Bridgerton Gets Therapized - Penelope, Colin and Debling
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- Äas pĆidĂĄn 20. 07. 2024
- Who's a better match for Penelope? What are your thoughts on this storyline? Let us know in the comments!
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00:00 Intro
00:25 Balancing heart and head
01:35 Lord Debling Supercut
04:53 Real Love
06:41 Why I like Lord Debling
08:10 Colin makes his move
12:34 What's beautiful about this
13:56 What are your thoughts?
#mendedlight #jonathandecker #bridgerton
One of my favorite moments is watching Colin accept Penelopeâs implied ânoâ when she says, âColin, weâre friendsâ. Such a beautiful example of handling rejection with grace and respect. No arguing, no pressure, no lashing out. Just a moment of crushing disappointment and disbelief, and then, âOf course. Forgive me. I donât know what I was thinking.â
Massive green flag
@@mecohano Colin is a walking green flag to me - best partner so far imo
@@rubysmolen5155 No question. Such the best egg.
That man is the greenest of all the green flags!
It canât get no better than him!!!!â€
The fact that Jonathan loves Colin and Pen makes me so happy â€
Hopefully he loves thenm in part 2, I am scared đđ
@@ru3144 Me too, but I have faith in Jono. I think he understands Colin. Though Pen is objectively in the wrong but I know he'll also get where she's coming from as well.
What i love the most about Penelope and Colin is exactly that, their bond as friends. It has a lasting quality to it. I also love how Colin always seeks for her consent, seeks to see how she feels.
I hope you get to therapize Cressida Cowper. I think it was society who molded her into a villain. All she did was due to her familyâs toxic upbringing, and ultimately out of desperation to get out of a bad situation. While I donât excuse her past actions, I think it was only because her mind was programmed to act in that way growing up and the antagonistic values were deeply embedded in her by her toxic family and by society in general.
I was disappointed in Eloise for abandoning Cressida. Cressida was truly in a very difficult position, and Eloise should have been wroth that her friend was being forced into an abusive marriage
â@@chocolate11193 Its what she do. Did the same to Penelope đ
@@chocolate11193 I was hoping Eloise would ask help from her family to offer Cressida protection. Colin shouldâve went to the Cowpers and offered Cressida some kind of plan to help her instead of giving her that speech and saying that a familyâs love is enduring because nobody has any idea how truly vile her family is.
She seems inspired by Miss BingleyâŠ
Yes please! I really loved getting to see inside Cressida's life, as we know historically this was a far more common situation than happy marriages. Even Lady Danbury had this experience in marriage rather than a happy love-match. I actually want to see Cressida end up happy in some way, but how? One (who has not read any of the books) can only wonder!
I like Lord Debling: He took the rejection like a true gentleman.
I love how in the carriage scene, Colin has no idea she feels the same. He just puts himself and his feelings out there, and when he thinks she's rejecting him, he immediately backs off and respects her boundaries. He considers trying to convince her but decides not to, and apologizes (for making her uncomfortable, possibly). He would have gotten out of that carraige and walked home if she wanted him to.
I REALLY liked it when Debling said "I didn't ask if it was a possibility, I asked if you would like it be" because it shows that Debling really respects Pen & that he is capable of trusting her. In Colin's defense, yes he did interrupt their dance, angered Debling, and put Pen's proposal in jeopardy but that question centers around HER feelings (similar to when women say "I am not interested" when rejecting someone vs saying "I have a bf", assuming of course there's no immediate danger). So for Debling, even if Colin WERE to have feelings, if Pen doesn't reciprocate, then he can trust her to turn him down & not cheat. Ultimately, what ruined the proposal wasn't Colin, but Pen not being able to lie about having feelings for Colin. Debling is a GREAT & honest man, and I really do like it when there's a love triangle and nobody has to be a bad guy for them to not be chosen. Here, it's simply that Pen wants love and she's still in love with Colin.
I do think Polin is a very healthy & loving relationship but as Jonathan will see later, they are still flawed characters living in a society that is extremely judgemental & restrictive. This something that I think people need to remember ALSO applies to Colin, who deep down is much more different than his brothers, not just Pen.
I really liked Lord Debling. He helped and made space for Penelope to value her true self. Glad she had that chance before getting swept up into a well deserved love match â€
In those days romantic love was never factored into the relationship. I like lord Debling, but he really didnât love Penelope. She wanted love. With Colin she had a head and a heart match!
I wouldn't say never, just it was a secondary thought after logical good matches etc.. So much of the time people would like each other well enough but not really be super in love or passionate and just over years of marriage build a deep love for one another. Like I think Fiddler on the Roof shows this. (Not that that's set this far in the past.) Other times you'd marry your childhood sweetheart or whoever and it'd be a decent pairing so people would let it happen. Maybe the occasional elopement. That's part of what Jane Austen did in her books, she'd show marriages to these rich men that the main characters were in love with and it would be aspirational, sure, but not unheard of. The financially OK girl would sometimes marry the super rich guy and sometimes they would be in love. She also showed (usually in the side characters) other matches that were good practically but often less full of love (some of the loveless elopements, some of the loveless practical marriages, etc.). So the practical aspects of a marriage were generally prioritized but love was certainly not absent from the whole affair.
Video idea: ongoing & enthusiastic consent on the example of Polin.
After a disastrous marital r*pe plot point in season 1 (that has not been addressed properly afterwards, and Simon trauma never acknowledged) the show actually did something right this time: it showed us a couple that is constantly asking permission and checking up with one another. It was so refreshing to see.
YES! I loved that so much.
True. It was beautiful to see.
Thank you for bringing it up. I see so many people in the fandom hating on season 3, saying that season 1 was the best... which I find horrifying.
@@constancep7632 Well, there was a lot wrong with this season, but Pen and Colin and their relationship was not part of the problem. Actually, if we got more of them and less of the other stuff, the season would have been so much better.
YES! That is an awesome idea! đ€©
I love Colin and Penelope's relationship- for me it is the longest lasting and strongest most realistic (to an extent) relationship Bridgeton has given us. They have been best friends since they were kids and have been unconventionally courting for the past 2 seasons. This was the first season where I actually bought the relationship- that colin and Penelope were in love with each other. The consistent consent between both of them, and the way they communicate with each other, and continued to communicate and support each other even when they were not in a good place in their relationship was done so well and in away that felt believable and helped them come across atleasrt to me like a real couple
Call me strange but I absolutely loved Debling. He was so different from other men in the show, so fresh, honest, clever, interesting, calm. I do hope we will see more of him and that he will find his true love đ„°
He doesnât want love though and thatâs his downfall. He isnât actually offering anything emotionally in a partnership. He wants someone to sit and tend his estate, he isnât offering any romantic fulfilment but wants them to have eyes only for him. Ironically, he would have been a great fit for Cressida because all she wants is freedom and security away from her family
Yes! Debling was the most interesting part in this season, to me personally. So many of the characters seemed so silly in this season.
â@meinkanta while Debling may not be offering a love match, I'm sure he isn't looking for a cold hearted b*tch.
@@meinkanta I think love can work in mysterious ways. And he was truly interested in Penelope and hurt when realised her heart was taken. Love can grow from respect, friendship. Itâs like Lord Grawley said in Downton abbey he started loved his wife when she was pregnant with his second child, if I am not mistaken))) it was quite common. It will be interesting to see this type of love in the show not the same passions from all crackđđ
That's why he should've married Cressida.
Bridgerton is a hit and miss with me, so i was surprised by how much i liked this season. Penelope and Colin are so interesting to me and i loved them together. And their feelings, insecurities is something i liked that it was explored.
I was Penelope a few months ago. I asked my male friend if I should date again (I'm divorced), a way to check if he had feelings for me because I had feelings for him. He gave me his blessing and wished me luck đ Fast forward and I'm about to go on a date with this guy I've been in contact with for weeks and who makes me excited, my friend tells me he has feelings for me too and he didn't realize until I started dating again. We have been together since then and we are very happy.
I too married my best friend after long time being friends.
Why. Oh why. Does it take that for most men? My 2 great loves of my life both ended up with that same situation. Do they just never feel their feelings?
Everything Colin did in episode 4 was initiated from a single moment in episode 3. During the ballroom scene at the end of episode 3 Colin is asked by one of his admirers about the balloon incident. Her question was âwhere ever did you find such courage?â As she is asking Colin the question, Penelope catches his eyes (as she always does) and he states âCourage is within us all, as long as we are honest with ourselves and about our feelings.â As he speaks he is transfixed on Penelope and he is talking more to himself then the ladies surrounding him, or even Pen herself. He is talking about being honest with himself about his incredible love for Pen. Penelope hears everything he is saying, but because of her low self-esteem she has no idea that he is talking to himself about his feelings for her. Pen pauses in a moment of contemplation, makes a decision, nods to herself, and in so doing choice to give up on Colin, and then turns her back on him and towards Lord Debling in a literal and symbolic effort to close the door on any hope of her and Colin. That moment was heartbreaking to me and I felt anger and sadness in equal measure. All of his angst, rudeness, and brooding during episode 4 stems from her turning away from him and his depression simply deepens until he decides he has nothing to lose and goes to the ball to talk Pen out of marrying Lord Debling. There are key moments in life that define who you become and what life you end up with for yourself. Colin running after Pen was him final finding the courage to put himself out there to get rejected or not. Fear is what stops most of us from living the life we wish we had. Colin stepping up made me proud of his character at that moment.
Wow. You blew my mind with this. Very true. Thank you for broadening my perspective regarding Colin's feelings for my beloved Penelope.
Colin and Penelope are so adorable together
I like Debling but Penelope wanted love and Colin loves her. And i like Colin more too. Lol
Honestly I think if you could mix universes Debling would have been better suited to Charlotte Lucas from Pride and Prejudice. Neither one terribly romantic very much practical, she had her own interests and all she really wanted was to run her own household. I think she'd have been much happier than with Mr Colin's.
Re Penelope and Colin I do think they are an ideal match, they both struggle with insecurities, they both have similar interest and they both know and love each other on a deep level. Yes they have issues insecurities and secrets to deal with still, often brought about by trauma from their past, but once dealt with they can finally realise their love is true and lasting based on truly knowing each other.
Would love to hear what you might think of a video called "Colin Bridgerton Character Analysis" It really delves into who Colin is and why. And his journey to knowing fully himself and Penelope.
Yup totally agree about Charlotte Lucas and Debling!! I did love the Colin character analysis... Pointed out several things I didn't think about. I think that's one of the things I really love about Polin is bcoz they've been friends for so long and know each other so well. Both have insecurities which the other helps to balance out or counteract along with similar senses of humor. I have always enjoyed the fact that they make each other laugh as much as they do. When the carriage stops in from if Bridgeton house and Colin says what he does, Penelope starts to laugh and he joins in. That scene wouldn't've been complete without it.
@@TammiTuthill Totally agree. Yes the fact that they share the same sense of humour is such a big thing. Plus they both love both speaking and listening to each other. It really is the after affects of other people's poor friends that have caused them not to trust their feelings for each other, but they tackle them ultimately head on even when they're angry and struggling and also really listen to each other then too.
Definitely my favourite couple of the ones I've seen.
I've kept a tab open to that character analysis and watched it a few times. Incredible insight into Colin, his motivations and his insecurities, it's a great watch! The channel is Sammy Bates.
Charlotte Lucas and Debling! I'm so onboard! đđ»
That would leave Mr. Collins with Mary. Another Benet-sister married! â€ïž
I really like Lord Debling, but I feel like he's going to have a very hard time finding a wife that is genuinely satisfied with having him away for years at a time and won't have a wandering eye, but is still happy to see him (and bed him) when he's back. That has to be incredibly rare. I think he'd have better luck finding an eccentric woman who loves animals and traveling and would go with him on his journey.
I'd take such a man in a heartbeat; to have the security of a grand estate, privacy from your toxic family, and the option to either live a private life (like Lady Danbury) or adventure with your handsome husband?! Dream life!
I donât know; I think Cressida could have been a good match for him. She wasnât looking for love either - she just wanted to be away from London and taken care of. Debling would have been good to her and treated her well, which is more than she could say about her parents. And she probably wouldnât have minded if he was away for extended periods of time. And in regards to fidelity, while I can see Cressida looking elsewhere for companionship or friendship, since we never actually see her being sexually seductive (manipulative, yes. Seductive, no), I donât know that sheâd be the type to be unfaithful.
I like Lord Debling. He was a great match for Pen. The story never would have worked if he wasn't a great match. I loved Colin's panicked face when he thought Pen was friendzoning him đ. After all the times he did it to her. I think Colin was oblivious to her feelings for him because his brothers told him love was like a thunderbolt. Colin himself tells us how he feels for Pen in season 2. He says something about "our friendship has developed quite naturally over the years," which is not a thunderbolt. Once she left him on read all summer, then she started to ignore him for other men he started to get jealous. Colin always asks about her chaperone, yet he completely ignores making sure she is chaperoned around him. He can not fathom anyone thinking he would be inappropriate with her. I also love the modern music they use. Yellow was the perfect song for their wedding. I also love how the kiss activated Chaos Colin. It was fun to watch. This was by far my favorite season. Polin 4ever â€â€â€
my favorite season too
Mine too â€đ
I will never forgive the writers for not making Debling a serious love match contender for Pen. His character was almost perfect, and I wish theyâd written him to put Colinâs feet to the fire and make Penelopeâs decision HARD. Not only do I think that wouldâve made a better story, but their chemistry and repartee was profound. And he had SO many green flags. The emotional withholding was such a disappointment.
Yeah I was swooning hard for Debling. I think it was lazy writing that he was only looking for a wife so that he'd have someone at home minding his estate - that's what a steward is for. And maybe I'm reading too much into it, but I'm sick of the stereotype that people who are interested in science don't value human relationships.
@@earthaforester3141 preach!!
The other thing that no one ever talks about with Debling vs Colin is how alone Penelope wouldâve been if sheâd married Debling. She wants to marry in part to escape her own family, this is before they finally learn to support one another, we know Debling doesnât get along with his family so she wouldnât have in-laws to be around, and her friendship with Colin wouldnât be appropriate after she was engaged and married, so sheâd have no one while Debling was travelling.
With Colin, she not only gets a love match, she also gets the Bridgerton family. Sheâs a part of a family she always dreamed of being a part of, I love how she phrases it in the study, the family youâve been so kind as to share with me. With Colin her life is so full of love, in so many different ways.
This. Pen may often be alone, but she thrives on being a part of the action. It has taken so much for her to even get to the point of wanting to leave, despite the poor treatment from her family. She would wither away on Debling's estates.
This
Her life is so full of love. She also got her best friend back and even healed her relationship with her family
The bridgerton had been a family to her ever since she knew them and now she gets to be a real bridgerton! You could see how happy they were over their engagement.
She wouldâve been unbelievably lonely with deblin. I did not like him as a match for her at all although I liked the jealousy that my boy felt in all those scenes hahaha â€
The best match for Debling is someone looking for a lavender marriage. đ
I like Lord Debling, but his view on love, that it's finite and his work takes up all the space available, makes me very sad. One can love multiple people and things at once in so many different ways.
What are your thoughts on when Colin learns about the Lady Whistledown secret, and how he navigates it with Penelope? This could be an interesting thing to discuss. :)
Funny after hearing colin talk last season pen gave up on pining for this man. There was no hope so you might as well go for a practical match that treats you better than colin. But the moment she didn't think anything of it her actions kinda seduced him. She didn't intend to but her actions kinda had an effect.
* he took her for granted for years but her basically gh^sting him all summer made him value what he had, cause he can lose it. The lose of pen made him put on the emotion arm*ur, cause it hurt him deeply. But still colin didn't realise why that hurt him so.
* her expressing her anger towards him was her setting a bound*ry. She deserves to be treated with respect and his actions last season weren't ok. Pen lets everyone treat her badly but with colin she set a bound*ry. You see him start to think of her wellbeing. What does she want and how can I redeem myself? Guess what pen isn't an object but an actual person with feeling. Who knew?!
* him having front row seats watching her date. Surprise she is a girl, who knew?! And seeing other men show an interest in her. These men are about to take away his pen for good. Made him feel a little territorial. He didn't like that feeling but still didn't realise why.
* the kiss on the other hand. Well those are horm*nes and pretty hard to ignore. He tried to stick his head in the sand by going to the professionals and get pen out of his head. Thinking the cause is physical instead of emotional. But with the professionals he couldn't do anything cause it just felt wrong. He couldn't even look at other women anymore. Whoops. He is still trying to feel less though. Insecure about what he should do and if he should wreck his friendship.
* but violet knows her boy. She basically told him, its wrecked either way. Do nothing and she will marry debling and you will lose her tonight. So if you like her, step up or move to the side and let debling marry her.
That is how you get out of the friendzone. Also colin man-ed up this season. I won't spoil part 2 but you can clearly see a divide between part 1 and 2, boy and man. His thought process is totally different. đđ
Absolutely đ but â€
I actually liked Lord Debling and it was great to Penelope be courted and appreciated. I also loved seeing Colin jealous and tortured for a bit. However, Debling was not right for Penelope and thatâs okay because she got her love match and security as Mama Featherington says. Colin and Pen are my favorite. I canât wait to see you take on Part 2
I really did like Debling, but itâs like you said he was not a love match. It was a practical match that they both thought would work out in their favor at that time. But ultimately Colin and Pen are the true love match. Wishing all the best for Debling though, hope he is able to find someone to attend to his estate and let him backpack across Europe on his travelsđ
I admit I'm a little confused as to why Debling wants to marry at all. He's not interested in romance, and he's a man so doesn't need to marry for money. He wants to travel on his own so it's not even a matter of loneliness or companionship. Did I miss something in the show?
@@360shadowmoon i believe that in all honesty he was looking for someone to take over the duties of his estate or his home since he was going to be leaving for a really long time. Even though his timing wasnât the best I think he figured that he would try to find a wife before he left for his trip, and like any man in society I think he did genuinely have good intentions and tried to find a suitable wife despite him leaving. Someone that would be able to have their own interests, which led him to Penelope! But yeah I agree I donât think he was seeking a love match, but he did genuinely like Penelope as a persons But yeah it was sad that when she asked him if love could grow he basically said nođ but at least he was honest lmao
@@360shadowmoonheâs a lord which implies that heâs a first born son so probably also wants to marry to produce an heir and continue his family line. I donât know that heâd be interested in being a father since it sounds like he wants to travel a lot, and heâs more practical than emotionally driven, but likely understands that he need to produce an heir who can take over when he passes. He mentions his family and not getting along with them but itâs unclear whether he has any other brothers who could take over the estate should he pass without an heir.
Or⊠he just not into women, but needs a cover and an heir.
We all like Lord Debling, and we're hoping he'll meet someone soon he'll be happy with.
Penelope and Colin are perfect for each other so i couldn't really care about Lord Debling. He is a nice guy, though.
There's a poem called The Nantucket Girl's Song I have always loved. I really appreciate that Lord Debling wasn't turned into a stock villain just to make Colin look good. He offered something of value just as much as Colin did and it just wasn't what Pen needed. I think the story was better for not belittling her options.
Pen's options weren't the weak characters her sisters married. Both suitors were smart, wealthy and handsome.
Doctor can we examine the effects of emotional abuse on Penelope? So often when Colin says he loves she asks are you sure? This has to be trauma based
She also takes compliments as backhanded comments. Marina and Edwina (& probably others) both compliment her and it comes from genuine kindness and honesty but she doesn't believe that they actually mean it and aren't secretly laughing at her.
@@brighidmcmullen9577 Great point. That has to be examined
I don't think guys think about it, that pause...if she's as lost in your eyes as she is in yours, and a witness has to ahem at you to bring you both back to the rest of the world, and she slow blinks at you while smiling... you at least know it's time to ask her out. It's the pause that gives her the room to choose to see if you're compatable.
I love Polin and glad they ended up together. Friendship is the best way to build a relationship. â€
It was so hard for me to get into the Bridgerton world this season (maybe because of the costumes??)⊠I kept thinking for a woman in that era, Debbling really is an ideal match. I know Bridgerton has created a fantasy world where love matches were more attainable and desirable, but given the complete lack of rights women had within marriage, heâs offering essentially freedom. Pen ended up with a choice between two ideals in the Bridgerton world, but realistically Colin could at any time make Pen stop writing since she would be his property. But Debbling would be out of town for years without knowing or even caring while Pen ran the estate and her business.
Margarita Life is my go-to fan editor for various fandoms. Her work is superb.
I havenât watched any of MLâs videos yet, but subscribed on the strength of this video and your comment alone!
I can't wait for you to watch and go over part, but there is so much to discuss and therapize with Polin and Pen/Eloise.
I love how the fireplace behind Jono makes it look like he has wings. In many ways, he is an angel.
At the beginning when Penelope meets Deblin it really looks like they're gonna be a fine match, especially because he made her feel seen for the first time, which was great for her self steem and also made Colin wake up đ but in the long term I believe it wouldn't work. Honestly, I think she would have married him anyway just to get rid of her family but she'd never be satisfied, wishing for the love he couldn't give her. That being said, thank God Colin did something! They're alike in many ways (their passions, their personalities, their insecurities) and the friendship they have only makes their love stronger. They were just meant to be â€
The fact that Debling recognizes that and wants to ensure Pen's happiness is a testament to his integrity and character. Great writing; I hope we get to see Debling in future seasons.
@@piratefrenchey6222 for sure. But also I think he might be worried she would cheat on him while he was away
I adore Colin and Penelope! I think they have such a beatuiful, healthy relationship! And you can tell they just like spending time together which I think is the most important thing. Plus, their chemistry is crazy good! My favorite Bridgerton ship for sure!
Saaaaame I love them â€
First thank you for covering this triangle. I know Polin was endgame this season, but I actually liked Pen and Lord Debling as a better couple. Despite years if friendship, Colin in this season (to me) never say Pen in the same light as Lord Debling did. Lord Debling was interested in her passion for books while Colin called them "silly". And yes okay Lord Debling gave her a plant, but I saw that as him trying bring their two worlds (his of nature and her of books) together. And I think what people miss when asked about if Love could grow, Lord Debling didn't flat out say "No never", he said he wasn't sure. I believe there could be a slow burn love between Pen and Debling.
And if we remember back in season 2, Anthony was very much like that too. And I think it would be nice for change where Pen lets go of her crush/love and let herself move on and find a different kind of love. From my understanding one of the other Bridgerton siblings falls in love though written letters, the same could be true for Pen and Debling if they were given the chance in an AU timeline of the show.
That said I'm also glad they didn't make him secretly evil or anything, he just knew Pen's heart was elsewhere and accepted that like a gentleman.
Anyway great analysis for this video.
Of course, Colin didn't see Pen the same as Debling. He's known her basically their whole lives. He called Eloise's romance book silly because that's what Eloise would have called it. How she has always felt about romance and such things. Colin likes books and is literally also a writer and very clearly a romantic. And in fact the writing of letters between Pen and Colin is part of the reason he fell in love with her. You can see the way he looks at her when he's back and the way he talks about her letters. The fact that she didn't write to him that summer is the catalyst for everything. He completely lost himself because of it. That's why he came back with an entirely different personality trying to be someone completely different unaffected by such things. But it's rereading the letters she's sent him throughout the years (which were in his travel bag mind you, he's carried them everywhere with him) that he realizes he's loved the side of her that is LW all along. That she's always been the same and he's known that part of her already.
As for Debling it takes a year for him to get where he's going. It would take a year for the letter to get there and a another for it to get back. Also the voyage he's going on is famous for no one making back alive during those times. So not even letters would have saved the match of Pen and Debling.
Lord Debling was definitely a man who knew what he wanted didn't care what others thought and went for it no games. Penelope loved Colin too much to be happy with anyone else and he finally realized his feelings for Penelope and maned up.
I really liked Debling, and I think he and Pen would have been a good match. Sure, Colin is her true love, so I am of course happy they got together, but still. I think Debling and Pen could have made it work. Maybe not love, but at least deep and honest friendship.
But it also reminded me of Queen Charlottes line in, well đ, "Queen Charlotte", when she told her son before his wedding that love is something you can choose: "Love is determination. Love is a choice one makes. You take someone in marriage, and you choose to love them. You do not give yourself any other option."
I think both Pen and Debling would have been able and willing to do that.
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The music in the carriage scene was so absolutely gorgeous and perfect and fitting. I don't think this could have been done any better.
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"This is a much better version of Anakin's fireside speech to Padme." God, you are such a nerd! đđ„°
Debling's a good dude but Colin and Penelope are endgame for sure. I'm a huge Polin fan!
Pen and Colin are my roman empire. My choice is obvious. Lol Head and heart! That carriage scene is so hot, i still catch my breath watching it.
I love Polin (I'm a huge sucker for friends to lovers), but I wish we could have gotten a flashback of their first meeting instead of just hearing about it!
I loved that he narrated it because it showed how important pen was to him even if he didnât know his own feelingsâŠ
All the while we saw pen pine for him, so having him remember such a beautiful encounter warmed my heart
I wonder how Lord Debling would have reacted to learning she is Whistledown. While I want to like him more, he asks a great deal of the person he wants to marry. He should really be conducting interviews. He doesn't think he will fall in love; he will be away for years. I presume he wants an heir so he will be coming back to a woman he spends practically no time with the expectations she will go through the motions of sex to become pregnant. Will he give up his travels to see to the raising of his children? When he stops his explorations, he won't know his family at all. They would have created an entire life without him. He's not even a good match for Cressida because she is too much of what he doesn't like in society. He might be a good match for Eloise.
He's asking a lot for a MODERN woman. For a Regency-era woman, his expectations - sex without romantic love, children without him present as an active parent - are par for the course. The vast majority of women are already marrying into those expectations, BUT Debling is offering an extremely high degree of independence and self-determination in return. For a modern woman, that independence and self-determination is our birthright; we should rightly look askance at any partner who would try to take it away from us. But for an unmarried Regency woman, she's never had that and likely won't have that in any other relationship. Debling is actually an amazing catch... for the right person. As another commenter pointed out, he's essentially Charlotte Lucas from Pride and Prejudice's ideal man.
Polin, Penelope and Colin, are my favorites. Very much like what you said at the end the foundation of love on friendship because if you don't have, it wont work and they have it.
I loved lord Debling. I was worried about a love triangle when I first saw the trailer but they didnât make him the bad guy. I love the way hĂ© left, telling her he homes sheâll be happy. I was very sad that we disnât him in thĂ© 2nd part of thĂ© season!
The Anakin-Padme and Colin-Pen comparison was spot on. Surly Ani was much more unstable mentally than Colin, having a very morphed idea of love, but this would have made his character better, made him more human and 3dimentional, making his turn to the dark side even sadder
While I loved Colin and Penelope together, I wish that they'd been more central in their own season, and not played second fiddle to the other characters.
Yesssssss!!! I love that youâre talking about these two! Theyâre my favorite couple of Bridgerton haha
Colin & Penelope make me happy.
I would have wanted to se Deblin with Eloise...
Ooooh now that's a match!!!
VERY solid choice.
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We spent a lot of the time speculating about who Lord D would be best suited for, and vice versa. Eloise was definitely a possibility.
"Backseat carriage groping.." haha
I love it so so much! This is the first season I've actually yelled at the screen and had so much invested. Just wished they gave them more time and really developed their personal relationship but it felt so rushed.
So sad that Cressida ended the season that way. I loved seeing her perspective this season. Cressida and Debling would've been a great match!
I really liked Lord Debling. I thought he was sweet, thoughtful, kind, accepting, and handsome. He was genuinely an awesome guy! But I like Penelope and Colin's relationship because it was better FOR THEM. Penelope just didn't have that extra spark with Lord Debling, and that was something she really wanted.
I also think that it's great to show a potential partner that isn't necessarily "bad", but just not right. Lord Debling is still a catch, but just not right for Penelope, which is a real thing that happens to real people, and I think that's a really mature and complex situation that unfortunately isn't represented in media as often as cheap, simple drama.
I have an idea: therapize Johnny Bravo! Yes, the cartoon. I'd love to hear your take on men like that :)
Her âWhatâ is be best What in the history of Whatâs!đ
Colin handled it better than I did when I made a move on my friend when we were 17. We'd been friends for over a year and he made me laugh really hard one day, then I just kissed him. In my mind I was screaming "what are you doing?!" it was so impulsive, I never do anything impulsive! But, luckily for me he liked me too and hadn't known how to approach it. I guess it worked ok, we've been together ever since and we're 37 now!! I think friendship is a solid way to build on a love relationship. I love him more than anything. When we argue we always go back to "you're my best friend. How do friends resolve this issue"
I think Lord Debling turned out to be not a match in the plot just because it is written Pen just has stronger feelings for Colin. But in real life, I think he would be a better match because Colin never really respected Pen as a romantic equal, so even if Pen had stronger feelings for Colin, the relationship dynamic is not as good. I'm Team Debling!
Im so happy to see Jono has a decent microphone now. X3
My problem with Lord Debling was when he learned that she's had feelings for Colin -- and what he says is essentially that he doesn't know if he can ever love her but he doesn't want her to ever love anyone else. To me, that's a huge problem.
He's honest with her in that he doesn't know if he can love her, but he's also honest in the fact that he's looking for someone in the same boat. Pen is not in that boat. You're assuming that whomever he marries will be in Pen's same situation, and fall in love. Thus if he doesn't fall in love with them, then they should be free to love another. There are many women out there who would be content to marry for security and practicality, and would be able to get along just fine if he didn't fall in love with them. Pen is not one of those people, and we know that. When he sees that, he breaks it off. It would be more problematic if he did not. He's willing to take a chance with Pen that the love might grow (before Colin interrupts), but once it becomes clear that she's settling for him, and there is actually a possibility of her dream (as demonstrated by Colin's actions), regardless of whether she sees it or not, he let's her go.
Great job! Love to see the second half of season 3 therapized, as it is A LOT!
Bring it⊠and more, the rest of the season with Polin! Lol
It would be great if you talked about Colin and all his insecurities this season.. From Pen no longer writing to him and feeling alone coming back with a whole new fake persona to his insecurities anout Pen loving him back to before finding out about LW to them being compounded After he finds out. And his jealously about her being a writer. We dont focus too much on Colin unfortunately but his whole emotional journey this season is so good.
Please! More of Polin's relationship! Can you do Ep 5/6/7/8 - with the romance & secrets/reveal and how Colin copes with his anger/how Pen copes, etc.
I really like what you said about how you need love but really you need, trust, respect, safety and similar wants in life.
I broke off a relationship of 2.5 years with my BF. I loved him, but he did not respect me how I needed (and he said sorry and wanted to fix it) but I didnt want to have to teach someone how they should teach me. And secondly, I want a family in my life, and although he does too, it's more a secondary thought. He wants lots of $ and cars first. And I decided, even if he had treated me well, the fact we have separate goals in life was a good sign we were not compatible
Prom night flashbacks! đ Omg!
I love Lord Deblin, and while I think he and Penelope could have make it work, the thing is...he's going to die.
In the series there's a part where he discusses a planned trip to go find the "Northern Pass". The Expedition was doomed, he would have become stranded in the ice and died of starvations, scurvy and well, may have to resort to cannibalism... (further salt in the wound since he's a vegetarian for ideological reasons), so Penelope would be alone, because you see, the bodies were found around 2016 so... she couldn't have been even a widow and remake her life, just a woman with a husband that was lost.
One thing I would say is for me there is an entirely different set of 'rules' and expectations for friendship and for romantic relationship. It is NOT as simple as friendship + passion = true love.
I would love to see something about consent with Colin and Pen. Every time Colin initiates something, he asks permission. Which today, no one would bat an eye at, but 200 years ago was a bit of a foreign concept. The idea that Pen had the authority to say yes or no, and Colin gives her that.
My one issue with Colin was that he did not see Penelope as a viable option in the beginning. It wasn't because they were "just friends," but he friend-zoned her based off of her looks/level of attraction. Her perception by society dictated his desire to do this.
I don't think there's anything wrong with not being attracted to someone.
I think it's important for your partner to be excited about you from the beginning. When you tell your kids about how you met and knew this person was the one, you want to say "I knew from the moment I met her that she was special." You don't want to hear, "yeah I friend zoned her because she was short and chubby and society taught me that tall, thin girls are supposed to be the prettiest.
I think Penelope deserve to be cherished and given attention/affection. Lord Debling couldn't meet that requirement due to his insular nature and desire to be away constantly. I really liked how genuine he was and how he liked Penelope from the get go. There was no disgust, awkward staring, etc...he just thought she was special from the beginning. I feel like he respected her from the moment he met her and you really need that.
I'm not 100% team Colin/Penelope, but also don't think Debling was the right match.
I was really sad that Debling and Cressida didnât end up together in the end. She wasnât always a mean girl, and she needs the freedom from her parents to grow into herself. Debling could give her the room to do that, but it sadly didnât happen.
Please do Aemond Targaryen when season 2 of House of the Dragon ends! đ Here or on Cinema Therapy (Villain? Therapy). He is traumatised in many ways by his toxic family and even attempts to get some sort ofâŠmedieval form of therapy đ . †I love Polin, you always do great analyses!
poor debling never had a chance
sometimes matching with other people feels impossible
I love all of your videos â€
Hey, I saw a clip in this video from one day at a time and there is so much to therapize in that series, which would be amazing to see. Especially the Lydia/Penelope relationships and Lydias view on the divorce. Maybe when you are done with Bridgerton?
Oohhh, I canât wait to hear the therapy of the 2nd part
I love this channel and all you do--may I suggest with the best of intentions that a visible chair (something with a back) would make the frame look a little more structured? You seem ill at ease on the stool sometimes
THANK YOU for your thoughtful work in any seat!
I have adored Penelope since the first episode of season one, so I was really excited she would be the lead of season 3. I'm glad her and Colin got together, even though the season itself was intensely disappointing for me. There wasn't enough POLIN; there was too much fluff and the new showrunner is terrible. Aside from having less focus on the main couple, what was missing was Colin having to fight for Penelope's love. Even though they were doing the Friends to Lovers trope, *Colin is never made to do anything to **_EARN_** Penelope's love. Penelope deserved better than that.* I did love how Colin stood up for Pen with her mother, but it wasn't enough. đ„ș Anyhoo, loved this video!!!!! đ„°
Lord debling was a green flag and a great match for SOMEONE.
Agree with everything in this episode, but I was soooo scared for Penelope that she might not marry anyone at all since it takes all these men soooo long to realize their own feelings
I have loved this season the most.... However.... If Colin had STAYED a nerd/dork then the storyline would have made much more sense.... Where his feelings of inadequacy regarding his penmanship and not knowing the purpose of his life would be the main reason for his disappointment around Whistledown, instead of his worries around the opinion of the ton/queen. Now as a hunk (and most eligible in the ton), the storyline falls flat because he can have anyone. Why would their kiss stir that response in him when he's already very experienced.... It would make more sense if he was still naive (and braggish about his travelling exploits).... Every scene between them makes more sense with him as a dork.
Something about the direction and timing of lines in the key scenes between Pen and Colin feels a little off to me. Pen shows a lot more range in her emotions in the carriage scene than Colin. Her "wut?" delivery was hilarious. Colin also didn't apologize for not realizing Pen's potential already. I think he is a better fit for her as a character (and in the books), but honestly Debling was so charming and there did seem to be more chemistry there even just from their mutual respect.
The "I won't fall in love with you" from Debling was only thrown in, so we wouldn't all find him superior to Colin, you can't change my mind.
#LordDeblingSupremacy
I was Team Debling but they really under utilized him. I had a huge issue with the story and character arcs this season. Overall, this season was really boring. Wasted so much time on minor characters and not enough time developing Polin ship. It was under cooked.
I don't think debling and Penelope would have made it in the long run. I'm so much happier with Colin, but if debling is still available... I'll take him. He's my perfect person đ
Not really about Bridgerton, but I'll use the Bridgerton terminology, because it simplifies it a bit: what if you see potential for a love match, but you no it would not be a good head match? And you are unsure about how the other person feels? If you don't plan on engaging in a relationship that goes beyond friendship, but you feel there is a certain potential for that there, what are smart ways of handling that situation? Talk about it with the person or just try to keep a distance?
Honestly, I preferred Debling as a person. He was more emotionally stable, and secure than Colin was. I hoped he'd marry Cressida and teach her some kindness and compassion.
I read a take that said Debling is perfect for Lady Whistledown, but Colin is perfect for Penelope.
Pen always wanted a love match. Debling couldnât promise that. And would likely try to keep her from her friend Colin because of their history.
I don't think these two had great on-screen chemistry. It felt very much like acting. I think the show runners knew it, and tried to distract from it with a bunch of other storylines.
I thought the carriage scene was a bit cringe, especially when considering the proprieties of the time and Penelope's romantic nature.
I feel like you guys should check out Interview with the Vampire TV series. All of those characters are in desperate need of therapy and many in the fandom wonder what mental illnesses they all have.
im going to be devils advocate here but i thought lord debling and cressida were very well suited and could fulfill each others needs in a relationship.
They're meant to be, but I feel bad for the fellow vegetarian
I think Lord Debling is charming but also would make a better pair with a person who's also more interested in work than relationships and that is not true for Penelope. She's on the side of 50/50 work-love balance.
And Colin and Penelope sure deserve each other .... they both struggle big time with integrity and need hell to break loose before they can step up to accountability. đ Which was rather exhausting to watch. But at the same time it made sense for them to be this way in the context of their family histories.
I want both đą
May be off topic but I realised men characters in Bridgetown are so strange from nowadays perspective. Like Antony - he is viscount, a man of the family, he suppose to have responsibilities, but no - he had not a single occasion in his life only entertainment: club, dance, romance, actresses, marriage, first honeymoon, second honeymoon, but when he took his pregnant wife with his first child for a long-long-long journey to India, I was shocked. It would be months then! And really dangerous!
That was such a clumsy way to write the characters off! Totally out-of-character for Anthony (who for all his flaws is obsessed with fulfilling his viscount responsibilities), and ridiculously dangerous for Kate and the baby. Depending on how far along she is, she could be having the baby on the way!
@@StarryEyed0590 and that would be positive outcome! she could lose a baby, she could die. Death in childbirth was awfully common that time and sadly stillborn even more. And who would help her at sea, or in dirty port?
@@user-gj4wn2id4m Exactly!
You should do Klaroline (Klaus and Caroline) from The vampire Diaries! :)
Polin is definitely very very cute but I think it'll be interesting to talk about the mondrich couple. I know that we have so very little of their scenes but they really piqued my interest. they maneuver their relationship and their lives together as a married couple despite the many many changes and adjustments.
I second this! I have loved watching them throughout the show, especially their connection to Lady Dâs story in Queen Charlotte
@@chideraomeh same! I really love watching them work and grow together as a couple