a while now and it's not easy but it is getting better. I remember reading in the Bible that we should run away from sin and temptation. I think of that when I'm tempted and turn the energy into constructive things like prayer, helping others, attending Holy Mass, Bible studies, Divine Mercy and good old fashioned hard work and exercise. It is difficult but I have found that the hard thing to do and the right thing to do are usually the same thing. I want a good wife and though I don't know who she will be, I have made up my mind that I will be faithful to her now by being faithful to the Lord. It is difficult to date these days as acting out lust is pretty much expected by and large. This is why I only seek dating prospects in the church. While I know that doesn't guarantee that I won't be tempted, It helps because at least I have a better chance of finding a woman that will appreciate and understand my chastity. I did things my way for a long time and always ended up in loss and misery. God gives us His Word, the sacraments, the church and clergy, the writings of the saints and much more. I figure that if I try and apply His instructions to my life that I will find a good wife that I can be kind and good to who will do the same for me for the glory of the Lord which will lead to a happy life. This video encourages me as it can be a lonely path being chaste and sometimes I wonder if I'm getting it right or wrong. Thank you for the lesson and may the Lord God Through Christ Jesus in Unity with the Holy Spirit bless you and keep you always. I humbly thank Him for you and I thank you for your work.
TY father.
Thank you!
An important contribution to the cultural reconstruction.
The Dragon of Lust burns marriages to the ground. I've lived through this horrible pain. It's rendered so many disillusioned and hopeless. The destruction of it comes when you least expect it and it doesn't show mercy.
That's why Orthodox stay away from the Romantic or the "fun" this world worships as an idol. Sex is just meant for procreation. Nothing more.
At least that's what I've heard.
Having suffered much in my life there's one thing I know for certain, touch is not arbitrary. It means something. If it means something it can be organized into a story that means the best thing. But that would require thinking about your spouse in that situation. This is a sin obviously.
Part of the reason I stay away from the Church has to do with this lack of vision for intimacy within Marriage. Every tradition on the planet has a cosmic mythos surrounding intimacy. For some reason that doesn't seem to be the case in Orthodoxy. It feels like that part of our being has been left to the wolves. Why wouldn't the Church be concerned about this particular bridge? My entire generation has been sacrificed to a Satanic ideology that uses Intimacy and touch as a weapon. Men are told their monsters from birth while women are liberated to do as they please. Why wouldn't there be soldiers of Christ on those front lines building a way through? Is a Man's touch really a vile thing? what makes a woman's touch more valuable?
The value and meaning of touch between men and women has been forgotten. Look at the average partners men and women have a year. Nothing matters anymore and the whole "men and women just like doing whatever because they like it" answer the Church usually gives isn't going to cut through that confusion. Otherwise millions of men and women would be flooding Orthodox Church's Everywhere. People are starving for intimacy and suffering in their confused pleasures. Where's the Church concerned with this issue on the ground? Or is it all just a sin that needs to be thrown to the fires?
Sex and intimacy are different things, very different. Ideally they are connected, but unfortunately, that is often forgotten or ignored these days. Sex is for procreation; what else would it be for? What I'm referring to is the physical act, and it applies even to animals.
Intimacy is for human relationships, a mutuality of sharing between persons. It can be found perfectly well apart from sex, especially in friendship, if the friendship is to have real depth. Personally, I would say that a friendship without intimacy is not a real friendship - perhaps simply an amicable acquaintanceship, perhaps built only around sharing a pleasing activity.
In my understanding of Orthodoxy, the Church has no "lack of vision" for intimacy in marriage. Marriage unites two people into one. Ideally, this union makes them inseparable, so that separating them would be as devastating as losing a limb. As they grow in love, they learn about each other, and learn to respond in loving ways, in all parts of life, and know a great many of the very private things about each other that enable them to see and respond even without words, to anticipate with considerable accuracy, and to forgive with understanding. It is the relationship that Orthodox Christians are expected to work hardest at and to protect and build with the greatest energy, always seeking greater union. How is such a thing conceivable without intimacy? I would say, it can't be.
And then there's sexual intimacy. The Church blesses it only within marriage, because if sex is for procreation, then sexual intimacy occurs in a context wherein a child might be produced. If the partners have physical barriers making them unable to conceive, yet they act in the same way as if they might, for that is the sexual expression that is fitting to all, and inability to conceive is not always possible to predict. All needs to be left open to God to intervene in any situation if He should choose. (This viewpoint is approaching intimacy by starting with sex.)
The parallel view approaches sex by beginning with intimacy. The Church's context for sex is marriage for this reason also: that sex miscarries when it doesn't operate in a context of intimacy, and specifically that of marriage. Between the two persons, all the friendship and love and understanding and sharing are a starting point for sharing sex, each and every time. It is a profound giving of each to the other. Forcing or abuse of any kind violates the intimacy first, and thus violates the blessing of the sexuality also. It is not blessed for married couples to have sex if one of them is unwilling at the time. Unwillingness can and does occur for good reason from time to time, and must be met with love in the other partner. Married, they are one flesh. Married, they are intertwined persons. Insisting on one's own way is not love. And lack of love violates a marriage. There is no such thing as "conjugal rights".
Wherefore, to seek to enter into marriage, a couple usually needs to establish some degree of intimacy in order to see if that prospect is wise, or even possible. And if already in a marriage that lacks intimacy, it is often best to seek intimacy first before seeking a restoration of sex. But if an intimate couple come together in sex, willing to work together to raise and support any child that might be conceived, it is blessed, and all the pleasures that derive from the experience are blessed as well.
This is a summary of the Church's teachings that I have absorbed over time. I think it includes a few things you may have been missing (or even wanting in some form). I'm sure you can find better sources to verify or inquire where I have might have said things clumsily. May God have compassion on your pains.
I want to fast but my Protestant parents would never let me abstain from eating for extended periods of time. I still live under their roof.
You can fast in so many different ways. You can eat a little less, you could deny yourself sweets. Or, for example, you can find something that takes a lot of your time, like phone or games and just stop with that. Consult with your spiritual father.
Thank you. Ive been struggling with lust and trying to overcome my desire but fault miserably at times.
Your technical abilities are sufficient to pass on your message
When I fall I "feel" such a strong condemnation...
Thanks for this amazing video, father! It contains a lot of great insights that help fight the passion of lust. If you have time, please send me the prayers of purity! My name is Michael.
I need prayers for purity, these past weekends I have been struggling
I would like the prayers of purity and also learn to make prostrations. I’m new to Orthodox and I struggle with lust.
Thank you father, please send me the pray to keep clean and holy.
Send your email to seraphim@orthodox.net
I know it’s two years later but is it still possible to send me the prayers for purity please. Thank you for your teaching.
Hi, i’m not an orthodox but i’d like to have the prayer of purity
Pleas send prayers of purity. Thankyou.
I try everyday to ... PUT ON THE ARMOR OF GOD
Im sorry can you please describe the fasting part in what the bible describes it?
I've struggled with this for as long as I can remember... about 2 years I overcame porn addiction. Around the same time I meet a beautiful woman whoni have been having an open affair with that has made my porn addiction not so bad. My kids and family are completely aware and I have not tried to hide it. I pray and try and try and try but it's so difficult. I'm disciplined in all areas of my life except LUST. 🤷♂️
Are you trying it anyway to repent from this? You should be doing frustrations, fasting, confessing, saying specific prayers every day. If you do not struggle against this very toxic sin, you will lose your soul..
Please pray for all victims of childhood sexual abuse, victims of rapes, victims of use and than being discarded trough murder!!! All rapists go to hell or pray for forgiveness!!
Sinners Repent! Yes indeed
Divorce leaves people vulnerable
Could you send me the prayers for purity please?
Hello. I have been on an ongoing battle with lust for many years of my life now and it makes me upset as I've been wanting to grow in my faith but the sin drags me down. I would like the prayers of purity please to help me a little. Thank you and God bless
Please send email to seraphim@orthodox.net
Hello Father, I'm in need of God's help. I've been struggling with lust alot lately. I've been consuming pornography alot, like daily. And I feel like I can't go a day without it. I'm afraid to tell my parents about it because I'm scared of how they will react and my relationship with them might be ruined. I feel like I'm beginning to lose my faith as well and I'm pretty much giving in to the consumption. I need Gods help to deliver me from evil, but I don't know what prayers to say. Please Father, and brothers and sisters, what can I do? I'm turning 15 in not even a month. I'm scared for my future and what will happen in my life if this addiction doesn't go away. Thank you, Samuel.
If you're an Orthodox Christian, go to Confession my brother. There is no other way to be free.
Get in touch with your priest, and tell your parents you're going to Confession. Do not be afraid, any fear you feel is the devil screaming at the thought of losing power over you. Your spiritual father will rejoice in your repentance, not shame you. Push yourself and don't look back. May God assist you on your journey.
In Christ,
A sinner
Listen to Nicholas and follow his advice my brother, Never be ashamed to run to the priest and confess. Many of us, me included, have been in silent shame suffering with lust. It will dog you and consume you if not attacked and in full confession, fasting and fervent prayer. I am 51 and still have to struggle with the remnants but it does get easier and a our ever and faithful God Will help you. Struggle and pray my friend. My prayers are with you and anyone fighting against this powerful passion. Don't Ever give up!
Thank you my brothers, I really appreciate the replies. Im trying to do better and I pray daily I have done confession months ago, I'm still sort of struggling but not as much as before and plan on going again soon. My faith isn't really that strong either but I do keep praying every day, before and after eating and night. that stuff truly is poison, my life hasn't been the same since. But I really appreciate the replies and I'm taking your advices and I'm doing well, it's hard to resist the urges but I'm trying. Thank you brothers, God bless you both! Keep fighting!
You are not alone at all and the battle will continue but it gets easier.
We may never be completely free of it in this world but we can struggle. Small struggles sometimes and some stronger but thos is how we learn to see the enemies attacks and pay less and less attention, get stronger and stronger. This experience and strength will help in every other area that we will struggle against passions. It is good for my heart to see a battle won and my eyes opened to God's strength and love becoming part of me. Put it out of your mind to give up or ever let despondency chain you. Smile and turn towards God and cry.
talk to God and ask for help
What is the prayer of purity teacher?
How can I overcome the passion of judging others and how do i make prostrations properly?
Father I would like a copy of the purity prayer and if you can pray for me.
Send email to seraphim@orthodox.net
When I was a kid I was visited by an angel of the lord who layed hands over me and then praying for me. Another time I was jumping on a drain and it collapsed and I felt a force push both hands out of the drain. From that age I have had dreams visions and god speaking to me of future events and it happens exactly how he says what does this all mean thanks and god bless
That many visions means that you were being deluded by the devil. May God help you.
@@orthodoxnet dear father I did not have a vision I saw the angel in angelic form, also if it was demonic why would he save my life and I also began to prophecy from that age and every prophecy has happened just as what I believe to be god?
Can you send me these prayers of purity? I'm catholic I'm not familiar with the prayers your referring too, also how do I do these prostration?
Yes, send your email to seraphim@orthodox.net
Father, what do I do when I'm at the receiving end of lusting men, although I'm dressed modest & take care that I'm covered, but as a beautiful young woman, they can't help it. And then afterwards I get angry, and when I sit with it I weep cause it breaks my heart to be treated good because they want something from me. Thank you.
Can you send me the prayers that you talked about in the video?
I’m only at the beginning of my life in Christ and plan to be baptized in summer in Greece and thereby becoming a member of the Orthodox Church.
I struggle a lot with pornography and really need these prayers for moments of weakness!🙏
send your email to seraphim@orthodox.net
Where can I find the prayer for purity?
Send me your email, and I will send it. seraphim@orthodox.net
I dont think that is called discipline, but better WILLPOWER and also CLARITY about what are you doing.
Hello, Father. I hope you are well, by the Lord's grace. Could you send me the prayers for purity?
I will. Please send your email to seraphim@orthodox.net
Father, what prayer can I make against masturbation and the impure thoughts that enslave me to it? The Lord always answers my prayers, but he has not yet freed me from this habit
Please send your email to seraphim@orthodox.net. I will send you the prayers for purity
Please father I need the prayers of purity
send your email to seraphim@orthodox.net
100% correct about the masterbation you need pray prostrate fast beg Jesus the only way no other ways around it 🙏
I’ve been struggling heavily with pornography thanks for the advice
What is the prayer of Purity
Send me your email to seraphim@orthodox.net and I will send them
Could I please receive the prayers for purity via email?
PLease send your email to seraphim@orthodox.net
I've studied and still study now multiple religions and i must say, what is a religion be just guidelines to connect to your higher being ? Whatever if it is god, jesus or goddess kali whatever, religions portray the act of sexual misdirection and not "Misconduct" as a waste of time and ressource more than a source of guilt and of deceiving god, god for what i know always loves you, because god YHWH, litteraly lives in you. And if those emotions of lust and wanting to ejaculate to other male/female are there, it is because it is yours to bear, it is your own cross that you carry, it is your duty to work on those emotions and understand them rather than violently condemning them, because you are litteraly blaming a natural cause for existing in the first place. You rather have to flow with the current, accept that its there, and let it pass without interacting wathsoever with it. Because it is a beneficial habit that you are trying to learn, something that is profitable to your soul, of course you want to relapse, even buddah wanted to, but you do because you still don't know the benefits of "retention", and retention is nothing but pointless if you don't transmute into something else, you just create more tension for nothing. Do not follow instructions blindly because you think it will solve the problem, you have to actually watch the problem to understand and stop it, you don't have to be "violent". This is a pretty hard topic essentialy linked to the disconnection that has occured all over the world between folks, the phones and social media etc have made everything virtual even our lives, i can see why we could be tempted to watch pornography it offers a sense of connection that is missing in us and a sense of joy through the act of self-pleasure but then again is this the best way to actually take care of that problem of disconnection ? Or does it just deepens that hole in wich you feel in your chest ? I suggest you to also study brahmacharya wich is a branch of buddhism specifically linked to good use of your sexual power. Hope this made sense, stay safe much love to you.
I only wish you wouldn't have put down the healthy passions of others, such as bodybuilding, which is almost certainly a positive influence on the young certainly young men, it's maybe not so vain and narcissistic as one would guess by your attitude and is more a testament to the benefits of very persistent hard work.
I "only wish"that you would not draw erroneous conclusions. I workout a lot, and just finished a power-lifting workout today.
@@orthodoxnet You say I've drawn an erroneous conclusion, but wasn't it you who said "something not at all about God... can you teach you about God" with respect to bodybuilding? Which, if you work out as you say, I would hope you understand can be a highly religious, spiritual experience. It is through intensive physical exercise that many people have their faith in God restored, and it has the potential to save lives from Satan, as mine has been saved. You said bodybuilders "prance around in a bikini bottom and flex their muscles and everybody goes 'Oh, wow, this is great'." To me this is clearly demeaning and would be discouraging to your listeners who have never given it a proper shot and I said "I only wish" because everything else in the video I was on board with. I appreciated your metaphors, your methods of teaching, but I thought that it didn't make a lot of sense for a figure as respectable as yourself to discourage something potentially life saving to your broad range of viewers.
@@piousseph6219 please give the timestamp. I have time to listen to it all
@@orthodoxnet Starts at about 7 minutes 7:00
@@piousseph6219 Do you understand the point I was making? I was making a valid point, a positive point, and you only reacted negatively. If you do not understand why I referred to bodybuilding, we cannot have a conversation.
I have a hatred towards my Catholic Church. They won’t take me in because the course in basic(exceptionally basic) Catholic teachings is on hold due to the pandemic and they want me to complete it. Priests aren’t willing to take me to confessionand they donmt want me taking the communion. I’ve been going to mass nearly every single day for the past couple of months. Praying for literally hours a day. I tend to spend over an hour in Church praying after mass. Yet I’m being cut short in my battle because I can’t receive the sacraments. It severely tugs down my motivation even though I will never let down. How stupid can they be to do this. My soul is at stake. My eternity..!! I trust in God but I’m just so alarmed over how they are not following Christ but their own regulations. Woe to them
Oh and I forgot to mention that I have told the priest about all of my struggles. The main one being a demon haunting me in my dreams and thoughts, giving me the most haunting and horrid experiences a human can have. I experience up to cannibalistic urges on a daily basis. I have the desire to eat garbage off of the ground, dead birds, animals and human flesh. I compulsively laugh at people in agony, including my most loved ones. I have dreams where I murder them. I'm a normal young guy experiencing these temptations. Along with dreams from hell of people burning and never dying, dreams of demons shouting at me in ancient languages and forcing me to eat in dreams when I am trying desperately to fast. Accompanied by the pleasant experience of being followed by strange people on the street who turn away once I start praying. I've needed up to 3-4 hours of prayer a day in order to just stay alive and not collapse. I think I'm one of the few people to say that I am blessed by God by there mere fact that I haven't committed suicide or died of mere exhaustion. Even the excorcists say that confession is the best way to fight the devil yet they won't make an exception for me to receive this sacrament. Sorry I just had to vent this somewhere, after aggressively suffering and fighting this evil thing with all of my heart and strength and yet eventually falling to its wicked temptations.
@@AndrewFerrer3d maybe this could help. Try holly water or try going to orthodox monastery. If you could've come to Ethiopia you would rid of the spirit through many miracle of the Holly waters.
you might need an exorcism
look up fr chad ripperger
he is a catholic exorcist
Kingdom o heaven is won by violence? Explain.
Mt. 11:12
When He says ditry jokes qhat does that mean are Gay jokes in that
Im not gay
How do orthodox people seeking marriage find a partner without lust? It seems to turn potential marriage inquiries into friendship and not one that leads to marriage. Friend zone. It seems that lust is necessary to jump start a relationship that will become a godly marriage. How are children created without lust?
Sexual attraction is not a sin if there is not lust.
Thank you for your response Father. What is the difference between sexual attraction and lust. I’ve always understood them to be the same thing. I’m 38 now. Unmarried. And its always been a conundrum to deal with. I became orthodox 3 years ago and still trying to correct previous religious understandings concerning the christian life.
@@superpeaceloveunity I appreciate your thoughtful reply. It seems manifestly obvious that with normal sexuality, the opposite genders are attracted to one another. A man sees certain things in a woman and considers them to be pleasing, and a woman likewise sees certain things in a man and considers them to be pleasing. This is not a sin. Noticing a pretty girl or a handsome man is not a sin! Fantasies about such a person or conniving to have carnal relations with such a person is a sin.
Lust is a self-centered thing. Lust is when someone wants to satisfy their own desires treating whatever they use to satisfy their desires as an object. If we are attracted to someone, of the opposite sex of course, because they are pretty or witty, or we love the way they speak, all the way their hair looks when they turn a certain way, this is just biology. God “made” biology, didn’t He?
I myself was attracted to my wife because her voice was beautiful. I loved the way she spoke and the sweetness of her words. She was pretty too. I can say honestly that I did not lust after her because that is not the Christian way, but my attraction to her is what initially brought me to overcome my shyness and approach her.
I did not kiss the woman that would become my wife until I had dated her for three months, and that was the day before she would leave to go to Germany, and I would leave to go home, at the end of the semester. As I was walking back to my residence, and my legs seem to be like Jell-O, I was very surprised.
The next term, we solidified our relationship by spending much time together, but without expression of lust. Remember times when we would walk through parks at Purdue University, holding hands or arm in arm, and that seemed like heaven to me. There was no lust, but there was attraction. Of course, I was a young man, and I actively worked not interacting with the woman I loved with lust.
@@seraphimhFATHER THREE MONTHS? It's paining me just not being with the girl I love. It's like without her I'm half empty. Is that meer coincidence or do you actually think you should hold back a simple kiss for so long? It's not some cute crush I feel for her, its a consuming storm, the more I learn about her the more I love her. I know three months go quickly, but do you take millenial breaks between anything more intimate? And the worse thing is I can't even talk to her without my mind going blank half the time, and she does the same. We end up just smiling and giggling at eachother like idiots and I do love those moments, but I really don't want to wait until the celestial bodies align on a blood moon ecplise under a monochrome rainbow to hold hands. Thank you for any response Father. And on a side note it's always nice to hear about healthy relationships, even though it took me a week to read, don't wanna rush things ya know. Thank you again.
Thank you for your help, for your time, and for your response Father! It has helped!
Not good for Man to be Alone. The sexual energy has to go somewhere. Leading a reluctantly celibate life leada to great temptation.
It is not good for a man or woman to fornicate or to do something that is sexually immoral or unclean. Doesn't matter if they're alone, or married. Don't make excuses for yourself.
@@orthodoxnet lol. Thanks for the comfort
@@oliverkent7158 poor fellow. You want someone to justify your sin, and you're not comfortable when your sin is not justified. You can do more than you think, you just have to try. God help you.
@@orthodoxnet wow. Sadly you lack.the Grace to counsel anyone struggling with sin. Next you will claim your own sinless perfection..
a man who cannot act like a decent human being without a wife is better of never marrying a woman. she ought to be treated as the very image of God she is and the sin committed in marriage, forcing sex aka rape, and lusting will cost such a person their soul if they do not repent. marriage is not a solution to mentally ill people who see the opposite sex as an object.
I agree that fleshly lust is always bad outside of the proper context of marriage, but did you know that there are good lusts? Good hungers? We need to have pure lust... in the proper contexts. If a man or woman never lusted after their spouse, can you imagine the dullness of their marriage?
I want to cordially disagree with you. the terminology you're using is never the terminology used by the church or teaching in the church
Since Christ is a virgin it's better for a Christian to not have sex. Catholics only view sex as a means of procreation. If you don't conceive, you've missed the mark or the point of sex and have sinned.
You may be confusing words, whose use can differ inside the Church from outside. And you may be confusing a common Catholic point of view, or a Protestant one, similar to Another Cat's below, which are not Orthodox. Read some of the comments and replies above. The Orthodox view contrasts sexual attraction and lust. Attraction is natural, desirable in a husband or wife, and a blessing of God. Lust is not according to nature as God intended it, because it turns a person to selfish satisfaction of pleasure. Lust is not loving, but insists on its own way and its own pleasure. (Cor 13) It is God's will that we love our neighbor as ourself. But our husband or wife is our very self, the one whom God has united to us, for life. Would it be right not to love in our marriage bed? Love your neighbor in good will, in friendship, in mercy, in forgiveness, in helpfulness, in kindness, in support and comfort, in assistance. No one is an island. We all need to give and receive those things. Would we withhold any of these from our spouse? And would we especially withhold it in sexual love in the marriage bed? Lust needs to be banned everywhere. And sexual attraction is reserved, partly because of its special intimacy between husband and wife, and also because of the children that may be conceived and would need all the help and nurture the parents can give, in love - another bond for life, and another gift of God for the blessing of the whole world.
@@anothercat1300 If I may cordially disagree (as an Orthodox), your point of view is not ours, and I wonder just how doctrinally Catholic it is as well. For St Paul said in his epistles that it's better not to marry than to marry; he did not say that about sex. And the Church in the second and third centuries (we were all in communion then), being under persecutions, has saints who were married, some platonically, and who were also martyred for the faith. Together they did what they might not have been able to do alone. Is that not one reason for marrying? So if marriage means more than sex (as Orthodox certainly maintain), and the Church blesses it as a sacrament (this the Catholic church definitely still does), then one must be clear that Paul is neither dismissing marriage nor demonizing sex. That is misinterpretation.
If a married couple don't conceive, then they simply haven't been granted that particular blessing of God until then. The Bible is full of stories of how wives had no children, and the ancients looked down on them and called them sinful (as was the customary outlook of the time). But the stories tell how God did grant them children is His time. One such couple have both been recognized as saints since the earliest times in the church, Sts Joachim and Anna, the parents of the Holy Virgin Mary, who bore Jesus the Christ. They had tried to conceive (yes, the normal way), and did not until old age and beyond earthly hope or expectation, and then God granted them Mary. I think that the Catholic church is unlikely to agree that they sinned in trying, or that they missed the mark. The Orthodox Church would not say that.
lust in marriage is absolutely disgusting, and it definitely is not true that a lack of it makes marriage dull. you have yet to encounter Christ in your marriage it seems...
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