How to Stop Compulsive Lying
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- čas přidán 5. 08. 2024
- There are many reasons why someone might compulsively lie, and if you are watching this then you may be someone who is sick of compulsively lying. In this video I talk more about the reasons why people lie, and I'll share 7 tips you can use to start being more honest.
All references and sources can be found on the original article here:
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If you need further help right now with compulsive lying, try my guaranteed audio session :
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++ Video highlights ++
00:00 Introduction to How to Stop Compulsive Lying
00:13 "I'm a compulsive liar!" A case study
01:15 Do you lie?
02:24 What causes compulsive lying? Why do we lie?
04:02 Tip 1. Be true to yourself
04:55 Tip 2. Remember the truth is often easier
05:28 Tip 3. Know what lying is
06:16 Tip 4. Stop compulsive lying to protect your reputation
07:18 Tip 5. Stop compulsive lying one step at a time
08:16 Tip 6. Stop compulsive lying by meeting your emotional needs honestly
09:28 Tip 7. Use self-hypnosis to stop compulsive lying
========================================================
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i'm mostly an honest person, but out of nowhere i will make up crazy intense lies. i don't know why, i hate it. i always take it too far with the lie too. i don't even understand why
I found this now much later. But if you are something like me, you might feel that your own person, cunning and life isn't interesting enough. I tell such tales because I want others to find me interesting and not reject me. I can't make myself just tell people I did nothing during the weekend. I need to have seen or done something quirky or interesting at least.
It feels so good to get the attention and laughs from people around me. Without the big tales I feel as if I'm only included because people pity me...
Me too I lie so much it’s horrible I take it too far it’s crazy I lie about my life my parents my sisters my family it’s bizarre I feel terrible and the worst thing Is is I do it to the people around me the people who are closest they all are believing in a lie which is me and I can’t stop I have to live on the lie because I can’t just come out and say my life was a lie because everyone’s gonna leave I need a new start but I can’t just start over I’m stuck
I feel really bad as well. I've made up crazy lies and I did it so much. I think I did it because I wanted the attention. The worst part is they believe me. It makes me feel even more bad because I know what I'm doing is wrong and I can't stop.
@@czzy_no2434 me too! They all believe me and I take advantage of it I can’t stop
Aa
The fact that you guys came to watch this is a first step to improvement in itself!!
Good luck everyone 👍
this made me really happy. i just know you’re a bright light in your loved ones lives!
Thank you so much.
Ty
thanku
Thank you, I needed to hear that
For me, my constant lying came from a place of caring too much about the opinions of others. Other bad habits like people pleasing seemed to go hand in hand with the lying as I simply could not see myself as "worthy" or "enough."
Regularly forgiving myself rather than being hard on myself when I fall short seems to give me that foundation of self esteem.
Slowly I am improving each day by trying to increase my awareness of anticipating a lie. Sometimes im successful, other times not so much. But I keep a record of most incidents and I am happy to report the trend is going towards less and less lying.
So for all my fellow recovering compulsive liars out there who don't know how to begin the process of changing your behaviour....
Forgive Yourself.
I'd rather say No when I mean no cause I dont like myself very well when I say yes when I mean no Peasing others is ignorant
I feel better when I give an honest answer I feel pleased with myself
Forgive yourself
Stop the lying behavior
Learn to say no
Practice saying no when the opportunity arises the minute it strikes say no
Not today
Find your own way to say no
not every ones going to like you
And that's okay just
Say NO when you mean no say yes when you mean yes
you can do it
Antichrys Well said
Thank youuu for the word ❤️
This describes it a lot, though for me the root of my lying comes from my mom. When I was younger she was terrifying to me, trying to tell her anything freaked me out half the time. I didn't want her to suddenly blow up in my face like she had done multiple times. So I lied. I lied so I wouldn't have to deal with her, I lied because I actually did really care about what others thought of me and I still do, I lied because I got so used to lying I did it without really thinking... I haven't tried keeping a journal but it seems like it helped you, so I'll give it a go. Thank you!
❤❤❤💙🌷
I'm a compulsive liar and I do it to get attention. I hate myself and I can't stop 😔😔😔😔😔
I have the exact same problem. I want to stop but I can't. the words just slip out.
@@themurderouslankyman3630 I promise myself every morning that I won't lie today but I always end up doing so 😔😔
hi can we talk in private?
@@dhiabenzineb9745 why?
Just keep a reminder before talking to anyone.
Just reading through the comments makes me cry. I’ve never met or encountered anyone who is a compulsive liar. I had never felt more alone until now.
Same here
same i’ve been feeling very scared because sometimes i don’t realize how bad it is till i’m confronted and i’m just shocked because i don’t know what to do
@@Olive-cp4nu i feel you 100%. I one time lied to one of my previous boyfriends and i told him...
1. That my brother(who doesn't exist) was in the air force and he came back. But then he shot himself in the head and i watched it. then my cousin(who doesn't even exist) threw him over the bridge into the river. This story traveled and the cops ended up coming to my house and talking to me.
2. i said that i fell off a horse when i was horse back riding in Canada(I have never been to Canada a day in my life) at she aunts house(who again doesn't exist). i even had the guts to say that i go to Canada every year. then i said that my mom was lying to me this whole time about her being my mom and long story short my mom(who's not a lie) is actually my aunt and my aunt(who is a lie) was actually my mom. and then because of that i made up this whole lie that my "mom" who is a lie, was in the air force and all this crazy shit for why she lied to me. then i said i had a sister named grace that i never knew i had because of the whole mom situation. then i said she got bone cancer and died.
3. i said i would get seizures whenever i run or if i get too sad or hot.
your not alone.
there's a lot more that i lied about but i wont waste your time with that. and i told a lot of people this awful awful lie. and when i came clean i found a lot of fake people. but the real ones stayed.so my advice to you is if your not scared of her leaving and if your not scared of her being a bit upset then i would just do it. tell her that you lied and tell this person why you did it. just say that your a compulsive liar but your rly trying to change. and no. your not just a bitch. because if you were you wouldnt have the guilt that you do.
@@chae1461 Wow. Thank you SO MUCH! I can't tell her the truth though :(. She told me I was giving her a lot of anxiety and said, "LEAVE ME ALONE" in all caps three times. I want to. But she would just be mad. I just hope God won't condemn me for it. That is my greatest fear.
You inspire me. thank you SO MUCH!
@@Olive-cp4nu I don't think god will condemn you. I am Christian and honestly god saved me from my lying ways. I STILL lie once in a while. But if you truly want to be free from the guilt and sin, just ask the heavenly father for fogiveness. he will not judge, but he will walk you to the right path.
I wanted to change my memories. I couldn't do it for myself so I'd try and change it for others memories of me.
Hi. I don't know if or how others interpret this message .. but I could never find the right way to explain my situation to loved ones but this.. this explained everything lol. Thanks!
This explains so much of myself. I lie about memories to make myself feel involved in life. Try to make people think I’m just like them, coasting through life without problems and making dreams come reality
Same and now I have “fake” memories that I completely believe but in reality did not happen at all
I also have the same problem 😔but after watching this video it will now help me to stop lying
I totally agree I do that to and hate myself for it
My entire life I thought I was the only person who felt this way. This comments section makes me feel seen. I don’t know why I lie, it started because my parents would ask if I got homework done and I’d say “Oh yeah, of course.” even when I hadn’t done a single bit. Then it turned into a huge problem and I began telling all of these intricate stories I made up in my head in order to feel special and I couldn’t stop. It’s hurt my relationships and made me feel absolutely horrible. I don’t want to be like this- but I’m glad I’m not alone in my struggle.
Me too
Same
i understand but you aren’t alone i’m currently going through the same thing and it’s awful it feels like sometimes they lies get too far and it’s hard being able to deal with it all but you know that you can’t just come out and say “hey i’ve been lying to you all this time” so you try to avoid the situation in hopes that it doesn’t come back and it’s not like you don’t know that lying is a a bad thing but it’s like a reflex and you just can’t stop yourself from doing it whether it’s because of attention or for fun or for some reason within you that you aren’t even sure of but just so you know you’re not alone when times feel rough
I'm going through the same thing, I even started making up random stuff about my life. I don't know why and I'm scared of it myself. I don't know how to improve...
Me too... 😢
I can't stop it. I have intricate stories about friends and family that don't exist and boyfriends I've had that didn't exist and pets and experiences. I don't even know why I do it, I hate it so much.
Hey- I can relate on this, I don’t know how to help cause I’m very wrapped up and very deep in but I’ve just thought of starting to just not talk about these things and just let them dwindle down, if that’s any help to you my friend
I’m in this same situation, but with girlfriends. I’m so deep in these lies that I can’t possibly come forward without losing every ounce of respect from those around me
@@Atchison.productions i ended up losing everyone. it felt like words were flying out of my mouth and i couldn’t do anything abt it. i ended up having to come clean abt it, now i have nothing and i’m lowkey struggling to stay.
@@dusty4219 Hey I've been there few months ago um u will always have yourself so myb u should work on yourself n take your time it'll be aight also m here if ya wana talk to smn👊🏽🖤
i can relate to that a lot, i’m not aware of why we do this but i hate it a lot, i’m so sorry you’re going through this, it’s terrible, i’m trying to stop but idk, i hope you’ll be able to stop
I really hate myself sometimes when I lie. I know it's wrong, and yet I can't stop. I know it's bad, and yet I can't do anything. I want to stop. I really do.
It's cute that you do tho...js!
How to stop 💔
@@pallaveekumari2080 why would you wanna know how to stop?
I lie because I wanted to be considered interesting, maybe I’m insecure about things I haven’t accomplished. I also used to
Believe you’d have to go through hell in order to be great but that evidently isn’t true
I grew up lying because I was afraid of what others would think of me.
-Edit;;
One year later, I'm progressing and improving myself slowly and slowly,
It was never easy and it was difficult, Every experience is, I hope you all take care and be safe. You'll go through this
Me too!
same!!!
Same… and now i cant stop doing it and its basically become a habit
Same
Eyy
My father used to yell at me till I cried as a child, and upon deep reflection, I think I lie to avoid conflict because of my previous experiences with it
The first step to changing your habit is to identify why you have it. I'm proud of you.
Never realized that lying is a form of theft, so true.
I’ve wrapped myself so far in lies that I believe them sometimes and I make up memories in my head that I think are real- I’d say things to sound cooler or more interesting- just because I don’t think I’m good enough, I love attention so I end up lying about something for attention but I end up hurting people but if I come out as lying about stuff no one will ever trust me not even the one I love, I don’t want
To unwrap the lies so I’m considering just slowly muttering them out
Into the gutter-
This is exactly what I am trying to do I don't wanna come out as lying bc then I'll lose everyone I love so I'm gonna do my best I know the truth always comes out but still I'm not trying to hide the lies I just wanna change myself and start to get out of this fantasy bc this isn't cool its a disease that spreads and slowly will make you crazy and then you will start believing in your own lies and fantasies and I don't want that I'm starting to believe I'm just like my real mother and I don't wanna be like her so I have to stop this bullshit and actually BECOME better but it's hard but I have to try I don't wanna lose my family and friends bc of this nonsense I keep on doing 😞
@@xcallmehaurora well I can tell you after a year, I’m long out of that, I’ve came past it, I still have a few loose ends but other than that I’ve not told any big stupid lies since, I hope well for you :)
Struggling with this so bad! 🫠
Just like me fr.
I’ve never felt so comforted reading comments in my life. I have lied ever since I can remember- I didn’t know why I did it, but after some therapy I now know that it came from self preservation from my alcoholic mother. I never knew what kind of mood she would be in, so I’d lie to protect myself. It then became a habit, a very very bad habit that I am still struggling to break. I am hoping that I can save my relationship with my boyfriend as I have hurt him so badly over the years. I don’t deserve his forgiveness really, as he has put up with so much but I can pray. Thank you all for commenting here, it has really made me feel far less alone.
I am a compulsive liar.
I have lost my relationship and I have lost respect from others due to my constant lying.
My ex has publicly exposed my many lies and cheating. She just told me to never speak to her again. It hurts to know that she is absolutely right in doing so.
How could I have lied to the person I was supposed to love the most?
I am starting my honest journey to break this habit, be honest with myself and others, and free myself of this vicious trap that has cost me everything at once.
I’m just realizing this at 24. My childhood was very chaotic.. I lie to do people pleasing and to hide my feelings. I never noticed it until I got on meds for my anxiety. Which probably explains why I lie I’m anxious of what others think about me the people pleasing and fear of them hating me after I tell the truth.
Hope your doing well
I'm a compulsive liar, and I am aware of it. However, everytime I say something true my brain tries to convince myself it's not true. So now I can't tell what's true and what's not because I can't remember. I've lost so many friends and it's so lonely. I feel like shit but I want to be better. I want people to believe that, and I want my friends back because I hate abandonment.
I know, friend. It sucks but I promise you, you are not alone. Nobody realizes how compulsive and miserable lying becomes. We begin to hate ourselves and so do the people around us.
I have the same problem
I started liying and i could not stop myself I wanted help...
Awesome In A Can I felt that
i am the same its good well not really to find people like me
Get help
I have no excuse for my lying. No abuse. No ptsd. Not because I want to seem normal.
Other than the constant lies to save myself from every little uncomfort or mistake in life, I have no other reason than that I feel the need to tell these exiting and out-there stories, exaggerate and change the truth to seem.. I don't know... out there? Experienced? Interesting? Sometimes I lie just because I can't stand silens or tension in any social situation.
I lie about my real diagnosis and give a much more empathetic and what I see as respectable reason to my needs and mental health issues. I wear my very much real eating disorder on my sleeve as I know that that part give me sympathy and positive attention
I feel that my real self is uninteresting. Not worthy to be one of the gang. I want to be admired. I want to be seen as quirky, exiting.
But most of all I am scared to death of one day being caught in a lie. I'm an actor with 15 years of acting and improvisation training. I have perfected lying and spinning tales. I have never not been able to explain away a big lie. But one day that day will come. And I'm so afraid.
I don't know if anyone will ever read this, but it felt so good to write it out. Don't know if I'm ready to change it. But I have realized that it is a part of my problems and it feels a little bit less chaotic in my brain
lol same here couldnt have written that any better
Your Quirk Same :(
This is exactly what I’m going thru
@@nnnnnnnira3962I'm sorry to hear that. It's a strange feeling to realize what you're doing, right?
I lied to this one person online a lot and not only did it bite me in the ass, but I can't tell her the truth or come clean. PLS HELP WITH ADVICE!
In total this is what I lied about:
1. I told her I had an apprenticeship at a dog training facility
2. I told her she was my best friend
3. I told her I had no irl friends
4. I told her I was suicidal (this is the one I hate the most because she has literal ptsd from that and lost someone close to that.)
5. I faked multiple ocd episodes
6. I faked multiple ocd rituals
7. I told her I was getting cool stuff for my dog when I wasn't
I am SO FUCKING SCARED bc I don't want to be a bad person. She told me to leave her alone after I came clean for that one ocd episode, and to not contact her again. What should I do? i can't tell if I am a compulsive liar or just a bitch. Am I a bad person???????
I use to lie about a lot of thing and I think I started to belive them. After some time though I found out how toxic I am and I started to feel People were seeing through me. So I changed. I still tell a little lie here and there but now the big ones are no more. I still look up these videos to help keep me on track.
I'm also a compulsive liar. I feel like an imposter in my own life. 💔💔💔 Im going to do everything I can to stop. If I am able to do it, I'll come back and edit this.
Edit: I'm doing better !! I don't lie as often anymore
EDIT: I don't lie anymore 💛😊😊
@@alleswatikkan Wow I have the exact same story! But I still live with my parents and I’m 17. They have neglected to me and emotionally abused me my entire life. They don’t believe in therapy so I can’t go until I move out. My parents are extremely strict so I picked up the habit of lying so I don’t get in trouble. Now I can’t stop and it’s ruining my life. I can’t wait for college. I’m a junior right now so I still have senior year left living with them🙄
I'm so proud of you.
@@painiwakura thank you 🥺💛
@@haleighclaiborne6292 how do we know you're not lying 🧐🤨
How about this month? And don't lie to us plz 😂❤
It is so good how many ppl came here to improve themself...we have accepted our fault and want to change thats the first step
I still have a struggle with lying. Sometimes I lie about my age, sometimes I lie about what I did during the week, sometimes I lie to seem more interesting, but overall it got SO MUCH BETTER. I used to lie about EVERYTHING. What has helped me is meditation and yoga, the more I'm accepting myself and being ok with who I am the easier it gets to not lie. I still lie. And I'm really working on getting through it, but I've started coming clean on my lies with some people and I think that's a huge step. I also have been able to pause before I go ahead with a lie and go with the "uncomfortable" truth. I'm saying this because change is possible. Being honest about the problem with friends is also huge, once you let the secret out of having a lying problem it seems to have less power over you. It's embarrassing but it's the way I found to be the most effective. I hope to be able to not lie compulsively any longer
i don’t lie to get out of trouble. if anything i always tell the truth if i make a mistake. i lie to get attention, to make my life seem more exciting. i’m in high school and i make up lies to my peers about things i’ve done that often affect other people. recently i’ve been practising calling myself out right after i lie and that has been working.
I really hate being a compulsive liar. I do it to make myself feel better and for others to think better of me, but it’s gotten to the point where I am now insecure of it. I just wish I didn’t feel the need to exaggerate every time I told someone a story. I feel if any if my friends or family found out about my compulsive lying habit, they would completely ostracise me and I don’t need to be left on the sidelines any longer. I am going to start trying to fix myself. Everyone knows me as this interesting bubbly funny girl and I am scared that if I stop the habit of telling exciting stories and whatnot I will lose my personality, the one thing I think is the only decent thing about myself.
Maybe you acknowledge your potential lies. E.g instead of saying that you went on the most dangerous ride at the funfair, you could be daringly honest and say, "I wish I could say I went on the most dangerous ride because everyone would think I was so brave. Instead, I just went on the Mad Mouse and then I waited while my friends went on the Crazy Critter but I was too scared to go on that." People often admire a very honest person so you may get credit for showing that you can face up to who you really are.
I habitually invent exciting stories about myself and recount them as truths. This video showed me I am not alone and, more importantly, pointed out to me the importance and viability of giving up this habit.
I have lost everything in my life do to my Compulsive lying. I have been caught time and time again always saying im sorry I will change and I never do or did I feel unworthy not only to all the people I have lied to but to God as well. I've let myself get twisted in my heart and mind I don't see a way out of this and I wish for death because it would be easier if that happened Im not into killing myself but if I was told I had six months to live I would feel relieved. I wish when I was young I didn't follow the road to lying but I did iv been stuck on it all my life. I feel so lost and alone but that's is my fault do to the lies and deceit. God I don't even know who I am anymore if I was to truthfully to tell someone I'm so ashamed
I keep lying and lying and lying. Is it for attention? I'm not sure. I feel as if I'm a narcissist trying to get sympathy out of people. I want to stop before this gets much worse. It's like I can't stop. But what if I tell someone that I lied about everything. I'm afraid. I wish I could just stop lying. I say these things when I don't mean to. It just slips out without my consent. What is my life anymore?
exactly!!
I feel the same, I want to change real bad, I'm gonna try my best to change, so I wish you good luck!!!
This is how I feel
Wow I’m in the same boat! I am struggling so bad 😢
I started dating this girl, Shes 18, im 21 and uh.. I cant stop myself from lying, I lied to her so many times.. Its really hard to stop. I suppose I do it to try to improve my "worth" or "value" to people. I completly admitted that i lied to her, I told her i wrote a song for her when i didnt. I really do love her. I really do.
I just lost the one person that meant anything to me from constantly lying for nothing
Its nothing important but i still did and now she's gone
I dont know what to do anymore
Amrit Daniel the first thing to understand is people love and accept you better when you don’t lie
Try being yourself, you may get back the people you lost😁
Amrit Daniel I have not lost anyone yet but I also dk what to do. I feel like I’ll never be able to regain my parents trust ever because of how many times I lied.
I have also done this
It's good you feel bad about it once u dont feel bad then u got a problem
I’m only 14 and I’ve been doing it since I was so little because I never had anything to talk about my life is so pain stackingly boring and I just can’t stand it. I don’t think most of my friends now I have a problem because all my lies are always small stories. I’m trying to stop I wanted to thank you it helped me a bit I never wanted attention I just wanted to fit in
Perpetual Videos realizing it at 14 is a blessing. You are still so young and it will be a lot easier to change your ways. I’m glad you realize now and don’t have to carry it with you into adulthood. You aren’t alone and you break free of it ❤️
I’m a compulsive liar because I have nothing good to be proud of so I live this fantasy world to make myself look amazing, I’m lazy and scared to go to work, so instead of working my ass off to get the nice things I should have I lie about the nice things I should have I lost my kids and wife to compulsive lying and now I’m trying to get the help to get them back
I'm glad you said it. It really is stealing. You can't claim to love or care about someone, then lie to them to get benefits. You're just stealing everything from them after you lie. You cannot have a real relationship with someone you are just lying to. It's sad.
I lied a lot as a teenager!
It was because I felt ashamed of small things, stuff my mother was ashamed of (she lied too).
I moved to a new city when I was 17 and told myself 'from now on, I'll be honest!'
And then I lied again, so when I moved to a new city at 19 I told myself the same thing!
But I lied again.
And then I met really honest people and I was super inspired. I found their authenticity made them so human and beautiful. I wanted to be like them!
And I stopped.
(I also stopped talking to my mother, I guess this helped too)
this is so great to hear! proud of u for thios :))
I feel really ashamed of my habits...my friend is way too kind to forgive me for my lies.
I feel grateful.... But i feel horrible cause if I do it again she will feel betrayed cause she trust me....
😭😭😭😔😔😔😔😔
I really wanna change but it is so hard so thank you for this tip..
I didn't even know I was truly lying till someone told me and when I realized the pain I have caused for all the people I lied to, I have never felt so guilty in my life. I just wish they could forgive me but it will probably never happen. I hate myself for hurting my friends and I don't ever want to do this ever again. I don't want to put my friends in even more pain than I already have. I hope that one day they will forgive me but they probably never will. The least I can do is change the way I am now.
I have the same problem and I really hate myself
Yes😔
I'm not that extreme, i tell lies that you will never actually find the true answer, small lies here and there, but they are still lies.
Me to 😔
Same, I just did today and I feel so guilty! I did it to seem more interesting and appealing but now I feel bad..
It's comforting to see that other people have the same problem as me
I remember the day when I started. 4th grade. It was so easy to make my life more than it was. I was so bullied that I had to create a life outside of school to make it look better. I wish I could stop. I’m going to stop. I’m determined.
I suspect another cousin is a compulsive liar as as well. She’s just better at it because she’s the golden child and I think she believes herself so much that people believe her. I can’t not embellish anything. I’m going to stop doing that.
My compulsive lying also started due to bullying... It sucks, but getting rid of the trauma and insecurity was the only way, for me to stop lying
I hope everything is going well for you now
I lie a lot I wish I didn’t I wish I was proud of my actions but I’m not I wish I could live in my truth but I can’t. My truth is ugly and harsh which is not how I think of myself. My truth is that I’m cheater and disobedient to simple boundaries. I’m tired of my bed of lies and I’m tired of guilt and I’m tired of it being my fault. I’m tired of tricking people it’s tiring worrying about “ we need to talk” as I run through the many things I’ve done wrong that to my knowledge hasn’t come to light. I’m tired of feeling unworthy all the time.
It's feeling unworthy, shame, and self-hatred that is at the heart of the lying habit. To start on the road to recovery, realize that your behaviors are not who you are.
Lying is the coping mechanism that your unconscious mind developed to protect you from harm. Because it is unconscious, the behavior is automatic.
Fortunately, anything the unconscious mind develops as a protective coping mechanism can be undone with the right therapy.
I'm very tired and scared of lying. Tired, because sometimes I realize that I have lied after I've done something and scared, because the lies kept coming out smoothly on my lips and more scared because I know if this kept going it might affect me and my future very much. Mainly the reason for me lying is to get attention and to be/have what everyone does (this occured in my teens(now)) and sometimes I'm just to scared to admit something that I would rather lie (been doing this since I was young because I was to scared of getting scolded). I am very very ashamed of myself and very much aware of what I am doing. I'm doing my best to change and I have gradually, I have more courage to admit my mistakes no matter the consiquences and stop lying with small things. But sometimes I still get cowardly or a lie slipped out of my mouth (but when this occurs I try to redeem my lie(if I still can)). I'm scared of loosing those close to me and destroying their trusts. Now I am getting more despreate that's why I have searched a how to. So thank you thank you for this. I will do my best to follow everything.
I think I’ve started to become better with my habit of compulsive lying. I lied as early as the age of 13 to my peers. I come from somewhat of a dysfunctional home (father) and I was picked on when I was younger, which could have to with it. However, it’s not really an excuse and my friends & family members do not deserve to be lied to. The thing that has been helping me is putting myself in someone else’s shoes by asking myself: would I want to be lied to about this? Ever since I’ve been catching myself in my habit of lying, the more free and levelheaded I have felt. However, with recovery I also am starting to ruminate about the terrible things I’ve lied about, it is almost as if I do not recognize that person anymore. Hope that helps people!
I think you lied at 13 is a lie. I lied all the time, it makes me don't trust people because I don't trust myself
My girlfriend is a compulsive liar she lie about everything and anything you can imagine, she even lies about food she eats. I've caught her lying many times and confronted her with truth, she would says things and forget the next day . She will make it look like you're the one who forgot what she said before, but in reality she can't keep u with all the lies she tells. She would tell me about going out on dinner with clients but next time you ask her about her dinner dates she would deny mentioning such things in conversation.
What should i do? Is she just cheating on me ? I've talked with her about it but she just cant stop about lying and would blame and get mad on you instead
Just Grass I understand that it can be frustrating, but as someone who is a compulsive liar themselves, I would say she is probably doing that to seem more interesting and appealing to you, as she is afraid of abandonment. Another thing is, it may sound ridiculous, but compulsive liars generally can’t control when they lie. Sometimes I find myself halfway through telling an unbelievable story when I realise that it’s a lie, and at that point it’s too late to contradict myself so I carry on lying so I’m not exposed. Try to understand that she probably doesn’t want to be the way she is.
I am so tired and so stressed because of lying I literally can feel my brain working overtime and so want to become a person who only speaks truth . Tired of the fake persona and tired of people praising me for that . I just feel I have a toy of entertainment for others . Done with lying. Want to start my life again with speaking truth and always be a truthful person
This habit has caused some really harsh realities to be brought to light for me. My therapist hardly knows me, let alone do I really know myself due to this. I'm desperately trying to motivate myself and give myself new habits that are good for me. I am very happy I am honest enough with myself to do this. The messes I have caused are still affecting me to this day. I'm also relieved to see that I am not alone in this. Now I feel confident enough to be real with my therapist to gain more strength to grow. Thanks for the upload, it has already helped.
I have been lying almost all my life I’ve lied about where I’m from I’ve lied about how great I am at things ive lied about so many things and I feel so terrible about it all I wanna start fresh and new always tell the truth I never wanna lie again
i wanted to be felt bad for and ppl to be like "oh hes had such a tough life" when in reality i had a really normal life and the things i was trying to lie about were awful when in my own life i had amazing real stories that wouldnt cause the effect that i wanted but it was who i was, and ive decided to take a step towards healing and growth because it cost me the most valuable relationship in my life, we dated for a year and in the first couple of months i told her and her family a big big big lie about my "past" and as they showed me immense support and love more and more each day i realized i wanted to go back in time and never lied but i was too deep and i was scarrd of breaking up and the consequences and then when i saw that the truth would come out soon enough after some events, i started to hiccup in my lies and she caught me and i admitted my lies, ans she was so helpful and understanding and knew that i truly wanted to change and her parents were mad and broke us up, but after losing such a valuable relationship and the love of my life, i knew and wanted to change my habits and now im going to start therapy and heal and grow and hopefully one day show her and her family ive changed and try to right what i did wrong and hope they forgive me, i dont know why i felt the need to share this but i hope someone can read my story and be motivated to get better bc lies are always going to be broken and the truth will come out.
I know, friend. It's gonna be okay. I see you.
I dont even do it for important things i even lie about what i ate last night
Same ...
Why do you lie about little things like that? I’m curious. My ex husband did this too.
@@loveshell6945 i dont know, its compulsive, if i dont ill just stay silent and rethink what im gonna say, its like a reflex
Love Chele it’s compulsive you don’t really control it
Same it's so funny
I watched this video a few months ago, and being recommended to me again now, I feel a made an improvement the past months.
I’m a compulsive liar for both attention and to get out of trouble. I hate the fact that I’m constantly lying to my friends and parents about what’s going on, and about my grades. I don’t wanna betray their trust anymore. I need help
I’m a compulsive liar always been one since a kid, it’s the most horrid feeling in the world having difficulties being honest with other individuals. I don’t have a solid relationship with my family, I’ve been withdrawn from other for along time due to my toxic trait of lying. I often lie about stupid things like, making a lot of money in a day, what I did during my day, I lie about my career even though I have nothing going on at the moment, I lie to my girlfriend about petty ignorant things like investing money into assets, also who I’m hanging out with and what I do during the days I’m outside with my friends. I’ve lied to her about stopping myself from smoking and using other substances. I’m terrified to even stay in this relationship because I don’t want to hurt her anymore She doesn’t deserve the bullshit I put her through. I also lied to her about funny stories and things I’ve done in my life to make myself look like a more interesting person. I need help this is going to cause chaos for the rest of my life.
I was called manipulative by my dad at age 12, and it ruined my mom and I's relationship. I now lie as a defense mechanism and there's a lot of things that sometimes make me feel I have to. There are some things that just came out and I know she doubts me, but I know I can change it.
I lie and I can't stop it's sickening. I do it because I have a low selfasteem and have complexes. Also I have a major addiction on internet and video games which causes my mood to be aggressive and I lie to always get what I want. Those are my 3 truths that has burrowed deep in my soul.
I didn't have an addiction to lying until the internet came about, mostly when I get into a heated discussion lies start coming out, some of them mixed with or loosely based on the truth but nevertheless I would really like to stop the lying
I'm here because I've caught myself compulsively lying to my partner, I have an addiction to painkillers and for a long time my partner knew about it and she was helping me through it. I have gotten myself into a lot of legal trouble with the addiction and my partner understands addiction and withdraws and as I've been stopping i would sneak off and do some pills and lie to her about it but she would always find out about it and I would still try to lie about it. She has even told me '"I don't care if you do it or not, I care that you lie to me about it." Long story short over the past few weeks its been real bad and I've been down in life so I kept using and hiding it from her and she would find out and I kept breaking her down as she lost all trust in me and I hated what I did to her. There's sometimes I would be honest and tell her but other times I would do everything to hide it and lie and I don't know why, I don't want to lose her but yet I'm the only one pushing her away from me. Just wanted to vent to some strangers, if you're on this video you are probably also going through something and I just want to let you know that everything will be okay in the long run, if you are watching this video then you know you are doing something wrong and that is the first step. I wish all of you the best of luck in every part of you're lives and please pray for me as well.
I was constantly lying but I had no control over it once I said the LIE the damage was already done and I could not take back what I said and I hate it I don't like to lie it's the worst feeling ever but I can't ever seem to control it I just need help so I can't stop lying
Hi! I've had this issue too, but I think its always acceptable to apologize immediately, if not, as soon as possible and be very genuine about it. I've done this before and my friends have been very understanding, and constantly correcting myself has almost entirely got rid of my habit. Hope this helps and I hope you're doing better :)
Lying has been a huge part of my life and I need to get rid of the baggage. I’ve come clean to everyone and a new leaf has been turned. Hope I can keep it going
I have been called out for lying which is something I do frequently . Not to hurt anyone or Betray them but I lie for no reason for attention or personal gain. I see my boyfriend looking sad that’s he’s with me I feel like lying lowers my value if u have something to say say it. If u want to go somewhere ask. Don’t lie. Don’t sneak. you will end up alone with no friend memories or love lying hurts them and then later it hurts yours. Lying is an obstacle you can over come it starts with your mind right now. Breathe and be vulnerable live in truth and we’ll being.
I want to be an honest person. I just keep lying about little things. About why me and my ex gf broke up, about how many bedpartners I’ve had (I’ve had 3 but when someone asks I say 10). Stupid things like that. With some lies I tried to change my memories and now it is hard for me to remember what is true and what is not. It’s tearing me apart and I don’t know how to fix it
I'm hurt. Lying.... Was.... A.... Mistake...., I'll...Promise.....im gonna...be honest. And I won't make a same mistakes ever again.
I, genuinely, wants to fix this habit of mine, compulsive lying. It’s only today, where i truely found out how toxic i was, & how i lie over nearly everything, even small things like the food i ate, whether i’ve already bathed, hobbies, life. I would say, i did those because i feel like i want to have a good image of myself, i fear abandonment just in case people might think i’m a boring person & leave me, i sometimes lie because i am aware of other people’s opinion & dw to hurt them sometimes. However, i’ve decided to truely fix this problem of mine by meditation & buddha’s teachings. I would say even though its a span of a few hours, i have learnt a lot from those teachings & just simple meditation. Today, i only said one lie, which i m kinda proud of myself bc i wld have definitely said more. & even earlier in the afternoon, i was about to generate a lie in my brain when i suddenly hve self awareness & stopped it immediately. Suddenly, i have enlightenment & its like theres a click in my mind. I know what to do now. & i want to write down the process here. My goal is to stop it completely in a span of 6 months. I want to have a healthy relationship w my boyfriend too. So everyone who are wanting to stop this habit! do it. Really. Its definitely curable. through whatever methods u deemed is effective, mine was as mentioned ^ just wanna let you guys know, be truthful & honest to yourself and people around you, you will have less stress and do not have to worry about having to keep up w the consequences of your lie. just keep in mind that to be yourself, learn to say no or yes, nobodys gonna judge you, the more u lie, the more struggle you have. You want to fix it? Do it.
Day 1: Only told a lie. Meditated & felt calmer. If you have things you wanna tell to ur partner or parents, just say it truthfully. Today, i told him that i miss him. Enough of being passive and dishonest abt our feelings. I m doing this because i wanna fix our relationship. 😊
Day2: Didn’t lie
Day 3: I did once because i had to keep up with the lie i made a few months ago, i felt embarrassed to tell the truth
#3.
How do we get out if that/fix it?
Edit.
I just saw your comment was 2 years old.
We're you ever able to purge the lie?
Thx in advance for responding ❤
Christi
I really want to stop lying about alot of things and this is going to start helping
I have been lying since a very young age. It has become a habit, and obviously, there are consequences.
But let’s start off with what I lied about. I lied about family, about experiences, about life to my classmates.
Now, when have I realised?
I have realised this problem around 1-2 years ago. The thing is, I never found the courage to own up to my lies.
Why did I lie?
I lied to myself that if I lie, everyone will count me in during conversations, but I got too greedy. You see, I which I could go back in time, and change it all.
How is it now?
I have started to be more honest, I still tell some natural lies. But I am looking forward to improve that. Even though it has been too late, people know I am a liar at school. But regardless, I will still do the right thing. Honesty is calming, we just never noticed.
Thank you, Mark, for the wonderful video. I am now in university and looking back at high school banter my lying was beyond ridiculous. It was all to protect this perfect image of a completely different person than I was.
It was one night where I could not possibly get to sleep because my brain kept replaying all the lies that I have told over the years. Luckily, this video was easily accessible and I will take my brain's message as a blessing. To anybody out there who is struggling with compulsive lying please know that you are not alone.
Love and Peace.
Thank you and I'm so proud of you.
for about 2 years now, i’ve told most people i know that i was home schooled from primary school up until secondary school, which is an exaggeration of the truth, the truth being that i was homeschooled for a 6 month period in year 6, this was due to abuse and bullying from kids in my school, and to avoid the trauma of my primary school years, i told people that i was homeschooled throughout it, to avoid bringing up memories, and i hate myself for it, and it’s evolved into lying about memories for no reason, and i’m really scared about what could happen, i’m 15 rn and in my 5th year of secondary and i really really want to change, and i’ve been trying but it’s difficult and i feel like a disgusting person
I’m only 13 but i’ve lied my whole life and it’s already starting to destroy me. It’s one of main things i hate abt myself because it’s pushing away all my friends and family and no one really knows me anymore, they just know the guy i’ve created. I’m not always 2 great at covering it up so i get caught quite a bit and i’ve lost most ppl i loves trust because of it and i’m trying so so so hard to stop but i just can’t. People say i’m really nice but that’s only because i’m so horrible to everyone and i never tell anyone the truth so i try and do everything i can to make it up to them and ik i can’t do this on my own but i just don’t know who can help me and all i wanna be is a trustworthy and truthful person but i just don’t know how so please can some1 help meeee
Thank you and have subscribed this has been a life time problem for me.
I don't actually tell lies but make them up in my head.
I don't, but I am close to one. It breaks my heart to see why a close person has to lie to my face ( even very small thing), first I thought I am too stupid to them..now I wonder why ? Thank you for sharing your Why. I still havnt figure out, but I will.
Proud of everyone for trying to get help
This really helped me. It’s the truth I tell you!
How do I stop the lying ? I know all of this and I don't want to lie but it happens before I can even think about controlling it, how do I stop a subconscious action ?
you probably have to train it, as mentioned in the video. until it becomes your normal, how it should be. it's easier than fabricating lies, or not?
Just like with OCD it seems impossible. But with cognitive behavioural therapy it is possible. If we are too far in to the behaviour we can't change it on our own. We need to find someone to train with. All the advice in this video is good, but I believe we need someone else to keep us straight and in the right direction.
Ive been lying so long. And i dont feel guilty about it. Its like when i talk to other people i dont tell the truth cuz its boring so i add a lot of stuff to make it interesting. Especially when i try to get other peoples attention. I get caught less then how much i lie. The worst thing is i was thinking that its cool that i can lie all the time without people knowing it. But rn i kinda accept that i shouldn't be like this. I need to change. And it feels so good that i can write this here cuz i feel ashamed to tell this habbit to someone i know. I want to sound more interesting than the person i am. But not like this. Not anymore
How it go
I need to stop lying so I can be with the one I love
There's a lot of self awareness in this comment section, from people who sincerely want to stop. That stands for something. I often thought lying is a necessary evil but it's not.
Thank you sir this has been eye opening
I honestly dont know why i lie so much. there was never any reason to. i was just afraid of the truth and how it would affect me
Thank you for this. Sometimes I didn't even know that I'm lying, and I only notice it whenever I lay on my bed
I am a compulsive lier because I'm scared of the outcome of the truth
I lie to my bf recently just because I feel like he won’t accept me, I’m trying to stop myself because I love him so much and if I lost him I don’t even know what would happen all I know is that I just can’t imagine a world without his beautiful voice. even if your reading this lalit at least the truth is out
It was for self preservation and to get people to leave me alone. I knew how extremely flawed I was (and still am), and did it to try and get people off my back. I knew that I had big problems, but wanted people off my back and didn't want to address my flaws. Had stopped myself already from telling a small lie today.
its 1:47am where i am right now. i couldnt stop thinking about how much i lie and now im here. it started in elementary school, i would lie about where i was from and other things like that. i would continuously do this all throughout elementary, and ive now noticed that the lies would get bigger and bigger every lie i would tell. i hate doing it but i cant stop. i dont want to loose friends because of my lying. honestly scary to think about.
I take comfort knowing i’m not the only one who’s struggling with this issue. I’m at a lost now because my relationship is on the line because i can’t stop lying. I don’t even know why i lie half of the time or notice that i do, i used to lie a lot when i was younger to protect from getting in trouble , i also face other issues that could play a part with it. It’s very hard for me to tell the truth , but lie like it’s nothing , i want help but i don’t know if anyone will want to help me.
i just recently put an end to a year-long lie that i built friendships and loving relationships off of. i lied about my age to gain access to a space that i was not welcome in, and that people would be uncomfortable having me in. i became friends with people because of this lie and even got a partner.
i finally told the truth to my partner just yesterday. i hate myself. they probably hate me too, and that’s completely justified. i can’t ever forgive myself for the hurt i’ve caused them, but i want to get better so badly. i lie about things that don’t matter, i lie to people that i claim to love, feeling outrageously guilty the whole time. i want to start over and i hope that i can.
i’m going to get therapy. i’m going to get better, so i can learn to trust myself to not hurt anyone like i’m hurting them now.
I wish the best for you my guy!
Thank you for this video!!
I would make stories. Whenever there was a pressing situation, I would always tell the truth, though. It's strange, I would only tell a funny story, just for laughs, but I would pretend it was real. I think I can get over this, and I want to. Because whenever pathological lying is brought up, I get scared for some reason.
I know that i’ve had a lying problem since I was little but I feel like I can’t stop because I’ve created a version of myself that i don’t know how to get rid of. At times i even feel like i am the person that i’ve created. I wish I could wipe the memories of my lies from my friends and family. I would be devastated if they learned about the multitude of little and large lies i’ve told.
I think for me it’s from a place of insecurity or feeling small. I lie about things that make me bigger as a person. Lying about what my parents do for instance, the jobs I’ve had, the places I’ve traveled etc. my lies are definitely not for attention but more so to feel adequate
I actually needed this thank u
Excellent video!
To anyone who knew me reading this I want to confess that I've lied a lot in my life and I'm very sorry for it, I'll never do it again I should have known better I'm very sorry to anyone who I knew in school or in life that I've lied to or lied about, I'm sorry I shouldn't have lied and I feel so guilty about it and so I'm confessing cause I'm scared it'll come back to me one day, please forgive me and forget about it, it just digs a deep hole you can't get out of and I don't want to be known as the one who lies. I'm sorry if I've caused anyone any trouble because of my lies.😭😭😭😭😭😭😭🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
I lie mainly to avoid conflict. I am absolutely terrified of conflict with others so I tend to say „yes“ to a lot of things to avoid the initial conflict. When I find that I cannot or don’t want to do what they asked me for (and since that would cause another conflict) - I then lie about it. Sometimes that buys me time to then complete the task or mask my flaws and inabilities in some other way but it leaves me disgusted with myself. When I grew up conflict was always tied to physical & mental abuse... So I know perfectly well where this behavior comes from, yet it’s my mind’s immediate response to stress and confrontation. It’s awful and I hate myself for it... It’s so tough to brake out of it but I‘m trying.
I Lie alot...thats why I went to this video because I realise I was making a sin..And this is a problem to me..I want to stop lying so that I can change and become a nicer person
I keep on lying to people i love and its damaging their trust in me and I don't wanna get kicked out and sent back to my mother
Thank you. So very much
I lost my boyfriend to lying….. I love him sm and I lied to make a friend feel better but …😔💔.
I lost some friends to it, I have no idea why I lie it's just an issue
@@kkargbo1318 dude talk to me on snap . We could literally fight this tg
@@cretecarly Im going through the same ish rn and id love to talk about it ngl, u have insta?
@@cretecarly wanna talk ?
It started off at a very young age where id feel the need to hide and push away the truths that would harm me or others, it came from a place of fear, now being 22 these small lies have become bigger lies, that effect and hurt those around me. The guilt and shame would always come haunt me, id get anxious and nervous when confronted for my lying, sometimes i dont even know when i lie or tell truth anymore, i have to really think hard. It has effected my relationship, and my life. I hope to one day come back and say that im finally free from this curse.
I cannot stop lying to my mom and friends it tears me apart
You’re not alone, I’ve been compulsively lying since I was in primary school and I’ve been learning how not too, you can lose the compulsive lying if you try hard enough( it wasn’t easy for me )
my mom was talking to me about my lying and told me to watch this video and i hope and pray that this video works because i lie about a lot of things and i just really need somebody to talk to so i started to talk to my dad about it and we are going to talk more about my lying this weekend so wish me luck.
Thank you so much!
I lost a perfect person because I kept on lying. I need to stop this.