Bad Kids with Bible Names
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- čas přidán 14. 06. 2024
- Just stop naming your kids Bible names, it's not lining up.
From my third special John Crist: Would Like To Release a Statement, filmed live at the Majestic Theater in Dallas, TX.
Watch the full special here:
• John Crist: Would Like... - Komedie
![John Crist: Would Like to Release a Statement - FULL SPECIAL [2023]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/D3j3mFrENaU/mqdefault.jpg)
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"I've seen that kid, that's Saul" 💀 plsss
I’ve made that same joke before John did 😂
😂🤣
I know that one was smoooooth 😂😂
Would there be terrible sibling rivalry if he had a brother named David?
"You're bad for the brand" 😂😂😂😂
I have a Malachi and a Caleb 😂😂
No allergies but I gotta start working on that warrior thing with them.
@absolutetuber YEEESS!! raising more warriors for the KINGDOM! may Yahweh richly bless u in that! 😍 💪🏿👊🏿🔥
My children have the most uncommon Biblical names.
Get em to learn martial arts 👍👍
@absolutetuber My oldest sons name is Malachi Caleb! ❤
@@kalonmontgomery8213Mines is Armon, what's yours?
🤣 I met a kid named Solomon once. Definitely didn’t live up to his name. 🤣
😂😂
Didn't have too many concubines, eh?
@joshuahendrickson8694 😂😂😂😂
Keep naming your kids with Bible names !!! Way better than the awful names parents name their kids now 😂
Fax
Truth
Right? Like blue ivy... rza...
@@TOOO951 arrow, apple, wind 😅
People are like my daughter named Mayson. Should be spelled Mason and that's a boy name. 😂😂😂
Glad I gave my daughters normal names.
Thank you for the laugh. It’s been so rough and having a good laugh is truly a blessing.
If you come to Jesus Christ and seek him daily he gives you joy that doesn't compare to a laugh or joke.
Mocking God or his Holy word isn't a blessing. It's a sin and needs repentance.
I don't say this to offend but I'm a watchman and I'm warming you Jesus Christ is coming for his bride and if we don't repent and get our lives right with him we'll be left behind to endure tribulations like the world has never seen. Don't ever take the mark of the beast Revelation 13:16 & 13:17. If you do you will go to hell in a lake of fire and torture forever.
You are alive you still have time to seek God and find him. I'm warming you, time is running out.
Jesus Christ died for our sins on the cross. Repent believe on the Son of God. Jesus Christ is alive, he sits on the right hand of God and is coming to catch up his people who are ready and right with him.
You need to do one on people in the Bible that you should never name your kids after: Judas, Haman, Jezebel, Herod, and Lot come to mind.
Don't worry, they're just names from stories that may or may not be true.
Or....Esau. Really happened. Dad was a bit off.
@@nonprogrediestregredi1711 Archeology has already found evidence of many biblical people.
Don't forget Nimrod and Cain lol
Lot?!?! He was not a Bad Guy!
I named my daughter Faith. It is to remind me of my faith. She is now 14 and on fire for God. She is Christian and unashamed 🙏
May she always be safe and protected ❤
@@marshmallow7640 thank you. She walks with the Lord and He will be watching over her 🙏
That's too bad. Maybe she'll be able to free herself once she's older and learns to think critically.
@@davidcattin7006 what's to bad, my 14 year old who is almost of legal age has decided to except Jesus as her Savior. You can't force a person to do that. It has to be an individual decision
@@vickiefinney6073 accept.
No joke. When I was student teaching years ago, there was a kid in my class named....wait for it.....Jesus. No not Jesùs like in Spanish. Jesus like the Savior. But this kid was naughty with a capital N. Do you have any idea how weird it is to yell multiple times a day "Jesus don't do that! Jesus sit down! Jesus follow directions please!" I felt like I had to spend extra time praying before bed for telling at the Son of God.
It's just a name attached to a superstition. Also, you may not realize this, but the historical figure that we refer to as Jesus of Nazareth was not actually called that by his contemporaries.
There was actually more than one Jesus mentioned in the Bible. But only one Jesus Christ.
@@highway2heaven91 Care to back that up with scripture?
@@Aeon-the-Voidmind Colossians 4:11
@@highway2heaven91 "and Jesus who is called Justus. These are the only men of the circumcision among my fellow workers for the kingdom of God, and they have been a comfort to me."
I wasn't particular about choosing a Biblical name for my son, until his dad said he wasn't to have a Biblical one (he's an atheist...my life was a mess at that time.) SO...we named him Thomas 😂 His dad didn't realise it was in the Bible!
Maybe he should have read the Bible before choosing a non-Biblical name. I thought Thomas was common knowledge. 😂
@@anndeecosita3586 so did I! 😂
How ironic, considering it was Thomas who doubted and insisted he place his fingers into the side of Christ
@@codyevaristo8029 Yes, I'd never thought of it like that! 😊
I pray your Thomas’s dad can turn his doubts into belief!
My favorite is Jacob. A big part of the story was that it was a crappy name and he gets a better one.
Mom says "I like Jacob" Dad: "That's a horrible name, how about Israel" Mom gets a call from the doctor: I reviewed your ultrasound and its twins! So what will we name the second one? How about Esau??
Start changing all the jacobs you know. What's up isreal?!
Jacob means deceiver😮
@@mirandaokon exactly--the idea of the story Jacob (Deceiver) wrestles and is then renamed Israel (wrestled with God and man and have prevailed).
"Jacob" in English is ... James. It's one of the more fascinating name etymologies out there.
1:33 “Here’s our son Paul! I’ve seen that kid, that’s Saul!” The Names Should Match Up!
Wish people would wait 5 years to name their kids to see what they're actually like
Boy a whole fool😂😂😂😂but so true.
12 kids and my mom named my brothers after the disciples ( 1st middle name) excluding the most obvious one
Ain't no way. Did she name him "Jude" instead?
Love that! 😂
Obviously jumped over Thomas since he was the doubter. Would immediately be an atheist
@@Dman0001 Thomas doubted until he had evidence, he was an apologist not an atheist.
i know. it was a jike
@@charlibrown7745
I taught a girl named Jezibel. That was a bad pick on her parents part. I knew of a set of fraternal twins, brother and sister, one was caller Omnipotent and the other was Armageddon. The mom didn’t speak any English but was given a bible when she delivered and opened it up and pointed….
Nooo!😂😂😂
Oh goodness no.
Imagine the nicknames: Omni and Armi.
Armageddon for a girl?
I've seen him. That's Saul! 😂😂😂😂😂
My middle name is Abner, only thing I know about the dude is that he was stabbed lol
More like Stabner teehee
@@tikibarberfan4Ha… 😐
He was King Saul’s chief general
Had to look that one up. King Saul's cousin
His wife, Gladys, drove him nuts, always spying on the neighbors.
I answered this question at his show and also completely forgot what “Andrew,” did…even tho I totally knew 😂
I love Bible names, their meanings are so beautiful, and it shows the parents dreams and hopes for their kids. Just my humble opinion. Very funny stuff by the way.
I love bible names! But this is so funny 😂😂😂
I’m always annoyed how despite all these Bible names we seem to not have that many Esthers. Lots of Davids, Peters, Jacobs, Marys but rarely where I live at least there are few Esthers. I don’t get why we don’t have more Esthers.
Truth. There were a lot of Esther in WW2 generation. Maybe it’ll make a turn around.
I guess you could name one of your children Esther? :))
@@easye5653 I would but I don’t want children. Not made for it. But I do hope to write a book on Esther. Someday. It’s a story that will take years to write. Currently doing research.
@@musicallydisneyamvs6731Well maybe we have a bunch of Esthers in their inner character. (So maybe some women embody her character, but not as much in the name itself). If you catch my drift. But that's awesome that you have that goal and desire to write. Good Luck! 👍
I've got a friend at my church named Esther!
Doesn’t get old! 😂
I told my wife that I wanted to give our child a Bible name. She wouldn’t allow it when I suggested Leviticus
Love this! Keep up the great work!
HA! I've met a few folks who named their kids "Jesús." I always thought they had some pretty lofty expectations with that one.
No..They were Illegal.
You don't even know if they were in the US 🙄
Maybe they expect him to be a messiah. Or, maybe they expect him to be a switch-hitting utility infielder.
Jesus is Spanish for Joshua
@@highway2heaven91 Pretty sure Spanish for Joshua is "Josué."
My son is proudly named Benjamin ❤
TRUTHFUL SPEAKING 😂😂😂😂😂
Who else wishes parents would be more careful about choosing names? Even common ones can cause problems. A fictional example was on Major Dad. His wife's middle name was Esther. Her first name was Polly.
It should be cheaper and easier to get a legal name change. The criminal element has caused problems in that area. Some folks seem to just choose any name from the Bible. Years ago a boy was on The 700 Club named Tobiah. He said that it came from the Book of Tobit. That's one of the books not accepted by Protestants as canon. There is another Tobiah in the Book of Nehemiah. But as John would say, he was a bad dude.
At least he was honest about his name that it came from Tobit book.
Do you realize that not all Christians are Protestant? And Protestants don't have a monopoly on the Bible?
On the unfortunate pairings. I worked with a guy named Holden Cox. I felt so bad for that guy.
I like Bible names, my family is huge, I am the only one out of 6 siblings with a Bible name, same for my husband, we both have very Biblical names, but you should hear all my nieces and nephews names + all of our grandchildren, we have Malichai, Caleb, Paul, Nathan, Sarah, Isaac, etc.
Amazing!
We need more of this
Love Bible names--we have Elizabeth, Paul, Joseph, James and Daniel.
‘The name should line up’ or not 😂
This is one of the best skits I’ve seen of his.
And on top of that, every kid named Angel, definitely acted way more like a fallen one 100% of the time
This is hysterical!
I really think this is his Best Tv special Ever!!!!! I Laughed so hard.
My mother's cousin named:Adam Methusila Soloman Sampson Washington Lafayette.
Mom said he was a real character!
My godmother (grandmothers sister ) named me bcoz I survived brain surgery ( Faith Moriah Thomas )
We were foster parents to a little girl whose name was Delilah 😀😆
according to wikipedia: Samuel[a] is a figure who, in the narratives of the Hebrew Bible, plays a key role in the transition from the biblical judges to the United Kingdom of Israel under Saul, and again in the monarchy's transition from Saul to David. He is venerated as a prophet in Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. In addition to his role in the Bible, Samuel is mentioned in Jewish rabbinical literature, in the Christian New Testament, and in the second chapter of the Quran (although the text does not mention him by name). He is also treated in the fifth through seventh books of Antiquities of the Jews, written by the Jewish scholar Josephus in the first century. He is first called "the Seer" in 1 Samuel 9:9.
My pastor named his son Titus. Makes me think of a dinosaur.
My three brothers, and my husband, all have Bible names.
I know someone named Zebulon. He is a shih tzu puppy.
And to those that name their kid Angel. Stop it now. Nothing worse then sitting in the deans office or court with your Angel.
I have a Matthew Paul, double trouble.
This guy is really funny!!
Still waiting to meet Anyone named Haggai! 😅
That's just classic ❤😂😂😂
😂😂😂 new subscriber here ❤love it
My Mom kind of did that with my sister and I but we are mostly good kids.
She named me somewhat after Zechariah and my sister's name was Sarah.
The funny thing is many people don't think of the meaning of names either. What's worse in my opinion is naming your kid after an angel. They always turn evil.
My nephew's name is Judas... 😳
Immediate subscribe. I love to laugh but hate all the cussing. Nice to find some clean comedy 🙌
Wait until you find out he bribed girls into sleeping with him with tickets to his "Christian" comedy show.
Totally agree with you 😅
😆 That's the Wheel of Life.
Ha my nephew is also named Malachi 😂
I named my daughter Tzipporah - I wanted her to have a strong name-sake!
If she was a boy - she would have been Mordecai =)
That poor baby bc will never have a keychain and forever be correcting people… it’s ZIP or ahh, not T-sip-ora.
@codename495 she's just gonna channel her inner Hermione XD
But we call her Zippy to make it easier and we don't correct people if they try. Her grandma still calls her Sephora XD
Ok but honestly tho my next door neighbors kid his name is joeseph NAH THIS KID IS THE SPAWN OF SATAN.
Never doubt those Josephs!!!!
John needs to do one on virtue names too
I knew a kid named Kane
I have a Bible name. Sara Elizabeth.
I named my son after a Bible villain 😈
Which one?
My daughter is Miriam, and SO MANY PEOPLE are clueless that it's a real name. Um yeah, it's in the Bible!
My mother’s name is Miriam.
Miriam is a great name and an underrated Biblical figure. 🙏
I personally know multiple Miriams, I think it depends on the country how popular that name is :)
Samson was allergic to cutting his hair doesn't make him less of a warrior 😂 you go Malachi and Caleb.
Any kid names Maliki reminds me of Children Of The Corn!
I have never seen it spelled like that. Only Malachi. I knew someone by that name before seeing the movie.
I was named after the prophet Nathan. Nathan called out King David for his affair with Bathsheba. I was calling out Joe Biden.....
Anybody worked in children's church knows it was the Bible names you were yelling the most 🤣😂🤣🤣
Our family has way too many 2nds and 3rds. We refuse to use the nickname Jr. So…..,,We’ve got Rich, Richie, and Richard. Ben, Benjie, Benjamin. Then Big Miguel and Little Miguel. 😂
Malachi is sleeping in the dust of the earth. Just like all humans, awaiting the resurrection.
My dogs are Hosea and Judah. Lol 😂
I think of Children of the Corn when I hear the name Malachi. 😬
Malachi in heaven was pointing down like pointing down at a kid, this dude just implied his nephew will never grow up, either that or his nephew will remail small despite his age 💀💀
Samuel, meaning "God's wisdom". My older brother.
Kids with allergies are terrible. 😂 😂
Anyone named angel is always mean
Every Jacob I know is "bad for the brand". Along with most people named Daniel. ( in my area )
I'm rolliN😂
Could you imagine named after John the Baptist and your family came from an infant baptism tradition. Even funnier!
I almost named my kid Melchior because he was going to be born on wisemen’s day and he absolutely refused and came two weeks late lol 😂he got a normal name
My cousins who are brothers are named Esau and Jacob. 😮
I know a guy named Shadrack
Named myself and took the name John from John the Baptist because if I ran around calling myself Lucifer it would be entirely too obvious.
As long as their names aren't Ahab, Jezebel, and Herod, lol.
I have 2 friends both gay, named Aaron and the other Moses. They’re some really nice people, though.
No Bible names??? I guess I will continue to name my kids after my favorite athletes like Barkavious Mungo.
What's weird is that some Bible names are crazy popular, like the apostles (except Judas), but there are a ton of names in the Old Testament of really good people that just never took off. Also, Esther is the name of the book, and a female Bible name that is reasonably common, but it's actually her Gentile name that she took to HIDE the fact that she was Jewish. (And the moral of that story is to be unashamed of your faith, even in the face of death.) Her real name is Hadassah, but that's not hitting any top female names.
But my favorite are the virtue names. Chastity is almost always a whore. Charity is a selfish spoiled brat. Faith is usually alright, but not so great that she lives up to the name. Hope is a party girl, which is okay, but I'm not sure what's "hopeful" about that. Patience is impulsive, etc.
What's a teething necklace?
My son is name is Benjamin. 🤣🤣🤣
I've heard of one named Deuteronomy...that's right...Deuteronomy.
I have three sons, all three have biblical first and middle names.
Malachi Caleb
Isaiah Joshua
Elias Jacob (Elias is the greek form of Elijah)
😂😂😂
No one knows anything about Malachi other than he was a minor prophet. That's it. But I do agree people not to stop thinking naming their kids after the Bible is going to help anyone
I’m a Caleb, I do just fine with honey but I’m lactose intolerant
My son Nehemiah, Seth, Paul, and Michael. They all have disabilities, but Lord help me with this kids. 😅😅😅
Finally someone says it. Bible names are so overrated. Your kid isn’t special.
I have a Habakkuk friend
John the Baptist was tripping his face off on wild honey....the old testamate says its 100% psychedelic
Hey everyone. My name is Luke 😂
I'd take Elijah over LeMon-Ghelo (spelled lemon jello) any day of the week
Samuel was a prophet of God who'd actually heard the actual voice of God from a very very young age that is who Samuel was and it's sad to see how many so-called family members in Christ don't know certain characters in the Bible it breaks my heart to see this