Why successful MEN CHEAT: the ring of power corrupts all who touch it
Vložit
- čas přidán 21. 11. 2022
- Cheating seems to be rampant among successful men. Despite coming from different walks of life, and advancing up independent dominance hierarchies, men in top positions seem to be remarkably consistent in this behavior. This can't be just a coincidence. At first blush, cheating in successful men makes little-to-no sense, because the risk-reward profile is insanely high. However, if we change the way we look at things, this behavior can be understood (without judgment). I'll discuss more in this episode.
Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California.
Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others.
See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations.
Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com
#cheating #power #success
Cheating seems to be rampant among successful men. Despite coming from different walks of life, and advancing up independent dominance hierarchies, men in top positions seem to be remarkably consistent in this behavior. This can't be just a coincidence. At first blush, cheating in successful men makes little-to-no sense, because the risk-reward profile is insanely high. However, if we change the way we look at things, this behavior can be understood (without judgment). I'll discuss more in this episode.
Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California.
Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others.
See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations.
Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com
I have to disagree. Successful men are more socially visible so we “see” it often in them doesn’t mean it’s not happening with people who are not as visible “we” just don’t see it. It might be a symptom of success, like ego yes. Cheating is actually more acceptable than we want to admit because people know of people who cheat but that doesn’t mean we get involved in their business and reprimand them ourselves, especially if they are not close to us and if we don’t know the ins and outs of their relationship status. Most people turn a blind eye to someone else’s business. Cheating comes down to morals, values and beliefs mixed with individual circumstances. I actually think some circles don’t think cheating is as bad as other things like not providing financially for some people might be worse than if their man was cheating on them. Also sometimes men who haven’t achieved what they want in life financially are insecure and need validation from women, or as they become successful yes they get more opportunity/ options but it still comes down to morals. That’s my personal opinion. I love that you’re talking about this topic no one talks about cheating enough except Esther Perel she is the OG on infidelity
Yeah that's true because they can. Women of all statuses cheat a lot...again, because they can.
because they can (short answer)
Most women have little to no respect for the relationships of other women - they are incredibly selfish beings and will wreck a peaceful home with no consideration whatsoever for the damage they do to children or families...ask me how I know - had my childhood destroyed by a woman that could not leave my father alone and wound up forcing me from a solid upper middle class living into a lower class apartment complex in another part of town, when "dad" left with the disrespectful whore and forgot about his kids...
Not same risk. Why would a woman with what she says is a good, faithful, supportive, and may more positive attributes in a husband. Cheat on him?
It seems to me that only men are criticized for exercising their options at their peak SMV.
True. But then again, the other side can really only criticize, and rarely can take action unless the man is dumb enough to make himself vulnerable.
It is probably be preferable to be the one with the options, rather than the one with no options except to complain.
100% facts. Also, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that cheating, as a male, is just evening the playing field. Here’s why.
1. Women are fickle. They’ll leave when u least expect it. Could be a year, could be 20 years. A man having multiple women is natures way of balancing out women’s fickle and disloyal tendencies.
2. Women ALWAYS have options. They are ALWAYS being pursued. We don’t have this as men. It’s something we have to cultivate. And earn.
Dont pressure men to get married or pressure them for an exclusive relationship. A man who has children is doing EVIL by cheating and threatening the family. So if a man refuses to get Tubal Ligation and force his wife/fiance to get a Tubal Ligation and doesnt ensure his woman is only daily birth control is evil if he wants to cheat and destroy the life of his child. Dont have kids in the first place in that case. It is society/women's fault for forcing men.
@@rejectionistmanifesto8836 Try telling the Africans that!
@@hananokuni2580 when most white and black americans people under 50 years old are that way, why would I talk to Africans who seem more traditional like the Arabs?
As a successful man, I didn't cheat, but if I did it would have been because women throw themselves at you. I had many indirect and direct offers from beautiful women. It was very temping. They main reason I didn't cheat is because as a busy man you often don't have time, don't want the complications, don't want to risk your family, and also the prevailling sexual harrassment lawsuit. After I retired from a successful career at age 55, I became a college professor, and again - the women throw themselves at men in powerful positions.
Hypergamy
Oh my god that’s literally the worst profession if you’re successful and trying to avoid cheating. You’re surrounded by a bunch of horny 18-25 year old women who would bang their professor just for a better grade. 😂
You were tempted 😂
great point... and you'll NEVER hear a woman admit that women act this way, esp. towards married men.
@@maxdawgthe women are irrelevant. As he made clear he never touched any of them. All men have the same options. Even if the girl paraded herself in her birthday suit, sat in his lap and serenaded him, ultimately he has the control to either indulge her or walk away..🤷🏽♀️
Here is the unshakeable truth:
The less women you have in your inner circle of life the more Peace, Quiet and Freedom you will have.
The only women a man needs in his life are his wife and his mother.
Agreed, thus I only have 1 (but I'm lucky). Most men think having many women or being sexually active with many is some kind of an accomplishment. Seems like a DISASTER to me. Not worth the trouble or drama. 1 is hard enough, and I have a great one!!!
@@RandJ1996 Only kings and emperors were able to have harems. Since polygamy has been all but outlawed, many guys sleep around but there is no merit in procreation-free sex, its wasteful and unnecessary.
@@nolanmerchan5095 Yep, agreed.
HAHAHAHAH
For success you need energy, i have never ever seen a man who is successful at any field who does not have strong sexual energy. Basically sexual energy is life energy.
Let’s be honest. It’s not entirely a man’s fault. How often do you see a gorgeous woman with a broke man…..not too often. However, you get that same man and he happens to win a 50 million dollar lottery, he would have a different beautiful woman everyday. Even if she knows he’s married and has children, she would sleep with him and doesn’t care about his wife or kids. That’s the reality!
I’m not saying he’s not a piece of 💩 for doing it, but it takes 2 to tango.
It's entirely his fault, but, yeah, they don't just approach, they can be a bit forciful.
Women will throw themselves at a successful man, and the temptation is no easy to resist, look at the line of girls lining up at the door for rock musicians or sports stars
Marriage is between the two parties that have that marriage license...... not the persons outside of it. If one person doesn't bang the husband or wife, another will
It's the man's choice to accept or to reject what a woman is offering. No one is pointing a cocked gun at his head and telling him to accept or else.
@@o.x.p And many are those who don't understand well their own inner nature. It's natural for a man to desire more than one woman, but it isn't necessarily beneficial. On one side the man gets more in the offspring department, but on the other he will have to invest resources in ensuring that they make it to childbearing age. Sometimes the resources are lacking, which is why more than a few men go with the "cuckoo strategy". Procreate with several female partners and have other men provide the resources to help raise the offspring.
A woman is of course going to seek the best mate for her offspring, but competition for a narrow pool of suitable males can _in extremis_ become bad for a society. I just think that in modern society women lack real incentives to have children by anyone who isn't in the top 20% of males, as opposed to dwelling on a fantasy because it's emotionally safer and because the environmental pressures of today are not as severe as the ones of the past. At least in the past women and men alike were more realistic.
I think that one reason why monogamy never really went away is that for a man it's less resource-intensive to look after the offspring of just one or two women, than to do so for several women. Though, probably the most important reason for the rise of monogamy -- even before the advent of the concept of private property that made monogamous relationships more useful socioeconomically -- was to *prevent inbreeding.* Inbreeding is a frequent cause of deadly congenital diseases and thus it was important to prevent siblings from breeding with each other.
Personally speaking, when I became successful, the number of women who approached and pursued me was incredible. That’s just the way it is but I then learned it is easier to become successful then to be successful.
What type of field are you in?
Didn't get that last quote. Easier to become successful than to be successful.. ?
Da what?
That is truth
@@eladbari It is easier to attack than it is to defend.
Successful men can cheat but not all do. I have successfully being faithful to my wife for 33 years now. I have a lot going well in my family and my own life, after working hard for very long. Can't think why I should throw everything away so casually.
How much do you earn? And how tall are you
@@NyakzOTSD I earn enough to do whatever I want with my time, possible because I have a modest life. The details to that is I stopped employment 25 years ago and have divested 85% of my assets to my children.
I am 5 feet 10 inches or 178cm.
@@jaytan915 Respectfully, I wouldn't call you a top-tier man! That is ok. But salute to you for living the life you want
@@NyakzOTSD Don't know anything about top-tier. Maybe you lose when you start comparing.
Everyday I just try to be my better self, do what I think is right and work harder the next day. Anybody can do that and it tends to get better with time.
@@NyakzOTSD what’s a top tier man?
I am a woman and I feel you are one of the few men in here now a days who can communicate the truth bluntly and state cold facts without feeling the need to down women. I hate the gender wars when the truth is both genders need each other.
100%
Another woman here who thinks he has it down to an art.
Please elaborate? Thanks (:@@roses6564
I’m guessing more men would cheat, they just don’t have the ability/option… success gives you both
Yes -- for many men, their faithfulness is less a virtue than an absence of opportunity.
💯
Nice vs courageous. Ppl are nice because they have to... they're not fierce enough to successfully not be. "Kind" or genuine giving is from strength... where one can successfully choose not to... but wants to because it's right.
Men who have the means, and yet don't cheat (even if by self limiting their opportunity N), because of self- respect, moral code or integrity of commitment... that's praiseworthy. And rare. Recognizing that the road of that self gratitude doesn't lead to anywhere of future long- term success, maybe elevates him out of the short- term game and into a longer and more permanent "game". Playing the long game (Godly morals for a spiritual reward in heaven and in life here) is the way out of that so-called evolutionary trap.
sure but that's a blessing in disguise if you already have a good woman
Kindness is giving with no expectation of reciprocation
I have seen a study that shows that the most financial freedom a woman has the more she cheats and or is promiscuous.
Honestly at this point I’m to believe it makes sense. Loyalty on either side is a waste of time. Yes loyalty for maybe the first five years of the union or prenup marriage to secure the paternity but a waste of a time then for any woman wanting to get married to just about any guy it seems unless the guy is bodily disabled.
@@AB-sm1qf Way to miss the point. The point is the higher on the totempole a guy is, the more likely to cheat. If women were concerned with loyalty they wouldnt be sharing the top, they would go to the guys with a little less fortune, perhaps a little less wellgroomed. Like people from trades.
But women dont want that. So many women look down on trades its amazing.
They don't have the insecurity of needing a man, and so don't see the risk of cheating the same because the tradeoffs of a committed relationship (fidelity for provisioning) aren't as urgent.
Based on what I've seen and experienced, I would say this is true. It makes sense though. If the husband finds out and leaves, her lifestyle doesn't change, so there's really no repercussions on her end.
The more financially free a woman is, the more she behaves like a man
A lot of men feel they MISSED OUT on the fun of multiple women because they were working so hard or they weren't attractive to women until afterwards. Now they want what those experiences they always wanted to get.
Every time I have had multiple women they end up talking to each other. It spoils my mood and becomes distracting.
so like a lot of women when they are young? it's like all things are balanced or something.
When this happens to a man it’s a midlife crisis.
When it happens to a woman she’s finding herself.
I 100% agree
I think there's some truth to this. I think men have been taught to just "suck it up". When a man works 65 plus hours a week he should not complain. In our current time we work hard for very little. This coupled with the sense of purposelessness is a recipe for wanting to explore what we believed we missed out on.
3:47 This is a key point. By the time that men start to become more attractive to women, which is their early thirties, they have already gotten married. Hence, when they are married, they get more attention from more attractive women. It may also be the case that the woman a man married in his 20s may not be the woman he would have married if he had met her in his 30s when he has more options.
Anyway, some reasons why successful men cheat 1) more attention from attractive women than when he was younger (obvious) 2) many men get tired of only being with their wives and like variety, this is especially true if the frequency of sex has declined in the marriage 3) the motivation for many men to become successful is to get more and more attractive women; most men wouldn't care about success if they were only get the same women they would have dated when they were broke 4) status - men are judged highly by both men and women if they can get beautiful women. When certain men want to feel superior to other men, they often say I get more/better looking women than you and people think this is a valid measure of superiority 5) making up for lost time/sense of revenge, a lot of successful guys were ignored by women when they were younger and are bitter, hence, cheating and treating women poorly is their form of revenge. 6) because they can; many men don't cheat because their wife/girlfriend will leave them and they will develop a bad reputation. For successful guys, their wives/girlfriends are less likely to leave since they like their lifestyles and it's unlikely they will find someone better. Many wives of successful men know their man cheats, they just don't want to be publicly embarrassed. Also, even if a successful man has a reputation as a cheater, women will still fight to be with him. Women rather share the king than have a peasant all to herself. Also, no one is really surprised when they hear that a successful man cheated hence, there is not much of a negative stigma. 7) Cheating is just treated as a perk of success and they think nothing of it. Similar to how beautiful women receive free things from men and don't have to pay to get into clubs and don't think about it, many men see cheating as a similar perk. 8) Biology - it's the male biological imperative to sleep with multiple, attractive women. Society tries to suppress this urge by promoting monogamy and marriage and shaming cheating and promiscuity but, it still exists
Crazy enough this is why in the past women married older men. The value of men and women aren't compatible. Their rate of success happens at completely different stages in life. Women have value when born, while men create value which normally doesn't start to manifest until their 30s and 40s.
One of the best explanations here bravo 💯
"It may also be the case that the woman a man married in his 20s may not be the woman he would have married if he had met her in his 30s when he has more options." this right here. Men often marry women that in their 20s that they are not really into if they are more successful and have options.
why is that comment not on the top and has so few likes ?
The best explanation. Well said. Facts! 💯 true. I’m tired of people trying to cover up the truth and shame others for infidelity. My ex cheated on me and I eventually thanked him for setting me free so I can be happy, build my career, live my purpose, and finally meet the man of my dreams. So, him cheating with my so-called best friend was a blessing. I’m super happy! I was tired of catering to someone who never appreciated me. I met him in I was 20 and he filed for divorce when I was 40. The person we were 20 years earlier is not the same person today. He become a major airline pilot when he filed. I was a homemaker without a career, but within 7 years, I make more than him and I met a man who makes more than me. Money isn’t the main reason. I had doctors a, lawyers, and pilots interested in me, but I am super selective. I wasn’t looking. I was alone for 7 years, but a mutual friend introduced us and we have been together for 2 years. Our love is growing stronger and we are committed and exclusive.
I really like this video. No one openly acknowledges what everyone knows.
Damn!! Way to go addressing this topic Dr‼️
👍 Right on. Makes perfect sense 👍. I couldn't agree more on the mechanics of the process, personally I hope to remain faithful as the years and the growth goes on. Thanks for all the great content 🙏
“It’s the point the hierarchy even exists in the first place” ….damn that’s deep
Thanks for your input in this DR. This points out the flip side of Hypergamy that doesn’t get talked about
the flipside: men bust their ass to have access to better and better-looking women. it involves a shit ton of something called, "hard work."
unlike hypergamy... which women are born with and it just NATURALLY EXISTS as a part of their nature... with no work put forth while desiring & demanding better & higher-achieving men.
one of those two things deserves a little more 'credit' than the other.
Extremely thought provoking! Never would have even considered this to be a thing, go figure
I never wanted to have affair. When I was dating or married.
If I wanted another female, I would just break up or divorce. Reason I see it as a contract and i would not sacrifice my values as a person over a female. It would change me down to my core.
I think ppl that never had attention, finally receive it. Then leads down that road and a lack of values.
I never carried about females attention or whatever. Had it always but did I use it? Of course as in what I find was fun. Never once did I cheat. Now if I broke up with someone. Of course I had another in line (doesn’t mean I dated them, either). I am pretty much up front no filter.
I don’t think any female on this planet could replace my wife. She does everything for me and our children.
She sacrificed everything to be with me. Seeing all these videos good luck to you all.
If you see them as females and not people, why get married in the first place?
@@Nerobyrne I was wondering the same thing.
@@Nerobyrne he already married a woman and that is how she became his wife. The rest are just some other females. If are sensitive about genders (I still insist there are only 2 btw), then you are free to replace the word 'female' with 'person' :)
@@mojekonto9287 so the only female that's also a person in his life is his wife.
Got it.
While you two are getting triggered and slip into your Karen mode, point out where he implies females dont deserve respect or common decency? Or shouldnt be treated like persons?
I totally agree with you Dr. Orion
I never had to cheat even though I always could and never understood it. I am very successful with women and enjoy the intimacy of one person. If things went wrong I would just go get a new girl. However I do notice how jealous they get if they think you are cheating or if you are going to break up with them. I just find it upsetting that some find it exciting that their man could cheat. It's like the more women that want you, the bigger the catch they think they have. That you must be more valuable because all the others want you. Like you actually have to prove it to them every now and then to let them know it's real. Why can't they just know what they have and be content.
"It's like the more women that want you, the bigger the catch they think they have."
You're entirely correct. This phenomenon even seems to have a name (I think someone called it preselection bias), but basically it takes time for a woman to tell if a man is a good catch. If a man has four other women chasing behind him, then other women know (actually assume, they only think they know) that at least four women checked him out and decided he is a good catch.
In other words, it's kind of a brand name. If everyone is buying one kind of beer and ignoring the rest, then it'll probably make you think that this one particular beer is the best, right.
He just told you. Most men exercise delayed gratification because we are born useless. We make ourselves successful for access to women then we exercise our options. If you start out being successful with women, there is no gratification to delay you were always gratified. Also those type of men usually peak in highschool.
women content HAHAHAHAH
1. women generally want what they can't have.
2. women want a man that could cheat but won't.
3. pre-selection is REAL: the easiest way to get a woman is to already have one (esp. if she's happy).
4. women want a man other men want to be like or follow... and that every woman wants to herself. she wants to feel chosen by a top-notch man.
5. the words, "content" and "settle" do NOT exist in the female dictionary... and barely in the vocabulary. iow, they are NEVER SATISFIED so it makes no sense to even try. play #;s 1-4 to the best of your ability and enjoy the ride (and the pussy).
A few years ago, this top-shelf well-educated white hot guy was pursuing me, but he is now married and I'm upset. I sincerely hope he can cheat on his wife. The slightest attention I get from him in the future means the world to me. I bet his wife is not as pretty as me. He is super tall and handsome. 😢 I have always been chased by alphas but now that I'm 37, my age works against me irrespective of my attractiveness. 😾 I am just bitter and angry that I lost all my chances with top-tier men because they want younger women and I hate older men. I am secretly in love with him. ☺️☺️☺️
My general rule of thumb is that boredom is people greatest fear and they act upon it . Cheating is a great escapede from boredom.
I think there's a lot of truth to that. I also believe resentment can stem from the boredom. If a man feels bored he most likely also feels somewhat neglected. A lonely person isn't lonely because they are with themselves but rather because there is nothing else to connect with. The lack of human understanding and connection is what fuels the sense of desperation. Cheating can also be seen as a way someone feels alive thus, on a subconscious level prolonging death and not feeling cheated by their boring life.
@@user-op7uc6jb9kwhat you said is absolutely true!
careful what you wish for. "Life was easy when it was boring" - The Police
My uncle was successful and he cheated on his wife with various women he met on the job. Wife found a huge stack of love letters written to him from his various affairs (it was his “war medals” that he cherished). He is a narcissist who abused his wife and children mentally and never ever admits wrong doing.
When men do this they are narcissists. When women do this they are just normal women.
Two sides to every story
@@StrongBodyandMind33sure Buddy, just can’t accept some ppl are cheaters
@@ajakakakak ya buddy 😉 don’t worry about what other people are doing
@@StrongBodyandMind33 takes one to know one…👍🏽
End goal of male ambition and drive : secure better access to women .It is what it is
Absolutely excellent video sir
you are sooo on point in everything
This guys thought process is ELITE
Hey Dr Taraban, this was a really interesting video because it's a question many ask but can't seem to find a satisfactory answer to. delayed gratifiation is definitely overlooked as well as how gender differences manifest in a physical, psychological and societal way. Jason Momoa (Aquaman) and the late Chadwick Boseman (Black Panther) hit their breakout box office success with their solo movies at 40. Both got married around that time too. Robert Downey Jnr had his mainstream success with Iron Man at 43.
The Ring of Power analogy is really helpful because it proves that without a sense of divinity we will fall easily into corruption. Men, and Dwarves were too carnal, but the Ishtari (Wizards) and the Elves, were wise enough to understand the magnitude of evil contained within such a small thing and its consequences. Hobbits are depicted as a less glorious/impressive "race" with a strong connection to family, community and nature. Perhaps that and their sense of duty and hard work made them the right people to guard the ring; they're kinda like innocent Man in Eden.
This wisdom is soo enlightening thank you
Spot on Doc!
Great and very interest concept.
You have a lot of great videos. This one is in an elite group of your top videos.
The only channel I'm subscribed to on YT...
Agree 100%, I’ve said essentially the same thing for years.
Sir! You have explained this behavior the best I've ever heard. Bravo!
Powerful men definitely don't destroy their reputation from cheating - nobody cares
if anything it gives them a boost. They lose a lot of money but they get it back easily. It's completely rational.
Some do and some don't.
If a person has a reputation as a badboy already no one will care. However if that person has a reputation as a boy scout then the outrage will be magnified. If Lebron ever gets caught he is losing a lot. If a troublemaker in the NBA gets caught no one cares.
The mayor of Toronto was just busted in an affair and resigned immediately to significant outrage, because his image is that of a boy scout. If Doug Ford who is the premier of Ontario did the same thing no one would care, he has a badboy image.
@@timothybogle1461 First off politicians are a very niche example. Obviously this doesn’t apply to them. Second, vast majority of politicians are not actually wealthy. They’re funded and propped up by donors. This is pretty irrelevant to the issue.
@@patrickmcmanus1360 Bill Clinton got sucked off in the oval office and nobody cared, the media made a big deal but did his approval ratings go down?
No good partner cheats
Considering the man is in a healthy functional, marriage and especially when he has created a family, this is just rationalizing honestly. The success should benefit the family he helped to create. Most men that have divorced from cheating and had to suffer the consequences of breaking up their homes, hardly ever say it was worth it.
As opposed to women who cheat and walk away with half your shit and socially unblemished because rationalizations.
By being honest from the start that 'you aren't necessarily monogamous' would give the potential partner to decide if they want in on such a relationship agreement. This type of honesty would prevent such unwanted relationships.
They don't know.
I agree that many or most successful men were driven to get there by a desire to make themselves more attractive to high value women. An often overlooked problem is that when the man “ages out” of the attraction game as a senior citizen, It becomes hard for him then to feel self actualized. Young, attractive women are no longer interested, and the old man looks back on all that hard work and ambition and wonders if it was worth it. If he still has significant wealth or power, some women may still show interest, but the age difference becomes socially off-putting to everyone. What then can the old guy do to remain relevant and fulfilled? As I’ve entered this stage in life myself, I see a lot of peculiar behaviors in other men of my cohort that end up characterizing them as classic “dirty old men”. They often continue behaviors around women that by then are just silly.
You’d be surprised how many younger women go for a lot older men. Learn some game and how to be sexy to women without relying on your status or money (old men should already have that)
Very wisely said Dr. Taraban! Thank you for your insights!
The reward for success in any field is the ability to be the exception to the rule.
nicely put
I think you're entirely accurate. Great vid.
Your stance and channel are brilliant. You arrived at my conclusion that most alpha guys get married to start a family protectively but you never know what happens behind the closed door. ❤👿
It could also be widespread human behavior but we mainly hear about it because of attention put on high profile individuals.
Better framing concealing your TV. Get a planter to the left of the TV - will breakup all the straight lines. Also, reduce the headroom leaving your image in the top 1/3. vertically.
Thank you. I believe it comes down to being unhappy and/or unfulfilled. In short things become stale for them and interest dwindles. Sadly, when that passion is lost, many will look elsewhere for it. For some people, it is a power thing - they are so successful, they are so used to always getting their way, they start to feel entitled to whatever they want. I don't even think it's about whether someone is happy or not, some people will cheat because they like the thrill of doing something that they know is wrong.
it comes down to not being able to talk to their partner about their wants and desires.
@Nerobyrne
No sir. My wants are desires are threesomes. Because I'm polygamous. But she wouldn't agree to that.
@@Nerobyrneit all comes down to the cheater choosing to cheat. That’s it that’s all. People cheat because they want to and act on it. Has nothing to do with their spouse or their relationship. They can try to blame it on their spouse or their marriage but ultimately, nothing drove them into the arms of another but themselves 🥴🤷🏽♀️
@@iaminevitable_ if you view it as an isolated act, then you lose sight of the bigger picture.
Yes, if a person chooses to cheat, they need to face the consequences.
But if that's where your analysis stops, then in your next relationship, you'll have the same unaddressed problems. Maybe this time they'll only result in a break up. But that's a break up you could have prevented if you bothered to look beyond a single action.
TLDR: Those who lack vision are doomed to failure.
What you say makes sense but also when one becomes successful then access to more attractive women is easier so there is that temptation that didn't exist before. Also I was under the impression that a lot of successful men are socio and psychopaths.
Good Job!
It's 100% true. I am an example of a man who is fully conscious of this. In fact, I've found it a good source of motivation when all other sources have dried up (for years at that), and I can't bring myself to care about anything of a higher order (such as altruistic or humanistic or patriotic undertakings), even if I try to.
Oh, except the cheating part. I disdain it, so I prefer to set it up that way it won't be cheating, neither in name nor in practice.
I can certainly understand the temptation, but in the end it still sounds like “they’ve spent their whole lives working for a chance to destroy their lives.”
”For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil, but in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword.“
Proverbs 5:3-4 ESV
True
Good Point. There are some exceptions also. Justin Trudeau, famous Hollywood actor James Stewart, Hugh Jackman and his wife, Peter Seeger and his wife etc
A lot of behavior that seems counterintuitive in creatures all over the planet begins to make a lot of sense when you consider it from the angle of successfully passing on one's genes.
3:00 - we are absolutely aware. we've been aware since middle school. if you are not good looking, you'd better have a skill that makes you popular. when you are an adult, being successful (aka ability to garner resources) is absolutely a skill that makes you popular.
Spot on.
What if success entails making a deal and having an entity attachment. So having something else pulling for behaviors that may or may not be normal for a solo guy, or unsuccessful guy. I see a new meaning to compromised position
Reminds me of when Tiger Woods did it. I always felt comedian Bill Burr put it best. Paraphrasing, but imagine if everyday when you got off work at the office or the plant, there was a literal tour bus full of super-model-beautiful women waiting outside, all wanting to hook up with you, standing between you and making it home.
Your fellow psychologist, Bob Guccione, phrased it thus: "If it floats, flies, or fornicates, Rent do not Buy. You will save money in the long run!"
Thanks!
This and all of this!!!
This is all true I agree. And I'm not bringing this up to refute or dull your point because it's all facts. BUT...I do feel like I have to point out that men who had success with women in high school and college tend to want the stability of marriage after they've had their fun. I'm a successful 43 year old man who's never thought of cheating on his wife because of the costs associated. I got over trying to sleep with as many hot women as I possibly can when I saw what a toxic ambition that is in reality. All the lying you have to do. The people you hurt and affect. How selfish it really is ultimately and what a waste of time and resources that it costs. Being married has way more payoffs than playing the field. And I never had problems getting girls at any point in my life. I'm no model but where I'm from women find me appealing and I was aware of this fact since I was 16.
Still working on not only saying what you did in your statement, but believing it in my bones. I’m so lucky to have the girl I do but I have to explain to her everyday how I still feel biologically drawn to want to have frivolous sex. I blossomed later in life after a youth of sex deprivation and women throw themselves at me more than they ever have. It’s nowhere near Leo Di level, and it’s often very subtle, but I feel their energy.
There are studies that show men and women with high IQ are significantly less likely to cheat on their spouses.
Reminds me a fair bit of the gods of Greek mythology - Mars, Apollo, Zeus and company had kind of wandering eye. They were a lot like powerful men, it’s interesting that people have been pondering this phenomenon with their stories for over 2,000 years.
For the sense of fellow women, i don't want them being played thing. A women is a human being who have feeling and logic. It seems man forget when they cheat. I pray to God to deal with this cheater.
SUCH a hole to poke in this theory
-Obviously those who have prioritized wealth and success, greed and dominance, are going to continue looking for fulfillment in ways that will ultimately lead to the same empty place, because they are on the wrong path. Their path does not lead anywhere good. These are not good men. Maybe in your eyes they are. But think about a society in which all men acted on these impulses? This is when strong character comes into play. This is what draws the line between the good men, and the weak. Between men who can live with themselves, and men who have trouble living with themselves. Between men who are respected, and men who are not. Between someone you want to be friends with, and someone you do not. This is the line between someone you can rely on, and someone you can not. Grit. Responsibility. Discipline. Honesty.
Some people got it, and some people don't.
-I'm just saying THIS IS NOT "every man's dream". You sound like a fool.
Been watching you for a long time now... but I can feel the ideas tilting in a certain direction. Very lame.
also side note, that video about the tinder matches for 50 year old men... How about you prove that it isn't just young girls trying to take advantage of a rich middle aged man? Because yeah, I am in my 20s, and I listen to girls talk, and they're not trying to be in actual relationships with these old men.
Agreed, breathing-- the direction this channel is going in is definitely tilting. I'm not interested in justifications of men's lower natures, by way of "explaining" it through evolutionary biology.
We ALL (men and women) have a higher and a lower nature, which one do we serve?
And as a female, I too hear women talk about how older guys with money are for using to get a certain lifestyle. NOT for being in a real connection with, "for better or worse/richer or poorer".
It's laughable when men delude themselves into thinking the young girls actually care about them. Just watch what happens when the market has a big downturn or the man's business tanks.
I'd actually welcome hearing about highly successful men who put their marriages and children first. Who get successful so they can provide more security, higher education, world travel, best health care, etc. for their nearest and dearest. They are the high-integrity men and while they're rare, I do know a few and respect the hell out of them. Wish there was a channel that gave THEM their due recognition instead of extolling the "virtue" of men like Di Caprio by giving him credit for not marrying.
The thing is, women are born with their value in the sexual marketplace (and must preserve it), while men have to become valuable in the sexual marketplace (money, status, game, looks). You wont see too many good looking women wifing up an average looking man, with no money but men do not care about a womans finances and status generally. If he finds her attractive and likes her personality he is game.
Societally, when a man can attract a lot of women it signals value because it is hard to do. There is a big misconception I have notice among women that most men get the same kind of attention from the opposite sex that women do. It is not even close. For instance, on dating apps, men swipe right 50% of the time, women 15%. Thirty percent of men 18-30 are virgins or have been sexless in a year (less than 10% for women). I will agree its not every mans dream, but any man who gets approached by women a lot after years of getting none will likely have a hard time saying no.
@@elbee1290 I'd like to hear about women doing all the things you list in the final paragraph for their families. Why don't we?
Hot girls like older rich men. They say they won't but will always go home with them in a classy bar. There's something interesting about them
Just a quick question. What kind and where did you get this degree that enables you to think you know more than a psychologist with a degree? His theories are based on data. Your's are based on feelings. Nice try though. I'm sure there are plenty of illiterates that will agree with you though.
Hey You Are Telling The truth.
The internet has gotten people confused about the line between successful/rich people and average people. What the top percent can do, should not reflect what the average person can expect. Both men and women, unless your above average or beyond in either looks, money or fame you shouldn't expect to get the same special treatment.
Preach
I love the comment section. Eye opening.
The real question being missed here is, what is success?? This, I feel boils down to the heart of the individual. All men at some point must battle the demon/illusion of what we are told success is.
Success is power, no matter what kind of state it comes from.
Success is being able to provide and afford the life you want without needing a woman to go 50/50. That's a position of weakness if you have to depend on a womans mood for your livelihood.
They think money and power will make the existential dread go away lol
Hi Orion @psychacks,
The more I understand about the nature of human sexual behaviour, the more I am coming to a conclusion that all of this is a complete mess!
Those men who are needy for sex will be ignored, those men who are not needy for sex will be desired by women, women will ruthlessly change their partners only based on their overall security needs, and choose such high value men who can cheat them potentially.
So, where is the love? Can you please make a video on this topic, Orion?
Completely agree Maverick.
Have always attempted to be honest and keep both parties happy.
Good luck.
Seems the rules always change in the women's favor, at least recently.
Love is a very NEW phenomenon in mating and dating. Love is not what kept people together for most of history, its necessity.
@@drecool85 yes true its a necessity...BUT ITS DENSE AND INTENSE!!... much much more than our biological imperatives....you're talking history...so Manny people in history have created so much mess just for this necessity you call "love"
Excellent
I was warned about this by my father. To counter the need to access women at work, or the attractive young ones that throw themselves at you, I have a rotating cadre of attractive and smart escorts. I also have a counselor/therapist who is useful when I "need to talk". I see these resources as asset management strategies to avoid being involved in an affair that could threaten my family and business. Thankfully, I am not a notorious enough figure in my community as to make me a target of blackmail or demands for more attention. Very useful and sensible topic that young men should be informed about. Thank you.
Poor Frodo 😥... Corrupted by the ring and then it had to get bitten off of him to be free of its power.
Tony Montanna was right, and even teenaged boys know this hence why they spend so much time 'upgrading' their cars with spoilers, wheels etc. They are trying ti display wealth and status to get women. I'm 43 now and I was invisible to women when I was young, now I attract hot women of all ages in a way i never imagined was possible. Why? Success.
Many very successful businesses require narcissistic traits. There is a deep wound in the psyche of these individuals that causes a person to continue a behavior at these levels.
Orion is my new favourite name.😅
I’m 100% aware that most of my daily actions contribute to getting more and higher quality women. Sweating at the gym, reading psychology books, mastering the piano, etc. And honestly, it’s a blessing. Can’t imagine my life without this incredibly powerful motivation! Love you ladies ❤️
It's like the candy store analogy.
Consciously or not, men are highly driven by the desire to have access to women they desire. In a man's brain, it doesn't make sense to get the success and then be only restricted to one woman who might not even the best you can do according to your current SMV. All things being equal its better to not get married if you're super successful because you will be bound to one woman and risking losing it all when you decide to execute your many options.
I’m a 1% man. Risk is a factor but the driving need, the intoxicating desire is to ‘chase and conquer’ a hot woman. We want to feel the adrenaline/dopamine rush the ‘seek and conquer’ sets in and we chase. Getting and having sex is the reward but the real draw is ‘the chase’ to see if we can achieve the girl we set out to get. This is why ‘the reality’ of the actual sexual encounter will fall short of our effort and expectations. BTW- I’m married to a hot woman for 38 yrs. I still ‘feel the temptation’ but I never ‘act on it’. I chose to abstain.
First women, then power, then the money? Perfectly works for me since I was 18 having nothing but girls attention and inner power, now turned 30 I have money as well and it only starts
Yeah it’s true. In reality you can be sexy to women (especially younger women) without money or status or power. It’s called game which you must’ve learned
Young women don’t give a shit about how much money you make or your status. They just want to have fun
College is a perfect example. So many sexy women all in one place. They slept with bum guys all the time. No one has money there since we’re all in school broke
good psych overview
And women cheat without achieving anything
"The true mind can weather all things."
Brilliant
I can attest to this. Im about to cheat.
How are we defining successful?
Wow … so true. 😉
This one is Gold!! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Instincts and intellect are competing forces in human motivation. It's not all evolutionary sex drives. There are rational moral considerations too. Some people are motivated to do some selfless good.
Cheating is a symtom. Abit like having pain from a broken arm and concentrating on the pain, rather than fixing the broken arm. Happy committed people don't cheat, people who have the others best interest at heart don't cheat.
”Drink water from your own well- share your love only with your wife. Why spill the water of your springs in the streets, having sex with just anyone? You should reserve it for yourselves. Never share it with strangers.“
Proverbs 5:15-17 NLT
"Why do successful men cheats?"- because they Can...
...And because they couldn't until they reached that success.
and because women enable the cheating of successful men by happily giving them the opportunity to cheat.
This topic is absolutely fascinating! Thank you for sharing. But what is the difference between successful men that do end up cheating vs the successful men that don't cheat?
Looks, opportunity, morals/self control. I doubt Stephen Hawking got a lot of tail even tho he was successful. Mike Pence was vice president, among other things, yet he won't even have lunch with a woman besides his wife.
they either
a. don’t get caught
b. they make it clear to the woman they will have other woman and only keep the woman who agrees
The women... If you're a woman of high value, young, feminine, loving, caring, nurturing, good looking, kind, loyal, sexually available, not annoying, don't nag... This woman has more of a chance of not getting cheated on. I'm not saying it won't happen, but it's less likely. If you're a woman that leaves your high value man horny or you put conditions on sex, you're playing yourself... He has access to lots of women, he will go have sex with them.
This is just a guess but maybe the amount female attention or sex they received before becoming successful. Someone who's been able to get women won't have that much desire to cheat.
It could also be the quality of the woman he's with. Was she there from the start before he was successful? Did she have a lot of partners before the relationship? I meet a lot of women in their 30s with triple digit body counts who are only into me now that I'm successful. I want a committed exclusive relationship but with those women I know there's no way I could turn down other options and respect myself, they've given me no reason to be loyal.
very good. most adults are aware
Men get married to secure a base on which to build their success as married men are deemed to be more stable. They also want someone to take care of their home as they pursue profitable goals.
sometimes...it is the other way around
Because they can. Their wives look the other way because they value status over loyalty
A man who has wealth will naturally and instinctively want to reproduce. If they have less, the instinct will also be less. All species usually reproduce when there is abundance and humans are no exception.
The more value a man is the more he has to loose from an affair.
A high value man has easy access because of the imbalance in the value transacted.
Exactly
If you are really successful some of these women really throw themselves at you. Bill Burr has a good routine on this.