Collapsed Narcissist, Collapsed Histrionic

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  • čas přidán 4. 08. 2019
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    The collapsed histrionic is usually a woman with body image (somatoform) issues and a low sense of self-worth. Yet, she still needs men and uses them to regulate her flagging self-esteem and deficient self-confidence. This creates a permanent dissonance and anticipatory anxiety as such a woman expects fully to be rejected and humiliated by men.
    Low self-esteem often leads to an impaired reality test: the collapsed histrionic misreads environmental, social, and sexual cues and often ends up being mocked, shunned, abused, or sexually assaulted by men.
    She compensates for her insecurities with brazen defiance and grandiosity as well as substance abuse, all of which compound her ability to properly gauge reality.
    Her feelings of inferiority and inadequacy lead the collapsed histrionic to social withdrawal and reclusiveness. She rarely dates men and when she does, she aggresses against, pushes away, and abuses alpha males, even when they are genuinely interested in her (“preemptive abandonment”).
    Instead, the collapsed histrionic picks up "safe" males: weak, ugly losers, who are very unlikely to painfully reject her.
    Similarly, the narcissist front is penetrated in times of great crises that threaten the narcissist's ability to obtain Narcissistic Supply, or when the Narcissistic Supply is spurious (fake or low-grade), negative, or static. This is the Collapsed Narcissist (not Failed Narcissist which is a term invented by Grotstein to describe one of the phases in the development of Borderline personalities).

Komentáře • 137

  • @StarsMoonandSun
    @StarsMoonandSun Před 4 lety +216

    The collapsed narcissist is the most dangerous kind they will pull your heart strings because they look so sad and helpless ....leave them alone

    • @jamiecronin967
      @jamiecronin967 Před 4 lety +35

      They have no empathy for the damage they cause yet can really cry and so for themselves as if they are the injured party.

    • @doflamingo8366
      @doflamingo8366 Před 3 lety +16

      yeah, my ex I starved her of my narcissistic supply... I lost my love for her when she keep posting about her love for her fling Friends with benefits. That's the time I starved her of my affection and our relationship withers, because she keeps ruminating about her ex and fling while we are in relationship... Good thing I was out on it, because of too much triangulation... No contact for 6 months now... To admit she's still on my mind even she's like that has many men narcissistic supply... It was just too much degrading to my masculinity I just cant stand it because I wanted a faithful relationship...

    • @wmhhealth2018
      @wmhhealth2018 Před 2 lety +6

      Mine was a covert who would collapse when I called her on her abuse. She pulled me back several times with this routine.

  • @heatherstanley5438
    @heatherstanley5438 Před 4 lety +160

    This is the saddest thing I have ever been a witness to. I literally watched the love of my life lose his absolute mind. Come to find out he had didnt have a mind to start with... but still. This was horrible, and I had to walk away.

    • @ankitagupta3226
      @ankitagupta3226 Před 4 lety +7

      Same.

    • @heatherstanley5438
      @heatherstanley5438 Před 3 lety +2

      @@tnntlmmn277 there are many things I am, easy is the last thing to describe me .

    • @sklavinian
      @sklavinian Před 2 lety +10

      Same with my wife, whom I loved completely and unconditionally, only to see her engage in some of the most self-destructive behavior that resulted in her abandoning her marriage, her life and friends here, and all that she tried to build. The worst feeling in the world is when the one you truly love and see as your life partner just suddenly discard and discredit it all for an alternative life you and everyone around you knows is going to lead to a hard crash.

    • @sarahjanetefft
      @sarahjanetefft Před 2 lety +5

      I’m watching it happen right now 😢

    • @narnia139
      @narnia139 Před 2 lety +3

      😊 that is the exact same thought I had 5 years ago...right up to the wording...! One fine day he just blew up the life we had together to start "anew"...didn't know the first thing about narcs back then...it took me 3 years to recover and realise...a day or 2 ago I heard he blew up his life with the next poor unsuspecting person with whom he "couldn't wait to get married"...these individuals are utter jokes...glad you re doing well!✌

  • @travelthings2702
    @travelthings2702 Před 2 lety +10

    That’s why a narcissists often go for a low grade supply after an “A grade primary supply”. Generally go for someone without boundaries, self-value, or easy to manipulate.

  • @donnagleeson9894
    @donnagleeson9894 Před 4 lety +19

    I have been besieged with all manner of threats, insults, mind games etc mixed at times with cajoling to to win me back by my collapsed narcissist husband. He did me the biggest favour and left, which opened the door for me to close it real tight. When none of his antics worked on me, the threat moved to our adult children. He didn't want us on any level and despite being remarried now, he has in some ways become more dangerous. Yes we've had to drastic steps to hide our address, being detected while driving etc, police have been involved for our safety. It's no way to live but it is much better than living with complete indifference on every level. Healing has come for us as we've maintained our stance and boundaries. Freedom is more of a reality now as we've taken steps to move forward no matter what.

  • @valsedonia
    @valsedonia Před 4 lety +52

    I had the misfortune of inviting my childless, feeble aunt to live out her life with my husband and myself (no, I was not in her will) because she had helped us out financially when we were a young couple after she was showing signs of failing health. It was the worst mistake of my life not realizing that she was a narc. I always knew that she had “issues” but didn’t know how much they would be ramped up by her loss of control.

    • @valsedonia
      @valsedonia Před 4 lety +6

      jennifer blocker OMG, you have my complete sympathy for trying to do the right thing! I was my aunt’s P.O.A. and after 4 months of being her ill treated slave I was ready for the looney bin. My problem was that I was so well trained from childhood to never respond to her in a nasty way no matter how much she provoked me and this had me on edge waiting for her next remark and they kept getting worse because she *wanted* me to break down. She was on hospice though she wasn’t suffering from any terminal illness and I was thankful for that because they sent out a social worker every 3 weeks to check on us..both of us. I got to the point where I was nearing a nervous breakdown...my face twitched constantly in 4 different spots and I cried at the drop of a hat. I was even fantasizing about suicide and when I mentioned that she knew that the arrangement just wasn’t going to work. She talked to her and got her to agree that she needed more care and socializing than I could provide for her and made it seem that moving to assisted living would benefit HER not me and it worked. The first facility I moved her to she had me move her out in two weeks..but after moving her into a beautiful, brand new facility the second time...she also wanted out of that, but no dice. She wanted to go back to her home state and impose on her friends and have them take care of her, but I told her that I wouldn’t help her with that. She had her address book with her and she was free to write them and if they were willing to, fine, but I wasn’t going to be a part of it. This is when she started going into full blown dementia and became very hostile towards me saying that I wanted her dead so that I could contest her will! It got to the point where I stopped visiting her because all she did was verbally attack me. She died 8 months later.
      I hope you have another option available if things start to get out of control the way they did for me. Don’t listen to her friends or let them put a guilt trip on you. She no doubt wears a mask for them that she takes off only for her nearest and dearest (you). They have no idea what she’s putting you through.

  • @1HelloBaby1
    @1HelloBaby1 Před 4 lety +65

    Thanks Sam. I'm waiting for my ex Narcissist to collapse ! The thing is that I'll most likely never find out. No contact is the only way to be with him. Just knowing that you are correct is enough for me. Thanks again

  • @LoriLeeSurfCityTemptations
    @LoriLeeSurfCityTemptations Před 4 lety +18

    Mr . Vaknin I have tried to figure this out for 6 years . I knew I wasn't the good one but I know I have empathy. The people pleaser in me is fake most of the time . I need people to like me and smiling and helping people trick my mind also that I'm not so empty inside. I dissociated hard in my childhood no memory from birth to about 12 or 13 then chunks of time. I can't do a timeline at all. I have C.P.T.S.D. like crazy with anxiety and Cronic Depression and a drug addict ....Wooo never said all that before. I think I'm starting to go down hill deflated. I am withdrawn for sure . I guess I've been a loner all my life. I'm polite and I took that as being nice. I'm not so much of a flirt now I'm 54 and burnt out . I knew how to get what I wanted very early on when I had the bobbies big ones in school before anyone. It just grew from there . Anything for attention. I can pick other girls out that are Histrionic right away . I herd they were taking it out H.P.D. of the D.S.M. I don't think they should I'm so happy ( I think ) your talking about it. I thought maybe Borderline but no . Thank you so much

  • @loriwhite3994
    @loriwhite3994 Před 4 lety +21

    Wow, Listened again and even got more and more out of it you are a profound man

  • @ninacouser3024
    @ninacouser3024 Před 4 lety +11

    This has been such a wealth of knowledge and confirmation of exactly the process we're going through with our elderly mother. Thank you. She is absolutely collapsing. It's so good to be aware of how this disorder progresses. We're watching her sabotage herself and her relationships, and as our supply fades in quality and authenticity, she's generating her own supply. My elderly dad is also living there and we worry about how our withdrawal will affect him. It's very sad. I'm not in contact with her for the past three weeks and I'm enjoying a whole new perspective. Many thanks for such quality information.

  • @breed4659
    @breed4659 Před 4 lety +11

    Honestly I'm so sad after seeing this video. I just ended a 3 or 4 month fling with a coworker that I knew from the jump was a little off. Im at good looking, 28yr old high status guy at work with a large social circle, plenty of money and no kids. I had a couple other girls I was sleeping with but this girl was a good looking 36yr old single mom and was entertaining and fun to hang out and hook up with so I spent a decent amount of time with her. The minute I expressed any feelings at all for her she started pushing me away slowly, eventually she basically forced me to stop talking to her. She began unsuccessfully trying to make me jealous and hostile. She tried to triangulate me with my friends at work but they all turned her down. She then tried to make me feel bad for her. A month after we stopped talking she appeared physically ill and depressed, no longer her vibrant self, facebook posts about her broken heart, she left our work and got a different job and I know she's just sitting at home smoking weed by herself miserable and insecure. I just don't understand how the girl I cared about pushed me away so that she could feel bad for herself and sit at home and be miserable. It honestly makes me very sad for her. She was a really sweet girl at first.

  • @megalodon9400
    @megalodon9400 Před 10 měsíci +3

    It’s really sad watching them spiral into self destruction.

    • @meneedmoney
      @meneedmoney Před 3 měsíci

      Not for me. I was a victim of one, I did my research and have been waiting for this person to collapse. It’s happening…

  • @loriwhite3994
    @loriwhite3994 Před 4 lety +11

    Profound. How can I think you Sam vaknin, The hours and hours of knowledge and wisdom you are giving your life to help others turning all your energies into that you are a gift from God on this planet and have helped me more than you know I’m going through times with a collapsed narcissist and you are saving me

  • @tessjones5987
    @tessjones5987 Před 4 lety +59

    Huge insight- wish I had this info 50 yars ago. LOL. Thank you- you are such a Gem for those who suffer.

  • @lookingforrealanswers120
    @lookingforrealanswers120 Před 4 lety +16

    I'm at a loss. For the past year and a half I have been listening to video's to help me recover from narcissistic abuse at the hands of my ex-wife and her (self admitting) narcissistic father. This collapsed narcissist you described sounds so much like me at the moment. My ex and her father excluded me, belittled me, kept me walking on egg shells for 15 years. I left the marriage after catching her cheating on me for the third time. I always felt invalidated and learned to keep quiet when my feelings were hurt. My opinion and feelings were only ever valued when they aligned with her or his already premanifested notions. If they didn't align with hers, I was called stupid, ignored, given the silent treatment and treated poorly until I could come up with a more acceptable "opinion" or solution, or until she felt that my punishment for differing from hers was sufficient. In fact, throughout the years, anybody who didn't present an agreement with their values or opinions were cast as "stupid" or "crazy."
    Is it possible that I was so beat down, devalued, mocked, ignored, and scapegoated that I am simply a victim of narcissistic abuse who happens to be manifesting these traits of a collapsed narcissist?

    • @missshawn9159
      @missshawn9159 Před 4 lety +4

      I'm sorry.

    • @leahboynton1280
      @leahboynton1280 Před 4 lety +3

      There's a term called narcisstic beans or fleas. Inner Intregration as a CZcams video on this topic. Hang in there

    • @ponytail911
      @ponytail911 Před 3 lety +3

      You were traumatized. You are probably suffering depression. I pray you are getting better.

  • @jensbasement3862
    @jensbasement3862 Před 3 lety +6

    The collapsed "nice guy" narcissist and his "manic pixie" collapsed histrionic, make for one toxic tango.

  • @diannaboss9624
    @diannaboss9624 Před 4 lety +7

    So good to see you, Sam! So glad to have found you again it’s been a few years but dang it’s worth the wait!
    D

  • @Sophie-uc8vp
    @Sophie-uc8vp Před 2 lety +5

    Such a powerful piece Professor 👏

  • @miriamevans5200
    @miriamevans5200 Před 4 lety +13

    This describes Blanche from Street car named desire.

  • @lyleburgie
    @lyleburgie Před 4 lety +6

    thanks for putting all of these coping decisions into such a clear perspective. It explains so much about the variations of how it gets expressed, and certainly shows the path of the many mass shooters in the US at this time. I've been trying to connect the dots for a while, and this is very expertly stated.

  • @larenetaddeo637
    @larenetaddeo637 Před 4 lety +2

    WOW! Thank you. So much information and with what I've been put though, spot on!

  • @Hawelufamily
    @Hawelufamily Před 4 lety +13

    I think, after watching this video, My ex husband of 27 years is a collapsed narcissist. I didn't realize they can generate their own supply, although negative. It seems he is self destructing.

  • @felar7848
    @felar7848 Před 4 lety +7

    Thank you for your tremendous insight. I believe your appraisal of current treatments for managing/reducing the pathology of cluster B trauma disorders would be immensely helpful.

  • @iliamarino9002
    @iliamarino9002 Před 2 lety +2

    WE FOLLOW AND LIKE YOUR EXPLAINING WAY VERY MUCH !

  • @marianamenendez3245
    @marianamenendez3245 Před 4 lety +6

    Great video, I loved it👏🏻

  • @jayabella5550
    @jayabella5550 Před rokem +2

    I am amazed at your unsurpassed brilliance and awareness. I am confused by it a bit though. I don't understand the logic that if narcissism is a defense mechanism and a partner makes it worse by kindness, why do they need to up their defenses and be more malignant. What is their perceived threat? Thanks for any help. BTW your videos have literally saved many life

  • @Over60sowhat
    @Over60sowhat Před 4 lety +2

    Absolutely brilliant truth!

  • @miriamevans5200
    @miriamevans5200 Před 4 lety +7

    Thank you. This description sounds like the movie, Streetcar named desire. The character Blanch vs. Stanley, Blanch is a delusional hysterical narcissist that has gotten too old to be relevant.

    • @TheRedgoldenchild
      @TheRedgoldenchild Před 4 lety +2

      Stanley was also a narc. He beat his sister in law in front of his wife! He was having a pschosexual relationship with his wife and her sister plus dominating them both! Toxic masculinity! He removed her from the family after they replaced her with a real baby! They were all NUTS!

  • @leanita7549
    @leanita7549 Před 4 lety +18

    Priceless information. Makes total sense, given what I have seen.

  • @mistylynn111
    @mistylynn111 Před 4 lety +4

    Thank you for sharing your insight. I always wanted to help others till I was made a scapegoat for my sisters anger. I had to block her. I wish I could help her but I feel she is to dangerous to even contact. 😞

  • @timmistarr9800
    @timmistarr9800 Před 2 lety +1

    Lord this is my grandmother...I'm praying 🙏🏼 for her.

  • @captlarry-3525
    @captlarry-3525 Před 4 lety +8

    Sam, I sense that delving so deeply into the convolutions of the Narcissist is tough on you. I hope you take some comfort in the fact that your brilliant analysis is quite useful to those of us who need to know and understand these things. Thank you.

    • @OakleyANDSittingBull
      @OakleyANDSittingBull Před 4 lety +2

      @Capt. Larry, In many of his videos, Mr. Vaknin seems to enjoy his focus of study and is *out* about his own decades-long experiences with personality disorders and his criminal behaviours and subsequent legal issues that have resulted from such. He has become a celebrity via doing so and seems to greatly enjoy such attention.

  • @EvaEva-lf3ww
    @EvaEva-lf3ww Před rokem

    So interesting. Thank you

  • @zefdin101
    @zefdin101 Před 4 lety +9

    You ever wonder if really, he may be talking about you and not the other person?Maybe I am just paranoid ?

  • @nataliakorwin2679
    @nataliakorwin2679 Před 4 lety +7

    First of all many thanks and great respect for your ongoing, extremly important work. I was wondering if the histrionic personality was maybe female version of a narcissism rather than psychopathy. Once you said that psychopaths didn't need supply from other people. Histrionics are on the contrary addicted to other humans and they attention. On the other hand - my friend who probably suffers from hpd gets some pleasure from revenge. She goes 'no contact' for some time to punish somebody for not answering the phone immediately. (sorry for my english)

  • @theodorevandyke2568
    @theodorevandyke2568 Před 4 lety +4

    Excellent portrait of the collapsed narcissist
    Question: what happens if the collapse cannot be repaired?

  • @theodorevandyke2568
    @theodorevandyke2568 Před 4 lety +7

    When the collapsed narcissist turns to a saintly super religious personna is this called narcissist self supply?

    • @samvaknin
      @samvaknin  Před 4 lety +4

      Narcissism and Religion
      vaksam.tripod.com/journal45.html
      vaksam.tripod.com/faq47.html
      The Cult of the Narcissist
      vaksam.tripod.com/journal79.html

  • @andrewstallard6927
    @andrewstallard6927 Před 4 lety +12

    This sounds like me.

  • @awaitingwar5536
    @awaitingwar5536 Před 4 lety +3

    Yep. That's me .

  • @Dialyca
    @Dialyca Před 4 lety +4

    @13:03- 20:02 This is a perfect description of my sister.

  • @j.j.5330
    @j.j.5330 Před 2 lety

    If you covered this already my apologies. Would you cover narcissist + narcissist diads (in relationships, at work, etc.). Thank you for you videos! So mitch clarity.

  • @akimbohr
    @akimbohr Před 4 lety

    Thank you.
    Where can I get full explanations and examples of Histrionic men ?

  • @jamesw3888
    @jamesw3888 Před 4 lety +4

    Based on your profound insights and descriptions I diagnose myself as a Narcissist with approximately 85% of the behavioral traits you have described in various videos. Moreover, my history undeniably reflects the deliterious effects of my disorder. How do I go about seeking a therapeutic solution to resolve or at least diminish this character defect?

    • @samvaknin
      @samvaknin  Před 4 lety +2

      Only a qualified mental health diagnostician can determine whether someone
      suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and this, following lengthy
      tests and personal interviews.
      These may be of help - click on the links:
      vaksam.tripod.com/1.html
      vaksam.tripod.com/npdglance.html
      vaksam.tripod.com/faq82.html
      vaksam.tripod.com/faqpd.html
      Healing and Curing Narcissism
      vaksam.tripod.com/faq77.html
      (NEW! Cold Therapy!)
      vaksam.tripod.com/faq63.html
      vaksam.tripod.com/faq70.html
      vaksam.tripod.com/faq12.html
      vaksam.tripod.com/10.html
      vaksam.tripod.com/case03.html
      vaksam.tripod.com/faq31.html
      vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily8.html
      vaksam.tripod.com/personalitydisorders37.html
      vaksam.tripod.com/personalitydisorders45.html
      Links to Therapist Directories, Psychological Tests, NPD Resources, Support
      Groups for narcissists and their victims, and Tutorials:
      groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/narcissisticabuse/conversations/messages/5458
      Support groups for victims of narcissists and psychopaths (and one or two
      groups for narcissists)
      dmoz.org/Health/Mental_Health/Disorders/Personality/Narcissistic/Support_Groups/

  • @notsev7566
    @notsev7566 Před 4 lety +6

    Can a narcissist or histrionic come out of a collapse?

  • @b11nladen
    @b11nladen Před 4 lety +1

    Hi Sam,
    The best video I've ever seen from you; not to say that they're not all worth watching. I have a question. What are your opinions on certain drugs? I don't mean about why people take them, however you may think that this is linked. What I mean is that if someone starts acting differently during or following a long period of this or that drug, then they begin to act in a manner very, very diferent than they previously did, is this really applicable to the sets of characterisitics that you might apply to that person?
    I used to be of the opinion that drugs were more an excuse to behave badly for some people, with the caveat that for instance whilst drunk someone might see something as threat, be violent, then the next day they'll be sorry as they didn't read it correctly due to being intoxicated. I'm not talking about that. My specific focus is on over the counter opiate abuse, as on more than one occasion now I see it totally change people, making them behave in manners which would be totally out of the question previously*.
    (*I do not speak about someone stealing all of a sudden as they are desperate for a fix.)
    I suppose (generally early life) trauma is what creates all of these conditions in the current way of thinking, but are outside physical stimuli the same or are they---being removable---in a different category. I appologise for my lack of dexterity here, but are they a factor which make such analysis void (i.e. inapplicable) by your way of thinking?
    Again. The start of this video was very well put.
    I hope your life's going well,
    Tom

    • @samvaknin
      @samvaknin  Před 4 lety +2

      Medication and narcissism
      vaksam.tripod.com/faq70.html
      Pathological narcissism is a reaction to prolonged abuse and trauma in
      early childhood or early adolescence. The source of the abuse or trauma is
      immaterial - the perpetrators could be parents, teachers, other adults, or
      peers. Pampering, smothering, spoiling, and "engulfing" the child are also forms
      of abuse - see these:
      vaksam.tripod.com/narcissismglance.html
      vaksam.tripod.com/npdglance.html
      vaksam.tripod.com/journal42.html
      metapsychology.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=de&id=419
      Narcissistic and psychopathic parents and their children - click on the
      links:
      groups.google.com/forum/#!topic/NARCISSISTIC-PERSONALITY-DISORDER/kA1vtsqWAiI
      The Genetic Underpinnings of Narcissism
      vaksam.tripod.com/journal43.html

  • @renep7008
    @renep7008 Před 4 lety

    Question? My girlfriend was acting impossible with me, so I dumped her, for fear she was going to dump me for a second time. She immediately cut off all communication and blocked me. Did I cause an injury/collapse? She always used to say, if it didn’t work out for us, she would give up on trying to have a boyfriend. She no longer posting on social media Instagram. I’m not blocked by her on there, can see her post count. No change. Tried to DM her, sent emails. Nothing.

  • @rosebrown6811
    @rosebrown6811 Před 4 lety +2

    Oh god I’m there,he has collapsed,gone through the aforementioned stages,he’s at the begging and cajoling,turning to rage this evening,refuses to see anyone,is angry and resentful ...

    • @kelleyf
      @kelleyf Před 4 lety +1

      Haven’t finished the video yet, but for my situation the next stage was “ignored me while I tried an equitable discussion, laughed, mocked me and then the silent treatment after I left the house. Then played re-idolization, victim and now ? don’t care because I’m out and learning all I can so I don’t get sucked back in again.

    • @rosebrown6811
      @rosebrown6811 Před 4 lety +5

      Kelley W it’s useless trying to communicate with someone like this,it’s banging your own head against your own brick wall,they don’t have the capacity to care or even see how their shitty behaviour affects you or I or anyone else for that matter,utterly pointless,life’s too damn short for this shit,I suggest you me and anybody else who realised they’re with one of these whack jobs fuck off into the sunset and live our lives in peace .... excuse my French yea,I’m just so done with it peace 🖖✌️🤛

  • @kaarlimakela3413
    @kaarlimakela3413 Před 4 lety +1

    It isn't hard to recognize the antagonized antagonist of most thriller movies in the traits described. Screenwriters take note!

  • @jeantave8562
    @jeantave8562 Před 4 lety +3

    Growing up with an alcoholic and Narcissistic Personality disorder, ( which I spent years in therapy learning this and dealing with the effects on me.) Being around her and helping her now that she is in her 80's, which in my situation has made her 10xs magnified to be around her abuse emotionally and mentally, I am left feeling I am the Narc. or Histrionic??? How do family members deal with this when they have to be around their parents again? My past therapy seems to go out the window and I believe I'm this horrible, selfish, and several other words she calls me. Or am I the Narc/ Histrionic? How do we know?

    • @coffeewoffee
      @coffeewoffee Před 4 lety

      Don't worry my friend. I think some of us have all been there. Just do your best and don't engage and try to do the better thing. One thing at a time. One day at a time. We want good in the world and truth will prevail. God bless you.

    • @Freedommjw
      @Freedommjw Před 4 lety +4

      I'm pretty sure the fact that you have asked this question means you aren't...my narc made me wonder but it wasn't true. A true narc can't or won't ask such a question about themselves. Self reflection isn't their strong suit.

  • @RabiWielkiePracie
    @RabiWielkiePracie Před 4 lety

    No introduction in the start of the video made me think the voice is gone xD

  • @singingcheescakes
    @singingcheescakes Před 4 lety +4

    Strange question, if/when one has gotten CPTSD from haviing been in a NPD-relationship,? One could heal from it? But if one gets NPD by beiing traumatized in early youth wich is also a form of ptsd, one can NOT heal? For people with NPD cannot heal, is what people say.... I do understand there are imprinting windows in certain times and periods in developement of a childs brain , fases that dont come back later that could play part. But usually children being raised by a parent with NPD get traumatized and so triggered into Borderline or NPD too, or just develope into having a low self esteem and have a high pleasing nature together with a higher acceptance of others crossing their boundairies?.Because they grew up with that behaviour being normal ..... These children tend to accept partners who cross boundaries too , so are more likely to date people with NPD and yet again become traumatized again. To me its seems difficult. It is actually a chain reaction almost culturally passed on from generation to generation. Then there is the genetic motoric cause , E.G, the amygdala working poorly the part of empathy not working correctly. Again i am sorry to be a liitle off subject, i got thinking about "actually NPD stemming from PTSD... They Cause it, and were created by it. What does it make a person having experienced both triggers in early life and as an adult? And where is the discrepancy between PTSD from trauma in adult life, en PTSD from trauma early life? And if the latter influenced choices for NPD partners in adult life? Are all children raised by Cluster B personalities Narcsissists or borderliners? Isn't there a third outcome? And IF all children from NPPD's have these disorders and were more likely to get traumatised again because of poor partner choices? Wouldnt most victims of NPD-abuse havep roblems being empathic themselves? If all these theories were put together one could almost think that this must be the case... But i do believe there is a third form of disorder that can result into an individual that has low esteem, but has a lot of empathy. Is there a third kind of individual stemming from early trauma ?

  • @kungfujoe2136
    @kungfujoe2136 Před 4 lety +1

    here's a question for mister vaknin
    what hapens when a psychopath and a narcissist cross swords?

    • @kungfujoe2136
      @kungfujoe2136 Před 4 lety +2

      @@belowthesilvermoonBe you can have the flue and cancer
      gues which one is more significant

  • @bebel_9338
    @bebel_9338 Před 2 lety

    What is the main difference between histrionics and narcissists?

  • @palmina77italiana
    @palmina77italiana Před 4 lety +8

    substance abuse can be prescription drugs/narcotics too right?

    • @truthmerchant1
      @truthmerchant1 Před 4 lety +3

      Definitely

    • @Nancy-yw1rr
      @Nancy-yw1rr Před 4 lety

      Mine abused alcohol, and believe it or not, energy drinks!

    • @shan5193
      @shan5193 Před rokem

      Yes it's an addiction if something is abused of course it will give you a "high". I myself take medication for pain and for my adhd however I take it as prescribed someone with an addiction could easily abuse it x

  • @marym897
    @marym897 Před 4 lety +1

    Would a narcissist ask if he was a narcissist?

  • @lindatallon9217
    @lindatallon9217 Před 6 měsíci +1

    Picture Harvey Weinstein shuffling into the courtroom with a walker..........

  • @opheliaheimat3685
    @opheliaheimat3685 Před 4 lety

    At 5:05 when mentioning the kind of males that collapsed histrionics choose, are they the alpha males or the opposite?
    I've replayed the video, but I heard both kinds are for collapsed histrionics, I supposed the histrionics choose alpha males and collapsed histrionics the beta males or was this about collapsed narcissits?
    Also histrionic is the equivalent of psychopaths (males) in females of the species?

  • @thearchive8687
    @thearchive8687 Před 4 lety +7

    I think I’m a narcissist of the kind you speak of in this video. 😔 I don’t know what to do. Am I confused?

    • @thearchive8687
      @thearchive8687 Před 4 lety

      Well, just liking a comment doesn’t do much. Can I get a response? I’d like to learn more.

    • @jazzy07891
      @jazzy07891 Před 4 lety +11

      If you’re watching a video about it, you’re probably not. You’ve probably been told you are crazy or something is wrong with you by a narcissist.

    • @thearchive8687
      @thearchive8687 Před 4 lety +2

      Nicole Cordova I have been diagnosed with schizophrenia but I was afraid that I might be a narcissist too. I guess I was just confused 🤷‍♂️

    • @thearchive8687
      @thearchive8687 Před 4 lety +1

      Thank you both for responding. 👍🏾

    • @domoarigato5132
      @domoarigato5132 Před 4 lety +4

      @@thearchive8687 you wouldn't have concern about it...it would be a source of pride.

  • @palmina77italiana
    @palmina77italiana Před 4 lety +1

    Thank you for these videos. They are very helpful through the healing process and understanding. I noticed some of the things you have said describe me partially and I am having a hard time with this...I am a victim but I'm not wanting to allow myself to be a victim. I am surrounded by narcissists who have been in fact severely abused by another narcissist who is abusing me also. Some of these people are being used and are easily manipulated and influenced and to be honest, I am afraid of letting my guard down when I am around them. To cut contact totally with them is more dangerous because of what they proved to me what they are capable of. ..."Keeping friends close but enemies closer" seems to be true in my case. Does that make me a narcissist too ?

    • @samvaknin
      @samvaknin  Před 4 lety +3

      When victims become narcissists samvak.tripod.com/faq42.html

  • @kristinakeszoczeova3890
    @kristinakeszoczeova3890 Před 4 lety +3

    I would like to ask you something what is confusing for me and I cannot handle it. My narcissistic boyfriend discarded and left me some weeks ago. For the fourth time. We were together for almost four years. I asked him why he did this again (I know I shouldn’t). He told me, that he has no feelings. Absolutely. Not just towards me, but at all. No love, no hate, no joy, nothing. That he can think exclusively and only to himself and is not able to function in a relationship. He started to cut his hands with a knife just to feel something, anything. He treated me like shit at the end, like he always did when he was about to leaving. But now he is realy cold-blooded. What do you think about it? Won’t he need a suply? Is this possible?!Will he hoover me? Should I cut off all the ties? Could it be just another lie or can he be realy totally without emotions?

    • @kwarrior2895
      @kwarrior2895 Před 4 lety +12

      Run and never look back.

    • @Nancy-yw1rr
      @Nancy-yw1rr Před 4 lety +6

      He sounds like a psychopath.

    • @user-bh3dd1bi6t
      @user-bh3dd1bi6t Před rokem

      He is sochiopath you should run away he wishes to destroy everyone

  • @squirtlent
    @squirtlent Před 4 lety +3

    I feel like i do everything on all these videos.. Im a AMDNarcCoHostMonster.. But I'm not revengful. Lol ... The rabbit hole of me

    • @ds33153315
      @ds33153315 Před 4 lety +1

      Yet....

    • @squirtlent
      @squirtlent Před 4 lety +3

      @@ds33153315 I'm starting to think we all have small degrees of all this stuff.. Some higher in places then others .

  • @rachelrosen5501
    @rachelrosen5501 Před 4 lety

    I was dumped by a weak, ugly loser about four days ago. Am I a collapsed histrionic? It's true I have abandonment issues because I was abandoned by both parents before I was 13 years old. And yes I tend to "push" people away. I have no friends, no social relationships. So what happened? Why did this ineffectual, ignorant male reject me after 3 1/2 years of "devotion"?

    • @Nancy-yw1rr
      @Nancy-yw1rr Před 4 lety +6

      Narcissists easily get bored. No matter how devoted and loyal you are, they are always looking for new supply.

  • @ildikoivanyi6873
    @ildikoivanyi6873 Před 4 lety +1

    Is it possible to be a histrionic, inverted narcissist, and borderline? lol!

  • @DeanRendar
    @DeanRendar Před 4 lety

    Welp, that's humbling. Good to know about the ugly side of hyper vigilance before it turns you into a spectacle once more, as to modify and be mindful to keep it in check. But I still don't want to pedestal people simply for being eligible to know me any more. The whole thing smacks of desperate frantic energy and that always gets picked up on by a parasitic user of people who doesn't appreciate it while it exists. That's growing up and exhibiting self respect in a world that read your backlogged history and still assume you haven't matured beyond friendship glory boasting.

  • @JFKMS
    @JFKMS Před rokem

    What about a Gay female histrionic? Notice I said Gay, NOT Lesbian.

  • @user-eb6ll6wd2r
    @user-eb6ll6wd2r Před rokem

    the collapsed histrionic is routinely used by the narcissist and like flies attracted to shit, the moment the histrionic shows signs of genuine recovery and is about to take flight, she is reduced into the collpased histrionic by the jealous and controlling narcissist
    and no they dont have to be a 'relationship' for that to happen
    there is nothing that a narcissist can't stand more, okay he totally hates this: women who are SUPPOSED to be histrionics and collapsed histrionics by his estimation. if she found out how not to be one....he will turn her into one
    histronic is 100% caused by misogyny 100%

    • @user-eb6ll6wd2r
      @user-eb6ll6wd2r Před rokem

      the narcissist creates damnsels in distress (histrionics) to boost his need to be seen as a hero and better than her

  • @likeworldlikeworld2485
    @likeworldlikeworld2485 Před 4 lety +1

    Wow! What a concept! The collapsed narcissist!
    I suppose the definition of a narcissist is basically, someone who wasn't educated to meet the world.
    Some sensitive people need more education than others. And if they come to their own wrong conclusions, and are not educated to meet the world, they then develope narcissism.