How He TESTS To See If You're WIFE Material

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  • čas přidán 17. 01. 2024
  • ❤ Get your copy of "How To Get A Man To Cherish You" here 👉 bit.ly/BeCherishedByHimYTSpecial - How He TESTS To See If You're WIFE Material...As a certified life coach, relationship coach, and dating coach, I want to make dating and relationships easier for you. I pray you find this video helpful, and that you will receive the man who is truly best for you.
    If you are asking any of the following questions or searching for:
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    and more, well, I believe this dating advice for women video will give you the clarity you need!
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Komentáře • 461

  • @lindaVp23019
    @lindaVp23019 Před 4 měsíci +879

    No need to play games to figure out what someone is about. Have a conversation and listen. Don’t test me.

    • @FriskyTendervittles
      @FriskyTendervittles Před 4 měsíci +29

      You think you don’t test men? We all do it unconsciously. It’s how we evolved as a species

    • @jennhawkins5356
      @jennhawkins5356 Před 4 měsíci +15

      I agree, Linda. The specific “tests” that Stephan mentioned in this particular video were rather deceptive in nature.
      If the roles were reversed, how would he feel?
      Lol, a thought that just occurred to me…what if a woman dated the guy and had breast implants, then after a couple dates decided to get those things removed? It’s just a test, right?? Gotta find out what type of man you are! 🤷‍♀️

    • @BB-iy2mk
      @BB-iy2mk Před 4 měsíci +20

      I actually Find tests a sign of emotional intelligence. You cannot simply ask a woman Look if i would do x thing, how would you React? So you test her. I test men too, not intentional But still

    • @BB-iy2mk
      @BB-iy2mk Před 4 měsíci +3

      The guy in the example with the car is not Smart, But some tests are Smart.

    • @FriskyTendervittles
      @FriskyTendervittles Před 4 měsíci

      @@BB-iy2mk and usually done unconsciously

  • @hellohi3778
    @hellohi3778 Před 4 měsíci +697

    If he's testing you he ain't the one. Don't let people play games with you. You're not a child.

    • @outsidethebox8406
      @outsidethebox8406 Před 4 měsíci +2

      💯

    • @DezRN
      @DezRN Před 4 měsíci +26

      Playing games is different than paying attention to your actions and reactions. People who date seriously should be discerning.

    • @CrockyDile15
      @CrockyDile15 Před 4 měsíci

      Exactly. And I realized if a man feels the need to "test" a woman then he really doesn't like her enough, quite frankly. A man would never even think to test the woman who embodies everything he ever could have imagined to want for himself because he wouldn't want to risk losing her. He'd only ever present his very best self to that woman. If he's risking losing a woman over a FABRICATED scenario, she's likely not his ideal woman.

    • @dwanjiku15
      @dwanjiku15 Před 4 měsíci

      @hellohi3778 exactly

    • @paolaree8004
      @paolaree8004 Před 4 měsíci

      Right

  • @annaa6259
    @annaa6259 Před 4 měsíci +366

    Real man does not test , he knows . Testing is manipulative players card

    • @thecurrentmoment
      @thecurrentmoment Před 4 měsíci +5

      They will test but won't go out of their way to contrive an artificial situation to test a woman.
      Life will throw enough tests your way, and he'll just have to observe. But he might 'test' a woman by getting her to participate in a situation and see how she goes. E.g. how will she be around friends?
      But I think those situations wouldn't be contrived specifically to test a woman, I agree with you there

    • @Phantom6lack
      @Phantom6lack Před 4 měsíci

      Yeah if u like u what about if he doesn’t lol.

    • @drewtill9526
      @drewtill9526 Před 4 měsíci

      😂😂

    • @NikitaWolff
      @NikitaWolff Před 4 měsíci

      😂

    • @mabathomosekeli
      @mabathomosekeli Před 4 měsíci +2

      I understand you but maybe men are just tired of being liked for what they have 🤷. I believe a man who has had to deal with that a lot would consider the testing.

  • @jedimastermind007
    @jedimastermind007 Před 4 měsíci +397

    Once the testing starts, it may never end (even in a marriage) depending on the mindset of the test giver.

    • @coolcat3452
      @coolcat3452 Před 4 měsíci +7

      Turning the man into puppeteer & the woman the puppet!!😂😂😂😂😢😢😢

    • @Erica-cf1xb
      @Erica-cf1xb Před 4 měsíci

      If it's a monkey...let the scamming begin. 🐒🐒🐒

    • @NinaR478
      @NinaR478 Před 3 měsíci +1

      Yup

    • @theorderofthebees7308
      @theorderofthebees7308 Před 3 měsíci +2

      Facts !

  • @willow_pillow
    @willow_pillow Před 4 měsíci +287

    A man tested me by asking me if he could come over late at night and bring some wine. I got so angry! I just told him to buzz off and thought he was a player.
    Much later he says, I wanted to test you, if you said yes, I would have deleted your number.
    The thing is, I understand the guy, but my impression of him was ruined for a very long time.
    Edit: This man has worked in the restaurant and nightlife industry for many years. He has seen women following men home, because they can get more alcohol at his place. So in his mind, for some women, booze counts more than the man itself and therefore will not be faithful.
    I had to explain, that women thinks the man just wants to have seggs if he asks to come over late at night bringing alcohol.
    So in the end we both was looking for integrety

    • @Teresanicole23488
      @Teresanicole23488 Před 4 měsíci +54

      Id never talk to them again lol

    • @Mo.1988
      @Mo.1988 Před 4 měsíci

      @@user-hm9yw6ue9k lol

    • @willow_pillow
      @willow_pillow Před 4 měsíci

      @@user-hm9yw6ue9k What did I not learn? That men test, or how men test? Would he had come over late at night if I said yes? Perhaps. Would it automatic leed to s..? Not necesary. Would he deleted my number if it happened? Mabye.
      This man actually proposed to me neary two years later and there has been no s..
      He always tells me Im a good harted person, and it was when I asked him how he knew that, he told me about the test

    • @Jacqxzdiva1
      @Jacqxzdiva1 Před 4 měsíci +77

      He wasn’t testing; he was starting the manipulation

    • @Taisha12001
      @Taisha12001 Před 4 měsíci +35

      I'll never understand how misrepresenting yourself is a good thing. All your really doing is showing why I should NOT date you .

  • @queenstatus3049
    @queenstatus3049 Před 4 měsíci +249

    My husband said he loved that I never asked for anything. Now he gives me the world.

    • @PositiveDeviantPerson
      @PositiveDeviantPerson Před 4 měsíci +19

      Well my experience was the opposite, that gave way for my ex to treat me like no one not even when I broke my foot or was pregnant. Never again.

    • @vivianamieres
      @vivianamieres Před 4 měsíci +13

      ​@@PositiveDeviantPerson exactly. Not good to be a martir to be loved

    • @YmustTh3w0rldG0r0und
      @YmustTh3w0rldG0r0und Před 4 měsíci +4

      That's a good man that actually loves you.

    • @MB-xv7er
      @MB-xv7er Před 4 měsíci +29

      You got lucky. Most women who never ask for anything are often treated very poorly

    • @ALI-vj3zg
      @ALI-vj3zg Před 3 měsíci

      @@MB-xv7erAGREED

  • @TheAttractionTriggers
    @TheAttractionTriggers Před 3 měsíci +71

    *When it comes to men and dating it's quite simple, just ignore everything that they say, and only pay attention to what they do.*

    • @zaragray6199
      @zaragray6199 Před 18 dny +2

      Yep actions speaks louder than words

  • @tiffanyyisrael7989
    @tiffanyyisrael7989 Před 4 měsíci +126

    If a man tests me I'm failing on purpose. I'm too seasoned for games and unnecessary shenanigans. 🤷🏾‍♀️ Last guy I had contact with tried to test me, by saying he would call, but never did and wanted me to call him first and guess what happened? Yep.........he never heard from me again. Play silly games, win silly prizes. 🤷🏾‍♀️✌🏾

    • @fa9183
      @fa9183 Před 3 měsíci

      They want us to chase and fight for them, but that's not feminine. Men are supposed to prove themselves to women.

    • @jazminerenee4077
      @jazminerenee4077 Před 2 měsíci +6

      Play with ya mama not me lol smh

    • @cashemaam3sh866
      @cashemaam3sh866 Před měsícem +1

      That's right sis ❤

    • @danidadon4282
      @danidadon4282 Před měsícem

      Straight like that 💯💯

  • @CharCharJars
    @CharCharJars Před 4 měsíci +247

    When you naturally listen and watch people’s actions, they tell on themselves 🤷🏾‍♀️
    Just keep saying no to red flags 🚩 and work on not being the 🚩

  • @enongenegaty3772
    @enongenegaty3772 Před 4 měsíci +45

    I broke up with a guy I truly loved because I noticed he liked testing me. I warned and asked him not to test me. I asked him to live and behave normally with me but he failed to understand. If you're testing me it means you're also pretending and I hate pretenders

    • @jazminerenee4077
      @jazminerenee4077 Před 2 měsíci +2

      Yes

    • @patriciamaluta
      @patriciamaluta Před měsícem

      @@jazminerenee4077sam thing happened to me that man was testing me for months smh I was just tired of him being childish

  • @TheGlamourBOXinc
    @TheGlamourBOXinc Před 4 měsíci +164

    My husband never “tested” me in order to be his wife. This is terrible. 😅

    • @theorderofthebees7308
      @theorderofthebees7308 Před 3 měsíci +5

      Absolutely terrible

    • @Liz-dragon-street.
      @Liz-dragon-street. Před 2 měsíci +5

      Yes he did .. and you didn't even knew it.

    • @belanda1980
      @belanda1980 Před měsícem

      You were probably together from a young age. After multiple broken relationships you get more careful.

    • @bertineleinyuy6709
      @bertineleinyuy6709 Před měsícem

      Exactly. I was about saying that. Most men do that but you'll never know cz he wouldn't tell you​@@Liz-dragon-street.

    • @julianafrancis5699
      @julianafrancis5699 Před měsícem

      I agree

  • @zerodeconduite804
    @zerodeconduite804 Před 4 měsíci +281

    Psychopaths test, too, seeking their victim.

    • @kimwilson8140
      @kimwilson8140 Před 4 měsíci +8

      Yes so true, I was a victim but Kno I’m good and healing

    • @Nina-ur3ld
      @Nina-ur3ld Před 4 měsíci

      How?

    • @jesuslovesus8054
      @jesuslovesus8054 Před 4 měsíci

      WOW.
      Happened to me!
      They are soooo sooo good at testing if you are the most perfect victim…
      Watch out!

    • @jesuslovesus8054
      @jesuslovesus8054 Před 4 měsíci +3

      @@Nina-ur3ldthey are so many ways! Firstly by seeing how easily you allow them to smash your boundaries.

  • @coryjackson6944
    @coryjackson6944 Před 4 měsíci +141

    I went out on a movie date with a guy and his card declined .. I paid for the movie 🎥 tickets, which he said he would pay back, and he paid for concessions..
    He never paid me back.. We are still cool to this day but I can never see him as a viable life partner 🙂
    So.. Play on player..

    • @enuphsayd9746
      @enuphsayd9746 Před 4 měsíci +2

      It happened to me

    • @tamarag9981
      @tamarag9981 Před 4 měsíci +3

      💯💯

    • @remarkable937
      @remarkable937 Před 4 měsíci +7

      This reminded me of when I had a first date with this guy and a man I work with said, "You know men always pay, it would be nice if once in a while the woman will offer to pay." So I thought I would do that and offer to pay our Applebee's bill. He said okay. 🤨. We never had another date. Guy at work was like, "He actually accepted!?!? Oh s**t"

    • @sweetcheeks5775
      @sweetcheeks5775 Před 3 měsíci

      @@carlyofearththat’s not even a friend. stupid she even stayed in contact with that loser.

  • @tashamack8701
    @tashamack8701 Před 4 měsíci +61

    That is why i am single mow. I don't have time for tests. Let's just sit down and talk and keep it real.

  • @Taisha12001
    @Taisha12001 Před 4 měsíci +49

    Games are for the immature. You want to know if someone is worth marrying, observe their behavior.

    • @Erica-cf1xb
      @Erica-cf1xb Před 4 měsíci +1

      You sometimes can't because they can make themselves invisible while watching you.

  • @sarablackwolfdancer9359
    @sarablackwolfdancer9359 Před 4 měsíci +63

    Dates are hard enough to navigate without games. If a man shows up in a car that’s not well taken care of, or worse is dirty inside and out, NO THANK YOU. 1) He’s not going to take care of me (not talking about money - washing and vacuuming your car isn’t that expensive y’all), and worse he probably is going to want me to support him. 2) that dirty car is going to get my carefully groomed ass dirty too. I’m not an expensive date, and if a guy is too cheap to take me to Applebee’s, he’s not for me. I can take myself there, tyvm.

    • @carolinekikudji9979
      @carolinekikudji9979 Před měsícem +2

      I am with u on that it’s not about money but how u present urself speaks a lot of u are and nah I am not getting in dirty car 🤮🤮😭😭😭

  • @nikkimonroe1982
    @nikkimonroe1982 Před 4 měsíci +70

    Men play to many games... but hate when women do..... its turly sad especially after 40

    • @leticiajackson2237
      @leticiajackson2237 Před 4 měsíci +3

      So true! My boyfriend did that and I did like it but I went along with it. I think he was trying to see what I would do in certain situations and he found out. Lol 😂

    • @leticiajackson2237
      @leticiajackson2237 Před 4 měsíci +1

      I meant to say I did not like it.

    • @cleothapeter909
      @cleothapeter909 Před 4 měsíci +1

      I'm sick & tired of men ..I'm tired of being hurt I'd rather be single

    • @888alp
      @888alp Před 3 měsíci

      😂

    • @bmatika41
      @bmatika41 Před 20 dny

      And that's when it gets worse (after 40)...smh

  • @mdavid7467
    @mdavid7467 Před 2 měsíci +12

    I always pass their test and they always fail mine by testing me. 😅

  • @M72398
    @M72398 Před 4 měsíci +30

    Never tell a man how much you make. I made more than my last ex…. And it made him feel inadequate and he constantly tested me. So stupid.

    • @Erica-cf1xb
      @Erica-cf1xb Před 4 měsíci +2

      You don't have to tell them. They can just use the backdoor of your phone and find out who and what's funding your lifestyle.

  • @Bluesmoke4200
    @Bluesmoke4200 Před 4 měsíci +119

    I do not need a man with an expensive car, but a man with a bummy car that he doesn't take care of screams to me that he doesn't take care of himself.

    • @amyitis
      @amyitis Před 4 měsíci +17

      Yup! You can have a 20 year old car, but do you upkeep it? Do you clean it often? How you take care of your things is a reflection of how you take care of yourself!

    • @alequintana1208
      @alequintana1208 Před 4 měsíci +1

      Doesn’t take care of anything rather

    • @TART111
      @TART111 Před 4 měsíci +8

      Or worse, a bummy car and a filthy house.

    • @teresai1877
      @teresai1877 Před 3 měsíci +1

      Yes, and he may even want you to take care of him.😬

    • @geministwin6074
      @geministwin6074 Před 2 měsíci

      Not always true....the man I'm crazy about doesn't have a flashy car but his home is layed out!!! 100 inch tv on the wall ..a sofa that sits about 15 ppl comfortably...$500 comforter on his king sized bed.... And he makes good money...he's clean...his home is clean...

  • @camillecooper1964
    @camillecooper1964 Před 4 měsíci +79

    I think men who do stuff like this are not ready for a relationship💯

    • @kiravampira1456
      @kiravampira1456 Před 4 měsíci

      And they're only interested in what they can get out of the woman. Seeing some *females* defending them is beyond infuriating, since they would've stopped a long time ago if no woman was enabling this.

    • @theorderofthebees7308
      @theorderofthebees7308 Před 3 měsíci +1

      I 100 percent agree

  • @debraglows
    @debraglows Před 4 měsíci +35

    Sometimes these tests do more harm than good. Because with some ladies, we have traumas and have trust issues. We judge to what we see. You telling us later on that you’re testing us only can be another lie. So many women end up walking away because we feel safer. Just come as you are. If one of us get hurt then okay. Its life. It’s dating. It’s the risk we took.

    • @Erica-cf1xb
      @Erica-cf1xb Před 4 měsíci +3

      Those shit test backfires. I love that part.

  • @KB-sg7tv
    @KB-sg7tv Před 4 měsíci +30

    Soon as a man tries to test me I’m GONE.

  • @m.h6858
    @m.h6858 Před 4 měsíci +90

    What happened to using discernment and taking people to the Lord for confirmation?🤷🏾‍♀️
    BE YOU!!!!!!🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

    • @thea7418
      @thea7418 Před 4 měsíci +5

      Amen🎉,Proverbs 3:5-6

    • @tjenks7650
      @tjenks7650 Před 4 měsíci +9

      That’s what I do… Jesus always come through with the tea ☕️ 😂

    • @m.h6858
      @m.h6858 Před 4 měsíci +2

      @@tjenks7650 And do! Lol!😂

    • @Erica-cf1xb
      @Erica-cf1xb Před 4 měsíci

      They rather ask a monkey.

    • @mariac6280
      @mariac6280 Před 4 měsíci +7

      God knows best for sure. I've experienced it.

  • @kiravampira1456
    @kiravampira1456 Před 4 měsíci +32

    "Curious" how much would *he* like if I showed up on the first date looking as if I was homeless, even though I usually look good enough to earn an income out of that. So I mAkE sUrE hE's nOt aFtEr mY lOoKs. Ridiculous in both cases. No one wants to be misleaded. As for the beyond annoying 50-50/"I forgot my wallet" tEsTs, that's why I never accept a date unless the gentleman *guarantees* that it would be his treat. Whoever tries such low-class things, no matter the reason, is too immature and selfish for me to bother with.

    • @urlmellow
      @urlmellow Před 4 měsíci +2

      Facts it’s that simple 💯

  • @tinabryan2502
    @tinabryan2502 Před 4 měsíci +45

    Game planning is for kids

  • @MommaARA
    @MommaARA Před 3 měsíci +6

    How a person treats you when you are sick is how they perceive you.
    How the treat you in your worst moment is the level of respect they have for you.
    Stop testing people. It's childish.

  • @HD-Australia
    @HD-Australia Před 2 měsíci +4

    If a man asks me on a date, then asks me to pay, there will NEVER be a follow up date as he has just demonstrated he is rude and stingy.
    Red Flag, Red Flag

  • @snopure
    @snopure Před 4 měsíci +43

    That wallet test could easily backfire. I believe in paying for the date if it's your idea, it's at your invitation; it's just good manners. So while I'd be prepared with my own wallet when I'd go on any date, and perhaps offer to contribute something, I would find it very concerning if my date goes, "Oops! Forgot the wallet!" (especially if it smells false), if the date had been HIS idea. It's a little rude, and it just shows he's ill-prepared, like our date wasn't really important to him so he took less care in prepping for it. Plus I'd wonder if he's just trying to lay the foundation to turn me into his sugar mama (wishful thinking on his part). I would not be his best fan. I'd be tempted to respond, "Fine, then next time, how about *I* choose where we go and *you* pay?", that is, if the situation doesn't tip the scale toward making me decline a second date if he asked.

    • @nelliebellie2222
      @nelliebellie2222 Před 4 měsíci +5

      Damn I wish I knew this earlier I was such a fool I cant believe I was a sugar mama all this time! Last year I realized that as a new person in the dating world that I was in a cycle where I used to pay all the time for dates. I was nice enough and I didnt mind showing that I was reliable not knowing that I was being tested and taken advantage of every single time. Every guy I paid for expected me to pay on the next date and thats when I had to draw the line and Im so glad I learned it sooner than later and Im never paying on the first date ever again!

    • @amandaforrester7636
      @amandaforrester7636 Před 4 měsíci +5

      Yes, if I have to pay, I'd see them as unpredictable and unprepared for a life and family.

    • @kiravampira1456
      @kiravampira1456 Před 4 měsíci +1

      It's *always* false. *No one* would actually forget their wallet if they intended to take it in the first place. No idea how do some women really fall for this excuse, as it was beyond obvious to me even as a primary school child, with zero dating experience.

    • @nelliebellie2222
      @nelliebellie2222 Před 4 měsíci

      @@kiravampira1456 😭😭

  • @emmanuellaumeh1266
    @emmanuellaumeh1266 Před 4 měsíci +12

    Don't let their need to test you make you less than your best self

  • @sacampbr1
    @sacampbr1 Před 4 měsíci +43

    Interesting clip….. I agree we need to just be ourselves and stop presenting our representatives. 🙏🏾

  • @yasminogbu8929
    @yasminogbu8929 Před 4 měsíci +11

    Ive had men talking about prenups, not knowing I have more money then them😂🤣 They probably won't ask for it if they knew

  • @letskpitreal6941
    @letskpitreal6941 Před 4 měsíci +41

    Thanks. I like the shorter videos. Why’s everyone so hurt and complicated. Just be yourself and if the person doesn’t like you cool or vice versa. We all live to have another date somewhere else with hopefully someone better This is why a lot of us good ones. Just opt to stay single. No games period.

    • @elsagrace3893
      @elsagrace3893 Před 4 měsíci +1

      Hurt feelings are because needs are unmet.

    • @Erica-cf1xb
      @Erica-cf1xb Před 4 měsíci

      To be yourself requires God. In this society everything is universal. Evil wants one gender. So if a man is feeling frisky...it's a good chance he is gonna enter in a different kind of player and like it.

    • @letskpitreal6941
      @letskpitreal6941 Před 3 měsíci

      @@elsagrace3893 I get it but move on. Rejection is Gods protection. If ppl learn to live themselves and God first. The pain won’t hit the same.

    • @letskpitreal6941
      @letskpitreal6941 Před 3 měsíci

      @@Erica-cf1xb much prayer needed for our society for sure. It’s insane.

  • @ashton1952
    @ashton1952 Před 4 měsíci +34

    I'll be honest that I do that with men; I have to know early on whether I'll be able to respect him or not, or whether he'll cling onto me or not. I don't want to waste my time or his, neither do I want to hurt someone a few months down the line. You watch carefully how they react in certain situations, and how they react when you say something that might catch them off guard. Like if they compromise themselves to impress me, or bend with their principles because they're worried too much about my reaction, well that'll put me off. If he'll protect me, if he's genuine or using... Finding man who stays true and strong is important. These kind of things they're not going to sit down and explain in a conversation because a lot of it is subconscious and I find that more truthful because any deciever can plan what to say to charm a woman. So I'm sure men will do the same with us.

    • @jayc5756
      @jayc5756 Před 4 měsíci +2

      EXACTLY. Thank You Sis! You get it. 💜

    • @jayc5756
      @jayc5756 Před 4 měsíci +2

      You know how to vet men good. I Love It!

    • @Sunlightsam24
      @Sunlightsam24 Před 4 měsíci +2

      Excellent approach and agree!

    • @nhodd1
      @nhodd1 Před 4 měsíci +2

      Thanks for this. Us women test men too.

  • @Tnc874
    @Tnc874 Před 4 měsíci +52

    Look, i dont even bring my wallet to a date so if he forgets his card then we washing dishes.... period

  • @cassandragrayes6149
    @cassandragrayes6149 Před 4 měsíci +11

    I was tested after a week of dating a guy who waited for me to put gas in my car after we drove my car to go on a date. He wanted to “test” me to see if I was using him. I should’ve left then

    • @fa9183
      @fa9183 Před 3 měsíci +5

      Driving your car was already a red flag

    • @passionfruitpassionfruit2034
      @passionfruitpassionfruit2034 Před 2 měsíci

      Yeah I did that once on blind date first red flag was I had to pick him up. I was sooo naive. No connection but we still talk as friends no romantic connection. Also the woman has to like the men more.

    • @bmatika41
      @bmatika41 Před 20 dny

      Jus sad!

  • @Rachelle-qs5ge
    @Rachelle-qs5ge Před 4 měsíci +7

    False pretense leads to a real mess.

  • @128cherylmarie
    @128cherylmarie Před 4 měsíci +3

    I love how you are so full of integrity and honesty about painting the right picture and not Peyton the wrong picture and trying too hard to test a woman's value if she's into money or not or a gold digger. I love how you're up straight up front and total New York about everything. That's the way the New York people are East Coast and also Midwest give it to me straight. That's true love. Thank you and love your CZcams videos. Keep a relationship balanced and real and truthful that's how you get down to it

  • @GodsIsrael
    @GodsIsrael Před 4 měsíci +10

    It is NEVER EVER ok to deceive anyone, end of. It's so shallow. A man or woman who feels the need to " test" is obviously incapable of using discernment. Listen to their words. They wil tell you who they are!

    • @NkeciBlake
      @NkeciBlake Před 4 měsíci +3

      Watch their actions and listen to their words. If the two don't match, believe what they do, not what they say.

  • @dawnh8254
    @dawnh8254 Před 2 měsíci +3

    He’s 100% with this.
    If my date showed up with a beat up car, I would automatically feel burdened because I’d be thinking… this guy must not be too successful across the board, with educating himself, pushing himself to do better in life and/or managing his money well.
    I’m already pushing myself as much as possible, God, please tell me I don’t need to take on his burdens too.
    Men are very quick how they feel about a woman. Women do the same.

  • @SunSoul212
    @SunSoul212 Před 3 měsíci +5

    I think testing for compatibility is fine. I mean getting to know someone is technically testing. They call it testing the waters. But the tests to see if I have low boundaries to take advantage of me/make me jealous shows me you have no self agency or self control and are a selfish human being and I get disgusted and turned off. And annoyed feel betrayed at my time being wasted. I don’t like people who mistreat others because “they let me do it” you’re just a bully. A person of character would never do certain things even if someone had low self esteem and was used to the treatment.

  • @yvettakollega5791
    @yvettakollega5791 Před 4 měsíci +14

    I wouldn't go out with a man who expects me to pay on a date. If he has no money and he loves ME then he can find some cheap activities for us to do.

    • @fa9183
      @fa9183 Před 3 měsíci +1

      Yeah. They'd never ask their dream woman to split the bill.

  • @michellegirau8136
    @michellegirau8136 Před 4 měsíci +6

    The testing usually just upsets the other person. When i was in high school my bf wanted to get married when he go back from his trainings. He did a series of tests an the last test just pissed me off he wasnt spending much time with me and hen i went to the lake with all of his friends but he wasn't there because he was seeing if i would cheat on him. This caused me to leave him.

    • @Erica-cf1xb
      @Erica-cf1xb Před 4 měsíci

      He is used to monkey meat. She would of started twerking just because it funny. You did just right.

  • @kristabland1657
    @kristabland1657 Před 4 měsíci +28

    I'd like to point out that he quantifies this with MEN and WIFE. Stephan is not talking about those biologically adult males who text women to troll for nudes, chasing after women for a quick ego boost, and mirror the "I'm looking for a relationship" sentiment to hook women into bed and then immediately ghost them after sex. These are not the kind of men that Stephan is addressing here.
    Quality men who want to commit to a woman have every right to test and verify her true character before he confirms his decision. They're willing to look past the superficial aspects of who this woman presents to see the real person that exists underneath. This is something that I deeply respect and I even welcome the challenge of having the right kind of man test me.
    I will also mention that I myself have tested men. It may not be in the same way and manner but I do so in order to verify the true character of a man before I decide to get further involved with him. It mostly revolves around his ability and willingness to communicate. I'm looking for things like how well does he listen, his ability to contribute productively to a conversation, and what he's really looking for when he's talking to me. Turns out, usually within 60-90 days, their true character is revealed. Those who presented themselves to me as burning hot turned out to be narcissistic, unavailable, manipulators, users, losers and abusers.

    • @jayc5756
      @jayc5756 Před 4 měsíci +1

      Super Facts!!! And yes, I do that Communication test too...cause Communication is Very Important to me in Any Relationship.
      But yes, thank you for understanding sis.

    • @MaggieCano-wu1ek
      @MaggieCano-wu1ek Před 4 měsíci +1

      Facts I test men too I want to know if this man the right one for me!

    • @chantelleparkinson2494
      @chantelleparkinson2494 Před 4 měsíci +6

      How do quality men test u? A quality man gets to know you and acts how he usually does, and naturally, the woman will act how she does genuinely! It's complete rubbish. Observe / take note, but to purposely test someone with intention is a no no....

    • @jayc5756
      @jayc5756 Před 4 měsíci

      @@chantelleparkinson2494 Both. We ask questions and get to know u too. But we may do 1 test. When I was dating regularly in my late 20s, I did that 1 test to see if she has potential to be in my life and I can open up my heart to them. 99% fail...which shows either 2 things to me...and either 1 I don't want...so either they remove themselves...or I do it for them. It is what it is.

  • @navmarroaming2292
    @navmarroaming2292 Před 4 měsíci +20

    Critiquing, testing, disciplining....no thanks. I am an adult.

  • @takishacade7531
    @takishacade7531 Před 3 měsíci +3

    I'm failing all those test, don't play with me....... and if I pass and find out it was a test, then goodbye!!!!

  • @nikkimonroe1982
    @nikkimonroe1982 Před 4 měsíci +10

    Im like this if i go somewhere and the guy "forgot" his wallet i would exzcuse myself and
    Pay for my food and leave.... he will get block it show u are a user and you trying to pay me... if u wanted to go dutch say that

  • @donicaschannel8220
    @donicaschannel8220 Před 4 měsíci +7

    Everyone need effective communication

  • @jwahine4603
    @jwahine4603 Před 4 měsíci +11

    If he says, i normally do 50/50. Pay for your own meal, and block him after.

  • @propheticintuitiondiscernm9541
    @propheticintuitiondiscernm9541 Před 3 měsíci +5

    & this goes BOTH ways....
    When in reality, we should all just be straight to the point, instead of asking stupid questions like, (what's your zodiac sign)🤦‍♀️
    & You are absolutely right about the women who appreciate the simple things in life versus the materialistic men who prefer money over love...
    You are absolutely correct, so thank you for seeing BOTH points of view!💖

  • @milaniaa.932
    @milaniaa.932 Před 4 měsíci +9

    I love when he is laughing 😅

  • @brendahutcherson4323
    @brendahutcherson4323 Před 4 měsíci +4

    If one doesn't want a man for material things and was told that in the beginning of the relationship and kept stressing that she didn't relationship where she doesn't need that to love him.Why can't a man just accept that all women are not the same and just wanted to be loved.Why is it that a man can not accept the fact that not all women are out to take from them and truly wants to be love and cared for, needed both emotionally and mentally.She was willing to help with whatever and love him to the fullest.

  • @JazzyJay263
    @JazzyJay263 Před 4 měsíci +2

    Thank you, Stephan, so on point!❤️💫💯

  • @shawanahickman6952
    @shawanahickman6952 Před 4 měsíci +22

    I don't like games did that done that. Go play with some kids I'm not the one

  • @r3mii619
    @r3mii619 Před 3 měsíci +2

    I stand by this. Testing people is one of the stupidest things you could do. Just talk it out, have a conversation and communicate. Be a damn Adult and communicate, better to practice it early on, it’ll make it easier to do when things get tough.
    Along with not doing those stupid test, just observe how the person interacts with and deals with other people, kids, family stuff like that. You can learn a lot about a person just from observing how they do things in life

  • @jennhawkins5356
    @jennhawkins5356 Před 4 měsíci +40

    I don’t blame him. Especially, if he’s been in a rough relationship before or marriage. You grow wiser over the years. If the guy has kids, etc, it’s important for him to know who you are!

  • @JanetTuttle-cb3xx
    @JanetTuttle-cb3xx Před 4 měsíci +11

    I have no use for someone playing games, I dont care about someones money, I pay my own way and make it clear from the beginning for that very reason. I iam who I am, I want someone who feels the same. Very good points. There are so many red flags but the more I watch your videos the more confident I am getting at seeing them and seeing sooner if they are not on the sàme page.

  • @Natalia-nx2bq
    @Natalia-nx2bq Před 4 měsíci +5

    If the man is stingy Run! How do those men expect to create a family?

  • @msintutive8694
    @msintutive8694 Před měsícem +1

    You still amaze me with your content after these few years. Man,your truly unique. 🙏🏽🥰🔥🔥🔥🔥

  • @ayishaablake4397
    @ayishaablake4397 Před 4 měsíci +1

    This was good! Can you go further on the topic and warning signs of men financially taking advantage of women. I believe that this has happened to me, and now I am trying to find all my receipts and other records for evidence.

  • @kkelsaw
    @kkelsaw Před 4 měsíci +2

    Great video...i believe these types of tests create opportunities for confirmation bias...when someone doesn't represent themselves honestly they will attract that type of person so they can confirm their belief. No wonder some ppl are out here dating jaded

  • @cherbear7773
    @cherbear7773 Před měsícem +1

    My husband never tested me. He trusts me and knows I'm a good woman ♀️

  • @neddalakhdarchaoche9232
    @neddalakhdarchaoche9232 Před 4 měsíci +1

    Hello Thank you for your great tips Have a great Thrusday.

  • @melissaayres6347
    @melissaayres6347 Před 4 měsíci +7

    I would say… if he comments he left his wallet at home… I would, say, “please excuse me while I go to the ladies room.” And leave him at the table!

  • @Handleitt1
    @Handleitt1 Před 4 měsíci +3

    Dude threw his opened iPhone on the couch and walked away thinking I didn’t notice the security camera in his home pointing at me

    • @fa9183
      @fa9183 Před 3 měsíci

      😮 what

  • @melluques8475
    @melluques8475 Před 4 měsíci +7

    Love me for whom I am🤔 He was not that man he presented himself🤷‍♀️

  • @donicaschannel8220
    @donicaschannel8220 Před 4 měsíci +5

    Communication is better!

  • @theorderofthebees7308
    @theorderofthebees7308 Před 3 měsíci +2

    The fact that folks think , they will have a second chance to play games . The audacity of it all . These games lead to nada .

  • @shantakoa8596
    @shantakoa8596 Před 4 měsíci +1

    Great information ❤its the red shirt for me so handsome in red

  • @pamelaseegars3970
    @pamelaseegars3970 Před 4 měsíci

    Thank You for Sharing

  • @jjjackson5183
    @jjjackson5183 Před 3 měsíci +1

    If a man shows up with a dying car, it says either 1) he has no money and doesn't have his act together or 2) he is possibly overly frugal which could be a problem. If he then talks all night like he's a big success, she will think he is a BSer

  • @Handleitt1
    @Handleitt1 Před 4 měsíci +2

    Dude said some wild outlandish verbally abusive bullshit disguised in full sarcasm with a psycho crazy giant smile! Wtf was I supposed to do argue with Mr big muscles? I ghosted later.

  • @cynthiamurray9421
    @cynthiamurray9421 Před 2 měsíci +1

    Testing is a bad idea, just talk to a person. That's exactly why I don't date, no games for me. I don't want money! Most people just want companionship, friend etc.

  • @lisasmith75775
    @lisasmith75775 Před 4 měsíci +2

    See I don't play games at all, at all!! Who I am I truly am, it's just most people or men either never really took the time to get to know me, didn't really pay attention to me but just what they felt I could do for them or give them, and or they didn't care enough to sit down and talk with me about real issues because they did not want to deal with me because I was still in pain from other relationships and I was still struggling in the way to respond to others and to heal, since the pain was so great and the healing on my own was so slow until God recently stepped into the process.

  • @cynthiahopper2025
    @cynthiahopper2025 Před 2 měsíci

    Great video 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼❤️💯

  • @Trinitytruth7
    @Trinitytruth7 Před 4 měsíci +1

    Thanks!

  • @AnnaLauraMigliorati
    @AnnaLauraMigliorati Před 3 měsíci

    Thanks, I totally agree on the car example. I don't like if a man comes with a dirty car for example...It shows me he doesn't care. And for the second example about the man that "forgot" the wallet...well, I ended up in a relationship where I was paying most of the time. It's a no no for me now. 😅

  • @user-xf1qf1zn2r
    @user-xf1qf1zn2r Před 3 měsíci +1

    That’s why I never go to a date empty handed because it’s unpredictable. And I can pay for your meal but if I do you’ll never hear from me again not just because I’ve paid for it but also because things that are important to us we get fully prepared for them

  • @sarahblasdell5261
    @sarahblasdell5261 Před 4 měsíci +31

    We all test each other.

    • @888alp
      @888alp Před 3 měsíci

      @@carlyofearth Well said !

  • @womaninthebasement
    @womaninthebasement Před 4 měsíci +18

    My ex husband is that engineer. Makes great money but refuses to invest in his home or car and assumes women that expect more are out for his money.
    This is just a display of inauthenticity to a real woman seeking authenticity. It’s the perfect place for a woman that knows how to run that game though. Women already know men with a lot of money don’t spend it until we get close enough. They have a few years to invest for that and they will.
    That’s how men like this set themselves up for failure. Be authentic or don’t be surprised when you meet your manipulative match. Don’t attract that up front, there’s no need for self-sabotage in dating.

  • @victoriariggs8643
    @victoriariggs8643 Před 4 měsíci +7

    ✨ That is great insight into who I am and what I like.
    Down to earth and also enjoy the finer things in life.
    I would have to say one of your predominant Love Languages is giving gifts.
    The balance in that is her predominant Love Language as well.
    Something to consider so you don't miss out on your Destined Princess.
    ✨💖✨🔥✨💖✨

  • @93morganmarie
    @93morganmarie Před 4 měsíci +2

    I know someone who gave a man $1,000 when they first met and now he pays a bill for her but I was thinking exactly what you said. He basically took out a loan to pay her back or act like he's doing something nice for her but it's technically her money. SMH

  • @lisasmith75775
    @lisasmith75775 Před 4 měsíci +2

    We are on the same page about the games and men pretending to be what they aren't to test a woman, I understand the reason of wanting to test to make sure you are making a good decision for yourself, but the games show you differently than who you truly are, and to a truthful woman you will come across as untruthful and untrustworthy, and can lose her because of it, and or change her feelings towards you , and therefore may lose her love and respect for you because of it.

  • @lisadee.
    @lisadee. Před 4 měsíci +2

    Test/Facade/Lies; why can't a man just know that he is worthy and worthy of love instead of being under a guise of misrepresentation? Besides that, isn't the entire dating thing a platform to evaluate one another on the basis of getting to know the person to decide whether to proceed or disengage and rapidly disappear. On the other hand, it's foolish for me to not know that males do play that cat and mouse game, as hunters on the prowl and some are more obvious than others, which is why that women better have her shield up and God's discernment, because the quickest way to a women's heart, is through her ears. True That!❤😊
    This is another good one S! It cracks me up to hear you laugh. Keep doing you!

    • @tamarag9981
      @tamarag9981 Před 4 měsíci

      You know when it really gets interesting? When he is trying hard to protect his wallet and she is protecting her cookie. Lol.

  • @93morganmarie
    @93morganmarie Před 4 měsíci +1

    I agree because men and women alike, if you have a more "expensive" or flashy lifestyle than someone else it's usually fairly easy to determine. They often make comments. So faking to be someone else imo is unnecessary.

  • @Emptytopfloor
    @Emptytopfloor Před 4 měsíci +13

    What makes him a husband material though? Is he even qualified to test?

    • @kiravampira1456
      @kiravampira1456 Před 4 měsíci +7

      Isn't it ironic how they all *think* they're in the position to demand the best of the best women?

    • @leticiajackson2237
      @leticiajackson2237 Před 4 měsíci +2

      Exactly! I read mine right off the bat just by looking at his social media I knew he was a player. We had our ups and downs but he’s working to get me not the other way around. Rule #1 don’t give a man or tell a man everything. 2 be your authentic self and have boundaries. 😊

    • @tiffanyyisrael7989
      @tiffanyyisrael7989 Před 4 měsíci +1

      This is the one

    • @Erica-cf1xb
      @Erica-cf1xb Před 4 měsíci

      ​@kiravampira1456 alot are not. Most of the monkey meat is infected so there is good chance he may have germs that was picked up from "it clean daddy." That's alot of life sentences all at once.

  • @MaggieCano-wu1ek
    @MaggieCano-wu1ek Před 4 měsíci +4

    Yes it’s true I would test a man the same way because I’m not gonna tell someone everything just simple and ppl that are broke flock to ppl that have money just truth

  • @gloriagarris1574
    @gloriagarris1574 Před 4 měsíci +3

    That is so true. Yea, she might be a simple woman and feel uneasy and out of place in that situation. She probably don’t have what he has and don’t know if her simple clothes or way of living may not set well with him or his family. His way of life might even make her feel uncomfortable. She might even be a person who don’t like being in the spotlight 🙂.

  • @sandramatthew931
    @sandramatthew931 Před 4 měsíci +1

    To me, you both gotta be on the same frequency. If you’re not, you can talk all the days of your life, but if you’re not connected in one spirit one accord then forget it…..❤

  • @alexiusscott9880
    @alexiusscott9880 Před 3 měsíci +1

    Yea, if any of these things was done to me on the first dates, I’m going to react negatively. Regardless, if it’s a game or true life. So if you’re going to play games, purposely you’re going to miss out on a good woman purposely. if you show up to my house in an unreliable car and it’s not taken care of I’m going to assume that’s how you treat your material possessions. I don’t want to be with someone who’s not gonna treat his material possessions with respect and care.

  • @belindachebukwa2778
    @belindachebukwa2778 Před 4 měsíci +2

    He said hes committing then went ghost not responding to my texts..when I got pissed with the behaviour and confronted him he had the audacity to say it was a test😂..thats was how i left without looking back..I had given him alot of chances I just didn't tell him it was his last chance

    • @fa9183
      @fa9183 Před 3 měsíci

      Usually, when men ghost, you ghost aswell. Mirror their energy and watch them come crawling back.

  • @teresacryer5872
    @teresacryer5872 Před 4 měsíci +2

    I have NO PATIENCE for games. They set EVERYONE up for disappointment. It means they've LIED to you about who they are. Lying to me NEVER ends well.
    I raised my children that Lying was a Capital Crime in our home. If I can't trust you to tell the truth, you don't stay in my life for very long. It's a HARD boundary for me.

  • @jennhawkins5356
    @jennhawkins5356 Před 4 měsíci +9

    So…now that I’ve seen the video, I’ve gotta say, those type of tests are unnecessary and set the relationship for a lack of transparency. It’s deceptive. You can observe other things about her…is she kind to her waitress? Does she have a genuine smile? Does she dress modestly? Is her personality making you feel comfortable?
    I think it’s fair if a man tests how you’ll respond to his silence, figuring out if you’ll be respectful and give him space or if you’re disrespectful and clingy. There are other things to test.
    I agree with the other commenter who said a conversation should figure out the money thing. Ask how you feel about the cash system? What your ideal life is, etc.
    I had a man take me out on a date once and show up in a yellow Lamborghini and be over the top staring at me (I was like 20 and the dude was like 35), and he told me he was “just admiring the beauty”. At that point in my life I just thought this man must be used to taking women back to his house as using them…and not only did his comments and wealth make me uncomfortable (money can’t buy everything), but he made me want to throw up in my mouth by trying to smooth talk me like that. 🤷‍♀️

    • @jayc5756
      @jayc5756 Před 4 měsíci +1

      I read that 1st paragraph and I laughed super hard. Ma, do you even vet guys properly?? You wouldn't know their true character by just a smile or whatever. We are looking for Good People...Not Nice People. Nice is an Act. We are looking for Who You Are at Your Core. Period!
      But do whatever fits you.

    • @leticiajackson2237
      @leticiajackson2237 Před 4 měsíci

      😂😂

  • @worldadventuretravel
    @worldadventuretravel Před 16 dny

    Testing women is B.S. I hate manipulative behavior, no matter the justification. If a man starts testing me, I will never trust or respect him again. Ergo, he's testing means he's violating my boundaries, which means I'm out. A real man can communicate directly and use his words like an adult to find out what he wants to know.

  • @queenshipt7555
    @queenshipt7555 Před 3 měsíci

    May there be a link to the full video?

  • @rachelj3933
    @rachelj3933 Před 4 měsíci +2

    Do not ever start out by setting bad precedents - or ones you don't intend on keeping - with him because he will hold you to them for the duration of the relationship. If you do, then you won't ever have a legitimate right to complain let alone expect him to get right.

  • @crystalstrong268
    @crystalstrong268 Před 4 měsíci

    Thank you 😊

  • @pryscyllahorn72
    @pryscyllahorn72 Před 3 měsíci +1

    No way I would go for another date with a guy like this.
    If I can show up well and make a effort I would expect the same, if he doesn’t dress well, come in clean car and pays for a date how can I later on expect someone who can take care of himself + emotionally support a women and a household. I would never play games and I would expect the same.
    So many different ways to see if someone really likes you x

  • @sademamii6922
    @sademamii6922 Před 4 měsíci +2

    how do you let a man know u want to be taken care of but not it being about money ?

  • @PersisP
    @PersisP Před 3 měsíci

    I get it up to the point that you are at least safe, for the rest only time and descernement will tell. just dont get too invested before you know them and be ready to walk away no matter the attraction