Wondering if You are Still Transgender After Collecting All the Information!
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- čas přidán 4. 01. 2023
- So here you are, after collecting all the possible information on transgender identity and still wondering if you are trans?
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🙋♀️Hello! My name is Natalia Zhikhareva known as Dr Z in transgender community and I am a clinical psychologist or gender therapist, specializing in transgender field and I work with adults only. I provide online therapy for California, New York, Texas and Florida residents. My pronouns are she/her and you can visit my website for more info at drzphd.com/aboutdrz
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😀DISCLAIMER: Note as a clinical psychologist I created this channel to share information. Therefore I won't be providing or offering therapeutic advice. I am also not a medical doctor. When I speak on medical issues such as hormones or surgical procedures, the goal is to share information, and not to provide medical advice and you should always consult with your medical doctor. Additionally, this channel is for those seeking information, understanding, and to gain awareness.
I fell into this trap. I knew for sure the direction of the change I wanted. The issue was trying to determine the final destination and needing to apply a label to myself before I even make the first steps.
I thought, "how can I 100% be sure I want to be a woman? I knew I wasn't cis, I knew I was uncomfortable with being seen as non-binary. I imagine living as a woman and feeling a sense of comfort and happiness at that thought, but how do I know I'd feel happier if I haven't experienced it for real?" I'd found myself in an inescapable mental trap: I can't transition unless I'm trans, I can't be sure about my transness unless I get the lived experience from transition.
To break out of this was understanding that transition isn't a single step, and I started making tiny little changes: painting my nails, adopting more feminine body language, buying single articles of female clothing I could wear stealthy and evaluating how I felt. "This feels so correct, I feel more empowered and confident in myself to continue in the direction of change".
Trying cross sex hormones was another super important step for me, I knew I wasn't going to grow breasts overnight. After a couple of weeks, I could start to look at myself in the mirror for the first time in my life and see me. I still have not really "come out", a few close friends / family know I'm "questioning", honestly I don't want to feel like there are social expectations on me, so I purposely don't say what I'm now 99% confident about (I'm a binary trans woman).
Just make small changes and follow gender euphoria, don't worry about the final destination.
hope your transition is going well!
This is very helpful, thank you ❤ your thought in quotes is word for word my experience right
A perspective from Wales in the UK: I can understand someone waiting because there's a lot of fear involved at the start (I would say especially for a transition to female, which is what I did), but it's worth doing. I can only talk about my experience, but it made me happier and more confident, and gave me a new group of friends who I treasure (without getting rid of the old friends!). I'm waiting for lower surgery now, and I know exactly what I want out of that; then my transition will be largely complete, and it's then just out of my mind, just like any health care matter would be. To wait is to continue to worry about it, and it just festers. Trans-affirming care takes such a long time to get, too; so best to get the ball rolling as soon as you can!
Yes the damn wait is horrific in so many places and I am sorry you are in such circumstances.
Dr. Z thank you for all your Informative videos. I will share my experience maybe someone can find it helpfull. I started my transition at the age of 39, until then I was trying to figure out if I was gay, trans or whatever... Finally I came to the conclusion that over thinking and overanallysing will not lead me anywhere. So, I let my heart speak and my inner sence of self and left thinking outside. I started embracing the fact that maybe I can be wrong and with a sense of 80℅ certainty. I was not wrong that walking this path I will understand it is for me or not. At the end of the day life is an action and we must embrace the uncertainty it contains... Though, it is rewarding now I am happier than ever.
Yes yes yes! Life is indeed an action full of uncertainties and thats the part of it. Thank you so much for sharing.
I have been going down this rabbit hole for over a year now, and it is helping me understand all the feelings I had as a teen. In the 80s there was no transgender support, I don't even think the term was used yet. I'm sure if I had available to me then the information I have now my life would be quite different.
Totally hear you and so wish many back than had access to the info they needed.
Oh wow, what a great and tailor- made-for-me video. I have known and accepted I am trans for 3 years, but just cannot embrace it. I definitely require proof that I am, beyong feelings, rationalising and mere faith. I feel unworthy as a 'woman', huge imposter syndrome, guilt that I am not that little boy my parents loved and nurtured, and the man my absolutely wonderful wife fell in love with. Consequently, I am lost down that rabbit hole seeking proof. I have never felt so hopeless, depressed, as though not being here sounds pragmatic. I cant live without scientific proof. Since newyear's eve, I am trying to revert to David.
Hey Daisy. I feel exactly the same, so much guilt around changing, and an imposter feeling for who I want to be. I'm sorry you're reverting back, if you want to chat to anyone I feel exactly the same.
@@charliedavies8345 thank you so much for your reply and kind words. I hope you are managing to cope and feel right in yourself?
I was and am really struggling, and I really appreciated your reply.
@@daisyb5646 That's tough. I was always looking for that one moment of epiphany, that if I did enough research I would get that final answer, a 49% or 51% outcome. But my therapist said to me once and it stuck with me: "What if that moment never arrives, what if that answer is never handed to you." And it's a strong likelihood, as it's a decision based on feelings, not facts. You can't know the future and predict where you'll be happiest, but if you're not happy in your current situation, that hurt might not change with time.
@@charliedavies8345 very well said and thank you for sharing. That concept 'proof' is a critical driver for me, especially as trans (trans women) are getting so much heat and hate actually, here in England. It is also due to my relationship with my wife, family, existential feelings if threat, onset of clinical depression (i started on antidepressants last week). I am rather sure that I will never be truly happy living as a man, but as a woman it starts up the unendurable inner conflict. This us terrible timing, as I have my first appointment with a Gender Identity Clinic this month, which I have already postponed twice, and now it will be three times.
The truth and fact are different things, the truth is found in your own heart. Ask yourself this, what makes you more excited, living as cis or as trans, does it make you excited what kind of life could open up for you living through transition? Follow excitement, because that is the thing that one could regret not following when lying on a death bed. The proof is in you, because even if there was the proof, what good does it do, life is all about being as authentic as we can be.
This really hit me. I been collecting so much info and haven't done much aside from continuing to growing my hair
Hope you will start making steps even if small.
I spent ten years chasing information and trying to dismantle internalized transphobia.
The very fast improvements I got from hrt and the fact that the dysphoria returned when I quit are the strongest evidence I have that I am really transgender.
Yes, stoping HRT often brings dysphoria back. I am sorry you experienced that. Many like to have this experience as it becomes an internal confirmation.
Thanks Dr Z for making this video, this is so me!
I'm an information nut on everything! So with this it's like worse! I've read and listen to so many books, videos, and doctors. I've been through two doctors and three therapist and the therapist I'm with now is called, "Reparative" therapy. Which is not an affirming type therapy but more about finding childhood traumas and experiences that may have pushed me into being trans. Starting to think I'm still trying to find a way out or something?
I've had GD since I was 4 and now 56 and I keep waiting. It's been four years since I started seriously searching for answers. I know deep inside I feel I need to fully transition or at lease start HRT again. Another reason, married...but now that's even starting to fall apart. Don't know what I'm going to do...depress but I needed to hear this.
Thanks for sharing and wish you all the best.
Thank you for your videos. I find them very helpful in knowledge and comforting in my thoughts. I know I'm transgender. What sets me back is if others know and accept that I'm transgender. For example, I recently legally changed my name, and I felt a little hesitant in using my changed name. However, I reminded myself there is a reason I changed my name, and it is what I use now with no worries or second thoughts. It also carries over to wardrobe choices I at first made choices on what I thought would make others comfortable around me. Again, I had to tell myself I dress for myself and what makes me happy. Now I wear what makes me happy for the day and I feel so much freer in my life.
This was very helpful, thank you :)
Glad it was helpful!
First I would like to say that I dislike labels. The problem I see with label is that; they can become a divider between peoples. They can set a "I fit in this camp" mentality which I feel is not a healthy way of thinking. Yes a label is important for you and counselor because it help guide you to the correct treatment. But outside of the office I think is best to check the label at the door.
Information is important to help us on this journey but it can also be harmful. I say the because I think people will subconsciously filters information into "I like" and "I don't like" categories. It can be hard to look at information with an open unbiased mind, and that in it's self can be overwhelming. Having someone like yourself to help reset our minds is very important, as it much easier for someone outside of yourself to help pick the relevant information.
I am really so glad I found your channel. You really help me put my thoughts in order. Thank you!!
I couldn't agree more about labels not to mention they create guidelines that are not applicable to all, leaving many confused.
I agree that labels help some, but on the other hand, it can stigmatize. I don't use the trans label as it doesn't fit me as it has attached too many injunctions. Many "true" trans women said that I'm not trans enough, to which I fully agree.
@@gwendolinegoetz9224 I agree.
I have collected so much information about myself for the past year. I am very sure I am trans and non binary. I am also very sure about wanting top surgery and going on testosterone, when I think about medical transition I always come back to that because I know it is what I need. My gender therapist supports me but my family and my partner doubt my descisions because I had depession before I came out and since then I feel much better. I am still collecting information because I am scared that I will need to proof myself over and over again to them.
I am so sorry to hear that you are in a constant state of anxiety to prove yourself to others.
Remember biology over ideology.
@@Angelum_Band wdym
@@Angelum_Band @Angelum_Band
Remember expertise over opinions from strangers!
Stop transphobia!
@@clarastuflesser8989 No one fears trans that is another myth. Again biology not ideology. In biology and human evolution trans only last one generation.
As a recently out transwoman, at 55 there is not so much life left to be spent going down rabbit holes! So this comes as a timely warning to live life. I have found that acting on the information, in ny case social transition and now getting a therapist and considering hormones, releases things - even a big frown crease on my forhead which has been there from my adolescence is starting to open up, showing a white line where the sun never penetrated! BTW I could tell pretty quickly you are a good information source, Dr Z, and I was glad to find my therapist agreed!!!
Life catches up with you and need to be true to yourself. Same happened to me at 50 years old. I needed to live.
Hi. Yes it is crucial to just start working with someone and have them anchor your truth vs so much online information. I am glad to hear you are working with a therapist that is helpful and glad my connect is helpful to you as well.
I agree 1000% . I'm in my 40s and feel like I've already wasted so much time being afraid to be me.
it takes more facial muscles to make a frown than a nice, pleasing smile, right?
Thank you for your videos Dr. Z ❤️ You are appreciated
I collected infos abt me being trans in the past 9 months and i went to 2 therapists and they both diagnosed me that am 100% trans and me my self i know and also sure that am 100% trans female so i wish all best of luck to those who r still discovering who they're truly are ❤❤
Focusing on what you aren't is an interesting though experiment, and often easier to identify then the infinities of what could be. Thanks :)
Real! I'm a huge thinker rather than feeler and I've been stuck in the loop for more than a decade
Thank you for sharing and I wish you all the best.
Dr. Z, keeping it so real! ...too real lol. Sincere thanks, seriously. ♾🙏
Hahahah I try to be honest even if its hard to hear things.
This really resonates with me. I'm a 53 yr old crossdresser who hasn't dressed all that much through feelings of guilt and self loathing. Dressing for me has always been a bit fetishistic, but I believe that's more to do with the fact that I've never until recently been able to dress regularly for and length of time. My wife gives me space to experiment, but isn't really keen on seeing me dressed. I get a sense of gender euphoria when dressed. I'm pretty ok with my male side also so no dysphoria. I guess Id have been happier to have been born female. I've always wanted someone to explain where I sit in the spectrum in terms of gender. Thanks for all you do. Your videos are really helping. I once had counselling but my therapist thought that my crossdressing was something to do with my relationship with my not very maternal mother. Not sure about that. Nurture Vs nature which is it???? I have so many questions.
I was using my 'doubt' as an excuse to not transition. It was just fear, really. Once I finally figured out that I wasn't getting anywhere and just keeping myself miserable I started HRT at 51. WOW so much more bandwidth to deal with life by not having that hanging over me! And I'm so much happier. I still have dysphoria, the mirror didn't change and it may not change much but at least I finally can deal with who's looking back at me because I'm taking action.
Just. Do. It. You will be glad you did.
Good for you! Better be happier even with challenges than miserable with challenges.
I have felt like this since I was a very young kid like 3 years old. I have been like this for 24 years because I'm 24 years old now still haven't started transition but I'm scared to even go now. I feel so confident in myself that I am trans but I'm scared I will never get to transition
Thanks for sharing and I wish you all the best.
I’ve always felt stuck in this ‘other’ category. And in a weird stroke of ‘luck’ I’m finding myself in a situation where it’s appearing I have a form of an intersex condition. My physical body is now fitting the mentality that I’ve known about myself since forever and it’s still hard to grasp it.
Ahh yes, the brain gets adapted to certain ways of seeing/being and takes a while to regroup.
I’ve always been trans but because of my religious family makes me constantly fill my head Who I’m not. All my friends have left me because of what others have said or they constantly put down my look I realize how absolutely insecure our society is. People don’t know who they r but throw shade on others and put them down I hate visibility Their is to much hate in our society
yeah - the "not" part is pretty much settled. as my gender therapist said: "not-neurotypical" and then having gone down to the bottom of that rabbit hole, I'm coming back up to "and now what?" I still have to decide how I want to show up, and how to encourage people to see me in that way as well. My body tells its own story about this, regardless of my desire - and *that* is the part that I can;t quite reconcile. How much do I believe my body? How much effort do I put into changing it?
I am almost sure that I am transgender. I was sure. Until my brother started questioning it. I did talk to him but it seems that he wants believe I am just confused. He does seems to genuinely care about me but he says that I need to see other specialist first before doing things. How much do I need to prove to show that I am really trans? Oh by the way I really loved your series about trans partners it would be nice if you could do about the parents or subling. I might get to know their perspective.
Hi. Thanks for sharing and honestly, often siblings or family members, when genuinely trying to understand, are really looking after you. However, I mean that for those who are truly worried vs blatantly refuse to acknowledge you may be trans. Oftentimes, the time spend in social transition is enough for siblings to see how comfortable and confident you are in your identity.
@@DRZPHD But the problem with social transition is that its the opposite of comfortable, so I feel its unfair to base the truth of my identity on an experience that just is factually not enjoyable. Its not enjoyable to act like a man when I dont look like one yet, its scary exhausting unsafe and makes me hypervigilant of when people might shame me for it. With friends its a different story, feels very normal and affirming. But how am I supposed to look comfortable way out of my comfort zone? Its way easier for me to stay on standby mode and act afab-socialized until I finally begin to pass as male. I mean, it sucks to hide. But to me, expressing who I am while no one can see it, is so much worse and gives me this feeling of being utterly caged in my body. The mind-body incongruency doesnt hit me so bad when I dissociate and play a woman character in my life. When Im a woman to the outside and kinda fakin a woman state of mind as well, then theres less rampant incongruency that I cant look away from. But when I present as male, Im so overwhelmed and dysphoric about the many ways I fall short.
Is there any way to not feel like this when socially transitioning? Anyone any advice?
@@jo.k.4210 Are you me? :) So familiar with this. Still pre-T (long process in my country), I tried to shift into a male role and it was so exhausting - to let free my inner self and be all the time misgendered by every stranger is far worse that to play a woman just for a little time more. At least I'm good in playing this role after 40 years. It's not good - dysphoria is really bad after whole day - but there is no good choice I'm afraid. I compensate in safety - wearing binder and packer at home and just imagine actively I already have the look that matches my inside. Have no advice. Just feel you.
@@eddi9577 Hey brother, damn Im sorry its been tough for you. What country are you at? I recommend showing your true self to a few trusted ones if you can, it takes a lot of weight from your shoulders
@@jo.k.4210 Czechia ;) I do what you say, it's relieving.. for a while. My point was that it's true that you can't find relief in social transition when not passing. The empty mirror effect. But that's ok, I'm used to waiting patiently :)
By the time I came out a year and a half ago, I was more than 100% sure I was trans. I had gone through this whole mental process, except at a rapidly accelerated pace over the course of several weeks instead of years. It was a wild ride to say the least. However the questions remained of exactly where I fall on the trans spectrum, so there was still more information to gather. I admit there's a certain appeal to the information gathering process, because I was finding out so much about myself after so long. I found out that I'm an agender subset of genderfluid, called genderflor, which is a relative neologism.
There's so much more to find out once you've figured out your own identity though. All the scientific research and studies done on trans people and trans related healthcare is fascinating, and it's useful information to have whenever some ignorant person confronts you about your identity. The more informed you are as a trans person, the better the trans community can push back against the tide of disinformation and prejudice.
Yes, there is def an appeal to information gathering as well as feeling more in control of your situation as well.
Ugh. This one's for me.
I think the trick of trying to prove that you're cis is a good one.
I don't care about the "trans" label at all, but rather the actual question, which I've been struggling with my whole life.
If I actually AM.... or just want to be (my brain can't really accept the idea EVERYONE doesn't feel the same way)
After trying to repress my whole life, I spent a full year researching non-stop. 7 months ago I decided I don't care which it is, and am going to try hrt either way, but supposedly I'm still waiting on insurance to pay for it...week after week, month after month.
I still struggle with this question though.
(And unfortunately seem to know vastly more than the doctor :-/ )
Not sure how much I can ever socially transition though, beyond my social group and doctors.
Thanks for sharing and I wish you all the best.
who or what i'm not was always at the fore front of my thoughts growing up which led me to the military, marriage and other things trying to prove to myself i was wrong that somehow i was normal. along the way i had glimpses of who i might be though i didn't know terminology; losses i'm pretty certain about, the topic has come up in conversation amongst family and other acquaintances with very strong opinions voiced. gains are uncertain. definitely feel a strong tugging on my heart strings and always trying to justify moving forward whenever i listen to channels like this but there's always this emptiness and wondering that, no matter what the medical capabilities or surgical skills which may be available today, in the end, would i just be doing the same thing all over just reversed instead of pretending to be male to fit in with societies expectations now pretending to be female trying to fit in with who and what i feel i am instead of what i was born as.
Thank you for sharing.
Is it possible that he transgender and be attracted to your online your on line/youtube physchiatrist. You are so helpful, informative and have got sub real insights that rock. 7:01 thank you forever for your content. I have done this search mode for years in various ways. I have landed here for purpose and integrity. God bless you for all you do for this topic.
I now have 15+ videos watched. I can’t wait for the next 110 videos. Thanks again. 7:01
Poppps miss typing 7:27
Pardon my dyslexia
After being on the hunt for the right Mental Health professionals too support me plus a wonderful care manager who is my fierce supporter . She is a LPN . She felt that because I spent so much effort in finding my own medical support team and Mental Health. She new because I wanted too prove to her and everyone else how serious I am about transitioning . I made the appointment with endocrinology myself . I’m not on estrogen yet weight and diabetes . Has to be under control. I felt disappointed
and very depressed. Don’t worry Dr. Did not take the possibility off the table . Just need to lose weight . Mean while she put me on a blocker which will have the same effect. After the discussion of estrogen . I was so shocked that I did not hear listen to the rest of the conversation . I almost dumped it till I could lose the weight but I’m lucky I brought support with me . I had made and gone through so much . I Drove my self crazy then to be at the threshold. Well I’m takeing a blocker with the plann to lose the weight. Work hard on being myself.
NOTE: When you are in your in your sixties. and you want to transition your over all health is very important. I have a little problem with my heart. It’s just getting old and a little stiff so maybe . Some surgery down the road like about 10 or 15 years I talk to my cardiologist he said it was no big deal for a male to female. It would be a bigger deal if it was a female to male. He quoted a study,
Yeah, in chronologist . Had another study about post menstrual Women my age .were given estrogen to help depression. Apparently. It caused . Heart problems with in women that were my age. If I were in my fifties it would be a different story . So my advice. If you are in a good place and good shape. Get your shit together . Before you can’t grow a full head of hair. Don’t worry about surgery. Their is no sequence. Except Hair growth . Hair removal in the right places. I’d say pre puberty is best case scenario. Next best scenario.
Would be teens.
Next would be 30 s . In my option the thirties is wear hair lose occurs. To help to slow things down. Beware of taking. Any to male hormone supplements . It also helps to eat a more vegitiarian based diet. Junk food and sugar or any processed foods. Eat minimally. As a women . You should minimalize. The way you walk the way you talk
The way your male side acted or acts. It’s a war all the time. But I’m Happy. The blocker works the same as estrogen. Dr. Said it will take time at least as aesthetic value goes. Everybody has different results. So calm down. Make your appointment. Start your changeing your life for the better. You have too remember use of shrooms alcohol, smoking black market Horemones . Can screw up your journey . Marijuana use.Keep healthy. Remember if you’re promiscuous disease could slow you down . Keep as healthy as possible.
Mattie . On the day which will be Tuesday . I will be makeing it real. 01/10/23.
Thanks for sharing and I wish you all the best.
My issue is not this. I know I'm transgender.
My issue continues to be what am I going to do about it, what am I prepared to do about it, what can I afford to do about it.
Much love!💌
Aghh totally here you.
I’m not trying to assume that you are cis, but if you are….wow! I’ve never ever seen a cisgender person be so aware of the internal thoughts and feelings of the transgender experience! Your work is so important and will help so many people.
Hi, yes I am cis and I feel the only reason I am so attuned is because I only work with trans folks, I listen, AND I read comments on my channel, so I am very immersed. Here is a thing, if I, a cis woman without any gender dysphoria can have such a deep level of understanding, imagine what society could have if they just opened up to listening.
In the past I knew for sure, but I had a partner slam the door on my face when I told them, so I mentally, emotionally and physically threw everything away and crawled into a box where I had been until my psychiatrist 4 years ago say" now I know what is causing my depression. You are a male trapped in a female body." Sense then I have looked at every thing that I can find to answer " am I really transgender ?".
Hope you can get clarity you seek.
I stopped gathering information a while ago, i decided to get an appointment for HRT and now its a race against time i either get a clear answer by socially transitioning and talking to otherw transgender persons
Or i take the medication and just brute force the answer
Wishing you all the best.
How do you separate, knowing you are transgender and so desire to be female but religion, faith and guilt come into play. That’s such a mental struggle that I deal with . Help !
Hi. Thank you for posting great question. I will answer in Q&A.
Yes, I am definitely doing that mental masturbation and information hording, as you described. I also feel that the information I have been taking in has given me too many options for how to apply it, especially with labels; too many external ideas with which I do not fully resonate.
I think have been transitioning socially and physically towards a slightly more specific gender by accident without planning and by not understanding the technique to perform the steps I take before I take them.
I think in certain ways this does advance my transition. In hindsight, I feel that doing this in my gender transition simply moves my spotlight of possible gender-affirming information across the space I can act on. Although this doesn't quite narrow what I can see at any given moment in time, my tendency to gravitate towards collecting information can be practical when I use this spotlight analogy for what I focus on in my transition.
To sum it all up briefly: When I combine the process of knowing what I am NOT with the process of moving my spotlight of focus around, it becomes clear to act on knowing what I am NOT within the scope of the spotlight before I move it to another area.
It is interesting how without knowing, your inner self navigates you to exactly who you are.
Thank you for the video. I have a question? Why do people have gender dysphoria? I have heard alot of theories that it's the "wiring" of the brain to the native American belief in the 2; spirit belief to the trauma inflicted on someone that causes them to identify being of the opposite gender than what they were born with? No one seems to have an answer on why? Other people suffer trauma in Thier lives and don't have gender dysphoria. The 2 spirit belief Is critical in some tribes because they were looked upon as "holey" and had important roles. The theory of the wiring of the brain seems plausible if something happens in the mothers body to cause a rush of hormones opposite of the sex of the fetus. Many questions with many more questions with no answers. Transition is a big step for someone and has it's risks and rewards. Happiness is important and if you are unhappy most of your life and want to live the life you always wanted, there really is no way?
There is a point when collecting information goes beyond intellectual curiosity. Obsessive hunting and finding the same facts over and over again to bolster your feelings about your dysphoria will become tedious and you should come to a time to decide based on your own feelings.
Now we are all conceived female till a time when our physical sex is brought about chemically.
This brings up, then what is gender dysphoria? Is it a compulsion like kleptomania, emotional like depression. It certainly is nothing like schizophrenia or sociopathic like a serial killer. So what is it? For me it has always been not fitting into the norms of gender interests and behavior. Yes I did all the manly things, got married had children but was never satisfied. I wanted more because I had felt that women had more variety in their life than I did. I guess it was a form of jealousy.
Now for 12 years I have been on spirolactone and finasteride for their prescribed conditions of water retention and prostate growth. However they have side effects which have brought about physical changes, lack of body hair except my beard, my breasts have grown and my body shape is changing. I welcome all of these as they confirm my nagging feeling of not wanting to be male. I have not begun hrt yet, but feel like I have, my emotions have changed. I am about 90% sure I want bottom surgery.
I realize my experience is not common. My intent is not to sway or force my opinion on anyone. You must make the decision that is best for you on all levels. This is as personal as life gets, getting the world to accept you as you want to be.
As far back as I can remember I never felt like I fitted in. Always a bit of a rebel. Now I have become a self psychiatrist, I have analysis obsession. This will hold you back as you will become an information chaser. Dont do it how many sources and opinions do you need to make a choice? When you become literally bored with finding the same old facts then make the decision that makes you happy and satisfied. You will know because you have imagined it many times already.
Thanks for sharing.
Society in general does not embrace trans stuff its better now in some places than it was in the past but it seems to me overall the hate is just as real just slightly more covert these days as we've gained some traction and legal status but ultimately much of society actually hates us and that sense of hate in the air fuels our indecisiveness as it's often life threatening to be perceived as guy in a dress.
Thank you for sharing. While I agree society has much negative I honestly dont beige that "much of society hates us". Yes, there are def folks who do, and then there are many who dont even care. The sad thing is the media makes it sounds like a lot of people are anti trans when in reality that is not true.
I don't care any more. Transitioning isn't for me. I believe it would just be a trade of one set of problems for another. I identify with women and I prefer to present as a woman. I have more feminine traits than masculine. If it's a matter of which side of the scale the balance tips, then I'm undoubtedly a woman, one who will never afford all the surgeries necessary to be passable. I'm happy to live as a woman most of the time, but in our transphobic world, my male disguise comes in handy too often for me to throw it out.
Thank you for sharing.
❤
😊 ❤ the more u dooubt ur self the more it meansd u are not comfortable with ur gender .
I'm 75% of who I am. How do I make the leap that's what I'm wondering
~Trans Friend
I suppose it depends on what that last 25% is. If its surgery then its understandable to come to a halt. But Ive found that experiment can be helpful. So you could decide that you will take the next 25% step for an experimental period. Run with it. See how it feels. I did this with social transition and I found that as I stepped out what was an experiment became something that was affirming.
Hi. Leap to what? Leap to start HRT or surgery or leap to coming out? There are different leaps one takes. In general, if one is uncertain (keep in mind that 100% sure not something everyone feels), I suggest social transition to feel more affirmed and confident.
I know I would like to be transgender in some way, or I like transgender people, I like to identify as female online and I do just what you say, keep looking for information
Thanks for sharing.
Still not sure?
Let me convince you....
I'd give hundreds of thumbs down.
Constructive criticism is always welcome and I would appreciate if you shared more of your thoughts.
Its been a JOURNEY for me. I wasn't sure at first and just started doing things and trying for things. It felt really really good. It started out with being uncomfortable with my body hair and a strong desire to shave my body hair. Then I painted my nails and wore girl clothes in public and I didn't think I had any dysphoria at all. But things got worse over time and I got some form of I guess mild social dysphoria. And then my body hair made me feel physically sick and actually made be puke because it made me look like a man. After months of struggling I was finally able to admit to myself I had dysphoria and settled on being a trans girl. I wasn't sure if I was binary trans or not but eventually I settled into the identity of being a binary trans girl and making the decision to transition significantly alleviated my dysphoria. Now that I have really settled into this identity I've grown VERY comfortable with being a woman. Although now my dysphoria is back and it's worse in some aspects. I have bottom dysphoria, voice dysphoria now, and my social dysphoria has really spiked a few times and I even had to take a mental health day because the thought of being misgendered mortified me that day. I have good days and bad days and everything in between. I'm going to start hormones soon. Dysphoria has been kicking my butt lately but I've been able to push through it and function these past few days. Its been more tolerable. I can't wait to fully come out and I'm thinking of the logistics of surgeries after I spend at least a year if not two years on hormones. I know who I am and what I want now. I may have a few days of doubt now and again but those are few and far between. I still know deep down I'm a woman. I'm excited for the future and what it holds. It might get worse before it gets better but I'm confident it will get better. Your videos have helped me so much in the beginning of my journey and even recently as I just came to terms with bottom dysphoria. I hope your videos continue to help others like me to figure out who they want to be on their own journeys.