5 Tips For Helping Your BABY BOOMER Parents Declutter (+ Homary Review)
VloĆŸit
- Äas pĆidĂĄn 1. 07. 2023
- Discount code for 7% off: enl7 (off the whole site)
Office Chair for US site: bit.ly/44lYT2f
Office Chair for UK site: bit.ly/444Fi72
Coffee Table for US site: bit.ly/3XyU1EX
Coffee Table for UK site: bit.ly/3NWiUY0
Watching: 5 Tips For Helping Your BABY BOOMER Parents Declutter (+ Homary Review)
đ Stay up to date on the book & course launch: thesuitcasedesigner.aweb.page...
đ Product Links & Discounts*:
â Amazon Store: www.amazon.com/shop/thesuitca...
â Hulken Bag: bit.ly/3VSdnDZ
CODE: TSD5 for 5% OFF
âPrene Bags: www.prenebags.com/?ta_aff=IJM...
Code: SUITCASEDESIGNER
âMedicube: AgeR Glow Booster-H: medicube.us/777e5
10% off CODE: SUITCASEDESIGNER10
âBrooklinen: bit.ly/BrooklinenTSD -
$20 off orders over $100 CODE: TheSuitcaseDesigner
COLLAB:
đ§ thesuitcasedesigner@gmail.com
MY MUSIC: Sign up for a 30 day free trial with Epidemic Sound here!*
đ” bit.ly/3RWsSIH
*This is an affiliate link. I receive commission on any of your purchases using these links. It's absolutely free for you and it helps support TSD.
#declutter #decluttering #howto #Homary Review #Homary - ZĂĄbava
If you have any other tips or lessons learned (mistakes) that you want to share, let us know!
If you want to shop at Homary with 7% use code: enl7
Fh
Probably putting things in categories especially for new stuff coming in made it easier for them to know where to put stuff and see how much they had an over abundance of, also getting a trash bag for the room so they can keep up with trash or mail, also taking time here and there to go through it with them and have place they can put new mail so they can go through it quickly and trash what they need trash and then sort rest to deal with appropriately
Then organizing those categorized spaces for them so itâs little nicer to access and tweaking it to their behaviors helps, asking questions or pointing out when they have several of the same thing helps and it stays in their mind so they will revisit the idea
April, as I was watching your video, I realized I was crying. I am a boomer parent, but I was thinking about my grandparents. They grew up during the depression, and they were dirt poor. They learned how to stretch a dollar, and never threw anything away that they might be able to use. They had kids that were raised to eat everything on their plate, work a job, even if they hated it, and save for the next Great Depression. Their kids were the first generation of latch key kids. We grew up watching tv where everyone had perfect jobs, perfect homes, and perfect kids. We raised our kids a little different, but now that theyâre grown, weâre putting our parents in nursing homes, or worse. Dealing with divorce, and careers coming to an end, and often, our own health scares. We also had to deal with our parentsâ stuff. The last thing we want to do is start sorting through our lifetime of crap. But, thanks to your channel, and some good books, Iâve realized this is something that not only I can do, but I have to do. Itâs not fair to my daughter to leave it all for her. So, I have begun the process of editing my life to a manageable amount for me and her.
Such great insight into our generation! Best of luck as you start the process with your own possessions. đ
@@bevalexander5897 Iâm with you, sister!
You're so right. That mentality coming out of the depression stuck with that generation and was passed on to the next. How has your journey been a year later?
@@dianaprince7713 I am happy to report I have gotten rid of quite a bit of furniture and other house hold items, and more than half of my clothes. The hardest things for me to let go of is paperwork. So afraid Iâm going to get audited, or have to go to court for some reason, and wonât have the paperwork Iâll need. Iâve started scanning all of the stuff Iâm afraid to toss, and have it on my computer, and threw away the originals.
Iâm 82, and my husband died last Fall. Iâm good at decluttering, but there is sooo much that was his. With my sonsâ help, the garage and shed are really good. I worked for months on the basement, which wasnât a hoarder situation. He just had a lot of tools, hardwood for furniture., etc. Then, I took a break, and Iâll resume in the Fall. I have two sailboats and three kayaks to sell, and a rowboat. Yikes.
good for you. at least you're making the effort.
So sorry for the loss of your husband.
@@kims914 Thank you, Kim.
What kind of boats and where are you located?
â@@shakalakazam
Hi friend :)
Respectfully, CZcams is not a safe place to discuss locations, and since the op is from a generation that did not grow up with all this tech, and the safety rules that go with it, I just wanted to mention that. I mean no disrespect :)
Remember that older people or people with disabilities need to take breaks more often. Decisions fatigue is also a huge thing for them xxxxxx
Comment 2 if no one minds: About depression era relatives thatâs overlooked. They were the children and grandchildren of people who lived on farms or otherwise didnât hop into a car if they needed a gallon of milk. They stored things for later use in the food line so it was natural to keep other useful things as well. What we see as an unnecessary ball of string was their equivalent of tape for a package, rubber bands, and Iâm sure a dozen things we wouldnât think of. It wasnât just âsaving in case itâs neededâ, itâs a leftover skill of thinking ahead and keeping food for the winter ahead thatâs left in our culture still. We all laugh about keeping margarine containers but they must have looked super useful for all sorts of things when they hit the market. If only mom would have stopped at an inventory of 10 for usefulness.
Well said.
Sooo true. Depression era babies had to reuse everything. It was hard wired within them. Who knows, perhaps one day we may have to follow suit.
Well said, but what I understand is they had attic, store room ,barn etc to store items. They would even do a yearly spring clean in those places once/ twice a year . Which is not the same anymore.They wouldn't keep useless items like our generation does .Every item had a purpose.
@@siyarakb5305 and things were repairable,not like the junk today.đ
@@lauramitchell6725 True , antique furniture , copper utensils I find in others home sturdy as ever .
As someone who tried (and failed) to help a relative who could have had Boomer grandchildren, just remember you can lead the horses to water but you can't make them drink.
for sure đ
I had to help my mother last summer to clean out after my (hoarding) father passed away. My experience is that she could do just fine, as long as she was given time and grace to work in layers. She did like four or five rounds to get where she is today. It helped her tremendously being able to process all the feeling in bits and pieces.
Thank you so much for being here, you've taught me a lot about patience and kindness during the process đ
Oh I can't imagine how hard that would be in combining loss & hoarding. Good for your mom (and I'm sure she appreciated your help)đ
I am the parent in this situation. I have been decluttering for a few years now. I started 5 years ago with Christmas decorations. Chose what I wanted to keep. Asked my kids if there were any they wanted, donated the rest . I have been making over my house and with each room ...at least one truck load goes!!
I will never be a minimalist, that is not me...but I am living with less and my goal is that my kids won't be overwhelmed with my home....in the future...lol...far into the future...BTW I am only 59.
I loved watching you help your parents.
I'm pretty much the same age as you and I don't have kids so our estate will be dealt with my solicitors. Fine, I won't me here by that point. But I have realised that I don't want to live my own life in clutter anymore. I still have some of my childhood toys. In boxes under the beds or in drawers or my attic. Why?! I have way too many books so I will be off-loading a lot of those. Books are heavy. I've just had to deal with my dad's large collection. I only want to keep those I will read again. And much as I love the idea of them, most reference books I don't look at. Everything we want to know is on the internet and up to date. I will keep any novels I think I might read again. I'm a great book buyer and won't be able to do that on a pension, so I want a library of books I know I will enjoy reading for my retirement.
Most of all I want to be able to walk into any room in my house and clean it easily. Wipe the surfaces, vacuum the floor and clean the windows without much effort and without having to move things all the time. I don't want ornaments anymore. My favourite things to display is an assortment of very old, small bottles, that we found buried in the garden when foundations were being dug for a building project. They had been dumped there when no longer needed. I love those.
My husband is a hoarder, so I have a struggle with his stuff. But I'm determined. I want easy clean and tidy. Like it was when we moved into our cottage 27 years ago.
Boomers were raised by parents who were traumatized by the Great Depression and WWII. So, yeah.
Be brave and March on!
Iâm the parentâŠthis is such a great video⊠youâve hit this spot on. Iâm working on cleaning out. My kids help once in awhile. Living in our house for 30 yrs doesnât help. Iâve saved wayyyy to much. It is exhausting. And the emotional attachment to things is difficult.
As a caregiver for my 90 yr old parent who is not able to do any of these things anymore, I am faced with cleaning out his house when he passes. I already helped with that chore when my grandfather passed. I am determined not to leave this chore for my own daughter, and so have begun the process with my own house.
Thanks for a compassionate approach to helping parents declutter.
8:00 I heard your cat meowing and I looked around and thought it was my cat LOL
Great advice. My observation would be that we could start by making sure we donât have stuff stored in our old bedrooms. I see so many situations where kids are storing junk at their parentâs place or telling their parents they want to keep stuff but are not willing to take it home with them. Thatâs not fair if weâre telling our parents they need to deal with their clutter! I would also ask parents specifically if thereâs anything they perceive to be ours, maybe put it all in one spot for us to go through. My parents were keeping stuff for me that I didnât even know existed any more or that wasnât actually mine. Love the new chair - I spotted it right away! For a minute I thought you had moved already.
Amen,this is a BIG pet peave of mine!đđ»
This is so true! I kept some of my stuff at my parentâs apartment after I got married and then I had to move internationally so I piled even more stuff both in my parentâs place and my in-lawsâ place. But almost a year after the move I realized how egotistical it is of me to make people live in places full of my âgarbageâ. So I went back, collected every single thing I had left behind, packed in boxes and asked my mom to send them to me after I leave. Because people donât have to live with my clutter đą And mind, weâre talking about people living in small apartments, too(
@@lushawang3445 Good for you for coming to those realizations,congratulations,youâre an adult now!đđ»
I also like the thought about asking them. âwhat they perceive to be oursâ. I would also add, âwhat they think should be oursâ. When we were in our thirties,we were invited over to some friends in their fifties.She showed me their (very organized) basement storage with floor to ceiling racks of EVERYTHING they had ever upgraded. If she bought a new dish drainer,the old one went on the shelf for her kids,etc,etc. (Two out of three were already on their own)đŹ
@@lauramitchell6725 wow!
Your comment on staying somewhere else is so true. My husband's brother stayed at the old vacant farm house and had difficulty getting much done. We went at a separate time and stayed in a hotel. In 13 days (over 2 trips) we filled 1.5 dumpsters and going to a hotel each night was wonderful!
đđđđ
We declutterers can be a teeny bit born again about the entire thing. We know how much it changed our life and want everyone to experience that wonderful feeling of lightness and freedom. However, I've had to slowly learn that other people don't always have that feeling - they don't feel heavy with a lot of stuff and they won't feel any relief if it goes - only anxiety and stress. For those of us who do feel that heaviness of having stuff piled up and not being used - being in that environment is like a lower form of torture - it clouds our minds and weighs on our emotions - so it's hard not to try to convince our loved ones to come over to our side of the argument.
Iâm a Boomer. Iâm constantly trying to declutter knowing that Iâm nearing the end of life, and not wanting to leave my only child with the same burden my own hoarder mother left me. Itâs really hard. Not just the losses and trauma and nostalgic reasons to keep things, but the shear exhaustion of life slowing down. As you mentioned, I cannot move as quickly as I used to, neither physically nor mentally. I am acutely aware of that, and I am also acutely aware of my daughterâs frustration with me because of it and because of our different opinions of importance. Iâve adapted to the way I have to operate, and have incorporated my own weaknesses and my daughterâs traits to make it so that she can help me in a way that I need to be helped and I can make progress. I do that by puttering. Itâs what I do best. I just have an overall idea of the direction things should be moving and I make sure that my puttering moves things along in that general direction. I keep a box in the hallway for donations, and I add to it as often as I find something to add to it. This often means Iâll declutter an item from the kitchen, then three from a closet, then another one from the bedroom. Once the box or two boxes are close to full, I ask my daughter to come help me. No matter what we end up doing, she takes the boxes away and when she leaves, I start my puttering all over again.
I'm a tail-end Boomer (b1961), and I've been trying to get my older sister (b1955) to declutter in preparation for downsizing from a four-story house to a small apartment. She's pretty stubborn to begin with, but stuff is her addiction, so it's been hard. However, I keep reminding her that once she's in her new space, it's going to feel like a vacation, because she will have so much less house and yard and STUFF to take care of. As the process has progressed, she has built up her decluttering muscles and has taken on some of my advice that she resisted at first (like throwing out the cases from her CDs and DVDs and storing them in Tyvek sleeves instead). Who wants to be a slave to STUFF at 70?
I've been attempting a "Swedish death clean" myself, and I've found that one thing that makes it easier is seeing the joy that others experience when gifted with my unused objects. I've given away a lot of items through my local Facebook Buy Nothing group and also to my local historical society for their annual yard sale. Countless libraries have benefitted from my book donations. Gifting can give you the same dopamine rush that shopping gives you.
â ââ @@RadCenter. Every CZcams decluttering channel should use your last sentence,â Gifting can give you the same dopamine rush that shopping gives you.â đđđ»đ Well said! I used to watch the show âHoardersâ on A&E to scare me straight and get me off of the sofa. They were usually pretty depressing for various reasons but one amazing one that was actually a success story was a woman who was a compulsive shopper. (her house didnât have bugs and dead animals,so her stuff could actually be donated). She had lost all of her possessions in a house fire when she was younger,hence the shopping and hoarding. As soon as one of the people suggested that she donate it to others who had lost everything in a fire,she let MOST of it go! Happily! đđ»
I hope I can teach my mom this. Sheâs a tail-end boomer too (â60) and sheâs been drowning in stuff. Iâve tried to do my share in helping her but she is very adamant about her collections of things and scarcity mentality. I get frustrated sometimes but I try to have patience. I do worry a lot though as I am moving from PR to TX so I wonât be able to help her as frequently. đ Hopefully next year I can visit and help some more.
A long post. Iâm a boomer and my sister and I tried many times to help my mom organize and declutter her 3 bedroom home of 50+ years. She never wanted to deal with it and often said sheâll leave it for us to deal with. Unfortunately she needed to move into a care facility and her fully paid off home needed to be sold to pay for her new place. So my sister and I had to do it all without momâs help. Hence my sister and I have a more positive attitude to decluttering our own places. I donât want to leave it for my sons.
Iâve tried helping 60-70 yr old relatives. Yes, sometimes itâs difficult to let go and change habits. I decluttered the pantry and spice cabinet of my relative. She called me later and she said it changed her perspective of her buying habits. She was over buying and not using what she had. Also, she was always buying on deals and sales which encouraged her to spend more. It made her sad she wasted money because many of the items were expired. She realized she did not NEED more space. Overall she was happy with the work I done in her space and was inspired to declutter the rest of her kitchen.
I am 64; I started decluttering over 2 yrs ago. It began as a way of making things simpler for me and turned into Swedish death cleaning. My son is grateful, and he benefits from me doing this now. He took what he wanted and could enjoy the things he wanted before we passed on. I was never a hoarder and have always gotten rid of things, but what an eye-opener after 2 yrs to see such a lighter space and more enjoyable.
The incentive for my 86 year old mom to declutter was that she can no longer reach items up high or down very low and she needed to clear the floors for the walker she needs to use more now. I spent two weeks working with her with those parameters in mind. She still kept things I would have tossed but the things she needs/uses regularly are now within easy reach and she can move around the house without bumping into stacks of things, boxes, baskets etc. We did donate and toss a lot of things she just doesn't use any more. I was very proud of her! (bonus: I came home with pillowcases that she embroidered in high school!)
Your mom is so fortunate that you had time to help her declutter and organize. My brother and I worked full time (plus) jobs and had to spend months of our weekends (Saturdays AND Sundays) cleaning out my parents' place. We were pretty resentful that we had to spend our weekends doing this because our parents never took the time. (They'd go off in the motorhome, having fun.) I'll never forget my brother, looking up from the clutter, saying, "Gee Mom & Dad. I sure hope you had fun on YOUR weekends." And, fortunately, neither one of us had children to take care of in addition to our jobs...on top of having to deal with our parents' stuffed house. BTW, I knew we couldn't begin to declutter while they were alive. Mom wouldn't even allow me to throw away a big, empty box that was halfway into the steps. ("It's a perfectly good box!") Yes, they were depression babies. But friends, please, Swedish Death Clean for your kids or for whoever is going to have to go through your stuff.
Good tips. I would like to add that even if someone doesnÂŽt want your help going through things they might very well love to have some help with heavy lifting, getting things from top/bottom spaces, garage and so on. Without you demand to participate in the declutter process. And very important, to take bags and boxes away from the home, carry to the car and so on.
If your parents aren't willing to declutter or downsize, but you have, it's possible to view this as the best outcome for everyone. I was already a minimalist, so decluttering my parents' stuff after they passed wasn't a burden to me. In fact, it's easy to be decisive with other peoples' stuff when I've gone through the process on myself. Another reason to be a minimalist if you aspire to be one.
I think this will be the case for me. Thank you for sharing!
You speak the truth. Unfortunately, my sister and I had to force some decluttering on my parents for some health and safety reasons. It wasn't a good time for anyone and there are still some hard feelings, so if you can persuade people before a crisis sets in, I highly recommend it!! Keep up the great work April!!
Thatâs so true the resentment necessary decluttering can cause is awful. My mother in law is still mad with me for getting her to clear out her pantry, even though everything we removed was expired or a duplicate. She had unused pasta making machines with dead maggots in them! We are very different generations.
This is the most kind and thoughtful video I have seen on decluttering. I'm 58 and preparing for my retirement. I am transitioning to a new phase of life and it's quite an adjustment. Iâm cleaning out my deceased motherâs house as well as my own and itâs so overwhelming. This helps me give myself grace, especially while I work with my younger sibling who gets impatient with my slower pace. Your parents are lucky you understand! Thank you for making something I can share â€
The best thing my mom did was to have one whole room for sorting. Plenty of space to see what she had, group items, photo and store if she wanted us to try selling. The goal was for it to be empty and i think it helped that she could shut the door on it and also she could clearly see progress.
An empty room makes the whole process so much easier, that was a great idea to start her with.
A Staging Area! Wish I had one!
Iâm on the cusp of being a baby boomer as I was born in 1959. Donât have any parents anymore, nor parents in law, but here are some things that I have observed about my mom and about myself.
1. Mom and I both feel like itâs important to not be a burden on oneâs children. And my sister has been very taken with the concept of Swedish death cleaning. If you can wrangle your parent into that mindset, with a constant drip of enticing information, phrased just the right way, you prepare the way psychologically.
2. Itâs OK if it takes a lot of time. Really.
3. Spend a lot of time talking and learning about how your parent feels about their stuff, the specific items. It can help you figure out where the low hanging fruit is, and which things are going to be difficult, and which may simply need to stay.
4. If possible, before applying any pressure about decluttering, enjoy lots of conversations about decorating style over the ages, their own hopes and dreams about that, or whether it is a dead end. If itâs a dead end, your parent may be depressed and need other interventions. Or they just might not care. But if they do care, even a little bit, this is where you can take photos of the parents house and your house, and Have fun laughing about how it really looks versus how it looks when you look at it was just your eyeballs instead of in a photo. This is a fun reality check for anyone who wants to feel prouder of their space, and donât realize that it looks a little bit too cluttered.
5. Find a way to make it a team effort, and a mutual project. Is there something that your parent can help you with? My daughter and I are helping each other out with tasks that the other one just isnât good at, and which, for various reasons we procrastinate on. I think anyone of any age is going to feel better if they donât feel like someone elseâs âproject.â
6. Take time to pat yourselves on the back, celebrate with something With a lunch out, or just do something thatâs fun for both of you. Turn the memory of decluttering into something fantastic.
Very good video.
Iâm a Boomer who helped my mother downsize. She did not have the volume of things your parents have but she had many many things that she valued. I started her in the main bathroom with a three box system: trash, keep and not sure. Then we moved to the guest bedroom with the three box method. When each room was completed she realized that she really didnât need but a few things from the not sure box and the rest ended up in her garage sale or was carted off to the thrift store.
I also want to say that my mother and father took time to make extensive lists of what they wanted to give to each of their children and grandchildren. As she was declining and about to leave her home she sat with me and their lists and i carefully placed each item in the box marked for each loved one. It was incredibly helpful and surprisingly prevented arguments between siblings.
Thank you for your calm and helpful channel.
All sweet words. I managed to get my mom into a townhome that was 1,000 square feet less but in the process ruined our relationship. We didnât have time to wait but I wish I hadnât forced so much.
Iâm so sorry to hear that. I hope that you both can mend things after some time has passed đ
me, my husband and my sister-in-law tried to declutter the shoe closet which included my mon-in-laws shoes, we ended up having a minor fight because she didnât want to get rid of any of her shoes (and a lot of them were damaged and were not suitable for wearing in public, but sheâs the âletâs keep it just in caseâ type of person), but we kept on insisting while explaining why she has to throw away severely damaged shoes and eventually she let us do âwhatever you wantâ and went on washing the dishes and cooking while we were decluttering, in the end she did like the new organized shoe closet very much
My mom is a Gen X'er, not a Boomer, but I helped her declutter and get organized after her husband suddenly passed. It's definitely the sentimentality we attach to things that is the hardest to overcome. But I was so proud of the progress she made and that she let me help her find new homes for a lot of the items they'd accumulated over the years. And you're right, sometimes it just takes time. She's now ready to let go of some things she couldn't two years ago.
We've also been slowly trying to help my grandma declutter her house, where she's been holding on to items from when her children were very young afraid to throw away anything they might still need. But the reality is, if it's still here after 50 years, they don't need it. But she needs affirmation from everyone to help her let go.
I have several baby boomers in my life. Iâm Gen X. My sister is a minimalist and a clean freak. My brother is an âorganizedâ hoarder with acres of property with buildings and storage structures filled full of all kinds of stuff (such as an old school bus loaded with porcelain toilets). But my dear friend (babysitter back in the day) is a full on extreme hoarder. Itâs so bad she canât safely prepare a meal and eat it in comfort. She has no sheets on her bed. Her dryer doesnât work. She has 8 cats. She has meal moths and bedbugs. I spent a week with her last month (I had an Airbnb) to help her start the process of gaining control of her home. She said nothing was trash, but she allowed me to recycle and get her couch cleaned off so that was a win (hundreds of plastic grocery bags). Paperwork is her driving force. She believes she can sue those who have wronged her in the past, over 20+ years ago. ; she had trouble letting me discard of receipts/documents from 1998! I feel defeated. We didnât have one fight, but she has every excuse why she canât clean out her home. Although she says she wants to move next year, she says it will take years to clean out her home and put it on the market. And Iâm seriously afraid the city would condemn her home if they saw inside.
Your advice, kindness and understanding has helped me catch my breath; thank you.
Iâm going to watch this video again. And if anyone has any advice to help us, please share with me. Thank you.
@@OkieTLB you are a saint! God bless you for helping your lifetime friend.
Iâm helping my aging piano teacher to deal with accumulation of stuff a little bit at a time.
The process feels painfully slow in the moment, but afterwards the benefit is evident.
As a Baby Boomer who has had to help my own Baby Boomer mother declutter in order to downsize, here are some more perspectives to understand. âShameâ was and is one of the strongest, unspoken feelings. Be sure not to use even an ounce of âshameâ when you declutter with them. It might even be unintentional âshameâ that they/we translate as âshameâ quite easily. You seeâŠ
1) that they were brought up on the idea that one only possesses what one needs; not just what one wants. Buying beyond your âneedsâ was frivolous and not âessentialâ. When they were buying their âthingsâ, few people had disposable income at the level that others experience today. The only way they received items for the family (kitchen, entertainment, bedding, etc) was through gifts received for very special events (marriage, a young girlâs âhope chestâ, etc). And these gift-giving times were quite rare. If they wanted to buy anything, think living room furniture, it took months or years of scrimping/budgeting/saving to be able to afford it. If they spent on anything beyond that (think personal items like clothing, cosmetics, âgadgetsâ, soaps, candles, etc), that was called âsplurgingâ. A lot of shame was attached to splurging. A lot of shame was attached to getting rid of âperfectly good itemsâ. So much shame was attached to getting rid of anything. If you didnât care for a gift that someone else went out of their way, and used their âsavingsâ to buy; that was âshamefulâ. Shame was a big thing in our early culture and Saving was the way to have whatever you needed for your household and your family. âShame on youâ was an easily used expression when someone thought you were doing something just for yourself or if you âsplurgedâ on yourself.
2) understand that without the disposable income, every penny went into providing only for food, family, shelter, and whatever extra money was to be saved and not spent.
3) understand that theyâve seen huge changes in their lives regarding the availability of buying âanythingâ. Growing up, the concept of âkeeping up with the Jonesesâ was not just âto beâ like them but also âto spendâ like them, but⊠if the Joneses bought their child a doll, your own child would only be able to get that same doll. There wasnât the diversity of items available to purchase (locally). If the neighbour bought a new bike, there were very few optionsâŠyou would either get the same bike or if your husband or father felt they couldnât afford to provide you with one, theyâd rummage around and find the parts to MAKE a new bike. And, you never complained, you were to show appreciation or your next wish would not be fulfilled⊠again, shame on you for wanting a bike; shame on you for not appreciating a home-made version; shame on you.
4) understand, that to provide beyond the house, home, family, & food, the things you would buy and the things you would find, you would hold ontoâŠ.so that when you couldnât buy a specific dress for your daughter, or a bike for your son, you would go into your âstashâ and try to make âas good asâ whatever your child wanted/needed so they didnât feel left out, because others would say, âwhat a Shame they canât give their son/daughter something.
Very insightful. I'm 70 next year, and I can testify to the truthfulness of what you say.
My mil was the would say oh im going to do this and then it wouldnt happen. My husband said, shes been saying that for 20 years, going through the attic. Time had a different meaning to her. She had a fridge filled with magnets and little pieces of papers, with everyones phone number all over the fridge. It looked a mess to and hard to find a number. So i got a little book and wrote everyones numbers that was on the fridge, but i didnt remove all the magnets or little pieces of papers, knowing that would set her off. One time i heard her tell her husband how handy it was to have all the numbers in one place, that i did that. She didnt give out compliments much.
After we moved away they had a house cleaner come in weekly, they got to a point where the house was clean, but they really liked her and wanted her to keep coming back. So she went through their stuff and decluttered. The message seemed to come through better when it wasnt a family member.
My mom and her husband are collectors and always buying stuff. Their house hardly has room on the walls ect. I dont think my mom wants to face the fact of her husbands buying habits because its higher end, therefore not âhoardingâ to her.
After speaking to my mother several times about wills over 10 years and what would happen to all they collect, she finally talked to me about it. They never wanted to admit they are getting older or that death is even a thing, where in younger generations its looked at as less of a hush hush concept. They keep more quiet, to keep up appearances, where we are openly talking about mental health now.
I dont think there was even a decluttering concept for most of their lives, except for maybe garage sales.
Thanks for these tips. After my Mom died in 2021 I helped my Dad sort through a house packed with 23 years of things. I donât know that my Mom would have ever allowed me to help declutter but my Dad did not have the same attachment to most of the things. We ended up donating so much fabric to Momâs quilting guilds and rehoming lots and lots of craft supplies. I do not want my kids to have to do anything like that huge process once I am gone so I am mindful of that in my own decisions about what I keep. Thanks for all you do April.
I am doing the opposite right now. I'm 72 and helping my 31 pregnant daughter and her husband declutter their apartment before the baby is born. I've declutter my stuff years ago and I'm making sure when I die no one will have take months to clan my apartment.
I have been trying to help my mother declutter for 4 years, after my father passed away. One has to have extra, extra patience and grace with a memory loss issue . My mother will go back to items we have put in a pile 3,4,5x's and go through it. Gentle reminders that we were going to donate items or throw away the trash over and over again are trying. I have the added benefit that I am having conflict with other family members.
Even for older ones without memory issues,itâs vital to keep trash and donations moving out of the house. Like put EACH new bag outside or in the car IMMEDIATELY.
I have always appreciated your style. But now, I am totally impressed by the empathy you express, from the heart. Thanks for sharing!
thank you! (but just to be clear... I wasn't the spitting image of the perfect child while helping either parent, but I learned a lot đ)
Thank you for this. We have been helping my mother declutter after losing my stepfather and having to downsize. We have told her to go at her own pace and we have created a monster! She has definitely developed her decluttering muscles. Now I get calls asking if I want things and if I don't want it is going.....
Tell her âYou go girl!â from me.đ đđ€Ł
Here's the opposite side of the coin. I'm a boomer and I help my kids clear out their home. I helped clear out 3 family homes about 20 years ago and that did it for me. I didn't know what it was called at the time but I guess I became a minimalist. I swore I would never saddle my children with a big mess of STUFF.
MY tips are remember to eat and stay hydrated. I Helped my In-laws yesterday they are preparing to leave their house for an apartment. They are overwhelmed at this point. They had this large house where the father ran his practice out of. They have things that belonged to so many family members who have passed on or moved. Old hobbies. I went in and helped as someone who had no real sentimental attachment and helped clear out boxes and toss trash. We were in the basement mostly.
Boomers can benefit from framing this as âgiving to others what I no longer needâ. These are gifts to people youâll never meet. Also, never suggest throwing anything away (see other comments on shame, guilt, and wastefulness) . Everything to donation drop off and let them sort it
Boomer here. Also a Swedish death cleaning advocate. My response to your first sentence was an đ. My next, she's right. Many of us were raised by depression era parents. And save for a rainy day is the watch phrase from that ideology. And the biggest...we're coming to terms with degrees of financial, physical and mental band width reduced ability. A lot of that frustration looks for an external target. The more you persist the bigger the target you will become.
Boomer here, too. Decluttering is YEARS in the making. They taught us well, did they not?
I guess Iâm unusual in that I love to declutter, and the main floor, at least, of my two-story house is decluttered, and good progress on the rest. I have no daughters, so except for the garage, basement and shed, itâs up to me. Iâm not a boomer, either. Iâm about 4 years older. Both of our mothers decluttered their houses very well, but it was still a fairly big job to empty their houses âlater.â
We are 68 and 72, and have been in our new home for 3 years. I've decided if it hasnt been used in 3 years, it can go. We also decluttered before we moved. It is hard because our mind set was to save for that rainy day. My daughter says shes ok with the amount of stuff in our home and appreciates that i continue to declutter. I do love decorating so will have to address that when im ready.
I really appreciate your thoughts on this subject. I have tried to help my mom declutter and it goes okay, but there are so many things she wants to keep that just donât make sense to me. After the fact, she mentioned that she doesnât want to be pushed anymore on those items, because she regrets getting rid of some of the items I encouraged her to declutter. She said this with some tears in her eyes, and now I feel horrible about doing that. It really is a process thatâs not about you, and all about them. Like you mentioned, let them have some âthinking pilesâ and give them time to process letting go. I think people from the boomer generation can tend to connect memories to physical items. They also want to have items âjust in caseâ they need them, and I donât think we can undo that.
You are so right. I can't explain what it is, I'm a boomer struggling with this. I think we were sucked into the first materialistic time period by our depression era parents. Everything had sooo much importance in the 50's, they saw possessions as success so we better respect it! Including all the plastic yogurt containers đ!
Boomer with depression era parents here as well. To top that off, we were also poor, so we had to reuse and repurpose just to get by. When I was married, we were still poor and then my husband was laid off when I was pregnant with my 3rd child. The cupboards were very bare and this was in the 80s when they were cutting all the welfare programs. I vowed then that my kids would never again go hungry but that turned me into a food hoarder. Which led to other things I couldnât let go of. I have moved twice in the past 18 months and that has really helped me cut back on the amount of stuff I have. But as I am unpacking boxes in my new home, I am making myself donate at least one thing out of every box or tote. Many boxes have a lot of things that are being donated because I never even opened the boxes at the last place. Still have a hard time not over buying food but I am trying to work on that. But I am determined not to have so much stuff for my kids to go through when Iâm gone.
I helped my mother declutter but was under huge pressure. It was not fun. My Mother sold her house about a year after my Dad passed away. Dad and Mom had been married 72 years. I had asked my Mother to please go through her things for at least 8 years. She never did. The weekend I listed her house (Iâm her daughter and I was her Realtor) she decided she wanted to move to Assisted Living that next weekend! Her house sold right away and I was under extreme pressure to declutter. It was awful. About 20 trips to Goodwill. Family took some things she no longer needed. It was challenging for all of us.
When doing a new decluttering of items the remaining items have a new visual location for people to learn and start a new memory of where the items are and not get frustrated at the items new location. The familiar location of an item is now gone and you need to remember the new location. It is a visual thing.
You definitely get declutter muscles the more you do it and you realize you only want to keep you are using now.
Agreed!
My mother recently moved and downsized, she did declutter some.
The kitchen was the worse area, she had 4 gravy boats, not once in the last 34 years has she used a gravy boat đ
đ€Łhopefully you guys had some good laughs with finding them. I think we found 3-4 hand mixers in my moms kitchen and had a good laugh.
@@SpaceMakerMethod absolutely and she kept all 4 đ
You know, in her fantasy mind she perhaps wished for formal meal time with you where a gravy boat was used because you are special and she wanted to treat you that way. Sometimes people have reasons for keeping things that you have no clue about and please donât judge them for it. Telling you she wanted to have formal meals with gravy with you might hurt too much to share if you have never helped make that happen or desired it.
Something that baby boomers are dealing with in addition to loss of parents is death of dreams to be dramatic. All the things one might do some day that probably arenât going to happen.
PS. The coffee table looks very versatile piece. Good choice
Yes,your fantasy self.đ (let me add tho,I recently got rid of all my Wilton cake decorating things that I thought I would have the time to get better at but Iâm too tired and everything hurts. Guess what,Iâm relieved!)
Very astute and actually spot on! Loss of aspiration is heartbreaking, but to keep the "evidence" of "failure" around the house taunting you is just masochistic!
Good point. I think that bothers my husband. For myself I'd prefer to be free of the clutter to pursue the things I still have time and energy to do. Maybe menopause has helped me realise I really am in a different stage of life.
Yes, I'm a single, childless, arthritic 73, and mentally wrestling with all the (often damaged) furniture pieces I have from my parents and grandparents, which are cluttering my condo tremendously. Will I ever restore them? Extremely doubtful. Due to condition issues, they're worth little to sell, and nieces and nephews don't want 'em. I hate to just toss though. I'm thinking of asking local Facebook friends if a furniture restoration project or two might be of interest.
It helps me immensely to have my daughter sit with me as I go thru things, I don't know why it helps me so much.
I was just visiting my mid70 year old parents and luckily the house is very organized, but there is a lot. My mom and I had a "discussion" about an unplugged cordless landline phone that she keeps in the guest room just in case someone needs it. My mom can come up with an excuse/explanation for every item in her home. If she offers an item to someone and we say we don't want it she will keep it because we "might change our minds." She is physically very well but her memory has been an issue lately, so the idea of gently offering to help and her thinking about it is just not happening, because she doesn't remember the conversations. When I suggest that one day we'll have to sort all of this stuff and wouldn't it be nice if she didn't leave ALL of this to her kids to try and deal with etc. She doesn't seem to care. She really doesn't understand how she could be in charge of her future while she still is cognizant. I just see her standing in the middle of her house while everyone is packing, and donating and throwing away her stuff cause we're out of time and she has to move into a home or with a family member.
I really like how you organize, and take in the other person's feelings when their possessions are being looked through and how to decide what to do. Your closest organization of Eunice's things was very well done. Your videos are ones that I really look forward to each week. Keep up the excellent work!!
Iâve watched so many minimalist and decluttering videos as someone who alway embraces this less is more lifestyle, loving frugality and honestly empty square footage in my home but Iâm fascinated by the psychology of why people do what they do. You did a beautiful job talking about grace and respect into someone elseâs mind and personal space.â€
I think two good topics to keep in mind throughout the journey would be accessibility and purpose. I'm 46 but I have issues reaching and bending and I am trying to keep it firmly a high priority as I reuse, recreate and reimagine our house. My limited space in our family of three home, (800sqft). When we move, we have priorities every time. When we moved here, I was five months pregnant with our daughter, so much the nesting stage, with the plan of staying until she was ready for 1st grade. She is twelve now lol. Life changes, and our house needs to painstakingly 'un-little-kid'. All the baby clothes, carseats, ugh, it's so emotional, so hard for me, particularly as she was our only. She needs her teen room, we need office-type spaces to be revamped, all spaces to work double duty and I need pans and other kitchen items in weird places, but places I can safely reach. It might not make sense but looking at furnishings in a new light, for new uses, can help so much so you don't need to buy new but 'shop' from your own possessions. It might look crazy to turn a bookshelf into a bakers rack, but who cares? This also helps during those in between times before all is done but you still have to cohabitate and live in a 'working on it' phase. But, all that said, if you could come over and just hold my hand, I could really, really do this. You're doing incredible work for your folks and for others April †Everyone deserves a cheerleader in these moments and you are so good at the little wins keeping people pumped and positive!
I would like your mum to make a video from her perspective. How does she feel about your apartment? I think a more important question for me (early 60s) is which of my possessions do I get the most joy/pleasure/use from. So, starting with what I most want/need to keep. Then it becomes far easier to part with things. And it also means that buying "new" items becomes more intentional. ("new" in inverted commas because buying second hand is less wasteful)
Iâm a boomer whoâs been on a minimalistic journey for five years. Thank you for the truths youâve shared with us. We only want the best for our families, but have to respect their wishes. Sending you love from Abilene.â€Patti
I can relate to your parents, I'm their age and know how it is when it comes to decluttering. I would've never been able to do it with my parents because I wasn't in your position. I would've never been able to detach myself completely and see their belongings from an outsiders point of view. Even then, I would've encourage them to a point of getting rid of things whether they were ready or not. It's funny now, but it wasn't funny back then. With that said, yes an adult child has to use psychology, tons and tons of patience and see their things as a complete stranger. I take my hat off to you and your husband for applying those requirements when it came to helping your parents. In addition to all the love, understanding and compassion. Bravo to you and your husband. I'm sure you have very happy parents that are using their available time to do things they really enjoy and are able to do thanks to you and your beloved husband. 2 thumbs up for you two.
Thank you for making this video, April! Interesting timing. I recently turned 29, and not only have I been helping my mom (almost 64) go through her things, but also her mother (almost 89) go through things too.
I can tell that my mom has a hard time going through things now when they didn't maybe 15 years ago. But recently she's been rocking it with the decluttering. I've been working with my grandma as well. She has major health issues. When her parents passed away, her sisters and niece took things that was meant for her, and I know departing with items really doesn't settle well with her. She's not a hoarder though - her house was always spotless when I was growing up. But little by little, I encourage her even with one or two things decluttered. Right now she's working on a stack of magazines that I hope will clear up some space.
Patience is definitely key with working with parents (and grandparents!). There's a huge story behind many items one way or another.
ooof, us americans have so much stuff. I shudder when thinking about undoing my 82 year old Mom's house.
The only thing I would add to your list of tips is The Minimal Mom- sheâs been on both sides of the journey.
Lead by example is soo important in my opinion. I enjoy decluttering and a tidy home, my husband does not care that much about it. This summer we are moving from an apartment to an actual home (so exciting), and I do not want to move stuff I don't love anymore and last weekend I decluttered somethings. And all of a sudden he started putting some of his own items in my declutter bag :)
This is a valuable reminder⊠it seems all my friends parents are aging but mine arenât but in reality, theyâre getting older too and I donât see it â€
If your Relative is determined to keep the broken/weird thing or if they insist on trying to sell/fix the useless thing, it is not worth the fight or the energy. Just acquiesce to what they want, especially since it is their space. Pick your battles. Not all hills are worth dying on.
Every summer I go through things in storage. If I havenât used an item or had a need for it, I put it in a give away box to Love or Goodwill. Amazing how much I get rid of each year.
I love this video. My mom has been dealing with my grandparents' (now her) home for two years now, but she's not ready to declutter more so I'm not pushing. She knows I find a lot of joy in having less so in the meantime I'll just emulate my hopes for her.
April, you were made for this work. You have a special gift! Thank you for sharing with us. I always look forward to your content and I'm cheering you on to 100K.
Izzy meows EXACTLY like my single-brain-celled orange tabby begging for food. He almost got Petey in trouble for begging, lol. đ
Iâm writing this at the very beginning of the video, so you might get to this. I saw a few comments from people on your videos during the series where you were helping your mum where they said things like âI would tell her she could keep only five mugs and had to get rid of the restâ etc. We need to show respect to our parents (and others) and not treat them as children. They are adults with agency and they tend to be much more emotionally attached to things. It never helps to shame or pressure people and they are allowed to keep whatever they want to keep. Donât boss them around or bully them into thingsâŠ
Such great advice. I've been helping my mom, who is technically younger than a boomer but yeah, realizing it takes her longer to make decisions and part with things. But we have been at it for a while and I'm SO proud of her đ she has made so much progress.
You have been a great motivator , inspiring me to declutter, so that my children donât have to deal with it in future.
Iâm almost 65 and the way I help myself now is to ask myself how I would do something in THIS season of my life. I mentioned to someone elseâs comment about mourning the death of our fantasy selves,that I got rid of my Wilton cake decorating stuff and was actually relieved. With my current (and permanent) energy level, I ask myself,what do I do for dessert when we have people over? The answer is that I either ask THEM to bring dessert or I BUY something at a great bakery. Even if I have my act together and feel like whipping something up,truthfully itâs going to be a dump cake or a Bundt cake so THEREâS my answer. My point is that this can be a gentle line of questioning when helping an older person in their kitchen for example. âHow do you do --- now?â ( I watched a decluttering channel where she was helping a couple in their eighties and there were MULTIPLES of muffin tins,can pans,LARGE roasting pans,etc. The helper cleaned out the cabinets and then put MOST of it back at her request, I just shook my head sadly.đ)
An 80 year old can make muffins! Why make her get rid of it? ( unless they don't fit or she has multiples!) My 85 year old sister is A WONDERFULL BAKER!
@@elizabethcallihan9971 Sorry,I should have added that her physical health had deteriorated so much that you could barely move around (same for her) and thatâs why she needed this cleaner to shovel out the house. Believe me,there was no baking going on here,but kudos to your sister.
I hope to never again get sucked into helping someone declutter, who doesn't actually want help, but just wants to complain. It is a loose loose situation. Either I'm made to feel guilty for not helping, or put down for helping.
So different perspective: Iâm a widowed boomer and I want to declutter my daughtersâ things in my house and storage unit. One daughter has her own house and Iâve given her most of her things. The other daughter is a student living away at school and at home at times. I want to declutter toys, school books, loads of clothes, things left from my husband. I meet with a lot of resistance, procrastination, complaints of no time. Some work has been accomplished over years but not enough. I am able to declutter my stuff and I do it regularly. Please donât tell me to threaten them or throw the stuff out because I simply donât have the stomach for that. Suggestions?
Every time that she comes home,have a pile waiting on the dining room table.( If she is still grieving,maybe not items that were her fatherâs) If you have the time,sort all of the clothes then say: âthis pile has holes or stains,this pile doesnât seem to be your style any longer,this pile may not fit,etc. Can I donate these?â I do this ALL of the time with my husband,heâs always relieved that I didnât get rid of anything behind his back AND that Iâve already done half of the work,that his choices usually EXEED my expectations.đđ» The reality about the storage unit may come down to some tough love and lessons in adulting. Tell her that you are not going to waste anymore money on a storage unit so all of her stuff can come back to her room or she can start renting her own unit. Bring home a brochure that outlines the sizes and costs of the various units,it will hopefully be an eye opener.
@@lauramitchell6725 thank you, great ideas!!
I think for the daughter with her own home, ask her to take her things or approve their donation. Make a pile when she visits or send her photos of the items to say which ones sheâs willing to take.
For the one whoâs still a student, be more lax. She has a small space, sheâs probably moving every year, itâs not fair to ask her to take on storage. When she has her own place in a few years, do the same as for her sister.
I would also say donât rush it if you have more storage space than they do: itâs a comforting feeling for young women starting out in life to feel they still have a home base to retreat to and their stuff may feel like a placeholder at your house in that regard. These are my suggestions!
@@emmy8526 thank you for your perspective-patience is key when it comes to family.
you are so compassionate . Yes our generations revery different , I totally agree when you say don't force it . getting old is not for sissies
Wonderful tips and lessons you've learned April! I've tried helping family and friends but I'm so passionate about minimal living my own opinions get in the way! I'm listening to you and hopefully I can put these tips into play. I won't mention how old I am!! LOL You might be surprised. LKMH
Where to start it is definitely a key for boomers, listen to your parents pass. My mom hade very hard time to let go food and clothes because she had such a poor childhood. So definitely start in the places that your parents has no pass attachment is important, to keep going and not close the door totally in the beginning of the process.
April! You have so much wisdom and great experience in this area! I watched you help your mom and it encouraged me to be more patient with my own mom. She and i were forced to downsize from a big house to a very small apartment. I tried to get her to let go during the move, but she was pushing back really hard so i had to let it go. We moved a 28 foot uhaul truck into 750 sq feet. She needed time to process, and 3 1/2 years later, we're almost done. A hard road but worth giving her the time to come around. â€
You were a good daughter for recognizing when she needed space. Glad to here that youâre making it to the âAfterâ đ
@@SpaceMakerMethod Thank you. It's been great to learn from folks like you that are willing to go deeper into the process and explain the mentality behind it.
A lot of stuff gave my older relatives a feeling of security. So decluttering went with fear. You don't want to have old people in fear. So very small steps and very gentle with a lot of time in between was our way.
@@ennasus5964 I'm in my 60's and had to clean out my parents' overstuffed, four bedroom house about 15 years' ago. (They were depression-era babies.) I worked full time and had to spend about eight weekends with my brother doing this. It was horrible. So my biggest fear is having a house stuffed with stuff. I'm constantly editing...making sure nothing accumulates and gets out of control. And...I love being able to find things easily.
BTW, I knew I couldn't help my parents clean out while they were alive as my mom and I got into a fight over a large box that I wanted to put into recycling. Her rationale: "It's a perfectly good box."
Thanks so much for making this video!! I have already learned a lot from watching you work with your mother. It's so frustrating, but i am coming to realize that i can't give up. Even if she never declutters, i need to keep offering to help when she is ready.
I wish my mother would have been agreeable to declutter back when I suggested we do it. Now, she doesn't even know who I am. And, her husband, that's another story.
I'm a boomer who has lost parents and brothers. I'm mighty impressed with the depth of your insight and understanding. Kindness, kindness, kindness!!!! It's the only way to a person's heart. In the end, it's really all that matters, everything else is gravy. Be well, sweet organizer â€ïž
Honestly all I am able to do is model how much decluttering and minimalism has helped my life. My parents know I love to organize/declutter and will help them if they are interested. However, me pushing is just going to make them not want to do it. We all have to do things in our own time.
I absolutely agree with everything youâre saying I wish Iâve seen this video a couple of weeks ago when I was in England trying to help my mum go through her utility room/2nd kitchen. I was so inspired by Dannyâs video set that Iâve been trying to clear my own over holding mess and when I was over visiting my parents, I offered to help, but I quickly ran into Overwhelm and thatâs enough for today. And like you said, they are not in their 40âs they are double and at times it was so hard. I constantly think about the book I just read Swedish death clean and being an only child living in Canada what would I do for their very cluttered five bedroom house! My mum kept saying well I need that in case, I canât through that I mightâŠâŠ..
Catfish, maybe you can Declutter with her simultaneously via zoom or FaceTime. People actually pay to do that with online CZcamsrs! I think it makes it more fun to have someone to talk to, and bounce ideas off of. And instead of targeting a whole room, you can show your mom that itâs easy to just do one shelf in a cabinet at a time. Something not so overwhelming. Every little bit of effort adds up, wonderfully!
One last understanding, to add to my last âextraâlong comment is this:
5) understand that they were not around such a multitude of easily accessible, variety, of âthingsâ than what their children and grandchildren have been brought up to be easily able to acquire from nearly every corner of the world via internet. When those items became easily available to them (1980s/1990s), now they had greater disposable income than they ever had before in their life. So now they can get âwhatever their heart desiresâ but they still live with the âshameâ mentality that guided their purchasing needs/wants that were established from their childhood right through to their adulthood. It is hard for baby boomers to trust that this world-wide availability of anything that they need or want might not quickly disappear due to a sudden war or unrest. We lived through the need to be aware that in any moment, you may have to depend on what you have in your pantry and yard for everything, and for a long time. This is basically a âscarcity mindsetâ. However, matched with not wanting their children/grandchildren to feel âashamedâ by not having the things they ask for, the baby boomer will spend their saving freely- sometimes too freely. Match that with learning not to feel âshameâ in treating yourself, they again, bought more than they ever needed.
I hope this helps some non-baby boomers to understand the underlying neuron pathways that have been so engraved into our psyche since before birth. I am becoming a minimalist myself, but in some decluttering moments, my scarcity and shame-filled mindset plays a tough role when I decide to give things away. If I can feel like Iâm giving to a specific person (not just a corporation like Value Village) who needs my things more than I do, I feel like Iâm passing on my thing honourably. There is a relationship bond of good happening. This is good for them and for me.
As a 65 year old boomer I am always decluttering and getting rid of stuff. Iâm not going to leave my kids with a house full of a hoarders mess like both our parents did. Itâs the older generation that lived through the depression and WW2 that are the worse. My mom collected the scoops that were inside tide dry detergent containers! One example. With my mil I actually got dry heaves from her disgusting amount of stuff
Thank you for this. We are also dealing with our late parents stuff, and they were the WWII generation. I'm more than a little weary of the online dissing of Boomers as if we were the source of all the world's ills.
With their permission, I would audio record these sessions for treasure trove of family stories. (You would also hear if your voice is as patient and supportive as you think it is.)
This is a great video. I have helped my parents declutter and then move into a small place and now I am decluttering my own space for my kids. The absolute Key is to respect the fact that it is THEIR things, not your problem to solve. Respect their feelings about things and bring up the practical ramification of keeping it. Just what we see you do with clients. Good info here.
This video is so helpful. As someone who works with both of my parents (and am dealing with pretty significant health issues myself), these are all good reminders.
We make it a point to NOT have a storage unit, or to store things in the attic. Itâs a blessing and a curse that things that go into the attic or garage in our climate end up, ruined for the most part. Weâve got extra floor tiles in the attic and thatâs about it.
It is so smart to Declutter Regularly. There is always more in a home than we realize.
Amen!𧥠From your lips to my son's ear...
Thank you for this video!! I can't express how meaningful and important this isâ€
đ
I gave my daughter a lamp 3 yrs ago just in case ot might work someplace in her mew apartment. 3 yrs later i was decluttering her place to be prepared for her new baby ( she needed the help, fully trusted and invited the help)
I found the lamp at the back of a closet and it was clear there was no place it would work in that apartment. I took it to her held it up and said "I AM NOT THE LAMP." It clicked for her. She let go of a lot more stuff and kept the memory. Lol
That is so powerful. People need to understand that stuff isnât the same thing as the person it represents.
I have found taking s photos at the start helps now after decluttering for about 5 years in rounds i can look back and see i no longer have 30 boxes ,i have empty spaces
expectation finishing X,Y and Z / reality finishing HALF of X hahahaha so true!!!!!
Thanks so much for another great video full of inspiration on how to get the homes cleaned out and organize I am 76 years old so this video is very helpful for me as I have so much stuff that I need to clean up get thrown away and organize. Thanks for a wonderful video today. Hugs and kisses from grandma, Sandy and Debbie. Hope you have a wonderful Fourth of July weekend.
Tip #4 is really important to remember. We really are from very different generations! Great video â€
You really presented this with much thoughtfulness. Thank you for a soothing video for this older gal. Thereâs a gentleness that warms the heart. â€
I have never been one who likes clutter. We lived in a small house with almost no storage. So I always kept things to a minimum. We have more square footage than before. After ten years, we still need stuff. Everything has a purpose. I cull continuously. Not all children have to deal with this. My kids will have our place cleaned and ready to put on the market in a matter of days.
April, dear, at our age, we Baby Boomers donât HAVE âa junk drawerâ, we have, oh, at least sixteen in the kitchen and pantry area!