Grieving the Loss of a Narcissistic Parent
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- čas přidán 17. 03. 2024
- My father passed away suddenly last Thursday. It was unexpected and this year I had officially been "no contact" with him for 10 years. Today's video is a Thank You to all of my followers who have reached out with love and support, and also to give my thoughts at this very difficult time. I hope it can help other people who lose a parent they were "no contact" with. Please be kind, this is a very emotional video. #narcissist #narcissisticabuse #narcissisticfather #narcissisticfamily #grief #grievingthelossofanarcissisticparent #jillwise #npd #mentalhealth
Jill Wise, otherwise known as The Enlightened Target, is a life long survivor of narcissistic abuse. She was raised by a malignant narcissist and married to a malignant narcissist, she has endured years of parental alienation, has repeatedly been targeted by narcissists throughout her life. She has an intimate understanding of all aspects of narcissistic abuse and Cptsd. She uses her experience and what she has learned to help educate others and bring awareness to narcissistic abuse. She is also a Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coach and works with clients all over the world heal from the trauma of narcissistic abuse, parental alienation and Complex Ptsd.
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You made the right decision.
I understand your grief.
My mother was a histrionic/narcissist with whom I had very little contact through out my life. She sent me to boarding school, on another continent, at age 10, alone. And I stayed to live here in Switzerland where I was sent. I am almost 59 now.
I never expected to grieve so much when I found out she had died. It was in 1998. She died young because of her alcoholism.
People around me didn't understand my pain.
I finally realized I was grieving the mother I never had and not her loss.
Time will diminish the hurt and end up completely erasing the pain.
I also hope your father is free now 💜
Tucker Carlson had a similar experience. His mother, left them to move to France, and they never saw or even heard from her again. She, too, died early. He was fortunate to have a very loving dad.
Exactly we grieve about fact that we never had mom/dad while they are alive.
Death is just like a fact that never had and never will have period.
Jill...you are so genuine and real. I was crying with you. Please grieve and let the memories come...good and bad. It's the way to closure. Give it all to God as well. HE knows what you're going through and have gone through throughout your life. I will continue to say prayers for you and your precious son. I love you Jill.
Amen
I am sorry Jill! It is so hard. God Bless
I’m in a similar situation with my covert narc dad. I was completely devastated when I got the news of his passing. In retrospect it wasn’t so much the news of his death that crushed me, it was the death of all hope that I will ever find closure. I found peace eventually by reminding myself that his ego defenses had so hardened over his difficult lifetime that hope for resolving our differences was always an illusion beyond my control. I still have to remind myself that despite my love for him, he was in general a selfish, manipulative, cruel human being. …and a definite no on attending the funeral because the flying monkeys only know me as the family scapegoat. You’ve got this Jill. We’re honored to be your extended family to support you through this. ❤️
Brooo 😢😢😢 you are a strong person cannot imagine how difficult these events must be for you, I hope all victims of narc abuse find resolution and peace 🙏
Jill, I'm so sorry. Remember to also grieve the loss of the father you wish he could have been.❤
Condolences, thoughts and prayers to you and your son, Jill. You've supported us; now we support you. 🫂❤️
Oh, Jill. “I always wondered what this would feel like … and it’s nothing like what I thought it would be like…” I hurt for you when you said this.
“And I hope he’s surrounded by grace, and love, and forgiveness.” You have a tender heart.
My heart goes out to both you and your son, Jill. The love you have in your heart will carry you through your healing. Sending you a warm hug 💛
I went no contact with my NPD mother 3 years ago, and you're right. It was the most soul crushing thing as you say, and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Thank you for telling people not to judge it. Some do, as I'm sure you have dealt with first hand, and that makes it all the more traumatic.
Sending condolences to you and your son. ❤
You are right on point, "soul crushing" is an accurate description of how it feels to go no contact with your parents. I don't know if my parents are still alive or not. It hurts.... I am sorry this happened to either of us!!! Or anyone at all!!!
Much love and respect going out to you during this time of mourning.. 💜🙏
Dearest Jill, bless you and your son. I lost my Dad last year. Never any reconciliation, real communication… he treated me with disrespect for 55 years, and we barely spoke in the last few years of his life. The agony of never being able to resolve the relationship remains to this day, though it is less. Prayers and love from England xxx
My 93 yr old dad is the reason I started watching you!! I hope it helps you that we are here with you. ❤
It does, so much🙏🙏🙏
Just know you are in the hearts and prayers of many of us out here who love and appreciate all the help you have offered to each of us. So sorry for all the hurt you are going through. May God comfort and bring you peace. 🙏💙
i love you Jill thanks for being so raw and honest. my dad died in a motorcycle accident a few years ago. he abandoned us when i was a baby and i haven't seen him in 20+ years. it was hard on me because i always had a weird fantasy in my head that he would get old and apologize. but now i know that isn't real. my brother contacted his widow who lives across the country (he didn't have a will so we still got money!) and she told us he said he wasn't allowed to see my brother and i because our maternal grandparents forbid him. ABSOLUTELY NOT TRUE!!! HE CHEATED ON MY MOM WITH DOZENS OF WOMEN AND HAD A JOURNAL DETAILING IT ALL! my brother tried to tell her that was NOT TRUE but she was not hearing it! he cheated while we were babies and got another woman pregnant and abandoned her too. then he abandoned us again when he just stopped showing up to pick us up for weekend visits. no warning. just didn't come one Friday and never saw him again. he even stopped paying child support for so long that he owed my mom over 20k.
i had to mourn the loss of my fantasy of him seeing the errors of his ways and accept the fact he never cared
Sorry for your loss! I’ll be praying for you and all concerned! ❤
Jill I feel for you✝❤God loves you so much
The fact that you are grieving shows me the genuine harsh reality of choosing to leave your father. The complexity of loving him while not wanting to be abused is rife with an emotional tumultuous landscape. The truth is, you did the right thing in doing so and, though he did not come around, you love and forgive him. That is the strength of compassion and love. Who better than you to offer the gift of loving favor to your father and seek his eternal blessing with God.
My condolences to you Jill. This must be a really difficult time for you. May God be with you and your family at this time and if you need to take some time off, do so.
Agreed, a break maybe longer than a week, how about a small spa day? Go somewhere for a massage and mud bath the works 💔...
It's two years this fall my elder brother was kept from me on his death bed purposely. Through my ex sister in-law and my incestual mother.
At the same time tried closure with my incestual father at the nursing home he was temporarily at and he was trying to get me kicked out by purposely hurting himself in front of me.
I really cannot believe this many people have this going on with birth families.
If I had not found this group and few others I do not think I would be here right now still breathing.
I feel so bad for Jill and many others here.
I'm not fully past my abusive brothers death.
Short while ago (shared it here). Got a call from the parents. Scared to go there.
Will there be extended younger cronies setting up someone to drag us off and dump the car in the lake? Or money$ to try and patch something that money cannot patch, a crushed heart and soul by 7 years old.
It's not a efin bandaid and the strings are a tangled evil mess. I am liable to jump off a bridge if I go there and it's money.
I have no clue nor does it feel safe even if no lake is involved.
I am in pain (before) they die for my whole life. They spent so much time shredding my son and I to protect their incest and violence upon us.
I already said several times. Give it all to my son. Surely he deserved way better than what was controlled around us watch his mother get beat and the rest.
No way can I go to the funeral of my incestual father. He helped plant malignancies in my son when he was a small toddler and beyond. I tried so hard to stop all of it.
This is something we never get over we have to learn to live with it. Because the intensity of the pain can always reappear.
We wanted our fathers love and protection. Not be treated like trash and worse than 😢
I’m truly sorry for your loss. I know that’s it’s gonna take quite a bit of time to get through this moment of grief and mourning the loss of who your dad could’ve been, and sadly, you’re not alone in this. So many children who have lost narcissistic parents have gone through exactly the same predicament as what you’re going through currently, if not similar. Just know that there was nothing you or anyone else could’ve done to help him change because he was the one who had to face himself. Nobody else! I send you, your son and the rest of your family all my heartfelt condolences and healing energy your way. ❤
I'm so sorry for your loss, Ms. Jill. I just lost my narcissistic abusive husband of 12 years in February and I didn't even realize I was in a narcissistic abusive marriage until I started watching your videos. Thank you for inviting us into your life and bringing us much clarity and healing! Please believe me when I say, God is close to the brokenhearted and knows the secret petition of your heart. I pray God's grace for my husband everyday. It's a very complicated emotion to process knowing that the same person who you expected to protect and love you, is also the same person you have to separate from because of the abuse. I just want you to know that it's not your fault, and you cannot help what others choose to become or do. You are loved and appreciated and God loves you ❤
So true
Sadly No realization or light bulb moment for a narcissist.
I am so sorry for the pain you are going through. You are the kindest most genuine person and I hope you find the peace you truly deserve. ❤️
So sorry 😞 Jill for your loss, you helped lots of people to heal from narcissist parent . 💔
That’s heartbreaking, Jill. I’m so sorry for your loss. Your prayers for your Dads soul are beautiful. Thanks for sharing this. God Bless.
I am so sorry for your loss Jill. Grief comes in so many forms. My mother ruined my life. 4 years after her death, there is no forgiveness for her actions. One by one controlling the narrative. Turning family, friends & acquaintances against me with wild, outlandish lies. No one ever wanted to know me because mom supplied them with everything they needed to know. I am trying to forgive myself. Reminding that "little girl lost" that it was never my fault!! I was in the crosshairs of a sick and grossly disturbed individual. No one deserves this. Hugs ❤
You absolutely made the right decision by choosing not to attend the funeral. I was in a similar circumstance when my father died, as my presence would be an "endorsement" for something that I could not support in any way. When it comes to your child, when someone interferes on that level, they have crossed a line and there is no going back. I didn't realize the extent that my father played along, and most likely even helped to orchestrate the alienation that I am now experiencing from my daughter. Other family members will not understand, but it is what it is. The most important thing is that you were able to forgive your father. That is huge!
Jill, please accept my condolences for the loss of your father, especially given the fractured relationship that ensued over the years. This may be a difficult time right now, but you will grow and heal from it. Take as much time off as you need so can grieve. ❤
I am so sorry for your pain. I went through this earlier this year. I failed my mom because I allowed her to be exposed to an evil narcissist which caused her to be forced into a nursing home that led to the end of her life. Reconciling and and living with the pain has been difficult. The feelings and emotions are hard to explain. I understand your pain it's not your fault but you wish it could be different. Godspeed.
You and your son are loved and supported. Please do what you need to do for you and your son. There is NO right or wrong answer. Trust in your process and know you will find what you need to do. Death…loss…no words can ever touch or convey the impact it has on you…holding you in love and compassion…❤
I am from IRAQ and I would like you to know that you changed me from being the same as my toxic extended family and survived my marriage and my kids. You made me realize how a great country like IRAQ gets invaded, shattered, and destroyed just for the sake of satisfying a bunch of narcissists.
Thank you from me and my family from the bottom of our hearts and wish you and your loved ones all the best ❤🇮🇶.
Take good care of yourself and make sure you cry as much as you need to. You are so gracious when you talk about how you hope your father's free from his demons now. You have an incredibly big heart. Been there too. I had a narcissistic father who was abusive and even though I did not go to his funeral, it did not mean I did not mourn either. Whatever you feel is okay. You're allowed to feel your feelings. Sending you love and healing energy your way.❤
Dear Jill- the floodgates open and the grief pours forth.
The loss of the opportunity to repair the relationship and the ensuing loss of your dad's life
is indeed huge.
Nobody can take away the fact he was your dad none of his partners had that exclusive position you had
Your resilience will only increase xx
Oh no. I’m so sorry girl. I’m crying with you. This is so not the way it should be. We never got a chance to have something normal. 😢
agree 100%
Oh Jill, I'm so very sorry. I clicked on this, hoping it would give me some guidance as I too am grieving my narc father. I understand the pain and all the conflicting emotions and intensity. Let all the emotions wash over you;feel them; and again and again. Remmber and savour the good memories, grieve the father he was and the one you wished he could've been. Sending you love and praying for healing and peace for us both. Hugs,M
My deepest condolences to you and your son Jill. You did all you could to repair what was a dysfunctional family dynamic. Please know that you are not alone and that you are a brave woman who chose to break a cycle that was toxic and VERY damaging both mentally and emotionally. By helping others in a similar situation, you have been a beacon for those who want to choose a healthy, happy fulfilling life. Tears are necessary and a way to grieve and letting go of something that never was but could have been. Sadly, the narcissist is incapable of appreciating, honoring and loving so the hope that things will mend or heal are unrealistic. Bless you for shedding light on these problems and offering others encouragement and the strength to walk away from these painful, destructive relationships regardless of the familial ties which can and do destroy many people.
Praying for you to find comfort you’ve been so helpful to me. I’ve lost my parents too and it has not been the experience I hoped for either. Narcissistic family members turned it into a circus displaying the unsuspected disfunction many friends and neighbors didn’t expect to see
I'm so sorry for your loss Jill.. In being discarded by my wife, I came to understand that I dealt with toxic parents. Please know you're not alone, my heart is with you. You helped me put mine back together. I wish i could give you a hug.
Jill my condolences 🙏🏻 I was no contact with my brother who suddenly died at 48 from a heroin overdose. I got to say goodbye when he was in a coma. I know he went to God with no more pain and forgiveness. Remember the good part of your father this helped me immensely in healing. You will be with him again with no hurt and only Joy. Chris Stapleton’s song Broken Halos really helped me understand this type of grief journey - “ we’re not meant to know the answers “ ❤ Blessings to you and your family ✝️🙏🏻
Sorry for your loss. Please be kind to yourself, and allow the time it takes to heal. Sending hugs ❤
I had a lightbulb moment 30-ish years ago after my parents left after a terrible visit, during which my mom shamed me in a really sickening manner and as always my dad backed her up and ganged up on me...nonetheless, I was near hysterical when they left and it made NO sense. I was always extremely sad when they'd leave after visiting, even tho every visit included the same emotional/verbal/mental abuse/scapegoating I've long known. Then i realized, it wasn't their presence i was missing so much as disappointment they were the same and i still felt unsupported and unloved. it wasn't that they left, it was that they left without any hint of positive emotion or affection or love and/or after doing and saying nasty things that that reminded me why i left in the first place. It's easy to forget abuse when there's distance or no contact and that's when you (even unconsciously) create a sort of fantasy of how it could be, or that you are loved, only to have it destroyed and upon death, it's a final end to any illusions that your own parents ever had your best interests at heart. I'm sorry for your loss, I'm sorry he wound up with a demon who profited from her willingness to be a wedge rather than a bridge. It's awful. I know exactly how you feel, my dad is still living as far as i know, but my mom passed 2 years ago and my narc brother has been manipulating and wheedling through it all. Probably for the same reasons as the step-monster in your story. I am sending you love and healing and hugs!
Thanks for your honest and open videos. Like you, I had no contact with my father when he passed. When ever I did something that he didn’t like, he’d stop talking to me for a month or more. As an adult I had had enough, and when it happened again I let that no-contact that he started continue. I chose to grieve him as dead at that point, and when ever I had a thought of hope around him I had to put it aside and put my hope in my real father-that is God. When he passed it was that final shut door that closed all hope that he would ever apologize. I grieved again. I did go to his funeral to support my sister. When I came home I told my husband that I had never been treated so badly by anyone, referring to how his 3rd wife treated me like a piece of poop that she was trying to wipe off her shoe. My husband very wisely said, that’s how your father treated you.
It’s sad to see how he died still holding onto the pain and lies that he told himself. May God have mercy on him. This disjunction goes back many generations, but it stops with me. I refuse to pass it on to my kids, which means a lot of counseling and unlearning. I am learning some new things about myself and my family from your videos, so thank you.
I know the grief your going through it’s hard to loose someone you never had, your grieving the lost of the hope of having a relationship with your father. It is the most difficult type of grief to endure. It will take time in the end you will find peace.
It's hard to lose someone you never had! Such true words. Thankyou this sums up so many emotions for me.
Losing hope I believe is worse than losing a person. Without hope there is very little.
I am so sorry that you’re in such deep pain. You’re not alone. Everyone in this narc support community is thinking of you at this difficult time and is hoping for you to find peace and healing. 💔
💔🙏 May you and your son be filled with so much peace amidst this very painful loss - and May you also find comfort in knowing your heart is being prayed for with tender care in this community.
I am so sorry ❤
sorry for yout grief dear one. loving you. it's a dna type love, and a babyhood pure love, from before the abuse and your awareness of it. it's all ok. ALL ok. xoxo. k
Jill ur a beautiful woman who wears ur heart on your sleeve.
Feel however you need.
Take as long as you need.
Think and voice yourself however you need.
Sending you warm thoughts of strength and care.
I broke no contact last year on the advice/suggestion of my shaman. He tells me that he did so for me, it was initially good but I am in my mid 60's, have spent a life on the other side of the country from my toxic family, and listening to my mother continue to spew her hate at whatever flavor of the day was a deal breaker. It can't be said that I didn't reach out, that I didn't try, my parents are going to die emotional midgets, I now realize that I was not put here to fix them, nor to continue to allow anyone to treat me they way they once felt entitled to do.
Oooh... I love you so much. You have helped me so much. I cried all the way through this. I have had no contact with my elderly mother for over a decade and I know I will feel this way when she passes. The pain of never having a real sorry. Deep down our inner child always desperately wants that love and caring and desperately wants them to have a realization of the pain they have caused so that we can have a reconciliation is always there even though we know that people suffering with NPD cannot do this. It's so tragic because despite their abuse we still love them and still have that instinct and desire deep down to be loved by them in the same way.
I will pray for you Jill and for all those going through a similar situation. Sending you so much love. Karl from the UK ❤ xxx
Dearest Jill, my heart goes out to you. I was crying with you, too. Just want you to know that three and a half years after my mother passed, I heard from her through my favorite medium. She is "very happy and very peaceful" and "wants me to be happy," too. She also wanted to "make amends" and was "reaching out her hand". They are in a different dimension now and can see clearly. Most likely your father is also very peaceful and very happy and wants you to be peaceful and happy too. He most likely wants to make amends, too. You have helped me so much in the past three years healing from narcissist "friends". Know you are much loved and appreciated. Will keep you and your son in my prayers. God bless you beautiful Jill.
Praying for you! Thank you so much for giving of yourself to help all of us.❤❤😢😢❤️❤️
I couldn't pass by without sending you the biggest love. As the daughter of a malignant npd mother who died 9 years ago, I wanted to tell you how immensely brave and important this video is to have made. As scapegoats, our experience of this process bares so little relation to that within a normal functioning family and this is our reality. There's no way to whitewash the blood and guts of this for us and your vulnerability to make this video is incredible. It's such an important part of what we go through and is so unique in it's complexity for the scapegoats in these family systems. The emotions of this time for us are like being strapped into a roller coaster, hanging on by our fingernails, trying to ride out a hundred and one thoughts and feelings that we could never have imagined and that no-one from a healthy family has to experience: this is a reflection on how abnormal our situation is, not a reflection on our own character. Ride every wave that comes, however you need to. Since my situation 9 years ago, myself and my brother have been free to reconnect and I've been able to teach him what I've learnt about what our family was and is. Unknown to either of us because of the intentional isolation of me, we'd both been trying for the previous 15 years, to work it out alone. Your channel, and those like yours, have been a huge part in teaching him and I can't tell you how much it's saved us since and continues to do so every day. Do what you need to do, for you Jill, to navigate through this in whatever way you can. The impact of you, your work and your channel is hard to put into words and ultimately, like so many other incredible npd channels, you're one of us and we understand. Loads of love to you from me, Kay. x
This video is the definition of unconditional love. I’m so sorry for the pain and loss you are feeling. I do understand. I have thought about how I’m going to feel when a sibling I’ve gone no contact with passes. I know the grief will be there because regardless of her toxicity, I do love her and knowing it didn’t have to be this way can weigh heavy. But it is this way. She is toxic to the core and staying in contact was only serving her at my expense. Jill, in time you will see you did what you needed to do and not second guess yourself. The grief just shows what a kind and genuine person you are that loves unconditionally.
Another thought is how sad it was that you or your son or siblings weren’t contacted when your dad was in the hospital. It’s more than sad, it is just wrong. That action speaks louder than anything about his selfish wife calculating/planning more pain on his children. I’m so sorry.
Jill, you have helped COUNTLESS others out here in narc recovery land with your many talks and explanations. You have taken a life of trauma and turned it around and made it into a life of productivity with helping of others. There is no substitute for experience. The least we can do to say thank you is comment with "hugs in text" on a video such as this. Today is a day for us to let you know YOU are NOT alone and you are genuinely loved and cherished by people you've never met! The empath is often tormented when in situations like you are in today, but your empathy is God given and a blessing. Thank God for Miss Jill Wise. Keep up the good work Jill. God bless.
❤️ Find comfort if the Lord, Jill. I'm a survivor just like you are, and I bless God for people like you who helped us through the mud and the scrambled mind these people left in our lives. Look at your beautiful heart. Suffering makes sense when someone else is able to see the strong character of a soul that went through the fire of the crucible.
God bless you❤
I’m so sorry for your pain and the loss that you feel. Thank you for coming here and sharing. Maybe you and your son can do your own “funeral service” of sorts? Maybe plant a Tree or some flowers that come back each year.? Closure is important. You are such a sweet lady who has helped us all so much! God bless you Jill and Son. 🙏💕
I don't talk to both of my narcissistic parents I do think about death. And it was a hard decision I had to make. Jill I'm praying for you and your son. I know it's hard it's so sad 🥺😢
Jill, Thank you for giving countless souls the strength and resilience to face our dragons and maintain our center while living through emotional abuse. You are so strong & truly have a ripple effect on the collective So many of us are surrounded by others who could not trust the love we have to offer the world, but through alchemizing your pain, (and his too) you are empowering us to turn that beautiful love inward - transmuting our pain into power too. You are a living example that strength is pain repaired. Sadly, there is no replacement for a broken heart. The best we can do is fill the cracks with gold - as in the ancient Japanese art of Kintsugi. Filling in the cracks of our brokenness with gold. Let it serve as a reminder to embrace and celebrate that repair. We are actually overcoming the struggles of our ancestors and breaking the ancestral baggage in your lineages. Your father’s life force (his true life force) lives on through you and your son. May his memory always be for a blessing. We love you ❤
You know I read that the brain thinks you parents are there forever and grieving is so hard because the brain has to literally physically rebuild to account for the change. That's why it's so hard. ❤ Take care!
happened to me when my big bro died, 21 years ago. We were in our mid/late 20's. It has been a very difficult adjustment but for the big stuff in life, like two terminally ill fam members, he still, from beyond, helps to guard me and mine from a lot of npd harm. Some coincidences happen where I feel we've been mercifully diverted away from almost certain emotional and psych carnage. I Thank God; THE Father.
Jill, I understand how you are feeling, my Dad died 18 months ago and he was a narcissistic bully and full of rage. I was still heartbroken when he died as it meant the end of any chances of reconciliation or him changing. I wasn't estranged from him but had limited contact. He was 95 and died in pain, of sepsis in hospital. I was very upset at the thought of him suffering and I've spent many hours looking into evidence of an Afterlife. Now, I believe he is "Home" and receiving lessons on how to behave better. I believe he would feel regret for the way he behaved and that he is watching over me and my brother. You need to grieve your Dad, the bad parts etc too as you will be in complicated grief as I was. I wish I'd had a loving father or at least one who gave me the basics of life. You don't need to rush your grief, it comes in waves but it will get easier to bear. I am praying for both you and your son at this time and onwards. Thinking of you dear Jill and sending massive amounts of love. Your videos ave helped me do much and I appreciate you greatly. 💖💖💖
I hope you are at peace with what you are going through in your life. Narcissists don't care about the consequences of their words and actions or how they make their relations with others feel. I feel how very difficult it is to decide with no contact because of the social stigma and moral challenge of leaving your family group. Your decision, compassion, and forgiveness about how your father treats you show your mental strength. Your videos help me understand narcissism relationally with my family circle along with other videos on CZcams throughout the community. You and the community have inspired me to distance myself from narcissists. God bless our hearts, minds, souls, and the evil that we face. Amen.
May his soul rest in peace. ...Jill is with you. Cherish it.. Sooner or later everyone's going to depart it's an eternal truth. Prayers for him & wish all the best for you and Jill.
I had a similar situation, I cared for my dad and he drove me away with his mean and vindictive words. I was not there when he passed, I went no contact to save myself. my aunt sabatoged everything... love and hugs to you
Awwww big big hugs Jill, I am SO deeply sorry you're going through this. You and your son are definitely in my prayers. Love, hugs & God Bless you 💕💕
I am so sorry
Sorry for your loss. Sending hugs and love for you and your son. You helped me and so many others with our narcissist. With God your son and you Jill will get through this.
Heartfelt condolences about your father. I really hope he finds clarity about his former inner demons that he once had and found the realization that he'd been gone through the years with NPD and find forgiveness to his loved ones, to you, himself and to God. I really hope he'll understand and he'll be always be with you in another form and he'll see you again soon. Please, don't thought of your father abandoned you, I'm sure God will give your father a gift...Unconditional Love. You'll be alright, Jill. Your father's in God's hands now. Take care and God be with you, Jill. 🫂❤️🩹💖❤️🔥💯😇
😢❤ I feel your pain. You are in my prayers 🙏 I agree. No need to go to the funeral.
Jill you have displayed true grace and class in this situation. I appreciate your transparency and vulnerability at such a difficult time. May God bless you and yours. St. Joseph, pray for us!
You can now have the relationship you want with him. I know you know what I mean Jill. I've been there. My deepest condolences with prayers and peace for your precious heart
My deepest condolences to you & your son my love. I understand, I recently lost my narcissistic father & I am still waiting to cry. It's been a couple of years now. ❤❤❤
We stand with you
We bear witness to your utter heartbreak, devastation and loss and we hold you up with our love and deepest sympathy for the loss of you Dad and your son's Grandfather 💙
The loss of the Father you hoped you would have one day too... Not changing is a choice.
"When loving you is killing me (& my son)"... its an impossible but necessary survival reflex - escape abuse.
Those who are aiming down so hard don't really care who they bring down with them. Ignorance is still a choice if he chose not to remedy an estranged daughter situation as the parent with all due respect.
If you'd have resumed contact you know it would have been more of the same...
I too hope he didn't suffer, God is just and delights in showing mercy.
i can't lessen your pain, but after losing both parents (my mom too young and sudden) I can only imagine your utter devastation, and still even with sadness at my parents deaths, i am no contact with a sibling & other family... for the safety of me and my little ones. Its letting go of toxic hope and having radical acceptance to survive the destruction attempts.
Grieve, seek support but please don't let them achieve in death what couldn't be achieved in life. Please be gentle with yourself.
You forgave him, God knows that beloved, God knows ❤️❤️🕊🕊🕊🕊🕊😢😢⚘️⚘️🙏🏻✝️ we love you 💙
Jill, my condolences. Prayers sent for you and your son for healing ❤️🩹 hugs
Dear Jill, God Bless you and your son.
My heart goes out to you both. Take all the time you need. Be strong, and remember we are all praying for you and your family. ❤
Jill, your empathy shines so brightly. This fight is not yours alone. Many of us, myself included, will soon experience the same. The human condition is real. You have paved the path for many. Thank you for your noble efforts. Be at peace. ☪
Some things on the life's journey are hard, and even painfull no matter how the best we try to do or go right... the way is not plain, but if your heart is still warm then the world must be thankful to you.
Thank you Jill. ❤
Sending hugs and love. When someone dies we have so many emotions that we must deal with: regret, sadness, unforgiveness. I am so sorry for you losing your dad. Both of my parents have passed away, in the last year, and my relationship with them was very stressful and painful for me at times. For myself I have forgiven them. I see in hindsight so much of their behavior was based on fears that they had: fear of losing money, fear of having their kids not measure up etc. Once I understood that, it was much easier to forgive them. I did my best to give them love and acceptance in their last years, so I have no horrible regrets other than I miss them. I try to focus on what was good in my growing up years. I know in my heart they are now together in heaven. I'm sending my love and hugs to you!
Dear Jill, I hope you find peace... My deepest condolances.
I understand your pain Jill! My father is very ill and he damaged mother, myself and my brothers. But I have the responsibility of taking care of him now! Took a lot out of me! But us kids of the narcissistic will have unconditional love for our family members! May God and his angels keep you through this time! ❤❤❤❤
Praying for you Jill. I know exactly how this feels, and I understand what you're going through. May God multiply your peace. Love you Jill. Thank you for all that you do.
God bless you Jill… I can understand your pain. Be strong and a be a pillar of strength to your Son too… we all look up to you as our spiritual guide. God bless.
I understand your grief, Jill. My narcissistic father died last August. He was a religious narcissist, and I know this pain. My dad died suddenly too. I didn’t have a relationship with my father for years. I’m praying for you and your sweet son, Jill. The hardest thing I had to do was forgive my step mom. who kept my father away from me when I left their religion. I’m sending you the biggest hugs right now. I feel your pain. MAY GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR SON AND MAY HE BRING YOU PEACE THRU YOUR GRIEVING. I will be praying for you. 🙏🏻🤗♥️
Jill, time and quiet will give you perspective. You are smart and got this with grace...no matter the the hurt and difficulty.
Your feelings and your choices around your dad's death are valid. No contact with family is not easy and comes after lots of trying to resolve things. You must grieve the loss of your dad and the loss of the relationship you might have wanted. Sending you and your son warm wishes from a slightly chilly Scotland ❤🏴
So sorry for your loss Jill.
You will come out of this stronger than ever. I promise!!
❤ ❤ My heart goes out to you.
Sorry to hear about your loss Jill sending virtual XOXO XOXO your way you and your son will be in my thoughts and prayers ❤ I know exactly how you feel I was hoping someday that some how things could be fixed with my family but in my mind I know way to much damage was done for that to EVER happen.
Sending you so much love. ❤ I understand holding on to the hope ❤️ Take a deep breath in ❤️ Sending you love and healing 💕
Jill, our lives are slightly better for having you and your work in them. Thoughts with you at this difficult time.
I am so s sorry for your loss. No judgement here. You are in my thoughts and prayers. God bless and comfort you and surround you with loving peace.
Stay strong Lovely Lady! This too will pass! Sending our most sincere condolences for your lost! 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
I’m so sorry😢
My deepest sympathy for you at this time! 😢 Its hard missing the parent you needed . Praying for strength for you and your son at this difficult time .. and thank you for helping so many people experiencing the same with family etc . God Bless you!
You are such a compassionate being and a beautiful soul. I wish everyone aspired to have the awareness that you do. Sending you so much love, and healing during this difficult time. Love and light to you and your family. May you all find peace and happiness.
So sorry honey. Sending hugs during your grief from a tormented past. I can relate.
Praying for the Peace & Comfort that only God can provide. 💔
❤ It is a transition here and hereafter. I pray for you and all of your loved ones. 🧡✨️🎶
Jill, sending thoughts and prayers to you and your son. Many of us who tune into your channel can understand your pain because many of us also have narcissistic parents we were forced to go no contact with because our moral values don’t align with theirs. That doesn’t mean we don’t love them. You have every reason not to go to services. Take good care of yourself. 💕🙏🏼
You’re in my thoughts, Jill. You’re such a strong person and I pray that you are able to move through the grief of this time without guilt. Sometimes our choices are made for us. You have been tremendously helpful to me in my own personal journey. It says everything about who you are that you chose to put good and positivity into the world after what was done to you. I admire you as a woman and human being. Standing with you in spirit ❤
That made me cry. Thank you 🙏❤️🙏
I only recently found you and it has been so helpful. I have a narcissist father and am trying to make that difficult decision about no contact. Thank you for sharing your grief and I wish you peace.
Praying for peace over U and Family ;) Grieve as much U feel is best for U. Your father is in peace and U deserve peace as well. Be Well and Stay Happy & Joyful.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours. So sorry, lost my dad two years ago, and I want to thank you, and let you know that you are appreciated and loved, I don't usually post, but I listen, you give so much, and make a big positive difference. God bless ❤🙏🌻