@@Psych2go Right now, I just felt… nothing As much as I try to stay positive, things took turn for the worse I get that it’s life, it doesn’t mean it should’ve pushed me down or away but who knows
This doesn't just apply to romantic relationships. Dr. Freyd's "betrayal trauma theory" states that it's very traumatic if the person who abuses you and your trust is someone you rely on for safety, survival and resources. This includes family, friends and institutions like schools, workplaces, governments, religious groups...
In my case, I had a girlfriend who said she loves me constantly, one day she basically stopped wanting it, she knew she was ruining it and she still ended it. We are still talking daily as if we never broke up. She's so depressed of life and fed up of everything, she said that I will be happier without her, that I will get someone better than her, she didn't feel good enough. So after 1 day of not expressing my love to her and just being her friend and trying to look after her mental health. At night she said "Do you love me?". I said yes and she said she does too. "But I can't be with with you" because "this will just happen again". Where she feels like she wants love but pushes it away.
Maybe she have trust issues and people she trust especially parents broke that.If you are willing to be with her,try you know.Make her see what she is worth in your eyes.Good luck.
I think that she wants the unconditional love, that u love her because herself, not because what she did for u. I can see that she is lacking self-worth and think that she can't be able to make u happy or enough for u. Just remain her that u love love her unconditionally, and be patient with her, make her believe that she is enough. Best wishes for your relationship!
Hits close to home, I was about to break and go back tonight, but I opened up CZcams to get my mind off of it and saw this. Thank you cause it helped me stay on track and put myself first
This is EXACTLY what happened with a person i have now gladly cut out of my life. Every single thing said in this video brings back memories from this person.
Man, sometimes I forget just how helpful this channel can be sometimes. I have an ex that I've been reflecting on as of late, and this video made me realize that I did infact have a betrayal bond with them. All of the points in this video I related to except for maybe the irrational loyalty, and that's kinda just because I didn't have anyone to turn to at the time except for someone who was also dating them and also had a toxic relationship with them. (the 3 of us were in a polyamorous relationship together) We would constantly have this cycle of them being really kind and caring with me, they would slowly become passive aggressive with me and I would notice something was off, but I would try my best to keep quiet so we could keep the peace, things would start to bubble up until we would either have an argument or I'd have no choice but to confront them about it and they'd get upset at me for it. Then they'd refuse to talk to me the next day or even maybe multiple days after we argued, making me freak out in fear due to my abandonment issues. When I'd finally get them to talk they'd guilt trip me and insult me with things that I still hold onto to this day. I'd force myself to not defend myself at all and instead take all the blame and be the one to apologize for everything just so they wouldn't leave. and after, the cycle would continue. They would always tell me that "of course I'm mean, and lash out a lot, and need a lot of time away from things, I have anger issues." But anger issues doesn't make emotionally abusing me okay.
Thank you for sharing this. Please get out of this terrible cycle. I know it's super hard, but you can do it. Even if being alone isn't easy either, it's far better then staying with them. Think about it. All the difficulty in cutting them off forever and blocking and leaving them without warning is nothing compared to all of the pain you've already been trough. You can do this, I believe in you. And I am super proid of you for realising your situation.💖💖
@@jujuoof174 This is really sweet of you but I'm already out of this relationship and I've cut ties with them. Although I'm still dealing with the emotional baggage of it I'm doing much better now. I've just kinda been realizing just how toxic this relationship was now.
1: past/present abuse 2. Codependency 3: manipulation 4: irrational loyalty 5: repeated cycles Hey there, I know u prob won’t read this but, u r more special than you think. Take a break, drink some water, shower, take a walk. Self love is the most important love, I promise. Have an amazing day…if nobody loves you, I do. You are amazing and special and things will get better.
I read it! Thank you for the encouraging message and for the time stamps. I hope people read it and find encouragement from your words as I also have :)
I did not know anybody could more accurately describe my relationship with my parents. Just a damn shame that nobody in my entire life has actually cared about me.
Any type of trauma bonding can be mistaken for love, it is what narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths use to get people to believe they love them or are in love with them. It is also difficult to get out of for human beings.
I had this on a long distance relationship. It was hard for me for almost a year being with him. It felt one sided, I invested time on someone who kept saying they'll love me back but that never came much to fruition. I'm no longer with them but it really took me a long time to forget about what they've done. Till this day, I sometimes get flashbacks to that time of my life and it brings me down a little.
Long distance relationships are hard. I was in one for three years, with a large break in the middle. It only works if you have strong communication and a plan to be in the same zip code.
I feel there was codependency in the relationship which I just left, but it was different than what is described in this video. I was having bad problems with depression and conflict with my parents; he was afraid of being alone after being married for thirty years, then his wife leaving him for a man she had been cheating on him with. We were depending on each other for support and understanding, but he was at the point of wanting me to cut myself off from other people and only focus on the two of us.
Girl …..you dodged a billet by the sound of it , anyone trying to isolate you is trying to abuse you …..honestly most men don’t have positive intents when it comes to a woman ….so BEWARE
That’s really sad. I hope he can find comfort and healing in his alone time until he can open up for another relationship. A mistake men do is jumping into relationships without taking time alone to heal and it ends up causing a lot of emotional baggage for the next woman to deal with. It’s not fair to you.
Unfortunately I have a friend who's mom screams symptoms of this, her moms boyfriend on several occasions has threatened not only her safety but the safety of her children, if you ask me there are literally no other explanations as to why she wouldn't throw his ass to the streets or just straight up call the cops on him.
I went through this with someone I used to love, overly depend on, realized and stopped chasing after them, worked on myself became better. I started avoiding them. Randomly, they came back to me apologizing for everything they've done. I was skeptical at first until I realized they were being genuine. They weren't happy with who they are and that they hurted many people in the past. They started improving themselves making amends with those they hurted. We got closer than ever, and our relationship was a two-way street. I didn't feel stupid anymore and we'd advise each other in situations. They're one of the only people I truly feel safe with. Tbh It feels like a dream come true but I can't help but worry if this was a mistake. What if I get hurt again?
whether u get hurt again, u wont know till u find out. But its good that u toke care of yourself and gave the that person a chance after they realized that they also needed to change for the better, the best advice i can give u is: communicate those fears but at the same time be willing despite ur fear, to trust and love, therefore risk getting hurt("I didn't feel stupid anymore and we'd advise each other in situations. They're one of the only people I truly feel safe with" that u described ur feelings also with those words shows u the relationship really feels different from before and not just the same, again its understandable that u are afraid of getting hurt again). If u get hurt to much again try to talk but if its something u cant forgive also communicate that but then decide what's best for u. hope this was a lil helpful for u, have a good time
@@zoto4064 yeah your right, thank you for telling me this. I'm trying my best to forget the past and move on. Sometimes it's hard but I'll get there! He's honestly so sweet and I'm really lucky to have him
Timestamps 1). Past/present abuse 0:41 2). Codependency 1:25 3). Manipulation 1:59 4). Power imbalance 2:36 5). Irrational loyalty 3:03 6). Repeated cycles 3:23 Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
Most people I have come across don't even know or are too scared to admit to even themselves that they are bring abused. Such people can't be helped. It's sad to watch their condition.
That's what Dr. Freyd calls "betrayal blindness". If you'd acknowledge the abuse, it'd also mean your relationship should probably end. And to avoid that, you minimise what's happening.
These videos keep making me more aware that I’ve been messed up bad. At least I took some power back by hardly ever talking to my parents. And I’m glad I broke up with my first gf the way I did just wished it didn’t took 6months but I was a teen 😅
It's very important to stay far away from these people. They just keep doing it over and over. They can't help it and don't care to fix it even if they say they do. ☠️
Same here. Betrayal trauma impacts you most when people close to you abuse your trust. But it can also happen in institutions like school. I couldn't trust my teachers either.
Unfortunately, I had a friend who had me experience what betrayal bonding was like, even though I told them I was aroace, they didn't listen to me and kept pushing me to be in a relationship, not only that they made it look like they were the ones betrayed in front of my friends when I rejected them, if anyone is going through something similar or has had problems, you're no alone, there will be people who will bring you down every once in a while, and even though it may can be hard to let go sometimes, it will really help you feel safe and happy with yourself
wow i only clicked to see what it was and got called out severely 😅 i have this relationship with my mom but she's thankfully realized she did these things to me and has been slowly making up for it ❤️
So, I'm aroace, so I don't think I've romantically loved before, but can these points also relate in friendships? I've got a manipulative friend and their behaviour resonates with most of these points
Co-dependency is misdefined in this video. Being Co-dependent is when one person, say, is addicted to drugs and the person who cares deeply for him/her facilitates the addict's drug usage thereby worsening the addiction and creating other problems as well. Then we say that both are "co-dependent" on the illicit drug. Co-dependency is not being extremely intimate emotionally with only one person. Being close to one person or having a small circle of intimates reflects natural differences in temperament. Some people are more passionate than others and some people simply are more comfortable with few intimate bonds that are more intense. Now, it is possible to feel love or attachment to another person that is out of balance. That has more to do with the ordering of one's loves. Augustine discussed a properly ordered love life--first love for God, then love for one's family then close friends and on down the line with others whom you are not so close with but still have some rapport with.
I will tell you a sad story from my life. I am 24 years old female and I have both deaf grandparents, deaf parents and a much younger brother who is also deaf. I was born with a slight hearing impairment and can speak normally. People are usually surprised that many people in my family are deaf and their reactions are sometimes very painful for me. When I was in the middle school, I had a wonderful male friend who was very close to me, we always went to school together and took the same bus back because we lived close. We always sat together at the same bench and did our homework together. I liked him very much, but we weren't a couple, but just very close friends. When we graduated from middle school, our contact broke off and our relationship weakened a lot which saddened me a lot. After about 7 years I met him and I was very happy to see him. We talked together and reminisced about the good old days. He said that I was a very good friend to him in the middle school and wanted to renew our friendship, which made me so happy. Then the conversation turned to my brother and he asked me if my brother was deaf or hearing (we graduated when my brother was only 1 y.o. and my family weren't sure if he was hearing or deaf yet). I told him that he was deaf. He immediately made a disgusted face and stopped talking to me. After that, he refused to reply to my messages and ghosted me completely. I literally cried for weeks. I was extremely heartbroken and realized that I would always be single, because my whole family is unusual, and I have a hearing impairment myself anyway. It was around couple of years ago and I'm struggling to move on. Since then, I've had serious problems making friends with other men, because I'm afraid that if a man finds out that I'm hearing impaired and my whole family can't hear, he'll think it's disgusting and leave me. Just like I lost my great old classmate/best friend. Nowadays any attempt to date anyone is very stressful for me. I'm trying to stay positive but I think that I lost hope that I'll ever be happy in a relationship or even in dating someone.
Had this with a girl I went on a few dates with :/ we bonded over similar family backgrounds, had dinner with her for a 3rd time and only found out the reason she kept me around is she wanted my validation and by that time only then I found out she was seeing someone at the same time and I got gaslighted when she kept saying she was too busy to see me before then. The pain was really too much and only then multiple friends told me to cut her off and I could see nothing wrong with all the manipulation she did. Better 6 months of pain rather than 2 to 10 years of a wasted and ruined life. Jeez that was purely horrifying.
This happened to me with my aunt and it happened to my aunt with someone she loved so she ended up doing it to me and its been heartbeaking watching how she changed and did so much to harm me
When we confused “we’ve been through so much together” with “he/she’s put me through so much” - it’s a hard lesson learned. I even tried marrying mine, but she tried pinning a baby on me that she made with someone else to me to finally realize how much of a user she was.
This has been my life for almost 19 years now... and I feel so trapped in the repeating cycle. I should have left when I was young and able bodied but now I'm disabled with chronic health problems and no where to go
Listen! Just today I had to delete this guy who is trying this nonsense on me 😅. I recognized something was off with him and just knew that it felt like he was being manipulative. But this! 👏 this is it!
OK, I left a serious comment weeks ago, so now I can be more light-hearted. It's so cute and funny to see Psi in a handcuff (0:18) since escape would be very easy without wrists! 😄🥰
unfortunately every single one of these i was able to tick off.. im constantly surpised with new horrible things that hes done but at this point ive become so numb to it. He ends up claiming he has "bad memory" and just cant remember why he did those things but i know its just his way of getting out of it. I love him but i think maybe i am just stuck in the cycle. I have no friends left cause he ruined my relationships with all of them in different ways so without him id see my mom and thats it for the rest of the year, so staying in a way feels safer and more comfortable.
wasnt love but an unstoppable friendship, a brotherly bond until turned out they were an asshole all along, turned my back against friends who kept exposing him (he gaslit me into believing they lied), talked shit behind my back and now that schools back they act like nothing happened between us and he keeps insulting my pals who exposed his ass
My ex as an avoidant I believe emotionally abused and manipulate and gaslighted me I was to kind to her then she dropped me when things got more serious basically got thrown under the bus it’s sad I’m dealing with some serious pain emotionally from the abuse and betrayal
@Narcabusecoach said that one word that would decribe the narcissistic relationships the most is betrayal and all in this video is perfect example of what narcissist do to the victims. Its just ongoin betrayal and abuse
I just realised i did this, a lot. And now i feel bad. I have only 1 friend ive known lile 7 years now. I vented to her daily about how im having a bad day, how pathetic i really am, and all of that stuff just to get an "i cared for you" kind of text because that is what i was craving all these years. I yearn for love and attention so badly id do anything. i feel terrible, i literally manipulate her into staying with me even though she doesnt want to. I hate that i can be such a horrible person without even knowing it. I hate this god awful feeling so fucking much
Dr. Freyd's concept is called "betrayal trauma". It describes how abuse is even more traumatic if the abuser is a person/ institution close to you and someone you rely on.
@@pointysidedown While 'betrayal trauma' describes the trauma itself, 'trauma bond' is the relationship between the abuser and their victim. It's a mix of abuse and positive experiences in between, so many people get stuck in it.
I have a crush and I feel like I want a boyfriend, but I also feel like im not ready for a relationship. Lately I've been having dreams that I was with my crush, and I actually felt so happy, but then again I dont think im ready for a relationship.. plus i am VERY introverted and shy, to the point I almost cry when I have to present infront of people, even if its a small group. Idk if its fear or being nervous or what, but because of that the most I can do is just take quick glances at my crush. Is it normal to want a boyfriend but not feel ready for one?
Hi!, is there a possible way you can make a video about a 1 month friendship in roblox that has been broken up?, i would like to know ways on how to get over mine
Have a wander round a graveyard and remind yourself one day soon you will no longer be here, public opinion, rejection, reputation are as nothing compared to character, instead of looking for the one, focus on becoming the one then they will approach you
@@nabilsadik zanshin , or the art of doing by not doing, stop looking/needing anyone else focus on your own happiness and development outside of ANY form of external validation. When your vibration reaches a certain frequency, woman ( not necessarily the one your thinking of ) will start approaching you I guarantee it! Just remember attachment is unhealthy and happiness truly is something you create for yourself it's not found on any other people. So not make a home for yourself in the hearts of others.
HEY, GOOD MORNING MY FRIENDS AND SO CALLED FAMILY, I JUST WANTED TO KNOW IF THIS APPLIES TO FAMILY,AS WELL, I'M TRYING TO GET OVER MY MOTHER TELLING ME THAT SHE WISH SHE. NEVER HAD ME, IT'S HARD AS HELL TO BE AROUND HER. PLEASE KEEP ME IN YOUR PRAYERS. WELL I HAVE TO GO BACK TO LAY DOWN SO I CAN GET UP AND GO OUT TO KEEP AWAY FROM THE CERAP IN THE HOUSE INTELL LATER ON MY FRIENDS AND SO CALLED FAMILY. TEE 🙏💯🙏💙💪👻
I opened the comment section to see the summary, but then I realised the vid was posted 1 min ago😂
XD
You joined us so early! 😂 Now that everyone's posted the summary, what do you think about today's topic on betrayal bonding?
😂😂😂
@@Psych2go It's great!
@@Psych2go I always loved your videos, that's why I clicked in as soon as you posted the video! 😁
Time skips
0:42 Past/Present Abuse
1:25 Codependency
1:58 Manipulation
2:36 Power Imbalance
3:02 Irrational Loyalty
3:23 Repeated Cycles
I’m afraid of going into the repeated cycle
Thank you for the time stamps. Are you currently finding yourself in a repeated cycle?
Thank you for the timestamps ⏲ Yes. The repeated cycle is the worst. Get out of the vicious cycle and don't return to the initial step.
I'm afraid of that, too... 😬
Thanks!
@@Psych2go
Right now, I just felt… nothing
As much as I try to stay positive, things took turn for the worse
I get that it’s life, it doesn’t mean it should’ve pushed me down or away but who knows
This doesn't just apply to romantic relationships. Dr. Freyd's "betrayal trauma theory" states that it's very traumatic if the person who abuses you and your trust is someone you rely on for safety, survival and resources. This includes family, friends and institutions like schools, workplaces, governments, religious groups...
this is my relationship with my dad, and technically my parents too
Yes, family and social structures do this to you too, not just partners and friends.
In my case, I had a girlfriend who said she loves me constantly, one day she basically stopped wanting it, she knew she was ruining it and she still ended it. We are still talking daily as if we never broke up. She's so depressed of life and fed up of everything, she said that I will be happier without her, that I will get someone better than her, she didn't feel good enough. So after 1 day of not expressing my love to her and just being her friend and trying to look after her mental health. At night she said "Do you love me?". I said yes and she said she does too. "But I can't be with with you" because "this will just happen again". Where she feels like she wants love but pushes it away.
What is her relationship like with her parents?
Maybe she have trust issues and people she trust especially parents broke that.If you are willing to be with her,try you know.Make her see what she is worth in your eyes.Good luck.
I think that she wants the unconditional love, that u love her because herself, not because what she did for u. I can see that she is lacking self-worth and think that she can't be able to make u happy or enough for u. Just remain her that u love love her unconditionally, and be patient with her, make her believe that she is enough.
Best wishes for your relationship!
She def has a side dude lol
I think I’m also like that if a had anyone a friend or smth in my life even family I won’t ever believe that someone can love me for who I am
Hits close to home, I was about to break and go back tonight, but I opened up CZcams to get my mind off of it and saw this. Thank you cause it helped me stay on track and put myself first
The universe is awesome 🖖🏽
Yes, you did the right choice! Gl!!
This is EXACTLY what happened with a person i have now gladly cut out of my life.
Every single thing said in this video brings back memories from this person.
Great job! I am super happy and proud of you for getting out! ^^
Man, sometimes I forget just how helpful this channel can be sometimes. I have an ex that I've been reflecting on as of late, and this video made me realize that I did infact have a betrayal bond with them. All of the points in this video I related to except for maybe the irrational loyalty, and that's kinda just because I didn't have anyone to turn to at the time except for someone who was also dating them and also had a toxic relationship with them. (the 3 of us were in a polyamorous relationship together) We would constantly have this cycle of them being really kind and caring with me, they would slowly become passive aggressive with me and I would notice something was off, but I would try my best to keep quiet so we could keep the peace, things would start to bubble up until we would either have an argument or I'd have no choice but to confront them about it and they'd get upset at me for it. Then they'd refuse to talk to me the next day or even maybe multiple days after we argued, making me freak out in fear due to my abandonment issues. When I'd finally get them to talk they'd guilt trip me and insult me with things that I still hold onto to this day. I'd force myself to not defend myself at all and instead take all the blame and be the one to apologize for everything just so they wouldn't leave. and after, the cycle would continue. They would always tell me that "of course I'm mean, and lash out a lot, and need a lot of time away from things, I have anger issues." But anger issues doesn't make emotionally abusing me okay.
Just wanted to say that it's really brave of you sharing this. I genuinely hope you're in a better place today.
Thank you for sharing this. Please get out of this terrible cycle. I know it's super hard, but you can do it. Even if being alone isn't easy either, it's far better then staying with them. Think about it. All the difficulty in cutting them off forever and blocking and leaving them without warning is nothing compared to all of the pain you've already been trough. You can do this, I believe in you. And I am super proid of you for realising your situation.💖💖
@@jujuoof174 This is really sweet of you but I'm already out of this relationship and I've cut ties with them. Although I'm still dealing with the emotional baggage of it I'm doing much better now. I've just kinda been realizing just how toxic this relationship was now.
1: past/present abuse
2. Codependency
3: manipulation
4: irrational loyalty
5: repeated cycles
Hey there, I know u prob won’t read this but, u r more special than you think.
Take a break, drink some water, shower, take a walk.
Self love is the most important love, I promise.
Have an amazing day…if nobody loves you, I do. You are amazing and special and things will get better.
I read it! Thank you for the encouraging message and for the time stamps. I hope people read it and find encouragement from your words as I also have :)
I read this
Thank you. Same to you :)
Read it and all I can say is that I will steal this comment and post it everywhere I can.
Have a great day m8
Really sad that this video didn’t came out early before I knew my best friend was manipulatin me.
I did not know anybody could more accurately describe my relationship with my parents. Just a damn shame that nobody in my entire life has actually cared about me.
First time I’ve heard of this and I can already sense this is what leads to trust issues
Any type of trauma bonding can be mistaken for love, it is what narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths use to get people to believe they love them or are in love with them. It is also difficult to get out of for human beings.
You explained it very well👌
I had this on a long distance relationship. It was hard for me for almost a year being with him. It felt one sided, I invested time on someone who kept saying they'll love me back but that never came much to fruition. I'm no longer with them but it really took me a long time to forget about what they've done. Till this day, I sometimes get flashbacks to that time of my life and it brings me down a little.
Going through that now! It hurts like heck.
Long distance relationships are hard. I was in one for three years, with a large break in the middle. It only works if you have strong communication and a plan to be in the same zip code.
I feel there was codependency in the relationship which I just left, but it was different than what is described in this video. I was having bad problems with depression and conflict with my parents; he was afraid of being alone after being married for thirty years, then his wife leaving him for a man she had been cheating on him with. We were depending on each other for support and understanding, but he was at the point of wanting me to cut myself off from other people and only focus on the two of us.
He was absolutely going to abuse you, from the sounds of it.
Girl …..you dodged a billet by the sound of it , anyone trying to isolate you is trying to abuse you …..honestly most men don’t have positive intents when it comes to a woman ….so BEWARE
@@hyliastone286be specific on your claim, how so?
@@Caribbean.Galaxyisolating a partner is abuse.
That’s really sad. I hope he can find comfort and healing in his alone time until he can open up for another relationship. A mistake men do is jumping into relationships without taking time alone to heal and it ends up causing a lot of emotional baggage for the next woman to deal with. It’s not fair to you.
Unfortunately I have a friend who's mom screams symptoms of this, her moms boyfriend on several occasions has threatened not only her safety but the safety of her children, if you ask me there are literally no other explanations as to why she wouldn't throw his ass to the streets or just straight up call the cops on him.
I went through this with someone I used to love, overly depend on, realized and stopped chasing after them, worked on myself became better. I started avoiding them. Randomly, they came back to me apologizing for everything they've done. I was skeptical at first until I realized they were being genuine. They weren't happy with who they are and that they hurted many people in the past. They started improving themselves making amends with those they hurted. We got closer than ever, and our relationship was a two-way street. I didn't feel stupid anymore and we'd advise each other in situations. They're one of the only people I truly feel safe with. Tbh It feels like a dream come true but I can't help but worry if this was a mistake. What if I get hurt again?
whether u get hurt again, u wont know till u find out. But its good that u toke care of yourself and gave the that person a chance after they realized that they also needed to change for the better, the best advice i can give u is: communicate those fears but at the same time be willing despite ur fear, to trust and love, therefore risk getting hurt("I didn't feel stupid anymore and we'd advise each other in situations. They're one of the only people I truly feel safe with" that u described ur feelings also with those words shows u the relationship really feels different from before and not just the same, again its understandable that u are afraid of getting hurt again). If u get hurt to much again try to talk but if its something u cant forgive also communicate that but then decide what's best for u.
hope this was a lil helpful for u, have a good time
@@zoto4064 yeah your right, thank you for telling me this. I'm trying my best to forget the past and move on. Sometimes it's hard but I'll get there! He's honestly so sweet and I'm really lucky to have him
Timestamps
1). Past/present abuse 0:41
2). Codependency 1:25
3). Manipulation 1:59
4). Power imbalance 2:36
5). Irrational loyalty 3:03
6). Repeated cycles 3:23
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
Cheers
@@unknown11215 not a problem happy to help
Okay
@@chrisbsgr.383 ???????
Thanks!
Most people I have come across don't even know or are too scared to admit to even themselves that they are bring abused. Such people can't be helped. It's sad to watch their condition.
That's what Dr. Freyd calls "betrayal blindness". If you'd acknowledge the abuse, it'd also mean your relationship should probably end. And to avoid that, you minimise what's happening.
These videos keep making me more aware that I’ve been messed up bad. At least I took some power back by hardly ever talking to my parents. And I’m glad I broke up with my first gf the way I did just wished it didn’t took 6months but I was a teen 😅
This was how my ex kept hold of me - co-dependency and love-bombing, with some gaslighting.
The time but stamped
1: past/present abuse 0:41
2: codependency 1:26
3: manipulation 1:58
4: power imbalance 2:37
5: irrational loyalty 3:04
6: repeated cycles 3:24
Thank you so much for the time stamps!
Thx, good explanation also why it is hard to get out such a relationship.❤
I have never heard of this, but it is so relatable in my life. I believe most of my relationships are like this.😢
Hey Psych2go, I was thinking you could make a video about night depression and It's coping strategies? Anyways Thank You Psych2go ❤
You can ask Jesus to help you defeat you're Night depression.
@@TheTopNotchOne ask god Jesus is a messenger
@@Mochi-re8cv But Jesus is God.
It's very important to stay far away from these people. They just keep doing it over and over. They can't help it and don't care to fix it even if they say they do. ☠️
hello how are you doing today?
Didn't know how much I needed this right meow 🖖
I tried explaining this to my my wife. But I “aparairantly” need to see a better therapist 😳😒😔
Gurll keep going!!! You saved my life and you really inspired me! Please I'm a big fan post more videos!! I lope youu
THIS HITS CLOSE TO HOME, I'M SO GLAD I WAS ABLE TO SEE THIS FOR MYSELF AND LEAVE.
And also don't hesitate to leave from them 🚶♀💨💨
Betrayal bonding also sounds a lot like the cycle of DV.
It is the same cycle as dv. It used to be called trauma bond but I guess betrayal bond is the new phrase
The fact that some of these signs describe nearly all of my friendships is… worrying…
I did not realize there was such a thing(betrayal bonding) That explains alot
hello how are you doing today?
@@johnbright5735 good mostly😊
@@maryannewelch804 ok nice,so where are you chatting from?
Wow, that 1st one is me and my parents !
Same here. Betrayal trauma impacts you most when people close to you abuse your trust. But it can also happen in institutions like school. I couldn't trust my teachers either.
Unfortunately, I had a friend who had me experience what betrayal bonding was like, even though I told them I was aroace, they didn't listen to me and kept pushing me to be in a relationship, not only that they made it look like they were the ones betrayed in front of my friends when I rejected them, if anyone is going through something similar or has had problems, you're no alone, there will be people who will bring you down every once in a while, and even though it may can be hard to let go sometimes, it will really help you feel safe and happy with yourself
wow i only clicked to see what it was and got called out severely 😅 i have this relationship with my mom but she's thankfully realized she did these things to me and has been slowly making up for it ❤️
So, I'm aroace, so I don't think I've romantically loved before, but can these points also relate in friendships? I've got a manipulative friend and their behaviour resonates with most of these points
Not AroAce, but I am questioning the same thing right now. I assume it would be the case in some way. I don't know, I'm just worried..
@@renstrism yeah, I suppose it could and you can tell me about anything worrying you : )
Thank you so much for helping us identify those kinds of things! Ya'll saved so many people!
Co-dependency is misdefined in this video. Being Co-dependent is when one person, say, is addicted to drugs and the person who cares deeply for him/her facilitates the addict's drug usage thereby worsening the addiction and creating other problems as well. Then we say that both are "co-dependent" on the illicit drug. Co-dependency is not being extremely intimate emotionally with only one person. Being close to one person or having a small circle of intimates reflects natural differences in temperament. Some people are more passionate than others and some people simply are more comfortable with few intimate bonds that are more intense.
Now, it is possible to feel love or attachment to another person that is out of balance. That has more to do with the ordering of one's loves. Augustine discussed a properly ordered love life--first love for God, then love for one's family then close friends and on down the line with others whom you are not so close with but still have some rapport with.
I will tell you a sad story from my life. I am 24 years old female and I have both deaf grandparents, deaf parents and a much younger brother who is also deaf. I was born with a slight hearing impairment and can speak normally. People are usually surprised that many people in my family are deaf and their reactions are sometimes very painful for me. When I was in the middle school, I had a wonderful male friend who was very close to me, we always went to school together and took the same bus back because we lived close. We always sat together at the same bench and did our homework together. I liked him very much, but we weren't a couple, but just very close friends. When we graduated from middle school, our contact broke off and our relationship weakened a lot which saddened me a lot. After about 7 years I met him and I was very happy to see him. We talked together and reminisced about the good old days. He said that I was a very good friend to him in the middle school and wanted to renew our friendship, which made me so happy. Then the conversation turned to my brother and he asked me if my brother was deaf or hearing (we graduated when my brother was only 1 y.o. and my family weren't sure if he was hearing or deaf yet). I told him that he was deaf. He immediately made a disgusted face and stopped talking to me. After that, he refused to reply to my messages and ghosted me completely. I literally cried for weeks. I was extremely heartbroken and realized that I would always be single, because my whole family is unusual, and I have a hearing impairment myself anyway. It was around couple of years ago and I'm struggling to move on. Since then, I've had serious problems making friends with other men, because I'm afraid that if a man finds out that I'm hearing impaired and my whole family can't hear, he'll think it's disgusting and leave me. Just like I lost my great old classmate/best friend. Nowadays any attempt to date anyone is very stressful for me. I'm trying to stay positive but I think that I lost hope that I'll ever be happy in a relationship or even in dating someone.
Had this with a girl I went on a few dates with :/ we bonded over similar family backgrounds, had dinner with her for a 3rd time and only found out the reason she kept me around is she wanted my validation and by that time only then I found out she was seeing someone at the same time and I got gaslighted when she kept saying she was too busy to see me before then. The pain was really too much and only then multiple friends told me to cut her off and I could see nothing wrong with all the manipulation she did. Better 6 months of pain rather than 2 to 10 years of a wasted and ruined life. Jeez that was purely horrifying.
This happened to me with my aunt and it happened to my aunt with someone she loved so she ended up doing it to me and its been heartbeaking watching how she changed and did so much to harm me
Nice video thank you But in the end all of them suffered and were ashamed that it is something really painful
Sounds like my mother she did all this to me she always lies to me now i have trust issues
Same here. Neither my parents nor my teachers at school were people I could trust.
I positively Love these, and have been inspired.
When we confused “we’ve been through so much together” with “he/she’s put me through so much” - it’s a hard lesson learned. I even tried marrying mine, but she tried pinning a baby on me that she made with someone else to me to finally realize how much of a user she was.
Thanks for showing me how unstable my relationships might get in the future no but FR great video
Painfully relatable. Worth talking about.
you just described my parents relationship
I wondered how i never seen this video before, than realized it was out for only 1 hour
This has been my life for almost 19 years now... and I feel so trapped in the repeating cycle. I should have left when I was young and able bodied but now I'm disabled with chronic health problems and no where to go
Listen! Just today I had to delete this guy who is trying this nonsense on me 😅. I recognized something was off with him and just knew that it felt like he was being manipulative. But this! 👏 this is it!
Anyone else with autism suddenly realise that this was the reason behind literally all your past relationships
Is there one for trauma bonding vs love as well??
Or is this pretty much the same thing????
7. Your videos has helped me alot. Thank you.🙏🏻
OK, I left a serious comment weeks ago, so now I can be more light-hearted. It's so cute and funny to see Psi in a handcuff (0:18) since escape would be very easy without wrists! 😄🥰
OMG NEW VID
I do think this is happend a bit to someone i know
Looks like someone did a good research
ouch, guessing this is what happened with my ex
My thoughts I wanna share are: Great content and great music! 👏
hello how are you doing today?
Holy crap I'm literally doing this right now. I need to get the hell out of this relationship.
thanks for the guide
That's good to know, thanx! ^w^
Son of a biscuit eating bulldog, my biological father forced a betrayal bond with me as a child after my parents divorced
Oof, that sounds scary familiar. 👀
Why can people be horrible
unfortunately every single one of these i was able to tick off.. im constantly surpised with new horrible things that hes done but at this point ive become so numb to it. He ends up claiming he has "bad memory" and just cant remember why he did those things but i know its just his way of getting out of it. I love him but i think maybe i am just stuck in the cycle. I have no friends left cause he ruined my relationships with all of them in different ways so without him id see my mom and thats it for the rest of the year, so staying in a way feels safer and more comfortable.
wasnt love but an unstoppable friendship, a brotherly bond until turned out they were an asshole all along, turned my back against friends who kept exposing him (he gaslit me into believing they lied), talked shit behind my back and now that schools back they act like nothing happened between us and he keeps insulting my pals who exposed his ass
It has Ben 2 years sense I saw this channel
Please make a video about Misanthropy.
We don’t need timestamps. people have no good use for their time nowadays 😂. The video was really informational anyway
My ex as an avoidant I believe emotionally abused and manipulate and gaslighted me I was to kind to her then she dropped me when things got more serious basically got thrown under the bus it’s sad I’m dealing with some serious pain emotionally from the abuse and betrayal
can you publish a video concerning how to increase self-esteem and push away the need for validations?
This perfectly describes my ex when i was in a relationship with her. My mom is a legend for heloing me break up with her.
@Narcabusecoach said that one word that would decribe the narcissistic relationships the most is betrayal and all in this video is perfect example of what narcissist do to the victims. Its just ongoin betrayal and abuse
I'll doubtful those fake friends or maybe relationship I remember that.
So that is what I am doing.
I just realised i did this, a lot. And now i feel bad. I have only 1 friend ive known lile 7 years now. I vented to her daily about how im having a bad day, how pathetic i really am, and all of that stuff just to get an "i cared for you" kind of text because that is what i was craving all these years. I yearn for love and attention so badly id do anything. i feel terrible, i literally manipulate her into staying with me even though she doesnt want to. I hate that i can be such a horrible person without even knowing it. I hate this god awful feeling so fucking much
I won't fight back when I can't leave him get
Is betrayal bond the new term for trauma bond?
Dr. Freyd's concept is called "betrayal trauma". It describes how abuse is even more traumatic if the abuser is a person/ institution close to you and someone you rely on.
@@aynilaa like a trauma bond?
@@pointysidedown While 'betrayal trauma' describes the trauma itself, 'trauma bond' is the relationship between the abuser and their victim. It's a mix of abuse and positive experiences in between, so many people get stuck in it.
It's a coincidence that I may be (accidentally) forming a betrayal bond with my crush
Can power balance also be passive aggressive? Thanks for sharing.
betrayal bonding means that your new boyfriend doesn't like you he went for his ex or new girlfriend
Hi, I'm new. Um, I have a question: What do you do when your mom is doing all that, but you're way too young to leave?
Can you please make a video about signs of mental illness? I think something's up with me.. :(
I have this with my dad
This is why I have trust issues with everyone 🙃
you can be my teacher when im on my school holiday
Why do we experience everything else but love
Because love has never been unconditional.
@@buggus0034Jesus Christ loves all of us unconditional.
@@TheTopNotchOne Jesus is better than us.
@@buggus0034 Amen
I have a crush and I feel like I want a boyfriend, but I also feel like im not ready for a relationship. Lately I've been having dreams that I was with my crush, and I actually felt so happy, but then again I dont think im ready for a relationship.. plus i am VERY introverted and shy, to the point I almost cry when I have to present infront of people, even if its a small group. Idk if its fear or being nervous or what, but because of that the most I can do is just take quick glances at my crush. Is it normal to want a boyfriend but not feel ready for one?
Hi!, is there a possible way you can make a video about a 1 month friendship in roblox that has been broken up?, i would like to know ways on how to get over mine
My best friend isin a relationship with a guy i like. I really cant get over him. Can you make a video about it or something related topic? Please?
Hey my sister just came out as gay and I don’t know how to talk about it with her
There’s not really anything to talk about, it’s just a fact lmao
Please make a video on 'How to overcome the fear of approaching crush'
Have a wander round a graveyard and remind yourself one day soon you will no longer be here, public opinion, rejection, reputation are as nothing compared to character, instead of looking for the one, focus on becoming the one then they will approach you
@@mrnice7570 I tried that way. But no one approaches. Better tell me how to do that
@@nabilsadik zanshin , or the art of doing by not doing, stop looking/needing anyone else focus on your own happiness and development outside of ANY form of external validation. When your vibration reaches a certain frequency, woman ( not necessarily the one your thinking of ) will start approaching you I guarantee it! Just remember attachment is unhealthy and happiness truly is something you create for yourself it's not found on any other people. So not make a home for yourself in the hearts of others.
HEY, GOOD MORNING MY FRIENDS AND SO CALLED FAMILY, I JUST WANTED TO KNOW IF THIS APPLIES TO FAMILY,AS WELL, I'M TRYING TO GET OVER MY MOTHER TELLING ME THAT SHE WISH SHE. NEVER HAD ME, IT'S HARD AS HELL TO BE AROUND HER. PLEASE KEEP ME IN YOUR PRAYERS. WELL I HAVE TO GO BACK TO LAY DOWN SO I CAN GET UP AND GO OUT TO KEEP AWAY FROM THE CERAP IN THE HOUSE INTELL LATER ON MY FRIENDS AND SO CALLED FAMILY. TEE 🙏💯🙏💙💪👻
hey bor you have to, love your self because your family doesn't.
Freyd was right
Wtf why you upload it at perfect moment
Can this happen in platonic friendships too? Because I feel some of these with friends
This works in reverse with covert narcissist