“They will know how to set you up so you look like the bad guy.” They do that regardless of how you behave. Regardless. Ignore. Don’t ignore. These psychos just change their tactics as they go along. No contact is the only way to get your life back.
@@Lifewiththeemartinarenee😂😂😂This is so true and accurate yet sad, the visuals of running with no brakes is hilarious. Thanks for the laugh, I needed it! ❤
I totally disagree. You absolutely need to cut all ties and completely cut them out of your life. Sometimes it takes years before they stop trying to contact you. You have to be strong & resolute act as if they are dead to you. It is the only way you will survive. Because anytime you answer a call, an email a text you risk starting that cicle all over again. Every time you open that just a tiny crack he will come for you & try to get you back. They aren’t capable of any kind of normal conversation. You can not control anything about a narcissistic person. Narcissistic people are so dangerous and they seek to destroy you while they feed there own ego & delusions. Seek therapy after but you need to save your life and recover your mind and your spirit - the very parts of you he has always tried to destroy. So please save your life!!!! You are worth it!!!
I don’t care how people see me at this point. After being abused by my parents my whole life: People who believe smear campaigns are part of the problem too
Couldn't give a damn if it makes me look like the bad person by cutting them out of my life. I am totally desensitised to any abuse they give. If they do not respect my boundaries, I am taking out a restraining order. I am done.
I disagree, I’m a sigma empath,discovered this while in therapy. I had my Narc become totally unhinged, once I discovered what he was and that he was mind screwing me for the sheer sport of it. You have to mirror the Narc traits back on them. It’s like a game of chess, and you have to be able to turn off ur empathy and emotion. I’ve done this to several coverts. I was raised by narcs. A covert and an overt, however spent a great deal of time with very nurturing loving grandparents. Very stable people.
I find so many that say “i understand you're angry/upset..“ when i inform them, usually when there is some smalll situation that "fits" my "decision" that i am aware of ehatvthey are OR that they have crossed the line or too many red flags to risk it...the funny part is: My reply is " No, i am NOT angry or upset, just setting a boundary"... And the truth is that i am not angry or upset... There might be a small sense of "grief" over recognition that whatever friendship or potential to be a positive person in or around them/their life is no longer ... but then again, i seem to be starting from a standpoint of: everyone is a narcissist and i just haven't identified that they are, not recognized the "type" of Narcissist... And unfortunately in today's world the levelbof EGO,/narcissism is so high that it seems everyone is... Or if they are a codependent/SLDD that they have "imprinted/mirrored" narcissism as a survival mechanism/behavior..mand i don't have time, NOR is it my job to "rescue" others... That part of my codependency is mostly healed from my view...but i observe myself/my behavior with a suspicious eye and investigate my motivation/inner child coping to see the status often...
You did a video on this before- would you be able to link it in the comments? You said to think in your head, it’s a mental illness- “that’s just mom being mom”- it was super helpful!
Even if you don't go no contact and narcissus is already going behind your back and spreading malicious lies about you two people that you would never expect
Very eyeopening. Thank you. It is so difficult because he is (a covert one) succeeding in making me the bad one to all his friends and family😢. I have to accept this 😢
I have a narc friend at church who I want to disconnect with but also not cause her to do what they do. I’m sure she will probably go to the pastor like a victim but I’m just trying to be too busy I’m not trying to call out all her narc behavior. I’m just trying to fade out.
Than what are you supposed to do? Anything I say or do is an attack on me. If I have communication of any kind, anything I say, I am triangulated against, slandered and they turn people against me anyway... 😢
Um,,, I had a psychotic breakdown after- I couldn’t distinguish fantasy from reality. Then I ran into a psychiatrist who was an even worse narcissist. I didn’t know what the word meant then. FTW
Thank you..yes I was completely quiet cause wasnt sure how to talk to them but we can still talk but keep it simple and keep emotions out of it. Mundane boring things, you got mail its on the counter. Dont get upset. Grey rock. Dont give them supply, dont let them know what they are doing bothers you.
I disagree. Being worried about what others think of you, is exactly what the narc wants, which is still them manipulating you. Just wish them well and move on.
Don’t really agree with this done your method and he still complained so I just completely ignored him- never felt so free - no matter what as long as they are not getting the 4S supply sex service safety they will forever bad mouth you so take your peace and blank them
Do you not know what grey rocking is or no contact for that matter? They act crazy no matter what method you use so idk what the point of this video was
Sorry, but I disagree entirely. No contact is the only efffective way to break free. Trust me, I had done everything under the sun to make it work and it just wasn't. Please tell me the trauma you encountered when you thought you were going to approach your narc when you tried to sit them down and say you want to end the relationship? As a normal person who once loved this monster, you wish that you could go on peacefully and hope you both leave on good terms. IT WILL 99.9% blow up in your face as this causes a narcissist to experience collapse and they will make sure you regret it. You cannot have a decent and adult conversation with someone with NPD and if they are agreeing, if they are saying they will change, when they start to feel remorse for all the things they stole from you, all the lies you found out and probably only a mere glimpse into their rabbit hole of cheating....RUN. If you are serious (and you need to be serious), go no contact. Muster up the courage and strength within you to finally let them go. They will fight, they will threaten, they will say the most diabolical things to try and hurt you. So if you feel guilty leaving the narcissist, go back and be with them and work on your courage to go. You will relapse because we are addicted to them, but if you discard them, and you come back after a hoover, the narc will lose their microscopic amount of respect for you that they had and they won. If you are a nice and empathetic person, you may want to say something letting them know you are done with the relationship and to not contact them ever again, you lose some power by sharing your vulnerabilities, giving them supply. Even cursing at them over text gives them supply. Any interaction with you during a discard or hoover gives them supply. You will make mistakes, I don't even know how many times ive been through this cycle myself but each time I went back it got worse. Now they be texting talking about how they wish my father cancer and hopes that they can buy my father a tombstone when he dies just so they have a decent place to take a piss. Go an never look back. You know what they are, you know you deserve better. Get your supports together, talk to your employer about what is happening (nutshell version) and whatever else you need because you are in for a fight. Once you feel like you finally got rid of them, a narcs gift keeps on giving because now youre humiliated and depressed on how long you let this POS use, abuse and ruin your life. If the narcissist keeps coming back to you its because you are premium quality supply that they want to keep hold of. If youre narc is particularly psychotic and/or violent go low contact. Keep them unblocked on your phone only and dont respond to the hoover attempts. Why? Because they are absolutely nuts and will find other and more creative ways to get your attention.
So what you’re saying is ignoring them for your own well-being is wrong because you should care about the smear campaign more? I’m sorry, but I don’t think this is great advice.
“They will know how to set you up so you look like the bad guy.”
They do that regardless of how you behave. Regardless. Ignore. Don’t ignore. These psychos just change their tactics as they go along.
No contact is the only way to get your life back.
Truth✅
@@mynewlife1911yep
Yup
Exactly! I tried that and it got worse, no contact from is the only way for these soulless entities!
Amen
Naw, I’m ignoring them. That’s the best way…period.
Literally go 90 mph in the OPPOSITE direction.
@@princellasmith7562 Exactly…all GAS no brakes!
Yep, manipulate the manipulator.
@@Lifewiththeemartinarenee😂😂😂This is so true and accurate yet sad, the visuals of running with no brakes is hilarious. Thanks for the laugh, I needed it! ❤
I so needed this laugh 😂😂😂
I reached a point now where I don't care if I look good or bad to others. My happiness now comes first.
I totally disagree. You absolutely need to cut all ties and completely cut them out of your life. Sometimes it takes years before they stop trying to contact you. You have to be strong & resolute act as if they are dead to you. It is the only way you will survive. Because anytime you answer a call, an email a text you risk starting that cicle all over again. Every time you open that just a tiny crack he will come for you & try to get you back. They aren’t capable of any kind of normal conversation. You can not control anything about a narcissistic person. Narcissistic people are so dangerous and they seek to destroy you while they feed there own ego & delusions. Seek therapy after but you need to save your life and recover your mind and your spirit - the very parts of you he has always tried to destroy. So please save your life!!!! You are worth it!!!
❤❤❤
I don’t care how people see me at this
point. After being abused by my parents
my whole life: People who believe smear
campaigns are part of the problem too
I have run into a few in public that i cut off . Ignore Ignore....once you learn their tactics.....they got nothing.
Couldn't give a damn if it makes me look like the bad person by cutting them out of my life. I am totally desensitised to any abuse they give. If they do not respect my boundaries, I am taking out a restraining order. I am done.
Yes! They tattletale like 5-year-olds. My narc mother does this all the time, especially to my adult daughter. “Look at how
I disagree, I’m a sigma empath,discovered this while in therapy. I had my Narc become totally unhinged, once I discovered what he was and that he was mind screwing me for the sheer sport of it. You have to mirror the Narc traits back on them. It’s like a game of chess, and you have to be able to turn off ur empathy and emotion. I’ve done this to several coverts. I was raised by narcs. A covert and an overt, however spent a great deal of time with very nurturing loving grandparents. Very stable people.
I find so many that say “i understand you're angry/upset..“ when i inform them, usually when there is some smalll situation that "fits" my "decision" that i am aware of ehatvthey are OR that they have crossed the line or too many red flags to risk it...the funny part is: My reply is " No, i am NOT angry or upset, just setting a boundary"... And the truth is that i am not angry or upset... There might be a small sense of "grief" over recognition that whatever friendship or potential to be a positive person in or around them/their life is no longer ... but then again, i seem to be starting from a standpoint of: everyone is a narcissist and i just haven't identified that they are, not recognized the "type" of Narcissist... And unfortunately in today's world the levelbof EGO,/narcissism is so high that it seems everyone is... Or if they are a codependent/SLDD that they have "imprinted/mirrored" narcissism as a survival mechanism/behavior..mand i don't have time, NOR is it my job to "rescue" others... That part of my codependency is mostly healed from my view...but i observe myself/my behavior with a suspicious eye and investigate my motivation/inner child coping to see the status often...
Wow I love to learn how to do that. Love to have some tips! 😊
You did a video on this before- would you be able to link it in the comments? You said to think in your head, it’s a mental illness- “that’s just mom being mom”- it was super helpful!
Even if you don't go no contact and narcissus is already going behind your back and spreading malicious lies about you two people that you would never expect
Facts, but will probably have to cutoff the people they've lied to too
My husband is a narc. He stops talking to me, for hours, and always has a look like he's plotting something.
I believe he's dangerous.
Praying for you!!
If we know what they worth what’s the value of them portraying you like the bad one ? Know your worth and move on. Ignore is to quite
They are dead accept it. Move on
Who cares if I look like the bad guy? I'm not like the covert narc, so overly concerned about reputation.
Very eyeopening. Thank you. It is so difficult because he is (a covert one) succeeding in making me the bad one to all his friends and family😢. I have to accept this 😢
What is the correct way to do it?
I ignored the narc and they comitted suicide I can say im happy now
IF ....😂 IF they do something we don't like ...
They have almost psychic perception about you and they will know what you are doing to control the situation.
yeah that is super weird and creepy I felt like my ex knew my every move
Yea but who cares what they know, do what suits you. I treated ex narc like a non-entity like he deserved.
I know for a fact that the consequences for ignoring them like they're dead are annoying. Tension has risen
I have a narc friend at church who I want to disconnect with but also not cause her to do what they do. I’m sure she will probably go to the pastor like a victim but I’m just trying to be too busy I’m not trying to call out all her narc behavior. I’m just trying to fade out.
Than what are you supposed to do? Anything I say or do is an attack on me. If I have communication of any kind, anything I say, I am triangulated against, slandered and they turn people against me anyway... 😢
What’s the right way?
Good question….
So no contact at all right?? Even if they email and when he reach out via social media?
It's just that you are so hurt, and communicating is making you feel even more hurt :/
Nope going to ignore to death
So what’s the better way. I think either way we lose.
I do t care or do I want. Control.
Um,,, I had a psychotic breakdown after- I couldn’t distinguish fantasy from reality. Then I ran into a psychiatrist who was an even worse narcissist.
I didn’t know what the word meant then.
FTW
No matter what you do, narcs will find fault in you. It’s in their DNA.
Lies, lies, lies..how about we send them to you???
Thank you..yes I was completely quiet cause wasnt sure how to talk to them but we can still talk but keep it simple and keep emotions out of it. Mundane boring things, you got mail its on the counter. Dont get upset. Grey rock. Dont give them supply, dont let them know what they are doing bothers you.
What’s the point of saying all this without providing a solution
I disagree. Being worried about what others think of you, is exactly what the narc wants, which is still them manipulating you. Just wish them well and move on.
I don’t care anymore about looking like the bad guy.
I know & God knows and that’s all that Matters.
It Took me a Long time to get Here💔🤍🤍💥👊
No contact or gray rock.
I definitely see what you are saying. I like you said in another video to just agree with them and say I'm just glad it's over haha.
Don’t really agree with this done your method and he still complained so I just completely ignored him- never felt so free - no matter what as long as they are not getting the 4S supply sex service safety they will forever bad mouth you so take your peace and blank them
How is the right way?
🌿
I Don t care. you re right but it came upon a time that more than me ran......
Do you not know what grey rocking is or no contact for that matter? They act crazy no matter what method you use so idk what the point of this video was
So no contact?
Well that's going to be easy because she actually died last December.
Sorry, but I disagree entirely. No contact is the only efffective way to break free. Trust me, I had done everything under the sun to make it work and it just wasn't. Please tell me the trauma you encountered when you thought you were going to approach your narc when you tried to sit them down and say you want to end the relationship? As a normal person who once loved this monster, you wish that you could go on peacefully and hope you both leave on good terms. IT WILL 99.9% blow up in your face as this causes a narcissist to experience collapse and they will make sure you regret it. You cannot have a decent and adult conversation with someone with NPD and if they are agreeing, if they are saying they will change, when they start to feel remorse for all the things they stole from you, all the lies you found out and probably only a mere glimpse into their rabbit hole of cheating....RUN. If you are serious (and you need to be serious), go no contact. Muster up the courage and strength within you to finally let them go. They will fight, they will threaten, they will say the most diabolical things to try and hurt you. So if you feel guilty leaving the narcissist, go back and be with them and work on your courage to go. You will relapse because we are addicted to them, but if you discard them, and you come back after a hoover, the narc will lose their microscopic amount of respect for you that they had and they won. If you are a nice and empathetic person, you may want to say something letting them know you are done with the relationship and to not contact them ever again, you lose some power by sharing your vulnerabilities, giving them supply. Even cursing at them over text gives them supply. Any interaction with you during a discard or hoover gives them supply. You will make mistakes, I don't even know how many times ive been through this cycle myself but each time I went back it got worse. Now they be texting talking about how they wish my father cancer and hopes that they can buy my father a tombstone when he dies just so they have a decent place to take a piss. Go an never look back. You know what they are, you know you deserve better. Get your supports together, talk to your employer about what is happening (nutshell version) and whatever else you need because you are in for a fight. Once you feel like you finally got rid of them, a narcs gift keeps on giving because now youre humiliated and depressed on how long you let this POS use, abuse and ruin your life. If the narcissist keeps coming back to you its because you are premium quality supply that they want to keep hold of. If youre narc is particularly psychotic and/or violent go low contact. Keep them unblocked on your phone only and dont respond to the hoover attempts. Why? Because they are absolutely nuts and will find other and more creative ways to get your attention.
So what you’re saying is ignoring them for your own well-being is wrong because you should care about the smear campaign more? I’m sorry, but I don’t think this is great advice.
That's... not it at all.