C-ptsd After Narcissistic Abuse
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- čas přidán 1. 07. 2024
- Narcissistic abuse is an undeniable crisis. Discover Healing, Empowerment, and Authentic Living...
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The Royal We has helped Millions to escape the grip of narcissistic abuse. Here’s a deeper look into what narcissistic abuse looks like and steps to heal from it:
Narcissistic abuse looks like:
Lack of Empathy: Narcissists often show little to no empathy for others, making it easy for them to manipulate and exploit. Narcissists use various tactics such as gaslighting, love bombing, and devaluation to control and dominate their victims.
Common Tactics Used in Narcissistic Abuse:
Gaslighting: Making the victim doubt their own reality and sanity.
Love Bombing: Showering the victim with excessive attention and affection to gain control.
Devaluation: Undermining the victim’s self-worth through criticism, belittling, and emotional neglect.
Isolation: Cutting the victim off from their support systems to increase dependency on the abuser.
Triangulation: Using others to create jealousy or competition, keeping the victim feeling insecure.
Healing from Narcissistic Abuse
How to begin healing from narcissistic abuse:
Understand that you have been enduring narcissistic abuse. This awareness is the first step toward healing.
Get Help:
Work with The Royal We to get the tools to understand and process your experiences. Visit - www.jointheroyalwe.com
Establish No Contact or Low Contact:
Limit or completely cut off communication with the narcissistic abuser. This helps you gain emotional distance and begin your healing journey.
Rebuild Your Self-Esteem:
Engage in activities that boost your confidence and self-worth. Surround yourself with supportive, positive people who value and respect you.
Educate Yourself:
Learn about narcissistic abuse and its effects. Knowledge is empowering and can help you recognize patterns and avoid future toxic relationships.
Practice Self-Care:
Prioritize your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Regular exercise, a healthy diet, adequate sleep, and mindfulness practices can all contribute to your recovery.
Set Boundaries:
Develop and maintain healthy boundaries in all your relationships.
Connect with others who have experienced narcissistic abuse. Join The Royal We Support Group - theroyalwe.kartra.com/page/ynE48
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My psychologist said that CPTSD can also come with OCD. I DEFINITELY have both and I do the same thing where I have to do things over and over and OVER again... and I will admit that it gets so bad that I’ll even have a small breakdown and just cry because of the mental torment. Narcissistic abuse and the mental damage it causes is REAL and far more serious than most people realize.
You could also have autism spectrum
My heart really goes out to people who, for one reason or another, were with a narcissist for several years. I lived with a narcissist for 1 year and I couldn't have made it any longer. He was really ill. I left him 5 states away and am in therapy now 😥 narcissist = devil 😈
Kari Short.... very smart. I moved only 2 miles away.... hope counseling is helping you. Been to two different ones & haven't made a lot of progress.... best of luck to you & everyone going through this
😍😏
Same.. I couldn't last 1 year.. Left him within 10mths and its been 2 years no since my last contact and still suffering the aftermath, what i dont understand is.... How others stay for years... I have a friend married to a narc for more than 10yrs now.. She tried leaving him many times but i guess it didn't work for her cuz he is still around and havent stopped abuse
@@bharathikathireson3273 Yes, I couldn't last the entire year as well. I just ended it 3 months ago and I'm still suffering. I have to go no contact. I'm still at the grief stage of negotiating as if he will return and be better. I think some people are able to leave because they were independent. My friend is unable pr having a harder time leaving because she has 4 kids and no job. He makes close to 200,000 a year and maintains the insurance, income, etc. I have been talking to her to get employment.
28 years and still pretty messed up. God bless.
Another symptom of cptsd I suffer with is rumination. I ruminate about when will God humble the narc and when will they be in a situation of powerlessness. I just want some justice served up. I do know God says "Vengeance is mine" but I have to say I am very inpatient in seeing anything even the score till this day. Wish I could be indifferent and just not care at all.
I feel exactly the same way. It's comforting to know someone else gets it.
Tapestry Love, I understand wanting to see some "justice." Believe me, I totally get it. However, realize that they are ALREADY in a situation of powerlessness, because they basically cannot control their own minds, and consequently their lives. I have also noticed narcs do not realize what they lose when they lose someone from their lives because of their actions. They just don't get it. Also, I have seen it many times in my years that though I could think of bad things to happen to someone, the consequences they ultimately go through are WORSE BY FAR than anything I could have thought up in the first place. Also, often I hear about that person or situation sometimes years later and hear what happened to them and I am genuinely glad I "washed my hands" of it mentally and just moved on. What I am trying to say is that they will get theirs ultimately and it is better for us to just exit, not retaliating, and then we have NOTHING AT ALL to feel the LEAST bit bad about when we go to sleep at night. I hope this helps.
@@paulaneary3662 thank you. I would never take revenge it's just not me. I definitely can rest my head at night knowing I was a good person to this individual but they at the end were rotten and ruthless to the core to me. They currently are enjoying life to the fullest but of course it's all surface shit. Not one ounce of authenticity to it. I guess that is their punishment that they are a fraud and a fake and will never feel God's true inner peace that only He can give us.
The best thing to do is step away. Deal with your anger and want for revenge. It’s really important, because in a way, you’re still allowing them to control you. When you’re indifferent, you’ll make the best decisions for you and they won’t matter.
You are welcome. I know it's not really about revenge, it never was for me either. I don't want to hurt people no matter HOW much they have hurt me, and you know what? I LOVE that about myself. That's a great comfort to me also. Just knowing I have that type of self control. Though I may have thoughts that are askew at times I don't act on them. That is also why even though this is a terrible situation and I do get, o.k., I'll admit it, depressed, I know I would never do anything rash and hurt myself. You seem like a kind person, could you please pray for my son? I ask lots of people because I believe in the power of prayer, also I don't know what else to do for him. In the middle of my divorce at this time my son has a bad drug problem and it also stresses me out. If you could pray for him I would appreciate it. His name is Chandler. I am trying to claim God's peace in the situation but it is difficult so I just keep asking people to pray. I guess it helps me in a way. Thanks, and have a great evening dear.
Meditation helped me tremendously. So did no contact.
czcams.com/video/2mgUPt2KI08/video.html
"rage, panic, perfectionism" So right! Thank you.
👑💯
I have this. I've been recovery for 12 years...but mine is more like helplessness, sequestering myself in the house, fight or flight, panic attacks, fear
Don't be too hard on yourself. God says you are His BEAUTIFUL creation! Believe it and help others suffering from the same by lifting their spirits. In my case the "fight or flight" comes from very early childhood sexual abuse and grooming by a predator. This mindset probably comes from early trauma. But ALL THINGS are possible with GOD! Hang in there Dawn..JESUS LOVES YOU AND WILL NEVER ABANDON YOU...HE PROMISES and GOD cannot lie! HUGS ❤
I hope it gets better for you. I've always thought "I'm just broken inside" and wouldn't ever know why.
Dear Dawn, I have also felt the same things. I am still suffering and just want to sell my home and find a cabin in the mountains... for some reason I feel like I would be safer there. What are some of the things that have helped you heal?
I hope you're feeling better now, even if it's just a little. It's such an injustice to lose your freedom and life to past traumas, so very difficult to accept and process. You're not alone, hugs and blessings to you from another broken soul,,🙏❤️
Oh my god .. the anger symptom.. I thought I was going mad as I have been having full blown conversations with myself.. 🙈..
G H you’re not alone....I don’t have conversations with myself but arguments with other ppl by myself
i have been suffering with this for so long. it is terrible. I am arguing with myself constantly. it is destroying my life as much as the narcs did
I didn't realize this was a thing as I daily throughout the day have conversations with myself, like he's there and these are things I would say to him if that ever was allowed.
Me too! I've been ruminating to myself out loud about the past 3 years with this guy. Like being tough on myself about why I put up with his crap for so long. I've been waking up and thinking of him first thing. Ugh. I want to break free!
Yes, this has been me for years. Daily anger and rumination.
Anger but do not sin. To late for that. I just want to be healed and move on with my life.
I just watched a video by Richard Grannon about this. He dosen't like the term cptsd, so he came up with cptsr. The probelm for us who have been through this, is that we don't start healing until we're out of our prime. In our prime years is where we find our careers, the person we'll marry and kids with, and where we choose to live. For people like me, those years were taken from me.
I am now Watching Richard Grannon. He is comprehensive, very knowledgeable and easy to listen to. I like his suggestions on feeling the emotions and releasing them. I actually am remembering more things and it has only been a week working like this.
Daniel C I am a 70 year old Man who understands You completely. The SADNESS for us is what happened to Our Children. The DEVIL CONTAMINATES ALL TO CLOSE TO IT. Keep praying for strength, the fight is for SOULS.
It stole my entire life too--decades in the desert wilderness trying to sort it all out. I've overcome it, as symbolized by a nice house with a tall fence and locked gate. Incredibly high BOUNDARIES...each day is my own, everyone is vetted and then they're all on PROBATION forever.....the mark of a true leader I wager
You're right. We can't buy back time. Just make a choice not to waste anymore time.
It's never too late friend that is a lie from the pit of hell. You are already awesome if you even survived one of these evil spirits
I knew for years that there was something wrong with my wife. I couldn’t understand why she had changed in such a short time. I knew the term narcissist but didn’t understand the complexities of narcissism. I put up with constant put downs which was borderline verbal abuse. I had a heart attack 5 years ago and when I really needed some TLC and loving I was confronted with a clinical emotionless wife. I was appalled and subconsciously started to switch off which only seemed to fuel her anger which then started to get more verbally abusive. 3 years ago I told her I could see straight through her. Whoops! I had unveiled the mask and this stepped up the verbal abuse to chronic ( everyday). It became a challenge for me to get through a day without abuse but something would always trigger.
Then came the day when I had enough and exploded at her and called her every name under the sun.
I was hoping this might register with her that I was suffering but no it actually increased the abuse.
She had this incredible ability to trigger me so I would react and then she would cry foul. I withdrew even further and took to the bottle as it had become my only friend in the house (our two sons are away at school). She then would start triggering me after a few drinks hoping for a reaction so that she would cry I was an abusive alcoholic.
We separated 8 months ago (her call as I was hoping stupidly for her to change). I haven’t been able to have ONE rational conversation with her since without her twisting it to be all my fault.
I finally have gone no contact with her in early January and my life has changed so much for the better. She has a new fellow and you’d think they were already married (sex bombing). 6 months ago this would have just about killed me now I just laugh at her. I still have some down days but I am free and starting to feel liberated. I AM SO GLAD TO BE RID OF HER AND HER NARCISSISTIC FAMILY AS WELL. My only problem are the kids are still a mess as she has psychotic rages at them.
Still this is out of my control and despite everything the kids still love her (as I did). Time wii change everything and if I stay focussed life is a hell of lot better.
Wawww.. Strong you! The children need help tho.. They're suffering from her. No doubt about it.. Know about trauma bond too??
Been a year since your comment though, I hope things are even much better now.
Wow.. I genuinely hope everything worked out for you :)
You’re the narcissist and have projected it on her. You’re sick and need help.
I come from a narcissistic family and it sounds like you're handling it well. If you've gone this far, you should check out Rollo Tomasi and the Red Pill.
Congratulations
I know I have cptsd....I have been all over the place...its no joke...my ex narc was a brilliant manipulator..and huge liar...the stories he spun!! I had panic attacks early after discard...I still cant wrap my head around how and why these individuals operate this way...it blows my mind that people can use and abuse and have zip feeling about the destruction and hurt they cause...I was beyond anger...I considered voodoo and black magik against him..but in the light of day I didnt want to be like him...I fantasized about running him over with a car....lol...I didnt go into a field and primal screams!!! I let go and asked God to relieve me of this....hes answered my prayers it took a few months but I'm so on the road of recovery....I highly suggest that if you are involved with this type person...GET OUT!! GET AWAY!! LEAVE THEM ALONE!!!! They dont wont cant change!!! All your hope is for nothing...turn it to yourself! You matter and your a miracle and God meant you for you to be happy...not enslaved!!!!
Susan you sound like me from around a decade ago. Trust me, you do heal eventually. Be kind and patient with yourself while the damage slowly heals.
I feel your pain. I have moved away from my Narc but the divorce is dragging on. Mainly because of his personality disorder. He promises one thing and does another. His solicitor is cheesed off with him - imagine 25 years of marriage to him i responded! I am having counselling as I am struggling to get over this prolonged behaviour circus. I have been very angry and had shouting rages. I thought I was loosing the plot but now he is gone my life is so calm and peaceful beyond all belief. I regret spending 25 years with him now. I am dating new men at present and seeing a very different way of love and caring. It's a long journey but worth it. Life is good again.
I have had the same feelings and it was physically making me sick. I saw that he was the trigger to my illness and the reason I couldnt see my own self in the mirror. I even took my mirrors down so I wouldnt have to see the destruction of the hurricane that just blew threw my life again and now is gone leaving me in pieces lost alone and no one to cry to becuz my family and best of friends no longer talk to me becuz i would make excuses as to why I am still letting him in my life. They blamed me and wouldnt listen to me that I wanted to lbe free of the sick web of his life. I told them I didn't even like him I knew he was the most diabolical man but its not that easy . I tried to explain that before I BEGAN A NEW LIFE IN RECOVERY of my Bullimorxia and BDD my family and friends would say omg how hard is it to just lift food to ur mouth and eat. Your making it out to be a big deal or so much of a emotional war. Just eat and u will be all better. ITS NOT JUST THAT EAST TO BE CURED FROM ANY MENTAL ILLNESS OR DISORDER. ITS A BATTLE EVERY MIN EVERY HOUR EVERY DAY TO KEEP URSELF FREE OF NEG REPETITIVE SELF DOUBTING THOUGHTS AND THE MENTAL ABUSE THE NARC IN MY LIFE DID TRIGGERED ALL OF THE PAST ISSUES AND I AGAIN FELT FAT AND HE MUST BE EMBARRASSED OF ME THATS WHY I WASNT INVITED TO THE EVENT . IM A SIZE 0. I TRIED TO FIND MY FAULTS TO EXPLAIN HIS TREATMENT TOWARDS ME WHEN IT WAS A NEW SUPPLY NIGHT. WHEH IT WAS MY TURN TO BE HOOVERED OH I. WAS A SMOKEN HOT SUPER MODEL HE WAS SO LUCKY TO CALL HIS. LOL WHEN I SAW HIM AND I DIDNT HAVE THE BUTTERFLY IN MY BELLY OR WHEN HE WOULD HAVE ME PICK HIM UP FROM A SO CALLED BUSINESS TRIP AKA NEW OUT OF STATE SUPPLY. HE WOULD GREAT ME AT THE AIRPORT WITH A BIG SMILE AND OG HOW HE MISSED ALL OF ME AND LETS GET HOME FAST. I KNEW HE LIED TO MY FACE THEN AGAINST MY OWN BETTER JUDGEMENT I WAS INTIMATE WITH HIM. THE SECOND IT WAS DONE I RAN TO MY BATHROOM AND PUKED. SLEPT ON COUCH AND MAFE MY MISSON TO GET OUT PLAN. I DID IT. IT TOOK 1 YEAR OR HELL SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND LOTS OF PATCH WORK ON WALLS BUT IM 1 WEEK CLEAN FROM TOXIC DRUG IN MY LIFE CALLED A NARCISSIST. STAY FIRM
susan aune I feel the same.
"Pull me out of the net that they have laid privily for me: for Thou art my strength." Psalm 31:4
"My eyes are ever toward the Lord, For He shall pluck my feet out of the net. Psalm 25:15
"The LORD knoweth how to deliver the Godly out of temptations, and to reserve the unjust unto the Day of Judgment to be punished" 2Peter 2:9.
"Send thine hand from above; rid me, and deliver me out of great waters, from the hand of strange children; Whose mouth speaketh vanity, and their right hand is a right hand of falsehood." Psalm 144:7-8
"They hold fast to their evil purpose; they speak of hiding their snares. "Who will see them?" they say. Psalm 64:5
"The righteous will rejoice when he sees the vengeance; he will bathe his feet in the blood of the wicked." Psalm 58:10
My mom is a covert narcissist but I feel like the only people who can see that are my husband and my best friend. I've been dealing with narcissistic abuse my whole life, but my husband was one of the first people to really make me see my mom for who she is.
Glad you didn't marry one!! It's common to end up with one if you've suffered abuse in the family. He probably saved your life!!
You're blessed with that man, God is looking out for you. Cherish him🙏
Thank God! Both of my husbands are mother are narcs and of course i am the problem. But im finally learning.
Yes .... I suffered from this didn’t know exactly what was happening... It started about 4 months after I left the narc... what a difference a year makes... doing so much better 💪🏾
I think the worst part of trauma once the anger is under control, is the forgetfulness and the brain farts. Forgetting topics mid sentence. So aggravating 🙄
czcams.com/video/5suk18vF3ZA/video.html
Yup. Brain fog and trouble finding words 😞
Yes. I previously was an astute listening and I find myself just zoning out on people. Also forget things when I'm talking... it's frustrating
Yes😑
Very, very true!
It was 18 months after a brutal discard that I started to 'physically' experience CPTSD. Because I am ex military the CPTSD triggered my PTSD where I went into melt down. I have been through 3 professional psychologists/counsellors and none of them spotted the Narcissistic abuse. It's NOT their fault but what I am saying is you need to see someone who knows what you have been through..
YES‼️PTSD & CTPRD‼️I Just Breakdown Down & Cry! 😢😭❤️🩹
Many mental health professionals don't know how to accommodate betrayal trauma let alone narcissistic abuse without medications
Please get a book called "Feeling Good" and things on ' Mindfulness '. I have been through years of therapy for Complex PTSD after a life of narcissistic abuse where I was almost killed physically and my spirit with words. Choose to tell yourself you are not a victim (yes I know that sounds weird). When panic attacks occur count colors you see, folds in draperies ... anything to get you mind to distract. Get out of the immediate environment if only for a moment. I'm a university teacher and X was the same occupation. In front of everyone it looked great. Underneath, it was h%ll.
Great suggestions!
Meditating on God's word and speaking with lovely like minded people is very healing. God has given us His word to cleanse us from these things.
Gwendolyn Wehage amen
Gwendolyn Wehage 👍
But he let's babies with brain damage be born? Be logically, their is no God. It's just a nice fairytale.
Amen this so truth we have to deal with like minded people this couldn't been said any better there is healing in the word God Bless
@@seanh1988 lots of bad things happen but they are not God's fault, it's the world we live in. God help me though lots of stuff. Ask God if He is real. Dare you. It might just blow your mind.
me too. im hypervigualant.
+Raman D I agree Raman.
Me too
I'm crying my eyes out! I relate purely. It's been 20yrs since I left him and I'm just now realizing THIS is what's been wrong with me. I was diagnosed Bi Polar when I left him. I now believe it could be a mis diagnoses🤔 Even worse I met him when I was 16 and he was 28 he had immediate control. I stayed for 10yrs before I FINALLY left.
Thank you for this video. Panic attacks I experienced went from external (short of breathe and racing heart and shaky hands) then went to internal (felt like a heart attack or stroke, even had all the symptoms).
Truly scary stuff.
I like what you said, i feel like my head is going to explode. She's hoovering because holidays are coming. Every time i think its done, its not
@@sandrasheldon8070 so sorry to hear that you are going through this; that is normally what narcissists do during the holidays. While we are out celebrating with our friends and family, they are sitting somewhere stalking us with malicious thoughts about us in their quadruple minds. The Hoover is completely fake. Whatever they are saying outwardly is completely opposite of what they are thinking inwardly.
We stay away for our own health and sanity; they will never ever understand this and no amount of explaining or reasoning will ever be enough for them. Much like a criminal mindset; they want what they want and don't care who they hurt or what they have to do to get the thing that they want. The thing being their victim. But we are survivors now, they going to have to eventually realize that a survivor doesn't tolerate gratuitous abuse from anyone. It's very sad on their part. They will never see just how evil they are, they will always blame everyone for their own mistakes and missed opportunities, they will never heal from their narcissism.
We as survivors, eventually heal from the trauma. Hoovering is also a way they try to reestablish control over our minds.
I hope that you are well and on your way to a full recovery.
I hope and pray every day that more and more people will wake up and be set free from abuse.
Peace be with you
Yes! I have never had a panic attack when I broke it off with a person. This stuff is crazy!
@@wonderfullymade5191 help, me too!
@@akint29 really start loving on yourself, you are so important! Love yourself!
It's the raging anger with me. I drive a lot. I can be fine then I have a flash back to a past incident and I can go off on myself as I relive the past in my head. You see this made me feel like I was part of the problem because of this. Now I know it's normal. Thank you for helping me understand I'm not a monster....I dealing with the abuse that's been inflicted on me in this marriage...
Nope, your not alone. It takes a while for all that to work itself out.
@@TheRoyalWe Time heals all wounds. I looking forward for this to heal and move on...I'm 57 and I see what time I have left in life. I want to go out with a smile...😊
I didn't know what to call the roller-coaster feeling I've always felt..like I'm falling and can't stop falling until I take several deep breaths...As far a perfection goes, I don't start and stop but I am irritable when things aren't "right enough"....I've lost it sooo many times I'm ashamed. I hate what this has done in my life, all Satan has stolen from me...but I thank God for his Grace and Mercy and Healing!
I developed Multiple Sclerosis, I believe as a result of the chronic abuse of my narcissistic partner. I live in horrible pain and just want to die. He twisted everything around. He lived in my house, I held a job, he was nothing but excuses! Now he's homeless and blames me because I won't support him anymore!?!? He abandoned his two kids, no one will take him in because he's a drug addict and steals from everyone! It's ally fault though...I'm so messed up mentally, I don't want to be alive anymore. This is so bizzare, I have no one to talk to. Could I really call you?
Anyez Elle your not alone it’s been so long 27 years it’s actually due to not knowing what was happening it’s begun to effect me physically my blood works not right either I know it’s because of the constant stress I 100% believe it can cause serious physical changes in your body over time for sure I hope your healing my friend it’s a very hard thing to. Go through
I was with a narcissist for 22 years, also developed multiple sclerosis. I also believe it was due to the toxic relationship. I had to save myself, I have been in therapy for this and I am still healing. It takes time but know that it's worth it .
Hang in there sweetheart! Jesus loves YOU and promises to never abandon you! Sending you a huge Hug and one day you will get that embrace from Jesus that most of us deeply long for. ❤
After going no contact with my “dysfunctional”family that I was forced into as a teenager who have to “obey” the narcissist.. I experienced panic attacks for the first time.. also I discovered what the “rollercoaster” emotion was for the first time! At least I had my sister by my side who too was going no contact with the family. After 20 years we finally said no more for our own kids sake! We “pretended” to be brainwashed for too long to protect our mothers feeling and family’s reputation.
I have CPTSD from my ex I'm recovering slowly but surely by the Grace of God 🙏🙏🙏
Binge watching your videos , you have this narc abuse nailed !
Thank you for your time and effort that you put in to making people's lives better ❤
You literally changed my whole life man. I never knew what the fuck was wrong with me. I thought I was just going crazy but now I understand !!! This helped a lot bro, keep doing what you’re doing 💯
Yell outside ? Lol, the nieghbors would call the white padded truck. Lol. Thank you for this info though. Good comments too
Hahaha, you’re right.
Our neighbors never called..
I'dve welcomed the white coats coming to take me away tee hee ha ha...
Honesty, Openmindedness, and Willingness??
Yes.. That IS HOW!
Can't drink water or talk when I get the panic attack that stiffens my neck and closes my throat. I try to focus on my breathing. Some episodes are 5-10 minutes. Scary... I also get tremors episodes. Thank you for sharing this information. Blessings🙏
That's exactly what I've experienced to, for years.. I hope you can get to a place where your body/ mind/spirit relaxes and recovers from all that abuse. ❤️🙏
These videos have helped me so much. I didn’t know at the time of the relationship that I was with a narcissist. But the signs and the thoughts and experiences you explain- they were all there. For 2 years after the relationship I felt like I couldn’t move on because I didn’t know exactly what happened. I started having panic attacks and severe anger. My mother thought I was going to give myself an aneurism. Now I know I’m experiencing cptsd and that yes I dated a narcissist. It feels so good to understand and identify what happened to me. Because after the relationship he made me feel crazy and like I was upset for no reason. I’m so thankful for your videos. Much love
I did something really weird. Once he was gone about a month and i was completely on my own again i would be driving down the road, bust out crying very hard for 5 minutes, then and laugh uncontrollably for 5 minutes , then go back to completely normal acting . It was the weirdest thing ever! It happened for about 3 months l and then stopped ; )
When I first got divorced after 20 years of narc abuse,I thought I was having heart attacks,I use to drive myself to a&e, multiple times,I'd sweat,pins and needles,my chest would tighten and my breathing was awful and I couldn't swallow it is terrifying!I got the all clear all the time,but noone said it was panic attacks,I still suffer 14 years later,I know what they now because of learning all about narcs and the effects it has on you I love yr video
Just got out of 1,
Really dodged a bullet!
Thank God for His
Grace & Mercy ✝️🙏🏽
Geezz.. You're fresh out of it.. Congratulations, you made it. I'm happy for you.. And I wish you the best! ❤
Wow....so many symptoms. Can't wait for your course! Working with a counselor, but she's open to extras and anything I can get my hands on to help heal from 2 Narc abuse marriages and a narc parent. Feels like I need to release an entire lifetime of shame and self hatred from people who said "I love you" but meant "I hate you, I'm jealous of you, I hate myself therefore you need to be the one punished"..... Thank you for all these videos!!! May God in turn, heal you too!! Peace Love and Light to you, Kevin.
+Margaret H thank you so much I receive your blessing. I'll keep you posted with the release of the course
Once I realized I was in an abusive relationship for 17 years and that I was done, my anxiety increased to the point of being unable to sleep for weeks as I planned my fearful escape. Once he was out of my home, I still could not sleep and my fear magnified to the point of psychosis. I was hospitalized for a break down which I refer to a break through where I finally spoke my truth. This man was so manipulative, evil and violent. He’s gone now but my kids are suffering and very sadly I’m experiencing parental alienation from my oldest who sees me through the eyes of his narcissistic step father. My emotional well being is so much better today but it took years. Kundalini yoga helped and there are moving meditations specific for anger which really helped a lot. To anyone out there in an abusive relationship get out ASAP. The narcissist will never change.
Yup. Run away like Satan is chasing you, because IT is...
Thank you! After 70 year finely understand that there is no other way then NO CONTACT! I am taking my voice back. And the other person had to let me go ❤
Have anxiety anyway, this was amplified 10 fold, should never have told him I suffered from this, because all of a sudden that was the cause of all our problems. I did get angry because he would bait me and nag about the smallest things that really didn't matter. Tell me how I was feeling, what I should have said, how I should have said it and ask what I could have done to make things better!? WTF I would say don't be an a hole....that was it, all hell would break loose. I felt like I couldn't stick up for myself. I felt like he was having a relationship with himself through me. OMG sooooo glad I got out, the fourth and last time...lesson learnt!
Well mine is an ahole... and aspires one day to be a pos
Yeah mine used to do that too--nag and bait, and create lies that id correct him on, then before i even got mad hed tell me i have anger issues. He never saw me mad, but now...yrs later, im having these rage episodes😔
@@sunshines4555🤣
I had them when I was with the N/BPD. I went to the batting cages and beat up some baseballs envisioning his face as the ball, then I continued to envision the balls as every lie, rejection, manipulation, abandonment, false accusation and degrading word and as I smashed the baseballs I envisioned all these lies, The Lie, the relationshit was destroyed never to plague me again disintegrating into the air. Very empowering. My friend didn't know that's what I was doing but it was a great release!!!
I am a kind woman, but if that creeper ever catches me unaware and calls again I now have the strength to hang up the phone. Yay!!!
@@rachelsinnott9999 Good on you and look out everyone because the kind ones, like me and you, who've been used and abused, aren't taking it anymore! ❤
so glad I got out
Me tooooo 👌
Same as well as cut my mother out of my life. Wish I had done it sooner, before the emotional wounds cut deeper.
I agree with the last two suggestions, the peaceful, calming solutions: self- soothing self-talk and grounding, and the do it & let it go. I don't think it's ever okay to feel or release anger onto self or others. With mindfulness, anger can be by-passed altogether by changing angry, irritable thoughts to peaceful, positive, power-thoughts. That's true dominion over one's mind. You are either a master or a slave to your own thoughts. You have the power. You choose. Thanks for your thought-provoking videos.
@@maze6797 "I don't think it's ever okay to feel or release anger onto self or others." We do this because for some reason we aren't taught to just say "You said this or did that and I feel angry in response to it." This is what we need to learn to do. Even if the other person denies it or doesn't see it or doesn't care. We still need to say it because it's our truth and it's the healthy way to handle it.
I had those symptoms, I went thru sadness and extreme guilt until I learned what he was ! Then I got very angry..then i would go from crying hard for 5 minutes then laughing uncontrollable for 5 minutes, then I would be normal! I did have panic attacks as work and would leave with no warning to my boss ! I am 6 month no contact, divorcing and doing wonderful !! Thank you Kevin for all your help
💯👑
Thank you Kevin! Your videos are awesome! More than good enough!
Disassociative Anger! Thank you for that definition! I was yelling and screaming at nobody that was there for such a long time. I think I did allow myself to have it and I talked openly about it with people in a support group. I think that helped me tremendously. But you actually have a name for it that I can see now and that name is extremely helpful. So thank you for that! And yes, I am still struggling with that obsessive perfectionism. I learned I wasn't good enough all the way back to my childhood for my narcissistic mother. That's great advice! Just do something and let it go. God bless you and much love!
I can relate to this too.
I am 2 years late to the party and still getting stronger and clearer with every minute. AUTHENTIC doesn't need perfection
Just want to thank you for sharing such simple explanations of what it is that post narcissistic abuse trauma sufferers can experience and the knowledge that we survivors know the effects. I really enjoy your take on C-PTSD symptoms and how we can take control ourselves. I’m very grateful, thank you. I am three years no contact after a 28 year marriage to a cruel narcissist.
My office gave me this and depression. They work place bullyed me. It's the natomas office in Sacramento...california dept of public health. The managers name is arlene kihara, supervisor loretta duncan-fowler. They spread rumors
Thank you for this
I've been raging on and off for 2years
My narc lives next door
I sing songs about the abuse lol
I draw cartoons depicting abusive episodes lol
It's insane but sane
Haha my friend and I made up a song about "pod people"...that's what I call narcissists.
Narc neighbours hmm... same here Lara Parks!! It's good to hear you've kept your sense of humour through it all. I'd lost mine till lately, just started a few selfcare and distancing strategies like using dryer for white noise, pretending it's dogs barking, slow deep belly breathing, mindfullness and lots of very long walks snd outings!! I dream of them moving out different ways to various places humourously every night haha with the aim of manifesting this one day soon!! 🙏
@@louisegarner8888 LoL 😂 ☮️ 2u
Lara Parks I hope you can move as it's unhealthy to live so close to your abuser.
It seems we all come up with creative solutions and strategies for maintaining our sanity. Thanks for sharing.
I felt like I was loosing my mind until this video. I still wake up crying in my sleep from thinking about his dragging me by my hair.
The best way I dealt with this anger was to get it out while driving on the freeway. I rolled up my windows and told my narcissistic mother and siblings exactly what I thought of them until I got it all out of my system. Sometimes I had to do this at home in my pillow. I just can't believe they get us to this point until we finally go NC with them. It's sickening!
Yeah and then you're supposedly the crazy one for feeling this way even though it was brought on by the narcissist. Geez.
Miriam B. EXACTLY!!!
You might be interested in Toxic Parents and Mothers Who Can't Love by Susan Forward.
@@newmamaful: Thanks, that might help someone who's just now going through this. I went through the anger stage 11 years ago, and the rage was unbelievable. I fantasized grabbing my narc mother by the throat, slamming her head against the wall, and choking her until blood spurted out of her mouth. She's lucky I'm NOT crazy -- or I would have done it for real. I'm 7 years NC with her now, and I finally have peace in my life.
@@elizabethd.2398 Their smugness and playing the victimized martyr really makes you want to smash their face in. I have the same kind of "mother".....I've also been no contact since 2014. She turned my entire family against me, father, sibling, cousins, aunts uncles etc on both sides. The preliminary smearing had been going on since I was a toddler but I didn't realize it until I tried to expose her before going no contact. That's when I also rudely awakened to the fact that none of them cared about me either. My dad was also abused but he was a coward and did a lot of her dirty work to try and avoid her abuse. He enabled her rather than standing up to her. He projected his anger at her onto me, while I on the other hand, took up for him, even though I didn't know about narcissism. I knew he was being mistreated and disrespected. And my only sibling, a younger brother, idolized her and became her "son husband".....The only 2 people who truly loved me were already deceased (my paternal grandparents). The rest just faked it until they were gone to ensure they got the inheritance. I ended up with nothing. But I have Jesus and He will be my inheritance.
Grounding. I hold a piece of ice when I feel a panic attack coming on. It works.
God bless you. Were in the last days. Repent and believe in the gospel while theres time. czcams.com/video/5suk18vF3ZA/video.html
Marlene Welch,You are absolutely gorgeous 🌷🌹🌹🌷,hope you are not with a narc 😈!!
Hi Kevin I have CPTSD. I'm gonna watch this video.
Anger controls me way too much lately : even thoung i let it out and scream to god when alone... Im so Crazy..and im so tired.
I just made a video about the anger. I get it
Had some scary debilitating panic attacks and what helped me was calling a assaulted women help line to get me through it also calling a close friend to just be there through it helps the Lord is always with us during those symptoms of CPtsd be happy we are out and forgive as we are already forgiven. I hope to get back into my art slowly healing and working in all of these symptoms. Just take it moment to moment. Your never alone in this🔥🙏🏼❤️
My issue is that I have had to bottle up my pain. Hiding it all from my family. All this secrecy is such a challenge.
There is no need to bottle it up anymore. We are here and you are not alone 💯🙌👑❤️
Expertly explained! Eventually my screaming turned into singing! What sweet payback! Thank you again!
I also experienced agoraphobia, derealisation and dissociation. Been with narcissists my entire life (20 years). Both my parents are covert narcissistic psychopaths. My ex is too. I went no contact this year and the consequences are so extreme. I got hospitalized and it completely destroyed my spirit and life. I've lost everything. Its truly the most difficult thing to deal with.
It was natural for me to calm myself down with water, as sometimes I’ve felt a lump in my throat, which can make it hard to talk.
Thank you for permission to be
mad at God, Kevin. Nobody has ever said
it's okay. They usually just make me
feel like it's a really bad place for me to be,
to be mad at God. The past several months
I have the palpitations. I have the feeling
of not being able to swallow, I spit the water
or other drink out sometimes. It hits me randomly.
It can be pretty scary. But not as scary as the first
panic attack I had when I was first on a channel
talking about the abuse. I thought I was having an
asthma attack. This is an awesome video. Thank you
so much.
It's ok to be mad, I am very mad at God too. God understands and God forgives. I promise you wholeheartedly. You have every right to be angry. It is very important to own these feelings (no matter how intense, dark or violent they are).
I was exposed to narcissistic abuse from an early age on and that has a way of disconnecting us from ourself, others, life and whatever our understanding is of a higher power.
Miriam B. This is a very sweet, nice, supportive comment.
It helps me. Thank you!
God knows how we feel even before we feel it. God understands. I've been sorry and repented being angry at God. Don't keep guilt and shame over it. God can handle it. He does'nt want you feeling guilt. Guilt comes from saten.
I know exactly how you feel. When I first started having panic attacks and hearing things that weren't there; that's when i became very frustrated at God.
Don't blame God. God gives us free will. Job had his family destroyed by Satan, yet , in Job 1:22, In all this Job sinned not, not charged God foolishly.
It's hard to accept, but we let these maniacs into our lives without proper questioning and discernment. I ruined my own life by turning it over to a Satan. Now that the Hell is over, I am very careful who is in my life. The days are evil, as Jesus said.
I've known for a while I have cptsd from domestic violence . . . But almost every resource assumes that you have cptsd from childhood abuse. This was a fifteen year marriage . . . Undiagnosed after the divorce, it got worse over time not better. Thank you for acknowledging this. I cried tears of relief after watching, because I relate to all three: anger, panic, perfectionism. Oh how I want to heal at last!
Absolute gratitude! Thank you for the information. I have suffered horrifying narcissistic abuse at the hands of my mother. I never understood why I had so much rage which almost destroyed me and my family. I am in the process of healing and I thank God for people like you who take the time to do such videos so that people like me can know the truth and be set free. Truly many perish due to lack of knowledge!
God bless you mightily!
OMG me too!! She always told me I had anger issues, even took me to different psychologists and made me take antidepressants in an effort to control me growing up. Smh I wish I had learned this sooo much sooner!
Hey Kevin I just want to let you know you have very good presentation in your videos you get my attention you’re very focused so don’t stress over it you’re doing a great job thank you
And just when I thought I was the only one having those symptoms I found this video!! Thank you
I was diagnosed with C-ptsd back in 2009 but my phycologist told me that even though I was going through narcissistic abuse then because I went through traumatic experiences and mental and emotional abuse when I was just a child she said I probably had it sense I was just a little girl im 51 now and 45 years of that was spent going through abuse and traumatic experiences!!!!!!!
Thank you Kevin for your videos on narcissistic abuse they have been very helpful on my learning how to regain my inner peace and slowly learning how to trust again after years / decades worth of experiencing narrasistic abuse and traumatic experiences
Pain in my heart for 65 years is becoming physical.
Youve opened my eyes...i was in and out of a narcissistic relationship, i didnt realize things were toxic until years later. Thank you
This was great Kevin!!
Thank u so much for ur time, insight and sharing strategies to help deal/heal this.
🌬🙏🏻💗🙂 🙌🏻🌝✨
Please keep doing these videos...I am at the PTSD point after an 18 yr marriage to a narcissist/ psychopath...Your videos have helped me walk through the healing process for the past year and I am still putting one foot in front of the other every day like many others. God bless you for sharing!💞
I had to watch this twice. I couldn’t take it in. It was too honest and so relative. You are the real deal.
Such an important subject, Kevin! You bless us with your experience.
Great video! I used to rage in the car on the way to work. It has diminished over time but every once in awhile it comes up where I vent in the car as if I'm screaming and complaining to someone else in the car about the actions of the narc. Thank God we have cell phones these days or peeps would think I was nuts in the car arguing alone. Lol!
It's alright to vent. God bless you.
That's why I like them bad boys!!!! I just tried to earn my mothers love!!! At 32yrs old my dad finally told me he did not know why my mother hates me... But I'n my teen years I had a cedar chest handed down to me.... Mommy referred it to me as my hopeless chest. I didn't understand my future was hopeless till I got there!!!
All my family except for my brother after me(there are 3) and myself Loves her.. So yep I was isolated all the time.. The bunny in my profile pic is my buddy!!!!! He actually belongs to my 12 yr old daughter and she specifically told me " don't let my bunny die while I'm gone". He is my grandbunny and I love him so much!!!!!
Kevin thank you with all my heart!!!!!!!
remember, narcassists are people too, they develop the narcassistic personality type as a way to "cope" with abuse. the more severe or prolonged the abuse, the more severe the symptoms. most of the time they are far away from reality which is why its so easy for them to lie to you. they suffer greatly from delusional thinking and self hatred even if they wont admit it or aren't aware themselves. my mother is a narc who hurt me most, its hard to forgive her and move on but i have to remember this way she acts was trained into her from the terrible childhood she had. i think being aware of the fact that most of the time narcassists aren't purposely being malicious has somewhat helped me move on. she tried to be a good mother in the strangest ways possible, i know her intention was never bad she was just lost in her own world and couldn't see outside of it.
Yes, breathing, focusing on your breath. Listen to Ted talks on
breathing!
God bless you. czcams.com/video/5suk18vF3ZA/video.html
Yes yes panic attack is serious !!! I went to the hospital recently , had a panic attack while at work and I felt like I was gonna faint . Went to the hospital and they checked me and my blood work was good . Thank you for ya advice
+Shara London your not alone
Awesome video! I have all the symptoms. Bless you Kevin. Praying for everyone to feel better and get themselves back. Thank you!
Awesome video Kevin! Thank you for sharing ❤
Oh my!!! I had no clue all these feelings were a component of C-PTSD.. the mental arguments lol I laugh now but still comes in waves..am glad am clearing it out!! Thank you for your work!!
I know I have this condition and I already have chronic PTSD, 3 narcissists in a row, first one I was in relationship with him for 4 years, this put me in a transition house twice. Death threats. and constant flight or fight. 2nd one was 'a friend' who hid her nature until she saw my new man, then she discarded her 10 year relation ship and kept him in the house, and started a smear campaign in the little town that I live in. My new friend and partner was in a fragile transition so, she played him and me, she also constructed a story for the RCMP, so I had nowhere to turn. My partner turned away from me and to the female narcissist and so he became one and lost his soul which he says is all my fault. I am an empath on top of all of this. Said all that to say, I do get enraged but, I seem to be able to point it in the right direction. Although, it is anti'social. I am very depressed, sometimes the house smells and the cat suffers with her dirty box and ingrown nails. I believe the 3 strike law is in affect because it feels like a lifestyle.
Once again very helpful. Out of the 3 issues it's anger for me ! Thank u so much Mr Royal We ! 🤗
Thank You!
Best advice ever.
Simple, yet encompassing it all.
Mine was not contained - it was dissasociative - yes I fought with myself - omg - I did this - it was in my head - when I hiked - yes panic attacks - dizziness?
czcams.com/video/5suk18vF3ZA/video.html
You have a really healing voice and great way of speaking. Thank you for this! Thinking of sharing this with my family as I heal from cptsd from narcissistic abuse.
Thank you 👑💯🙌
Thanks Kevin for the video and your honesty. Keep going brother.
I feel so relieved now that I've seen this video! I was scared I was looking it! Thank your for your role model and guidance! Your friend, Ann
I enjoy the mantra...Perfect Enough
This is really helpful. I'd never even heard about C-PTSD before your video. I have been telling people that my anxiety, insomnia and chronic digestive issues are related to PTSD, but that it's not from just one moment necessarily. It's from a series of events building up over my lifetime in which I've come to be on high alert always waiting for the next shoe to drop. It's a difficult way to live and it's so hard to get across to therapists and other people. People think PTSD is something that only survivors of heavily violent trauma suffer from. I have been in numerous car wrecks (walked way from all), in the abyss with a few narcissists, victim of armed robbery, in situations where I was being disrespected and knew it but didn't know how to react and therefore bottled my emotions. It has lead to alcohol abuse and dependence on pharmaceuticals, which don't really help the problem. But they have been necessary for sleep at times. Can't go to work if I can't sleep several nights in a row. Can't make money to afford my bills if I can't go to work. I do speak to myself all the time and often I rehash conversations that I wish would have happened or at least I re-invent what I wish I would have said. I always thought I was nuts! But it helps me get rid of the anger. Though I think screaming a big ol' f u out into the street at night is more effective! Thank you!
Just found your channel a week ago. Thought I knew a lot about a Narcissist & the effects of it but you have really taught me so much more!!! Thank you!!!
Your videos are amazing .. you hit the nail on the head. I have been in denial for far too long. You have shone the light now and I hope to heal with the help of your videos, especially regarding associating with Narcassists, probably most of my life and is has just now come to a head thanks to you Kevin.
I have suffered a narcissistic mother, a sister, my colleagues at work hmm now am jobless , the friends I loved and cared for, my fiance, people at church and elders. ....
I nolonger have hope.....
I can't find words to say in prayer.
Narcissistic abuse🙌🙌 won bcoz wereva I turn i meet a narcissist....
+WiFi princess I know right where you're at. And it's right where you're supposed to be. This is where your eyes are opening. Allow these things to transform you and to understanding more about the world you live in
You don't have to know the words. Sit in silence and practice the presence of God. Information will come to you. Listen to your intuition. Forgive yourself and go forward.
"When my father and my mother forsake me, the Lord will take me up." Psalm 27:10
"Many a time have they afflicted me from my youth: yet they have not prevailed against me.
The plowers plowed upon my back: they made long their furrows. The Lord is righteous: He hath cut asunder the cords of the wicked." Psalm 129:2-4
"I have become a stranger to my brothers, And an alien to my mother's children.." Psalm 69:8-9
Your awesome, thank you for getting this extremely important information out there! 👍
👑💯
THANK YOU KEVIN FOR SUCH IMPORTANT INFORMATION.❤
I have it and also am a violent domestic abuse survivor. I was easily abused physically by my boyfriend as a teen because, I isolated myself from home trying to get away from the narcissistic abuse of my mother, and my Dad wasn’t really available due to his covert narcissism and also him being a scapegoat of my moms malicious narcissist habits until she left the state with me. Now I am 32 and have intense CPTSD and am trying to figure out how to have or not have a relationship with them. I suffered chronic panic attacks for years and worked out of that. But still have CPTSD. Thank you for this video!! I am intensely perfectionist and noticed I finish most things at 80% (almost a self sabotage) so am working on staying accountable and finishing fully!! I got a service dog last summer and it really helps. She hasn’t even had full panic attack training but her just being with me I have not had any panic attacks or thoughts of suicide since adopting her because I want to make sure she is OK so I don’t go there anymore. ❤️
Intense negative ruminations.
Thanks Kevin I was diagnosed C.p.t.s.d back in 2010 ,due to childhood history, thanks for your help bud in understanding how to deal with this issue. Kind regards J from the U.K.
I love your information, transparency, and the little one's intervention
Thank you for this video!! I am relieved that I am not the only person who was feeling this way while I was under the Abuse and after that.
hi thanks very helpful video. The panic attacks are getting better more under control and letting go of things not perfect also kind of still working on that. I will try your advices hopefully will help me in getting better everyday. You are right prolong exposure to a toxic relationship causes this nomal reactions. Thanks
omg! it is cptsd😞😞😞the panick attacks!!!....😞😞
+lals and elbaed remember it's manageable
Thank you again Kevin for your words and your videos.
Love the intro song and background vocals. Hi Kevin. Thanks so much man!