Why Your Life Feels Meaningless
Vložit
- čas přidán 4. 07. 2024
- Learn more about depression, anxiety, and meditation in Dr K’s Guide to Mental Health! bit.ly/3jHRYLh
Healthy Gamer group coaching spots now available!
Reserve your spot today - bit.ly/3pnXxlC
Join the Discord, follow us on Twitter and Insta, and more!: wlo.link/@healthygamer
▼ Timestamps ▼
────────────
0:00 - Preview
0:29 - Reddit Post
4:22 - How to find fulfilment
8:15 - Experience creates behavioural change
13:12 - Video game addiction and the nature of fulfilment
19:52 - Yogic path
27:00 - Awareness must be cultivated
30:25 - Conclusion and summary
────────────
Today Doctor K talks about finding meaning, how to find meaning, how to be fulfilled, what is fulfilment, what to do when feeling dead inside, why everything matters, and what to do when nothing matters. Healthy Gamer also discusses how to be aware, finding awareness, how to find purpose, finding meaning in life, wanting to be alive, and more!
────────────
DISCLAIMER
Healthy Gamer is an online community and resource platform for gamers and their families. It does not provided medical services or professional counseling, and it is not a substitute for professional medical care. Our coaches are peer supporters, not professionally trained experts, and they cannot provide medical service. If you or a loved on are experiencing an emergency, please call your nation's emergency telephone number.
All guests of Healthy Gamer are informed of the public, non-medical nature of the content and have expressly agreed to share their story.
from the thumbnail, I'm glad to know I'm physically larger than Nicaragua
wha
my initial thought was that i’m bigger than everyone from my hometown and that simple notion brought me fulfillment
@@shawwww the video worked, you’re healed
Of course. Didn’t you watch the last video on FAT 😂
congrats me too
"Don't use logic and intellect as a substitute for experience." That's what I've been doing my whole life lol, I'll try to do better, thanks Dr. K
dr k is wrong on this one. using logic as a substitute keeps us alive. one experience translates to other same scenarios.
@@tnntlmmn277 Logic kept me alive, but solely relying on it is probably unhealthy.
I've met lots of people at uni and had mostly negative experiences. So I've ended up socially isolating myself because that was the logical thing to do to avoid negativity. But now I've realized that it is possible to have positive experiences too, I may need to seek meeting more people in order to achieve this.
What I'm saying is if we put logic and experience in the opposite ends of a spectrum, try not to end up in the extreme ends of it. Finding the balance is usually healthy.
@@tnntlmmn277 Alive yes - but not living in many cases. How many people do you know that say things like "Why go on a date all men/women just suck" or "Why bother trying this, i've failed so many times before" - because they're protecting themselves from rejection or something that challenges a pre-disposed idea. You'll live in the case of the last two no?
@@tnntlmmn277 Albert Ellis said that humans need to fulfill survival and happiness. To live without a cause or meaning that fulfills yourself leads you to depression.
Well, have you experienced a 12 inch rooster, nah, I'm gonna use logic
"Don't try to answer. You don't know. Accept your ignorance and go try it. Then you'll have the answers you seek."
Thank you Dr. K.
Uuuuuuuppppp!!!!!!
Very vague lol.
Dr. K is so wise 🌞✨
I think we can _try_ to answer these.
The pitfall is when we automatically accept our made-up answers as truth without going out to actually make sure if our answers are true or not.
Some people make hypotheses and mistake them for conclusions.
it's a bad analogy. experience is exponential. you can guess the outcome because of experience. sure there's 100 snowy mountains to climb, but it's 95% going to be the same experience.
The more I watch this channel, the more I realize I should probably set up some meetings with a therapist 😅
Get in there I promise it helps
@@STRcircaFKR absolutely
you should
@@STRcircaFKR For the sake of being transparent, I actually have talked to a few therapists already. I'm just absolute garbage at exposing my inner feelings to, really anyone at all.
@@Dimitris_Half I personally don't blame the therapists, they did their best to get me to open up. I just don't want to.
The Seek New Things part really hits me. When I was in university there was a period where I decided to challenge myself to try a new thing everyday. Whether it be learning origami, attending an event on campus or trying to cook a new dish, I just kept doing it. And then one day I decided I was going to talk to a new person. And then i did it the next day... and the next day and then the next thing I know I made some of the bestest friends I ever had/have. I remain in contact with them to this day. We had road trips, post-finals drinks, Christmas parties, barbeques at the beach and so on. Mind you I am a very shy person and so talking to someone new was VERY scary to me. But if hadn't done it, I wouldn't have had those fulfilling experiences, I wouldn't have met those people. It's kinda sad but now that I've graduated and have a full-time job, I don't do this anymore. Maybe it's time I do that challenge again.
Please do it! I also highly recommend the book Rejection Therapy. The author has a fantastic Ted talk
*insert my loud and long groan*
Socially anxious person here, how did you go and approach new people? Once I hold a conversation with someone new it's pretty smooth, but I have a really hard time actually going up to people and finding people that are actually interested in holding a conversation or whatnot.
@@cookieguy9885 I used to be extremely socially anxious, but I’ve worked past it! Don’t approach someone who looks to be in a rush, and look for open body language. If you notice something about someone fitting those criteria, find a convo topic. That could be a college tshirt from your alma mater, the weather, even talking about how long the line is if you’re both standing in. It really doesn’t need to be a profound conversation.
And once you engage, if they accept your conversation invitation, try keeping your mind focused on them throughout the conversation rather than yourself. You got this bro :)
@@akshaybodla163 author name?
"As we move toward higher intellectualization in the absence of experience we start to form opinions about stuff and then we think we're right... the world is nihilistic and there is no point in doing anything, just embrace hedonism."
"Don't use logic and intellect as a substitute for experience."
Wow. This could not have come at a better time in my life. Thank you so much!
Freal
😭 if I could be paid to cry...
@@deadinside8781 If I could be paid to cry, that would be a very difficult job :|
As the Buddha said: " the entire universe of experience is in this body of not even 2 meters in size" - don't make yourself smaller than you are
especially if you're above 2 meters
exactly, you are just that, a body. You don't matter, life doesn't matter. This video was awful.
didn't know Buddha hated basketball players
@@Krageesh Personally, I subscribe to nihilism because it leads to the idea that nobody matters, and I want those that I care about to feel like they matter. Tending to relationships gives meaning to me because I am giving meaning to the other. If people don't give you a sense of meaning, get a cat or dog.
@@Krageesh ignorance is everything, it's what's keeping us both stuck, rewatch from the third chapter of the video if you want things to change
but hey, what do i know
8:40 nihilism doesnt dictate the 'right' kind of behaviour
9:30 'what's it like to climb mt everest? fulfilling?' mind comes up w answers to fill the gaps 10:35 bc ur intellect isnt poor
10:50 perspective 11:40 'let's get down' 😂
12:00 intellect: already figured it out for u, u dont need to bother (to actually experience it)
12:50 subtly saying: dont bother doing anything, just get ur dopaminergic hit (video games)
13:30 why video games are addictive: the *denial* of the reward,
(guarantee of the reward)
followed by the reward,
fulfilment!
15:30 adversity -> success -> fulfilment
16:25 the difficulty that leads to some of the advantage
17:15 substance use: craving leads to relief
18:40 is that the nature of fulfilment? im not sure.
so what is fulfilment? how do u get to that answer in the absence of exp & joining echo chambers (getting congruence of the world)?
'no point in exploration, world is nihilistic, just embrace hedonism-'
19:48 disagree, awareness path
look at ourselves thru a series of exp
20:20 eat by watching vs eating itself
why do u gravitate towards it?
where does the food taste better?
can't answer it RN
*removing the necessity of actually engaging in the exercise, bc u already have the 'answer'*
21:35 🙅♂️ *''oh i know"*-
no need to explore, ive read abt it
22:00 1) *Seek NEW things:* U already have answers for existing stuff u can do
- find smth new, & do it w/ *awareness*
22:30 2) *Embrace difficulty:* opposing the hedonistic path
- not just doing it to make ur life hard, but to try & understand the nature of ffment.
Which is more fulfilling? *try it*
doing smth easy vs hard: which is more fulfilling?
50 vs 5,000 steps.
○ *when we move away from hardship, we narrow the range of behaviours/exp we can engage with*
23:30 the ppl that do this all day: are they fulfilled?
24:25 awareness: more than just the experiencing of emotions (e.g.// anxious)
🙅♂️enjoyment 🙆♂️fulfilment
24:35 hedonistic route: shooting for enjoyment vs fulfilment
24:57 hard to seek fulfilment, when youre worried abt putting food on the table
- it's just that it doesn't stop there
25:28 4 major goals in life
1) Duty
2) Wealth - tryhard mode
3) Pleasure - u can enjoy what life has to offer, but dont stop there
4) Enlightenment
3) *Awareness has to be cultivated:*
- hydrate a lil beforehand,
jog for 15m,
drink water when u get back: sit outside & wait 5-10m before drinking
watch yourself; notice what happens, bio impulses
4) *Meditate*
sit & dont do anything, observe all impulses
29:28 being afraid of boredom: what else would u do in those 10m?
see how quick ur mind rebels
30:30 Searching for fulfilment,
when u dont even understand what youre looking for,
- substituting any present logic/intellect for any kind of understanding of exp
- logical mind telling u to do things:
hijacked by dopamine addiction
(now doing it guilt-free, bc 'what's the point in anything?' 🤧)
31:38 in the grand scheme of things, seems irrelevant,
addictions become rampant, it 'protects' U
32:30 define fulfilment first. then u know what to look for.
be aware of ur intellect, giving answers as substitute for real EXP
5) *Find a moment of pure happiness:*
- then understand components requisite for that
- only way to do that is to study happiness in all of its different shades
- leads to discovery, mindblowing
34:08 find it for yourself
34:35 what does ur mind get to avoid? if u get the 'answer' rn
bc it's hard.
35:15 😂
'tell me what i want to hear so i can be intellectually satisfied & i dont have to change anything abt my life.' 😅
doesnt mean its free of pain,
but to understand yourself, & how u work
life will be more manageable.
36:40 be careful of ur mind trying to dodge exp that are good for u,
bc thats why u r stuck.
bro, you REALLY absorbed EVERY TINY PIECE of his knowledge
This is fantastic, thank you!
A winner in the comment section whoa
This comment deserves more attention. Really!
“Our society tends to regard as a sickness any mode of thought or behavior that is inconvenient for the system and this is plausible because when an individual doesn't fit into the system it causes pain to the individual as well as problems for the system. Thus the manipulation of an individual to adjust him to the system is seen as a cure for a sickness and therefore as good.”
This is a brilliant quote
Isn't this the quote from the unabomber? wtf...
I've been thinking about this for years now. Just because most people agree that something is an illness doesn't mean it actually is.
where’s this from?
@@BitterTast3 any examples
The less you know about what life has to offer, the more assumptions you'll make. I've had moments where I felt like I didn't have much purpose but fulfillment takes time. I'm still struggling with aligning my actions with what I want to be in life
So true. True knowledge comes from experience. Gotta go out and live as much as you can til you find what turns you on.
my number 1 rule dont ve mr knowitall and be mr don’tknowitall
I felt like my life was meaningless when I didn't allow myself to go for my dreams and ambitions. I thought playing it safe was the way to go, but it just made everything seem so dull... There is that quote that says that if you aim for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land somewhere among the stars. So that was the first step for me was to be okay with following my heart and just trusting it'll lead me somewhere. I'd rather dream big and be excited to wake up everyday in anticipation.
Other than that I've been able to cultivate that sense of there being meaning in my life with daily habits like grooming myself, making my bed every morning, drinking some green tea, etc. I've been making new goals to set new habits and that helps.
I also like to read and listen to audiobooks, learn new things that make the world a much more interesting place.
These are just the things that worked for me 😊
Even though I don't feel my life is meaningless, I still watch these videos just as a reminder of how easily one can fall into this mindset.
I don’t too but after every video i find at least one point that Dr. K makes that is valuable to my situation
I felt like this since November 2021. I was working 100 hour weeks as a store manager at CVS. I didn't spend time with family, friends, or progress in dating for the entirety of my 20s. I found it helped a lot to rewatch old movies, tv shows, music and quotes of wisdom that gave me my moral compass growing up. And racking up as many consecutive quick wins as possible really helps. I got certified in QuickBooks, HR and Excel as well as working on payroll certification. I feel like this time off from work wasn't wasted and I am more motivated to try again, to try starting a career and a relationship.
Edit: I've found the answer to purpose is almost always family, friends, involvement in community, volunteering, growing your character/abilities.
Another thing I’ve noticed is that people ,and western society, tells people that happiness is outside of ourselves. Buy this, eat that, find a lover or even several, want want want. We think happiness is outside of ourselves and to chase that thing and you’ll be happy forever. This is why we are so miserable…
@@Dimitris_Half it's both happiness is found both outside and inside of ourselves.
@@Dimitris_Half true, I do agree with you there. But what if someone doesn’t have these things? They become miserable, desiring something they don’t have instead of what they do. That isn’t happiness anymore but misery and desire. These things are a blessing to have but shouldn’t be what brings us happiness.
@@Dimitris_Half great conversation! From what I’ve observed in my life is that most of my suffering came from the desire for things I didn’t have and not meeting the expectations that others wanted of me. I suffered because I don’t have that car, don’t have a dream job, don’t have this food or that item etc,. After coming across Taoism and eastern philosophies I’ve realized that I don’t need these things to just BE happy. Yes you of course need food and water to live but for material things like new phone new games etc I was chasing a high that wouldn’t last. I still have aspirations but I’m enjoying the present moment.
Happiness is outside ourselves. People are miserable nowadays because globalization has turned everyone into nothing more than replaceable cogs in a machine. Also the internet has vastly changed the social landscape resulting in increased mental illness among young people of both genders.
"Don't use logic and intellect as a substitute for experience"
Noted
I have a six week old baby. Being a new parent is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Having to tend to a mini human 24/7, and waking up multiple times a night is hard. But, man, is it rewarding to see her beginning to learn and beginning to coo and smile with me.
Watching them grow and develop is astonishing to be a part of has really help put things into perspective. All the best to your little family
Yeah your life is technically insignificant, but that’s what makes it so great. You can do whatever you feel fulfilled by, it can be hundreds of different things, and the universe will keep on going like nothing happened. The way I think about it is that the evolution of life on Earth takes place on a huge scale and is the culmination of trillions of lives making almost insignificant changes to the Earth and their species. So what I do with my individual life doesn’t matter but just by being alive I have a purpose
How can you even know that you’re insignificant? What allows you to come to that conclusion?
I think the most honest answer is saying “I don’t know, but i feel it matters, so that’s how I’ll live.”
@@CoreofShane i dont think hes saying that he knows that its insignificant and thats exactly the problem, especially in nihilsm.
If we knew that life is meaningless we could adapt and would pretty quickly, but because we live in a constant doubt about it we actually never get ahead of the "judgement" we have about life being meaningless. Our judgement is probably that its bad if life was meaningless, but if theres no meaning in life, theres also no bad or good.
We never lose the fear of that conclusion by trying to argue with it, because the reason we argue is also stemming from another fear. The fear is that life is bad without meaning so i also am bad without meaning, so we create a loophole and say that even if its meaningless, it feels as if it has meaning, so i will still act as if it would have. But we just reinforce the problem again.
Can you not just accept, but live and "ignore" the fact that you are bad? Can you still do things that feel like they are right to do, even if you know its meaningless? Can you simply be with that emotion without trying to change anything about it? Not to get rid of it, but just to see where it will lead you?
Just look for any intentions of wanting change to your current situation or past situations, and just go on with your day, daily problems will still need to be taken care of and thats what you gonna do.
The fact that we are unsure about the meaning of life has brought us here as a species. If we were a 100% sure that life was meaningless we would die out quite quickly
@@waylengaming8712 why do you think that? Im pretty sure we would have survived the fact that life is meaningless.
No animal thinks that life has a meaning and look how many there are alive.
"Meaningful" is also just a judgement our mind makes about life, good or bad.
We can definitly stay alive atleast nowadays with knowing if life was meaningless and since the human is actually really intelligent i think we would have came this far even if people never thought that life had meaning even from the scratch.
@@nidaf1597 An animal cant comprehend the meaning of its life. We on the other hand can, and thinking your life is meaningless is super depressing
I love the fact that you're uploading more frequently.. great content btw🥰🥰
Yep, I noticed the changes in their videos too. They must have been planning these for quite a while and hence wasn't able to upload as frequently for the past 2 weeks
I was the questioner for a LONG time and at the time I had just a wonderful partner and I gave my life a reason to live, by knowing how beautiful this relationship was. We created together and spoke about life and shared our view points and I kept my self open to possibilities. Over time the thought of “we all die” turned from nihilistic to “we all die”….”so let me do what the next thing my being is calling me to do is” albeit as little and meaningless as it was, it brought me to the next thing and now I’m starting to see a bit more of hmm…my choices and paths are multiplying and I can choose, it helps me release fomo and accept, I can’t be everywhere at once. Having my partner helps, we have a shared goal and vision for our future and that has been the biggest blessing for me so far. Growing up in the city and having seasons of friends come and go, building this relationship has meant the world to me and is a great foundation for both of us, to keep going and building a future I want and he wants. I have some trouble writing my thoughts very clearly but this is what I got so far :)
I just went to a therapisr yesterday and she said i was feeling "stuck" and she said what you said. She told me to try new things. That shows me shes reliable
Everytime I watch a Dr. K explanation everything just fits perfectly. This guy needs way more audience
Dr K saving lives here
For me, this is probably the most improtant YT video I ever watched. Thank you.
PS. Also, as usual, I went to see the comments, but stopped myself there. No offense guys, but Dr.K just made me realise - your comments have nothing of value to offer me. It's time to stop searching for game walkthrou's or character builds and just go exploring with 'attention' stance turned on. The feeling is simply liberating.
Why is he so good at explaining everything in a way every person takes it in. 😂
Insane where my mind goes watching these videos makes me think so much in new ways. And thanks for like slowing down for a few minutes and making sure the viewer understands
just found out this channel, and thank you so much for creating it! you have no idea how much your "session" has helped my reflect on myself.
fantastic video today. I really needed to hear "do things and then ask yourself what was more fulfilling." it's easy to pass up opportunities to grow because I'd rather hang out and play games and chill, but when I slow down and think about it I know I dont find that fulfilling. it's just that trying new things and interacting with strangers is uncomfortable and kinda hard, but it's important to accept that and to trust that I can handle whatever comes up.
Awesome question and amazing response Dr. K. I really appreciated this and want to use what I learned- slowly!
Wow. This one hit a very sweet spot. I noticed that. I usually crave for pain while I feel I'm not focused enough, then get tired quickly after what I consider a minimum exertion. I'm starting to connect the dots.
This came at the right time. Thank you for posting this video.
I found this really beneficial, thank you! Your re-enactment of a stubborn mind is hilariously accurate😆
What a great video. Thank you for sharing all this with us, very powerful.
Wow this is game-changing for me. Thanks for all the lessons Dr. K.
It's a bit strange to me that it's all about me. Collective purpose I think is equally as important. Dr K mentioned at some point that someone who is preoccupied with their next meal has no time to pursue enlightenment. Though, their experience going through that is genuinely valuable and can create a sense of fulfillment when achieved. What bothers me is that this age of mental disorders has all become about ourselves individually. We are all trying our best to cope with our current lives living in an extremely individualistic culture meanwhile we forget about us as a whole. Much like the problem with recycling and how the responsibity is put on the individual, the same goes with us as humans.
This is GOATED.
Great job Dr.k, I learned so much thank youuu!!!
GREAT video, thanks again Dr. K!
hands down, best video. I laughed so hard when you exactly imitated how my mind is wired while providing answers to questions that bothered with me for so long. (Quite fulfilling to get something out of it after all this time. 😅)
In the middle of a depressive episode. I really needed this today.
The last week of Dr.k has triggered alot of introspection from me and so far I think I've just found more things I hate about myself 🤣
You are amazing - Just found your channel - So glad I did - Thanks for sharing your knowledge.
Thanks, Doctor K! This feels like the missing piece in my life I was searching for all along.
I was just thinking about life and had thoughts about how pointless it is and tried finding a meaning in all of it. First I steered towards love and companionship because it's something I lack but then I was wondering if that is externalizing and avoiding the true internal struggles I have.
This lecture cleared a lot of questions I've had that really bothered me on an existential level and I will give my best to try and face adversity and find fullfilment.
Thank you Dr.K you're a blessing.
Thanks Dr. K. This has been enlightening.
Adversity making success fulfilling makes me think that it makes more sense when my parents would compliment me for getting good grades but I'm like uh I didn't try that hard, I procrastinated a lot and in my opinion it wasn't that difficult
Becoming self aware is the FIRST thing you need to do. I am trans. I transitioned at 40. I lived over 30 years confused and thinking I was horrible and broken. It messes you up. Transition does NOT solve most of your problems. What it DOES do it put you in the right place to figure out what questions to ask. It created a doorway I could step through that was barred from me before. I am younger minded and open now at 52 than I ever was. Therapy helps but self awareness is where it all started.
I love the practical piece at the end of this. I get home from the gym around 11am, and that hour or 90 minutes between when I get home an when I “get to” eat lunch make that meal incredibly gratifying and fulfilling, especially because I prepare my meals. There’s so much build up to the process of eating that it’s amazingly fulfilling when I do it. One of my other favorite things to do is carve out time every single day to actively do absolutely nothing. I love it. It makes things so much easier to enjoy and experience when there’s a backdrop of boredom to contrast it against.
contrast is extremely important because without it, nothing exists.
@@asuka_the_void_witch I don’t agree with that at all. Things exist whether we experience them or not. We just don’t get the benefits of those things if we don’t have contrast for our experiences. If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it, is it noise? Yes.
@@Moose92411 okay that is not what I meant
Good chat. Good pep talk. Going to get my head out of the intellectual sand.
I am a twitch viewer but Damn the Yt edits are getting better and better everytime!
such a wise man! thank you!!
I adore the new editing and intro music
Been waiting for a video like this
Exactly what I needed.
This was a phenomenal discussion.
Feels nice to see a video on a topic that you already feel like you've got covered.
shit nevermind lol
Honestly thank you for sharing this man, you're a legend.
Now excuse me but I'm going to try and understand what fulfillment is for me and how to find it. ❤️
great editing on the video! love the intro!
So many people need to see this video... I've tried explaining these concepts before but I could never really grasp the words and sentence(s) that would do it right, to which Dr. K did perfectly...
THANK YOU FOR THIS VIDEO
Dr k viewers are different, no one commented first
😢 i thought i was the only one who has been struggling with that question around me, thank you dr K
Usually not one to comment before watching the whole video but I just gotta say I really like the new intro style
Very intriguing
This content is so incredible
Thank you for helping me go for a run today :)
"success is a man's (woman's) continued pursuit of a worthy ideal"-Earl Nightingale
Set goals, and strive for them. Be responsible. These things give life "meaning" imo.
It doesnt change anything tho. We all dont mean shit anyways. Whether you feel fullfiment or despair, we all meet that end which negates anything we felt beforehand. Still tho, its not my place to tell everyone that they are wasting their time. It all just is. Nothing more, nothing less
@@hwanniggles187 "we all meet that end which negates anything we felt beforehand" so? I'll still rather live a "good" life instead of a "bad" one, why are you so focused on that end. Also what does it mean to "waste time" its not like theres a proper way of using time.
@@hwanniggles187 Every human being chooses what is meaningful and what is meaningless to them, our assured death doesn't proof that everyone is living a meaningless existence because death doesn't define what has meaning; we do.
Depending on your ideas, you can decide if everyone is wasting their time or if someone is doing something worthwhile, but it doesn't mean everyone will think like you do, what gave meaning to my life was doing what the original comment says, setting goals, and striving for them, and imo what happens to me after I meet the end is meaningless.
@@hwanniggles187 and what end are you referring to? Death?
thanks Dr.K this is vert helpful ❤
This is gold!
This video is SO GOOD. Mind altering stuff right here
That was interesting and very "action oriented". Thank you. 💜
Your videos make me feel back on track
Connecting with the joy of looking at beautiful things. This will make you fall in love with life. The beauty of when I walk out of my house, I look at trees, cars, the sun, the clouds, the desert, where I live. Even my own body. When I look at my own body I just get joy out of looking at the beauty of my own body. My body is a work of art. I can connect with that um. Just that alone is enough to create an amazingly fulfilling life.
As odd as that may be, the best example I usually take from the "Life is meaningless" topic, is from the secret level in the Lust Layer in Ultrakill.
While the level in itself is a rather hilarious poke at visual novels hidden inside a super violent retro FPS, the subject that level focuses on holds a much deeper meaning than just *haha funny anime slideshow level* .
It too talks about how life may be meaningless, but it's best to not waste it before it's over.
I want to amend Dr. K's "embrace difficulty" by adding that you should go for something not too difficult, but not too easy. The middle path.
From the intro, I suddenly thought I was watching a 'Destiny reacts to Dr. K' video. Love it tho.
You literally saved my existence
THIS was good 👍🏼
Thank you - Dr. K 😀🌷
This really is great stuff, thank you!
But, small side-note: I was pretty distracted by the moving background. I think a more static (or way slower changing) background might be beneficial for some people.
Spot on about Elden Ring/Dark Souls. I learned a long time ago things aren't satisfying unless they're challenging. Why I tend to gravitate towards hard games and difficult novels.
For me, I would simply like to take advantage of the time I'm experiencing. If there is something I really want to try, hopefully I can work to go try it. If you don't know what to do, you might have to start experimenting and go looking for it (talking to others, joining communities, leaving your comfort zone, etc.; and some things will cost money to try for what it's worth). Whether life is insignificant doesn't really matter to me anymore because there's nothing I can really control. With the acceptance of death and insignificance maybe you may find value in the things you want to do now. Instead I hope to make my time meaningful. I have a life to experience and curiosities to satisfy so I'm going to try to experience them. The striving, progressing, learning, and sharing can be it's own fulfillment even if the goal is never met; just living and working things out.
What if the one thing you want to try in life is nearly impossible to do? 😅
@@_Chessa_ tbh hard to say without knowing what it is.
but if I think something is impossible, I would probably try to figure out what about it is impossible and if it can't be achievable in small steps and a little work everyday. If it actually is impossible, I would question why I feel like I need to do it or if I need to change my goals or direction. To me, there is no point in chasing some sort of ideal situation if I can't do anything about it; you'll be chasing something you never achieve and you'll feel miserable because you'll never get there and be even moderately satisfied with the work you put in. I'd rather stick to doing what I can with what I have in the moment.
@@latteARCH yeah.. Having a different way of thinking from my own would be difficult. Just want a different brain as of right now. Would be amazing to try and feel what others feel in their heads. I’ve got a messed up head that’s all I want to say.
Dr. K video to start the day lets gooo
Not me trying to figure out if 50 steps or 5,000 steps is more fulfilling after Dr. K says not to think like that
That intro summed everything up
I realized I do two things, one of which I remember from this video, that prevents me from doing stuff. I run the faulty simulation in my head and come to a baseless conclusion that allows me to avoid things I think will be unpleasant. However, I also do the complete opposite, I think about what’ll happen if I do a certain thing and come to the correct conclusion that I don’t know. I then act as if this means that I should steer clear from it and not go and discover the outcome. I’ve isolated myself as much as possible without even realizing
Yeah I realized that my life became so much more fulfilling once I started crying myself to sleep because of all the sad things in my life. If you embrace dopamine and try hard to find it than you will never be happy but if you chase sadness and chase the sad feelings then you will never be sad. So ironic
8:10 Well said! Logic can't [always] create behavioral change because it often comes after the behavior. AKA you can use logic to be nicer to people, but when immediate angry reactions occur, they'll come before logic can sort things out. Thus it is from perception and conditioning that most behavior is influenced.
The main problem with existential nihilism is that suicide is the only logical conclusion.
Exactly. It's a pickle.
But then it becomes even more terrible when hear about the concept of rebirth and souls. Basically suicide doesn't mean anything in that case. It's gets more mad
@@thetransferaccount4586t least if we reborn as plants or animals we fulfill nature’s harmony but as humans we only destroy… Which also just gave me an idea to join “nature conservation” efforts or something, instead of just being an accountant at XYZ 😅 But then again who said that Earth even cares? It was reborn few times even before humans ever existed.. So, maybe I can find some meaning in helping less fortunate people, but in only few generations no one even remembers you or people that you helped… And the mind spiral 🌀
I know that intro from anywhere. Is AugustEditing on this channel now?
this is EXACTLY what I was thinking lmao
Amazingly good video. Very interesting. I don't have answers. I have done many challenging things that have left me strangely unfulfilled, because I've always been left with the question - yes, that was hard, and I did it, but why? For example, I ran a number of increasingly difficult marathons. After my last double marathon, and a few months before my first triple, I couldn't come up with a good reason *why* I was doing it! I'm not averse to hard things, I've done many adventures and challenges that were brutal, and I do have good memories (an incredibly hard but rewarding wreck dive springs to mind, or writing my first computer game), but I could never come up with a cogent "why", and that does lead to a "what's the point" attitude. Tough one! :)
one of the best of your streams
Awesome talk.
Hi dr.K, could you make a video about hsp please?
Thanks for all the content you create and share 💕
August... Is that you?
I will try my best to play some video games in this timeline. Thank you, Dr. K Ⓜ️🗿
I really vibe with a lot of the existential psychologists (Frankl, Yalom, Rollo May) that talk about the need for personal meaning in a culture that doesn’t necessarily support that value.
Culture pushes us to be individually successful, basically just really flexing on the bottom of the Maslow’s hierarchy of needs pyramid. Just get all the resources you can and you’re good.
Relationships are hugely important for our wellbeing, and ultimately self-actualization, essentially discovering our own unique values and living in alignment with those.
The shift in values, from the ones that got us liked and accepted as adolescents, to values that truly come from within and resonate with the most mature part of ourselves… this is the challenge.
It’s so hard to give up what made us feel good and important and accepted in the past to discover what may lie ahead. I was personally so afraid to give up an adolescent lifestyle (in my 30s) to actually take on real deal responsibility.
Eventually I was so unhappy with my life, even though I had all the comforts I could imagine, that I felt I had no choice but to go back to school to pursue a vocation as a psychotherapist.
The level of work and responsibility with this role scared me a lot, but I was so unsatisfied and restless and depressed that I had nothing to lose.
I can say the work of James Hollis was deeply validating during this transition. This is his main talking point, though he’s brilliant and discusses a lot… but the problem he sees in the world is that people aren’t really asking themselves what matters to them on the deepest level, and are instead caught up in the chase for dopamine or social status or whatever.
Hollis’s book Living an Examined Life is probably the best starting point, so if any of those resonates with you I’d highly recommend that book, or just start with some of his podcast appearances and go from there.
I freaking love you! You’re the best! Thank you for being you! Just saying.
Life feels like a downward spiral to me. Each year, I get dragged in deeper into the smog until I wonder what there is even left to look forward to if nothing improves. Not depression. Just reality of life (at least mine's).
That hardcore meditation is incredible. I did it in a hot tub at a rec centre for an hour. I sacrificed conversations with friends, people thought I was weird, and all types of things. It was hard for the sake of being hard. I’m thinking of including it in my daily practice.
why would people think you are weird? Aren't you just chilling, enjoying the hot tub? Maybe I did not understand what you were doing.
Good timing. I just watched the movie "Everything Everywhere All At once". Highly recommend if you want a fun movie that also deals with existential dread
You can live a very fulfilling life with hedonism these days. Just seek out pleasure and share your findings with the world. The most unfulfilled life you can live is one where your life doesn't affect the world around it. Where nothing is shared.
Edit: turns out I misunderstood what fulfillment is. Still valid view. But the important thing isn't what you do. Its how you do it.
nothing matters in the end of the journey, but every things are matters in the moment. Live for the "present".
Past, present, future? all moments matter
I think that fulfillment comes from repeated adversity on a long enough timescale that your mind no longer connects the adversity to the reward.
Kids must be the prime example because they suck almost all the time for a long time, until they become an incredibly fulfilling part of your life. You wouldn't feel like changing that one diaper 10 years ago caused it, you would just feel fulfillment surrounding your life.
Luckily now that I've sorted it out, I can go play more elden ring and not have to go through the effort myself