This Left 4 Dead 2 Speedrun Saved My Life
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- čas přidán 19. 11. 2021
- This is my story, its the story of how a single left 4 dead 2 speedrun saved my life, i have suffered from depression and suicidal thoughts and with sewerslvt retiring it seemed like a good time to talk about it. This video is raising money for suicide prevention and the first month of this videos ad revenue i will contribute to the cause myself. Thanks so much for watching and always remember you aren't alone, never give up, its worth it.
Music by SewerSlvt
Goodbye-
• Sewerslvt - goodbye
Die Alone-
• Video
All the Joy in Life Was Gone Once You Left-
• Sewerslvt - all the jo...
The Last Thing She Sent Me-
• Sewerslvt - the last t...
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#speedrun #waifuruns #l4d2 - Hry
This video touches on a topic that i find really important, its overly self indulgent but i felt the need to illustrate just why i felt the way i did, that way maybe you could understand. I want to help people, so for the next month i am going to be contributing all of the ad revenue i get from this video to the charity attached.
Love your content man ,great vid .KEEP PUSHING
ill never stop
Brilliant video man.
Over the past year, I'd been gaining more interest in the Speedrunning community as something that somehow contributed productively in my growing issue of unproductivity towards my goals, by I guess, motivating me through the ethos of Speedrunning, and how much dedication it takes.
Among all the channels I follow though, yours is by far my go-to channel, and the one I recommend people who are interested in the community.
It's helped me through some of my darker moments over the past few years by giving me new perspectives on situations, All from the completely unrelated topic of speedrunning video games; our minds truly function in mysterious ways.
Thank you for sharing your story, and I hope no matter what happens, you keep on kicking ass at whatever you choose to pursue!
- Gen
it was nice hearing your story man. listening to what you've been through and how u came out on top will hopefully provide inspiration to others to continue pursuing their dreams.
between work and personal issues, your videos helped filled a void at night that would otherwise be consumed by depression, sadness, or a board state of mind.
kind of made me tear up listening to your story and hearing your piece, but hopefully talking about it provided some comfort my guy.
keep it up! i love the speedrun history videos, and i hope u get that boost that shoots you to the moon.
you definitely should play gunz the duel you'd fall in love with that game
Damn. More people need to see this, a true gem of a video. Hats off to you for fighting on despite your life being so turbulent, and props for having the balls to tell it all to your audience here on CZcams.
I relate to this a lot for sure. Being a CZcamsr that creates similar content and is of similar size to you, i've been speedrunning since 2011 and fell in love with the community, the scene and the concept itself. Every day when i came home from school i would not do my homework and i would just stream runs of Jak & Daxter, making pocket money on the side. But the goal for me was to be the greatest, and 10 years later i still have the any% record. I never had any passion for school, and just wanted to be the best speedrunner in whatever game i picked up, but eventually I took the path you took of creating youtube videos, since my personality is way too dry to be an explosive extroverted twitch streamer, and i don't regret it. In a way it's sort of my way of paying the community back for granting me a home that i never had in real life. I can relate a lot to the parents too. My parents divorced when i was 6 and my dad doesn't really care about what i do, just about if i make money. I was severely depressed for almost all of 2019 and i decided to make the drastic decision of moving to the UK for 6 months to live with one of my best friends i met through speedrunning. There i started my CZcams career and it's been going ok. Slow progress, but i'm on the grind. I basically handicapped myself from the start by picking playstation games rather than Nintendo. I'm sure you can relate. You're an honest and hard working guy and i couldn't have more respect for you.
I really hope to meet you some day at a GDQ or a future event of some kind. I tried picking up skateboarding recently and i gotta say you did influence me a bit with those sick videos on twitter ^^. But i 've put it on the shelf for now since i don't have any close IRL friends here in Denmark that want to skate, but maybe i'll meet you some day and you can teach me a thing or two.
Superb video, inspirational and relatable in far too many ways.
Thanks.
- Ricky
I love u. Love your runs and videos!
It still amazes me after watching all that footage the local shop didn't sponsor you! You're a rad human and thank you for sharing your story!
jesus christ your an insane skateboarder dude
I would've never guessed that waifu is one hell of a skater, respect
he skiped your coment , he dont liked i think because skate is a dark place for him, but for me skate is a happy place
atleast respect how skating got Waifu traumatizing.
have you sen his hair?
I was about to commiting suicid when a friend rang my doorbell when i didn't except anyone to come over. It was and still is one of the most surreal things i have even fucking experienced, like a angle appearing from nowhere to save me. Luckely I am much better now, And lissening to sewerlvt feels like that surreal feeling of being saved again. It's amazing what one person can do to change a life.
If you are still struggling I really hope you will get well soon. But if you are doing good know that someone else might have you as a rock in their life so check up on people
Made me bawl my eyes out in the second sentence
I can't imagine exactly how you felt during those points in your life, and I doubt most people will. But the strength it took to make this video is truly admirable. Thank you.
As someone who has personally been affected by suicide and selfharm and depression this was big breath of fresh air thanks for sharing this dude!
Honestly, I didn't know I needed to hear this. I've been stuck at a job that goes no where, body image issues, depression, and always just feel like my efforts go no where. That I'm stuck in a box or trying to climb a mountain where the peak always just moves farther and farther away. Watching your streams are always just a great time and honestly make me wanna get into speed running myself. It gives me an outlet instead of just bashing my head into PvP games. Thank you friends and I'll always continue to support ya!
Wow. Was definitely not expecting such a bomb. And i thank you for it.
First things first: I sincerely hope you're doing well now. I have watched your youtube vids for.... a year, maybe? But never felt the urge to comment on anything. I assumed you were one of the ones "who made it", and had an audience, a stream of subscribers on twitch and whatnot.
So, allow me to not waste this opportunity:
You're an incredible entertainer. Your videos are fun, well thought and engaging. The vibe you give off, especially in those videos where you interact with your chat shows you're a caring and fun-loving person. A good person to have and to be around.
Now add to all that your history, as fucked up as it was, and it shows not only you turned out an incredible person but your resilience is enviable to say the very least. You are an inspiration. Keep at it, and don't be afraid to celebrate your small achievements either.
In the entire video, you talk about celebrating a single time. Don't be overly hard on yourself. Have your goals, set your sights on something big. But set up small checkpoints and make sure to celebrate them. Take this tip from someone who "survived" depression himself. That was my key. And one I've seen used (and be successful) a couple times.
***
I'll share my own story here, in case you're midly interested and hoping you can find anything useful/relatable. And in the best hopes that it helps someone out there.
I'm a 33 yr old guy all the way down from Brazil. My father was an alcoholic depressive asshole. Let's semi-skip this part and just say out of the three scars I have in my face, two were "crafted". By hand. In the form of closed fists. He was, however, the financial anchor of the family, so my mom had to stay tied to him in order for my brother and I to be able to eat at all.
When growing up, I showed some proficiency at sports. Plus I grew up quite fast (too fast for my own body to handle, actually. Stopped at 192cm, age 13), but that did get me into volleyball. I went to school in the morning until 12:30, and practice started at 13:00 every day. My dad gave me money to have lunch. I didn't. Ever.
At 7:30pm practice ended and I walked home (2h walk) just to save those scraps of money, Like 5 bucks a day, which I then gave to my mom. And then went practicing by myself, training fundamentals against a wall.
After every championship, every medal, my mom made sure to find a way to celebrate (she later told me she used my very money for this!). Even the shit championships that didn't really matter. Like something inter-schools or something. I was set in becoming a god player and nothing or anyone would take me away from it. Nobody could take my sights of my goal of, one day, playing for Brazil's national volleyball squad. And I kept the routine of 6-7 hours of practice every day + 2h walk home + exercising on my free time and working on my basics practicing with nothing but a ball and a wall. Ever striving to improve and become better and better to, one day, be free.
I made it to Brazil's national volleyball team a couple years later (which used to be THE shit back in those days). The same game that got me in, however, also cost me my left elbow. I got injured pretty bad and that was a deathblow to my carrer. That's when I developed depression. For nearly two years, I did nothing. What ~could~ I do, after all? Life was volleyball and sleep. Nothing else. And the volleyball part of it was ripped from me from one day to another alongside a left arm and a longlife injury to one of my knees. (i'm 33 and walk with a cane).
There's a saying that goes: "Every athlete dies twice. Once at retirement, once like everybody else."
And it is true. I have died once already. Life had no meaning, no purpose, no future. And for two years I played games and slept. Skipping meals, fucked up sleeping schedules, getting addicted to coffee, all that jazz you know all too well. Just like the zombies in Left 4 Dead. Actually... they are more active than I was back then.
I had a heart to heart with my mom after two years of that and she nudged me towards going to college. I chose Economics. Something had clicked and I had a goal once more. And every completed semester, my mom made sure she'd scrape out a way to celebrate. Be it take me to dinner somewhere fancy, buy me a new game to sink my vacations in or whatever the hell she could think of that could be considered a small landmark. A small celebration.
I didn't realize the value of it back then. But once more there it was.... the celebrations after what I felt like meaningless milestones she had set for me.
This year, 2021, 8 years post graduation, I decided to pursue a masters degree in Economics. Theres a huge test (famous for fucking you at every single corner) you need to pass in order to get in. I was hoping for #450-500 out of 5k people. Top 10% on my first try would've been a good checkpoint, given average time to get approved is 3 years.
Turns out I scored #196, which was good enough to, at least, be contacted by the very two institutions I want to enroll at. Official invitations will be sent on the 24th (today is the 20th).
This result felt amazing. Much better than what I had hoped. But I didn't tell anyone (except mom and wife). Afterall, it's not what I set out for. I set out to get approved and #196 is no guarantee.
I was spent, mentally. Burnt out after studying for a year. Dreading doing it all over again. But the goal is the goal, right? I set my sights on that mountain and I would climb it. No matter the cost. Sanity included, who gives a fuck?
My best friend caught the news (mom told him, ofc). He didn't call. He showed up uninvited, woke me up, threw me into the shower and took me out for booze.
I got so drunk I don't remember over half of the night. My wife found me in the morning, sleeping on the grass outside the house, with my key in hands. LOL
Turns out I feel invigorated and ready for another year of grinding! I never noticed how invigorating those small moments with my mom were.
And I finally realized what my mom always tried to imprint: small checkpoints and small celebrations are incredibly important to keep sanity in check and to allow yourself moments of happiness and freedom while still pursuing a goal.
I see now, my mom wasn't HAPPY that I had won a meaningless medal on an easy championship or anything. Those small celebrations weren't devaluing my efforts. They weren't keeping me from becoming a pro athlete. They weren't, as I thought back then, taking time away from my practice.
She was trying to show me that there are small moments, small things in life we take for granted when setting our sights on something greater. And she wanted me to experience them. Fleeting, small, but oh-so important moments where you take yourself back and just.... enjoy being alive... and appreciate what you have, with the people you have around you. Before putting your head down again and grinding it all over again like a madman.
I don't know you. And most likely never will. Not personally at least. But should you ever need to talk to someone, don't be scared to. There are always people around willing to help. And I'd be willing as well. Even from afar.
And next year, you can say you know of a guy who had a shit childhood and turned out to be a Master in economics. And in... 5 years you will get to say that guy turned PhD!
If you ever need to talk, just lmk. I'll make a point to join your discord, even though I don't have time to follow speedruns anymore. :D
Cherrs, bud! And congratulations on surviving your story and being brave enough to share it all!
And if a random reader got this far, learn this:
Celebrate small moments, small goals and small achievements! ALLOW yourself to be happy. And then you'll start finding happiness.
wow amazing story and comment thank you for sharing, we are stronger together. ill remember to celebrate and i hope you do too.
Both your post and the original video were something I desperately needed to hear, so thank you both.
I was on the verge of giving up on my dreams but yall reminded me what is important in life.
I could literally write a whole book sharing this story, so Ive decided Im gonna make my own video (Which Ive been pondering for years).
If nothing else, itll help me express all of the feelings and memories that Ive bottled up.
And maybe itll be a good way of actually getting my loved ones to understand what this all means to me.
If you read this far,then thank you for your time and I pray to god that you are maintaining to some extent.
Everything is copacetic. Ka is a wheel.
Glad you found a way to outplay the "game" :)
This video was amazing and I can see the amount of effort you put into it.
What a heart-touching video. Thanks for sharing Waifu, this was something else entirely. I know you've been through a lot and I think its shaped you into a better person, both onscreen and off. I look forward to the future you have on twitch and youtube.
I love you homie, I know you didn’t have the easiest time about it either and I’m so fucking proud of how far you have come. As well as where you are sure to go
Seeing you opening up and talking about finding a purpose really gives me hope one day I will find my true purpose in this world. I have failed at everything I have placed as my purpose and have been fighting my own thoughts for years. Thank you for this video, your videos are such a light in my dark life and the lives of many others.
Wish I saw this earlier, when I struggled a lot. But even now it is a good to know that I am not alone. Thanks.
this actually made me cry I am so fucking proud of you waifu you're such an inspiration
along with Jvnko's story, this video about the lowest points in your life makes me feel like i have hope in the world. unfortunately not everyone gets a happy childhood and what we do during those horrible years form who we are today. thank you for making this video, im sure it was hard to do so.
I've never been able to finish a solo run in Left 4 Dead 2, but for the grind to be so analogous for you... Your tenacity is really admirable. You deserve every bit of success you see. Much love, Waifu
damm hope you are doing better than before suicide thoughts must suck
i wasnt prepared for this kinda video. but im glad you were able to share. gives me hope even just a little bit
Thank you for sharing this story, very inspirational and it hits home on certain points.
Good luck with anything you will be doing in life.
Incredible story my friend, the things that rock bottom teach you are lessons no mentor or class can ever touch. Your resilience through hell has gifted you an incredible outlook on life and it has spread to your fans and viewers. You're a bright light and we're incredibly thankful you trusted us with your story!
Diamonds get formed through heat and pressure, and diamonds never crack!
I discovered your channel through algorithm shenanigans several months ago. I wouldn't say its comforting that we have a shared suffering but this is coming out a very rough time for me and a time where all my efforts have pretty much failed to get the life and job I wanted. We have a lot of similarities and I'm still not fully ready to accept that I can't do the improbable but it's refreshing to hear people talk about failures instead of just brag about successes. I don't want you to give up but I'm glad you were able to identify destructive tendencies and fix them and your reflection made me realize some of my own similar issues with obsession improvement. Just don't give up it's always the underdogs that make actual change and progress.
2 things:
First, bouncing from a career in skateboarding to a "career" in video game speedrunning with a half hearted back-up in video game design is crazy and stresses me out.
Second, this is some real shit though, and I appreciate the sharing of it.
I’ve loved your videos but seeing you skate it just warms my heart dawg idk what it I just relate to your story dawg
This video feels like a journey to watch. Thank you for pouring your soul into skateboarding, streaming, speedrunning, and this video, for if you hadn't, you wouldn't have been the youtuber I enjoy watching so much. You are not alone bro
I related to so many things that you said and thank you for sharing your story. You are an inspiration to not only streamers or speed runner's , but to everyday people just trying to find their place. Keep up the great content and I appreciate you spreading awareness that there is always hope.
This video was very touching & you’ve inspired me! Keep doing what you’re doing. 💪
Stay strong man, i love your videos and im very glad that tank didn't ruin your run
This video was the best mental boost in awhile for me. I admire the grind and especially you’re sharing story
I always come back to this video every now and again it means a lot to me, i hate thinking about the past but one thing i do like thinking about from back then is left for dead. Im 20 years old and i am much different than what i used to be and regret my past but your channel/content always brings a smile to my face and reminds me of how innocent i used to be. Please never stop uploading content as you are my favourite left for dead content creator and always will be thank you 👍🏽
Such a great video man thanks for sharing! All the respect to you and your story
Thank you Waifu, for putting this out. I cant express how much I related to this in my own way. Cried a little. Thank you for giving me some more hope.
Honestly, watching people do what they love is quite amazing. It's great to see you finally doing what you've wanted to do!
Found you a few months ago and I instantly became obsessed. Thank you for being so raw and honest with us, I know it wasn’t easy. Keep doing what you love man, we’re here to support you all the way
one of the most inspirational videos on youtube.
thank you so much for sharing your story
i love your videos waifuruns. Keep up the grind man!
This video was inspiring and makes me want to believe in myself as I believe in others, thank you for sharing man, I know it wasn't easy
Idk what I was expecting when I clicked on this but this wasn't it. Man. You poured your heart out. Thank you for telling your story. It had me hooked.
your skate edit in the middle was constant bangers!!!! holy shit!
You are truly am inspiration dude, thankyou for sharing this.
You "came out of nowhere" and impacted me. Thank you for existing, your story is really touching
I may not have been a part of this channel for very long, I only discovered you a few months ago even, but that doesn’t stop me from saying you’re an inspiration. The dedication you put towards things is astonishing, and after hearing all this I’m even more happy for you that streaming worked out
You're an amazing content creator and a damn good speedrunner. No matter what is to come no one can take either of those achievements from you. Your videos are actively getting me through tough times and I appreciate it a lot.
What a great video. Apart from being a great skater and speedrunner, you're also an awesome storyteller. Thanks for sharing your journey (so far)!
Thank you for this video; I didn’t know I needed but you truly moved me. Thanks man
i only recently have started watching your videos and i really enjoyed the content and loved every bit of your own runs and the other runs that were being explained by you and performed by other people, i really hope you're in a better place now and i hope it just keeps getting better for you now, good luck on the grind and we will always love you trent-sama
So glad I found you a while back so I could be here for this video. This is a great piece, love how you shaped the concept and organized and delivered it all. Thanks for helping others learn and grow through sharing your experiences. Glad you're hanging in there man, you deserve to be very proud of the work you've put into finding yourself. :)
What a great video damn I loved this one. Thank you for all the insight in your life and being so open about it.
This sucks man I so glad that you didn’t end it all you are one of my favorite CZcamsr and got me in to speed running
Thank you so much for sharing your story. You are so strong and it is inspiring to hear someone fight for what they truly want. Keep up the hard work and i wish you all the best
Thank you. What a phenomenal video!
Surprised that you were relatively "small" back when I watched you. Like, small as in you were still debating whether you could full time yt / twitch.
I watched you back when you did the DMC3 speedrun on agdq.
You had a very striking personality, and it matched your skills. I swear I thought you were one of the big names in speedrunning.
Still, glad to see you still here, and making speedruns. Cheers m8.
Really well done video, I love that you were able to share your experiences and that you're doing better now. I've also personally been trying to figure out recently what I'm going to do with the rest of my life, especially my career, so it was awesome to see how you balanced skating and content creation, and how you found your way to where you are now
Thanks for the video! Wish you the best! Nice Death t-shirt btw!
Thank you for fighting through all that adversity. Then feeling comfortable enough to talk about it to the public. It means a lot to us
Respect. It's super surprising for me to find out the stories behind you. It all happened not even long time ago. Good to see you got it now.
I know exactly how it feels to have the world fall apart around you and it feel hopeless but you prevailed you found something you loved and had passion for thank you for sharing your story because it makes me wanna make a difference in my life and not let the people I love dictate my life when they don’t understand it if I ever make anything of my life I’ll be in your stream to tell you tho
Holy shit dude you’re a legend at skating too! I wish I could land just some of these tricks you pulled off, you’re rad!!
Jesus man I had no idea you'd been through all of this, I can't even begin to imagine how hard it could have been to experience all of this. Much love and keep doing what your doing, you're an inspiration to many :)
I went through a pretty nasty breakup a year or so ago. It was pretty bad to the point where I wouldn't get out of bed and I was constantly alone in my room. I was at my lowest point I would consider. But also during this time I watched a shit ton of left 4 dead TAS runs and regular runs, and I discovered your channel. Watching all the runs and your videos explaining the runs really helped me get out of my funk. Cheers man. Your story really resonated with me
my man it takes a lot of balls to open up like this and it is beautiful story one that will help a lot of people and the fact that you were willing to tell it and say all the things alot of people are thinking and going thur while also showing that passions can overcome the norm its great man im glad you made this video its way more important than just a speedrun this is life changing advice you may give your all at something but another passion may bloom in the middle of it and sometimes you just have to go for it im happy for you man gg
This video really touched me, and I'm very glad you were here to make it. Keep doing what you love man we are all here to cheer you on
This is a beautiful video man, well done.
I've found your channel thanks to tomatoanus and really enjoyed your content so far. I have to admit, I didn't expect something so personal all of a sudden but goddamn your parents' attitude towards you really brought forth some bad memories and it really made this whole video a lot more relatable. I'm glad you are still here with us, I'm glad you are still skating and doing speedruns and I'm glad that there are still absolute madlads like you out there in the world. Keep your head up dude, you are never alone.
This is an incredible story. I wish you nothing but success.
Love the content, man. Thanks! And take care of yourself.
I've never thought things were so rough for you and I'm actually amazed how far and strong you were all this time, that passion and will to keep going dude, that's something to admire. I hope jvnko see this.
Holy shit! What a life man, not only that but you are so introspective as well.
As a fellow depression sufferer who's dealt with betrayals and really dark times, I feel for you. I had started watching this video back when it first came out and got sidetracked. I'm glad your post reminded me to watch it. I applaud anyone and everyone who shines a light on mental health issues because it's still not something people like to discuss. I was also shocked to see you're a pretty damn good skater! ❤
I'm almost 39 and have dealt with depression since 6th grade. There have been bad times and good, thankfully similar to you I managed to find the right therapist with the right advice at the right time and I've been as good as I've been in almost a decade. I have similar issues letting people in, taking an interest in others and major issues just accepting compliments, but I'm genuinely working on those things. It's a strange new world to not feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders, but it's a good strange.
If you're feeling down, get help. If you don't like your therapist, try another. It's not like a primary doctor. You have to find one you mesh with or you'll never accept their advice. Trust me, when you find the right one they work what seem to be miracles.
I’m glad to see no matter what you truly never gave up man. Your videos and content is truly amazing and always a joy to watch and I feel it’s something that I’m glad to be able to enjoy. Always remember to keep your head up and be happy with who you are and what makes you the person you are because your truly an inspiration.
Enjoy the journey, dont care about the destination. Excellent video man.
So many people told me to watch this video and I finally got around to watching it now. I am absolutely speechless and nearly shed a tear a couple times while watching this. Thank you for sharing such an incredible story.
I'm so glad I watched this video, right at this moment in my life. It really resonated with me, and it inspires me. Thank you very much.
Wow. This was powerful.... glad you're still around
Great video Waifu. I appreciate the raw honesty and powerful message along with it. I think many people could benefit from watching. Sounds like you’re finding ur path and I think content creation is a crucial part of it, ur channels one of my favorites.
Great video bro a lot of people wouldn’t do this open up like this , this video was beautiful !
This video is great in so many says and I cant even explain how it felt to watch it, well to me at least I felt really touched and like I could relate with somebody. I feel like I was in a 1 on 1 conversation talking to a friend i hadn't seen since kindergarten or something. I seriously felt as if that last part was speaking to my soul and I'm sure many other people felt like that. It is very crazy how one can gamble all of their life to something they love and still fail, but continue trying and refusing to fail. I know the video is old and never even seen it or heard of it. Thank you for sharing your life in a small video, I'm sure it took a while to gather yourself to even upload this, let alone remember everything that happened. I was having a bad day before this but now I feel like I can take on the world, I'm sure and I hope many other people if not all felt inspired and motivated from this too, I will come back to this video and my comment and see how much I've changed and grown out of my depression. Please I encourage everybody to seek help if you are depressed and suicidal, if you feel like you need to Express all you have felt and let it all out, please comment under this comment and help each other. Not just on my comment but on others as well. And Thank you waifu, thank you for inspiring me to take on the world and the dark storms ahead.
Hay I live in Arizona as well, and I went to Art Institiute of Phoenix. I thought I recognized some of the locations in your vid haha. Seriously though I have some understanding of what you went through, and I'm glad you found a way to happiness.
First off, youre sick on the board yo i had no idea u skated, but damn ur insane. Im also very happy to see youre doing ok after all that shit. Im forever a fan waifu
I didn't know that you were this way until now. I got recommended this channel while browsing through Left 4 Dead 2 vids and speedruns, seeing that fated run, seeing your run on GDQ. At the very least you are doing much better off now, and I hope this would continue for you man. Good luck!
I can see how coach, maxxy and bawk speak so highly of you.
Thank you for sharing your story. Need something like that…
You can still do whatever it is that you truly want to my man! Trust that shit! Look how you’ve built your own community of 70,000 plus people that’s no easy feat! I wish you much success and I hope all of your desires come to fruition my brother! Love your videos !
After watching this video my respect for you grew so much like i saw your content for the first time about 2 weeks ago and i had no idea you went trough hell i just saw your speedruns and was like "this guy is good" .I don't know if you spoke about this stuff before but thank you for sharing your inspirational story with us bro i would like to stop by and chat with you on your future streams (oh and btw the skate futage was amazing i loved every single second of it) keep on grinding you deserve everything this world gives you.
I hope you are still skating. great video.
Absolutely amazing video, my man. I've enjoyed your video essays a lot since I only got interested in speedrunning fairly recently, but this is just some great insight and inspiration in general. Thank you so much for this. I'm struggling with depression myself and absolutely admire the sober tone in which you talk about your life, your struggles and your aspirations here.
Hope you're well and will keep making great content
This is the second video i watched from your channel and the video that i never asked for, but IS the video i need, i'm struggling with some deep shit since the past year.
Thank you for sharing and put your effort to make this.
Subscribed.
Damn, that was some serious stuff. Congrats to you though for finding your way and getting therapy. Stuff like this gives me hope that I might be okay one day too.
God damn, you have my greatest respect. And thanks for this, its something I and a lot of people need to hear.
Thank you for making this video. I came across you thanks to that same L4D2 GDQ run that fortunately got in. It is one of my favorite runs of the online GDQs. I've learned that the man behind that run is so much more deep than the stupid jokes and shenanigans he performs on stream. Your story is incredible, more exciting and terrifying than anything I've ever experienced. Thank you for sharing it.
It's so easy to be told that getting a degree and finding a job will solve your problems, but no over ever gives a shit if the goals they placed before you are anything you give a shit about. My parents treated my education the same way; getting a degree was just something for them to check off that they did a good job as a parent, despite me being the one that went through the bullshit for it. I can't say my life was anything like yours, but I definitely feel like we came from similar parents.
I look forward to supporting you through your future content. You're a wonderful performer, a dedicated runner, and an awesome person in general. Sending as much love as I can over a bit of text on a YT vid
youre super good at skating! when most people say they skate they really mean they ride a longboard to school. you're the real deal! love watching your runs! keep it up :)
Thank you waifu this video is just what I needed, ur an amazing person I genuinely love ur vids and genuinely believe you're a great person keep it up through ur highs and lows ur bringing so many me included out of ours
Sick skate footage, and compelling commentary. Keep it up, dude! you're easily one of my favorite runners along Bawkbasoup and CarcinogenSDA.
This is such a raw, touching, and inspirational video. You're one of my favourite streamers from GDQ and your journey through the tidal wave of depression is beyond admirable. I feel I've learned a lot from your determination.
Best of luck with all your future endeavours, dude!
P.S I hope you still find time to skate as you can SHRED! 😉
A brave man that never gives up. Ur mind is definitely strong as well as ur body for all the skateboarding.
Hey man, I know how hard life can hit and it's not so easy to share our failures like you did but I'm happy that you never gave up. Keep it up, you are great at what you do. Don't ever doubt it
Amazing man! I love you and your content man! One of the very best content creator and speedrunner out there!
I want to thank you for sharing your story.
I’ve been stuck in my own time loop of working two jobs ending up with 7 day work week schedules, being a musician with multiple failed/incomplete projects, and landing in the complete sense of loneliness even when those I love are all around me.
I moved out earlier this year and it’s been very difficult adjusting to the newfound stress. My alcohol intake went up out of boredom, I lacked meaningful sleep due to work, I lacked personal time to discover what I really enjoyed. It just felt that I was watching myself fight against withering away.
It wasn’t up until recently I’ve been attempting to turn things around. It’s been painful, as burned bridges create wildfires, but it’s transformative.
I really understand you throughout the whole video because you don’t hold back how you felt then and how you feel now. It takes a certain sense of strength to convey those emotions, and it’s something that we can all build off of.
I know I’ve been long winded, but I just want to say thank you.
I shared my own story on another comment so I won't repeat it all here. But, as you set a goal, it's easy to lose yourself, keeping your eyes locked on the very top of the mountain. Don't.
Set up small goals for yourself. Small achievable goals. Like.... Something you can legit achieve in a couple of days. And allow yourself to unwind and celebrate it.
Depression has no cure, you just "learn to live with it". This little thing has helped me out in keeping that ghost at bay.
Be strong, buddy! You can do it! And should you need someone to talk to, don't hesitate! Scream out loud to the four winds and you'll be surprised how close help has always been ;)
God bless you man, actual crazy story
Bro, I love your videos, I love watching you stream, but hot damn you're a damn good skater
Watching this video helped me a lot, thank you.