Men treat WOMEN the way women treat MONEY: how sex roles change the dating process
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- čas přidán 29. 11. 2022
- After my episode, "Women treat men the way men treat jobs," I received a lot of requests asking for the same treatment from the other direction, namely: what are women to men? I've given it some thought, and this is what I came up with. Keep in mind that my intention here is to help women understand some otherwise bewildering male behavior so they can accept, heal, and ultimately have more rewarding relationships in the future. This is a longer treatment, so be sure to say until the end.
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Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California.
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Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com
#relationship #dating #men
It's like what Morpheus said to Neo:"You may have spent the last few months looking for me, but I have spent my ENTIRE LIFE looking for you."
Bro.....wow genius
For Morpheus, Neo was the one.
So true 🙌
that's kinda what I said to him haha! I LOVE THIS GUY!!!
I love how this guy takes the red pill and presents it in the most diplomatic way possible. Good stuff! And yeah, it's a bad idea to invest in one stock, when there's a 45% chance that stock will divorce you and take your kids and half your shit.
45%? No, more than 60%.
I am a cold red pill, and I belong to the unlucky 45 percent without had having anytime more than one stock. But you have to admit , if you have two stocks, you have neither peace nor have a good chance of avoiding belonging to the 45 percent.
In this times of dissolving monogamy I prefer MGTOW, knowing, that my father had a fulfilling life, even if he had to work real hard. But now monogamy is gone.
Just heard in the metro next to me, how a woman told her female friend, how excited she is , that she had sax with her husband and with her friend together. So sad, she has young children too, all will be destroyed. All....😒
Its like the size of ones ear is proportional to the level of catering of the message over its agreement with the recipients position.
Or even worse, as in my case, my children and about 90% of my stuff. Then get shitty about it.
@@stevenhoman2253 damn bro
Men: it requires years of labour-intensive self-improvement to achieve the relationship. The relationship is prized.
Women: the initial relationship requires no effort. The work is transforming the initial relationship into the relationship she truly wants. Simply being in a relationship is not an achievement.
However, once she successfully changes the relationship, she doesn't want it.
And if a higher quality man expresses interest, then she's also gone over half the time.
Have you considered that a woman's work might come after she's with you? After all, I wouldn't say that pregnancy, childbirth and post-partum isn't labour-intensive and requires years of sacrifice.
@@curious164 None of which causes a woman to appreciate the relationship. I take it we are in complete agreement.
@@peterg76yt Healthy women appreciate a man that stands beside and supports them through all that. I would also assume that if she goes through all that to give you a legacy, she must deem you somewhat worthy of it...
@@curious164 most women also want children despite the feminist narrative, it isn’t as such a great sacrifice just for the husband alone as you put it
Never enter into a contract with anyone who is rewarded for breaking it to your detriment.
Leaving this one here, so that I can keep coming back to it.
Bookmarked
This is the 3rd video I have watched and yet another brilliant point: Men are not focused on where the relationship is going because they have arrived in the relationship where they are "going."
Good to have you, Don.
please explain ☺️
As a man, this did not resonate with me. For me, intimacy and understanding is something that takes years and can become richer over time or go horribly wrong.
"Women, lets say you worked hard for your money..."
Savage
They are strong and independent. Working that corporate life just like a man
@@richman7833 Ironically... the more I have to compete with women at work in the corporate world, the less I want to talk with any woman, anywhere.
@@richman7833 strong and independent= being a responsible adult. Men should be strong and independent to be a provider. Women who are without financial stress= not a gold digger. Should be good 👍.
It means that it doesn't rely solely on him to provide and she can carry the load in his sickness or injury. She wouldn't benefit financially if she is dating down and getting divorced.
If you can't provide and lead financially...what's your role? Reliable to her and the family, shared values so she naturally agrees with you, and solid emotional bonds to be her best friend in life. I know my role is to be all that for my hunny with kindness, love, and respect.
So I got a mortgage in my name and he pays 1/4 into living expenses because it wouldn't be fair for him to be paying into my investment. He gets to save money and I have no idea what he has in savings. We date every week and $25 and under...he pays usually. Just to have stupid conversations and enjoy each other without distractions. Anything over and we go dutch. I get him surprise energy drinks and McDonald's before he wakes up.
@@vsmith6109 No one can serve two masters.
You're also killing him with the McDonald's and energy drinks in the morning.
@@vsmith6109 howabout the woman who make money, but want you, the man, to spend for the relationship and their own money is for themselves? There’s a lot of these types I’ve come across.
Dating women is like working for a shady boss who is always joking about firing you and doesnt pay on time. Once I realized this, it helped me let go of failed relationships and talking stages a lot easier. One of the best feelings I recall is when I quit a job due to a shitty boss not because of the job, it's the same with women.
💯
Underrated comment.
nah you just had shitty relationships
Women aren’t the employers, men are. This is the point of the video. Employees will jump from each job of it doesn’t fit them. It’s up to the employer to find the best talent and cultivate the right organization for it
Very funny 😄 😆 🤣 👍sadly True which is impossible to deny!
Also, women have no problem monkey branching from one guy to a more successful one. But the moment a guy dumps them for a younger or hotter woman hell breaks loose . The double standards are insane
Yes
So what? xD if hell brakes loos - let them burn! lol!
I don’t know any woman who have left their husbands for more successful men. I do know a lot of women work and support men who don’t work. And I’m a nurse, so I know a lot of women. I don’t know who these women are that you’re talking about. I’ve only known wives to leave because they were cheated on.
@@mandycortese9293 Do some research. The number of w0men who divorce their husbands as soon as the w0man is promoted / makes more than her husband is staggering.
@@GreatRetro hahaha good one mate!
Experienced divorce lawyer here. Great video! Guys, work on becoming the very best version of yourself. Do the things that bring you joy. Do not have “oneitis”. Stay safe. Stay single. Attract. Do not pursue. Keep up the great work!
ALl good advice. However, no matter how many men work hard on improving themselves, they only raise the bar for all men. 40% of men pass on their genes, 60% do not.
Stay abusive lonely and unevolved.
Thats Gods plan for a life well lived.
@@ladyofspahi, can you please tell me more about this? I’m interested in understanding what you mean by unevolved, can you please explain and give me an example 😊
I have a nice girlfriend who I pursued
I've decided my life alone and controlled by me is more important than playing this crazy biology game. ☮
Some other male youtube "guru" actually said one thing like this that made sense to me. He said he thinks of his relationships with women as being like one's relationship with a pet. It seemed both disappointing and realistic to me.
I’m 45 my testosterone levels are stabilizing. I don’t need women half as much anymore. She’s gotta play by my rules or forget it. I’m independent that’s all I need to know.
Love is a chemical reaction that compels mammals to breed. Rise above Morty. Focus on science.
@@neetpride5919 Love is voodoo, too inconsistent and scarce to be trusted like science.
Same
It's correct. And I see a lot of people (i.e. women) in the comments of both this and the other video struggling with the analogy. Lord help them. Women are more selective than men for relationships, which cause men to put in more effort into self improvement. Ideally, women should take the vow "till death do we part" more seriously and men should ideally not cheat. But the problem is that, as you said, women only get with the guy that can get women. And a guy that gets women will continue to get women. If he stopped getting women (that is, stop being attractive) she would no longer desire him and the happiness in the relationship will disappear. What women ask of a desirable man (don't cheat) is just as difficult as what men ask of desirable women (don't leave for a better option/when things get tough). If a woman truly wanted a faithful man, she would select the low hanging fruit in the dating market: a man with all the good qualities she likes but is practically invisible to women in general. But this goes against women's nature, but I notice that there are women that take this option later on in life (past 30). It's similar to how a man will wait until their late 30s/40s when they are established and successful to marry an early 20 something female because he'd clearly outclass her other options.
Well said.
This is the best description I've seen of the intractable problem we face in modern dating - for both genders. I wonder how many women are prepared to accept this is reality.
What you said of what men and women ask of each other - don’t leave me for a better option when things get rough and woman wanting her man to not ever cheat -
Reminds me of the saying “ A man’s loyalty is tested when he has everything , a woman’s loyalty is tested when her man has nothing “
Coincidentally one of the best predictors of a divorce is a wife getting a significant raise in income and /or the husband losing a job/ significant loss in income.
Women are so selective that is not longer useful to put any effort.
That will never happen because men are polygamous, we want to spread our seed to as much women as possible while women are hypergamous, they will trade up when a better man comes along. No point into commitment or monogamy.
As a woman I appreciate your content as it made me understand relationships much better and empathize with men more NGL. Thank you for your work as this offered a perspective I hadn’t entertained yet.
You nailed it. I'm done with dating and relationships because I feel I have to do all the work, the pursuing and assume all the risk.
Both have risks, maybe different risks but risks for sure. Both people do the work in a healthy relationship, so I suggest to get advice on how to choose women that are better able to correspond a mature relationship. Same for women who complain about men. If each of us did our own work relationships would be better.
In the modern day where the clout and money of Johnny Depp saved him in divorced court. What does that tell you about average men. It’s all about self preservation now and retiring early from this modern mess.
Wait until you have children, roles will emerge that you would much rather be at work getting paid than being a mother. Aka- sexual differences make more sense with parental roles!/evolutionarily required?
This video is an intersection of many of the topics I’ve been delving into lately: the erosion of men’s confidence due to dating apps ( in which a small percentage of men get the majority of women), women remaining unmarried ( due to a rejection of traditional roles / expectations and a cultural emphasis on prioritising careers) and the general uncoupling of sex and commitment. Louise Perry’s new book says it best: the sexual revolution resulted in far more malcontent than anyone is willing to admit. Both men and women want security- what’s the benefit to marry a woman, have children and become financially intertwined if you know the courts will favor her with respect to custody / alimony? If a woman wants a man in marriage, she needs to reject the current social narrative and assure the man that he also has security: that she will be with him when the chips are down.
An apt statement my father often said:
Women decide if a relationship will begin, men decide if a marriage will begin.”
Kevin Samuels said, "Women control access to sex. Men control access to marriage."
@@sarahrobertson634 if that were true there wouldn't be so many 40 year old women who are single and cry themselves to sleep every night because they can't get a good man to marry them (I've done sessions for some of them), while their 40-year old male counterparts are successful, happy, and dating women 5-15 years younger.
@@sarahrobertson634 Nope, if that were true then seeking arrangements wouldn't exist, let alone be as massively popular as it is (and with 4 girls on the site for every man). Rollo Tomassi puts the prime for a man's sexual market value at 36-38. University of Missouri did a study and found men's SMV is highest from 40-50, when they're at peak income levels. Clearly your vague references are being used to justify how you feel as a woman, as opposed to a man whose primary filter is reason. You sound really hurt. Who hurt you?
@@sarahrobertson634 you're right. Am currently having sex with 3 married women. Married women are the easiest to get. They're all sluts nowadays.
@@sarahrobertson634 no, women don’t control relationships, they only control if there is a sexual relationship, they can’t control if a man marries them or gets in a relationship with them, otherwise there wouldn’t be so many single women with no man beyond just men sleeping with her, but nice try
I was married to a woman who apologized without hesitation when I confronted her about her bad behavior. Unfortunately, the bad behavior just continued, each time followed by apology which I explained to her nullified the apology.
Talk is cheap. Actions take effort, therefore not cheap.
Therefore trust what they do, not what they say. This is for all people, even you.
Apologies without change in behavior is manipulation
Mic drop at 2:00 . The relationship is the prize for a man. The relationship is a means to an end for a woman, e.g. she actually wants kids, to build an empire, have great IG pics, have a luxury lifestyle, etc. This psychologist is nailing it. OMG. It all makes sense now.
dork
I do agree with him on these points. I do think this is a distinction between men and women. His comment on men wanting sex and options above a relationship doesn't fit all men at all.
Plenty of men, who have had options sexually for a long time, are actually wanting a relationship and can easily say no to sex with another option.
That is a unhealthy generalization of women, some women simply want the relationship, frankly keep your money but hands off mine too partnership of equals better healthier model.
I for one doubt this person even has a degree in psychology!
@@lorimckay2704bruh, he must be lying for years now, because you don't like generalisations in subjects where we try to draw general conclusions 💀
You're 100% dead on. Dating is fucking stressful for a man. It feels one sided and like the woman has all the power until she becomes emotionally invested which might take forever or never happen. My advice to women is to start treating men with more respect and kindness or face the very real possibility that most men will completely give up on you.
Great advice that no woman will see, and if they did they could care less
@@lorraine5800 is there something you did that made him back away? Coz guys don’t generally reject women
Great advice reminds me of another quote: Stay single until someone give a crap about you
@@lorraine5800 Something is missing from this story.
@@lorraine5800 Translation: You keep falling for the same type of men in hopes of changing them validating how awesome you are as a women, and they prove you wrong again and again.
Meanwhile you likely friendzoned or ignored various guys who were perfect for you because they didn't give you the "tingles" or actually did validate you and make it clear where they stood.
One of the biggest lies women tell themselves is they want men to be open books...HAHAHAHA!!!
No, you want distant, mysterious men who barely keep you in their lives and hopefully will want some form of commitment that will never come.
I've seen some variation of your comment a thousand times over the years and after some back and forth..its always the same story even when they deny it and argue otherwise.
Although I'm not the type to cheat or keep options around, I can definitely understand why other men do it. My family was broken into pieces by 2 women - my mother who divorced my father, and my oldest brothers ex-wife who divorced him after having 5 young kids. Neither of them cheated or had any other options, and I grew up watching both of them fall into depression. All they did was work to support their families and in the end were stabbed in the back for it. After my mom divorced my dad she went and got breast implants and started sleeping around, needless to say I don't talk to her anymore.
When I look around and see the statistics of women being the ones initiating divorces 70-80% of the time, it becomes hard not to sympathize with the men who do this. In a world where all of your hard work over decades can be flushed down the drain in the blink of an eye, and for no apparent reason, insurance becomes necessary.
You do realize men cheat on good women too right? It’s not always black and white.
@@sarahrobertson634 There's never an excuse to commit.
@@sarahrobertson634 Sexual Incarceration.
@@sarahrobertson634 I'd rather continue having sex.
@@sarahrobertson634 oooh, I see it... now. you are a troll!
Will I see you now under a dozen different comment chains, where you equate men to being dogs?
lol
I knew I shouldn't have replied to the other comment earlier.
"Most women have absolutely no conception of the sheer amount of time and effort and skill and resources it takes to get them."
I remember exactly when this first dawned on me. I was 17 years old, and was talking to some female friends about why I disliked taking girls (even if I truly liked them) on dates. They couldn't relate at all - they thought dates were fun.
I LOVE THIS CHANNEL! A long term relationship ended very suddenly 2 years ago and I still can't make sense of my ex's actions. But a lot of it is starting to make sense after watching a few of your videos.
People may not like what you said, but that’s because if they are being completely honest with self, it’s true.
I really appreciated that you pointed out that us men secretly resent all the work we have to do to get women. And would prefer to just have them without working. Your videos are shedding light on things for me, even though I've been steeped in relationship psychology for the last ten years. Well done good sir. I'll be watching your videos for the next few days, until my ADHD takes me elsewhere ;-)
Isn't this the fantasy? Intimacy without responsibility?
Generally, modern love isn't love, it's people shopping... Which I hate.
It is the reality. It has always been this way. Hypergamy is not new. Polygamy is not new.
Saw the thumbnail & showed this to my friend, didn't even hear your analysis we both immediately agreed! Appreciate your work, Doctor Orion!
Thanks for the love, brother
The best analogy and explanation ever presented on this topic. Well done. 👏
This analogy is golden. And he truly articulates it with clarity and precision. I can only imagine the amount of effort and countless hours of brainstorming that goes into reaching these conclusions, and I don’t take it for granted. This analogy is yet one of many that I’ve picked up from this channel that I will now carry with me from time to come.
I don't know how I didn't come across your channel on CZcams before, but I think it happened at the perfect moment. I really appreciate your work. This kind of content helps a great deal. Keep up the good work my brother.
Well you just proved my mom was right all these years. It's sad. But I don't look for love from anyone any more. Just give love to help others so that there still remains love in this world. It's sad so sad. But this is what the world is really about.
I was utterly surprised by how few views the videos on this channel have. The content is so good my subconscious assumption was each video has 100k-200k views. This channel is an absolute goldmine.
I hereby declare this the "truepill".
I barely ever subscribe to any channel, but I just subscribed to this one and now I'm probably going to go back and watch every single video from the start.
King.
I couldn't agree more. I have only watched 2 videos but already I can tell this guy is operating on a different level. What he said about the relationship being the prize for a man, but being just an means to an end for a woman (because they actually want things like kids, resources, luxury lifestyle for IG, etc) is so true. And the bit about investing in 1 risky stock/wife is terrible financial advice was another gem. This guy should be on a million subs.
Really, please don't. Please. Get a balanced view. This sounds good on the surface, from a man's perspective, well presented, seems to make sense on the surface, but it is reinforcing the things men want to believe about women, but they are just NOT TRUE about women in general. This just feeds into the divide between men and women that is creating a whole lot of bitter, unhappy people. The divisiveness in the world now is incredible, and seems to be a trend. Do you want to understand women? Don't ask a man, ask her! Ask a woman who is not out there with a megaphone bashing men. You'll hear something much different.
Very well said. Some people here (mostly women) seem to be getting up in arms over this concept but this scenario is exactly how things would have been playing out before marriage and religion came along to put a lid on these motivators as they have perverse outcomes that aren’t desirable for a well functioning and inclusive society.
No doubt in prehistoric society the “silverback males” as it were got all the females and the majority of males didn’t get to mate at all. This obviously wasn’t a desirable way to have a cooperative society where everyone pulled their weight so that situation was progressively restricted through societal norms like marriage and religion to ensure a more fair and equitable distribution of relationships to encourage societal inclusion.
Ironically the result of the liberation of women has been to progressively remove this previous marriage/religious construct that forced a societal norm that discouraged men treating women like money and women treating men like jobs. You committed to one person and that was it, end of story, and the system made it very difficult if not socially impossible to divorce someone.
Now women are financially incentivised to divorce men for no reason whatsoever and young women want to “play the field just like the men”. Thing is that most likely the vast majority of men were historically never playing the field as they were never of a high enough calibre to do so, it was only ever the upper 20% or so of men (the silverbacks as it were) that would get the pick of the women, and now women are making it as easy as possible for that 20% to have their pick of them!
Women are shooting themselves in the foot by insisting on getting “Mr Perfect” and then filing for divorce if Mr Perfect puts the wrong shirt on in the morning! We are progressively reverting back to the historical norms that existed before we became an inclusive society and having a whole underclass of males unable to or unwilling to find a mate is one of the factors progressively tearing society apart.
Next time you want to complain about crime or lament how unfriendly society has become just ask yourself, would this person be doing this if they had a loving partner, a roof over their head and three meals a day? The answer in the vast majority of cases would be no, most people doing the fucked up stuff in society are doing it because society never gave anything to them or broke them down!
Yes
Genius! You get it. Monogamy is the advanced system. And it also helps to diversify our genetics. Davids always know best. I would know haha
Your conclusion sounds a bit like: A child that is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth.
headshot analysis.
unrestrained intuition (almost always) inevitably self sabotages in the long run without guidance from structure.
Although u forgot something.. today we have prn and it’s been shown to reduce violence.. so it’s really great that all the losers out there can enjoy imaginary sex. Prn is fortunately the great societal saviour
I’m glad I watched this video and learned from your insights. It makes me happy that I’m single by choice and exerting my time and energies into productive things. Good luck out there people.
This was eye-opening. Will need to watch this several times before it fully sinks in.
i love you man ! unlike all the other mentors, you get right and clear to the point and help really understand things. other mentors beat around the Busch say things like "women like successful"
Masterpiece episode, this really explains a lot of dating and relationships dynamics.
you have a gift for explaining these things in diplomatic, simple ways. very well put!
So many men (and women) see the opposite sex as a prize…
I hope everyone is lucky enough to one day be in a loving longterm relationship, where you love and trust your partner like theyre your child/parent/best friend. You would instinctively sacrifice your life to save them. You’re not separate beings at all, your whole existence is intertwined.
It is possible, but you have to have to make a choice regarding your future. I chose one woman because she makes me happier than being with numerous girls ever made me. And she feels the same. Still there are occasionally things that split us apart. But we made a choice, so we talk it through and overcome the misunderstandings. Then were back to the bliss of knowing were presently unconditionally loved.
That’s good for you. Sounds like you were lucky enough to find a woman that will work with you through the hard times. Unfortunately, most women these days will leave when the going gets tough.
I would be careful with the "unconditional" word
My choice is to stay single, and i love it.
Unfortunately, we are past the stage of believing in love. What we’re doing now, is highlighting the game and giving it to all players regardless of what level their on. Sadly, love is going to be missed and these are arranged, planned, rehearsed, transactional relationships that are dry, non-organic and have a shelf life.
Appreciate this. It exists. We got lucky. I think we love each other extra hard because theres so much bullshit out there how could you not appreciate a truly authentic and loving partnership when you find one.
I really love this perspective it was really eye opening and I appreciate you taking the time to post this. It makes a ton of sense. Thanks you got 👍🏿 from me
This must be one of your best episodes. You nailed it, the nature of relationship between men and women.
Perfect 10 minute explanation without pandering ideologies. This video is content gold without complicated production. Thanks!
Very enlightening, thank you. Well spoken as always.
Totally appreciate good analogies as they help you check your work, being all things are relative. Subscribed
Extremely refreshing and professional approach. The delivery is such that it doesn’t immediately offend women to hear the truth. Men/Women still don’t like the truth but it sure helps.
I try to earn the woman Im with by being the best, responsible version of me I can be. If they don’t end up wanting that then Im in good shape. Ive taken a brutal inventory of cause and effect in my life and the humility and gratitude that comes with that enables me to love my female partner in a way that is actionable every day. My partner witnesses my humanity and struggle and I witness theirs. It can scale or fall away because it’s elemental in its nature.
Make sure they earn you.
@@jackmoretti7943 There is a lot of wisdom just in that short sentence of yours. I can only hope the others take time to understand what you're implying.
I agree. Gotta make sure your capabilities are either earned, or known to be done for oneself exclusively.
Own yourself and your resources, do not let anyone take it away unless it by your morals and your approval. Relying on those facts of you, that's when people have earned you.
The real question is, if given your resources, do they represent something of value to you? If not, whatever they do with your resources will be seen as a waste by you. Never waste your resources as a man, its akin to self-sabotage.
I Love this! Thank you for this information. I’m married with 5 kids, and I definitely see how this is all correct.
How can you summarize such complex subjects in such an enlighting way? You're a metaphor genius.
Excellent breakdown of the different relationship dynamics!
I wish I knew all this in my 20's, now in my early 40's and after 10 years alone, I start grasping the real dimension of the social changes that led to this insane form of living. My parents met, married and kept together until death. My father all day long outside working, my mother at home. Even though it was not perfect sometimes, a trusty family with solid bases was there. Women have changed a lot. Regards from Argentina.
Be on your own purpose and on your own grind. Be unconcerned about attracting a woman. Focus on yourself and on accomplishing your goals and objectives. The importance of that advice far exceeds any concerns regarding women.
You might the best explainer of these subjects I've ever heard in a way I can understand it. Well done!
OMG! Perhaps the MOST TRUTHFUL video I have ever viewed!
Its clear some past hurt has inspired these great insights and for that, The gift of these videos have appeared. The analogies are first class and im going to scroll thru to see the comments for reactions and responses. Intellectually these observations are valid and accurate, but the emotional reactions or triggers will occur no matter how delicate you deliver your message. I say, excellent presentation and it conjures up many images of past experiences.
WOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! Home Run w/ that breakdown! I can take that one to the Bank! NEVER heard it delivered that way! GREAT STUFF!!!!!!!!
I'm learning much from these analysis. Thank you. 🙏🏼
What a messed up world we live in. I think a healthy target is to aim to find someone who you would never want to replace. I certainly feel like it's a possibility. I personally hate the process of finding someone, so I always hoped that "she" would be the last one. The more time passes, the more hopeless it seems to find that person I'm looking for. Also different people have different goals with their relationships. Again the good target in my opinion is to evolve the relationship and grow together. Or yeah ... Stay single
The best kind of person was described in Conan book paradoxically as full of muscular men and depravity as they were. If you look at it Conan never stayed for long with girls who were very soft and weren't ready to carry their weight. His longest romances were with queens and pirates who could really manage on their own ( though those were also people who often had at first too much pride to be fair).
I dunno anymore if that idea is my conclusion of reading those books or it was explicitly written. But what use is a woman to a man when she comes to him when he already has his empire built. Then it's almost certainly she won't appreciate the effort it took to build it. If she however was there every step of the way, helping when it was hard, being helped in return when she struggled, it's pretty much assured she will look back at that time and be proud of her achievement no matter how it look right now.
And even then taking authors logic it would be best for pretty young men to marry young women. Since woman will then have her work and man will cherish the credit of trust he got. However if they meet late in life its really hard for woman to transform a man since he is successful the way he was and its also easy for a man to wander to someone else since he really has no gratitude for her being in his life.
Hahha I hope that made sense since I wrote this from phone and might be incoherent a bit too much
@@jamessan3404 The problem is they want a guy already at the finish line after 32. As in Women do not care about your struggles. They hang at the finish line and pick the winners. You suffer doing it the hardware without her and towards the end then when she old post wall is now ready to start things
@@timgibney5590 In Russia, we have a saying: "To be a general's wife, you need to marry a lieutenant". It is sad that modern women don't understand this.
@@Straga_Severa With Tinder and Bumble women have access to CEOs, Muscians, and sometimes even celebrities looking for fun. They think its normal and get alpha imprinted when they do not want to commit.
Their next boyfriend must match these top 2% of men they slept with and she can't respect a man who is not at that level afterwards. It is normal to them that we are all rich
@@timgibney5590 Yep. The dating sites make an illusion that you can get a "general" without getting with a "lieutenant" and helping him go through promotions, supporting him and sharing the struggles with him.
When the guy is already a "general", and if he has no girl that shared the history with him, formed the common memories, that he knows he can trust... why the hell would he choose to not stay single and have casual beddings with women? Why would he decide to commit to a woman who just wants the results without going through the process first?
I don’t remember love being this complicated with my parents and grandparents. My grandparents 60 something years on both sides. My parents 49 years. Am I missing something, or am I slow this sounded like a very complicated analogy either you love money or you don’t. Either you love somebody or you don’t.
Women used to have to get married. They couldn't work to support themselves, so women just had to settle for what they could get. Women don't have to do that anymore. Women are hypergamous and go for the most desirable men. And most women would rather be single than settle for a lower value man. This isn't a problem for young and physically beautiful women. But older women (35+), or overweight women, or women who simply aren't that pretty will have to choose between settling for a man that she likely won't find physically attractive. Or stay single. In the near future, about half of all women will never get married or have children.
It's actually not that complicated of an analogy to comprehend if you understand male and female nature. Your parents and grandparents grew up and got married in a very different era of society. Average women married average men. It's not like this anymore. Currently, below-average up to higher-rated women all want to date/ marry the top 10 to 20 percent of men. And since options turn down options at roughly the same rate as women offered free money you can see how things can get pretty competitive for a woman aiming to nab a top-tier man who is flooded with 'free' pussy. Got it? Good!
There’s nothing complicated. People nowadays are just making money out putting a pay to play gate on every aspect of life hence you get these self help Guru’s(not referring to our friend making this video. He’s very honest and factual).
Just like 100 years you still have to work, get a house, be educated, look good and feel good to make it in life which will result in having an easy time finding many options
@@Dr.Ken_11 You know in the Quaran and Hadith it states that! Get someone that matches your status! It fulfills half of your faith because it’s difficult and that’s why I am worried because my faith is being tested in other ways!
Love is a transaction , like all other human agreements
This channel is brutally underrated!! 💙
Thanks for such a clever, simple and widely relatable analogy.
Talking to women completely destroys all the effort put into the logistics of getting them. In other words, as I've gotten older the best discovery is that talking to women and actually listening to their thought process is all the antidote one needs to turn and walk the other way, making physical contact the last thing you'd want.
😂😂😂
There's an old saying: 'Marriage is the price men pay for sex, and sex is the price women pay for marriage'.
For women marriage means security (in the form of wealth mostly) for herself and her children, and for men marriage means providing that security. Of course, over the last 50 years or so women have been able to provide more and more for their own security and be less dependent on men. The arrival of children however usually makes women dependent on men again, which can lead to resentment for the woman.
It's not unusual also for the woman to transfer all or most of her love onto the children making the man resentful. It's no wonder then that he might seek solace elsewhere if he feels that he is just being used.
I don’t know how this came on my timeline but I loved it. New sub ❤
This Channel is pure gold.
Thank you, doc! Finally somebody put the gender power games in universally understandable analogy. Will use it in my practice.
5:30 I've said something similar. "It's like seeing a winning lottery ticket on the ground and not picking it up." - No one would do that.
This video was so good, I had to stop what I was doing to pay attention.
Excellent breakdown and explanation!
Best red pill explanations I came across so far. Bravo!
With women being the way they are today, there is no point in relationships. For men today it's disrespect or nothing. It's sad how many men still keep trying in the hope for love that women don't have in our society.
women have driven the 'price' of vagina to an all-time low... while making it super easy to attain at the same time. they're all chasing/screwing the same guys and actually WANT those guys... but will continue screwing other guys at the same time AND keeping beta orbiters around as social 'insurance.'
i say, "enjoy the downfall." women created this mess listening to feminists. things won't correct until we hit rock bottom as a society, and we're well on our way.
It struck me recently that, in a very real sense, women are a man's muse. Just like a writer must do all the writing and only get glimpses of inspiration from the muse, so all men receive inspiration from the women they date. I suppose I'm saying that the women you date are your muse and not your mother for a good reason. If you start to feel like your girlfriend is looking after you like your mother would, then you're probably doing the whole relationship thing the wrong way. If a woman is mothering you, that will trigger her maternal instincts, which is the polar opposite of sexual desire. In the end, a woman can't desire a boy. So, for me, I'd rather date a woman that's like my muse rather than like my mother.
💯
if you depend on women to be your inspiration wouldn't that also mean you are doing the relationship wrong? If you are someone who doesn't depend on anyone to get their life together and do things. I find women don't really add any value, in fact, they are an obstacle to men's success.
Appreciate your video and your analogy, Dr Orion.
Excellent insight Dr. Taraban. I really appreciate your videos.
This is really good insight. It's very important to understand our differences on both sides in order to create healthy relationships and not be all kinds of "toxic".
There’s only one reason to turn down money, for women as for men: it’s called integrity. It’s not a matter to stay faithful to a partner, but to a one’s value system. A full grown up, well-rounded personality will behave that way, at least most of the time (we all make mistakes, of course). We have two issues these days with relationships: one it’s linked to an endemic immaturity, the other to turbocapitalism making us treat people like disposable goods. Honestly, it makes me sick and want to stay single for the rest of my life. P.S.: I did happen to turn down money or commodities, if I felt that for some reason it wasn’t legitimate for me to own them. Go figure.
Agreed. This guy does not know what he is talking about.
What integrity is, is fully dependent on pre-established notions of what is right and what is wrong. Different people have different ways of measuring rightness and wrongness. For example if one's value system is based in the full acceptance of the nature of men and women without shame or blame then based on that value system, having multiple women does not invalidate their integrity. Is your moralistic value system superior to someone else's naturalistic value system? I personally don't think so. One who's value system is based on acceptance of the way we are has just decided to avoid conforming to societally imposed standards of the way they should behave because those ways are mostly unrealistic just as its mostly unrealistic to turn down free money.
@@justlurkin Developing attachment for a mate is a natural occurrence, too. And attachment has this unfortunate side effect: to make you suffer as hell when you discover that the person you cherished and trusted has let you down cheating on you. Sorry, I’ll stay with my moralistic view.
@@haselbasil2488 I appreciated his first videos, these days has become clear that he refers to a certain kind of audience. My therapist (who happens to be a man) would be appalled to hear this kind of stuff 🙄
@@camillab.b.4196 he's a man telling fellow men about what he's observed and experienced in life. he isn't crazy, he's telling you what he's extrapolated from the years of experience in his field and the real world
This is a better way to explain the relationship dynamic. Everyone has a role to play. Play your role and win. Disregard your role and fail. No strings attached
Excellent breakdowns. Glad I followed this channel
I'm just going to respond purely on the level of the argument itself. The problem with the analogy is that money is a fungible object with no emotions. 5 dollars in the hand of one person is equivalent to the five dollars of another person. Interchangeable, undifferentiated. Humans are not mutually interchangeable like money. That means one person would have a unique emotional, sexual and physical trait dissimilar to another. So it is way easier to get free money because the other money won't complain, won't feel anything and has no attachments.
True -- but your employer might, which was my argument. This is why many high-status professions have exclusivity clauses, to protect their "investments" (i.e., human "resources").
Yeah, I think that the analogy disturbed 👺some people.
So women are both the employer and the money? These days job commitment is at an all-time low. People change jobs regularly. Also this analogy would imply that men trade in women (money). Once you use the money you earned you have to get new and more money. Also, more money = more women. Kind of funny because men also buy women with their wealth. But thats how it works right?
Personally I think we have to outgrow these outdated pathologies for the sake of evolution and as a testimony to our claimed intelligence as a species. These unconscious motivations and methods deny humanity of its social potential and prove our lack of self awareness.
Increasingly, women will no longer date men because of what they have to offer since women will have everything they need for themselves. Men have always had this privilege. The emerging values sought after in the dating marketplace for both genders will be companionship and paired problem solving (enabled by psychological compatibility). Those who continue as subjects of these instincts/outdated psychological methods (male and female, perhaps excluding the highly underpriveleged who operate on even greater primal psychological modes) will be seeded out or remain the subjects of objectification, heartbreak, loneliness and existential bitterness.
Whether it's men who objectify women, or women who objectify men, it is something that denies the personhood of human beings. Its something that is entirely necessary to change and rethink. Yes, things are like this now, but when will the field of psychology ever make developments and contributions as effectual and meaningful as in science and technology unless the thinkers of that field begin to innovate and challenge the problems they encounter instead of simply accepting things as they are and calling it a day. Pathologies die when society call them out and begin challenging them as was the case with slavery which was once considerably "normal". Abuse in world war 2 under nazi regime would have been a normal occurence in those times. But normal and statistically average does not equal good or beneficial to society.
@@asheekitty9488 The unconscious element of humanity is arguably the strongest part. Based on what I have been told, our decisions occur several seconds before we are aware of them. Ultimately, we do not possess the free will that we believe we do. Therefore, it would probably be hard to overcome the motivations you mentioned.
I think in an age of materialism, everything and everyone is disposable. That's the impression that divorce rates and failed relationships give. Men have a responsibility to make themselves better in order to be attractive. Women have inherent value and men do not, which is hardly a privilege. One of the things driving this is that women seek men who are better than they are, as in richer, taller and more socially notable. Since this instinct aims to better humanity, it's unlikely that anyone will overcome these 'methods'.
I wouldn't expect any new answers from psychology or science. Spreading awareness is probably our best bet. I think the issue with the pathologies you outlined is that they were practices i.e. not the cause of the problem. They were simple enough to stop, but the mindset that caused them is alive and kicking. The exploitation of others, ruthlessness and hard-heartedness.
That which is currently in vogue is not what is good for humanity, particularly in the west. We have thousands of years of instincts. The last few hundred years are simply an experiment that is still waiting for results. All that is likely is a collapse if we continue on this trend. The only way to overcome the problems is through the opposite of materialism, increased consciousness using esoteric spirituality. Not the exoteric kind which is used en masse, and focuses on dogma instead of understanding and growth.
@@asheekitty9488 "Men have always had this privilege."
You just couldn't help yourself, could you? The idea that men always had this that or the other privilege is so comprehensively debunked by historical evidence - and by analysis of society as a class system - that it has no place in modern discourse.
You have a way of explaining things. Well done.
Sure
I never thought of it like this. This gives me a much better perspective.
That was probably one of the best videos I’ve heard in a long time. Made me smile from ear to ear. :-)
I show up for work for work. I do get paid, but that's not the first second or third reason I work.
I've never treated a woman that way. But I think men in general will, so this was an interesting video. The world tries to slap me with the label of autistic but I swear I'm the normal one. The lonely but normal one. Maybe it's better to be weird...
Keep going brother I beleive in you.
What way are you talking about? Thanks
I call them apes
I feel the same way, like sex is important to all living things. But having abstained for almost a decade, it scares me to look for a partner now. The dating game feels dishonest, and advantageous. Dating in my early 20’s was so genuine, now it feels like you have to watch your back for betrayal or just accept that being alone is better. 😔
You can't be normal and weird at the same time. To be normal is to be like the majority of the population. To be weird is to be different from the population.
This is a great channel. Amazing different content that is very useful. Unique view points, Thanks
Genius analysis and break down. He masterfully articulates human nature as it pertains 2 relationships in a way anybody could comprehend and understand.
The clean and sophisticated version of Fresh and Fit 😂 Good stuff…
In all truth I would rather invest in Gold and Silver than in a woman. The Gold and silver are better investments in the long run plus those resources can gain value while age decreases a woman's value.
I just discovered your channel today and it's amazing content. Keep it up!
Once again, a great non judgmental analysis that really gives a fresh air and original approach to men-women relationships.
Wow this is a great analogy! Although I don’t necessarily agree this applies to every men and women on earth cause I myself have rejected money in many occasions and that for my own principles. I also know of men who would have no problem rejecting women. I understand men and I agree we both have to feel secure if marriage be an option make sure nothing’s getting stripped out of him. I now know why men in general are afraid of commitment, I have never really look for it myself so far but I do like exclusivity which may be the same thing. I would never force a man to give up his freedom or single life I want to find someone who wants to offer it to me and of course make sure we are both safe in the relationship or after it if it wouldn’t work out.
super illuminating content! love the women treat men like JOBs video as well
Never heard it put this way before. Genius!!
Women expect you to "just get it". Having no concept of what that takes.
If you have ever been dumped by a man because of your "inadequacies" you'd understand. Relationships take work and maturity from both sides. These days women also chase men but it seems that men dont actually like that. That would be too easy/boring for them and they would take such an experience for granted. Im only mimicking your approach of making sweeping statements because of a bit of experience had here: Men would rather do all the chasing and complain about it than have someone choose them and pursue them.
The frank truth is that either gender with a lack of perspective will make mistakes and incorrect assumptions and society's commentary on these issues is what establishes a prejudiced narrative. Atleast thanks to the internet we can "talk" it out and hash multiple perspectives which will lead to societal umderstanding and some degree of change over time.
@@asheekitty9488 I absolutely agree. The world is a big place. So, what's happening now, is a loud minority of both genders are speaking for all of us. Those who ask for one thing, are not the same ones answering for another. There are bad versions of us on both sides, but I do welcome the conversation. I personally understand the complicated nature's of both our genders, but there's nothing wrong with expressing ourselves. It's survival of the fittest, as nature has intended. May the best man and woman, win...
@@asheekitty9488 Women don't chase most men. What are you smoking? They want this weird sticky substance called commitment, but they don't actually want or care about the man who could offer it. Women are hunting for labels, not human beings with emotions.
I'm going to try very hard to forget that I ever saw this video. Doc I want to believe that your charm, wit, intelligence, and humor are innate and not the result of tremendous effort, time, skill, and resources on your part. Please say it isn't so! 😄
Sounds like you admire his genes more than his character, is that what you're getting at?? Lol
@@thecurrentmoment Hahaha!
They're most definitely not. Women are; men become.
You are such a national treasure I love the way you understand women in relationships❤
That's really insightful. Thank you.
While I am agreeing that we’re biologically prone to seeing each other that way, man woman and woman man, it is not at all the way to happiness.
I’ve had very beautiful relationships where I did not see my gf as the price for something, but as someone I can be intimate on any level. And it was totally worth it.
To me, it sounds like man are so hard working, and If only woman would know the hard work we put into getting them they would at least respect us. It is certainly true that the effort someone can put into getting a woman can be unimaginable, but it is your choice to make it your life’s only objective to do so.
In my experience, happiness stems from giving love and compassion, and switching to resentment because you can’t get a woman, is not gonna help.
What you’re arguing is for that we should just play along and accept reality. Well, yea, accept reality and change something. I like to lay out my life with the question in mind what would bring the most happiness, and by seeing others as the price, as money, objectives, doesnt achieve that goal, rather it creates suffering at some point. There are so many goals to chose from that purely generate happiness with the right intention, helping other, solve global issues, etc… not to say I am not struggling, but only chasing the fuck or price of my hard work did not lead to consistent happiness, and what are you gonna do when you’re old? Keep the end in mind. I don’t want to be a 70s year old chasing young woman, I’d rather have someone I truly love in my age
You’re often pointing out how rational decision are. They are rational, but based on urges and emotions. You could argue that someone who resolutes their arguments by hitting opponents because they are traumatic from being beaten at home acts rational with his given past. But getting therapy would be the better option.
This actually quite a brilliant breakdown
Dude you are opening my eyes in a healthy way!
"Give me a boy until he is eight, and I will give you the man". We've been indoctrinated since childhood to behave this way. We are unlikely to correct it unless we significantly deviate from modern convention. Likely the only way forward is back. Eradicating promiscuity is one of those ways, I reckon.
This is biological, not learned. You will never eliminate promiscuity, the survival of the species depends on it.
Eliminate promiscuity, okay Stalin.
@@kidlatazul does this also include when parts of our infrastructure collapses, because the majority of men will not be capable of replacing themselves with their own children? Because women apparently only look at the top 20 to 5 percent of men?
@@Redactedlllllllllllll Well done for misinterpreting that. Social stigma through standards is the best way to accomplish this, not a police state.
@@kidlatazul I recognise that. I'm talking about removing this culture that encourages it.
Great video! Ty for helping to put this in perspective! To me, self-discipline, self-control, and self-respect are attractive qualities in a man.
The ideal is a guy who has the ability to cheat with anyone he wants, but chooses not to. That takes strength and character.
To me, a guy who has the capacity to cheat and acts on it is on the same level of attractiveness as a guy who is unable to cheat due to lack of options... perhaps even lower because the latter guy still has potential.
Once a man has options, we get to see what type of man he truly is and therefore how attractive.
You understand men!!! Thank you Bro! Ich bin so glücklich, dass ich Deinen Channel gefunden habe! Alles liebe aus Deutschland
I've been approaching woman for 1 year, and just now showing confidence and getting dates. Guys, you have to put in the work! Thanks Orion!
What I'm hearing is if men cheat they have possibly subconsciously weighed the cost of sleeping with another women to the value they have affix to their girlfriend/wife. In other words, is sleeping with this other woman potentially worth losing my significant other over? The analogy for the women would be, if you take this free $50k, you might lose your job. The rub here is that many women will not leave if they are cheated on, which in essence lowers her value in his eyes and increases his chances of cheating unless he has integrity.
What your hearing is all in your head and your making up the dialogue from a reactive mind, In this video this was never said or implied in fact it was the designed to explain the process of the mind of man and women and the intrinsic differences. When you understand the "Code" you can understand the process.
Kidding? She divorced and gets more than half of everything. She keeps the house and moves another man in and pays for nothing.
Men can cheat and still love their wife. When women cheat the relationship is over. Men love idealistically, women love opportunistically
loyalty isn't the same for men & women. women express loyalty by keeping her legs closed and staying OUT of situations where she can be alone with another man.
men express loyalty by willingly putting our LIVES ON THE LINE for the woman we want. that's SINGULAR as in, "woman" we want... not WOMEN. that means... other women can get the penis but if i had to put my life on the line, it would be for the MAIN woman; the others got the penis but they'll NEVER get the ultimate sacrifice.
emotions can be detached in man world. we can separate our feelings from the woman... AND the vagina from the woman as well. that's right... we can like/want your vagina and NOT like the person-or even HATE the woman. women can also detach emotionally, but that won't last long. "what does having all this sex mean?" will always get asked eventually.
> that many women will not leave if they are cheated on
false. Lots will