The (male) ENTJ mindset to love, dating & relationships
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- Äas pĆidĂĄn 20. 08. 2024
- Dating an ENTJ is simple! don't over think it! đ How do you know if an ENTJ likes you? What do ENTJs look for in a partner? How can an ENTJ have better relationships?
Today I caught up with 'MBTI time' (INFP). She asked me questions about ENTJ love & ENTJ relationships.
This advice relates to
www.mbtitime.com/
www.instagram....
Check out more of this chat on her channel!
âą ENTJ Common Misconcept...
Dear entjs donât feel like youâre too intense youâre not too intense for the right person - INTP
Thanks so much. Im really weird with my personality type because Im a 5w6 ENTJ. Its like they contradict each other but I ended up being an extremely analytical extrovert who likes leading. I have always felt weird an after investigating the two tests I guess I have confirmed I am weird.
@@albusdumdledore5919 thereâs a lid for every pot. X
Love INTPs! Thanks for this!
@@TeNiPersonalityGrowth it would be nice if you could make a video on which is more important to a ENTJ in a romantic relationship : physical attraction or mentally stimulating conversations
@@Goldforever-vp8zq your not wrong, my girlfriend is probably an intp and she's perfect for my personality. It's weird
As an INTJ, that intense and directness are what is charming about ENTJs to me. Im tritype 514.
I'm an INFP and I don't find ENTJ's intensity bad, I love ENTJ'S passion and intensity!
So relatable right now
..as an INFP whose met an ENTJđ
My ENTJ partner of 10 years and I (INTP) were very direct with each other. There was no bs as I'd experienced with other men and I really liked that. Also I knew he liked me before that because he was fixing things for me and changing his schedule for me. That's a clear sign an ENTJ is into you! Loved listening to this.
Are you guys still together?
Entjs def like to show their care through acts of service etc.
What an ENTJ woman looks for in dating or relationship I believe is different. I always looked for intelligence, one who could speak directly, and most of all, no drama. Someone comfortable in their own skin and their life. A needy, clingy, jealous guy is sooo unappealing to me. He has to be interested in learning things and questioning things, and critical thinking. My love language is Acts of Service. Pretty words or gifts dont cut it. They are nice, but what is really sexy to me is a man who does things to make my life a bit easier. Fix the door that keeps sticking, take the garbage out without me having to ask you, pick up dinner on the way home when I have had a tough day. Stuff like that!
I've been thinking a bit about this, I think perhaps there might be a difference in between male and female ENTJs, I wonder if that is influenced by culture and gender roles/stereotypes?
@@TeNiPersonalityGrowth when it comes to dating , of course men and women approach it differently, regardless of their personality type. We have different needs and requirements. Culture does play a big role as do generational differences. A woman coming of age in the sixties is going to approach relationships differently than a woman in the 90âs.
@Anonymous Me I didnât talk about INTP females at all. I, as an ENTJ am in a long time relationship with a INTP male. I donât know how it works with the sexes flipped.
@Anonymous Me sure! I plan to make a video on this one day, with my thoughts.
I tend to think that INTP is best for female ENTJs, but for male ENTJ, while the INTP is still top tier, itâs shared with other personalities (INFP and maybe one other) this is because itâs harder for the INTP to be noticed by the male ENTJ at first.
That said, any type can work well together and Iâm married to an ESTJ which is not usually listed âas idealâ
One day, I plan to make a âtier listâ of compatibility, where I explain my thoughts - thanks for the comment as it keeps me motivated to make more videos :)
I agree with this. As an ENTJ female the points he made didnât completely resonate with me. In fact when it came to dating I had no desire for marriage because I was so focused on my own success. I enjoyed the thrill and physical aspect of being with guys but never took them serious enough to settle with. I eventually found a man who impressed me with his intelligence, confidence, humor, and wit. Oddly enough what I was really attracted to was his emotional intelligence. Iâm more logical than emotional and can become indifferent or cut people off if Iâve justified it in my mind. He was the opposite and seeing how deeply he felt towards people and how passionate he was for life really triggered something in me. It was like Iâd found a priceless treasure I had to protect and call mine. He really was the best thing to enter my life and Iâm forever grateful for him.
The ENTJ I know drives me crazy with attraction and Iâm an INFP 4w5. Heâs just ugh đ
I'm an entj female. I'm not sure if men and women are the same but ill tell you right now, we are logical creatures. Your feelings literally won't get you from point A to point B. And thats just the way we view things. Everything. We don't understand feelings so we don't cater to them. We are sensual beings . Logically , we want to love you by giving you pointers on how to better your life. Well want to touch and feel on the surface. Honestly, we just want to be understood. And unfortunately, we view too many feelings as drama or weak. My high-school sweetheart was a feeling type . We were together for 9 years and had 2 kids together. And to this day I can honestly say we were never inlove. I view him as one of my best friends and is more like a brother to me. Its weird. I know. But he'd carry on and honestly, there was no way he felt different because I am who I am and he is who he is. I think what I'm trying to say is I understand the attraction but really ask questions and get to know people to understand the type of attraction. People can't change their baseline ways of thinking . As an entj we appreciate introverts and perception . But that introversion a lot of times gets us because we fill in blanks and in time its not what we thought.... in a nut shell. You'll have to tell an entj man what you're feeling and why like he's an idiot because he is when it comes to that and if he cares about you he will take a minute. If he don't, hell just get frustrated and uninterested. Its better to figure things out sooner than later. An entj is wanting to grow ALWAYS, they do not want to be kept down , held back and can not operate in chaos. This is a drive that NEVER STOPS. You're either with us or against yourself in our eyes , should you choose to ignore logic. Its just the way we are.
@@gabepetro358 not all entjs are the same, some of them have a lot of romantic feelings and passion
My husband is entj, I'm entp. I'll never be tired of him. 20 years of growing up together, but both of us require it's own space. No stupid drama. Lot of brainstorming and creations. Even when we have different opinions, I can understand why he think that way, so I can respect his point. I probably couldn't have anyone else after having this relationship. We surely changed each other a bit in time, making both of us a better version of what we could've been.
0:21
As an INTP, I love the way he thinks.
Heâs 100% right.
Just be yourself from the start; donât pretend to be someone else.
an ENTJ's intenseness plays a big part of what makes them so good....so never think it's you whos too much, you're with the wrong people who just aren't enough. Most people are overwhelmed by this because they cant or dont wanna give back the same amount of dedication and commitment and prefer things to be more casual. I, an INFJ, am similarly intense and enjoy getting back what I give. On top of that...directness, honesty, loyalty, intelligence, integrity just to list the few things that come to my mind right now. And man, the sweetest part is when an ENTJ actually opens up to you and tells you all the stuff that they wouldn't tell anyone else.
I don't agree with the 'people who arnt enough' part because everyone is enough for who they are. If they are not YOUR kind of enough then so be it but everyone is whole and enough in thier own right
For those who donât know, we actually had nearly a 3-4 hr long conversation! Enjoyed our conversation, Daniel. Look forward to more in the future! Hope this would help the entj admirers out there hahah. - Mbtitime, INFP
Yes, your questions were on point! Thanks for the opportunity to explore these ideas!
For those who want to see more from this chat, you can check out this video:
czcams.com/video/EUcTbkeEHVE/video.html
Uplod the whole thinf
@Gabby I agree with you there! I think this was quite a 'masculine' ENTJ video... it would be great to hear some female ENTJ perspectices :)
what type is his wife?
You need to cut your bang a bit.
I love intense †(INFJ here)
All of my responses were âoff the cuffâ (not planned) so I thought I would add something: If an ENTJ IS playing games with you, not being direct... their intentions are almost certainly not for a long-term relationship.
Sorry you had to hear it from me!
Can you please make a video in wich you could explain the romantic relationsheep/marriage between ENTJ male, and an ENFP female? There isnt much information about this interraction and i am very interested. Please.
@@catycika4856 I'm entering a relationship with an ENTJ. I'm ENFP. He is definitely direct and I'm learning to be. I love this about him. But make no mistake he can really bring the fire in an argument in a very manipulative way.
As an INFP I just want to compliment you on recognizing the value of Fi early in life and working to improve it. It is so important to connect with and honor your feelings. Ngl, it's also a refreshing change of pace to hear an ENTJ-type valuing emotions, which we obviously value so strongly.
Btw I also hope you, or someone in your life, are looking after your Si! In one of your videos you questioned whether restaurant food wasn't just as good as a home-cooked meal and to me that just screamed "Si blindspot!"
Hahaha that is such a great insight.
To be honest, Si is a huge area of growth for me - I donât even keep a diary (and Iâm
Busy!) I rely on my Ni to constantly pop into my mind whatâs needed :p
Do you have any advice for Si?
@@TeNiPersonalityGrowth Your wife is ESTJ, correct? So my main advice is, when it comes to Si matters, defer to your wife. If she tells you to go to the doctor, don't argue, just go. If she tells you that you are overextending yourself, cut back on a low-priority project. Your Te/Ni will not accomplish much if you are sick or dead.
Se might be a doorway to Si for you. Notice how much saltier restaurant food tastes. Notice the difference in texture between fresh home-cooked food and reheated restaurant food. Notice what makes you feel a little gross after eating it.
Gardening could help with both Si and Fi. Taking a little time every day to humble yourself and attend to the needs of a small garden, while getting in touch with how you feel physically and emotionally. While you prune a rose bush you can reflect on what in your own life needs pruning.
@@livinginlux Wow, ENTJ here, and that attention to details regarding sensations sounds so... boring, or insignificant, that I can see how that might be a blind spot. I can't picture myself working with that much care a garden. My partner is an ISFJ, and she is the one that keeps reminding me to sleep before 10:30 PM, go to the doctor and learn to just spend a day walking around without talking about new ideas or projects. Thank you, I really enjoy INFP company and insights.
As INTP woman, my life is so much better when I'm with an ENTJ man.
That's why I want an ENTJ husband lol. Those feeler boys are way too indecisive. -INTJ
ENTJ here, get used to a lot of critique.
Shows our interest. If it was ultra bad or if we don't like you as a person, we would just quit if you have too many issues.
Same situation, I wanna find a male ENTJ too. I love their confidence and ambitions. I'm a fem INTP
ENTJ motto is don't waste my time
Exactly. Better things to do!
I totally get where youâre coming from; I was frequently accused of being too intense, and maybe I was, but I just didnât want to get my heart broken by connecting with someone I had no future with.
Fortunately, my wife actually has most of the traits I was looking for superficially, but ultimately I married her because I knew we could grow in our faith together as Christians.
Anyway, keep up the good content!
This gives me hope. The Christian part.
Very similar story for me and my wife :) Perhaps the directness has more of a fear component than Iâd previous realised! Great insight!
I've read somewhere that ENTJs are the way we are because we live in a dog-eat-dog world
You're still together? What mbti type she is?
The into is exactly how I feel đ.
If there's a "nice guy" I instantly don't like them because they are not being authentic and putting on a nice facade and I can tell they are trying WAY too hard. I think its because I don't want to spend time figuring that person out so if your not being authentic around me I just move one. I don't respect people who are not upfront with their personality because I want to know the real version of a person. And its like if your lying from the second I meet you what else are you lying about.
When I meet people I pick up on everything they are doing, have they speak, body language, what they're wearing, everything and then while I'm interacting with them I add to the list and after less than 5 minutes of talking with them I figure out if I like them or not (I think I am good at reading people and "sniffing them out"). It could be completely a self fulfilling prophecy but my friend that is high feeling tells me to give them a chance or that I jump to conclusions too quickly. But all I know is when I do give people a chance that make me feel weird, I'm usually right.
And if I don't like them, I want to leave the conversation and won't go out of my way to interact with them ever again.
I love INTP's because they are honest and blunt and don't give af even more than me so I respect them so much. Also when people share a lot of their feelings at once they give off sad lost puppy vibes and it is such a turn off. So INTP I admire you guys because you never complain and wont tell me a sob story and want me to feel bad for you. You guys are stable and logical and level-headed. INTP's we ENTJ's LOVE YOU!
As an ENTJ woman, this was interesting to listen to. Amusing, really. I understand why men have a hard time dating.
The duality of openness had me smiling. In the early stages of my relationships I also found I would share failures or vulnerabilities that I know the other might value important but werenât major to me. & often it would work because the other would find it incredible that Iâve overcame these major hurdles. I wonder if this ties back into our compulsion to build positive images of ourselves to better support our visions and achievement of goals? The whole âwhatever it takes/whatever worksâ mantra might be influencing here.
I also donât know whether that is healthy or not. I have only just begun my journey to self-awareness and self-actualisation after, what I took at the time, a major set back in my life on the professional stage. I am now grateful for this event because if it wasnât for that set back I wouldnât have taken time to discover what reflection was, how powerful a tool it is and the importance of self-awareness.
On a more personal note, keep the content coming. Your podcasts add value to my life and add that one extra lattice or layer to discovering who I am.
Awesome feedback! Sounds like my journey has been very similar to you in many ways.
I like you you referred to the idea of 'self awareness/actualization' - MBTI is great for creating structure and language to personality, but the ultimate goal is not to conform, but to develop who you are, as an individual!
I got to know myself after failing professionally as well.
I think I'm infj
In my opinion, ENTJs are sooo intelligent, cute and adorable AND i want to be a friend of one you guyz đâš from an ENFP
Aww thank you
I also find the enfps around me extremely adorable and energetic
As a female ENTJ there are some key differences bc we don't pursue... At least I don't. But some is similar. We aren't too into casual "hanging out" we are sizing you up for long term. But some situations you do date casual. But it can be problematic because feelings end up getting hurt and I hate that. So I tend to be somebody that doesn't date unless I see somebody with unbelievable potential. And then I pursue like a hawk but in a very indirect kind of way without pursuing.... lol. I'll be at every event that I know that you're going to LOL. I'm extremely blunt and straightforward in dating. I don't know how to play games. If I don't see long-term potential I will tell you as soon as I don't see it. And it can be in the first date. Some guys get super offended when I do this. But I will almost always offer to pay my share of the date if I see that it's going that way. Some guys I think are really cool so I'll say that I want to hang out with him in a casual way and I will put that boundary up front. But like I said sometimes that can end badly kind of depends on how secure the guy is with himself. Because in casual dating we aren't going to contact you very much. Or see that often. Because we really hate to waste our time and we're very busy people. Now in somebody with a long-term potential is a completely different scenario. All the sudden I'm like all the things... I'm 100% available. I will get an airplane and go across the country on a date (I have). It's like NI can see the future potential and TE will let nothing stand in its way when it comes to achieving goals and you just became the goal.
Great perspectives! I think it's spot on - I really should have spoken more to the male/female dynamic :)
I wonder where it comes from? How much is Biological and how much is cultural?
@@TeNiPersonalityGrowth I don't know if it would be biological because then my sisters would be like me. But I don't know if they are or not because both of them have been married for 20 years.
You're right. I will pursue indirectly and they will need to pursue me. Not cultural. This is ENTJ woman stuff 100%
@@TeNiPersonalityGrowth Iâm not too shy to pursue but I donât think itâs wise . I might initiate , but ultimately if thereâs not enough of what Iâm looking for I just drop it . I think the person that is for you wonât need to be chased or chase , youâll just magnetize to each other đ€·đ»ââïž
We don't pursue? đ ok... I have initiated contact without any issues at all.
I came to your channel from a comment on CSJs How to social engineer ENTJs lecture. I think it is pretty normal and not unhealthy for ENTJs to want to make the first move as they have their Se child need for freedom and they are also intitiating according to the type grid.
ENTJ woman and I'm not as direct about pursuing as an ENTJ man is. I think it is the only area that is.very different from an ENTJ man. Well, that and society's reaction to an intense, ambitious personality.
Being genuine?? So realđđœ
I utterly love ENTJâs.
Finally, someone out there loves us! đ
As an ENTJ, if I acted on my natural directness in the dating scene, 99.99% of women would reject it coz it would literally be like Hey, you passed my Se check so I'm interested to get to know you more and decide whether theres something more or not, dinner at 7pm, pick a day that suits u within the week. Like who the fk is gonna agree to that level of directness? LOL dating and flirting etc... are like a dance, u gotta learn that Fe shit if you wanna have better odds.
Tbh to me that's perfect. I may be INFP, maybe ENFP. Went on two dates with an ENTJ guy recently. It matches well, he was just a little pushy with physical stuff.
Bruh i fell in love in the first opening line
Really wish my ENTJ was this intense
intj here w an entj. pretty great
"I could never figure out what she wanted"
Story of my life lol
That intensity thing i can relate - ENFJ
See Iâve seen so many things that would tell me that ENTJâs are actually not great. Especially with INFPâs like it seems like a relationship that starts out really passionate but then their core differences can kill it. But he seems to be very well balanced. So I guess I should definitely keep an open mind.
what can kill it exactly?
Spot on descriptions.
I'm also comfortable as a pursuer and am very casually blunt when interested in someone. But I get really awkward when I sense someone is pursuing me haha. I think its the lack of control, but typical gender dynamics probably play a role as well ( I am a woman ).
I think the way you describe Fi is accurate. I lay all my cards on the table pretty much immediately. If anything it can overwhelm people. To me they are just facts. But I guess I just have no idea what my deep Fi feelings are. yet.
Genuine right from the start...as an ENTJ, I'm totally down with that!!!
I'm an ENTJ and he just described me
"If you're bold enough" lol the would really get my attention, i like to be challenged đ (INFJ)
INTP: I understand why they are all up in our kool-aid now. They seem interested in useless hypothetical scenarios, which is my love language. The only men I've dated successfully were ENTJs. They are willing to leave the house, which is a sacrifice the INTP people don't want to make.
ENTJ here. People do like me a lot in person but not through text if they donât know me before. I think the issue maybe is that I donât use smileyâs or I am a 0 BS guy. I am really good at real life dating but terrible at online dating. Also bc I donât to manipulate you or waste weeks of texting. Can somebody give an advice.
I wish my ENTJ was like the 23yo you đ Don't think anything bad of it, the right person (i.e. now your wife) will appreciate the intensity :)
We (both ENTJs) discussed what we find important in a relationship before even going on a date. Had a few dates, saw a lot of common values, liked how the other one thinks, had a lot of fun, held hands immediately, I'd say we were both intense, but him definitely more than me (I think that would fall under what another commenter mentioned below that a lot of women ENTJs don't chase, but we do show openly that we're interested). Started talking about visiting, cheap (and short) flights, missing each other, etc. And then the little rascal ghosted, lied, etc. I'll assume because he realized I temporarily couldn't work remotely. Out of all the ENTJs in the world, I had to find an immature one đ and now I'm stuck with the feels because not even logic will shut them down. And they say ENTJs have no feelings. They just don't know us đđđ
Where should I go to get adopted by entj -intp ..
.....please entjs adopt your intps ...we can't do things
Strongly driven by Fi values? Growth mindset? Direct? Honest? Mystifying? Thatâs an INTJ to a T. No wonder my ENTJ hubby and I have been going strong for 10+ years đ
Another thing I noticed is a need to be pushed back on. My hubby THINKS he likes it when people just fall in line with his way of doing things, but what he really likes is when someone can push back, prove him wrong, and make him grow. Infuriates him in the moment, but nothing else gets his respect and admiration as much as someone able to do that.
if an entj likes you , you will know.
I will only know once they sell their soul to me.
Sounds dangerous haha
Howww telll me!!!
Well intensity isn't automatically a bad thing. One could be too intense and only be unexpected.
Just curious. What do you think about ENTJ-ENFJ pairing?
Hey, my dad is ENTJ and my mom's ENFJ. They are like power couples at times and at times I feel like, this couple pairing should not be recommended lol. đ
I guess, it would depend on the individuals involved and how mature and developed they are, Also if they share similar values.
One of my closest friends is an ENFJ we can show each others uniqe angles to see things.
đ€Łđ€Ł Man I got hooked up to a very reserved guy as well. Been 15 months and I'm still chasing him
Update: He asked me to be his girlfriend (surpise). It's been 2 month and we are doing good so far
@@MaysField welcome to the ride.
Great video!
What type is your wife if you don't mind me asking and what types do you feel work out better with Entjs?
You know, I think Iâll make a video on exactly this soon! Thanks for your comment :)
My wife is an ESTJ :)
@@TeNiPersonalityGrowth Estj and Entj? That's interesting.
Yea itâs wild.
Si and Ni are not easy đ But we both see the world through Te, so thatâs easier!
@@TeNiPersonalityGrowth Efficiency prioritised I guess đ
Does it ever get competitive? Like Harvey Specter and Louis Litt?
ENFP here - long term committed relationship with an ENTJ... Ya'll be super confusing and conflict inducing.
You have ZERO chill lol
Sometimes it's just super confusing and conflict inducing behavior just for the sake of it not because it's real. Like arguing as a joke or bored.
How an Earth?!?
Am and entj thanks bro
I was wondering if I was ENTJ or ENFJ... When I hear ENFJs they're not as coherent as ENTJs. I'm not sure if that's why I understand ENTJs better,
I'm not sure but there is that entj guy who i believe may.. have some feelings for me... i mean he try to make eye contact he is a great guy but I'm just not sure if he do this with all girls so i try to ignore him as possible. Infj
Don't ignore! Go for it! Just be clear and honest - tell him your entire thought process/feelings process!
You remind me of Mark Cuban.
I'll take that! Haha đ€
ENTJs are bossy and annoying but why do they pair well with INTP, we are slow and indicissive tbh
Haha, they listen and are motivated with our Te and absorb it with Ti
We are fed by their Ne :)
Introverted functions consume extroverted :)
We appreciate introversion and perspective. Thinking is a must and the intuition is familiar. Almost all of my friends are feeling types and we get along well and learn from eachother. They go home at the end of the day though. romantically , it won't happen. I need a partner that can grow with me without the confines of feelings that I don't comprehend and take away time from logic to get where I'm going and trying to take my loved ones. We want to be understood . Like we understand for you what you need lol. Can't argue with logic. I'm thinking an intp would agree. Lol
@@TeNiPersonalityGrowthWhere would a woman specifically an INTP most likely find an ENTJ man to marry?
What was the mbti of the mysterious girlfriend???
I am an enfp female. I had an entj boyfriend in high-school. After 20 years of not seeing each other , we are friends on Facebook. We both have families. He said that I am his secret love. Do you think he s telling the truth? It s a nice feeling. đ
Sounds messy đ
Did he say anything in the conversation that made it apparent the msg was designed for you? If not he might have mass texted girls that. I've seen guys do this to hundreds of girls at once.
Ummm⊠this doesnât have much to do with types. I lost count of my friends who had affairs or relationships with high school sweethearts in the last few years. Might be related to the pandemic lockdowns and stuff Iâm not sure suddenly tons of high school relationships appeared and fizzled out as soon as they started although some marriages ended/on the rocks.
What mbti is your wife ? Is she a isfj ?
She is ESTJ - not a common one for an ENTJ, but works for us!
Do you not think ENTJ's try toooo hard or are they working smart and not hard at all but seem likes it on the outside?
What do You think of entj male x intp female ? Would it work out better then entj x infp ?
Dan, is there anyway to get in touch or work with you as a fellow ENTJ?
You can email me at TeNiPersonalityGrowth@gmail.com :)
You got influenced by the omni man
Haha you noticed my moustache! đ
@@TeNiPersonalityGrowth yes i did hahah
Im an ISTP who dated an ENTJ in highschool and we broke up (kinda) cuz he was going away for university. Now he's bak and we might date again. Wish me luck!
The best line anyone ever used on me (after having chatted for a few weeks) was this:
âSo, when are you going to be bold enough to ask me out on a date đâ
Best of luck!
OMG I see it the same!
Is this going to be sexist?