🤣 BEST JOKE OF THE DAY! - A teacher, a petty thief, and a lawyer die and go to heaven... | Jokes
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- čas přidán 27. 04. 2024
- BEST JOKE OF THE DAY! - A teacher, a petty thief, and a lawyer die and go to heaven... | Jokes
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👇 THE JOKE 👇
A teacher, a petty thief, and a lawyer die and go to heaven...
When they arrive at the pearly gates, they are met by St. Peter.
St. Peter says, "Sorry, heaven's crowding up, so you will need to answer a question correctly to get in."
He looks at the teacher, and asks, "What was the name of the famous ocean liner that sank after hitting an iceberg?"
"Oh, that's easy," replies the teacher, "the Titanic."
So, St. Peter opens the gates and lets the teacher enter into heaven.
Next, St. Peter turns to the petty thief...
Deciding to make his question a bit more difficult, he asks, "How many people died on the Titanic?"
"Oh," says the thief excitedly, "I just saw the movie... "
"It was about 1,500 I think."
St. Peter opens the gates, and the thief enters into heaven.
Finally, St. Peter turns to the lawyer and says, "So, 1,500 people died when the Titanic sank... "
"Name them."
#Jokes #DadJokes #Humor #Funny #LOLJokes #Comedy #Standup #FunnyVideo #CleanJokes - Komedie
Guess ST. PETER didnt want any " DAMN " lawyer's cluterig up Heaven on HIS watch huh!!?? 😮😮😨😨😨😨😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂!!
This was a good one. Well St. Peter knew who he wasn't letting into heaven. He must have known a few lawyers before. Great voices.😅🛳
None of the 3 should have gotten into heaven as all 3 ruined lives
@@Kos4Evr True.
@@kimberlycregger7341 🤝
🩷
Actually, it's an old Russian (from the Soviet times) joke about The Great Patriotic War and three students having a history check: one student with perfect attendance and behavior, one with mediocre ones, and one with bad mischievous behavior.
. The moral idea was, don't make your teacher to be upset and pissed off with you. 😂
A real icebreaker. A lawyer was so large that, when he died, the undertaker couldn’t find a coffin big enough to hold the body. So, the undertaker gave him an enema and buried him in a shoebox.
A police officer pulls over this guy who's been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy's window and says:
"Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube."
The man says: "Sorry, officer, I can't do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that, I'll have a really bad asthma attack."
"Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample."
"I can't do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I'll bleed to death."
"Well, then, we need a urine sample.", says the officer
"I'm sorry, officer, I can't do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that, I'll get really low blood sugar."
"All right, then I need you to come out here and walk this white line.", says the officer
"I can't do that, officer.", says the guy (with a full grin on his face)
Now becoming frustrated the officer says: "Why not?"
"Because I'm drunk."
lawyer: I can name one- Peter
Prejudiced for sure but I'm with St Peter on this one 😂
Go big blue baby
Yeah. I get it's a joke. But. No one knows the names of ALL of those that died. Those records NEVER existed. The majority of 3rd class passengers were never listed by name
That's exactly the point in this version of the joke.
😂😂😂
Don't read any further if you're easily offended.
A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde appear before the Pearly Gates. St. Peter tells them they each have to answer one question correctly before they may enter Heaven.
He asks the brunette, "Who was the first man?"
She says, "That's easy! Adam."
DING-DING-DING-DING-DING! A bell goes off, St. Peter says, "Correct!" and shows her in.
He then asks the redhead, "Who was the first woman?"
She answers, "That's another easy one. Eve."
DING-DING-DING-DING-DING! "Right you are! Go on in."
Finally he turns to the blonde and asks, "What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?"
The blonde gets a look of anguish on her face and says, "Oh, wow, that's a hard one!!!"
DING-DING-DING-DING-DING!
😂
Johnopalko5223 THATS a GREAT one ( dirty old man!!! ) 😮😮😮🤐😆😆😆😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I think saint Peter had had a run in with a lawyer and carried a grudge which st Peter i have a hypothesis about Peter perhaps Peter the one who went by simon originally or the one who lost his head three centuries later didn't like lawyers I know two thousand years ago there must have been judges after all judges is the seventh book of the Bible but only one lawyer is mentioned in the christian bible they must not be a welcomed group. Alexis confirmed some of my suppositions 😮 🙈🙉🙊🤷🏼♀️
Not clever, thought-provoking or funny
Is that your email signature?
To Jay tee rf7ci ROF LMAO!! on THAT comback ( SOME people just have NO sense of humer AT ALL!!)