The Myth of 'Letting Go' - Jeff Foster
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- čas přidán 18. 05. 2016
- Jeff Foster on the myth of 'letting go'...
LETTING GO
Let go
of 'letting go'.
(And let go
of not being able
to 'let go'.)
Simply let the moment go
the way the moment goes.
Or not.
And what is left
to 'let go' of?
- Jeff Foster
Its recognition of resistance, and then resistance losing its power.
Essentially you start trying to drop emotions and thoughts.
Then you try to drop the dropping of emotions and thoughts.
Then you recognize the above, the attempt to drop the dropping, and it that you recgonise its all resistance.
Then there no dropping of anything. It just flows.
I've listened to this about 6 or 7 times in the past 2 days, I just can't seem to hear it enough. It's so simple and yet incredibly profound and powerful. I will continue to take it in. I have been grieving the loss of my mom and I'm having the worst time going on without her, I didn't see these children coming and now they all want in. Most of them broken and terrified. I have NEVER felt so small. With the presentation of Jeff's paradigm shift here… it's bringing some new children to my door(?), I want to welcome them in. And while I certainly hope they decide to stay for a while, no guarantees with the "weather", something tells me I will be learning even more deeply what it means to truly "let go" by allowing. Please wish us well. Blessed are those who can hear these words and allow them to lead you to the deepest truths of who WE are. Thank you, Jeff. Love you, man.
Eldon Moore keep on fighting the good fight man
Sending you love.
Thank you so much, Jacqueline. I send you love, too.
Thank you, Eric. I will, man! Appreciate that.
I wish you all the best, it is okay to be not okay, looking at a wider spectrum, the story of "this loss" is a puzzle in life, that makes you stronger, and treasure life more.
I hope you are enjoying your present life with peace and happiness.
Yes, instead of
Freedom From...
we are
Freedom With...
@DrMusicStarr - "Freedom With...." instead of "Freedom From..." Perfect summary of this approach. Almost "Zen"-like in simplicity. Going to use this in my Facebook posting of his video. Known of and even had a few online discussions with Jeff. What I like is that he has owned his first entanglements with "being a teacher" and also seeing the dualism that hyper non-dualists can get trapped in. It's pretty clear comparing older videos of his to newer ones.
In my case -- and one of the topics he and I talked about online at Facebook, is the trap of what I call "nihilistic non-duality." Which can be actually psychologically dangerous. One way to describe this is what another teacher or pointer said, Marianne Williamson - "What is not psychologically healthy is not spiritually healthy either."
She or someone else also said something like, "One can't "let go" of an unhealthy ego, but only a healthy one." Meaning that if one is in the grips of fear or other state that makes one actually fear going wider or experiencing "the sky" of oneself, it's virtually impossible. One can't surrender to anything in a state of fear.
But I digress a tad here, even though describing this kind of "nihilistic non-duality" trap -- and danger of it.
He totally "got" what I was saying - for he went through his own version of it.
In short, he's not shy about being candid about his own foibles and having straying into common spiritual 'ism" traps. And I don't totally agree with him on everything he says for I pedestal no-one or have ever been a "groupie" of any teacher or teaching. "Keep the best, leave the rest" kind of internal radar that has taken me a long time to fine-tune.
BUT there is an integrity and grounded humanity that is obvious about him. He's very approachable. And as with any true "teacher" or pointer, there is a core kindness about what he mirrors back to us.
I too have grieved the loss of both mom and dad . Holidays are the worst. They bring back too much
Too many memories , and too much emotional baggage you thought you'd forgotten. Til you're so sad you can't enjoy like you used to!
Letting go isn't easy.
Your mind wants to hold onto these things. While you want to let go of all this. Plus the people who keep reliving your past mistakes..
Through bring it up over and over!
Letting go is, as you said, letting go of the effort to let go. It's often misunderstood.
Being someone who has dealt with the "war of emotions" for so long, this liberating message brought me to tears. To know that I am free after listening to this message and changing my paradigm about how to give emotions and thoughts there fair space in my life...is the greatest gift I could give myself. Thank you so much Jeff for presenting this in a way that it finally awoke me ❤️✌🏽
This is very true. I’ve done it with many diseases I had. One specifically that caused drs to scratch their heads.
I developed a very severe heart arythmia. It was so brutal. I basically lived in a hospital. This went on for a while, I was mentally exhausted 😢 THEN ONE NIGHT I had a weird urge and strange knowing. I went into the bath, I closed my eyes and I was immediately shown my fetus self in my mom’s womb. I saw tiny tiny heart beat for the first time. I was completely over run with intense love for my heart. Honestly words can’t even describe it. I don’t even know how long I was in this state, tine literally didn’t exist. I kept watching this little fetus heart beat. Once I came to, I start profoundly crying! Again no words to describe this feeling. It was in that exact moment my arrhythmia was no longer an arrhythmia and my heart started to beat normal. I remember being OK with it and knowing that if I were to have an arrhythmia forever, that’s OK because I love my heart and however it wants to be here I was totally willing to allow us to be my new life. But the arythmia liter as on vanished and today 3 years later my heart is still beating normally 🎉❤
So happy you are making vids now! Please don't forget us CZcams folk :) we won't let go!
Chilupian. CC&C
Love. Thank you. It truly helps to think of my feelings as the "children at the door." And give them the unconditional love they have always needed.
I agree. It is a beautiful metaphor that really works for me.
The essence of what Jeff saying is this: you do not need to be free......you ARE free......always have and always will be. And it is a very beautiful message (or teaching) that he is giving us. Namaste!
prayer as I watch this video:
- to awaken more deeply
- to be continuously given insights and downloads that help and assist me
- to unite and be with my twin-flame/soul-mate/true-love
- to successfully thrive off my passions and talents
- for a tribe of real friends
- to be permanently healed on every level and in every way...
My favourite thing to say in my head with each emotion that arises… YOU BELONG HERE
With pain and illnesses, you belong here. ❤
You are a breath of fresh air. I am so grateful to you
Thank you for bringing that together so magnificently.
Really very different understanding about ourselves.We waste our time fighting against ourselves as we are taught to let go of such negative emotions.But now i understand we are like sky where every weather happen and goes😇🙏🏻
I love your teachings. Bless you dear Jeff
Jeff's great ^_^
Been at war with myself judging my own judgement, of myself and others. Judging that judgement is bad and trying to eliminate it, to accept and love everyone unconditionally. Losing discernment trying to force a love of everyone and everything. Being obsessed with perfection and afraid of uncertainty. Going to battle against the inner battle. Tomorrow will probably also be a battle, but it's okay, you can't fall - you can't rise, always perfect in God's eyes.
You are heard I relate to what you wrote it’s 6 years ago so you won’t see this but it’s helped me today and where you are now,I wish you well.
@@kathleenmcnally9583 CZcams just notified me of your comment. Glad I could help 💛
I always feeled that love is the answer even with thoughts and feelings but was always afraid to accept them. Thank you
You are the space and the freedom in which thoughts are allowed to come and go, and not if you don't identify. Which you are able if you... let go of identification!
Love you so much, Jeff! And your closed-captioning is the best I have ever seen. Thank you so much!!
Wonderful simple explanation, not letting go but letting BE. Thanks Jeff, love and appreciation from the Netherlands.
Beautiful ''weather'' in my sky while watching this ...and the wind and the tree.. .and those colors on the wall and in your eyes.
Essentially it's all about not fighting or resisting your experience whatever words you use, whether it's let go, allow, accept, just be, etc, and adopting a kind attitude to yourself. It might also depend on the moment or context for your brand of particular self-talk. If you lie down, after yoga say, you might encourage your body to 'let go'. If you are just sitting meditating, your intention might be to 'allow'. If energy is moving, you might want to 'let it out'. If you are getting stuck in depression, you might opt to go for a walk and take attention away from it. It all depends. Perhaps the words are not so important, but the energy or intention/expectation subtle or otherwise, behind the words. Even 'allowing' could become a formula.. "now I've got it!", albeit a good one.
You beautiful soul. So glad you decided to stay and express your Self. your tone of voice, your energy, your intent, all a unique mix thats you. Love. G
Thank you. Lately I've been really wrapped up in the minutiae of my thoughts and feelings trying to heal things and fix things piece by piece and I'm just becoming more and more detached from reality. Dating someone new and having attachment issues come up has been a big trigger for me becoming overly controlling of my inner experience. Thank you for reminding me that the answers are so much simpler than they seem. The emotions will come and I will make space for them ❤
Beautiful message. It's really that simple. Thanks Jeff.
Absolutely brilliant. I keep hearing the message to let go, bewildered by the concept. But it’s letting go of the resistance, and allowing..that is the flow state
This makes so much sense, thank you!!
"Letting go" is an adept metaphor to explain the process of relaxing. Letting go psychologically means letting go of intentional effort or energy invested in a particular point of view. If our hand is tightly gripping a ball, and we want to let go of the ball, what do we do? Relax the hand, let go of effort, and the ball falls--the energy of thought driving an emotional state dissipates. Still the term "Letting go" in relation to the activity of thought is limited as it can imply some continue doing, some technique, some willing, when in fact it is really an effortless outcome of resting in open awareness and/or shifting our focus to say the breath as in mindfulness training. Letting go in this way is not something we do; it is something we let happen.
We can speak of our true identity as being timeless pure awareness, which can be appreciated, at least to a degree instantly. However, for many of us who are addicted to our fear-based identity/beliefs, which can be extremely destructive at times, we need to spend "time" resting in this awareness, consciously disengaging from them, like an addict who goes to a detox center to withdraw, in order to be truly free. From my view, awakening is both instant and gradual, in the now and with time--the now being the means, who we truly are, and the gradual being the process of letting go of that which we desire, identify with but does not serve us. (Again the "letting go" is something that happens on its own when we neither suppress nor indulge). I would say that whether "letting go" is a myth depends upon how we define it.
Sublime! Thank you, Jeff.
So agree. This has been my experience. Thank you. I came to live in a place with wind fiercer than I'd ever known. As I lived with the wind, it gave me a part of my own nature that had not been known or acceptable up till that time. Wonderful provision...
Love this so much. Grateful to you and your beautiful sharing ♡
This was a great help thank you so much Jeff
Absolutely beautiful, resonating deep in myself
Thank you so much, for reminding me what I've always known
Oh my God, Thank You!!! Yesterday I was meditating at Full Moon time asking for a guidance to go through very difficult period I am having in my life, both physically and emotionally. this really helps. I have been asking myself why other people knows how to let go of the emotions and I cannot. Thank you!
I hadn't heard of you before until this morning I knew I had to tackle my searching for some spiritual destination. I realised 20 mins ago that my spiritual searching was what was driving me crazy! Thank you for being aware and for being here. Thank you for sharing 😏
Thank you for posting! I've been fostering a bunny for 6 months and today he's going to a permanent home. Alot of fostering videos I've watched are people saying it's easy to give them up and were selfish to feel sadness. Your video has reassured me and I'm very thankful!
This is so wonderful as any of Jeff's speech is.
This clarified me about the meaning of letting go which is let it in and stay until it goes.
Until now, Me by trying to let go of thinks I hated or didn't want to meet, I was actually at war with those things which always made me feel miserable. What an ignorance !!
Thanks Jeff, Now I finally became free of those stupid mistake.
Thoughts and feelings are not the problem ….. over identification with them and the additional and unecessary wrestling with them is what creates the unecessary pain …… thoughts and feelings are part of our experience ….. but they are not us - allow them space and watch them move and change and come and go …. So precious just don’t grasp at them ❤
Letting in....
Thank you Jeff
This is only the second time hearing you... "I'm blown wide open" .... thank you...
Thank you Jeff.
Powerful message …
Thank you filling the piece that was missing in my effort to find, what's wrong with "letting go"!!
I knew there's something not quite right without, because it us still "abandoning " the abandoned experience/feeling that had left that memory and gets triggered over and over again. It seemed so unjust. Now I see the analogy "child at the door" is exactly what fits my logic. The last thing my poor/abandoned psyche needs is to be ignored by me unresolved and not vindicated.
This is so damn good. . . All I will say is Thankyou so much Jeff, your awesome. X
I just say this prayer every a.m. and it’s working miracles for, yes, letting go of emotions triggered by old childhood trauma: “I love myself unconditionally, and forgive myself for everything that happened yesterday. I love everyone else unconditionally and forgive them for everything that happened yesterday as well.”‘I am far less rigid in my expectations and judgements of others and the reasons for angry, sad or fearful feelings embedded in past trauma come up naturally for me to peruse with more objectivity and understanding. Old belief systems born of abuse can cause PTSD and hold us back from being more fully and happily functioning that may indeed be eliminated simply by observing them. I finally pinpointed the root cause of my tendency to procrastinate around doing things to better my financial situation and creative process. When I feel that fear - name and allow it - I am far more able to override the fear and “do it anyway.” So I am literally becoming more courageous despite my fear and deal way better with all uncomfortable emotions. Fear and sadness were ignored by my parents. I could cry for hours about something that was emotionally devastating (including my mother’s emotional, mental and physical abuse) and no one would comfort me. Now I have had huge love from my husband of 25 years and my dear friends. But those old feelings of emotional abandonment still bubble up. Now, I observe them and counter negative thinking with self-love.
I love this message
Thank you so much
Jeff Foster.. Thank you! Yey... Everything is just allowed to be... :)
This is AMAZING. Just rings true.
-people try so hard to be free from "negative feelings"
-what if freedom is not in the future but your nature?
-true freedom is your nature to allow all the rise and fall of emotions
-let go of the idea of "letting go"
-sadness is not asking to be healed
-sadness is asking for room for it."Can I exist?"
~:you are the sky, the feelings are the weather, there can be storm, rain, fork, hurricane
-in the sky there is so much room for who you are
-the sky is not trying to let go of the storm/rain, the sky is freedom
-you can stay as long as you want to stay!! you can come, stay, leave, come back
-you are letting sadness be
-you are not the sadness, you are the space letting sadness to stay
-whatever uncomfortable feelings/thoughts has a home
That's such a beautiful way of putting it. Thank you so much
This is gold bro! Thank you on behaf of all my feelings and thoughs))
Take care...
OK, I got it after my first comment. Any concept, in this case, letting go is another cloud in the vast sky of presence...if focus is on the sky, any cloud will dissolve...no need to make it into a concept to reach the sky. Thanks Jeff!
Sri Bagavath, Enlightened Living Master, Chennai, India says " Our natural State is such that our emotions, thoughts, feelings remain in us for split second only. All of them leave thereafter, but may recur to vanish again repeatedly. Jus
Beautiful!!!
Freedom for me is being free of others belief systems. This is why I have decided to stay away from people with belief systems and live by that instead of their life experiences, it is the only way I can be myself in my own nature.
Lady Grey Feather everyone has beliefsystems, so do you. I think you mean you want to be with me "likeminded" people
Wow so powerful
Thank you for your information.
Well said, thank you!!
Genius...thank you
Great one!!!
I get the message about the myth of letting go. We can accept thoughts rather than trying to get rid of them. Presence is the wide open and infinite space in which thoughts (and everything else) happens. However, the issue is about the monkey mind of constant thoughts which are intensely bombarding experience during all waking hours, such that there is no awareness of stillness or peace. Further, there's even no balance and no feeling of centeredness because of the intense and unrelenting stream of thoughts. In this environment we're looking for a bit of respite, and we're wanting to let go of the thoughts. We might have glimpses of awareness where we realize we've been deeply immersed in (mostly useless) intense streams of thinking, and there is a nice relief in that, but then those thoughts start up again without us knowing it.... etc. This is where the strategy of wanting to let go comes from, for most of us. Aloha!
thanks Jeff that was very helpful
I agree to an extent. I agree you should honor your sadness or whatever other feeling arises. Feel these deeply. Meditate with the focus on them when these arise. The problem comes when you don't know how to correctly honor them. Some feel anger and kill others. Some feel sadness and kill themselves. From my experience, there's a line between honoring and removing yourself from reacting because of these feelings that must be walked. From my experience, when you fully honor your feels at any given moment, they come and go like a passing storm. To me, the "letting go" of certain feelings IS extremely important to live a life of balance and to get back to your center. Yet, when you fully honor, by pointing your internal objective oberver to view and feel these feelings as deeply as you can, you effectively allow them to move through you (aka "letting go"), which is absolutely essential.
Wonderful
Well said sir 👍
Light warrior!! Jeff foster
so wise...
Thank you.
Thank you. 🙏🏼
Thank you 😊
love this
the human caboodle i call it. thank you for the reminder that the body hurts and has sensations and the mind goes off into tangents about it. there is nothing to let go of... you are right... ALLOWING IT ALL.... yay
You have helped me very much thank you
I practice Buddhist Mindfulness. Thoughts and emotions are always present, but you learn not to "cling" to them. They rise and fall, a process of allowing whatever is there, but not getting tangled up in the content. This is an important point Closing the door as you say, is suppressing. We come into conflict with our so called "bad" feelings, and we don't want them to be there. Our difficult emotions are invariably connected to the ego. Something that was done to us, something that was taken away from us, the ego wants things a certain way. Realising that change is inevitable, everything is impermanent, and allowing the flow of emotions and thoughts.
Like this message very Simple and powerful tanks
Thank you 🌹
there is a statement:"Whatever comes let it come, whatever stays let it stay, whatever goes let it go." that means we surrender to whatever is experienced and let go of aversion and resistance or attraction and desire to what is experienced and let go of the gain ego gets from the aversion and attraction.
Thank you
Hi Jeff. Thanks for sharing. When you say, let emotion or a thought stay if it wants to stay, how did they come in the first place. These waves as you say are me as well... So I am in a way playing with myself for no apparent reason. Clouds are a disguised sky but I can't seem to fully rest in this understanding. If you can have a suggestion other than just rest in this knowing until the conviction is firm
.. As I write this I realize that anything conserning time is another cloud...so it's like never ending loop of nothingness...
.. Thanks...
i love this
I love this...
Thank you Dear Jeff ! Amazing energy you spread on the planet ! Can you please talk about abortion ?
I like it!
Sounds great in theory.
deep!
नमस्ते
Thank you for your help
As I see it at this moment. ....
Do You, I, have these feelings
Or are You, I, letting these feelings having You, me....
so helpfull!
my definition of letting go is not trying to be free for but letting go is letting emotions go where they want if we try to be free of then wee only maintain emotions
Gracias.
From letting go to letting be.
This is it!
healing words
Gracias
Yes, exactly, and , if you think about it, what does 'letting go' literally mean? Go is the opposite to stop. Somehow we have translated 'letting go' to mean 'get rid of'.
En este camino hay tanta confusión en cuanto si debemos o no debemos..en si deberíamos o no deberíamos, pensar o sentir tal o cual cosa porque se supone que ya debería estar superado...y entonces empezamos una lucha contra nuestra propia humanidad...empezamos a luchar contra nosotros mismos y a evadir lo que estamos sintiendo porque no es de una persona que está en el camino espiritual...hoy, en este día estaba pensando en mi ruptura con mi esposo y ha sido de tanto dolor...y siento muchas cosas unas en conflicto entre si...y he querido no sentirlos y por eso no me dejan en paz...estoy pensando que si dejo esos sentimientos estar estoy retrocediendo en un terreno que creía tenía ganado. Sin embargo, también me he dicho que debo dejarlos que se manifiesten en mi, porque ya están ahí...y yo no los he atendido.
Jeff, love your teaching and thank you. I don't understand how it's possible to be pleased with horrible feelings... Feelings normally generate thoughts! And the thoughts that negative feelings generate are ones of disgust. No one wants to feel unpleasant or uncomfortable emotions. It seems that you are speaking from the other side of the pond (you are liberated from you self)... Maybe it's different for people who aren't yet liberated? :) Thanks for any feedback or correction on my current thoughts
Don't let go and don't hold on.....!
“Forgive us of our traspasses”
And WHY
“we should forgive those who trespass against us…”
The problem with judging yourself and your actions as bad means that:
- "what you were judging yourself over now becomes a sensitive topic.. In other words it becomes painful for you to look at.”
This is the exact mechanism we use that puts blinders on ourselves so it becomes difficult to “see our own actions”.
So then something can happen right in front of us and we won't even acknowledge that it happened.
It seems like everyone else around us - can see it, are able to look at it, and can take action to fix it. But that's only because they hold no emotional attachment to what they saw.
(It's the reason 5 people will witness the same event and have 5 completely different stories…
- and is the EXACT reason why "we can sometimes see other peoples issues and problems, but we can't see our own…”)
THE KEY is:
*** it's only when you have NO emotional attachment that you can see the “truth” or see something for “what it truly is”... ***
So if " truth " is important to you...
And you have a genuine want to be the best person you can be ...
there is a very simple way to step onto your path and know that you are on the correct one...
It is to:
- Re -read "a gift to the world I love"..
- understand that when youve done something you are “not so proud of” you have to take a leap of FAITH:
- and understand that what you did "you needed to do"
even if at the moment you don't understand why you did it.
Buy doing this you will be able to look at your actions and see them more clearly and in better focus…
And because you can see and understand them better - you can now change them if you want…..
Which means “You can now choose who you want to be in this life” instead of “having this life choose who you will be”!
The phrase: "faith is the path to salvation" is true
- but it is NOT a religious reference
- it IS a personal reference.....
The path to salvation is to have "FAITH in YOURSELF"!
FAITH that you are a good person..
FAITH that you don't mean to harm anyone..
FAITH that you will make mistakes..
FAITH that you were meant to make mistakes..
FAITH that you were meant to learn from them..
FAITH that you are meant to “stand beside them”..
FAITH that you are supposed to be proud of them....
Because AS HUMANS making mistakes is how we learn..…
Have you ever heard anyone tell you:
“they learned something new from a success”......
The answer is ”no” - because it was already a success.
*** We should all get up every morning and be excited about the failures we are going to “suffer that day”?!?!?! ***
And as strange as that sounds - it's absolutely correct...
this is TRUE FAITH - and it's not based on any religion..
When you acknowledge that "proud or not" it is was something you needed to do.
- Then it is neither “good nor bad”
- it simply becomes something you needed to do.
And if ...
at that point it is not something you want “to need to do again”...now you can properly see it and make a change…
It should also be said that this is not an excuse for doing something "you know is wrong".
When I said we must “stand beside our mistakes” that means “be responsible for them”
- and KNOW that actions should be forgiven ‘if it truly Is a mistake”
And also means "being accountable to them":
- and at least try to fix it what we broke
- and/or apologize to those we may have hurt
So the point to this whole thing is:
“Forgive us of our traspasses…
As we forgive those who trespass against us…”
Its a simple statement…
But means so much more when you actually think about it...and apply it.
In simple terms : " you must forgive - to be forgiven "
To lighthouses everywhere:
“Turn up your bright”
-frankie
HotStudnSF Beautiful said!
just understand this