What to do when they won't pay the medical bills!
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- čas přidán 10. 12. 2022
- What to do when they won't pay the medical bills!
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Thanks for this. Love how you usually cover other direct topics related to the main issue/topic. You use a lot of context and it’s life saving info all around.
Thank you so much for saying that Giacomo - I really appreciate it and it keeps me going on this!
yes
Thanks Roy!
I had a different issue with my ex. She would not always give me the accurate medical bill or tuition statement. She would negotiate a lower out-of-pocket amount and pay her portion. She would give me a copy of the original medical bill. I became aware of this when she gave me copies of an original bill and the negotiated bill. My ex tried claiming that the negotiated bill was the new bill after she paid her portion. After that, she refused to give me copies of the medical bills. She would send me a spreadsheet every month with "medical expenses." I would respond that no medical expenses were being paid as no medical bills were received. That went on for four years. She would do the same with the school tuition statements. She would not supply me with a copy showing any "scholarships" or school vouchers they had received. I only became aware of that when the school secretary called me asking if I was trying to prepay for next year's tuition. My ex felt that I should still pay my portion of the tuition even if it was already covered in full.
When we finally went back to court it was a nightmare for her. Her attorney had submitted close to six hundred pages of "medical expenses" into evidence. My attorney had received a copy of these before the hearing. There were no medical bills included on any of those pages. It was just the spreadsheets she created and store receipts. The receipts were for band-aids, Q-tips, cotton balls, etc. After reviewing the first few pages, the judge asked my ex's attorney if they wanted to take back the documents to highlight the medical expenses that were truly supposed to be split. He responded, "No, that is your responsibility as the judge to do that." They did the same thing with the tuition costs. Only submitted a handwritten document showing what she claimed I owed. I was able to get the actual statements. I had attached them to copies of the receipts from the school for my payments. My attorney separated the statements from the receipts. My attorney told me after court that she did that because it was my ex's responsibility to prove what I owed. I was ordered to pay less than a third of what I actually owed in tuition. I was not ordered to cover any of the "medical expenses" as the judge didn't find any in the six hundred pages. The judge also ordered that my ex must include my name as someone who has access to the medical records and financials.
First sorry you had to go through that chuckler73 BUT damn I loved reading that. That is the type of crushing victory needed to get these people in line - well as I write that I know they never stop and I'm sure more problem are/have come up. Good for you! How have things changed (if at all) as a result of this case? I can't believe they told the judge it was "his" job... That's a good way to ensure that the judge is not on your side...
This is the exact video I’ve been looking for, that bit about splitting the bills, I didn’t know that was even an option. I’ve ran through my cushion to get through this paying almost my entire monthly income on 2 households now while we wait for the hearing I called after she tried to serve me with ex parte orders and continues to be crazy unrealistic in support demands. All of this was her choice and her behaviors yet she can’t continue the life we achieved without me and I’m fucking done trying to negotiate. I’m an inch away from motioning for an estate liquidation, then everyone loses…
In court I signed off relinquishing my ex husband from ever having to pay me the $48,000 he owed in child support and then even ended up arguing in his defense that the judge not send him to jail. At this point the attorney general was after him. My reasoning was that it doesn’t do my son a bit of good if his dad’s in jail. It doesn’t get me any money either. It also guarantees his dad won’t be making any money because he won’t have a job if he’s in jail. It’s 100% not worth the fight. I actually have a real good relationship with my son’s dad because I’ve accepted I can’t expect a dime from him. Filing for enforcement didn’t make a difference. Idk if they still make parents take the For Kids Sake class in Texas prior to getting a divorce but that really stuck with me. Focusing on what’s best for your child is not only the best thing for them it’s the best thing for you too. You can be frustrated wanting something to be other than it is or you can accept reality as it is and then make the best of it. Wanting something to be different than it is or expecting someone to be different than they are only drives you crazy. I appreciate his dad for all the other ways that he is a wonderful dad to my son and I gave up expecting any help financially. Every now and then he will cash app me like $20 and I’m thankful but yeh… you can chose bitterness and resentment and anger and fighting if ya want. I didn’t want that. Oh and even though he’s supposed to pay for our son’s health insurance, after a time or two of him telling me he was and that turning out to be a lie and me getting the bill I’ve just paid for his health insurance. That was the only way to make sure he was covered. Some years I’d qualify for him to get CHIPS/medicaid and that was nice but now I make a little too much. Son graduates HS this year third in his class. I don’t expect a penny from his dad to help with college but thankfully he’s getting quite a bit in merit scholarships. His dad loves him and will join us again this weekend on another college visit but I’ll probably drive and pay for the gas and if I’m lucky he won’t ask me for money! I basically just have to laugh about it now. It truly doesn’t even upset me anymore. He loves our son and I’m grateful for that.
That is really the smart way to deal with this difficult situation. I’ve seen so many people get angry and go back to court only to hav everything spiral out of control. I’m glad you were able to see how focusing on your son was the key. I don’t mean because you let your ex “get away” with anything BBUT instead of you gave YOURSELF (and your son) peace. I’m sure it has to be annoying at times but you’ve really made the best of a bad situation. Thank you so much for sharing that. So many people thing of what they are losing and deciding to “fight” instead of looking at the emotional cost and loss of peace.
@@DSD thank you, keep up the great content!
In my divorce document. My attorney, THANK GOD, put in the following clause: "Whichever parent initiates a medical procedure will pay the entire amount due and forward the paid bill to the other parent for their share of the bill. If the parents can't agree, then either parent can petition the court to resolve." This statement has essentially eliminated unnecessary medical bills. My attorney got it in their because I think he realized that my ex believed that the court would always be on her side and forgot that most judges can read and will ask if the bill is paid. If it isn't, then she just wasted thousands of dollars fighting over a $500 bill.
Fundamentally, NARCs can't see into the future. They are literally blind by their own twisted reality. If you stay calm, you and your attorney can use this to your advantage when going thru your divorce. Hope this helps.
Damn. So sorry I missed this stream. It’s exactly what I’m going through. Tired of being taken advantage of.
I hope the discussion was helpful for you then Shane.
@@DSD It may sound extreme. But after 5 years, I’m literally interviewing new attorneys.
Well not all attorneys are created equal - so interviewing different people is a good idea. I've know a few people who have had great attorneys (but they still bled them dry) but unfortunately MOST of the time they seem to be subpar.
I just pay the bills - there is no use asking him for his share.
That’s what I do now. It just isn’t worth the “emotional” cost of engaging with them…
I litigated down to all bills sent to me and I get all the ordinary medical paid in advance from her via the support system. Then the court stopped pulling the ordinary medical through support - so now I am mulling about $800 and if I want to roll the dice with the court and see if I can get her on contempt for having two bills go into collections. I am thinking going in January to court and asking for an overnight in jail for every bill she received and did not pay or forward (4th notice plus 2 collection notices…
IDK that is a tough one Tim - honestly I doubt they will send her to jail for the bills but I suppose it is possible. Can you get the collection portion to only go/report to her and not you? That is what I ultimately was able to do and it sure made things easier (for me).
@@DSD the original litigation was about her not paying medical bills to my employer - a hospital that threatened me with firing if additional bills were not paid. I was let go during Covid, and the collections were in process at the time, but I was not aware for several months. In previous court hearings, the judge would not even admonish her for outright perjury or attacking me with socks filled with coins in front of the children, or for her slamming the kids head in a revolving door and covering that up. That is the mess of it. If I go to court, I may not even get reimbursed for the bills, give the worthless scumbags on the bench…
Never. Not one time was the ever not an issue with medical bills. For that fact anything we were to split money for.
that is so typical cwb... The really frustrating part of all of this is that THEY make this so difficult... All of this could be "easier" but they want/need the drama and chaos... The end result is we basically hate these people so there never is a way to find any common ground... Just sad...
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